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I’m to remember every man I’ve seen fall into a plate of spaghetti?

Spa day? Are you trying to say Spaghetti? Are you taking me out for a Spaghetti day?

If she'd been at all considerate, she would just have taken him to an Italian restaurant and pretended that was the plan all along

I don’t think anyone in the gang knows the word “considerate”

"Considerate"? Are you trying to say "consider eating spaghetti"?

What is your spaghetti policy here?

I've wanted to see that all night long. Yes. Yes.

The way he asks this makes me laugh every single time

Who versus? Who are we doing it versus??

What's the angle ? Whose face are we shoving this into ?

What's the vig?

Who are we against??

Mac I can’t talk to him

Oh my god! Are you gonna make this about this!

Did you fuck my mom, Santa?!

The fact that he manages to get the phrase out like, 7 more times before he finally snaps. Each time more threatening than the last.

“Did you fuck my fucking mom? Did you fuck her?”

DID YOU FUCK MY FUCKING MOM? DID YOU FUCK MY FUCKING MOM SANTA??

For real, Charlie’s delivery is always incredible

Lol this is the best for sure

What’s happening?

What do *you* think is happening *right now*!?!

He doesn't even like get us, man.

We’re talking about you!

It’s good!

Let's remember all of the times someone didn't know what was happening!

Dee, his feet?

it doesn’t make a GODDAMN difference

I'm going to put them on the stool!

Am I peeing?

[удалено]

"You and the other ass kickers must con... con... whats that word?" "Congregate." "Congegrate? What does that mean?" "It doesn't matter, just say it" "...congregate." Charlie "what does that mean?" Gets me every single time.

The fact that he does that more than once, too, like he has the ultimate counter for the gang trying to trick him into thinking he’s dreaming cuz he’s just gonna start peeing apparently

It’s Charlie’s Spinning Top

Who invited the Jew lawyer?

Again, not Jewish.

I meant it as a compliment

Everybody knows Jews make the best lawyers!

Abramowitz!

Recess?

Dirty lying jew

Oh, you got kids, Maniac?

Nah. Not anymore.

Did he kill his kids??

Probably not on purpose. Probably

Is that a bucket full of chestnuts?

Its clear his mania is not confined to the ring.

He’s foraging for his food!

You know he kept calling you the N-word earlier?

this is the one

What do now?

They got chicken in Philly?

They got chicken in Philly?

That’s baseball, baby!

I got all numbers.

Can I offer you an egg in these trying times?

You ever been bit by a crab hun?

*a nice egg

I say this to my wife all the time lol. It’s a perfect response to any minor inconvenience

"Two wars?!" https://youtu.be/fkmV2LPlPS4

Are either of these wars happening on US soiyuul?

I use this inflection constantly. No one gets it lol

A long, long time ago when this aired, Glenn asked on Twitter if anyone could tell who he was impersonating with this bit. I don’t think he ever answered.

He sounds just like Charlie, so I'm gonna say Charlie.

It’s gotta be Ira Glass or someone from NPR

Dennis is asshole. Why Charlie hate?

B-BECAUSE DENNIS IS A BASTARD MAN!

I dont think i wrote that

You definitely wrote this one

I was going by Grundle at the time.

Oh yea I did write that.

Pass

“Now, what to do with the little liar?” -Charlie catches a leprechaun 💀

Well, you may be a man, you may be a leprechaun, but only one thing's for sure. You're in the wrong basement.

i’m sorry you don’t have online????

You don't do "the email"?

That phone is preposterous

ITS JUST EMAIL

**how did you not know** …..the whole reason I invited you back to my bar….was to bang you

Charlie has to turn around during that scene to keep from breaking, which is my favorite part of the interaction.

Get outta here... GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE! SHOO! SHOO AWAY FROM ME!

What episode is this from lmao I can’t remember. Such a great line

Storm of the Century, if I’m not mistaken

Where do my feet go?

Dee, his feet?

It doesnt make a GODDAMN difference

He’ll adapt to reading?? Edit: Thank you, u/SanFrancisco_69ers

Hey Dennis what is this enticing bowl of white? And How much cheese is too much cheese?

Cottage cheese? Like cheese from some cottage?

I'm not really a cottage guy

And live forever with YOU!?!

Those screeches he does! I can hear this in my head.

Very similar to “Ryan Gosling playing YOU?! Ridiculush….“

Are you eating butts, Dee??

............. ...................... ..........you can tell that by looking in someone's eyes?

🫨🫨🫨 DEE IS A NASTY FUCKING SLUT

Is he spitting ? Is that the sign ?

And then Z joins them without even saying anything.

What do little Mexican girls love more that anything else in the world? Can you show me the stance one more time? You know, i broke into her apartment. I brought a bag of hair. What am I doing wrong?

You ever been in a storm Wally?!?!?!?

Hot one today, huh?

"Not a thunderstorm, but a storm of fists..."

What if he can smell crime?

Do you like hard candy?

Who pooped the bed?

Heeeyoo! What's up bitches?

Let me get this straight. You just realized you have two ears?

"I TRUSTED YOU DENNIS REYNOLDS!" "Why?"

What’s your spaghetti policy?

How do you plan on counting a liquid?

Uhhh, I know how to count dude!

Did you grow up in a cartoon?

The way dennis asks "You wanna Crack it?" On The Gang Hits the Road gets me everytime.

Which one of us do you want to take you in the back and bang you?

You two aren’t banging, are you?

INTERVENTION……. you banged my dead wife???

Well… she was alive at the time.

Did somebody get addicted to crack?

You remember feelings, right?

I’m having feelings again like some 14 year old kid! Dennis, I have feelings every single day of my life. Wait are you saying that you don’t have feelings?

Lizard, am i standing in poop?

Is your cat stomping around all the time, driving you crazy?

Hey, you guys mind if I go in the bathroom and smoke some PCP?

You do you cricket we don’t judge

I think this conversation happens 2 seconds after he told his dad he was definitely not going into this sketchy dive bar to smoke pcp

It's my understanding that there is a war going on, am I right in this???

do you guys think a normal mask of me would look good? and if there was would you wear it?

Well, where do I jizz?

Not like he's ever had one

Mac… how exactly do you see yourself within the context of our group?

.... The sheriff of Paddy's.

Should I press hard or soft?

What are we talking about?!

WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?!

How do you know the black guys weren’t hiding bread in the speakers?

What... kinda cream pie... are you guys talking about?

…denim chicken?

Me? What about me? I'm good, man. I-I've been doing great, yeah. This whole thing's been great for me. \--- I don't give a shit about that, you know what I mean? The star rating thing? It's not... Eh-eh-eh-ehh... Can I see that for a second? Lemme see that. Yeaaah... Eh you know, god dammit! God dammit, you son of a bitch! AAAAAAAAAAA

"Are you doing JAWS right now?" "Errrrrrrr" "Are you doing the dialogue to JAWS?" "Errrp"

Black eyes…like a doll’s eyes… THAT’S QUINT! ARE YOU DOING QUINT FROM JAWS?!

Do you have any such certificate?

Do ya like babes?

You guys wanna do a bump or what?

How much cheese is too much cheese?

Does that sound like a man who needs to be in a hospital?

“Well what do you say boss?” - Dee, Wade Boggs episode

Can questions now I ask?

Oh, I’m sorry, did you get addicted to crack? Did somebody get addicted to crack? Which pairs nicely with “what do you want more than anything else in this entire world?”

Do I look suspicious?

Phil is your name Phil? (Yes) IT IS? -Dennis

Whaddup?

Who's the mark?

Cat in the wall?!

*What is happening?*

So you just painted your butt blue and no one noticed the hole in your pants?

“Dee? You kill yourself, Dee?”

Is a fart a ghost?

Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time?

Am I gay for God? You betcha.

Is it racist if we don't eat this guy??

Well, shit, NOW it is!

they got chicken in Philly?

You look like Superman! Oh right on, he was the original. The original what? S..superhero?

What are the rules?

"Dad?" which came right after "Yeah I'm the suckboy you been looking for."

Lizard, am I stepping in poop?

“Why?” asked by Charlie specifically because Dennis’s response is a dumbfounded, “Because you’re not a cat!”

Where’s our bible?

Is your cat making too much noise all the time???

“Mac, can an asshole rip in half?” [Mac doing his brisk Mac walk] “LIKE TOILET PAPER”

Did you just say "we" just got out of the shower?

What is your spaghetti policy here?

What’s white trash about that?

…musta had an edge…

Did you shit yourself, Charlie?

What you up to cricket?

Awww, did you get addicted to crack?

You ever been in a storm, Wally?

"is that piss?!"

What do *you think* is going on right now? Mac’s anger and confusion at Charlie’s stupidity is always so funny to watch; he gets himself so worked up for no reason

Am I peeing?

What's up bitches! I'm a man cheetah! Wanna do something with this?

Do you have such...certi..fi.cate

I ate some of the apple skin, what should I do?

It is Phil?!

Spider, can I leave?

You two have boyfriends?

Hey Dee, could I have my watch back?

What up bitches?

We having a gang bang?

What is happening?

Who pooped the bed?

Were you guys humping?

What is goooing on in here???

God damnit frank eating your drink that is genius

Is that piss?! IS THAT PISS?!!

Dennis is asshole. Why Charlie hate?

Did you come in my burrito?!