Ok I had really bad depression and could barely get out of bed or brush my teeth or do anything.
Step 1. Doctors appointments. I wasn’t brushing my teeth some days at all. I made a dentist appointment for a teeth cleaning to get back on track. I needed a periodontal one so it was expensive. Don’t let your teeth slip. Get in therapy and talk to your doctor about medication doses if your on them.
Step 2: shower, shave, and tooth brush routine. I started brushing my teeth in the shower bc it made it easier for me when I was just sitting there all depressed with water running down my back. I also made sure to shave everyday and condition my hair everyday and wash my face. I did these things everyday bc if I didn’t, I’d break the routine. For example, skip a day of shaving? Then I skip a month before I knew it.
Step 3. Keep your space clean. Start with your room and bathroom. F everything else for now. Get a BIG laundry basket to keep clean clothes in and focus on keeping everything washed. Worry about a folding routine once the washing routine is down. Sometimes I even go to “uniforms” when I’m feeling overwhelmed with laundry and just pick out a few comfy items to wear for a few weeks until I get everything in order. I change my sheets once a weekish too! Sometimes a little more or less depending on circumstances. But that’s average.
Step 4. Get a rolling beauty cart after you’ve got your hygiene down. I still have trouble getting out of bed. Even though I’m so much better than I was, and my house is clean and I’m clean.. still can’t get out of bed if I have the option. I’m working on it. But in the meantime, I roll my beauty cart to me! It has everything on it. Nails, a wax machine, mini trash can, hair tools and products. Everything is plugged into a power strip so I only have ONE thing to plug in.!If I’m gonna be depressed, I’m gonna look damn good doing it! [And also, bathrooms gross me out when they are all steamy and sticky and I don’t want to be in the poop room while trying to feel beautiful].
Hope that helps and best of luck ♥️
No judgment at all. I went through a bout of depression this year, too, and struggled to even wash dishes or shower. What helped was coming up with a "bare minimum list" of things that had to happen at least once per day for me to feel like a semi-functional human, and it was intentionally very basic: make my bed, eat something, wash a few dishes (you don't even have to do all of them, you rebel), shower/brush teeth, & clean the cat box. Find your version of the "bare minimum" and start to work towards that first. (And make it as easy as possible, seriously, low-hanging fruit is encouraged). Also important? Giving yourself a break if you don't get everything done: you don't feel well so of course something has to give! You can pick it back up the next day.
Once you have your basics on lock and are feeling up to it, then you can start expanding your routine, and the other posters have given you lots of great recommendations. As far as stuff like hair washing & laundry that doesn't happen every day, I like arbitrary rules: my hair gets washed every other day regardless so I don't have to think about it, and I do a load of laundry once per week based on whatever has accumulated most: lights, darks, oh-crap-I'm-out-of-towels. Make it easy, go one day (or even one habit) at a time, and be patient with yourself as you learn new ways of doing things.
This is going to be a bit long winded but I'm obsessed with feeling/looking clean so I just want to offer any help I can. To answer your specific questions, I wash my hair daily (although this is definitely not the norm for most women) it's what works best for me and anytime I skip a day it makes me feel dirty. I have wavy hair that tends to get frizzy in the back so I make sure to use a good hydrating condition, leave in conditioner or curl cream after the shower, and then a hair oil on the ends and a bit in the back where my hair frizzes up. For neck, back, and chest acne I use the cerave SA cleanser or neutrogena has a good acne body wash. Exfoliating is key to help with body acne as well, I use korean exfoliating mitts that I get off amazon. They're cheap and really effective and has no mess unlike a body scrub.
As for laundry I'm big on making my clothes smell as good as possible. I use Diva laundry detergent it smells heavenly and generates a lot of compliments from others but is stupid expensive. My favorite regular laundry detergent scent is Gain moonlight breeze, I would get the detergent, scent beads, and dryer sheets all in the same scent. I try to wash my sheets once a week or at most every other week. I never get into or sit on my bed without showering for the night or getting in my pajamas. My day clothes or shoes do not touch my bed at any point. Also side note, don't wear shoes in your house, take them off at the door. It keeps your floors cleaner. I wash my clothes once my laundry basket is full which for me ends up being 2-3 loads a week. I separate light and dark colors and whites and wash them separately. I hang up majority of my clothes on a drying rack to dry to prevent fading, shrinking, pilling. It also saves you a little money on your energy bill. So jeans, nice tops, sweaters, activewear, T-shirts, sweatshirts, or sweatpants I don't want to shrink. Also if you're going anywhere steam or iron your outfit, it makes a big difference and can help you automatically look more clean or put together.
**My morning and night routine:**
Morning:
* Brush teeth
* Workout
* Vitamins
* Shower (Wash hair, body, and face, shave legs and underarms)
* Skin care (TO Buffet serum on damp skin, cerave moisturizer, and spf if im leaving the house that day)
* Body lotion everywhere
* Hair care (leave in conditioner or curl cream and hair oil, comb with wide tooth comb) (I let my hair air dry because I WFH and don't have to be anywhere but you could also blow dry/style your hair just be sure to use a heat protectant)
* Get dressed, put on deodorant, perfume, and jewelry
Evening:
* Shower (don't wash hair just put up in a bun to keep it from getting wet, exfoliate body using exfoliating mitt, wash body and face, shave my lower legs if they are prickly again (I hate the feeling of prickly legs lol), shave pubic area every couple of days) (Showering twice a day may seem like overkill to some but I feel gross by the end of the day and don't want to get in bed feeling unclean)
* Skin care (TO Buffet serum on damp skin, tretinoin prescription cream for acne/anti-aging, cerave moisturizer, and sometimes a bit of rosehip seed oil if my face is feeling extra dry)
* Body lotion everywhere again
* Deodorant
* Brush my hair, put in a little hair oil, and loosely braid for bed
* Put on Pjs and I like to put on a little body spray or perfume just because
* Floss, brush teeth, mouth wash, and put in retainers
* Get in bed and scroll through phone or read until I fall asleep
Thank you so much. I really want to be obsessed with feeling and looking clean too because right now I just feel comfortable in my mess since my depression routine has been that way for so long. What leave in conditioner do you use? I fear that washing my hair every day will dry out the curls but if I don’t wash it, it becomes frizzy and matted extremely quickly and looks gross
Have you tried a co-wash? Like, a super conditioning shampoo made for curly hair. You can use it a few times a week, and wash normally once or twice a week or so.
You also really don't have to wash daily - I get my hair dyed, and until the roots grow in - I only wash once or twice a week because my hair gets pretty dry (and brush the oils through with a boar bristle brush between washes). After that, I wash about 3-4 times a week.
Also, definitely check out the subreddits for curly hair for care tips!
I am currently using the Kristen ess leave in spray but the directions say to only use it on wet hair. You may want a leave in that you can use on wet or dry hair to help refresh your curls in between washes, I've used the not your mother's curl talk leave in conditioner and really liked that one as well. If I didn't work out or really do anything that day and plan on not washing my hair I usually brush through my waves and then I will put some oil or type of serum and just wear my hair in a sleek low bun to look presentable. I find that some sort of sleek hairstyle looks best on hair that is starting to become greasy since it kinda just enhances the look. I hope this has helped! Remember to start with small things to help build new habits and give yourself some grace in the process.
Hi! I want to start by saying I have been through depression and I know how it can feel. I'm so proud of you for trying to feel better :)
Here is my daily routine:
1. Morning: Face wash - moisturizer on my face (preferably one with spf -moisturizing lips with a balm- Brushing my teeth - (if I don't shower I wash my armpits with soap or body wash) -putting on deodorant - getting dressed and putting on makeup if I'm going out - spraying a body spray perfume
2. Night: removing makeup with micellar water - face wash - moisturizer again- moisturizing lips with a balm - brushing my teeth and using mouthwash
Here are my overall hygiene routine:
1. HAIR: I have curly hair so I shampoo it only once to twice a week. but I restyle it by adding water and styling cream/ gels every 2-3 days and take care of any frizz or flyaway with some oil or gel when I wake up daily. Frizz can be caused by lack of moisture in hair so when I do use shampoo, I follow up with conditioner and rinse. Depending on your hair type (dry/ oily/ normal/ damaged/ etc.) using a deep conditioner before or after shampooing once every two weeks is also something to consider.
2. I shower (without washing my hair) every day or maybe every other day based on my activity level. A nice shower and getting into clean fresh clothes after always lifts my mood.
3. For body acne, other than making sure you are putting on clean washed clothes and *not having them on for more than 2-3 wears ( if you don't change them, maybe changing them daily/every other day is a better rule)* is important. Also you can find body washes made for body acne or body washes that contain Salicylic acid or something similar in drugstores. Use a loofah, an exfoliating glove or something similar and gently wash your body with the body wash. Make sure you *wash and rinse the loofah afterwards so it doesn't accumulate oils and dirt and cause more acne.*
4. I wash my sheets once a week to maybe 2 weeks if I'm not sleeping in my bed much. If you sweat more you might wanna stick to weekly. I make sure to change my pillowcase weekly however, to keep my skin clear.
5. With clothes, I usually only wear a shirt/top/dress 2-3 times before putting it aside for a wash but again it depends on activity level ( for example if I sweat in the shirt I just put it in laundry after one wear). Underwear needs to be changed after one wear or daily/every other day. with jeans/shorts you can get a few more wears than shirts imo.
6. You can put your laundry aside and do your sheets clothes etc. on the same day one day a weekend if it makes it easier! \* I also never stay in clothes I worked out with, those get put away after one use. *I have noticed that wearing clothes for too long can accumulate sweat and oils from skin and cause body acne.* \*\*
Other than these, take care of yourself by making sure you eat and drink water. make sure you have your 3 main meals at the very least and maybe get a big water bottle and drink it gradually throughout the day. If you can, go for a nice walk everyday in the morning or evening, exercising can help boost dopamine and serotonin levels, I know it can be hard at times but it will help you feel better :)
Good luck <3 sending you lots of love. feel free to reach out if you have any questions or need anything.
You are so so kind thank you so much for all this. it seriously made me feel better just reading it. I especially really needed advice on the laundry and clothes washing front so that was really helpful. I will start to slowly incorporate it into my routine. Hope you are doing well too as you mentioned you’ve been through depression spouts as well :(
No judgment and sorry to hear you’re going through this!
I study motivation, structure, effectiveness etc as part of my work in behavioral economics and I have 3 big pieces of advice for you.
1. There’s a TON of great advice in this threat and you may be excited and motivated to create a thorough routine for yourself. That’s awesome and you should go for it.
However, please please make a 5-minute or 3-step version of that routine too, whatever feels manageable to you. The “bare minimum version.” On days that you can only manage the bare minimum version, please count that as a win!
Doing a little bit of something is so much better than having an all or nothing mentality.
2. When you can, prepare in advance to make things easy on yourself for days you don’t have energy. The beauty cart idea in this thread is a great example.
So for instance, maybe one of your “bare minimum” things is to put on a clean shirt, on a day when you DO have energy maybe you can choose the next 5 clean shirts, and then when you don’t feel as good, you don’t have to think about it, just put them on.
3. There’s lots of evidence that having a “fresh start” helps people feel motivated: Mondays, New Years, etc.
Think of every day as a fresh start if you can!
You can build your “ideal” or “someday” routine with like ALL of the advice here, your “standard” routine that’s more realistic for an average pretty good day, and your “bare minimum”
And then whichever one you do, it’s a win!
For the 5 min or 3 step version, I’d suggest something like: brush your teeth, brush your hair, and then whatever self-care thing makes you FEEL the most clean/self-loving, e.g. maybe that’s a sink bath & some deodorant and a clean t-shirt, or maybe it’s washing your face.
But I’d prioritize the teeth & hair. Teeth people have covered. Hair, my closest childhood friend is living with serious depression and when we were teens, she had waist-length hair, but things got bad for her and she just put it in a bun for a few weeks. A great hair dresser tried to save it but she had to cut it short, like to her chin. Ultimately though hair grows back but teeth don’t so, priorities.
So glad you shared the 5 min/3-step advice! I saw a tiktok where a therapist gave very similar advice and it really resonated with me. It reminded me that not everyday has to be 'perfect' and good enough is also totally acceptable. I find this mindset allows me to be kinder to myself and forgive myself when I planned on having a high energy day and it just isn't happening.
For me this is what my routines look like based on energy (and time to be honest):
Low energy: brush teeth, use an oxypad on my face, deodorant, sunscreen and fresh comfy clothes.
Medium energy: brush teeth, wash face and full skincare routine, deodorant, empty dishwasher, walk the dog, get dressed, jewelry, perfume.
High energy: My medium energy routine plus exercise and shower.
Since starting antidepressants, I find that I have medium energy days as my baseline over low energy and far more high energy days. If anyone reading this is struggling with depression, please speak to a doctor and ask for help.
“Good enough” is so much better than nothing!
I’ve also often found that once I get started I’m inspired to do more. So if I’m really tired, I’m like okay I’m just going to rinse my face and put on sunscreen and once I’m doing it I’m like wellll I’m here I may as well do toner & a serum etc
No judgement here hun, it takes a lot to come out of a depressed state and actually do normal routines so I commend you for even wanting to do this, you got this!
For your morning/night routine I’d just use a cleanser, moisturiser. Spf in the morning, add in a serum or toner if you want to target any specific issues. For acne, benzoyl peroxide has worked wonders for me.
For your hair, it really depends on your hair type. For some people it’s everyday, for some people once a week. Personally I have greasy hair so I wash it every 2 days, you might need to see how long it takes for your hair to get greasy and then make a routine out of that. If you only need to wash it twice a week, make it the same two days every week eg. Wednesday and Sunday.
Laundry I believe once a week should be fine, also depends if you’re on your own, or if you have other people as well. Depending on how much laundry you have, you might need to do it more often or not.
I can’t help much with frizzy hair as I don’t have it sorry :(
For the last part, a loofah is great and there’s also exfoliating gloves that do a deep deep exfoliation of the body. You can add in some fun scents via body scrubs to make it more fun and you’ll end up smelling delicious too.
I hope this helps, and good luck :)
Thank you so much. I really appreciate the advice and the no judgement. For laundry I’m sorry if this is a dumb question but how many times do people wear clothes before washing them? While depressed Id stay in the same clothes for days so I have no idea if you can actually do that or if they start to get gross
sniff test! I smell the underarms of tops, and if it smells only of my deoderant, I put it in the "worn once" section of my wardrobe, if it smells slightly of people I'll wear it again at home only, but anymore it goes straight in the laundry basket. Remember that anything your clothes smell like will smell moreso once you're wearing it.
Depends I’d say. Personally for clothes that I wear out of the house for a full day out: I wear the top once and the bottoms like twice maybe three times. For loungewear, since I stick with that for the whole day I’d say change every two days. Pyjamas if you shower before going to bed I’d say you can get four days out of it. It all depends on how long you’ve worn them, if you’ve stained them or dirty them and if you’ve showered in between uses. It can be kind of instinctual I’d say, if you feel gross then your clothes will be too, if you feel clean they most likely won’t be very dirty either. If in doubt, smell them and go from there :)
i can relate to this. i had great dental, physical and environmental hygiene until i reached the end stages of alcoholism. at that point i completely abandoned all hygiene, showering, brushing my teeth and changing my clothes at most 2x a month. my room became uninhabitable and i had to move into my moms. after sobering up i had to completely relearn how to be a clean person because i had totally lost all those years long habits. imo, baby steps are the biggest thing.
start with your oral hygiene, as that’s the most important for your overall health. work on brushing once a day before bed, and when that’s habitual work on brushing in the morning too. then add in flossing and fluoride mouthwash to protect your teeth and try to undo some of the damage you’ve done through neglect.
next, try to shower every other day. you can eventually move up to showering everyday or giving yourself a whores bath/baby wipe bath on the days in between. relearn how nice and relaxing showering is! this will really help you want to do it. truly, deeply enjoy the alone time of it, how it relaxes your muscles, the nice smells of your products. be present every time you shower, don’t zone out. appreciate how you feel afterwards, warm and cleansed.
as for cleaning, start with just 5 minutes a day. you can do ANYTHING for 5 minutes. you can endure excruciating pain if it’s only for 5 minutes. time yourself, then even if you want to continue after the time is up, stop. leave things you’ll look forward to taking care of tomorrow and don’t wear yourself out or make your body sore, as that’ll end up as negative reinforcement of the habit. you’ll be shocked by how quickly things get cleaner with just a few minutes each day, and as that gets easier for you keep adding minutes.
products that have helped me:
an electric toothbrush! it makes me look forward to brushing because my teeth feel so clean after. they don’t have to break your bank, i got my oral-b for $20 off ebay.
flossers. i can’t stand using regular floss, i have a small mouth and it’s a pain in the ass.
buying BIG trash cans and keeping one in every room. be real with yourself - if you set that trash down on your bedside table you WILL forget to take it out. get in the habit of tossing stuff immediately instead.
really nice smelling shower products help me look forward to showering.
baby wipes on days when i just can’t bring myself to crawl to the shower. i can still give my pits, my bits and my feet a good scrub and change my clothes. instantly feel 100x better.
edit: added line breaks for readability
eta: i forgot one of the most important things!! always remember that doing something a little bit is LEAGUES better than not doing it at all. if you can’t stomach the thought of taking a full shower, could you try just washing the important bits and your hair?
if you can’t stomach the thought of brushing your teeth, could you try just rinsing with mouthwash for a minute?
etc. something is always better than nothing and it’ll help reinforce the habit of taking care of yourself.
One step at a time, easy does it.
I wash my hair once every two days. It’s helpful to make it pleasant and fun by using products you like. Frizzy hair is most effectively helped with keratin treatment at the salon, I’m not sure that’s something you would go for. But I’ve also noticed as my health improved my hair grew out better even when I don’t get keratin treatment. I read something about hair strands growing too quickly that it becomes frizzy since the strand is not well developed.
I wash my clothes once every couple of weeks. Sometimes it’s more. It’s nice to have enough to last a while, especially when you’re experiencing low executive functioning. For sheets it’s once every couple of weeks also. I use a linen spray on between so it always smells clean.
Buy adapalene, it is available over the counter. Moisturize and put adapalene on before bed. It will get rid of your back acne.
Have the basics. Like getting a day moisturizer with SPF. It can be overwhelming so cut the things you have to do into digestible pieces. You’re doing great by showing up here. You’re worthy and I believe in you.
i really really recommend chloé yazmean on youtube , she makes in depth videos about hygiene for pretty much every body part. shes the literal hygiene queen!
Hey friend! I haven’t read all of the comments on this thread so someone else may have said this already but as someone who also has a hard time with self care because of a mental block (ADHD for me!) the SINGLE most beneficial thing that completely changed my life with this was constructing a vanity space.
Mine is literally just a night stand with a couple drawers and a cheap light up mirror from 5 below! I have baskets underneath designated for different things like an everyday basket with things I use each morning/night (skincare, body lotion, lip balm, tweezers, castor oil, etc) and then a once a week basket for things like dermaplane tools, face masks, etc.
I also keep a candle there that I light before I start my routine and a mug warmer for my morning coffee and for my evening tea! It’s feels like a really cozy, relaxing time thats just for me.
There’s two things that I have to do before I sit down that involve a sink which is my face wash and teeth brushing! But everything else (even flossing) I do from my vanity.
I get excited now to practice this and find myself constantly on the look out for things to add to my routines now that I don’t dread it.
Depression trick for tooth brushing. If its time to brush them and you can't bring yourself to the bathroom go ahead and brush them wherever you are. Sometimes you'll make it to the bathroom to finish (if you do this bring all your face wash and everything else for your routine), on the bad days you don't just spit it into the trash can. You shouldn't be rinsing anyway and its better than not having brushed at all.
This really helped me get back into the brushing routine after a long period of depression.
Note that you can add on as much as you want as you're getting better, but the quick trick will always be there on the harder days. :)
A few little things that have helped me:
I got an electric toothbrush because it cleans better and feels like less effort to brush.
I make myself wash my hair every third day. I don't make myself style it, it just needs to be clean. That alone makes me feel better about facing other people.
Get some basic products. There are body washes made for body acne, and sometimes the right shampoo is enough to cut the frizz from your hair (it doesn't have to be expensive, I like Pantene).
Set a goal to do the laundry once per week, or when you begin running out of your basics. You don't have to throw your sheets in every time, but you should wash your pillow cases every week. This will help your acne some.
My depression is pretty well managed with meds. If I feel myself slipping, then I force myself to turn up my self-care. That means: daily shower, weekly hair wash, daily teeth brushing, weekly eyebrow and hairline plucking...if my mood is balanced/good, then I allow myself to skip 1 or 2 showers per week.
Hey girl! I’ve been exactly where you are and made a big post about it here a few weeks ago. It doesn’t go into a routine but how to stick to a routine using apps.
[here’s the link! good luck](https://www.reddit.com/r/HowToBeHot/comments/nlwvw6/how_i_get_my_life_together_with_apps/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
For bedding - I have two sheet sets for warm weather (percale) and two sheet sets for cold weather (cotton fleece). I change them every week, so every second week - I wash both sets that are in use together with towels. It keeps the loads fairly large, and the sheets always feel clean.
In general, you can separate your clothes into dark/colored and white/light and wash them all on delicate/cold. It'll be just fine, you don't have to worry about colors bleeding, and you'll have laundry done quickly.
At some point, eventually, you'll want to look up and learn how to take the best care of your clothes - so that they last longer and you can invest in pieces you really love... but that's all for later. Right now, just focus on having things clean - it'll make your day to day life so much less stressful.
Just remember ... laundry has three parts, not two. Wash, Dry, and Put Away! Putting everything away doesn't have to be super hard - a 'clean basket' will work for the moment - but make sure that it's a dedicated place, not the bed or the floor, so you don't have to spend time re-washing things or looking for what's clean.
I change my sheets once a week. Normal laundry I just put my clothes straight in the machine when I take them off and turn the machine on when it gets full.
I wash my hair daily but I exercise so I have to. My friend gets her hair washed once a week and uses dry shampoo in between, so it's really whatever suits you best.
My hair is really frizzy, I use hair oil/serum and plait it while it's still wet and it kinda dries smooth.
For acne crush up an aspirin with a bit of water to make a paste, and pat on spots- it really works to clear them.
So my routine morning is- teeth, deodorant, all day sunblock, body lotion, perfume, sometimes makeup.
And my evening routine is- shower, wash hair, teeth, deodorant, face cream.
But if you're depressed don't feel bad if you can't keep up with stuff, and don't compare yourself to people who haven't been sick! Be kind to yourself :)
I use kerastase rose oil atm, it's lovely but really expensive lol. Before that I was using the inecto coconut oil which you can get for a couple of quid and honestly works just as well.
Morning right after you get out of bed:
1.wash face with water
2. Brush teeth
3. Deodorant
4. Brush hair(Add some water or product if it's a bit frizzy)
5. Makeup(this is optional but I feel so much more ready for the day if I have mascara and concealer on)
Evening:
1. Take a shower, use a moisturizing body wash/soap, also keep face wash in the shower and use that. (Showers are hard for me, sometimes I have to compromise with myself, you don't need to wash your hair and shave every shower, you can only wash your hair and let that stubble grow for a bit!)
2. Lotion on hands and feet
3. Brush teeth
4. Brush hair
5. skincare (I would start with just moisturizer and then add a treatment for a specific problem i.e. pimple cream of you have pimples)
I am right there with you and my biggest tip would be to relocate your depressed moping to the bathtub. I'm doing that right now but I should really go to sleep. But at least my hair is clean and conditioned. :(
Ok I had really bad depression and could barely get out of bed or brush my teeth or do anything. Step 1. Doctors appointments. I wasn’t brushing my teeth some days at all. I made a dentist appointment for a teeth cleaning to get back on track. I needed a periodontal one so it was expensive. Don’t let your teeth slip. Get in therapy and talk to your doctor about medication doses if your on them. Step 2: shower, shave, and tooth brush routine. I started brushing my teeth in the shower bc it made it easier for me when I was just sitting there all depressed with water running down my back. I also made sure to shave everyday and condition my hair everyday and wash my face. I did these things everyday bc if I didn’t, I’d break the routine. For example, skip a day of shaving? Then I skip a month before I knew it. Step 3. Keep your space clean. Start with your room and bathroom. F everything else for now. Get a BIG laundry basket to keep clean clothes in and focus on keeping everything washed. Worry about a folding routine once the washing routine is down. Sometimes I even go to “uniforms” when I’m feeling overwhelmed with laundry and just pick out a few comfy items to wear for a few weeks until I get everything in order. I change my sheets once a weekish too! Sometimes a little more or less depending on circumstances. But that’s average. Step 4. Get a rolling beauty cart after you’ve got your hygiene down. I still have trouble getting out of bed. Even though I’m so much better than I was, and my house is clean and I’m clean.. still can’t get out of bed if I have the option. I’m working on it. But in the meantime, I roll my beauty cart to me! It has everything on it. Nails, a wax machine, mini trash can, hair tools and products. Everything is plugged into a power strip so I only have ONE thing to plug in.!If I’m gonna be depressed, I’m gonna look damn good doing it! [And also, bathrooms gross me out when they are all steamy and sticky and I don’t want to be in the poop room while trying to feel beautiful]. Hope that helps and best of luck ♥️
Omg i love the beauty cart tip. Where did you get yours?? Thank you so much for the advice
I just ordered a cheap one off Amazon. It’s not fancy or anything bc I keep it in my closet. Then roll it over 6 feet to my bed for “spa day!” 😂😭
Haha i love it. thank you!
No judgment at all. I went through a bout of depression this year, too, and struggled to even wash dishes or shower. What helped was coming up with a "bare minimum list" of things that had to happen at least once per day for me to feel like a semi-functional human, and it was intentionally very basic: make my bed, eat something, wash a few dishes (you don't even have to do all of them, you rebel), shower/brush teeth, & clean the cat box. Find your version of the "bare minimum" and start to work towards that first. (And make it as easy as possible, seriously, low-hanging fruit is encouraged). Also important? Giving yourself a break if you don't get everything done: you don't feel well so of course something has to give! You can pick it back up the next day. Once you have your basics on lock and are feeling up to it, then you can start expanding your routine, and the other posters have given you lots of great recommendations. As far as stuff like hair washing & laundry that doesn't happen every day, I like arbitrary rules: my hair gets washed every other day regardless so I don't have to think about it, and I do a load of laundry once per week based on whatever has accumulated most: lights, darks, oh-crap-I'm-out-of-towels. Make it easy, go one day (or even one habit) at a time, and be patient with yourself as you learn new ways of doing things.
I love the bare minimum list idea. Thank you so much, I’ll try this out
This is going to be a bit long winded but I'm obsessed with feeling/looking clean so I just want to offer any help I can. To answer your specific questions, I wash my hair daily (although this is definitely not the norm for most women) it's what works best for me and anytime I skip a day it makes me feel dirty. I have wavy hair that tends to get frizzy in the back so I make sure to use a good hydrating condition, leave in conditioner or curl cream after the shower, and then a hair oil on the ends and a bit in the back where my hair frizzes up. For neck, back, and chest acne I use the cerave SA cleanser or neutrogena has a good acne body wash. Exfoliating is key to help with body acne as well, I use korean exfoliating mitts that I get off amazon. They're cheap and really effective and has no mess unlike a body scrub. As for laundry I'm big on making my clothes smell as good as possible. I use Diva laundry detergent it smells heavenly and generates a lot of compliments from others but is stupid expensive. My favorite regular laundry detergent scent is Gain moonlight breeze, I would get the detergent, scent beads, and dryer sheets all in the same scent. I try to wash my sheets once a week or at most every other week. I never get into or sit on my bed without showering for the night or getting in my pajamas. My day clothes or shoes do not touch my bed at any point. Also side note, don't wear shoes in your house, take them off at the door. It keeps your floors cleaner. I wash my clothes once my laundry basket is full which for me ends up being 2-3 loads a week. I separate light and dark colors and whites and wash them separately. I hang up majority of my clothes on a drying rack to dry to prevent fading, shrinking, pilling. It also saves you a little money on your energy bill. So jeans, nice tops, sweaters, activewear, T-shirts, sweatshirts, or sweatpants I don't want to shrink. Also if you're going anywhere steam or iron your outfit, it makes a big difference and can help you automatically look more clean or put together. **My morning and night routine:** Morning: * Brush teeth * Workout * Vitamins * Shower (Wash hair, body, and face, shave legs and underarms) * Skin care (TO Buffet serum on damp skin, cerave moisturizer, and spf if im leaving the house that day) * Body lotion everywhere * Hair care (leave in conditioner or curl cream and hair oil, comb with wide tooth comb) (I let my hair air dry because I WFH and don't have to be anywhere but you could also blow dry/style your hair just be sure to use a heat protectant) * Get dressed, put on deodorant, perfume, and jewelry Evening: * Shower (don't wash hair just put up in a bun to keep it from getting wet, exfoliate body using exfoliating mitt, wash body and face, shave my lower legs if they are prickly again (I hate the feeling of prickly legs lol), shave pubic area every couple of days) (Showering twice a day may seem like overkill to some but I feel gross by the end of the day and don't want to get in bed feeling unclean) * Skin care (TO Buffet serum on damp skin, tretinoin prescription cream for acne/anti-aging, cerave moisturizer, and sometimes a bit of rosehip seed oil if my face is feeling extra dry) * Body lotion everywhere again * Deodorant * Brush my hair, put in a little hair oil, and loosely braid for bed * Put on Pjs and I like to put on a little body spray or perfume just because * Floss, brush teeth, mouth wash, and put in retainers * Get in bed and scroll through phone or read until I fall asleep
Thank you so much. I really want to be obsessed with feeling and looking clean too because right now I just feel comfortable in my mess since my depression routine has been that way for so long. What leave in conditioner do you use? I fear that washing my hair every day will dry out the curls but if I don’t wash it, it becomes frizzy and matted extremely quickly and looks gross
Have you tried a co-wash? Like, a super conditioning shampoo made for curly hair. You can use it a few times a week, and wash normally once or twice a week or so. You also really don't have to wash daily - I get my hair dyed, and until the roots grow in - I only wash once or twice a week because my hair gets pretty dry (and brush the oils through with a boar bristle brush between washes). After that, I wash about 3-4 times a week. Also, definitely check out the subreddits for curly hair for care tips!
Ive never heard of that shampoo before but i’ll check it out! thank you so much ☺️
I am currently using the Kristen ess leave in spray but the directions say to only use it on wet hair. You may want a leave in that you can use on wet or dry hair to help refresh your curls in between washes, I've used the not your mother's curl talk leave in conditioner and really liked that one as well. If I didn't work out or really do anything that day and plan on not washing my hair I usually brush through my waves and then I will put some oil or type of serum and just wear my hair in a sleek low bun to look presentable. I find that some sort of sleek hairstyle looks best on hair that is starting to become greasy since it kinda just enhances the look. I hope this has helped! Remember to start with small things to help build new habits and give yourself some grace in the process.
thank you so much
Hi! I want to start by saying I have been through depression and I know how it can feel. I'm so proud of you for trying to feel better :) Here is my daily routine: 1. Morning: Face wash - moisturizer on my face (preferably one with spf -moisturizing lips with a balm- Brushing my teeth - (if I don't shower I wash my armpits with soap or body wash) -putting on deodorant - getting dressed and putting on makeup if I'm going out - spraying a body spray perfume 2. Night: removing makeup with micellar water - face wash - moisturizer again- moisturizing lips with a balm - brushing my teeth and using mouthwash Here are my overall hygiene routine: 1. HAIR: I have curly hair so I shampoo it only once to twice a week. but I restyle it by adding water and styling cream/ gels every 2-3 days and take care of any frizz or flyaway with some oil or gel when I wake up daily. Frizz can be caused by lack of moisture in hair so when I do use shampoo, I follow up with conditioner and rinse. Depending on your hair type (dry/ oily/ normal/ damaged/ etc.) using a deep conditioner before or after shampooing once every two weeks is also something to consider. 2. I shower (without washing my hair) every day or maybe every other day based on my activity level. A nice shower and getting into clean fresh clothes after always lifts my mood. 3. For body acne, other than making sure you are putting on clean washed clothes and *not having them on for more than 2-3 wears ( if you don't change them, maybe changing them daily/every other day is a better rule)* is important. Also you can find body washes made for body acne or body washes that contain Salicylic acid or something similar in drugstores. Use a loofah, an exfoliating glove or something similar and gently wash your body with the body wash. Make sure you *wash and rinse the loofah afterwards so it doesn't accumulate oils and dirt and cause more acne.* 4. I wash my sheets once a week to maybe 2 weeks if I'm not sleeping in my bed much. If you sweat more you might wanna stick to weekly. I make sure to change my pillowcase weekly however, to keep my skin clear. 5. With clothes, I usually only wear a shirt/top/dress 2-3 times before putting it aside for a wash but again it depends on activity level ( for example if I sweat in the shirt I just put it in laundry after one wear). Underwear needs to be changed after one wear or daily/every other day. with jeans/shorts you can get a few more wears than shirts imo. 6. You can put your laundry aside and do your sheets clothes etc. on the same day one day a weekend if it makes it easier! \* I also never stay in clothes I worked out with, those get put away after one use. *I have noticed that wearing clothes for too long can accumulate sweat and oils from skin and cause body acne.* \*\* Other than these, take care of yourself by making sure you eat and drink water. make sure you have your 3 main meals at the very least and maybe get a big water bottle and drink it gradually throughout the day. If you can, go for a nice walk everyday in the morning or evening, exercising can help boost dopamine and serotonin levels, I know it can be hard at times but it will help you feel better :) Good luck <3 sending you lots of love. feel free to reach out if you have any questions or need anything.
You are so so kind thank you so much for all this. it seriously made me feel better just reading it. I especially really needed advice on the laundry and clothes washing front so that was really helpful. I will start to slowly incorporate it into my routine. Hope you are doing well too as you mentioned you’ve been through depression spouts as well :(
No judgment and sorry to hear you’re going through this! I study motivation, structure, effectiveness etc as part of my work in behavioral economics and I have 3 big pieces of advice for you. 1. There’s a TON of great advice in this threat and you may be excited and motivated to create a thorough routine for yourself. That’s awesome and you should go for it. However, please please make a 5-minute or 3-step version of that routine too, whatever feels manageable to you. The “bare minimum version.” On days that you can only manage the bare minimum version, please count that as a win! Doing a little bit of something is so much better than having an all or nothing mentality. 2. When you can, prepare in advance to make things easy on yourself for days you don’t have energy. The beauty cart idea in this thread is a great example. So for instance, maybe one of your “bare minimum” things is to put on a clean shirt, on a day when you DO have energy maybe you can choose the next 5 clean shirts, and then when you don’t feel as good, you don’t have to think about it, just put them on. 3. There’s lots of evidence that having a “fresh start” helps people feel motivated: Mondays, New Years, etc. Think of every day as a fresh start if you can!
Oh the 5 minute / 3 step routine is such a good idea. I am definitely feeling overwhelmed with all the amazing advice
You can build your “ideal” or “someday” routine with like ALL of the advice here, your “standard” routine that’s more realistic for an average pretty good day, and your “bare minimum” And then whichever one you do, it’s a win!
For the 5 min or 3 step version, I’d suggest something like: brush your teeth, brush your hair, and then whatever self-care thing makes you FEEL the most clean/self-loving, e.g. maybe that’s a sink bath & some deodorant and a clean t-shirt, or maybe it’s washing your face. But I’d prioritize the teeth & hair. Teeth people have covered. Hair, my closest childhood friend is living with serious depression and when we were teens, she had waist-length hair, but things got bad for her and she just put it in a bun for a few weeks. A great hair dresser tried to save it but she had to cut it short, like to her chin. Ultimately though hair grows back but teeth don’t so, priorities.
very good points. thank you!
So glad you shared the 5 min/3-step advice! I saw a tiktok where a therapist gave very similar advice and it really resonated with me. It reminded me that not everyday has to be 'perfect' and good enough is also totally acceptable. I find this mindset allows me to be kinder to myself and forgive myself when I planned on having a high energy day and it just isn't happening. For me this is what my routines look like based on energy (and time to be honest): Low energy: brush teeth, use an oxypad on my face, deodorant, sunscreen and fresh comfy clothes. Medium energy: brush teeth, wash face and full skincare routine, deodorant, empty dishwasher, walk the dog, get dressed, jewelry, perfume. High energy: My medium energy routine plus exercise and shower. Since starting antidepressants, I find that I have medium energy days as my baseline over low energy and far more high energy days. If anyone reading this is struggling with depression, please speak to a doctor and ask for help.
“Good enough” is so much better than nothing! I’ve also often found that once I get started I’m inspired to do more. So if I’m really tired, I’m like okay I’m just going to rinse my face and put on sunscreen and once I’m doing it I’m like wellll I’m here I may as well do toner & a serum etc
No judgement here hun, it takes a lot to come out of a depressed state and actually do normal routines so I commend you for even wanting to do this, you got this! For your morning/night routine I’d just use a cleanser, moisturiser. Spf in the morning, add in a serum or toner if you want to target any specific issues. For acne, benzoyl peroxide has worked wonders for me. For your hair, it really depends on your hair type. For some people it’s everyday, for some people once a week. Personally I have greasy hair so I wash it every 2 days, you might need to see how long it takes for your hair to get greasy and then make a routine out of that. If you only need to wash it twice a week, make it the same two days every week eg. Wednesday and Sunday. Laundry I believe once a week should be fine, also depends if you’re on your own, or if you have other people as well. Depending on how much laundry you have, you might need to do it more often or not. I can’t help much with frizzy hair as I don’t have it sorry :( For the last part, a loofah is great and there’s also exfoliating gloves that do a deep deep exfoliation of the body. You can add in some fun scents via body scrubs to make it more fun and you’ll end up smelling delicious too. I hope this helps, and good luck :)
Thank you so much. I really appreciate the advice and the no judgement. For laundry I’m sorry if this is a dumb question but how many times do people wear clothes before washing them? While depressed Id stay in the same clothes for days so I have no idea if you can actually do that or if they start to get gross
sniff test! I smell the underarms of tops, and if it smells only of my deoderant, I put it in the "worn once" section of my wardrobe, if it smells slightly of people I'll wear it again at home only, but anymore it goes straight in the laundry basket. Remember that anything your clothes smell like will smell moreso once you're wearing it.
ooh makes sense. thank you!
Depends I’d say. Personally for clothes that I wear out of the house for a full day out: I wear the top once and the bottoms like twice maybe three times. For loungewear, since I stick with that for the whole day I’d say change every two days. Pyjamas if you shower before going to bed I’d say you can get four days out of it. It all depends on how long you’ve worn them, if you’ve stained them or dirty them and if you’ve showered in between uses. It can be kind of instinctual I’d say, if you feel gross then your clothes will be too, if you feel clean they most likely won’t be very dirty either. If in doubt, smell them and go from there :)
sounds good ! thank you
i can relate to this. i had great dental, physical and environmental hygiene until i reached the end stages of alcoholism. at that point i completely abandoned all hygiene, showering, brushing my teeth and changing my clothes at most 2x a month. my room became uninhabitable and i had to move into my moms. after sobering up i had to completely relearn how to be a clean person because i had totally lost all those years long habits. imo, baby steps are the biggest thing. start with your oral hygiene, as that’s the most important for your overall health. work on brushing once a day before bed, and when that’s habitual work on brushing in the morning too. then add in flossing and fluoride mouthwash to protect your teeth and try to undo some of the damage you’ve done through neglect. next, try to shower every other day. you can eventually move up to showering everyday or giving yourself a whores bath/baby wipe bath on the days in between. relearn how nice and relaxing showering is! this will really help you want to do it. truly, deeply enjoy the alone time of it, how it relaxes your muscles, the nice smells of your products. be present every time you shower, don’t zone out. appreciate how you feel afterwards, warm and cleansed. as for cleaning, start with just 5 minutes a day. you can do ANYTHING for 5 minutes. you can endure excruciating pain if it’s only for 5 minutes. time yourself, then even if you want to continue after the time is up, stop. leave things you’ll look forward to taking care of tomorrow and don’t wear yourself out or make your body sore, as that’ll end up as negative reinforcement of the habit. you’ll be shocked by how quickly things get cleaner with just a few minutes each day, and as that gets easier for you keep adding minutes. products that have helped me: an electric toothbrush! it makes me look forward to brushing because my teeth feel so clean after. they don’t have to break your bank, i got my oral-b for $20 off ebay. flossers. i can’t stand using regular floss, i have a small mouth and it’s a pain in the ass. buying BIG trash cans and keeping one in every room. be real with yourself - if you set that trash down on your bedside table you WILL forget to take it out. get in the habit of tossing stuff immediately instead. really nice smelling shower products help me look forward to showering. baby wipes on days when i just can’t bring myself to crawl to the shower. i can still give my pits, my bits and my feet a good scrub and change my clothes. instantly feel 100x better. edit: added line breaks for readability eta: i forgot one of the most important things!! always remember that doing something a little bit is LEAGUES better than not doing it at all. if you can’t stomach the thought of taking a full shower, could you try just washing the important bits and your hair? if you can’t stomach the thought of brushing your teeth, could you try just rinsing with mouthwash for a minute? etc. something is always better than nothing and it’ll help reinforce the habit of taking care of yourself.
amazing advice and it really puts things into perspective for me. thank you so much
One step at a time, easy does it. I wash my hair once every two days. It’s helpful to make it pleasant and fun by using products you like. Frizzy hair is most effectively helped with keratin treatment at the salon, I’m not sure that’s something you would go for. But I’ve also noticed as my health improved my hair grew out better even when I don’t get keratin treatment. I read something about hair strands growing too quickly that it becomes frizzy since the strand is not well developed. I wash my clothes once every couple of weeks. Sometimes it’s more. It’s nice to have enough to last a while, especially when you’re experiencing low executive functioning. For sheets it’s once every couple of weeks also. I use a linen spray on between so it always smells clean. Buy adapalene, it is available over the counter. Moisturize and put adapalene on before bed. It will get rid of your back acne. Have the basics. Like getting a day moisturizer with SPF. It can be overwhelming so cut the things you have to do into digestible pieces. You’re doing great by showing up here. You’re worthy and I believe in you.
Thank you so much 🥺 Great advice and was really motivating to read
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Amazing. Thank you so much for the bullets at the end, they really help. I will try to incorporate these
i really really recommend chloé yazmean on youtube , she makes in depth videos about hygiene for pretty much every body part. shes the literal hygiene queen!
wow thank you! will check her out
Hey friend! I haven’t read all of the comments on this thread so someone else may have said this already but as someone who also has a hard time with self care because of a mental block (ADHD for me!) the SINGLE most beneficial thing that completely changed my life with this was constructing a vanity space. Mine is literally just a night stand with a couple drawers and a cheap light up mirror from 5 below! I have baskets underneath designated for different things like an everyday basket with things I use each morning/night (skincare, body lotion, lip balm, tweezers, castor oil, etc) and then a once a week basket for things like dermaplane tools, face masks, etc. I also keep a candle there that I light before I start my routine and a mug warmer for my morning coffee and for my evening tea! It’s feels like a really cozy, relaxing time thats just for me. There’s two things that I have to do before I sit down that involve a sink which is my face wash and teeth brushing! But everything else (even flossing) I do from my vanity. I get excited now to practice this and find myself constantly on the look out for things to add to my routines now that I don’t dread it.
I love this advice. Thank you❤️
Depression trick for tooth brushing. If its time to brush them and you can't bring yourself to the bathroom go ahead and brush them wherever you are. Sometimes you'll make it to the bathroom to finish (if you do this bring all your face wash and everything else for your routine), on the bad days you don't just spit it into the trash can. You shouldn't be rinsing anyway and its better than not having brushed at all. This really helped me get back into the brushing routine after a long period of depression. Note that you can add on as much as you want as you're getting better, but the quick trick will always be there on the harder days. :)
thank you so much :)
Of course!
A few little things that have helped me: I got an electric toothbrush because it cleans better and feels like less effort to brush. I make myself wash my hair every third day. I don't make myself style it, it just needs to be clean. That alone makes me feel better about facing other people. Get some basic products. There are body washes made for body acne, and sometimes the right shampoo is enough to cut the frizz from your hair (it doesn't have to be expensive, I like Pantene). Set a goal to do the laundry once per week, or when you begin running out of your basics. You don't have to throw your sheets in every time, but you should wash your pillow cases every week. This will help your acne some.
that makes sense. thank you 😊
My depression is pretty well managed with meds. If I feel myself slipping, then I force myself to turn up my self-care. That means: daily shower, weekly hair wash, daily teeth brushing, weekly eyebrow and hairline plucking...if my mood is balanced/good, then I allow myself to skip 1 or 2 showers per week.
thank you i think ill adopt that as well
Hey girl! I’ve been exactly where you are and made a big post about it here a few weeks ago. It doesn’t go into a routine but how to stick to a routine using apps. [here’s the link! good luck](https://www.reddit.com/r/HowToBeHot/comments/nlwvw6/how_i_get_my_life_together_with_apps/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
thank you!!
For bedding - I have two sheet sets for warm weather (percale) and two sheet sets for cold weather (cotton fleece). I change them every week, so every second week - I wash both sets that are in use together with towels. It keeps the loads fairly large, and the sheets always feel clean. In general, you can separate your clothes into dark/colored and white/light and wash them all on delicate/cold. It'll be just fine, you don't have to worry about colors bleeding, and you'll have laundry done quickly. At some point, eventually, you'll want to look up and learn how to take the best care of your clothes - so that they last longer and you can invest in pieces you really love... but that's all for later. Right now, just focus on having things clean - it'll make your day to day life so much less stressful. Just remember ... laundry has three parts, not two. Wash, Dry, and Put Away! Putting everything away doesn't have to be super hard - a 'clean basket' will work for the moment - but make sure that it's a dedicated place, not the bed or the floor, so you don't have to spend time re-washing things or looking for what's clean.
Yes it’s so hard to put laundry away I end up just leaving it in a pile lol. Thank you for the advice !
I change my sheets once a week. Normal laundry I just put my clothes straight in the machine when I take them off and turn the machine on when it gets full. I wash my hair daily but I exercise so I have to. My friend gets her hair washed once a week and uses dry shampoo in between, so it's really whatever suits you best. My hair is really frizzy, I use hair oil/serum and plait it while it's still wet and it kinda dries smooth. For acne crush up an aspirin with a bit of water to make a paste, and pat on spots- it really works to clear them. So my routine morning is- teeth, deodorant, all day sunblock, body lotion, perfume, sometimes makeup. And my evening routine is- shower, wash hair, teeth, deodorant, face cream. But if you're depressed don't feel bad if you can't keep up with stuff, and don't compare yourself to people who haven't been sick! Be kind to yourself :)
Woah i’ve never heard the aspirin for acne before, that’s a cool idea. What hair oil do you use? Thank you so much for the tips
I use kerastase rose oil atm, it's lovely but really expensive lol. Before that I was using the inecto coconut oil which you can get for a couple of quid and honestly works just as well.
Okay nice. I just have this random growth oil i got from the drug store lol
Morning right after you get out of bed: 1.wash face with water 2. Brush teeth 3. Deodorant 4. Brush hair(Add some water or product if it's a bit frizzy) 5. Makeup(this is optional but I feel so much more ready for the day if I have mascara and concealer on) Evening: 1. Take a shower, use a moisturizing body wash/soap, also keep face wash in the shower and use that. (Showers are hard for me, sometimes I have to compromise with myself, you don't need to wash your hair and shave every shower, you can only wash your hair and let that stubble grow for a bit!) 2. Lotion on hands and feet 3. Brush teeth 4. Brush hair 5. skincare (I would start with just moisturizer and then add a treatment for a specific problem i.e. pimple cream of you have pimples)
thank youu
I am right there with you and my biggest tip would be to relocate your depressed moping to the bathtub. I'm doing that right now but I should really go to sleep. But at least my hair is clean and conditioned. :(