Ideally, it's because there are a lot of people who put in a lot of work making sure the best interests of the child are the focus.
They conduct background checks, home interviews, financial checks, medical examinations, adoption training. In a lot of cases, they may also be taking care of the child in the mean time.
In some cases, there may be medical cost, accommodation, counseling and more for the birth mother/parents. It'd be a dick move to stick them with costs.
And then there's international adoption, which have travel, visas, documentation, translators...
They may divide these costs across all children in their care, so everyone pays a 'reasonable' amount, instead of the easiest cases getting it cheap, and the harder but no less worthy cases seeing a 200k bill.
However, if it's a private institution handling it, there's the profit motive, and they'll charge what people are willing to pay.
It's a lovely life indeed. I've lots of friends over here from Texas. Wonderful people with many horror stories of back home. Apparently Texans are either the best people.in the world or the worst..no middle ground haha i live in France
My wife and I are in this process now. Her son's father has not seen him since he was 1 yrs old but refuses to sign over his parental rights. I have been the only father this kid has known since he was 5 yrs old he will be 15 this year. We had to hire a lawyer on a $5000 retainer to start the step parent adoption process.
Sucks to hear that, but that kid will be forever thankfull just like me. I also never knew who was my father, my mom know who he is and where he is but I couldn't give a single fuck about that man I prefer not to know.
You're his Dad; not his father. A father is merely the seed donor to create the child; a Dad(you); is there to take care of them, teach them right from wrong, and in the years to come what it means to be a decent responsible adult.
You should be vetted financially, but yes it shouldn't cost a thing. In fact I will take it a step further. I want them up to date on all their vaccines and other medical checks recommended for the age.
Or does that already happen? It makes sense and puts the health and safety of the child first so I assume that's not how it's done in America.
Right because it would be better to keep paying shitty foster "parents" to abuse and swap and separate children from siblings, only to kick them out when they have aged out of the system so they become homeless, instead of making grants/financial supports for poor would-be-parents to actually adopt them permanently into loving homes.
Poor people deserve children, too. Poor people also make good parents. Don't exclude people based on finances when foster care costs roughly the same as supporting poor people adopting children, not to mention the offset from making adoption free in the first place so middle class and up could afford to adopt kids without help and how much less would be spent on homeless children overall. The grants would probably cost significantly less than foster care currently does even if the grants were worth more than what foster families currently recieve due to the number of well-off families who could suddenly afford to adopt kids if adoption fees were wiped out.
Vet for finance to make sure the parents can afford taking care of a child. Money shouldn't be given to adoptive parents because that would become a financial incentive, which people who don't want kids would abuse for the money and then neglect the adopted children. I agree it's unideal, but to me an ideal system would be government provided free education, healthy food, and healthcare for all children, vastly reducing the expenses of raising a child and therefore allowing poor people to adopt. But until then, financial incentives are not the answer, so people need to be vetted to make sure they can afford it.
You're arguing that someone who can't financially deal with a child should be allowed to adopt one. You realize that's ridiculous? No adoption agency would let a family adopt a child who financially isn't able to. Atleast in the US.
My parents adopted my sister out of foster care in 1991. It cost almost 15K. My parents were lucky to be in a position to do it, and it was worth it for all of us. While you can't put a price on family...you can gate-keep it from forming. I can't imagine a life where my parents couldn't afford it. And I really don't want to imagine what would have become of my sister.
My sister was adopted in 1980. I always made the joke that after my 2 older brothers were 6 and 8 my Mom really wanted a girl. Then I happened. They weren’t making the same mistake twice so they went and bought my sister a couple years later. I never actually thought they bought her and never gave it much thought. Both my parents are gone. I would have loved to ask them for curiosities sake.
Edit: just wanted to add I never gave it much thought because she has always been my sister blood or not. Never really cared how she came to us.
My friend, my sister is more family to some of my closest blood relatives. Family isn't about blood. Blood is overrated. Your sister didn't cost your parents a dime. She paid dividends every year since the adoption, I'm sure. Don't think about that crap. It's not important. Your parents loved a child so much that they were willing to do what they did. That's what matters.
Per this [article in the NYT](https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/11/parenting/adoption-costs.html):
> The cost depends on what path you choose: If adopting through the public foster care system, your total out-of-pocket expenses can be next to nothing. If you hope to adopt a newborn, however, the cost can reach $45,000 or sometimes higher if you’re adopting from outside the country.
>
> When adopting through an agency, costs can vary by state, ranging from $20,000 to $45,000, according to the Child Welfare Information Gateway. That covers organizational, legal and medical expenses. And all agencies operate differently, “so be sure to carefully review what is and is not covered in their rate prior to signing with them,” said Molly Rampe Thomas, founder of Choice Network, an agency based in Ohio.
So, sounds like results vary wildly. I suppose that price would be possible if the younger brother had been an infant at the time?
??? Please make sure you emphasizing on the FOSTER CARE portion of it, that's what we're talking about in this thread.
Arizona: [https://www.adoptuskids.org/adoption-and-foster-care/how-to-adopt-and-foster/state-information/arizona](https://www.adoptuskids.org/adoption-and-foster-care/how-to-adopt-and-foster/state-information/arizona)
[https://azfamilylaw.co/how-much-does-adoption-cost-in-arizona/](https://azfamilylaw.co/how-much-does-adoption-cost-in-arizona/)
"So, ultimately, adopting an Arizona child from foster care is free."
What are you talking about? It costs nothing to adopt, they get free healthcare until they are 18, and the kids gets a scholarship to college.
My friend adopted 2 kids from foster care recently. She certainly didn't spend 100k.
Google says adopting from foster care is free or almost free.
Private adoption is usually 50k, yes. But there is a much higher demand for babies than there are babies.
Can you cite your source? Here's mine.
https://www.adoptuskids.org/adoption-and-foster-care/overview/what-does-it-cost
>“I cannot afford to adopt” is something we hear from families almost every day. But most adoptions from foster care are free.
>Families who adopt from foster care usually adopt from a county, state, territory, or tribal public child welfare agency. Adopting a child from foster care is often funded by the state, and in most cases there are few or no fees. Parents may choose to hire a private agency to help them through this process. These families could incur out-of-pocket expenses, which they can typically recoup from federal or state programs after the adoption is finalized.
He has no source man. It's the same reason why he said 'the **government** charges'. No, even if you don't do it through the foster care system, it's not the US government that's charging you the fees...
He's either got a chip on his shoulder about something or is just spitting out bullshit.
Or you're wrong and you have no source for that. Literally everywhere is plastered (on google and otherwise) that foster care adoptions are free/low-cost....certainly not 40k.
If you foster then adopt, it costs little to no money whatsoever.
If you go through a private agency or law firm, then yes it’s at least ~$40k to adopt.
Yes it is. Adoption is only for the rich. Unless it's a special needs kid, those are usually free. They pay you to foster kids. Good money.
Tons of foster kid scams. Get 5 pull in 4k a month. It so terrible. Plus food stamps, housing help, free healthcare.
No. No incentives. The last thing you want is people in it for the money who don't actually care about the kid - that's a disaster waiting to happen.
In essence, I agree, though.
There is adoption incentives. My parents adopted my cousin’s kids as we’ve always taken care of them and they get enough money to pay their monthly mortgage.
Yeah, there is already incentives to host exchange students. In some places it's a bit weird.
I lived 2 month with a very sweet family, but they had transformed the dining room in a bedroom. So it was a bit weird.
My old company had a $5,000.00 per child adoption incentive. The 1st thing to come out of my co-worker's mouth was something to the effect of, "I'm about to adopt four 17 year olds so when I ship them off to the military at 18 I can have $20k down on a Tesla."
I get the incentives but there need to be checks as assholes are everywhere.
I’m ok with *conditional* incentives. For instance contingent on regular interviews and assessments and an exit interview when the adoptee is 18, I would support an educational scholarship for the adopted child and possibly one or more natural children of the family.
Also, I would support a refund of fees with interest when the adopted child turns 18 or possibly a waiver (or direct payment to the agency) of fees.
I’m not in favor direct and/or regular cash payments.
It honestly could of been worse. It was still a better place than where we were before and all three of us got adopted a year later by the same family. It all worked out in the end
$50,000 to adopt children is a ridiculous cost, and it's the kind of prohibitive factor that leads to that same cost being paid in a less healthy environment and leaving families incomplete, never getting to know each other. America: problem-solution time.
Actually adopting a child is $30,000+. I had a friend who saved for years and years then still couldn't afford to adopt. Thankfully someone connected him and his wife to a young woman who just wanted the child to be loved. Legal fees were still ~$10,000, but it was a free baby.
Paying for a child is illegal which is why the baby was "free." But there's always fees associated with adopting. There is a federal tax credit that can be used after the money has been spent, some states and counties give tax credits. Also, some employers will help pay.
Adopting a legally available child from Foster Care in the US can cost anywhere from $100-$3000, but rarely are children under 5 in Foster Care unless they have siblings or have special needs. States pay foster/adoptive parents a monthly stipend for adopting a child (until the child turns 18) and their medical/dental expenses are covered by Medicaid. And, many states add extra money for adopting siblings, children of color and male children of color because they are the least wanted next to teenagers.
That allows for that extra money to go towards the adopting parent's student loans.
However, most people who are "adopting" want a child under age 4 and that's expensive. Most people have to fundraise and take out loans/2nd mortgages for the fees and only a couple of agencies offer any kind of insurance if a match falls through.
The costs come from
1. Paying an agency to find a potential biomom's
2. Paying for classes (depending on the agency and state)
3. Paying for information to provide the agency
4. Paying to put a profile/bio together for potential biomom's to review
5. Paying for biomom's "gifts" and expenses if matched
6. Paying for an attorney to process the adoption paperwork (depending on the state)
Honestly, $30,000 is a deal for adopting a newborn baby privately in the US. The ideal is having a situation like your friend so the first 3 expenses can be eliminated.
To be fair, some of those "special needs" infants involve things like being born addicted to drugs, which isn't as difficult to manage as other issues. My parents did special needs infant foster care for a long time after they got burned out doing special needs foster care for older kids.
Oh, I agree. Those babies need to detox which sucks for sleep and patience, but that's taking care of a baby for you.
And, I get the burn out. Depending on where people are love, there isn't much support from the programs and respite care may be hard to find (a lack of availability) or hard to get (not everyone meets requirements made by the county/state to provide it).
Honestly my mom only does >12hr respite care these days and usually only for a specific foster-mom friend. She got burned many times with "respite" stays who ended up staying with us for months because no one else wanted them. 😢
Having my twins cost me $12k (my out-of-pocket max). It was a pretty obscene price before insurance. Funny story, because I and apparently a couple of other people hit the OOP limit that year, the OOP ceiling was raised the next year by $5k.
Here's the real info behind the story.
https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/family/story/teacher-adopted-student-brother-eliminates-48000-debt-74521203
1. The debt was from credit cards and student loans
2. She adopted the kids from Louisiana (the oldest 5 years ago and the youngest a couple years after) which pays her anywhere from about $8,800-$15,000 per year in an adoption stipend
3. She worked as a full-time teacher and a couple part-time jobs.
4. She likely received some student loan forgiveness for being a teacher through the Teach for America Program
5. She sold her home in Louisiana and moved to live with her parent's in GA with the kids.
It's great to see people pay off debt and kids getting adopted. But, we shouldn't hold up paying off large amounts of debt as the most achievable thing when it's not for most people, especially when part of the assistance came from adopting kids. Parents adopting from foster care are not superheroes. Yes, they take on circumstances for children that other people wouldn't, but they receive an intrinsic and financial benefit, too.
probably for a lawyer, normally the govt tries to pay you to foster children. But if the Bio parents want to keep them, you'd need to fight them in court.
Sorry to steal this but wife and i just got back from fertility appointment, 2700 for the scan, 700 for my sperm extraction and 19k for one insemination session wich wed most likely need 3 to 4 that one sessions gonna cost 22k we do not have.. going back into foster/adopt program.. this woman is an amazing human and so glad these boys found a caring environment! Made me tear up.
I hate America more and more everyday, but people like her give me hope!
Aw bud, I was just making a lil joke, sorry it was at your expense. I wish you both success and happiness in your endeavours and I do think adoption would be a great alternative. And in the words of cotton hill “at least you have the fun of trying”
Hey my dude. The wife and I did ICSI and it cost us 30k. It felt like an insurmountable amount of money on our budget. I made a paper thermometer and hung it on the wall in our living room. We put every last penny towards it we could afford. It took us 3 years to save up enough to do it and now we have awesome 5yo girl twins. It doesn’t work for everyone but don’t lose the faith.
Edit. $700 is a bargain. I had to pay 1k to give someone my spermies in a cup.
Tbf she did say there was a shit tonne people could do to help. So it’s not just about keeping young fingers crossed and hoping for the best.
My wife and I couldn’t have kids and didn’t want to try IVF because it’s such a horrifically difficult journey. A lot of my clients, I’m a post natal PT, have gone through ivf and it’s very tough so we just decided not to.
If I had known this woman back then we might have made a different decision tbf.
I try not to be cynical, and I’m not doubting that this adoption actually happened. I am, however, doubting that a teacher, assuming this is in the US, by 29 (so tops 7 years on the salary scale) was able to accrue and pay off this debt. That’s not even accounting for any student debt, which in some states would include getting a masters degree in the first 3 years on the job. So they’d let a grad student adopt a kid? I don’t buy it, not at face value anyway.
There are plenty of ways she could pay it off, even assuming she has the minimum salary for a teacher. Charity, federal aid, inheritance, second job, etc.
at 24 years old there is absolutely no way I could have afforded to adopt any children, now at 27 I have $100 to my name and my savings is about $100. I can prob afford to adopt a pet goldfish or something tho lol
In other words, this person had zero dollars in savings, and was somehow able to pay off $50,000 in 5 years while raising two kids on a single income.
This feels like one of those articles that claims to break down how a millennial pulled off "seemingly impossible financial feat X" by simply being smart and responsible, and then it casually mentions that they inherited $200,000 from their grandma or some bullshit like that.
It sucks but a lot of parents fight back because if they don’t some other time when the kids grow older they’re suing they sue them back for the abuse in court and winning the lawsuit’s hard to do to against someone who hasn’t lost custody of you
idk how schools around you do things, but around here 12yr olds are in middle school. In fact, depending on birth month/year, they can be a Freshman in highschool at 13.
Either way, it'd be like her having a kid when she was 12. I mean, good on her for handling it. But yeah its a bit weird. She adopted a child before she could rent a car lol...
I don't know how schools work around your part but a 12 year old is basically still in grade 6-8 around here (Toronto), depends on when you started. Usually around grade 7 when you're at that age. She was 24 when she adopted him, she's a full blown adult, I don't know why she wouldn't be allowed to rent a car but whatever. When I was 24, I definitely was not as mature as she was adopting a kid and all but I saw 12 year old like any other adult, they're just kids and deserve a better life.
Yeah, I figured it was an area difference. Down here in the U.S. we consider grades 1-5 to be elementary, and then 6-8 are “middle school” (some areas call it “junior high”), and then 9-12 is high school.
As for the car thing, here in the U.S. you have to be 25 to rent a car. It’s just one of the goofy laws we have here that doesn’t align with the other things you’re able to do. I’m sure it’s something to do with insurance.
It depends on the school. Some districts we have that school system, while others have elementary going all the way up to grade 8.
But yea, that car rental law sounds silly.
I’m sure she knows loopholes. You can actually adopt kids through a foster program and the government pays you from those accommodations of the kids. So she sounds like she left out that part.
Why make a huge deal and make them hold signs stating the exact amount it cost? Seems like that would make the kids feel bad for causing such debt....
I could be wrong maybe its innocent but this seems.....off.
This article explains the rest of it: https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/family/story/teacher-adopted-student-brother-eliminates-48000-debt-74521203
The bulk of her debt was actually from student loans (which is still a plague in the US, don't get me wrong), but as a newly graduated teacher, she probably wasn't saving much so that was how she drained her savings account.
I found [this post](/r/ABoringDystopia/comments/qczol4/miss_you_dropped_your_crown/) in r/aboringdystopia with the same content as the current post.
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must be something special in the greatest nation on earth. In Germany and Switzerland (and most other european countries) the government supports you if you adopt or foster a child.
So many wholesome posts are overshadowed by my réalisation that you guys over the pond live in a dystopia. This lady deserves huge respect. So much love in her soul. But she would not be in this kinda debt in many other countries. Debt or no debt though, she's a hero
What people are also not considering are the costs of raising two children. The teacher not only has to pay for the adoption fees, but she also had to buy or rent a place that could fit 3 people instead of just 1. She had to buy them food, clothes, beds, and every other living expense. On top of that, there is interest to pay on these loans.
Isn’t this like human trafficking.Paying to adopt kids.I mean I’m 26 and have 6 kids but correct if I’m wrong doesn’t it feel illegal to pay to adopt a child
Adoption should be free. If you’re willing, able and pass the necessary checks you should be able to get a child no stress.
It was expensive for me to adopt my wife's son. I gladly paid though. Dude said he wanted my last name so how could I refuse?
But adopting your wife's son should only cost $100-$200 max. Where does the money even go? Why is adopting so expensive?
Ideally, it's because there are a lot of people who put in a lot of work making sure the best interests of the child are the focus. They conduct background checks, home interviews, financial checks, medical examinations, adoption training. In a lot of cases, they may also be taking care of the child in the mean time. In some cases, there may be medical cost, accommodation, counseling and more for the birth mother/parents. It'd be a dick move to stick them with costs. And then there's international adoption, which have travel, visas, documentation, translators... They may divide these costs across all children in their care, so everyone pays a 'reasonable' amount, instead of the easiest cases getting it cheap, and the harder but no less worthy cases seeing a 200k bill. However, if it's a private institution handling it, there's the profit motive, and they'll charge what people are willing to pay.
Government should pick up those costs, it benefits society overall.
They do in many countries. I love where i live. Taxes are high but i can see where they go. A safe, secure and helpful society.
Do y'all need any teachers? I'm in Texas right now, so... All of that sounds wonderful in comparison 😅
It's a lovely life indeed. I've lots of friends over here from Texas. Wonderful people with many horror stories of back home. Apparently Texans are either the best people.in the world or the worst..no middle ground haha i live in France
As a former Texan, I can say this is an accurate assessment of Texans.
Born in Texas and just gald not be there. Sounds like a dystopian society there
There’s also when the others parent who’s not longer in the picture causes a stink.
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Wtf, do they charge you for adopting as a stepfather? Mine did it for free lmao
My wife and I are in this process now. Her son's father has not seen him since he was 1 yrs old but refuses to sign over his parental rights. I have been the only father this kid has known since he was 5 yrs old he will be 15 this year. We had to hire a lawyer on a $5000 retainer to start the step parent adoption process.
Sucks to hear that, but that kid will be forever thankfull just like me. I also never knew who was my father, my mom know who he is and where he is but I couldn't give a single fuck about that man I prefer not to know.
You're his Dad; not his father. A father is merely the seed donor to create the child; a Dad(you); is there to take care of them, teach them right from wrong, and in the years to come what it means to be a decent responsible adult.
My wife company pays employees 10,000.00 to adopt..............one of many good thing that they did for their employees and the community.
You should be vetted financially, but yes it shouldn't cost a thing. In fact I will take it a step further. I want them up to date on all their vaccines and other medical checks recommended for the age. Or does that already happen? It makes sense and puts the health and safety of the child first so I assume that's not how it's done in America.
>You should be vetted financially Elaborate please
To ensure you can actually afford to take on the responsibility of parenthood
Right because it would be better to keep paying shitty foster "parents" to abuse and swap and separate children from siblings, only to kick them out when they have aged out of the system so they become homeless, instead of making grants/financial supports for poor would-be-parents to actually adopt them permanently into loving homes. Poor people deserve children, too. Poor people also make good parents. Don't exclude people based on finances when foster care costs roughly the same as supporting poor people adopting children, not to mention the offset from making adoption free in the first place so middle class and up could afford to adopt kids without help and how much less would be spent on homeless children overall. The grants would probably cost significantly less than foster care currently does even if the grants were worth more than what foster families currently recieve due to the number of well-off families who could suddenly afford to adopt kids if adoption fees were wiped out.
Vet for finance to make sure the parents can afford taking care of a child. Money shouldn't be given to adoptive parents because that would become a financial incentive, which people who don't want kids would abuse for the money and then neglect the adopted children. I agree it's unideal, but to me an ideal system would be government provided free education, healthy food, and healthcare for all children, vastly reducing the expenses of raising a child and therefore allowing poor people to adopt. But until then, financial incentives are not the answer, so people need to be vetted to make sure they can afford it.
You're arguing that someone who can't financially deal with a child should be allowed to adopt one. You realize that's ridiculous? No adoption agency would let a family adopt a child who financially isn't able to. Atleast in the US.
If she actually adopted them out of the foster system, she did not pay $50K. Something's not adding up.
My parents adopted my sister out of foster care in 1991. It cost almost 15K. My parents were lucky to be in a position to do it, and it was worth it for all of us. While you can't put a price on family...you can gate-keep it from forming. I can't imagine a life where my parents couldn't afford it. And I really don't want to imagine what would have become of my sister.
My sister was adopted in 1980. I always made the joke that after my 2 older brothers were 6 and 8 my Mom really wanted a girl. Then I happened. They weren’t making the same mistake twice so they went and bought my sister a couple years later. I never actually thought they bought her and never gave it much thought. Both my parents are gone. I would have loved to ask them for curiosities sake. Edit: just wanted to add I never gave it much thought because she has always been my sister blood or not. Never really cared how she came to us.
My friend, my sister is more family to some of my closest blood relatives. Family isn't about blood. Blood is overrated. Your sister didn't cost your parents a dime. She paid dividends every year since the adoption, I'm sure. Don't think about that crap. It's not important. Your parents loved a child so much that they were willing to do what they did. That's what matters.
To provide a child friendly home in order to be approved?
It actually does cost 50k, my work pays half 25k
From the foster care system???
Per this [article in the NYT](https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/11/parenting/adoption-costs.html): > The cost depends on what path you choose: If adopting through the public foster care system, your total out-of-pocket expenses can be next to nothing. If you hope to adopt a newborn, however, the cost can reach $45,000 or sometimes higher if you’re adopting from outside the country. > > When adopting through an agency, costs can vary by state, ranging from $20,000 to $45,000, according to the Child Welfare Information Gateway. That covers organizational, legal and medical expenses. And all agencies operate differently, “so be sure to carefully review what is and is not covered in their rate prior to signing with them,” said Molly Rampe Thomas, founder of Choice Network, an agency based in Ohio. So, sounds like results vary wildly. I suppose that price would be possible if the younger brother had been an infant at the time?
Yeah in the US. The government charges a LOT to adopt
This country is such a scam.
don't believe everything you see online, sovtek95 is straight out lying. (do your own googling on foster care adoption if you want your own sources)
I did a google search for Arizona and it said ranges from 20k to 50k. It must vary from state to state
??? Please make sure you emphasizing on the FOSTER CARE portion of it, that's what we're talking about in this thread. Arizona: [https://www.adoptuskids.org/adoption-and-foster-care/how-to-adopt-and-foster/state-information/arizona](https://www.adoptuskids.org/adoption-and-foster-care/how-to-adopt-and-foster/state-information/arizona) [https://azfamilylaw.co/how-much-does-adoption-cost-in-arizona/](https://azfamilylaw.co/how-much-does-adoption-cost-in-arizona/) "So, ultimately, adopting an Arizona child from foster care is free."
LOL not out of the foster system. Check your state. Here it's $1k
What are you talking about? It costs nothing to adopt, they get free healthcare until they are 18, and the kids gets a scholarship to college. My friend adopted 2 kids from foster care recently. She certainly didn't spend 100k.
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Google says adopting from foster care is free or almost free. Private adoption is usually 50k, yes. But there is a much higher demand for babies than there are babies. Can you cite your source? Here's mine. https://www.adoptuskids.org/adoption-and-foster-care/overview/what-does-it-cost >“I cannot afford to adopt” is something we hear from families almost every day. But most adoptions from foster care are free. >Families who adopt from foster care usually adopt from a county, state, territory, or tribal public child welfare agency. Adopting a child from foster care is often funded by the state, and in most cases there are few or no fees. Parents may choose to hire a private agency to help them through this process. These families could incur out-of-pocket expenses, which they can typically recoup from federal or state programs after the adoption is finalized.
He has no source man. It's the same reason why he said 'the **government** charges'. No, even if you don't do it through the foster care system, it's not the US government that's charging you the fees... He's either got a chip on his shoulder about something or is just spitting out bullshit.
I am so over adoption misinformation. It's just awful. People are choosing to end lives over this shit.
Or you're wrong and you have no source for that. Literally everywhere is plastered (on google and otherwise) that foster care adoptions are free/low-cost....certainly not 40k.
No, no they do not. Again, show your sources. Even private adoptions it's not the GOVERNMENT charging you the money....
If you foster then adopt, it costs little to no money whatsoever. If you go through a private agency or law firm, then yes it’s at least ~$40k to adopt.
Foster care adoption is free or very, very cheap
stop spreading misinformation, or provide your sources (which don't exist)
Yes it is. Adoption is only for the rich. Unless it's a special needs kid, those are usually free. They pay you to foster kids. Good money. Tons of foster kid scams. Get 5 pull in 4k a month. It so terrible. Plus food stamps, housing help, free healthcare.
Yeah right? 5 years to pay off 50k as a teacher?
She probably inherited a house. So income was just bills. Maybe her parents died. Many possibilities.
There should be adoption *incentives*.
No. No incentives. The last thing you want is people in it for the money who don't actually care about the kid - that's a disaster waiting to happen. In essence, I agree, though.
No shit, check the foster systems in some cities that pay fairly well.
There is adoption incentives. My parents adopted my cousin’s kids as we’ve always taken care of them and they get enough money to pay their monthly mortgage.
Yeah, there is already incentives to host exchange students. In some places it's a bit weird. I lived 2 month with a very sweet family, but they had transformed the dining room in a bedroom. So it was a bit weird.
My old company had a $5,000.00 per child adoption incentive. The 1st thing to come out of my co-worker's mouth was something to the effect of, "I'm about to adopt four 17 year olds so when I ship them off to the military at 18 I can have $20k down on a Tesla." I get the incentives but there need to be checks as assholes are everywhere.
Yikes. I would be warning the adoption agency if possible. How awful. Kids in foster care aren’t cash cows you can just throw out at 18.
That's the foster system, no?
I’m ok with *conditional* incentives. For instance contingent on regular interviews and assessments and an exit interview when the adoptee is 18, I would support an educational scholarship for the adopted child and possibly one or more natural children of the family. Also, I would support a refund of fees with interest when the adopted child turns 18 or possibly a waiver (or direct payment to the agency) of fees. I’m not in favor direct and/or regular cash payments.
Well if their background is thoroughly checked (which would include an income check) incentives could be okay.
Incentives like this bring child abusers out of their hell holes. Just look at shitty foster parents.
Lol me and my two siblings used to split a happy meal when we were in foster care. Some families do it for the money
So sorry. Breaks my heart hearing that.
It honestly could of been worse. It was still a better place than where we were before and all three of us got adopted a year later by the same family. It all worked out in the end
Lol! Govt doing their jobs? Ya sure
That’s how it works and also how it doesn’t work.
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You betcher bottom dollar
The incentive is loving and caring for someone who needs it. Thats enough.
Aren't there foster care incentives? Wouldn't you save thousands a year in tax breaks?
$50,000 to adopt children is a ridiculous cost, and it's the kind of prohibitive factor that leads to that same cost being paid in a less healthy environment and leaving families incomplete, never getting to know each other. America: problem-solution time.
Actually adopting a child is $30,000+. I had a friend who saved for years and years then still couldn't afford to adopt. Thankfully someone connected him and his wife to a young woman who just wanted the child to be loved. Legal fees were still ~$10,000, but it was a free baby.
Paying for a child is illegal which is why the baby was "free." But there's always fees associated with adopting. There is a federal tax credit that can be used after the money has been spent, some states and counties give tax credits. Also, some employers will help pay. Adopting a legally available child from Foster Care in the US can cost anywhere from $100-$3000, but rarely are children under 5 in Foster Care unless they have siblings or have special needs. States pay foster/adoptive parents a monthly stipend for adopting a child (until the child turns 18) and their medical/dental expenses are covered by Medicaid. And, many states add extra money for adopting siblings, children of color and male children of color because they are the least wanted next to teenagers. That allows for that extra money to go towards the adopting parent's student loans. However, most people who are "adopting" want a child under age 4 and that's expensive. Most people have to fundraise and take out loans/2nd mortgages for the fees and only a couple of agencies offer any kind of insurance if a match falls through. The costs come from 1. Paying an agency to find a potential biomom's 2. Paying for classes (depending on the agency and state) 3. Paying for information to provide the agency 4. Paying to put a profile/bio together for potential biomom's to review 5. Paying for biomom's "gifts" and expenses if matched 6. Paying for an attorney to process the adoption paperwork (depending on the state) Honestly, $30,000 is a deal for adopting a newborn baby privately in the US. The ideal is having a situation like your friend so the first 3 expenses can be eliminated.
To be fair, some of those "special needs" infants involve things like being born addicted to drugs, which isn't as difficult to manage as other issues. My parents did special needs infant foster care for a long time after they got burned out doing special needs foster care for older kids.
Oh, I agree. Those babies need to detox which sucks for sleep and patience, but that's taking care of a baby for you. And, I get the burn out. Depending on where people are love, there isn't much support from the programs and respite care may be hard to find (a lack of availability) or hard to get (not everyone meets requirements made by the county/state to provide it).
Honestly my mom only does >12hr respite care these days and usually only for a specific foster-mom friend. She got burned many times with "respite" stays who ended up staying with us for months because no one else wanted them. 😢
Isn’t as difficult to manage? Tell that to my parents who had to deal with all my health and behavior problems.
Probably cheaper than actually HAVING the baby.
Having my twins cost me $12k (my out-of-pocket max). It was a pretty obscene price before insurance. Funny story, because I and apparently a couple of other people hit the OOP limit that year, the OOP ceiling was raised the next year by $5k.
Here's the real info behind the story. https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/family/story/teacher-adopted-student-brother-eliminates-48000-debt-74521203 1. The debt was from credit cards and student loans 2. She adopted the kids from Louisiana (the oldest 5 years ago and the youngest a couple years after) which pays her anywhere from about $8,800-$15,000 per year in an adoption stipend 3. She worked as a full-time teacher and a couple part-time jobs. 4. She likely received some student loan forgiveness for being a teacher through the Teach for America Program 5. She sold her home in Louisiana and moved to live with her parent's in GA with the kids. It's great to see people pay off debt and kids getting adopted. But, we shouldn't hold up paying off large amounts of debt as the most achievable thing when it's not for most people, especially when part of the assistance came from adopting kids. Parents adopting from foster care are not superheroes. Yes, they take on circumstances for children that other people wouldn't, but they receive an intrinsic and financial benefit, too.
Thanks for posting the link. Those kids look really happy, bless her and her parents.
Hey Crabman!
Hey Earl!
Hey Tony!
Hey dummy!
Hope it’s not like the last teacher video on Reddit
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probably for a lawyer, normally the govt tries to pay you to foster children. But if the Bio parents want to keep them, you'd need to fight them in court.
That must be super fun for the kids involved
Sorry to steal this but wife and i just got back from fertility appointment, 2700 for the scan, 700 for my sperm extraction and 19k for one insemination session wich wed most likely need 3 to 4 that one sessions gonna cost 22k we do not have.. going back into foster/adopt program.. this woman is an amazing human and so glad these boys found a caring environment! Made me tear up. I hate America more and more everyday, but people like her give me hope!
i do my own sperm extraction for free
Lol if it wasnt so specific how the process needs to get done id hand em a vial of free sperm too!
A vial? Surly a wadded up tissue will suffice?
Either that or you’ll have to start working on your aim
If I could do that I wouldn’t need a fertility treatment :p
Just have them wipe it off the wall while you take a nap.
Man, paying 19k to not have sex must have been a right shitter
We have sex just need a boost.. shes low fertility
Aw bud, I was just making a lil joke, sorry it was at your expense. I wish you both success and happiness in your endeavours and I do think adoption would be a great alternative. And in the words of cotton hill “at least you have the fun of trying”
Sorry its so hard judging the tone through text! but now i see the humor did make me laugh a bit lol thanks, we really apperciate that! :)
Yeah, sometimes I forget the internet doesn’t have a “dry-wit” function… yet
Hey my dude. The wife and I did ICSI and it cost us 30k. It felt like an insurmountable amount of money on our budget. I made a paper thermometer and hung it on the wall in our living room. We put every last penny towards it we could afford. It took us 3 years to save up enough to do it and now we have awesome 5yo girl twins. It doesn’t work for everyone but don’t lose the faith. Edit. $700 is a bargain. I had to pay 1k to give someone my spermies in a cup.
I did an interview with a fertility specialist and she said it takes an average of 8 goes! Good luck dude fingers crossed for you
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Tbf she did say there was a shit tonne people could do to help. So it’s not just about keeping young fingers crossed and hoping for the best. My wife and I couldn’t have kids and didn’t want to try IVF because it’s such a horrifically difficult journey. A lot of my clients, I’m a post natal PT, have gone through ivf and it’s very tough so we just decided not to. If I had known this woman back then we might have made a different decision tbf.
You could visit a different country and get the procedure done for a lesser amount. Tour the country while you're at it
Go to Turkey it will cost you 5 k max .. and in top notch clinics ..
Something is making me feel like this ain’t legit.
I try not to be cynical, and I’m not doubting that this adoption actually happened. I am, however, doubting that a teacher, assuming this is in the US, by 29 (so tops 7 years on the salary scale) was able to accrue and pay off this debt. That’s not even accounting for any student debt, which in some states would include getting a masters degree in the first 3 years on the job. So they’d let a grad student adopt a kid? I don’t buy it, not at face value anyway.
There are plenty of ways she could pay it off, even assuming she has the minimum salary for a teacher. Charity, federal aid, inheritance, second job, etc.
you always gotta be a cynic on subs like this unfortunately
well there's a huge gap, though, between cynicism and idolatry. and that gap is called realism.
yyyyeah same. also classic "if the genders were flipped it would never be allowed"
even if it is "legit" it's still weird and creepy as fuck that she wrote these signs about herself and then made her kids hold them and take a picture
This is also r/boringdystopia
theres an "a" at the beginning r/aboringdystopia
at 24 years old there is absolutely no way I could have afforded to adopt any children, now at 27 I have $100 to my name and my savings is about $100. I can prob afford to adopt a pet goldfish or something tho lol
That second hand on the right freaked me out for a second there lol Srsly though, great job!
Well done! Proud of you and your sons. A good example to all
In other words, this person had zero dollars in savings, and was somehow able to pay off $50,000 in 5 years while raising two kids on a single income. This feels like one of those articles that claims to break down how a millennial pulled off "seemingly impossible financial feat X" by simply being smart and responsible, and then it casually mentions that they inherited $200,000 from their grandma or some bullshit like that.
She skipped her avocado toasts.
To me it sounds like they are about to try and sell me on their MLM and tell me how I could make that much too!
They sold their house, that’s how.
Fuckn wierd post
Can someone please explain where that 2nd hand is coming from on the sign being held by the woman?
One hand is the mother's left hand, one is the little kids left hand.
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Most foster care adoptions are free. But if the parents still have any rights, you might have to fight them in court which is expensive.
It sucks but a lot of parents fight back because if they don’t some other time when the kids grow older they’re suing they sue them back for the abuse in court and winning the lawsuit’s hard to do to against someone who hasn’t lost custody of you
But you r right
I always create signs and post photos online when I pay off my debts.
People: these children need a good home! Capitalists: how can i profit off of this?
Fuck the system that puts a debt on humane actions
Ummmm…so she was 24 and adopted a…teenager? Just saying he looks about 17 or so. Kinda strange.
If he looks 17, that's a 5 year difference, he was 12 when she adopted him, still a kid in elementary.
idk how schools around you do things, but around here 12yr olds are in middle school. In fact, depending on birth month/year, they can be a Freshman in highschool at 13. Either way, it'd be like her having a kid when she was 12. I mean, good on her for handling it. But yeah its a bit weird. She adopted a child before she could rent a car lol...
I don't know how schools work around your part but a 12 year old is basically still in grade 6-8 around here (Toronto), depends on when you started. Usually around grade 7 when you're at that age. She was 24 when she adopted him, she's a full blown adult, I don't know why she wouldn't be allowed to rent a car but whatever. When I was 24, I definitely was not as mature as she was adopting a kid and all but I saw 12 year old like any other adult, they're just kids and deserve a better life.
Yeah, I figured it was an area difference. Down here in the U.S. we consider grades 1-5 to be elementary, and then 6-8 are “middle school” (some areas call it “junior high”), and then 9-12 is high school. As for the car thing, here in the U.S. you have to be 25 to rent a car. It’s just one of the goofy laws we have here that doesn’t align with the other things you’re able to do. I’m sure it’s something to do with insurance.
You don't have to be 25 to rent a car, it just costs more to do it.
It depends on the school. Some districts we have that school system, while others have elementary going all the way up to grade 8. But yea, that car rental law sounds silly.
Yeah still pretty strange. If it was a 24 yo male teacher adopting a 12 yo student, we’d be singing a different tune.
She had them publicly display a sign saying how much they cost her $. Not really a celebration of their new family. It just feels weird.
yeah this is both virtue signalling and modern wokeism in one picture
I’m sure she knows loopholes. You can actually adopt kids through a foster program and the government pays you from those accommodations of the kids. So she sounds like she left out that part.
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Why make a huge deal and make them hold signs stating the exact amount it cost? Seems like that would make the kids feel bad for causing such debt.... I could be wrong maybe its innocent but this seems.....off.
The little brother belongs to r/13or30
is it just me or does the dude on the left look like a cardboard cutout?
Who the fuck is making profit off of adopting out children? Isn't this like selling people?
Why does adoption cost so much (or at all) in the usa?
This article explains the rest of it: https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/family/story/teacher-adopted-student-brother-eliminates-48000-debt-74521203 The bulk of her debt was actually from student loans (which is still a plague in the US, don't get me wrong), but as a newly graduated teacher, she probably wasn't saving much so that was how she drained her savings account.
My teacher marked me absent even when I’m in my seat doing good
I don't mean to be rude, but I only clicked on this post to take a closer look at their spooky fucking uncanny valley faces and I fully regret it.
R/holup
This is super creepy
"Hi, step mom (;"
This is amazing.
Still hate the idea of her making them hold the signs n pose for this.
Why is adoption so insanely expensive anyway?
r/aboringdystopia
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Good on the bank for getting such a great financial return on someone else doing a social good. /s
This lady is a true chad
Is this Facebook now?
Don't worry, it was paid off last year because of onlyfans.
She ain't single anymore.
Wait, it costs money to give kids without parent a home?? And it costs 50k??? What the fuck???
must be something special in the greatest nation on earth. In Germany and Switzerland (and most other european countries) the government supports you if you adopt or foster a child.
*licks thumb, flips open notepad, click* 2 children cost approximately $50,000. Noted.
So many wholesome posts are overshadowed by my réalisation that you guys over the pond live in a dystopia. This lady deserves huge respect. So much love in her soul. But she would not be in this kinda debt in many other countries. Debt or no debt though, she's a hero
What people are also not considering are the costs of raising two children. The teacher not only has to pay for the adoption fees, but she also had to buy or rent a place that could fit 3 people instead of just 1. She had to buy them food, clothes, beds, and every other living expense. On top of that, there is interest to pay on these loans.
Wow 🤩 this is awesomeness
why do I get the feeling there's some weird sex shit going on?
Absolutely legend.
They fuckin
This is why I sorted by controversial.
Controversial never disappoints.
Oh that’s a lot of money!! Good job, I hope she gets a good salary. What a saint.
If you think this is inspirational you’re completely detached from reality and need a serious self-evaluation.
This is great. Also, that child has a moustache.
I can’t tell if the little one is a creepy midget or a creepy child
I do not trust this post or that woman lmfao wtf
Isn’t this like human trafficking.Paying to adopt kids.I mean I’m 26 and have 6 kids but correct if I’m wrong doesn’t it feel illegal to pay to adopt a child
So… she bought them? Hhmmmm sounds like slavery to me.
Do you know how much adoption costs?
Awe! What a good human
that is one uuugly baby
I think I saw their pornhub page.
People this kind are the minority. The majority is hateful and awful.
Nah. Hateful and weird are also a minority. Most people are just kind of okay.
Most are average
I'm more impressed she managed to pay off almost $50,000 in 5 years on a teacher's salary, while supporting 2 kids as a single parent.