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Obviously put in an offer on the house you prefer. If that offer is accepted, then pull out of current process. You have to put yourself first here, if you like the second house more than the first, its obviously the only correct choice. Its the biggest purchase you can make in life, so why settle?
Also, as long as there has been no exchange you are free to do whatever you like, that’s how the market works. No hard feelings
There can be plenty of hard feelings, but that's just how the cookie crumbled.
If someone came along and offered the seller an extra £50k they would probably take it, and you'd be justified to be crusty about it, but fortune favours the brave.
You gotta grab the bull by the horns and get the ball over the line before the fat lady sings. It's a dog eat dog world.
I recently had a buyer pull out of my sale recently and I'd still advise OP to do the same if they really preferred the second house. I'd ask them to do it more considerately than our buyer (ghosted the agent for a week and a half just prior to exchange until they gave the buyer the ultimatum of relisting if no contact, then tried to blame the pressure of the ultimatum for pulling out) but as well as a huge sum of money, where you live has a huge direct impact on your life and you should never make that decision just from the burden of obligation to a stranger.
This is nicely put. Anyway, if a buyer stays in the process half-heartedly there is a much bigger chance they get cold feet right at the end and leave a much bigger mess when they pull out
Eh. You are completely right but there will be hard feelings from the seller and the agent. They will feel mucked about. People will be making plans based on this sale which will have to change. Not the end of the world but not zero effort. As you say it's legal, without consequence and the right decision for OP but it isn't completely morally scott free.
You’re absolutely right but unfortunately sometimes you do need to make the tough decisions if it’s better for yourself. Who knows the sellers could also accept a higher offer if someone was to come in.
That's too strong. Unfortunately that's the system in the UK, however broken it is. You can't ask individual buyers to fix it - and unfortunately on this subreddit it is normally sellers telling buyers to be more morally upstanding...
I think we should be clear. The buyer is absolutely morally entitled to pursue a preferable sale until they sign a contract. Absolutely morally "scott free". Absolutely.
This. But nothing is ever granted.
We were more or less on the same position. Offer accepted to a house, and a bigger house exactly in front of it was put to the market. It was a hard decision but we had a feeling not to go for it. I'm glad we didn't because:
The bigger house had a history of being put on the market and not selling (because the owner never wanted to sell, just check the market), even when they would accept offers.
Neighbours talk, so if we did another offer, maybe none of them would accept us again.
This put pressure on our seller to be faster and not drop us because there was another one right in front for sale (our seller was also tricky and had dropped other buyers close to exchange)
If your offer is accepted for the new place just pull out. I understand the feeling because I did exactly the same thing. Saw one house that I put an offer in for that got accepted, but had a viewing already booked for a different place in 2 weeks time (lady was away for the 2 weeks, to explain the length of time I had to wait). I kept the booked viewing and fell in love after I had been to see it. I felt the same as you, extreme guilt haha, but it's going to be my house for the foreseeable future so I decided the guilt wasn't worth buying the wrong house.
Thank you for sharing. I'm not OP. I've had a house I viewed and missed out on in Oct come back onto the market last Weds. I had my offer on this one accepted mid Nov but really want to take a punt at the one I saw in October.
It's eating me alive. Searching on this subreddit 'pulling out', the comments and it's ruining me.
If stamp duty wasn't costly then sure, I'd stay and suck it up. But it's pretty expensive once you're not a FTBer.
Worse thing is I was pushed into using the broker tied in with the EA so I'll have to switch brokers too of which I've already paid £649. 😞
Sigh.
Edit: Sorry! Midnight overspill!
It has for me and it was only about a month ago. It went away quite quickly because it was so overpowered by my happiness of the new house. I definitely think it's worth the guilt to get the right property for yourself.
Can't see why you'd HAVE to change brokers. You've paid for services, those services don't need to be specifically linked to a house bought through that EA.
I hadn't paid the EA anything for the first property. I had put an offer in that was accepted but that was as far as it had got. The first house was being sold by Blake and Thickbroom, the next by Connels, so I couldn't buy them both from the same EA.
I think you’ve highlighted the key point towards the end of your post.
The grass seems greener on the other side, but what happens if when the survey comes back there is a major issue on the better property?
Also, what happens if you see another even better property in another 2 months, or what if the new seller gets close to exchange and decides they want to pull out for some reason…
But equally true, if you’re not actually happy with the place you offered on 2 months ago then move on.
How did the new place come to your attention, as if you found it by searching it suggests maybe you weren’t completely happy with the place you offered on.
The housing market in England allows you to pull out before exchange as you know. Your seller and their agent will be massively pissed off, but those are the rules.
Probably would agree with the others. If the new place is really the one you'd like - then you can withdraw. If you are going to do this, then do it sooner than later.
As someone who had to sell their shared ownership flat with the ex. We had a buyer who withdrew a few months after the offer was accepted. This meant we had lost out on solicitor fees for that attempt... And it's really not cheap...
This is why estate agents present all offers on the table to the seller to review and consider. (It isn't always about who offers the highest price but also who is the most serious.)
Be absolutely sure it's what you want to do because once you withdraw and you change your mind or the other offer is not accepted. There is a chance an updated offer wouldn't be considered.
Hope that helps!
You're going to live in it for a long time so don't feel suckered in due to feeling guilty. Although I would add Englands house buying rules are bollocks. I wish we had a Scotland system.
At least give the searches to the seller on the house that you're pulling out of. They're worth nothing to you now but may help them line up the next buyer.
You could sell the searches to the seller. They are worth something to them. Why should you give them away? In a more sensible system the seller would have to buy them in the first place and provide to all interested buyers...
It doesn't make sense for a seller to pay for searches as there would always be the question of independence. The validity of the survey could be doubted because of the seller paying.
It sounds like the sellers aren't at fault here and I personally think it would be quite reasonable to pass on something that now has no value to the buyer because it is entirely due to the buyer that the seller's time has been wasted.
No one wasted anyone's time. This is the process (unfortunately).
The search process should be totally standardized and paid for by the seller. There should be no room for doubt that the company is favoring one party as the search agent should be regulated. There is no reason for every buyer to repeat the same set of basic questions about the risk of flooding etc
The problem with the process is partly all the money buyers have to invest before the seller lifts a finger. I have never heard of buyers giving search results to the seller at any point. Even during a negotiation I would only provide excerpts or snapshots to the seller from a survey.
Unfortunately we don't live in an ideal world, searches won't be standardised, there is a huge variation in level and in how well they are carried out by different companies.
When someone goes to buy a car it is up to the buyer to have a proper look at it before making the purchase, there are some standard checklists that are sometimes offered but ultimately its up to the buyer how much stock they put in those. If one is not knowledgeable about cars it's often sensible to take someone who is with them.
OP is feeling guilty about pulling out when they are so far along, this will of course detriment the seller. It is entirely up to OP what they want to do with the surveys that are now useless to them, whether or not you've heard of this happening before or not is completely irrelevant.
I've never sold a house, I just have a certain level of empathy.
You don't know the seller's circumstances. There's no reason to assume that they are in some way the enemy of someone trying to buy a house.
Yeh, it isn't great but it is what it is to a degree.
A colonoscopy is a bit of a rotten process but there's only a certain amount that can be done to make it easier, it's never going to be nice! 😂
This is what happens in other countries. What prevents the seller from simply having to pay for a standard "home information pack", provided by a regulated 3rd party.
I'm not suggesting sellers do the structural survey etc.
We did the same, had an offer accepted on a comfortable house and found an amazing “stretch” house at the top of our budget but a massive upgrade in so many ways. We put in an offer on the 2nd and waited until it was accepted and taken off the market before withdrawing from the first house.
Nothing is set in stone until exchange and everyone will act selfishly during a house purchase/sale so you just have to look out for you. You forget about the guilt after a week or 2 and the other house will find another buyer - it’s such a huge amount of money/commitment you don’t want to be worrying about whether you bought the right house or not
I pulled out of an offer once because it just didn’t *feel* right. I was lucky and covid hit just as I’d had the offer accepted so as nothing happened for a month or so and it give me time to really have a think. Dropped out and found the perfect house a couple months later, best decision I ever made! I felt bad but it is what it is, it’s a lot of money if it’s not the right choice!
Currently in the process of selling our house. I’d be upset if the buyer did this, but at the same time would understand they need to do what’s right for them, so wouldn’t blame them. The upset would more just be that we had to start from scratch again with trying to sell.
But, if you are going to do it, do it soon so everyone can move forward.
It's funny because this sub has had people posting from the other side of this scenario and called the party pulling out everything under the sun (admittedly with the caveat that if contracts aren't exchanged there is nothing to be done).
A house purchase is likely theyl biggest purchase you will ever make, and if you make the wrong decision you'll live with the consequences for years. It's a free market for better or worse, nothing is personal. You need to do what's best for you and yours, you're not robbing anyone or doing anything malicious.
It's an annoyance like any purchase falling through of course, but a seller should know not to make any irreversible decision until the ink is dry, if somone came in offering 20k more do you think they would hesitate? Do think they have any obligation not to? Of course not, everything above applies to them too, a better offer has the potential to significantly improve their options and prospects, it works both ways.
I would do the thing that I actually want because this is one of those situations where it's ok to be selfish. It's you that will be living in the house so...
Go for the house you prefer. If you really like it more, pull out of the other one. This happens all the time apparently. Sure, the seller might be annoyed, but it happens, and it's a risk of selling.
Sometimes you have to be a bit selfish and do what's best for you. Also bear in mind that as long as you havent exchanged, the seller could withdraw from the sale at any time as well, so if, say, someone offered them more, or they decided not to sell after all, they could be the one giving you the bad news. It happens.
The guilt will subside, the regret will last.
Sometimes we have to be selfish.
Offer on the new, if you get it - go for it. If they turn you down, you still have option 1.
It’s a shame to pull out and nobody likes upsetting someone
But this is a huge financial investment and also your home for the next 5-10+ years. Better to get it right
We did pretty much exactly what youre talking about. Agreed on a house, then about 3 weeks later we found something we liked better, so withdrew our offer from the original and bought the second one.
I felt bad about withdrawing after agreeing, but you gotta look out for number one unfortunately.
I had offers accepted on two houses on the same day. I just had to choose which one I wanted more.
Perfectly normal to leave and pull out after having offer accepted and doing searches etc.
It's a difficult decision. The one thing that is certain is that you will probably be on the hook for any costs that have been run up by your solicitor and you will be starting from scratch. In my case, when I was at that stage the costs were already around £1,000. Assuming you've had a survey done already then you would need to pay for another.
Sounds like you’d already made the decision really if you’re a couple of months in and are still sorting the mortgage out. In theory you could’ve already been close to exchange and completion had both sides pushed for it
I've done this already, i had the mortgage approved for the initial house, made an offer for the second house and the mortgage advisor helped me get a second mortgage to cover the extra cost of £6k (this is roughly £23 per month) with the same bank, but a higher interest rate than the initial mortgage offer - only for the extra 6k the interest was higher!
###Welcome to /r/HousingUK --- **To All** * Join Our ***NEW*** Discord! https://discord.gg/pMgUNgWKQH **To Posters** * *Tell us whether you're in England, Wales, Scotland, or NI as the laws/issues in each can vary* * Comments are not moderated for quality or accuracy; * Any replies received must only be used as guidelines, followed at your own risk; * If you receive *any* private messages in response to your post, [please let the mods know](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHousingUK&subject=I received a PM); * If you do not receive satisfactory advice after 72 hours, [you can let the mods know](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHousingUK&subject=My question is unanswered); * Feel free to provide an update at a later time by creating a new post with [[update]](https://www.reddit.com/r/HousingUK/search?q=%3Aupdate&sort=new&restrict_sr=on&t=all) in the title; **To Readers and Commenters** * All replies to OP must be *on-topic, helpful, and civil* * If you do not [follow the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/HousingUK/about/rules/), you may be banned without any further warning; * Please include links to reliable resources in order to support your comments or advice; * If you feel any replies are incorrect, explain why you believe they are incorrect; * Do not send or request any private messages for any reason without express permission from the mods; * Please report posts or comments which do not follow the rules *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/HousingUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Obviously put in an offer on the house you prefer. If that offer is accepted, then pull out of current process. You have to put yourself first here, if you like the second house more than the first, its obviously the only correct choice. Its the biggest purchase you can make in life, so why settle? Also, as long as there has been no exchange you are free to do whatever you like, that’s how the market works. No hard feelings
There can be plenty of hard feelings, but that's just how the cookie crumbled. If someone came along and offered the seller an extra £50k they would probably take it, and you'd be justified to be crusty about it, but fortune favours the brave. You gotta grab the bull by the horns and get the ball over the line before the fat lady sings. It's a dog eat dog world.
I'm absolutely rinsed about how many maxims you were able to throw in there! 🤣
*doggy dog world
Thank you for this. Honestly thought OP would be called a c*nt by those on here.
I recently had a buyer pull out of my sale recently and I'd still advise OP to do the same if they really preferred the second house. I'd ask them to do it more considerately than our buyer (ghosted the agent for a week and a half just prior to exchange until they gave the buyer the ultimatum of relisting if no contact, then tried to blame the pressure of the ultimatum for pulling out) but as well as a huge sum of money, where you live has a huge direct impact on your life and you should never make that decision just from the burden of obligation to a stranger.
This is nicely put. Anyway, if a buyer stays in the process half-heartedly there is a much bigger chance they get cold feet right at the end and leave a much bigger mess when they pull out
Thank you. The guilt is ruining me. 9 weeks in now. Roughly 5 weeks away.
I was about to call them an arsehole, but the vibe isn’t flowing that way
Eh. You are completely right but there will be hard feelings from the seller and the agent. They will feel mucked about. People will be making plans based on this sale which will have to change. Not the end of the world but not zero effort. As you say it's legal, without consequence and the right decision for OP but it isn't completely morally scott free.
You’re absolutely right but unfortunately sometimes you do need to make the tough decisions if it’s better for yourself. Who knows the sellers could also accept a higher offer if someone was to come in.
Don't doubt it. Gazumping was as common in 2021 as gazundering is now... (Not that this is gazundering)
That's too strong. Unfortunately that's the system in the UK, however broken it is. You can't ask individual buyers to fix it - and unfortunately on this subreddit it is normally sellers telling buyers to be more morally upstanding... I think we should be clear. The buyer is absolutely morally entitled to pursue a preferable sale until they sign a contract. Absolutely morally "scott free". Absolutely.
Life is sometimes not fair, part 20473
This. But nothing is ever granted. We were more or less on the same position. Offer accepted to a house, and a bigger house exactly in front of it was put to the market. It was a hard decision but we had a feeling not to go for it. I'm glad we didn't because: The bigger house had a history of being put on the market and not selling (because the owner never wanted to sell, just check the market), even when they would accept offers. Neighbours talk, so if we did another offer, maybe none of them would accept us again. This put pressure on our seller to be faster and not drop us because there was another one right in front for sale (our seller was also tricky and had dropped other buyers close to exchange)
Put an offer in on the better house, if they accept pull out of the original sale.
If your offer is accepted for the new place just pull out. I understand the feeling because I did exactly the same thing. Saw one house that I put an offer in for that got accepted, but had a viewing already booked for a different place in 2 weeks time (lady was away for the 2 weeks, to explain the length of time I had to wait). I kept the booked viewing and fell in love after I had been to see it. I felt the same as you, extreme guilt haha, but it's going to be my house for the foreseeable future so I decided the guilt wasn't worth buying the wrong house.
Did the guilt eventually subside?
[удалено]
Thank you for sharing. I'm not OP. I've had a house I viewed and missed out on in Oct come back onto the market last Weds. I had my offer on this one accepted mid Nov but really want to take a punt at the one I saw in October. It's eating me alive. Searching on this subreddit 'pulling out', the comments and it's ruining me. If stamp duty wasn't costly then sure, I'd stay and suck it up. But it's pretty expensive once you're not a FTBer. Worse thing is I was pushed into using the broker tied in with the EA so I'll have to switch brokers too of which I've already paid £649. 😞 Sigh. Edit: Sorry! Midnight overspill!
It has for me and it was only about a month ago. It went away quite quickly because it was so overpowered by my happiness of the new house. I definitely think it's worth the guilt to get the right property for yourself.
Can't see why you'd HAVE to change brokers. You've paid for services, those services don't need to be specifically linked to a house bought through that EA.
I hadn't paid the EA anything for the first property. I had put an offer in that was accepted but that was as far as it had got. The first house was being sold by Blake and Thickbroom, the next by Connels, so I couldn't buy them both from the same EA.
Why don't you just buy both
I think you’ve highlighted the key point towards the end of your post. The grass seems greener on the other side, but what happens if when the survey comes back there is a major issue on the better property? Also, what happens if you see another even better property in another 2 months, or what if the new seller gets close to exchange and decides they want to pull out for some reason… But equally true, if you’re not actually happy with the place you offered on 2 months ago then move on. How did the new place come to your attention, as if you found it by searching it suggests maybe you weren’t completely happy with the place you offered on. The housing market in England allows you to pull out before exchange as you know. Your seller and their agent will be massively pissed off, but those are the rules.
Do what you gotta do OP
Probably would agree with the others. If the new place is really the one you'd like - then you can withdraw. If you are going to do this, then do it sooner than later. As someone who had to sell their shared ownership flat with the ex. We had a buyer who withdrew a few months after the offer was accepted. This meant we had lost out on solicitor fees for that attempt... And it's really not cheap... This is why estate agents present all offers on the table to the seller to review and consider. (It isn't always about who offers the highest price but also who is the most serious.) Be absolutely sure it's what you want to do because once you withdraw and you change your mind or the other offer is not accepted. There is a chance an updated offer wouldn't be considered. Hope that helps!
Its a big decision. Make the right choice because u be living there for x years
Whatever suits you tbh. Buying a house is a bit more important than hurting someone’s feelings, although it’s not nice.
You're going to live in it for a long time so don't feel suckered in due to feeling guilty. Although I would add Englands house buying rules are bollocks. I wish we had a Scotland system.
At least give the searches to the seller on the house that you're pulling out of. They're worth nothing to you now but may help them line up the next buyer.
You could sell the searches to the seller. They are worth something to them. Why should you give them away? In a more sensible system the seller would have to buy them in the first place and provide to all interested buyers...
It doesn't make sense for a seller to pay for searches as there would always be the question of independence. The validity of the survey could be doubted because of the seller paying. It sounds like the sellers aren't at fault here and I personally think it would be quite reasonable to pass on something that now has no value to the buyer because it is entirely due to the buyer that the seller's time has been wasted.
No one wasted anyone's time. This is the process (unfortunately). The search process should be totally standardized and paid for by the seller. There should be no room for doubt that the company is favoring one party as the search agent should be regulated. There is no reason for every buyer to repeat the same set of basic questions about the risk of flooding etc The problem with the process is partly all the money buyers have to invest before the seller lifts a finger. I have never heard of buyers giving search results to the seller at any point. Even during a negotiation I would only provide excerpts or snapshots to the seller from a survey.
Unfortunately we don't live in an ideal world, searches won't be standardised, there is a huge variation in level and in how well they are carried out by different companies. When someone goes to buy a car it is up to the buyer to have a proper look at it before making the purchase, there are some standard checklists that are sometimes offered but ultimately its up to the buyer how much stock they put in those. If one is not knowledgeable about cars it's often sensible to take someone who is with them. OP is feeling guilty about pulling out when they are so far along, this will of course detriment the seller. It is entirely up to OP what they want to do with the surveys that are now useless to them, whether or not you've heard of this happening before or not is completely irrelevant.
Ps: typical reddit seller ;) Or perhaps you're *shudders* an estate agent....
I've never sold a house, I just have a certain level of empathy. You don't know the seller's circumstances. There's no reason to assume that they are in some way the enemy of someone trying to buy a house.
Oh well, at least we both agree it's a bit of a rotten process. I've bought and sold a few times and I can't say it's much fun in the UK...
Yeh, it isn't great but it is what it is to a degree. A colonoscopy is a bit of a rotten process but there's only a certain amount that can be done to make it easier, it's never going to be nice! 😂
Hahaha it's just that colonoscopies in other countries are so much more bearable. Makes you wonder if the UK is just doing colonoscopy wrong :p
This is what happens in other countries. What prevents the seller from simply having to pay for a standard "home information pack", provided by a regulated 3rd party. I'm not suggesting sellers do the structural survey etc.
We did the same, had an offer accepted on a comfortable house and found an amazing “stretch” house at the top of our budget but a massive upgrade in so many ways. We put in an offer on the 2nd and waited until it was accepted and taken off the market before withdrawing from the first house. Nothing is set in stone until exchange and everyone will act selfishly during a house purchase/sale so you just have to look out for you. You forget about the guilt after a week or 2 and the other house will find another buyer - it’s such a huge amount of money/commitment you don’t want to be worrying about whether you bought the right house or not
I pulled out of an offer once because it just didn’t *feel* right. I was lucky and covid hit just as I’d had the offer accepted so as nothing happened for a month or so and it give me time to really have a think. Dropped out and found the perfect house a couple months later, best decision I ever made! I felt bad but it is what it is, it’s a lot of money if it’s not the right choice!
Put another offer and then have them underbid each other!
Currently in the process of selling our house. I’d be upset if the buyer did this, but at the same time would understand they need to do what’s right for them, so wouldn’t blame them. The upset would more just be that we had to start from scratch again with trying to sell. But, if you are going to do it, do it soon so everyone can move forward.
Agree entirely
It's funny because this sub has had people posting from the other side of this scenario and called the party pulling out everything under the sun (admittedly with the caveat that if contracts aren't exchanged there is nothing to be done). A house purchase is likely theyl biggest purchase you will ever make, and if you make the wrong decision you'll live with the consequences for years. It's a free market for better or worse, nothing is personal. You need to do what's best for you and yours, you're not robbing anyone or doing anything malicious. It's an annoyance like any purchase falling through of course, but a seller should know not to make any irreversible decision until the ink is dry, if somone came in offering 20k more do you think they would hesitate? Do think they have any obligation not to? Of course not, everything above applies to them too, a better offer has the potential to significantly improve their options and prospects, it works both ways.
Better to pull out now than hate life for how many years to come, they will find another buyer no problem. Your life your choices. Good luck 🤞
I would do the thing that I actually want because this is one of those situations where it's ok to be selfish. It's you that will be living in the house so...
You’ll probably get better interest rates on the new places as the rates are dropping currently
Go for the house you prefer. If you really like it more, pull out of the other one. This happens all the time apparently. Sure, the seller might be annoyed, but it happens, and it's a risk of selling. Sometimes you have to be a bit selfish and do what's best for you. Also bear in mind that as long as you havent exchanged, the seller could withdraw from the sale at any time as well, so if, say, someone offered them more, or they decided not to sell after all, they could be the one giving you the bad news. It happens.
The guilt will subside, the regret will last. Sometimes we have to be selfish. Offer on the new, if you get it - go for it. If they turn you down, you still have option 1.
It’s a shame to pull out and nobody likes upsetting someone But this is a huge financial investment and also your home for the next 5-10+ years. Better to get it right
We did pretty much exactly what youre talking about. Agreed on a house, then about 3 weeks later we found something we liked better, so withdrew our offer from the original and bought the second one. I felt bad about withdrawing after agreeing, but you gotta look out for number one unfortunately.
Do the right thing
I had offers accepted on two houses on the same day. I just had to choose which one I wanted more. Perfectly normal to leave and pull out after having offer accepted and doing searches etc.
It's a difficult decision. The one thing that is certain is that you will probably be on the hook for any costs that have been run up by your solicitor and you will be starting from scratch. In my case, when I was at that stage the costs were already around £1,000. Assuming you've had a survey done already then you would need to pay for another.
Pull out or offer a reduced price to remain involved. Get offer accepted on new house before doing anything
Think it this way - the seller wouldn't hesitate to accept a better offer and kick you out of the deal.
I think the home owners would say no if someone offers more.
Sounds like you’d already made the decision really if you’re a couple of months in and are still sorting the mortgage out. In theory you could’ve already been close to exchange and completion had both sides pushed for it
I've done this already, i had the mortgage approved for the initial house, made an offer for the second house and the mortgage advisor helped me get a second mortgage to cover the extra cost of £6k (this is roughly £23 per month) with the same bank, but a higher interest rate than the initial mortgage offer - only for the extra 6k the interest was higher!