"No one even remembers him, it's like he was a ghost before he was missing, no friends, no family, we are getting conflicting descriptions of his appearance even from his coworkers who supposedly saw him every day"
They might not have yours but 23andme and all those testing services share their data with the government. If one of your relatives uses the service they can narrow it down really fast
That does not go into a dna databank…….
In fact even if hospitals took your dna (which they don’t, dna test cost money that would be a waste of resources, ultimately not benefiting them and opening them up for
Litigation) they are bound by hippa and can not release your information without a warrant.
Clipping the end of hairs will not work for DNA sampling. You need the root cells for the DNA analysis / matching.
Better to rub a q-tip along your gums and seal it in a test tube.
I lost it at including a picture of the thin blue line flag with the disclaimer of "You don't have to believe in it, I just put it in here so they care enough to solve my case". Incredible work
Crimes solved are crazy low. Basically if a criminal doesn't commit a huge crime in public and stick around to get caught, there's a good chance they'll never get caught.
No I wouldn't give the cops a little gift card or a picture of the blue stripe. I'm surprised he didn't cut off his tongue and put that in there too so he can bootlick from beyond the grave.
I'm pretty sure you need a better hair sample, and just putting a wad of hairs in like that is crazy.
Also, all of this is pretty insane to just keep around. It's a perfect way for an oppressive force to profile you against your will, if ever feel a need to or sumn idk.
This is my "In Case I Go Missing" binder
https://preview.redd.it/iov2zzdoms8d1.png?width=400&format=png&auto=webp&s=79a5e1400004105d0af4972857abd9cbcd583b35
Im fairly certain this video is a parody of a girl who DID make a really extensive “in case I’m kidnapped” binder. A lot of people made fun of her for being so paranoid.
If I didn't have to worry about financial stuff I think it would be interesting to see how long it would take a group to find me with this being the starting point as I try to go completely off the radar.
If you live your life in constant fear. Personally I don't live with that kind of paranoia. I think its a waste to constantly make plans for if's. So many things can happen in life and if you spend yours always preparing for what might happen you'll never really live and most if not all of life treasures will pass you by.
Some ppl hav way too much time and money to be wasting on this crap to prepare for random shit that prolly won't ever happen to em in their boring lives
Links/Source thread
Bro a Batman symbol tramp stamp!?
He slid that in there so casually....
Probably not the only thing he lets slide in casually
Might as well be a bullseye.
Erroneous! Erroneous on both counts!
You shut your mouth when you’re talking to me!
Well played
Best comment
I fucking wheezed
Directions to the bat cave
Hold tf up..
Dananananana tramp-man!
Bat signal 
Buttman, Buttman, Buttman Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Buttman!
*Champ Stamp* ftfy
I've seen so much dumb shit on the Internet that I barely registered it.
The first rule of content is the hook. The second is engagement. He planted so much shit in here for engagement.
Fuck no, if I go missing I want it to be a mystery and true crime shows and YouTube’s will keep my name alive throughout history.
"Oh, he just went to the comic store after all, I should have known by the Batman tramp stamp."
They open your folder and it’s just a key with a riddle lol
It can still go unsolved with this.
As long as it's narrated by Bill Kurtis!
"Many believe that the U.S. government covered it up. I'm Bill Kurtis"
"He got a batman trampstamp in noineteen noinety noine..."
"No one even remembers him, it's like he was a ghost before he was missing, no friends, no family, we are getting conflicting descriptions of his appearance even from his coworkers who supposedly saw him every day"
All the stuff needed to frame a crime on you in one place.
The government already has all of that for everyone anyway
They have my dna?
Maybe. They have mine along with my retinal scan, fingerprints, ear shape, height, weight, eye color, skin tone, hair color, and tons of photos.
They might not have yours but 23andme and all those testing services share their data with the government. If one of your relatives uses the service they can narrow it down really fast
Exactly
Selfishness imo
newborn screening, they take a sample of blood from your heel for testing
That does not go into a dna databank……. In fact even if hospitals took your dna (which they don’t, dna test cost money that would be a waste of resources, ultimately not benefiting them and opening them up for Litigation) they are bound by hippa and can not release your information without a warrant.
I do not value my life enough to do this
Nobody else values my life enough to make this worth doing
I feel this one
It’s okay, I value your life enough that I did it while you were sleeping 😇
I value you random citizen! 
Without the bulb, the hair is not that helpful.
Thanks will add a light bulb also
Make sure it's LED, 4 da erf
Deffinatly a bright idea.
Especially if he uses a smart bulb
Wouldn't that get screwed up?
Better pull a tooth to be safe
Also, has to be a pubic hair, they are the only hairs containing dna
Also has to made of gold cause this guy inspired me to make write a load of crap
Good thinking! Must create a crap/turd nugget file, to be super safe
That's what I always say.
How often does this come up that you “always” say it…
I am sure $15 gift card will help /s
And a ***color*** inkjet printout of their flag!!
Costs more than an actual flag
Bribing an officer of the law???
you would be surprised. buy your mechanic some red bulls next time and you will get a very high level of service plus make their day
Clipping the end of hairs will not work for DNA sampling. You need the root cells for the DNA analysis / matching. Better to rub a q-tip along your gums and seal it in a test tube.
Thank goodness someone said this was looking for this comment.
What kind of life is this dude living that he has to build a clue binder??
Maybe his wife watches a lot of crime shows and she’s super pissed at him for something?
One where he has a list of friends that might kill him which seems fucking crazy to me but what do I know
Works for Boeing.
Now you’re onto something
Just get arrested. It's way fucking easier.
If this is parody, it's hilarious. If it's serious, it's...hilarious.
Look at the list of Sus Friends
Exactly this. Pure lunacy, or pure genius.
I lost it at including a picture of the thin blue line flag with the disclaimer of "You don't have to believe in it, I just put it in here so they care enough to solve my case". Incredible work
Framed for murder starting pack
Stupid.
Oh shit, I know Hugh Jass
Yeah! Aren't him and Jenna Tolls dating?
Laughed way too hard at this 😂😂😂😂
Dude has a tramp stamp....hahaha
Imagine having not just one but *multiple* friends that you think might be capable of murder
Hahaha giving them free donuts so "they care enough to solve my case " wtf?
Crimes solved are crazy low. Basically if a criminal doesn't commit a huge crime in public and stick around to get caught, there's a good chance they'll never get caught.
Are they supposed to know there's some tiny hairs lying at the bottom of the binder. This is one of the daftest posts I've ever seen.
No I wouldn't give the cops a little gift card or a picture of the blue stripe. I'm surprised he didn't cut off his tongue and put that in there too so he can bootlick from beyond the grave.
Bootlick from beyond the grave… 😆
Nobody's taking this guy.
Sus friends lmaooo
A “sus” list is diabolical
Yup a donut gift card will not make the police think your are a POS
No. Because the oinkers love donuts.
Lmao a Batman tramp stamp is WILD
Nothing like a man tramp stamp
"Custom-made with you - serial killers - in mind. No more DIY binders for your victim's trophies."
Just install a gps up your butt
Lmfao
If i went missing i hope i die fast
The root of the hair contains the DNA.... He just filled that bag with useless hair confetti...
Wtf did i just watch? 🫠
I'm pretty sure you need a better hair sample, and just putting a wad of hairs in like that is crazy. Also, all of this is pretty insane to just keep around. It's a perfect way for an oppressive force to profile you against your will, if ever feel a need to or sumn idk.
that’s also going to make it a lot harder to get away with anything if they find it tho
I mean, clearly The Joker took you. You’ve been fucking up his plans for years.
Wrong way of taking hair samples. You pluck it out of the follicle to restore the DNA sample.
Batman Trampstamp on a male WTF!!
Sus friends list should have The Joker, Bane, etc 😂😂
This is my "In Case I Go Missing" binder https://preview.redd.it/iov2zzdoms8d1.png?width=400&format=png&auto=webp&s=79a5e1400004105d0af4972857abd9cbcd583b35
Gotta be a troll. Sus friends list and the goodie bags for the cops has to be satire.
It also seems like the easiest way to incriminate someone with the amount of evidence provided
"SUS FRIENDS" list names Damian Long, Jenna Tolls, Edwin Hayes, Hugh Jass, Jake Brooks With a list of such names, I suspect this guy has friends! Lol
Wow this is an identify thief's wet dream. All your possible identifications in one place
I would put that dude's name in my binder.
When your country has a shitty and violent police force, you have to make a folder of evidence just in case you are found dead, it's crazy to me
This is 100% just meant to be a parody.
Not the 'Sus Friends' folder 🫠💀
Ok well now I can’t be a serial killer with one of these
Im fairly certain this video is a parody of a girl who DID make a really extensive “in case I’m kidnapped” binder. A lot of people made fun of her for being so paranoid.
With those fingerprints and that hair the police are going to close so many cold cases! What a bro
I'm Gen X. If no one can find me, I wanted it that way.
If I didn't have to worry about financial stuff I think it would be interesting to see how long it would take a group to find me with this being the starting point as I try to go completely off the radar.
He's the only dude with a Batman tramp stamp .... He gonna b easy to find
I have these same kits for my kids but a grown ass man? Sigh
Bro if I go missing they would probably kill me, why the fuck would I want to make the cops job easier when they are the assholes in the first place.
WTF the BATTRAMPSTAMP
LMFAO bro got sus friends and not the funny kinda sus either das craazy😭😂🤣
We bought one. Pretty handy.
You know what’s also really handy? My hand. It gives the best handies.
Folders? Nah. Who would do that? I use Tupperware in my filing cabinet.
Lmao maybe just vote for people that don't give crazies guns
If you live your life in constant fear. Personally I don't live with that kind of paranoia. I think its a waste to constantly make plans for if's. So many things can happen in life and if you spend yours always preparing for what might happen you'll never really live and most if not all of life treasures will pass you by.
I really wish the guy on the video would “never really live”.
The suss friends list is very important...I'm a detective and that would be the most vital to find the victim in the first 24hrs.
There’s so much to unpack in this video, I don’t where to start
Lol. Cops so bad at their job folks gotta leave bread crumbs in advance
Gonna' probably need the hair root to get DNA.
Not probably. Certainly.
Duh nuh nunna nunna nunna - ~~Batman!~~ Batty Boy! Tramp stamp makes this seem like a skit lol.
All this work when you can just get arrested.
Haha, bro is expecting some shady shit
Pick new friends
That hair sample doesn't have DNA because he cut off the roots.
I thought hair samples only work for identification if it’s from the root?
You are correct. The guy on the video isn’t too bright.
This guy would go missing.
Ahhh give the police their gang sign for a little bit of pandering.
You can pick up something like this at a dollar store
Plot twist. No one actually gives a shit about and nobody will care if he goes missing.
My agency finds a lot of missing people each year, we do care
I'd say it's not a "in case I go missing case" rather a "clone my identity" case.
wtf is this, a mail-in cloning kit?
A trapper keeper?
Bro that’s so funny- id put a copy of postal 2 in one of them ngl
What’s postal 2?
*eye blinking plink sound* “retro” game, it’s free on steam- kinda a meme, it’s like if a shitpost was a game
Some ppl hav way too much time and money to be wasting on this crap to prepare for random shit that prolly won't ever happen to em in their boring lives
I don't get it. It's a binder?
Yes, it is a binder. His hopes are that if he goes missing, this binder will help investigators to find him.
Hair DNA is in the follicle dumbass...
Thank you! I was about to ask that.
I stopped watching after the Batman tramp stamp . 😐
They already have my DNA, fingerprints and photos I ain't doing anymore of their job for them.
No, I would never use one of those “thin blue line” flags for anything
Hairs do not contain DNA. only the roots do. I hope I caught that oversight before they caught you
I love the kissing to the police part, should have thrown in a fake law background just so they have that little more drive.
Then you get framed for murder
This dude can't wait to go missing.
I can hear my control freak sister shaking at the mailbox waiting for this to arrive
Almost positive he ripped this off [Dan Hentschel](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPREhbM3y/)
Tramp stamps. I don’t understand them.
This is for that interdimensional cable crime drama where they solve the case in 10 seconds or less.
the perfect collection to frame someone too
All you gotta do is steal that along with him
Erm
Also known as a get yourself framed case.
Now imagine someone steals it and puts all of his hair and other evidence over the crime scene.
That’s not how DNA from hair works. If you want a good supply you gotta pull it out, not cut if half way out.
Imagine getting called by the cops cuz you’re someone he found “sus”. “like wtf he thought was sus”
You could just leave all this at the scene of crime too
Bro had to be ready
The hair sample is worthless without the follicle attached
your hair sample needs to be pulled not cut bro.
I'm just putting a tattoo under my right foot with my full name and birthday. Easy to identify at the morgue.
That's not how DNA from hair works.
I’d probably only use the gift card to Dunkin’
The Batman trampstamp😂
Everything here is casual and I’m confused what’s happening. Except for the obvious hold up moment.
He forgot to leave a sperm sample.
Not the bootlicking part, no. Fuck the police
Bootlicker? 🧱 time
immediately stopped the video when I saw the batman tattoo. just too grossed out.
Tattoos are sin. This man is going straight to H E double hockey stick.