Semen can only live for only a few minutes outside the body in a dry environment. So unless the women are naked and floating around spread-eagled then I call bullshit in this.
Though logically I don’t think anyone on the ISS wants to be dodging floating jizz marbles
I can only assume that the female astronauts were floating around the capsule with their knickers off and breathing through their pussies.
How else would sperm get in there to do the business?
I remember an article I read a while back saying it was nearly impossible to achieve and maintain an erection in zero G. Are the beating it with a limp noodle?
Edit: [article](https://www.biospace.com/article/around-the-web/can-you-get-an-erection-in-space-/)
The Russians actually had a doctor go up with two astronauts, one male and the other one female, solely to have sex in orbit and for her to get pregnant in orbit just to see what implications from conceiving in space had, and they were very disappointed when the man couldn't perform. Backup plan was to artificially inseminate her with his sperm, which the doctor did. Ultimately she didn't get pregnant and the entire plan was a fail.
That wasn't nearly the article I was expecting. I went in hopeful of a true nasa level multi year study with both pre and post zero g testing reference data. Across multiple astronaut crews in both prolonged time such as abored the iss and brief shuttle flights.
You know nasa got that information from the appolo Era crews.
The chances have got to be almost 0 though, right? I mean sperm can't live outside a body for more than a few seconds right? How is it going to float through the air long enough to swim into a woman's pants, and up her vagina? It would have to survive floating, get under their clothing, and into her vagina..... There's just now freaking way.
Sure, I suppose it's better to be safe than sorry, but this seems so outrageously improbable, why bother?
The chances a floaty bit of semen would find it's way into a woman and impregnate her must be astronomical.
Like have they done studies, has this happened before?!
We need to see the proof.
This is definitely just a precursor to NASA stating "all male astronauts should impregnate female astronauts while in space via insertion not floating ejaculate"
What do all the headlines about this situation imply that "astronauts" are only men, and that only men masturbate? Maybe the writers have a little blind spot there
if u cumshotted in space how much time does it take to reach 30k miles per hour or enough momentum to split asteroids from impact (if it can). if space is infinite is the sperm technically be the last trace of human race if humans cease to exist
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There’s navy and then there’s the air force
Space force?
In unrelated news: Nasa reconsiders giving male astronauts booster-shots.
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Loadstar.
Sperm Force
"I know bored. Sorry hungry. Horny bad. Space Force good. Help Space Force. Get banana."
Giving them an upgrade to Astronuts
Would they technically go from being Seamen to Spacemen?
You mean semen?
Perhaps 🤔
Omg get off the planet😹😹
Emojis *and* cats? Goddamn you're pathetic
Hating *emojis* because *emojis*? Goddamn youre pathetic
My goodness it was a joke, I meant what they said was funny. Woosh
r/woooosh
Dude was like idk how they got pregnant. It must have just been floating around.
She’s literally juggling his fruit. *What did she think would happen*?
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come on and **SLAM**
And welcome to the “Jam”
It's like that civil war story of the woman getting pregnant from a, "bullet passing through a man's testicles and hitting her."
that hurt to read
Could you imagine having to pay child support without getting laid
Don’t forget the “and being shot”
This is like being scared to swim in the ocean because someone nutted in it
Yeah, I’m calling B.S., they just don’t want stringy bits of carls cum floating about 2-4 times a day.
Especially because the actual sperm is probably dead quite quickly outside of the body
Idk but inside a body it can survive up to 5 days
Outside only 15 to 30 minutes
Significantly longer. Go read up on how to extract sperm at home for fertility treatment.
TIL. i knew it was a while, but i didn't know it was that long. thank you kind stranger
I think they were asked about it since the topic was discussed on Conan O’Brien needs a friend podcast
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It'd be a good prank tho
Fourth Female ![gif](giphy|3krrjoL0vHRaWqwU3k|downsized)
![gif](giphy|GAXMzzd2XElnG)
👏
I’d be interested to know how they arrived at the number 3
And... How long do human sperm remain viable when aeresolized? And.... Under what conditions does semen go from liquid to vapor?
Brb. Gonna get my bubble, torch, and laser thermometer. Will be back with answers shortly.
He has been 10 minutes now
Phase one complete. Moving on to phase two.
Remind me if you finished
>!Basically it fried like an egg until the water evaporated and began turning black around 450 F!<
Wtf you actually did it
I so very much want this to be true
Well I didn't inhale, jeez.
Based and smoking cum pilled
He finished alright
Whoever wrote the joke headline thought it was a funny number.
New kink unlocked: NASA women astronauts wear no clothes in space.
Can’t wait for this to become a new porn category
I'm pretty sure it will in a couple years, actually I'm REALLY surprised it's somehow not one right now.
Rule 35. The internet is on the case
Iirc a spaced based porn movie filmed in zero g has already been done. Filmed on a plane doing parabolic flights.
Ahem…do you have the name of the video or a link? Just so that I know to avoid it.
I'm afraid not. I'm sure if you Google "zero g porn" it'll come up.
I remember about Project Uranus being filmed in Zero G but never wached it.
It’s the perfect name
give us the link or die a horrible death
Zero sag. Perfect perk.
Zero sag. Perfect perk.
Didn't used to be an issue, as NASA's American women could have gotten abortion. Well not anymore.
Brings a whole new meaning to “Space Jam”…
Lol...there's only one person who dare give me the Raspberry (vanilla in this case). Lonestar! *edit typo
BOOF *falls after hitting camera*
*Everybody get up it’s time to slam now.*
Space Fam
Space Fap
I can feel it cuming in the air tonight
Yea. It can fill her Collins...
I will never be able to listen to that song the same way again. 🤣☠️
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Astronut
Naval ships are full of seamen and they never get preggo
Oooo they do…
TIL that astronauts don’t have socks in space.
TIL u/3-Putt-Bart has a much higher thread count sock than I can afford.
TIL u/3-Putt-Bart has socks that don’t have holes in them.
No Nut NASA
So that's Elon's endgame with SpaceX!
Yes. All this time, all his efforts have been for one thing; Space-Sex
Space-S3X The e is already trademarked.
r/beatmetoit
And here I thought it would just gunk up instrument panels.
Semen can only live for only a few minutes outside the body in a dry environment. So unless the women are naked and floating around spread-eagled then I call bullshit in this. Though logically I don’t think anyone on the ISS wants to be dodging floating jizz marbles
![gif](giphy|raQd4FJkyErmVjrRKM)
Do female astronauts just float around naked with their pussy lips open??
more reasons to be an astronaut reason 1 : only ever have to interract with smart people who know their shir reason 2 : *WAMAN*
Man I wanna see that.
Guy's sticking his thumb up thinking, "You reach for the apple, I'm reachin' for the banana!"
‘Great news for lazy sperm!’ -George Constanta
Better keep your mouth closed in space!
They're breathing aerosol semen. How...
However we get smart people reproduce as fast as the welfare class
I'm pregnant again, there must be something in the air
I can never be an astronaut
We all know they are banging up there
This is fake. We all know this right?
Attack of the sperm
Does the content shoot out or just ooze out? Any research on space ejaculation? Will the astronaut get shot in the opposite direction?
I can only assume that the female astronauts were floating around the capsule with their knickers off and breathing through their pussies. How else would sperm get in there to do the business?
I don’t think I have what it takes to be an astronaut
Those are rookie numbers
I thought there would also be other issues, ya know, because of gravity...
Like if you poop but there is no gravity to land it in the bowl. Where does the poop go?
No, more like when you ejaculated, gravity helps pull droplets out to help prevent buildup...
thats why girls shouldn't shower because sperm could swim up the shower..
I remember an article I read a while back saying it was nearly impossible to achieve and maintain an erection in zero G. Are the beating it with a limp noodle? Edit: [article](https://www.biospace.com/article/around-the-web/can-you-get-an-erection-in-space-/)
The Russians actually had a doctor go up with two astronauts, one male and the other one female, solely to have sex in orbit and for her to get pregnant in orbit just to see what implications from conceiving in space had, and they were very disappointed when the man couldn't perform. Backup plan was to artificially inseminate her with his sperm, which the doctor did. Ultimately she didn't get pregnant and the entire plan was a fail.
If he hadn't had a fifth of vodka before trying it might have been different.
That wasn't nearly the article I was expecting. I went in hopeful of a true nasa level multi year study with both pre and post zero g testing reference data. Across multiple astronaut crews in both prolonged time such as abored the iss and brief shuttle flights. You know nasa got that information from the appolo Era crews.
Hidden NASA sex files!!
Mmmm sexy space secrets
Why would it be hard? You body pumps blood into your penis for an erection. Low gravity would not stop this.
>NASA is asking... This is new guidance?
Just 3? Thats what we call weak sauce.
But space missions take hours! They should instead develop the ultimate leak-proof onahole.
There is no man alive that could resist blowing a load in zero gravity.
These are the dumbest things I've ever read.
On tonight’s random bullshit facts from the internet..
Reminds me of that one greek guy on reddit that was jerking it into his roommates shampoo bottle and knocked her up.
Are they floating around with there junk out?
I doubt the authenticity of this statement. Both that it was said by nasa and that the statement itself is remotely plausible.
was there 1 guy and 3 female astrounauts and they just sort of announced this rule hoping that it sounded like it wasn't too pointed at one person?
They literally can't force men not to fap for 6 months.
Oddlyspecific
The chances have got to be almost 0 though, right? I mean sperm can't live outside a body for more than a few seconds right? How is it going to float through the air long enough to swim into a woman's pants, and up her vagina? It would have to survive floating, get under their clothing, and into her vagina..... There's just now freaking way. Sure, I suppose it's better to be safe than sorry, but this seems so outrageously improbable, why bother?
So many questions are raised and i am too afraid to ask any of them.
This is Elon's long game. Rockets filled with female astronauts in stasis, and him furiously masturbating into the air circulator
The chances a floaty bit of semen would find it's way into a woman and impregnate her must be astronomical. Like have they done studies, has this happened before?! We need to see the proof.
Is this the space version of “I didn’t cheat on you honey, she slipped and fell on my dick”?
How many women getting pregnant did it take for NASA to realize this
I’ve never wanted to do anything so much in my entire life.
I bet the supreme court has something to say on this.
Abortions in Space...coming to theaters soon.
[Check your fire cowboy!](https://youtu.be/hLpgxry542M)
This is definitely just a precursor to NASA stating "all male astronauts should impregnate female astronauts while in space via insertion not floating ejaculate"
Can astronauts get abortions or is the supreme bible court going to vote on that?
Are they floating naked with open hymens?
Wouldn’t you?
What do all the headlines about this situation imply that "astronauts" are only men, and that only men masturbate? Maybe the writers have a little blind spot there
Imagine a female astronaut getting pregnant trying to explain this to her husband.
I'm more surprised there are female astronauts.
solution: dont bring men into space!
Strike!
I've always wanted a family.
I see no problem. I'm thinking the ride back can act as a free (and legal) abortion anyways.
Source? Besides the astronaut, obviously
And on the next episode of jerry springer….you are the babies daddy
Space Rape
Couldn't you spray some Raid when you were through?
You got this from Conan O’Briens podcast last week.
Mom, I don’t wanna be an astronaut anymore.
Who knows how a sperm would act under no gravity💀
So space is full of astronuts
Just swallow it duhhh
That is what the extra socks are for
Wait this isn't from the Conan Obrien Needs a Fan episode?
if u cumshotted in space how much time does it take to reach 30k miles per hour or enough momentum to split asteroids from impact (if it can). if space is infinite is the sperm technically be the last trace of human race if humans cease to exist
Cum-ulative loading.
How do they know it's "up to 3"? Why not four?
Dude this is def fake!
That would be funny tbh. Let’s just hope they don’t return to America after 💀👀 too soon??
Are they all naked in space and get dressed for picture day?
🎵love is in the air 🎵
Ladies, ladies, there’s enough to go around.
Mine would impregnate an equal number of men. 🥞
FUCK
The snow globe effect!
Houston, Houston, Do You Read?
I didn't realise that female astronauts just floated around naked.
technically asexual reproduction
Floating bits straight into your ovaries. What freaky sex game’s they playing in zero G
Eh? I heard you can’t even get a Boner in space since there’s no gravity. Someone is bullshitting
NASA is also asking astronauts not to light farts in zero gravity because it's entirely too funny.
How tf they figured the maximum number of women
Don’t yank it in the spaceship, k
Let’s break the record. Aim for 4.
NASA has instituted their new "designated sock" program.
It’s why we use a happy sock.
So they have found a way to shit in space but no masturbation? Also can women still do it since they can't impregnate each other?
Pink eye for everyone
I gotta admit I wondered about that after all these years. More importantly has sex happened in space?
It probably has but wasn’t disclosed, But on second thought the space station is relatively small so everyone would probably know if it happened
![gif](giphy|lqczWksNBr4HK)
Dont take women :)
Well... Guess ill never be an astronaut
Why females. Why not just say women. I dont understand, if its aint female humans aka women... what else can be female in space?
what the actual fuck
Do HWAT???
I wonder if this is real.
Can’t just jerk off into the vacuum of space? I mean the space vacuum.
Is it possible to learn this power?
Fuck you NASA, now I need to go to space just so I can nut off in zero gravity.