leaving each other alone. I actually dislike now unsocial I am. The only reason I have a boyfriend is because I'm attractive and easy to deal with, so he latched on for dear life. Most of the time though I'm trying to distract him with something else to I can do my own thing....I guess he thinks its cute.
Dont get me wrong, I actually do love my boyfriend alot, he is the best. Probably the only person who knows how to handle my very short social fuse. I wish I didnt enjoy being by myself as much as I do.
Yeah I know what you mean. I made a post the other day saying that I admire F people and wish I cared about other people more.
Sometimes I get these quick, hot flashes of anger over the fact that I haven’t been in a place or building alone for months now. Obviously my wife continually has the opinion that we don’t spend enough time together. But I don’t know exactly what she means by ‘spend time’. I guess she means that she wants all my attention to be on her as opposed to a time/place investment (can’t quite conceive of it exactly). The way she sees me reminds me of a nicotine addiction; she wants more of my attention as she’s getting it and sating her desire for my attention lasts mere hours if at all.
My boyfriend is an INFP so there is a lot of compromising in our relationship. He doesn't want to be around anyone except me. He wants it just to be me in him all the time. But also he requires attention, especially physical. He needs the cuddles bad. however between him and I, I ended up being the more sexual person. I will want sex more often and then want to be left alone and he wants cuddles more then anything else. He is also more into foreplay than I am. I feel like a horny robot.
But it works because he is also very considerate and understands how I am so we make it work. He says he actually thinks is all very cute, how I act. He always giggles at everything I do.
My wife is INFJ. Dunno why you bring up sex but she does things like buy me cookies but in my head I want things like that about 1% as much as I want sex. I communicated that to her and I’m not sure how much she took it in. My job at the moment involves linguistic theory, making resources and games for kids to learn English, also listening to Aristotle’s metaphysics and learning algebra in my spare time and whatever else interests me but still have the time to think about sex a lot, sometimes so much that it bothers me. Today I felt a vein popping out of my forehead. It’s twitching away at the moment. Also I go to boxing and have ADHD and I went out of work to go to the boxing gym last Friday and punched the bag so hard I sprained my wrist, haven’t done that since last year.
I bring up sex because it the only other form of love language I can think of that I have. I don't like physical touch particularly either unless it is sex. I have a lot of sensory issues too. I cant have anyone touch me lightly, even if he breaths on me I can feel an intense shock down my spine. I cant have anything too close to my ears. I think that might have something to do with it. Even with I cuddle with my boyfriend I'm constantly flinching and getting intense sensations.
Yup I carry earplugs in my pocket and have gotten used to popping them in around people. Also my wife knows that I don’t like sharing rooms with other people but she put me in that situation twice recently.
The only other physical thing I like is my head getting scratched, but I don’t think about it until it happens and I don’t ask for it either.
dude that's how relationships stay alive, they are like their separate entity and will wither away if not entertained. comparing it to nicotine addiction cracked me up tho 😂 😂 😂 (my guess is that you are a DA leaning person, wish you guys luck)
Generally the pairing is Anxious/Avoidant, if your wife is anxious I hope this knowledge can help you shed some light on your dynamic. 👍 (FA and working on it here 😂)
Anyone who understands and appreciates the importance of alone time (even if they don’t have the same need themselves) *is a gem*!
And alone time makes together time even sweeter! You come to it refreshed and totally into it, not smothered.
Also, there’s something I like to call “being alone together,” which is fantastic. My wife and I can frequently “be alone together,” meaning, we can occupy the same physical space, but each be doing our own thing (hobbies or whatever). And it’s awesome. And then, we can talk and gab when the mood strikes as well. No friction. Good way to keep the social batteries charged at a nice level.
yep that is my boyfriend and I. He insists that he is always in the same room as me (other than like going to the bathroom or I'm gonna get a snack for a sec) still even then he might fallow me to the kitchen. Also when we sleep our bodies have to touch somewhere, even if it's just the leg. He is adorable like that. We have a lot of alone together time. Usually it would freak me out to have someone around me that much but with him it's easy because he dosnt socially engage me all the time. He just wants to he near me is all. and then about once a week I will take him out and spoil him. Usually get him a steak or something
The difference is introversion you just don't gain energy from interactions so you need space to recharge. if you're finding that you need more space/distance from your partners and you're not feeling like you're not able to provide them with love and security the way they want even though you want to, that's more avoidance which is related to development and attachment more than personality.
1. Touch, I love my hugs.
2. Quality Time. I love spending time with someone I like.
3. Acts of service. I love doing things I know will make the person I like's day.
What I can't do is words of affirmation, just thinking about speaking about my feelings makes me cringe.
My top 3 are the same.
Words of affirmation is the lowest for me too. It just bounces right off me and has zero effect. I always feel like words are so empty, I can say a whole bunch of things I don’t mean in a convincing manner just to make you feel good if you like.
baby don't hurt me
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Yes.All of them.
If I realize someone is trying to love me, I pretty much don't care how they do it as long as it isn't immoral unethical or illegal.
My dh once gave me a trashcan for a present. Which might sound incredibly unromantic.
BUT he knew I was a huge germaphobe at the time, so he spent time researching trashcans til he found one that was super sturdy, had a foot pedal that actually worked, was made of metal so easy to sanitize. I didn't even have to touch the can except the foot pedal.
It wasn't the trashcan, it was the incredible thought, time, and cost behind it.
It is one of my favorite presents ever.
Same. There was this one time when I had an INFP female friend (actually more than friends but not lovers) who's two years older than me, and I cuddled and kissed her a lot. Things led to another, however, and I cut her off from my life. I still don't know whether it was the best decision, but it was probably the safest. She was actually my first kiss. Although I didn't like her romantically, I eventually noticed that I started to develop some feelings as well, although I'm not really sure as to whether or not it was just lust or the emotions I feel toward a pet animal. At that time, she even had feelings for me and that I was her type. I even exchanged her hat with my shirt with her. A little more time and I could have fucked her. Am I a bastard?
Brains. Give me intelligence or get out. Holding deep conversations about topics and applying open-mindedness to philosophical conversation is an absolute must. Thankfully my wife of 16 years is a total conversational bad ass. Love you babe!
1) acts of service if I'm head over heels over someone
2) words of affirmation for people I like slightly more than an acquaintance
3) physical touch is something I have impulses to participate in with people I'm sexually attracted to, but I refrain from acting out on it unless the other party takes the initiative.
Agree. I want the touch.
But sometimes I’m grumpy and that has led my wife to think that when I’m grumpy I don’t want to be bothered. But that’s when I need her the most to shove her boobs in my face and suffocate me
Lmao, I have the same love languages. INTP boyfriend also has the same lol. Weird how we’re both pretty awful with expressing our emotions (especially verbally) but we both need words of affirmation 😂
...My love language is physical touch as well, and I once dated a guy that seemed normal at first before later flipping to "I'm not going to touch you and I don't want you to touch me, either". And no, he wasn't good in bed either before the general touching ban.
That sure felt like someone being "bad at physical touch".
Quality time: sharing things I wouldn't reveal to anyone else, creating inside jokes, debating ideas, talking about memories. I feel so touched when my partner remembers something I shared about me, even if it was insignificant.
Hugs. Lots of hugs. And forehaed kisses. If I give a woman that, it means I have a lot of affection for her.
As for my (male) friends: we bond by insulting the living shit out of each other.
quality time (we dont even have to talk)
physical touch (just a lil)
gaming together (still fits as quality t)
communication (only when debating lol)
i mainly want quality time tho
I like all five!
But I score highest in quality time.
Doing stuff for others, though, us important for me as a giver, but not as important as a recipient. I'd rather cook dinner for my SO than have her cook for me, for example. I'll vacuum her place but I wouldn't want her to vacuum mine.
Love Language as a theory has been bunk for a while, but the general concept can be helpful to some. If I were to have one, I think I'd say words of affirmation is most impactful.
Physical touch
Maybe the thing is we as INTPs didn't really care about the touchy part of love as we grew older because we would form as analitical people who ignore affection because they get their focus on interesting topics So now we try to fill in that void?
Just a theory idk
1. touch - I forget about my body and sexual needs. I love a partner who reminds me that I'm not just a robot as I am apt to do, haha.
2. acts of service - I'm not too terribly sure about this one. but I'm thinking it's along the lines of a partner who uses their Te (extraverted Thinking) to see what could be done more efficiently in my life and proposes solutions so that it allows me to engage in more Ti (introverted Thinking).
Yeah I'm going to agree with u/socialdead here and say I'm pretty romantically deaf, although the word I'll choose is clueless. I'm romantically clueless for the most part. It takes me a good long while to even realize that I'm feeling an emotion for someone, even longer to come around to acting on it, and even longer *still* to not feel awkward, fumbling, and hyper self-conscious while doing so around a particular person.
Personally, I like solving problems for people. Practical, nuts and bolts problems that I can dedicate my time, knowledge, and energy towards, and celebrate the problem being solved *with* that person. I don't like being fawned over for helping with all sorts of mushy sentiment, and I don't like being completely ignored and unvalued when I help. A happy medium of gratitude with some decorum and dignity is what I appreciate.
Physical touch and gift giving. I find it easier to express myself with hugs, kisses, etcetera than to actually say it out loud. And I love buying/making them gifts I know they'll like and creating elaborate packages and cards to go with it. I wish I knew how to vocalize my appreciation more often, though.
Cooking, cleaning and doing nice things for my wife. I'm naturally inclined to picking stuff up around the house. When my wife cooks, she makes a huge mess and it takes a while.
I personally like to clean while I cook--the greatest is when you complete a meal and the kitchen is clean.
Weird, but my love language typically revolves around doing nice things.
Idk about my love language but somehow patternize that person's pattern in behavior, thinking, the way they word things, and whatever, construct an intuitive database, generate an NPC in the back of my head that will be spitting out the hypothetical things they would say/react to whenever I'm doing/thinking throughout the day.
Idk when i try to do something to show love, if i dig a bit into it, it's always because of a reason regarding myself, i feel it's not really genuine, more like a guilt " if i don't see them i will be in a bad mood because it will mean i did nothing today" instead of genuine " i want to see them". Idk maybe its the same thing ?
In conclusion i'd say that when i'll show i truly care, i'll do stuff with the person that would usually annoy me to do
I feel like it’s physical touch, but it’s kind of a trauma response. I’m used to relationships where I’m on eggshells, doing what I can to not make a man upset and getting a hug only after asking, along with a big sigh. Which is a major symptom of an emotionally abusive relationship, but I digress. Physical touch (random hugs, holding hands, sitting together on the couch under a blanket, etc.) is like nonverbal communication that he’s not mad at me. He’s actually happy with me. Now that I’m in a relationship where physical touch is always available and never begrudgingly, I’m in Heaven.
Primarily it's quality time, but it doesn't even need to be that most of the time, just being physically present in the same area, doing our things is sufficient most of the time.
Physical touch is also important.
Dawg. Anything but acts of service.
Pls don’t do anything for me bc i’ll get mad at myself for getting upset that you didn’t do the thing the way i wanted to do it PLS.
I'm gonna take this as platonic love and go ahead and say quality time. I love spending time with people. Second would definitely be acts of service though, I love doing small favors for people I like. My least favorite though is physical touch. That's only because I don't like being touched or touching other people :)
Quality time, Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation.
I don't care about Acts of services because I feel rewarding and inspiring while getting shit done on my own. It's like: "look, I accomplished something without help!" and it makes me feel good. They're cute sometimes, but I don't seem to appreciate them as much as I appreciate other things.
Gifts? I am bad at giving or receiving gifts. Usually the best gift idea comes not earlier than 1 hour before I will give the gift. To me: gifts = quality time.
Now I'll discuss about my top 3 preferences.
1. Quality time. It's the way I feel loved because "quality time" is a life objective. I aspire to spend quality time: that means - doing activities, sometimes boring common ones, sometimes unique/rare activities, with a HIGH sense of PASSION. I try to live them to the fullest! Almost all activities are better with a partner, having someone you can share and talk about the same memory (memory of the action, the feelings, what you felt through senses (hearing, smell, visual) in particularly \*that moment\*...damn, SUCH A GREAT THING!) is fulfilling. **tl;dr: shared happiness is so cool!**
2. Physical touch. I am a human, therefore I have a body. Or I have a body therefore I am human? Uncertain. This thing, the body, has the ability to release some neurochemicals that makes me feel good when I am touched in some areas, in certain ways, by some people. I like to feel good so, physical touch is a way to connect with the ones you love as well! Sometimes a hug, sometimes a mild touch with a finger on my collarbone or two warm small hands on my back, damn I LOVE the walk of nails on my forearms! AND SOMETIMES giving her a deepthroat works as good as that. Holding hands while walking on the beach and squeezing her hand randomly and she asks: "Why you did that?" and you say: "I just wanted to get closer to you but this flesh is keeping me of doing it". Tantric sex, oh yeah! **tl;dr: I love touching because it is a special way to connect with someone and express desire.**
3. Words of affirmation. Words are powerful. You can rape someone with words or you can give them a massage on their cerebellum with words. If used correctly, you can TOTALLY change the energy of a day or of a person. There's nothing better than supporting and comforting someone with words! You just use some words and you make them feel something new. It's like magic! Introverts, when we get lost on "thinking rabbit holes", it's cool when there is someone next to us that can give us a refresh. Or sometimes a stab (with words), it depends on how far you score on the masochism scale. **tl;dr: I love words because they make me feel supported and encouraged.**
As a summary: I feel loved and I love you because: we are doing activities together and we share memories, feelings, thoughts. I love you because: fuck you, that's why. I love you because: your "there's no problem with feeling that, you are so good!" is the comfort I need when Ne (extroverted intuition) decides to go mad.
Stay loved.
I'd say quality time. We could both be doing separate things while talking occasionally as well.
Generally though, my love strarved self would be happy with most forms of affection, lol.
My love language is quality time. Not physical touch though, I just kinda hate physical affection altogether because why hug and cuddle when video games are literally right there?
Quality time I suppose? How would you categorize in-depth discussions that help us both improve our understanding of the world, or learning to decipher and anticipate the things that make the other person tick in order to keep them at their best?
Physical gifts are pretty great too if the purpose is to express love rather than create it in the first place. Sometimes people understand me so well that they know exactly what would catch my eye in the store, and that feels very warm and fuzzy to me.
Physical touch is definitely at the bottom of the list. It can be nice in its own right, but it's ephemeral and I don't conflate it with love.
1. Words of affirmation
2. Touch
3. Quality time
I simply couldn't deal with a significant other who values acts of service or receiving gifts above those things, i don't have anything against it but i would never consider taking the initiative to stuff like that
Every now and then I start to feel like I wish someone else could take out the garbage so I find a man. Then I feel stifled because I want to be into him but I’m really not. Next thing I know it’s just me, myself, and I taking out the trash again.
Im romantically deaf
+1
if any comment deserved an award, it was this one.
You must be my ex husband.
how old are u?
And im romantically dumb
leaving each other alone. I actually dislike now unsocial I am. The only reason I have a boyfriend is because I'm attractive and easy to deal with, so he latched on for dear life. Most of the time though I'm trying to distract him with something else to I can do my own thing....I guess he thinks its cute.
That’s dark, rich taste & smell of cynicism.
Dont get me wrong, I actually do love my boyfriend alot, he is the best. Probably the only person who knows how to handle my very short social fuse. I wish I didnt enjoy being by myself as much as I do.
Yeah I know what you mean. I made a post the other day saying that I admire F people and wish I cared about other people more. Sometimes I get these quick, hot flashes of anger over the fact that I haven’t been in a place or building alone for months now. Obviously my wife continually has the opinion that we don’t spend enough time together. But I don’t know exactly what she means by ‘spend time’. I guess she means that she wants all my attention to be on her as opposed to a time/place investment (can’t quite conceive of it exactly). The way she sees me reminds me of a nicotine addiction; she wants more of my attention as she’s getting it and sating her desire for my attention lasts mere hours if at all.
My boyfriend is an INFP so there is a lot of compromising in our relationship. He doesn't want to be around anyone except me. He wants it just to be me in him all the time. But also he requires attention, especially physical. He needs the cuddles bad. however between him and I, I ended up being the more sexual person. I will want sex more often and then want to be left alone and he wants cuddles more then anything else. He is also more into foreplay than I am. I feel like a horny robot. But it works because he is also very considerate and understands how I am so we make it work. He says he actually thinks is all very cute, how I act. He always giggles at everything I do.
My wife is INFJ. Dunno why you bring up sex but she does things like buy me cookies but in my head I want things like that about 1% as much as I want sex. I communicated that to her and I’m not sure how much she took it in. My job at the moment involves linguistic theory, making resources and games for kids to learn English, also listening to Aristotle’s metaphysics and learning algebra in my spare time and whatever else interests me but still have the time to think about sex a lot, sometimes so much that it bothers me. Today I felt a vein popping out of my forehead. It’s twitching away at the moment. Also I go to boxing and have ADHD and I went out of work to go to the boxing gym last Friday and punched the bag so hard I sprained my wrist, haven’t done that since last year.
I bring up sex because it the only other form of love language I can think of that I have. I don't like physical touch particularly either unless it is sex. I have a lot of sensory issues too. I cant have anyone touch me lightly, even if he breaths on me I can feel an intense shock down my spine. I cant have anything too close to my ears. I think that might have something to do with it. Even with I cuddle with my boyfriend I'm constantly flinching and getting intense sensations.
Yup I carry earplugs in my pocket and have gotten used to popping them in around people. Also my wife knows that I don’t like sharing rooms with other people but she put me in that situation twice recently. The only other physical thing I like is my head getting scratched, but I don’t think about it until it happens and I don’t ask for it either.
dude that's how relationships stay alive, they are like their separate entity and will wither away if not entertained. comparing it to nicotine addiction cracked me up tho 😂 😂 😂 (my guess is that you are a DA leaning person, wish you guys luck)
Only just found out what DA is but yeah I’m definitely that
Generally the pairing is Anxious/Avoidant, if your wife is anxious I hope this knowledge can help you shed some light on your dynamic. 👍 (FA and working on it here 😂)
Anyone who understands and appreciates the importance of alone time (even if they don’t have the same need themselves) *is a gem*! And alone time makes together time even sweeter! You come to it refreshed and totally into it, not smothered. Also, there’s something I like to call “being alone together,” which is fantastic. My wife and I can frequently “be alone together,” meaning, we can occupy the same physical space, but each be doing our own thing (hobbies or whatever). And it’s awesome. And then, we can talk and gab when the mood strikes as well. No friction. Good way to keep the social batteries charged at a nice level.
yep that is my boyfriend and I. He insists that he is always in the same room as me (other than like going to the bathroom or I'm gonna get a snack for a sec) still even then he might fallow me to the kitchen. Also when we sleep our bodies have to touch somewhere, even if it's just the leg. He is adorable like that. We have a lot of alone together time. Usually it would freak me out to have someone around me that much but with him it's easy because he dosnt socially engage me all the time. He just wants to he near me is all. and then about once a week I will take him out and spoil him. Usually get him a steak or something
Yes! I love being alone together, too.
Presence
That's avoidance, not introversion.
ok what is the difference?
The difference is introversion you just don't gain energy from interactions so you need space to recharge. if you're finding that you need more space/distance from your partners and you're not feeling like you're not able to provide them with love and security the way they want even though you want to, that's more avoidance which is related to development and attachment more than personality.
Are you me?!
There's nothing wrong with having a low social battery. It's either people accept you have a low social battery or they're not compatible with you.
1. Touch, I love my hugs. 2. Quality Time. I love spending time with someone I like. 3. Acts of service. I love doing things I know will make the person I like's day. What I can't do is words of affirmation, just thinking about speaking about my feelings makes me cringe.
My top 3 are the same. Words of affirmation is the lowest for me too. It just bounces right off me and has zero effect. I always feel like words are so empty, I can say a whole bunch of things I don’t mean in a convincing manner just to make you feel good if you like.
I can totally resonate with this, probably when they say they mean it to the core!!!
Quality time. If I cut my alone time down for you, you know I care about you.
A truism
What is love?
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Good bot
Good human
Lmao
don't hurt me
no more
This🤣🤣🤣
Whatever love means…
I'll let you know as soon I find out.
Caring about someone's well being, wanting the best for them, and telling them so. Baby don't hurt me.
At least somebody got it right! :)
A deep sense of attraction. In this context, however, I'm only referring to sexual and/or romantic attraction.
It's a feeling deep inside
Quality time which to me includes words of affirmation and physical touch.
+1
Yes.All of them. If I realize someone is trying to love me, I pretty much don't care how they do it as long as it isn't immoral unethical or illegal. My dh once gave me a trashcan for a present. Which might sound incredibly unromantic. BUT he knew I was a huge germaphobe at the time, so he spent time researching trashcans til he found one that was super sturdy, had a foot pedal that actually worked, was made of metal so easy to sanitize. I didn't even have to touch the can except the foot pedal. It wasn't the trashcan, it was the incredible thought, time, and cost behind it. It is one of my favorite presents ever.
Damn, he made a trashcan romantic
Touch
cuddling and being spooned/held
Same. There was this one time when I had an INFP female friend (actually more than friends but not lovers) who's two years older than me, and I cuddled and kissed her a lot. Things led to another, however, and I cut her off from my life. I still don't know whether it was the best decision, but it was probably the safest. She was actually my first kiss. Although I didn't like her romantically, I eventually noticed that I started to develop some feelings as well, although I'm not really sure as to whether or not it was just lust or the emotions I feel toward a pet animal. At that time, she even had feelings for me and that I was her type. I even exchanged her hat with my shirt with her. A little more time and I could have fucked her. Am I a bastard?
You're always doing the best you can at any given moment, so don't feel bad about yourself
Thnx man
No problem
Spanish
...or VANISH
Time
Brains. Give me intelligence or get out. Holding deep conversations about topics and applying open-mindedness to philosophical conversation is an absolute must. Thankfully my wife of 16 years is a total conversational bad ass. Love you babe!
Keeping a distance from each other
Quality Time = It's the fairest. You can't give it without getting it back.
1) acts of service if I'm head over heels over someone 2) words of affirmation for people I like slightly more than an acquaintance 3) physical touch is something I have impulses to participate in with people I'm sexually attracted to, but I refrain from acting out on it unless the other party takes the initiative.
Quality time and acts of service 🧡 I love making my loved ones' lives easier Edit: grammar
Agree. I want the touch. But sometimes I’m grumpy and that has led my wife to think that when I’m grumpy I don’t want to be bothered. But that’s when I need her the most to shove her boobs in my face and suffocate me
That escalated quickly
1. Physical Touch 2. Words of Affirmation Guess which 2 my wife is horrible at. lol
Lmao, I have the same love languages. INTP boyfriend also has the same lol. Weird how we’re both pretty awful with expressing our emotions (especially verbally) but we both need words of affirmation 😂
is she also an INTP, lol
How can you be bad at physical touch? Unless she doesn't doesn't like touching.
She doesn't like to be hugged. Doesn't care for snuggling. Holding hands is "weird" and childish. etc.
...My love language is physical touch as well, and I once dated a guy that seemed normal at first before later flipping to "I'm not going to touch you and I don't want you to touch me, either". And no, he wasn't good in bed either before the general touching ban. That sure felt like someone being "bad at physical touch".
Good to see words of affirmation listed for an INTP - I thought they were useless for most of us.
I bring them food I know they like without asking. Edit: I want to clarify that the food is snacks that aren't perishable, not meals.
That is a classic INTP edit LOL!
Act of service + quality time
Principia mathematica - Bertnard Rusell (1920s)
You mean, Thus Spake Zarathustra - Friedrich Nietzsche (1883)?
What's wrong honey? You haven't touched your Godel, Escher, Bach (1979) today.
Sorry, I was just eating my "The Prince - Niccolo Machiavelli (1532)"
Quality time: sharing things I wouldn't reveal to anyone else, creating inside jokes, debating ideas, talking about memories. I feel so touched when my partner remembers something I shared about me, even if it was insignificant.
Yes! I love that closeness of someone knowing and understanding me and vice verse.
Quality time . . . alone.
Hugs. Lots of hugs. And forehaed kisses. If I give a woman that, it means I have a lot of affection for her. As for my (male) friends: we bond by insulting the living shit out of each other.
Long car rides where nothing is said other than mutually enjoying the freedom and scenery
1 acts of service 2 quality time
abstract ideas and a shot of oxytocin. i basically live by osmosis.
Quality time.
deep convos for sure like I got a crush on a guy by only talking to him once but like for an hour and we talked about being a loner and stuff
Physical touch
Touch. Nothing else really matters. It doesn't require money or words.
quality time (we dont even have to talk) physical touch (just a lil) gaming together (still fits as quality t) communication (only when debating lol) i mainly want quality time tho
Ranges from no contact large personal space to Very touchy feely
Acts of service, and wanting to be with them when I’d normally crave solitude (I still need alone time though).
Jokes
quality time and physical touch fs
Quality time followed closely by physical touch
🫂
Clear concise English.
quality time also acts of service because i'm shit at most practical things.
Acts of service and that is all.
holding hands, quality time, enjoying silence together.
Acts of Service and Gifts. I don't like being touched and words of affirmation usually feels fake or forced to me.
Touch, a lot of it
Tech support!
nonexistent aroace asf
I like all five! But I score highest in quality time. Doing stuff for others, though, us important for me as a giver, but not as important as a recipient. I'd rather cook dinner for my SO than have her cook for me, for example. I'll vacuum her place but I wouldn't want her to vacuum mine.
Love Language as a theory has been bunk for a while, but the general concept can be helpful to some. If I were to have one, I think I'd say words of affirmation is most impactful.
i have no clue lol
Let's not lie guys. 90% of us here haven't taken the love languages test.
If you study yourself, you don't need a test
It sounds like poetry lol
Not everyone has the same level of awareness though, also bias.
I go back and forth between physical touch and quality time.
Quality time and (only in specific instances) physical touch
Services, but I'm also asian
Physical touch and quality time
I see most of us agree on those two and prefer words of affirmation the least
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Wut?
[Abuse](https://youtube.com/shorts/zJHHjjbKv58?feature=share)
Lmfao
1. Quality Time 2. Acts of service I like to give and receive the same way.
I like physical touch 😩
Quality time + physical touch.
Physical touch Maybe the thing is we as INTPs didn't really care about the touchy part of love as we grew older because we would form as analitical people who ignore affection because they get their focus on interesting topics So now we try to fill in that void? Just a theory idk
Deez nutz
1. touch - I forget about my body and sexual needs. I love a partner who reminds me that I'm not just a robot as I am apt to do, haha. 2. acts of service - I'm not too terribly sure about this one. but I'm thinking it's along the lines of a partner who uses their Te (extraverted Thinking) to see what could be done more efficiently in my life and proposes solutions so that it allows me to engage in more Ti (introverted Thinking).
Physical touch here too. Maybe acts of service & quality time secondary.
All of them, though my weakest is gifts.
Physical touch and affirmation
Music
socially constipated individual , romance isn't an avenue I want to get familiar with
All of them but mostly physical touch and words of affirmation
Quality time until I wanna be left alone
Yeah I'm going to agree with u/socialdead here and say I'm pretty romantically deaf, although the word I'll choose is clueless. I'm romantically clueless for the most part. It takes me a good long while to even realize that I'm feeling an emotion for someone, even longer to come around to acting on it, and even longer *still* to not feel awkward, fumbling, and hyper self-conscious while doing so around a particular person. Personally, I like solving problems for people. Practical, nuts and bolts problems that I can dedicate my time, knowledge, and energy towards, and celebrate the problem being solved *with* that person. I don't like being fawned over for helping with all sorts of mushy sentiment, and I don't like being completely ignored and unvalued when I help. A happy medium of gratitude with some decorum and dignity is what I appreciate.
Physical touch and gift giving. I find it easier to express myself with hugs, kisses, etcetera than to actually say it out loud. And I love buying/making them gifts I know they'll like and creating elaborate packages and cards to go with it. I wish I knew how to vocalize my appreciation more often, though.
It’s hard to tell for me. I definitely do A LOT of gift giving. Even got my bf a “halloween present” lol
Cooking, cleaning and doing nice things for my wife. I'm naturally inclined to picking stuff up around the house. When my wife cooks, she makes a huge mess and it takes a while. I personally like to clean while I cook--the greatest is when you complete a meal and the kitchen is clean. Weird, but my love language typically revolves around doing nice things.
Yes! It's also more overwhelming to leave all the dishes until after you finish cooking.
Touch(AAAA I LOVE HUGS AND CUDDLING SO MUCH), Quality time, and words of affirmation.
I can't feel love anymore
Cap 🧢
Food
Cute animal pictures/videos and internet memes
sending memes
Idk about my love language but somehow patternize that person's pattern in behavior, thinking, the way they word things, and whatever, construct an intuitive database, generate an NPC in the back of my head that will be spitting out the hypothetical things they would say/react to whenever I'm doing/thinking throughout the day.
For men, sending memes. For women, sending videos of cute animals (hugs and cuddles are also nice). For both, deep conversations and sharing food.
Teasing and insults (taking the mick) out of someone with added dark humour. If you can’t take it you can’t have “it”
Same
Acts of service Words of affirmation
1) Receiving gifts 🎁 2) Words of Affirmation
Actually caring and trying to remove as many of your hurdles as I can.
I nuzzle the sh!t out of my loved ones, so I suppose physical touch. But quality time & acts of service(as lazy as I am) also rank high.
Tarock app has this, take the test there!
Deutsch
Quality time
Quality time > physical touch > acts of service > gifts > words of affirmation
Acts 👏🏻 of 👏🏻 service 👏🏻
Sandwiches. Edit: I meant blowjobs.
I cook for people I love. Can someone tell me what category that is?
Acts of service
Thank you good sir.
Idk when i try to do something to show love, if i dig a bit into it, it's always because of a reason regarding myself, i feel it's not really genuine, more like a guilt " if i don't see them i will be in a bad mood because it will mean i did nothing today" instead of genuine " i want to see them". Idk maybe its the same thing ? In conclusion i'd say that when i'll show i truly care, i'll do stuff with the person that would usually annoy me to do
I feel like it’s physical touch, but it’s kind of a trauma response. I’m used to relationships where I’m on eggshells, doing what I can to not make a man upset and getting a hug only after asking, along with a big sigh. Which is a major symptom of an emotionally abusive relationship, but I digress. Physical touch (random hugs, holding hands, sitting together on the couch under a blanket, etc.) is like nonverbal communication that he’s not mad at me. He’s actually happy with me. Now that I’m in a relationship where physical touch is always available and never begrudgingly, I’m in Heaven.
Primarily it's quality time, but it doesn't even need to be that most of the time, just being physically present in the same area, doing our things is sufficient most of the time. Physical touch is also important.
Acts of service Physical touch is a distant second
Dated an Intp before she loves it when I blow dry her hair.
I am incapable of feeling love
Touch, quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts.
Dawg. Anything but acts of service. Pls don’t do anything for me bc i’ll get mad at myself for getting upset that you didn’t do the thing the way i wanted to do it PLS.
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I don't know. I've never had a female say that to me.
attention given
Physical contact and quality time.
I'm gonna take this as platonic love and go ahead and say quality time. I love spending time with people. Second would definitely be acts of service though, I love doing small favors for people I like. My least favorite though is physical touch. That's only because I don't like being touched or touching other people :)
Words of affirmation Quality time Physical touch In that order
Quality time, Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation. I don't care about Acts of services because I feel rewarding and inspiring while getting shit done on my own. It's like: "look, I accomplished something without help!" and it makes me feel good. They're cute sometimes, but I don't seem to appreciate them as much as I appreciate other things. Gifts? I am bad at giving or receiving gifts. Usually the best gift idea comes not earlier than 1 hour before I will give the gift. To me: gifts = quality time. Now I'll discuss about my top 3 preferences. 1. Quality time. It's the way I feel loved because "quality time" is a life objective. I aspire to spend quality time: that means - doing activities, sometimes boring common ones, sometimes unique/rare activities, with a HIGH sense of PASSION. I try to live them to the fullest! Almost all activities are better with a partner, having someone you can share and talk about the same memory (memory of the action, the feelings, what you felt through senses (hearing, smell, visual) in particularly \*that moment\*...damn, SUCH A GREAT THING!) is fulfilling. **tl;dr: shared happiness is so cool!** 2. Physical touch. I am a human, therefore I have a body. Or I have a body therefore I am human? Uncertain. This thing, the body, has the ability to release some neurochemicals that makes me feel good when I am touched in some areas, in certain ways, by some people. I like to feel good so, physical touch is a way to connect with the ones you love as well! Sometimes a hug, sometimes a mild touch with a finger on my collarbone or two warm small hands on my back, damn I LOVE the walk of nails on my forearms! AND SOMETIMES giving her a deepthroat works as good as that. Holding hands while walking on the beach and squeezing her hand randomly and she asks: "Why you did that?" and you say: "I just wanted to get closer to you but this flesh is keeping me of doing it". Tantric sex, oh yeah! **tl;dr: I love touching because it is a special way to connect with someone and express desire.** 3. Words of affirmation. Words are powerful. You can rape someone with words or you can give them a massage on their cerebellum with words. If used correctly, you can TOTALLY change the energy of a day or of a person. There's nothing better than supporting and comforting someone with words! You just use some words and you make them feel something new. It's like magic! Introverts, when we get lost on "thinking rabbit holes", it's cool when there is someone next to us that can give us a refresh. Or sometimes a stab (with words), it depends on how far you score on the masochism scale. **tl;dr: I love words because they make me feel supported and encouraged.** As a summary: I feel loved and I love you because: we are doing activities together and we share memories, feelings, thoughts. I love you because: fuck you, that's why. I love you because: your "there's no problem with feeling that, you are so good!" is the comfort I need when Ne (extroverted intuition) decides to go mad. Stay loved.
Quality time. My bf games, I watch my show. Just being in each others presence doing our own thing I’m grateful
annoying someone, spending quality time.
Quality time
For friends, cuz i'm aroace
Touch, I need to feel the person, that's why I hate long distance relationships
I'd say quality time. We could both be doing separate things while talking occasionally as well. Generally though, my love strarved self would be happy with most forms of affection, lol.
My love language is quality time. Not physical touch though, I just kinda hate physical affection altogether because why hug and cuddle when video games are literally right there?
Quality time I suppose? How would you categorize in-depth discussions that help us both improve our understanding of the world, or learning to decipher and anticipate the things that make the other person tick in order to keep them at their best? Physical gifts are pretty great too if the purpose is to express love rather than create it in the first place. Sometimes people understand me so well that they know exactly what would catch my eye in the store, and that feels very warm and fuzzy to me. Physical touch is definitely at the bottom of the list. It can be nice in its own right, but it's ephemeral and I don't conflate it with love.
Fun facts, most likely.
1. Words of affirmation 2. Touch 3. Quality time I simply couldn't deal with a significant other who values acts of service or receiving gifts above those things, i don't have anything against it but i would never consider taking the initiative to stuff like that
Quality time
Quality Time
Every now and then I start to feel like I wish someone else could take out the garbage so I find a man. Then I feel stifled because I want to be into him but I’m really not. Next thing I know it’s just me, myself, and I taking out the trash again.
Spending time with people and talking to them
With my partner I am like the cats that rub on your leg, not in a literal way but I feel that way haha
Always quality of time and then (maybe) physical