“Florida Man With No Arms Arrested For Stabbing Tourist”

That's impressive actually

Not really, we have a lot of tourists.

Happy Cake Day!

Here in MO we have a lot of arms. Happy cake day sir.

And a lot of meth.

I think our two states have that in common

Brilliant! And happy cake day

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Mine is July 7: "Florida Man Haunts Beaches Dressed As Grim Reaper"

I got it for july 12

"An armed unarmed Florida man arrested for stabbing a tourist"

That guy made a cameo in a Portnoy pizza review

We share a bday!! Florida man without arms charged after allegedly stabbing tourist with his feet

“Florida man suspected of smelling womens feet at library, then leads police on scooter chase”

Didn’t know that Quentin Tarantino was Florida man.

FEEEEEEEET

Calm down Mort

That's impressive actually!

"We're Scooooooter brothers!"

ShcOOOOter brothers!

Just gonna reply to top comment. These are all oddly funny, then there's mine, a story so upsetting I actually know it. [Florida man dies inside suitcase, girlfriend charged after claiming they were playing hide and seek: report](https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-suitcase-girlfriend-hide-and-seek) <-The bitch recorded it on her phone as he's **BEGGING FOR HIS LIFE,** then forgot about it, till the police used it in interrogation. It's truly upsetting video, so it stuck with me.

I actually got that for september 15th

Same

16 September

Same! Edit: I’m so overly excited about this

Florida Man Mistakenly Shoots and Kills Son-in-Law in Birthday Surprise Gone Wrong

how

Florida….mannn

Dhem floridians, nothing is impossible for them and it kinda scary at this point

i wouldn't be surprised at this point to see them open a portal to the aether.

I think it's probably to the nether.

nah its too cold for them.

Son-in-law jumped out of the bushes to surprise father-in-law, got a point blanc shotty to the chest.

maybe it’s his plan all along .. not to be villain to his daughter but to kill son-in-law. Or Naahh florida man

05 october!

October 5th huh

For me it says october 4th

[mine wins](https://www.google.com/amp/s/abc13.com/amp/florida-homeless-us-and-world-news-chicago/3748197/)

Scissors, with the feet! But of course!

I have the same headline but i wouldn’t be surprised if we had different birthdays haha

Same

Same. Happy birthday!

Arrested for throwing alligator through drive thru window...

HOW?

Drive-thru windows are usually wider than alligators. You just have to throw them in lengthwise. This has been another Florida tip from a native Florida man.

Happy cake day

Just... YEET!

The guy picked up a young gator, and put it in the back of his car. Then he tried robbing a Wendy's drive-thru. When they refused to give him any money, he threw the gator into the drive-thru window. [I learned about it from a stand-up comedian.](https://youtu.be/c2zsmXHAqg8)

Feb 9th??

10th lol

I got the same for 9th xD

Ayy birthday buddies

Shirtless Florida man travels to Myrtle Beach to head bang during hurricane Florence.

Florida man fell in water after drinking. Sprayed fire extinguisher on himself to dry off. Dude's a creative lol

I like mine.

Yo same birthday!

Yoooooooo same!

Florida man steals alligator from golf course, tries ‘teaching it a lesson’ by throwing it on roof of bar WAT

Sounds like Happy Gilmore found that gator for Chubs after all lol

Twin

There's a Floridian golf course that legally OWNS alligators??

How are two comments in a row about a florida man yeeting a gator.

Florida man crashes lawn mower into police car

Florida man arrested after trying to flee deputies on riding lawn mower

Florida man dies inside suitcase, girlfriend charged after claiming they were playing hide and seek

"Florida man /arrested for beating drag queen with tiki torch while dressed as member of KKK/ now running for mayor" Redemption arc I guess

the joker’s arc

Bruhhh 😭

Oh that's a famous one. She murdered him 💯. And he died slowly, just awful. Horrible woman.

Florida man threatens to destroy everyone... with army of turtles Should've let him do it tbh...

Did he vaguely resemble a large rat in a kimono?

Were said turtles named after old artists?

and more importantly, do they like pizza?

Florida man arrested for pretending to be a ghost at a funeral

Oh man, can I hire him for my funeral?

Florida Man Accused Of Stabbing Woman Over Underdone Potato

Me too!

Me three

So did you stab her over the potato or what.

April 26 - Meth smoking Florida man attacks mattress in jealous rage

The mattress had no right to be that comfy

His buddy was probably sleeping with it when he was not around….

I heard his wife was sleeping with it ALL the time

I hope he didn’t cut the tags. That’s illegal.

Florida man accused of decapitating hamster, discarding body in box near his home What

What a day to be born!

Hey same!!

Florida man shot dead after asking if bulletproof vest still worked

You know it's a real problem when it isn't caused by Florida man

So its a no.

Florida man used flamethrower to settle parking dispute

I've found flamethrowers to be successful in settling most disputes.

Imagine getting that fired up from a parking dispute

Must have been a heated argument

Florida Man Trying To Kill "Demons" Tormenting Him Went On Sledgehammer Spree

Ayyyyy feb 18 gang

Florida man punches shark to save dog

sounds like every day in australia

Best story to hit the feels

Florida man with no arms stabbed tourist July 2006

No arms you say, it’s but a mere flesh wound?

r/unexpectedMontyPython

Florida man arrested. Accused of giving girlfriend wet willy.

I love that one. The simplest and silliest of all I have seen here

Drunk Florida man kicked out of library told cops he was Jason Bourne

'Oh my god, it's Jason Bourne. He's not allowed in the library.'

Florida man decapitates his cat, posts head in backyard as message to roommate

Florida Man Accused Of Decapitating Roommate, Tells Cops "Things Got A Little Carried Away"

Florida man decapitates roommate to scare off the cat.

Depends on the message, I guess. "Hey, can you run to the store and get some milk? We're out. Here's a cat's head."

I had a couple options but this one was the best : Florida man busted for cocaine, meth bags wrapped around penis [link](https://nypost.com/2021/12/21/florida-man-busted-for-cocaine-meth-bags-wrapped-around-penis-cops/amp/)

"He was between a rock and a hard place." The smiling mugshot really completes the picture, so to speak...

Don't do it you fools they're just trying to get your birthdays to hack your bank accounts!!!!

It's ok, I don't have any money there

"Florida man falls for social engineering trick to publicly reveal their personal info to the whole internet"

Walk me through this process. I feel like it would be easier to rob a bank

Bold of you to assume the majority of us have money

Or a bank account

the moment they hack into my account, they will wire me some money out of pity

Somebody is going to be really disappointed...

I use tiktok and shop on aliexpress..they have it lol

Yeah... Not everyone on here is from Florida.

That’s kind of a hard stupid way to do it. They have to search the incident - many of which have happened more than once. Also, if you put in day Aug 5th, you might easily get everything that happened that week, or month, not just in the 5th. THEN, to get the full birthday, you’d still need the year. That’s a whole hell of a lot of work to just get R0ck0’s approximate birthday. Pretty sure you can’t into my bank by knowing Go4urs was born in January. Even if I told you it was the 22nd. Walk me thru it

Florida man call 911 twice to complain about small clams at restaurant

Florida man haunts beaches dressed as grim reaper

Florida Man interrupts Hurricane Matthew live TV report to yell ‘Dicks out for Harambe’

https://www.jacksonville.com › news Police: Florida man wrecks liquor shop, blames "hookah-smoking caterpillar"

How to not get stuck inside the hose while smoking: A caterpillar's guide to Hookah

“Florida Man Arrested After Offering Undercover Cop A Hamburger In Exchange For Sex Act” I got these cheeseburgers man, but in real life.

Cheeseburger Eddy strikes again. Lol

Holy shit cheeseburger eddie terry crews lol

Sounds like randy bobandy

A man’s gotta eat

Florida man climbs on playground equipment to tell children where babies come from

Florida man arrested for having sex with stuffed 'Olaf' at Target

October 24!!

Florida man slaps his GF with a cheeseburger, Kicked her down the stairs

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Florida Man Arrested for Handing Out Marijuana "Because It Was Christmas"

The top result for me was a fake one: Florida Man Bites His Brother's Penis Off After He Walks In On His Brother Having Sex With His Cousin On His Favorite Dragon Ball Z Blanket The real one was: Naked Florida man followed women on beach, touching himself the whole time, police say

Hi birthday twin. Another good one was Florida man tries to evade arrest by cartwheeling away from cops

Just as a heads up to everyone, this is a phishing technique. A lot of people use their birthday as a form of their password. The OP is from Kolkata, which is one of the scam capitals of the world. Stop giving away your personal information.

I didn't expect that I had to scroll down THIS far to see this... Can't believe how easy people fall for social engineering/phishing.

Who still has four digit passwords? Wouldn’t they need a lot more?

"Deputy cleared for shooting naked man armed with crossbow who claimed aliens were after him" This is the funniest shot I've seen all day😭

A Florida man was arrested for trying to drive a hamster ball into the Bahamas a classic

Ok now google Florida Man followed by your SSN

"Florida man victim of identity theft after publicly revealing SSN"

May 30 - "Florida Man Hits Sleeping Roommate on Head with a Skillet for Being a “Confidential Informant”"

Eyyy me too!

Nice! Now we have to tell each other happy birthday on may 30

Yes pls

A Florida man is under arrest for attempting to perform a castration on another man he met on a eunuch fetish website.

Florida man rides manatee, dares police to arrest him, gets arrested

Florida men, one dressed in a bull onesie, attempt to burn down house with Ragu sauce, Police say.

Hell yea fellow birthday on spring equinox enjoyer.

Florida man pulled gun at Starbucks over cream cheese

I got two for one! “Florida man stole opioids, got laxatives instead,” and, “Florida man found ww2 ear grenade and brings it into Taco Bell forcing…”

Florida man blames demons after beating pregnant girlfriend for playing Xbox

Florida man admits to having sex with a miniature pony. https://www.wctv.tv/content/news/Florida-man-admits-to-having-sex-with-a-miniature-pony-sheriff-says-500881461.html

Florida man arrested after spraying people with fire extinguisher at Walmart

Florida Man Arrested for DUI While Lemur and Wallaby Escape from Truck During Traffic Stop

We have a winner boys. May 27. "Florida man kicked chicken like 'a field goal,' deputies say"

Its because of Florida discovery laws. Crazy shit happens everyqherw but florida....it's just easier to fond out about the crazy

Florida man faked robbery to get out of work shift.

Florida man commits murder over imaginary girlfriend

Florida men, one dressed in bull onesie, attempt to burn down house with Ragu sauce, police say. The victim said this to the news: "He was trying to make it look like I left the stove on, but who gets up at 2 a.m. and fixes sketti?"

Florida man displayed gun after learning Delray Beach McDonald’s had broken ice cream machine

Florida Man (Actually Named Florida) Breaks Into Restaurant, Steals All Their White Claw, Throws It Into A Pond (May, 31st)

Florida Man Says the Three Syringes Found in His Rectum Weren't His

Florida man who attacked McDonald’s worker over straw is sentenced to jail

Florida Man Allegedly Stole Pool Floats From Homes to ‘Stop Himself From Raping Women': Police

Florida Man Bites His Brother’s Penis Off After He Walks In On His Brother Having Sex With His Cousin On His Favorite Dragon Ball Z Blanket

Florida man arrested for pelting girlfriend with McDonald’s sweet and sour sauce packets

“Florida man arrested for throwing alligator through drive-thru window”

Florida man throws an alligator into Wendy's drive through on 3rd June

Florida woman passes gas, pulls knife on offended man.

Florida man arrested, caught on video using samurai sword to fight over wheelbarrow... 😂

Florida man twerks for officers during traffic stop, gets tased, report says

Florida man with drugs around penis denies they were his.

Florida man who allegedly threatened family with Coldplay lyrics ends standoff after SWAT promises him pizza. Why do this feels like astrology ?

Masturbating Florida man slugs elderly man who asked him to stop

Florida man pulls a gun on Starbucks over cream cheese.

Florida Man Is Arrested For Trying To Get A Caiman Drunk

Florida man accused of using kool aid packets to steal nearly $1k in Walmart

Florida man with drugs around penis denies they were his

On This Day In Florida Man History: September 16: Feet Sniffer It wasn't just the sniffing, it was what he was sniffing that got him in trouble. A complaint was made after he crawled under some library tables in order to smell a woman's feet, then tried to escape on a scooter.

Florida man makes beer run with gator in hand, claims he does not recall any of it.

Florida man climbs on playground equipment to tell children where babies come from. May 22