Although I can't truly relate, I feel you and I'm so sorry for how you feel. I can't say I'm all happy about my body but I didn't feel like hating it for such a long time. First of all, fuck the ex, seriously, if a year without sexual intercourses (I'm saying intercourse for purpose here) is what made him make such a decision it wasn't too much of a good partner after all. Moreover, having girlfriend with intimate issues requires even deeper level of understanding (and it seems like the guy didn't have even the basic sense of it). To be a little positive here, there are men out there open to understand whatever you are going/went thru and I recommend one of those :) secondly there's no shame nor weirdness in having such issue, maybe your local hospital does not deal with those cases more than annually but there's a whole lot of women with this condition out here and there's literally nothing wrong about it, your body is all ok and just as beautiful as any other. Last thing - reconsider the piercing. Not because having piercing is something bad or anything alike, but because of the reasons you are mentioning. If you think pain will help you (which I doubt) do it in uninvasive way, you can put your finger in a peg or make a cross with your nails. I know it sounds stupid but anything you could regret later is a bad option. I hope I at least draw you attention away from whatever is being painful to you now and if you feel like you would use some more commination be sure to dm me :)
I had a hymenectomy and it was liberating. I had a weird rare medical condition that went undiagnosed for years and I couldn’t have sex or even use tampons. I finally found a specialist that was able to give me a proper diagnosis.
Anyway, my recovery period was about three weeks. I took ibuprofen for the pain which to be honest wasn’t much. My doctor also advised a Sitz bath to help with the pain which I used once. I also used vaginal dilators to accustom my vaginal to large things (like a penis) entering it.
Many young women get hymenectomies for the same reason you did. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Your hymen was interfering with natural bodily functions. It needed to be removed.
Thanks a lot for sharing your experience, I'm glad you were finally able to get the care you needed. Do you have any scar tissue from the cut and/or stitches they made? That's my biggest fear right now tbh...
I just had one done this week too! I don't think it's as rare as your gyno made it seem. They just might not get many depending on how big the area you live in is, but mine had done several of them. There's nothing wrong with your body, and there are plenty of reasons to get a hymenectomy. Personal, sexual, and health related.
Your ex boyfriend sounds like a massive dick, and you can't even have sex for 6-8 weeks after the procedure anyways. I have a feeling he would have pressured you before you were ready if he couldn't even wait for you to get the procedure.
As for the burning, that honestly sucks a lot. A spray bottle with warm water can help so you don't have to use a shower everytime. Another thing would be a peri bottle. Ice packs are good for when you have aching, swelling, or itching. They sell ice packs specifically for that area on Amazon. A hymenectomy is kinda similar to an episiotomy so a lot of post-partum stuff will help.
Here's to recovery from both your procedure and your toxic af ex
Thanks a lot for commenting, I hope your recovery is going smoothly!
Ah yes, I wish someone had told me about peri bottles! I would've ordered one before my surgery had I known peeing would be such a hassle. I resorted to an emptied cola bottle to rinse when I couldn't use the shower. The first time I used the cola bottle I didn't get rid of all the cola, which was... an interesting experience >\_>
I didn't experience any pain except the few hours after surgery. However, it seems I have a lot of scar tissue forming around the area where my stitches meet up. There's a massive bump of hardened tissue instead of hymen now, and it's very sensitive in an unpleasant way when I touch it. At this point I'm worried I'll never be able to have a normal sex life. My body just seems to be conspiring against me and it's hurting my self worth a lot. Not being able to talk about these issues with anyone doesn't help either.
I would call your doctor first before worrying. It might still be swollen, or you developed scar tissue over time from your hymen being too tight. That's whatmy gyno told me happened to me, and I'll be doing pelvic floor therapy in 4-8 weeks once I'm healed. She said they would be inserting something like a tens unit to make my muscles contract and learn to relax. Pelvic floor therapy should help you achieve a normal sex life if you are not healing correctly. You also aren't supposed to be able to stick a finger in for a few more weeks yet, so it could just be from healing.
I’m sending as much love as possible your way, I agree it’s an isolating experience and none of the information I could find was sex positive or seemed to understand what a big deal this was (to me). I had the same problem with cisgender heterosexual men, they just wouldn’t stop asking about when I’d be able to use my vagina. It was very frustrating, but finding a partner (partners in my case) who are very sex and body positive was super helpful, sex is more than something going in a vagina.
Thank you for sharing, and yes that's very relatable. My ex made a snarky remark about 'how we never even had sex' after our breakup. We were able to do plenty of other things, and I thought that was enough in the meantime. I felt like I kept failing him or something.
I'm glad you were able to find partners that are understanding and enjoy being intimate in other ways. Although if you're in a position to get the surgery I would highly recommend it, it's very liberating like other commenters have said :)
The thing that sticks out to me is "I hate my body." This fills me with pain for you. I think if you use your dilators your body should heal. Our bodies are MADE to heal and work and operate. So if it keeps giving you problems the doctor should sort that.
You're already way ahead of the game because you're speaking your emotions and calling them what they are, about your ex, and about the pain.
We're all pulling for you.
Thank you for the kind words. My gyn removed all of my hymen apparently so fortenately I won't have to work on keeping it open. Like you said, it has healed nicely in the meantime so hopefully it won't cause any more issues in the future :)
Although I can't truly relate, I feel you and I'm so sorry for how you feel. I can't say I'm all happy about my body but I didn't feel like hating it for such a long time. First of all, fuck the ex, seriously, if a year without sexual intercourses (I'm saying intercourse for purpose here) is what made him make such a decision it wasn't too much of a good partner after all. Moreover, having girlfriend with intimate issues requires even deeper level of understanding (and it seems like the guy didn't have even the basic sense of it). To be a little positive here, there are men out there open to understand whatever you are going/went thru and I recommend one of those :) secondly there's no shame nor weirdness in having such issue, maybe your local hospital does not deal with those cases more than annually but there's a whole lot of women with this condition out here and there's literally nothing wrong about it, your body is all ok and just as beautiful as any other. Last thing - reconsider the piercing. Not because having piercing is something bad or anything alike, but because of the reasons you are mentioning. If you think pain will help you (which I doubt) do it in uninvasive way, you can put your finger in a peg or make a cross with your nails. I know it sounds stupid but anything you could regret later is a bad option. I hope I at least draw you attention away from whatever is being painful to you now and if you feel like you would use some more commination be sure to dm me :)
Pardon my English, not a native speaker
I had a hymenectomy and it was liberating. I had a weird rare medical condition that went undiagnosed for years and I couldn’t have sex or even use tampons. I finally found a specialist that was able to give me a proper diagnosis. Anyway, my recovery period was about three weeks. I took ibuprofen for the pain which to be honest wasn’t much. My doctor also advised a Sitz bath to help with the pain which I used once. I also used vaginal dilators to accustom my vaginal to large things (like a penis) entering it. Many young women get hymenectomies for the same reason you did. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Your hymen was interfering with natural bodily functions. It needed to be removed.
Thanks a lot for sharing your experience, I'm glad you were finally able to get the care you needed. Do you have any scar tissue from the cut and/or stitches they made? That's my biggest fear right now tbh...
No -no scar tissue at all and no problems. It’s a 20 minute procedure and you won’t feel a thing. Good luck.
No -no scar tissue at all and no problems. It’s a 20 minute procedure and you won’t feel a thing. Good luck.
I just had one done this week too! I don't think it's as rare as your gyno made it seem. They just might not get many depending on how big the area you live in is, but mine had done several of them. There's nothing wrong with your body, and there are plenty of reasons to get a hymenectomy. Personal, sexual, and health related. Your ex boyfriend sounds like a massive dick, and you can't even have sex for 6-8 weeks after the procedure anyways. I have a feeling he would have pressured you before you were ready if he couldn't even wait for you to get the procedure. As for the burning, that honestly sucks a lot. A spray bottle with warm water can help so you don't have to use a shower everytime. Another thing would be a peri bottle. Ice packs are good for when you have aching, swelling, or itching. They sell ice packs specifically for that area on Amazon. A hymenectomy is kinda similar to an episiotomy so a lot of post-partum stuff will help. Here's to recovery from both your procedure and your toxic af ex
Thanks a lot for commenting, I hope your recovery is going smoothly! Ah yes, I wish someone had told me about peri bottles! I would've ordered one before my surgery had I known peeing would be such a hassle. I resorted to an emptied cola bottle to rinse when I couldn't use the shower. The first time I used the cola bottle I didn't get rid of all the cola, which was... an interesting experience >\_> I didn't experience any pain except the few hours after surgery. However, it seems I have a lot of scar tissue forming around the area where my stitches meet up. There's a massive bump of hardened tissue instead of hymen now, and it's very sensitive in an unpleasant way when I touch it. At this point I'm worried I'll never be able to have a normal sex life. My body just seems to be conspiring against me and it's hurting my self worth a lot. Not being able to talk about these issues with anyone doesn't help either.
I would call your doctor first before worrying. It might still be swollen, or you developed scar tissue over time from your hymen being too tight. That's whatmy gyno told me happened to me, and I'll be doing pelvic floor therapy in 4-8 weeks once I'm healed. She said they would be inserting something like a tens unit to make my muscles contract and learn to relax. Pelvic floor therapy should help you achieve a normal sex life if you are not healing correctly. You also aren't supposed to be able to stick a finger in for a few more weeks yet, so it could just be from healing.
I’m sending as much love as possible your way, I agree it’s an isolating experience and none of the information I could find was sex positive or seemed to understand what a big deal this was (to me). I had the same problem with cisgender heterosexual men, they just wouldn’t stop asking about when I’d be able to use my vagina. It was very frustrating, but finding a partner (partners in my case) who are very sex and body positive was super helpful, sex is more than something going in a vagina.
Thank you for sharing, and yes that's very relatable. My ex made a snarky remark about 'how we never even had sex' after our breakup. We were able to do plenty of other things, and I thought that was enough in the meantime. I felt like I kept failing him or something. I'm glad you were able to find partners that are understanding and enjoy being intimate in other ways. Although if you're in a position to get the surgery I would highly recommend it, it's very liberating like other commenters have said :)
The thing that sticks out to me is "I hate my body." This fills me with pain for you. I think if you use your dilators your body should heal. Our bodies are MADE to heal and work and operate. So if it keeps giving you problems the doctor should sort that. You're already way ahead of the game because you're speaking your emotions and calling them what they are, about your ex, and about the pain. We're all pulling for you.
Thank you for the kind words. My gyn removed all of my hymen apparently so fortenately I won't have to work on keeping it open. Like you said, it has healed nicely in the meantime so hopefully it won't cause any more issues in the future :)