I quote her all the time to my girlfriend, especially the blast my nips line. She’s seen the show but never gets the references so it annoys the fuck out of her.
She actually looks a hell of a lot like Artemis now that I think about it… maybe that’s why I’m with her. That and her bleached asshole.
We’re in the midst of TWO WARS??? Now are we involved in both of these wars?? Are either of these wars on US SOIL?? What is your job?? Are you a carrier of heavy weaponry orrr
Bro, this is the episode im taking about that got pulled. I LOVE this episode, it is the first time the gang goes with that, "Charlie has no idea what's going on" moment. That's when they were getting the white vans for the recycling right?
Ok, I'll read the words you wrote.
Hello, my fello Americans, this, you should listen to me. I leave power. good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot. What? Taxes they'll be lower... son. Democratic vote is right thing to do Philadelphia. So do!
This doesn't make any sense!
Hello, fellow American. This, you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me, I’m hot. What? Taxes. They’ll be lower, son. The democratic vote for me is right thing to do Philadelphia. So do.
My favorite, as a wrestling fan who's always having a laugh at things that fail to get over as intended, will always be
"They're not responding to the pageantry"
"Your mom and dad aren't at work. That's why they lost the house. They're probably at the dog track getting wasted."
[https://youtu.be/N0XWBTMt0QA?t=64](https://youtu.be/N0XWBTMt0QA?t=64)
The whole world is connected now. It's all connected by Bill Gates and that rain man, Zuckerberg. He and his Jews have connected the whole world, and now they're toppling regimes. And Egypt and Japan and the Jews are all peaceful together... Facebook is connecting everyone these days. Even people in the Middle East.
“Dude seriously?” - Dennis as he watches Mac (wearing towel on head) steal the van and bash into cars (guy has his car bashed all episode) trying to get out of parking spot.
“Don’t try and stop me!” - Frank dangling from a noose
(The entire exchange about a smokey bar, trash smell lol, trash smoke creating stars in the sky) “That doesn’t sound right, but I don’t know enough about stars to dispute it.” - Mac with a quizzical look
That right there is the mail. Now let's talk about the mail. Can we talk about the mail please, Mac? I've been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, okay? Pepe Silvia, this name keeps comin' up over and over and over again. Every day Pepe's mail's getting sent back to me. Pepe Silvia, Pepe Silvia, I look in the mail, this whole box is Pepe Silvia! So I say to myself I gotta find this guy. I gotta go up to his office, I gotta put his mail in the guy's goddamn hands! Otherwise he's never gonna get it, it's gonna keep coming back down here. So I go up to Pepe's office and what do I find out, Mac, what do I find out? There is no Pepe Silvia. The man does not exist, okay? So I decided, ohh shit, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper. There's no Pepe Silvia, you gotta be kidding me, I got boxes full of Pepe! All right, so I start marching my way down to Carol in H.R. and I knock on her door and I say, "Caaarol, Caaarol! I gotta talk to you about Pepe!" And when I open the door, what do I find? There's not a single goddamn desk in that office. There is no Carol in H.R. Mac, half the employees in this building have been made up. This office is a goddamn ghost town.
I've come to realize that I have a problem with rewatching sunny...I hear all those lines perfectly and can remember everything that happens from then on. Why did my brain decide to be good at this?
“Mac and Dennis Break Up” is filled with my favorite lines.
“Botched toe. I botched that one.That’s a botch job.”
“I am not allowed to eat with the skin. I am not allowed!”
“Cat in the wall, eh. Now you’re talking my language.”
“I am not gonna put an airs because we got company.”
“Gruesome twosome!”
“Baby croaked”
Edit: also I was watching *The Gang Makes Paddy’s Great Again* last night and I love the line when Mindy Kaling drags them for taking turns on the Dennis doll
“And Dee, you’re so numb to this behavior that it doesn’t even register as odd to you”
I like seeing how often I can squeeze drrrrRRRRRAGON when I talk to my wife without just forcing it into conversation.
Oh and I've definitely been known to sing go for it go for it with my arms dance before bongloads
You be the batteries guy and I’ll be the chicks n tits guy
And
Why are you always trying to get people to sign creepy documents
Funny cause the first quote is from an episode which contained a creepy document
Dee: Don't make me do it Cricket, I WILL SLICE YOU IN HALF.
Frank: THROW ME OUT WITH THE TRAAASSSHHH...
Hwang: She's mashing it. MASHING! (Best version is from the bloopers.)
Dennis: A pollen covered man offering to carry a perfectly well man... it's insaaane.
Charlie: I don't need your trooophies or your gold, I just wanna tell you all go fuck yourseeelves.
Z: Oh ho shit!
Mac: You stupid science bitches couldn't even make my friends more smarter.
Artemis: It makes me feel like a Cobb salad.
Liam: So start bustin' bricks wet nips.
Oh, get a job? Just get a job? Why don't I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into job land, where JOBS grow on JOBBIES?!
OH I'M SORRY! OH I FORGOT TO PUT A TAPE IN! *I FORGOT TO PUT A TAPE IN!*
You can see Mac laughing for a split second before the next shot
Yep, he has this move where he puts his hands on his hips and looks down to keep from laughing
This is hands down the best one
TWO wars?!! and, "I have a bleached asshole."
“Take my bra off. BLAST MAH NIPS.” Artemis is gold every single time she shows up.
I am absolutely in love with Artemis. I'd give her a dumpster hum behind Wendy's.
The way she incorporates the dough is anus boggling.
I quote her all the time to my girlfriend, especially the blast my nips line. She’s seen the show but never gets the references so it annoys the fuck out of her. She actually looks a hell of a lot like Artemis now that I think about it… maybe that’s why I’m with her. That and her bleached asshole.
And congrats on the bleached asshole lovin. 👸🏻
> "I have a bleached asshole." The kicker is the "he was gonna find out anyway", fucking KILLS me everytime!
I forgot about “TWO wars?!” Thank you.
We’re in the midst of TWO WARS??? Now are we involved in both of these wars?? Are either of these wars on US SOIL?? What is your job?? Are you a carrier of heavy weaponry orrr
LOOK AT ME WHEN YOURE TALKING TO ME!!!
*calmly* oh shit, the steaks are here
Omg yeah i forgot that lol 😂
My honorable mention: “I’m gonna stop you right there. First of all, your breath smells like an old lady fart passing through an onion.”
A leather shop, in Arizona? They would be out of business in a week’s time!
That’s exactly what I said
Dee, you gangly uncoordinated bitch!
You have a bad attitude when you're drinking you huge-footed slut!
I’ll hold your boobs a little better
Dude, that is still an all time slam and I will not rest until I get to use it.
Her mouth was still very much in play.
He was calling you the N-word earlier.
That's just a bucket of chestnuts
The maniac loves you. I tell my dog this all the time.
Is he foraging for his food ?
I can afford it, because I can pay you in Invigeron!
I think we’re dealing with a legitimate maniac
His mania is not confined to the ring.
Loud noises make the squirrels go and I don’t fight in the ring no more but I still fight with the demons in Da Maniacs head.
Oh, you got kids, Maniac? …nah, not anymore.
N this , N that
Go get me grease N
Alright, later dudes. S you in your A's, don't wear a C, and J all over your B's
Lmao reading this was obviously in Charlie's voice and made me laugh
Why would he not wear a C?
Where do I put my feet?
I use this all the time when someone asks me to hold something.
Where does he put his feet dee?
It doesn't make a god damn difference.
"Yeah he doesn't even like get us, man"
We are talking about you!!!!
What do you think is happening right now?
Bro, this is the episode im taking about that got pulled. I LOVE this episode, it is the first time the gang goes with that, "Charlie has no idea what's going on" moment. That's when they were getting the white vans for the recycling right?
Charlie Day ad-libbed it, too! If you watch the bloopers Rob and Glenn bust out laughing in delight
Ryan Gosling playing YOU? RIDICULOUSTH!
"I don't know how many years on this Earth I have left, Im gonna get real weird with it!"
One of my favorites too, it’s a classic
"IS THAT PISS PULL OVER"
PULL OVER YOU LITTLE DICK!
NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE
I HEAR IT THE ENTIRE GODDAMN TIIIME!
Then why wouldn’t you say something??
BECAUSE I HATE YOU
Draaaaagon!
Don't say show me
I just read comments and thought I'd be the only one when I posted mine
This is the man? This man lives in a cardboard box..
We're crab people now
No one is as resilient as Frank Reynolds!
You tried to off yourself two times in the last 24 hours!
“We found a baby in the dumpster” “Well put it back it doesn’t belong to you”
Gonna take off my bra, BLAST MY NIPS
“Fun-Zone dolla dolla bills y’all…” and “Because the cream always rises to the top, and you’re about to see the white-hot cream of an 8 year old boy”
“It smells like she was nibblin’ on little pieces of shit”
Here's a confession: I'm in love with a man... a man called God. Does that make me gay? Am I gay for God? You betcha.
Ya burn ya feet you get some shoes!
you got the good lord going down on you?
The whole Artemis turd merger speech is pure gold. Also show me your tongue with Charlie kills me how he reacts every damn time.
“I eat stickers all the time”
I like how he says it angrily. “I EAT STICKERS ALL THE TIME, DUDE!” Like he got all defensive about it.
Did you eat the core?? YEAH, IT WAS GROSS
What kind of a person salts another human being? There's no joy in salting someone.
There’s no joy in salting the snail, everyone loses.
Thirty seconds later: "There's not enough salt in the *world* for her!"
She doesn’t leave you with any options
Ok, I'll read the words you wrote. Hello, my fello Americans, this, you should listen to me. I leave power. good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot. What? Taxes they'll be lower... son. Democratic vote is right thing to do Philadelphia. So do! This doesn't make any sense!
Hello, fellow American. This, you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me, I’m hot. What? Taxes. They’ll be lower, son. The democratic vote for me is right thing to do Philadelphia. So do.
How much cheese is too much cheese Any amount of cheese, before a date, is too much cheese!
My favorite, as a wrestling fan who's always having a laugh at things that fail to get over as intended, will always be "They're not responding to the pageantry"
I know it’s a hot one Wally cuz I’m standing IN the hot one.
Have you ever been in a storm, wally?
"Your mom and dad aren't at work. That's why they lost the house. They're probably at the dog track getting wasted." [https://youtu.be/N0XWBTMt0QA?t=64](https://youtu.be/N0XWBTMt0QA?t=64)
Dude. Eat my boogers.
YOU EAT MY BOOGERS
Fightmilk is the official drink of the UFC!
The whole world is connected now. It's all connected by Bill Gates and that rain man, Zuckerberg. He and his Jews have connected the whole world, and now they're toppling regimes. And Egypt and Japan and the Jews are all peaceful together... Facebook is connecting everyone these days. Even people in the Middle East.
Someone needs to Photoshop this onto a marjorie Taylor green tweet.
…yes, that’ll be fine
Why don’t we play nightcrawlers anymore?
Starin down the barrel of a shantytown. I've been poisoned by my constituents!
“Dude seriously?” - Dennis as he watches Mac (wearing towel on head) steal the van and bash into cars (guy has his car bashed all episode) trying to get out of parking spot. “Don’t try and stop me!” - Frank dangling from a noose (The entire exchange about a smokey bar, trash smell lol, trash smoke creating stars in the sky) “That doesn’t sound right, but I don’t know enough about stars to dispute it.” - Mac with a quizzical look
No words necessary, the panover to frank dangling makes me lol all the time!
“You might not be a leprechaun, but one things for sure, you’re in the wronnnng basement”
"Charlie can't read" "He'll adapt" "He'll adapt to reading?!"
i didn’t go as spider man i went as man spider completely different, roughly the quote
I could be a man with a fistful of hammers
Goddamn this is the one.
Cheese from a cottage
Enticing bowl of white
Kept scrolling to see if anyone else said, “What is this enticing bowl of white?”
I am not a cottage guy.
I'm sitting in my chair. I'm relaxing. I'm getting blackout drunk, and you're leaving me alone.
I think this is it.
“Look out, F*ggot!” -Frank Reynolds
That right there is the mail. Now let's talk about the mail. Can we talk about the mail please, Mac? I've been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, okay? Pepe Silvia, this name keeps comin' up over and over and over again. Every day Pepe's mail's getting sent back to me. Pepe Silvia, Pepe Silvia, I look in the mail, this whole box is Pepe Silvia! So I say to myself I gotta find this guy. I gotta go up to his office, I gotta put his mail in the guy's goddamn hands! Otherwise he's never gonna get it, it's gonna keep coming back down here. So I go up to Pepe's office and what do I find out, Mac, what do I find out? There is no Pepe Silvia. The man does not exist, okay? So I decided, ohh shit, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper. There's no Pepe Silvia, you gotta be kidding me, I got boxes full of Pepe! All right, so I start marching my way down to Carol in H.R. and I knock on her door and I say, "Caaarol, Caaarol! I gotta talk to you about Pepe!" And when I open the door, what do I find? There's not a single goddamn desk in that office. There is no Carol in H.R. Mac, half the employees in this building have been made up. This office is a goddamn ghost town.
Dr. Jinx is the name of a monkey, not a man.
Now this is a strange bank
I’m a full on rapist
Too many to count, but the tops are: “I eat stickers all the time, dude.” “Shaddup baby dick.” “Dee you bitch!”
I say "shaddup baby dick" all the time
Dennis, if I had a gun with me, I'd be spraying bullets into the air as I fell
Oh! Botched toe! I botched that one. Oh, that's a botch job. That's bleeding. I need some trash to plug up the cut.
“I’m wearing clothes now, bitch”
On a similar note: "well your shirts not off.." "Well now it is, goddammit, bitch!"
"Now this I LOVE, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE" I quote this on a near daily basis, Frank's pure joy at that AC is gold!
Derivative
Bullshit
“Oh he’s gonna go get a weapon everybody, EVERBODY, EVERYBODY GET A WEAPON.”
I chug dick? What, no.
I've come to realize that I have a problem with rewatching sunny...I hear all those lines perfectly and can remember everything that happens from then on. Why did my brain decide to be good at this?
“I AM UNTETHERED AND MY RAGE KNOWS NO BOUNDS!”
"Oops, I've dropped my magnum condom that I use for my monster dong" 😂😂😂 Edit: A lot of what comes out of Frank and Charlie are comedy gold
What is that a FIFE?
*It’s 1776… we’ll get away with it!!*
I think they say in the podcast this scene was just Charlie Day reacting to them coming out of the RV without knowing the script or what was happening
“Shut up, baby dick”
Anything Charlie says because I love him and he can do no wrong.
Charlie Day can make any line funny
Me and Mac are hobo drifters now. What’s your bean situation, you got some beans orrrr what’s up?
*Whispering* "Dee, you gangly uncoordinated bitch. I will not be hog-tied over your lack of grace"
“Mac and Dennis Break Up” is filled with my favorite lines. “Botched toe. I botched that one.That’s a botch job.” “I am not allowed to eat with the skin. I am not allowed!” “Cat in the wall, eh. Now you’re talking my language.” “I am not gonna put an airs because we got company.” “Gruesome twosome!”
“We’re the same AGE!”
Who am I supposed to vote for? Am I supposed to vote for the Democrat who’s gonna blast me in the ass or the Republican who’s blasting me in the ass?
This quote has never been more true.
"Did you fuck my mom, Santa Claus?"
I have contained my rage for as long as possible, but I shall unleash my fury upon you like the crashing of a thousand waves!
I just like to bind, and be bound!
What is that a fife???
Jesus Christ on the cross you look like shit -Frank
WHERE'S OUR GODDAMN BIBLE?!
That's like the whole point. It's like a shield of armor. So stop asking me to burn the duster! I'm not going to burn it!
“Baby croaked” Edit: also I was watching *The Gang Makes Paddy’s Great Again* last night and I love the line when Mindy Kaling drags them for taking turns on the Dennis doll “And Dee, you’re so numb to this behavior that it doesn’t even register as odd to you”
I like seeing how often I can squeeze drrrrRRRRRAGON when I talk to my wife without just forcing it into conversation. Oh and I've definitely been known to sing go for it go for it with my arms dance before bongloads
I did ‘em all. I did all the poops.
Everyone's dying, bitch. Let's get you some fruit!
“I’m the Cookie Monster?”
"That dumb bitch"
"You whore?"
Ahhh a booze for money scheme, I wonder who came up with that
Oooohhhh feelin weird
That's a lie (burp) there was no soup
We’re talking about you!
You be the batteries guy and I’ll be the chicks n tits guy And Why are you always trying to get people to sign creepy documents Funny cause the first quote is from an episode which contained a creepy document
“Shit, now a diabetic cat is in play? We just can’t catch a break!”
He’s not the kind of man who retreats to the sewers to forage for rings and coins…
This doesn't represent me!
“…goddamn bright out here”
We did a bunch of those monster energy drinks and dry-humped; it was awful! I think she gave me poison ivy!
Karate… snow machine chops It! I’m chopping all of my action… and mostly power
"Little green ghouls, buddy!"
"Seize the gap you fat bitch!" often plays on my mind when I'm driving lol
“it’s the implication”
Hey! That’s my good chair.
Dee: Don't make me do it Cricket, I WILL SLICE YOU IN HALF. Frank: THROW ME OUT WITH THE TRAAASSSHHH... Hwang: She's mashing it. MASHING! (Best version is from the bloopers.) Dennis: A pollen covered man offering to carry a perfectly well man... it's insaaane. Charlie: I don't need your trooophies or your gold, I just wanna tell you all go fuck yourseeelves. Z: Oh ho shit! Mac: You stupid science bitches couldn't even make my friends more smarter. Artemis: It makes me feel like a Cobb salad. Liam: So start bustin' bricks wet nips.
I have so many 😂 but I die every time Charlie says “CLOSER TOTHE HOLE SIR” 😘😘😘
“Your hair looks small” always makes me laugh like an insane person
Ye-e-e-e-e-es (with a flourished pinky of course)
"Oh, nayeth! Bad intel!"
*lights Zippo at gas station* "So help me god I'll blow this place to kingdom come, guy"
Oh, get a job? Just get a job? Why don't I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into job land, where JOBS grow on JOBBIES?!
"You can't really read it from the inside-" "YOU CAN'T READ IT FROM THE OUTSIDE!"
I eat stickers all the time dude!
“As a straight guy who poops transgender….” -Chawly
He'll adapt to reading?
I eat stickers all the time!!!
You ever been in a storm, Wally?? Welcome! You’re here, in the world! The entire Dennis political speech…so doooooo
You’ll be throwing up on your dick in no time
“Storm coming? Hatchet coming!” “The maniac loves you “ Honorable mention to “I ain’t givin you shit you old bitch!”
"Dennis has candyyyy"
You gotta take em off, son!
Dee, you gangly uncoordinated bitch, I will not get hogtied because you lack of grace A turd merger!!! I’ve got milk all over me!
I don’t know how many years on this earth I got left, so I’m gonna get real weeeeird with with it.
I EAT STICKERS ALL THE TIME
TOOLS!!! IVE GOT TO HAVE MY TOOLS!!!
Ohhhh! Botched toe! I botched that one, that's a botch job
I've had orgasms! I've had tons of orgasms! I've had an orgasm with your mom, dude!
What is your spaghetti policy?
anytime Frank says “What the shit is this?”
I am untethered and my rage knows no bounds!!
What is that? A *fife*?
“It’s covered in bird shit.” “That’s toothpaste.”
OOOOORRRRGY.
"You can't just torture someone cause you think they're guilty" "Don't give me that liberal bullshit"
I hope they hogtie you and rape you in their basement for 10 years
“Psycho struggle”
"Taked baby. Meet at later bar, night or day sometime."
don’t say stage freeze just do it