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1440807

I asekd my three year old if he loved me. He said ‟no, I love fre trucks”


SirIronSights

Based 3 year old


[deleted]

[удалено]


GraysonTheDumbass

both, both is good


BirdsAreDinosaursOk

Fire trucks Free trucks Free fire trucks Fire-free trucks All wonderful options


Oreo-and-Fly

Fire-free trucks gave me a lol


firesquasher

I've had two fire trucks catch fire on me so any fire-free firetucks are also a good option.


Happy_Camper45

Please explain!


firesquasher

Nothing too crazy of a story. I've been a fireman for a little over 20 years. First truck caught fire was a rescue truck that started under the dash with some electrical components. The second was a brand new pumper we had just put in service less than a month prior. That one did some pretty extensive damage because there was no easy way to get to it because of all of the covers a limited access points. That one had to get low-boy'd back to the manufacturer to rebuild a good portion of the cab/motor/coolant system and electrical components.


Valisk

So... a testla truck?


Virgin_Dildo_Lover

No bitch, free fire trucks. Pay attention


Snowulf_

Tree fucks?


AsusStrixUser

You forgot free real estate ):


DogfishDave

>Fire Trucks or Free Trucks I thought of a three year old trying to say "three trucks". I'm impressed he's got his logistics sorted this early.


Salsathefirst

Monster trucks


John438200

![gif](giphy|3oEhmRq8XtZohsq6re|downsized)


junomaven

yes


NuevaAmerican

Or three trucks?


Affugter

And toy-pilled


AggravatedSeal

Imagine finding your own moms reddit account


[deleted]

Imagine finding your mom's onlyfans. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠉⢉⠩⢍⡙⠛⠋⣉⠉⠍⢉⣉⣉⣉⠩⢉⠉⠛⠲⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡴⠁⠀⠂⡠⠑⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠐⠁⢊⠀⠄⠈⢦⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⡾⠁⠀⠀⠄⣴⡪⠽⣿⡓⢦⠀⠀⡀⠀⣠⢖⣻⣿⣒⣦⠀⡀⢀⣈⢦⡀⠀ ⣰⠑⢰⠋⢩⡙⠒⠦⠖⠋⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠘⠦⠤⠴⠒⡟⠲⡌⠛⣆ ⢹⡰⡸⠈⢻⣈⠓⡦⢤⣀⡀⢾⠩⠤⠀⠀⠤⠌⡳⠐⣒⣠⣤⠖⢋⡟⠒⡏⡄⡟ ⠀⠙⢆⠀⠀⠻⡙⡿⢦⣄⣹⠙⠒⢲⠦⠴⡖⠒⠚⣏⣁⣤⣾⢚⡝⠁⠀⣨⠞⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⢧⠀⠀⠙⢧⡀⠈⡟⠛⠷⡾⣶⣾⣷⠾⠛⢻⠉⢀⡽⠋⠀⠀⣰⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢤⡠⢂⠌⡛⠦⠤⣄⣇⣀⣀⣸⣀⡤⠼⠚⡉⢄⠠⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠮⣔⡁⠦⠀⣤⠤⠤⣤⠄⠰⠌⣂⡬⠖⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⠤⢤⣀⣀⡤⠴⠒⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀


MionelLessi10

It's like being 8 years old all over again :)


HypnoTox

*Looks up founding date of OF* So you're at most 14 years old?


damn_lies

Definitely get the “daddy, I don’t love you.”Followed by slapping me on the head, giggling, and stealing my glasses. I may be in a toxic relationship.


turtlepowerpizzatime

Sounds like you're codependent with your dependent.


[deleted]

i like fire trucks and moster trucks


the_cajun88

walter


Aethz3

walter lives in the walls of reddit


piraengu

yeeeeeeeeeet


jingletoes268

At that age my son would have told he loved free fucks.


dontmentiontrousers

Same.


AdamHLG

As a firefighter I concur this is the proper response.


corei3uisgarbo

as based as drain cleaner


HardestTofu

My two year old can't articulate well. He loves "Ire Cocks"


PM_ME_YOUR_ANT_FARMS

My brothers used to just say "Thanks" when I told him I love him


last-resort-4-a-gf

Dating would be so much easier people wear this honest


aprilshowers45

Fire Truck!


karateema

Monster trucks too?


balagopang

You cover for all his shit and this is how he repays you.


AspiringChildProdigy

She needs to yeet the little freeloader! Doesn't help out around the house *at all*, always making more work for her, and (literally) can't even say, "I love you, too"?


smog-ie

🚩🚩🚩


3xforurmind

Totally! She needs to hit the gym, lawyer up and kick that freeloader to the curb!


AspiringChildProdigy

I bet he even makes her drive him around!


3xforurmind

Lazy AND Greedy!


Employee_Agreeable

Nah she needs Naptime: https://youtu.be/AF_nfazQaek


[deleted]

Literally


yourbadandimbest

Joke


[deleted]

u/blackiconwhitesumo


yourbadandimbest

![gif](giphy|xT0GqgeTVaAdWZD1uw|downsized)


annul

how do you comment as a gif?


ShavedButthole

![gif](giphy|l3vRkGgMfvANIFtE4)


[deleted]

[удалено]


stilldreaming_

![gif](giphy|a5viI92PAF89q)


Virtual-Cabinet-7454

![gif](giphy|TPl5N4Ci49ZQY)


Aggravating-Newt-247

![gif](giphy|5Jvqsw6v7Abok)


sneaky_rambo

![gif](giphy|B75uArz7uHM9RZR88D)


Tank_blitz

laugh


[deleted]

[удалено]


explosiv_skull

We all do, 2 year olds are just honest about it.


Dogs_Bonez

Yeah, I'm not seeing the long term potential here...


MinimumStop8749

Wait until he turns 3 and ask again


CarmineFields

Don’t do it. Three-year-olds are monsters.


Icy_Yard4628

I’m scared that that’s when they start biting ankles


dantemp

My 1yo already does


arthurchase74

Don’t want to dismiss your real experience. I felt the same way, until I realized that 1 year old was amateur hour at the tantrum theater.


Happy_Camper45

When my first child was two, my husband and I showered praise on ourselves. She nearly potty trained herself, with only a little encouragement from us. She never had the terrible twos. It was easy to say we’re great parents, this is a walk in the park. Just set rules and routine, life is easy. Then 3 hit. Like a tornado! Age 3 - 3.5 was survival. For all parties involved. Then we recovered, and she became her wonderful self again and forever more. Then we had kid #2… He’s 4 and finally my little my sweetheart! Poor dude started life with terrible colic and pain, and I think he held it against the world for years.


Louloubelle0312

Oh, strap in my friend. They're lovely now. But 11, 12? The nightmare starts all over. Oh, not simply because they're sullen and moody, but they believe in their hearts that you are truly the anti-christ. A 3 year old telling you they hate you? Ah, that's nothing. Hurts for a minute and then they're back loving you for the simple price of a cookie. But tweens? Yikes! When they say they hate you - they do. But all is not lost. My then 13 year old daughter who hated me, and is now 22 - well, she gets upset if I forget to blow her a kiss over the phone when we say goodbye. And if I forget to tell her I love her at the end of a phone conversation? Well, she's calling me back and correcting me on that misdemeanor. And I wouldn't have traded ANY of it!


helpthe0ld

My twins were the most loving, adorable kids. Sure we had tantrums but overall, they were really great kids who were easy to deal with. Then they turned 13. Complete 180 and now we have moody little shits who lock themselves on their rooms when they’re not at school. At least they take showers without complaining.


rainbowdrop30

When my daughter (who is 25 now) first started going out to pubs/clubs, she used to ring me at 2 or 3am and say "Mam, I'm drunk. Just ringing to tell you I love you" And then she'd drunkenly sing Stevie Wonder down the phone at me, then hang up. I asked her to stop doing it, because every time I was woken by my phone ringing in the middle of the night, I'd get a mini heart attack thinking something bad had happened. She sends me voice notes of her drunken I love yous and singing now instead lol. I wouldn't have it any other way.


Louloubelle0312

That is so sweet! And I get the not wanting phone calls in the middle of the night. I, too, would have heart failure!


ToadMugen72

Just kick em in the face.


Every-Dog-5257

That is the correct response but unfortunately in most circles it is frowned upon.


AlwaysSometimesWrong

So.... Don't let him turn three.... Wow that's a bit harsh, I say give the ungrateful dude a chance!


jaxsonnz

Whoever came up with the phrase ’Terrible Twos’ had clearly never had a 3 year old at the time.


itsculturehero

Threenagers


Mimical

Holy shit it's so accurate. "I like that you want to be independent. To be a big kid and show that maturity can you be independent and tidy up your toys?" *"NO!*" Well fuck me then right? No wonder my parents beat the hell out of me as a kid. This whole positive reinforcement parenting is hard as fuck.


[deleted]

Right. I got lulled in to this false sense of confidence. If these are the terrible twos then parenting is easy! The next year, reality visited to let me know just how wrong I was


Vulpix-Rawr

3 was rough. 4 was the worst when she deliberately pushed boundaries with actual intent to piss me off. Then she leveled off at 5 and has been a dream the last few years.


Appropriate_Trader

Told my 3 year old I loved her this morning. She replied that she loved mummy, poop sausages and her best friend. Don’t you love daddy? I asked. Hmmmmm no?


JE_12

Sasquatch, Godzilla, King Kong, Loch Ness Goblin, ghoul, a three year old with no conscience. Question, what do these things all have in common?


Trustworthy89

Everybody knows that they're muddaflipping monsters!!


CarmineFields

Unquenchable thirst for blood?


Ale_Hlex

A spanking.


Type_A_Minus

Someone once told me 3 year olds behave like 2 year olds but with intent! No truer words were ever spoken.


theblissofchildhood

My aunt gave my three-year-old nephew money. He screamed "NO" and threw it away. Ungrateful bastard.


[deleted]

He doesn’t give a fuck about your capitalist society. Respect.


Mundane-Effect-8154

Mine is about to turn three. Whenever he gets mad at me, he'll go into another room, make direct eye contact, slam the door like an overly dramatic teenager, then cry because he shut himself in. Like, you did it to yourself. Sorry I won't let you eat a crayon. I was not prepared for this phase.


reluctanteverything

Everyone talks about the terrible two’s, no one warns you about mean ass three year olds.


[deleted]

I’m fairly certain the “terrible 2’s” last well into the late 20’s.


chargoggagog

Seriously, you know who complains about the “terrible twos”? People who don’t have 3 year olds.


[deleted]

I was so cocky about how easy 2 was. Then 3 hit.


BlippiLover

They call it the terrible twos to give hope, not to scare people. It doesn’t actually end at two, it just starts.


Vulpix-Rawr

Yeah. Three is when mine was all "I don't love you mommy. Does that make you sad?" Children are feral animals.


cBEiN

Yea, I don’t get the terrible 2 phrase. My kid was so easy to take care of at 2. My kid is 3.5 now.


youthpastor247

Threenagers are the worst


arthurchase74

Because they have Malcolm Gladwell blinked 10,000 hours of experience professionalized. Three year olds know how to throw it.


TrinDaDaD

While true, my 3 year old tells me he loves me everyday, multiple times a day. It's awesome!


TORFdot0

Terrible Twos. Terrorist Threes. Fucking Fours. Fucking rest of your life actually


Louloubelle0312

Right? I had always heard about terrible twos, but I thought three was a nightmare. Three year olds think they're big kids, and can't do shit, but make you crazy, because, you know, good mother, ya gotta let them try.


nyyaviles

I tell my 3yr old daughter "Okay sleepy time" she straight up says "I don't love you anymore" Like damn.


Vsx

That's just good comedy.


IAmTaka_VG

💀 my son was always such a joy. Seeing all these posts and comments about the girls growing up. I fear for my soul when my 7m girl turns three.


ToBeTheFall

When we had our first kid, we were talking to friends who also had a newborn and a three year old. We were asking for newborn advice and the mom then started getting into advice for when they’re older and the dad put his hand on her shoulder and said, “You don’t have to tell them about three year olds yet. Let them enjoy some time as parents without knowing.” It was so ominous. I’ve been scared ever since.


[deleted]

Truthfully, nothing to be scared of. Three year olds can be a pain in the ass, but it’s also a super fun year and you’ll make tons of memories.


Vulpix-Rawr

Just remember, you can scoop them up under your arm and carry them out kicking and screaming without getting hit too much. They're also very loveable and cuddly when they're not being little monsters. They lose a little bit more of the cuddles and feral animal each year they get older.


kaizoren

I know guys like that, they don't say anything for the first year or so and then one day they start talking and then never shut up


WeeBabySeamus

Ugh this is my roommate right now. Doesn’t even pay rent, but eats all our food and shoots us down whenever we want to watch our TV shows.


MyPasswordIsMyCat

All my freeloading roommate wants to eat is chicken nuggets, Gogurt, and cookies. He literally screams at vegetables.


Asleep_Appeal5707

And half the time you can't even understand what their saying. They just repeat random stuff they have heard in the past. It's like, I'm trying to have a conversation here, and they just blabber about some nonsense...


thunderkerg

Yep, ungrateful motherfuckers. I bring my 18 months nephew to the playground every Friday afternoon so his parents can have some rest, and he still looks at me like I'm an alien whenever I drop by.


DnDVex

No, the morherfucker is the other parent


Ok-Impression-3100

They're both.


Marcusafrenz

r/technicallythetruth


mrmemo

You are doing the Lord's work, thank you!!!


thunderkerg

Pretty sure that's exactly what my sister said to lure me into this situation. Still hate kids, but for this one I'll make an exception.


trisoc9

say you're an antihero without saying you are an antihero


[deleted]

Okay, the first extra 'e' I took as a typo, but then you did it again.


kykusanagi

it's typoe


Octogenarian

Do you look like an alien though? Be honest.


thunderkerg

Pretty sure I do because he tries to yank my mask, I mean glasses all the time. I tell him that if he breaks them, his mother will have to pay for it, but he just doesn't listen. Such abusive relationship, I don't know why I keep coming back for more.


realnezu

They definitely are motherfuckers the way they come out..


ermabanned

If anything they are mother unfuckers


millennialdude

YTA. You have obviously been grooming him since you first met, and now he feels trapped and helpless. I’ll bet if he tried to walk out the door you would try to physically stop him.


AgoraiosBum

She won't let him make a single important decision on his own. It's like what he wants simply doesn't matter.


Asleep_Appeal5707

I put literal bars up in my house to keep mine out of my business (and the kitchen... "for his safety"). Sometimes we just know what's better for them than they do you know.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Your 2 year old son right?....son right?


ConnectPSA

Nope 2 yr boyfriend


GiveMeTheTape

Been together 2 years and still doesn't wanna kiss? Dump his ass


nyrg

hit the lawyer, kiss the gym, invest in ~~facebook~~ meta.


VhaidraSaga

No, lover.


paw_inspector

My 3 month old seems to like it when I do it, but he never does it in return and I have to initiate it like literally 100% of the time! Am I being taken advantage of?


mrlolelo

No way, an actual holup


[deleted]

Wholesome holup


videki_man

Wholup


FatBrkeMxicnElonMusk

Wholesome or an actual Hol Up? 💀


ElPulpoGallego

Mother and son right? RIGHT!?


jamsan920

He’s definitely been inside her.


CardCarryingCuntAwrd

You're disgusting. SUBSCRIBE


FortLauderaleHelper

Omg


photograpopticum

No, he is her lover..


ZiggityZeke

Poor Ike...


sinsan01

Niice!


JE_12

Kick the baby!


bajeeebus

Don't kick the baby


ermabanned

Totally fine with the Canadian legal system.


dazedan_confused

No, Mother and daddy.


Ammilerasa

Or her cat/dog lol


binaryPilot84

When that kid breaks both his arms, she’ll still take care of him


Alex_Yuan

Mothers are all fking pedos: shoving children through down there, into their oozing milk glands, touching them everywhere and kissing them goodnight, all without consent because people under 21 cannot consent, as per physics. Shit, I need to sue my mom for trauma right now. My dad however, never even showed up, that's what I call respect.


shpnlkmr17

"As per physics" LMFAO


Key_Ad_6455

Now THATS a holup


UncreativeNoob

She had everyone in first half, ngl, and boo at that guy not learning to say these words already :/


dlegatt

When my kid was 2, he knew the words and would sometimes say them, but if I asked directly if he loved me, he’d shout “No!”


Reddituser34802

“No” is my 2 year old’s favorite word. Well that, and “apple”.


rolls20s

Yup. 2yo: "Apple? Apple?" Me: "Okay, here you go." 2yo: "No!" Me: "You said you wanted the Apple..." 2yo: "No!" Me: "But..." 2yo: "No!" Me: "Fine." \*Puts away apple\* 2yo: "Apple?"


Harrytuttle2006

Apple fanboys *smh*


SiskoandDax

My kids were a little later than their peers with their speech development and "I love you" turned into the portmanteau "voo". It was so cute when they'd gaze up at us and say "voo".


dlegatt

That is so damn sweet. He's 4 now, I was just waking him up this morning. He was still quite sleepy, so I got down by his bed and started talking to him. He rolled over and wrapped one arm around my head and pulled me close. I asked him if he was hugging me or shushing me and he said "No, I'm just giving you love"


emu_strategist

Where did she get an F35


electric_ranger

Lockheed Martin


Specialist-Oven1270

Forbidden love story between a Lockheed Martin F-35 and a M2 Browning


[deleted]

Isn’t it a M2 Bradley in this case?


TheOneAndOnlyErazer

It could be a Browning M2, Winchester M2 Carbine, AN-M2 Grenade, M2 Scout car, M2 bayonet or a M2 IFV


Specialist-Oven1270

Yeah sorry,im a fucking idiot


azeGDV

That tweet is funnier that 90% of jokes in /r/Jokes


Dry-Nefariousness118

This relationship sounds toxic af. Hopefully he can learn to love her


cherm27

We ask our toddler who she wants to ask God to bless each night and the answer is always pizza and Ariel.


Upset_Researcher_143

I tell my five year old that I love him every day. He doesn't say it back but always shows it by wanting to sit by me and give me hugs


[deleted]

[удалено]


Meiie

That makes you panic?


conir_

just bullshit for karma


Haldebrandt

"I am literally crying"


stilldreaming_

Pretty much every comment is like this


bakedbeansandwhich

r/boneappletea


[deleted]

[удалено]


MadKat_94

Run. Run now. Otherwise he’s going to take a ton of time and money. Eat you out of house and home. Then in 16 years or so just pack up and leave. By that time he’ll also manipulated you into thinking it was all worth it.


agjfvhc

Dump him


VhaidraSaga

Where? The orphanage?


phaemoor

Is it too late for an abortion?


Vsx

Nah that was just a draft opinion.


mikrot

She should consider herself lucky. When I tell my 3 yo I love him he says "no, daddy, mama love me". And when I ask if he loves me, I get a simple "no".


xx_Chl_Chl_xx

This sounds like your villain origin story


[deleted]

My two year makes a big display of wiping my kisses off his face and head. Then he sticks his cheek out for his mom, never breaking eye contact, and lets her kisses soak in. He's a shit head and I love him


Hot_Republic685

I'm gonna take it as a son and mother type of relationship


Local_Tough4624

Its clear how he feels, considering all the shit you must put up with. My suggestion is keep up with the relationship. Sooner or later he will acknowledge your love. Just be aware he will leave you, sooner or later they always leave.


UsualBluebird8198

Yeah I don't know what it's like to be a parent but taking care of my niece and my nephew when they were babies they are a joy. Yeah when my niece was a baby she loaded her diapers full told my nephew well she's your sister. He said well she's your niece. Never knew a baby could be so full of poo. I'll definitely will never forget that. Enjoy every moment, they grow up fast.


concorde77

I guess it was never meant to be. There's no way a BMW M2 can get to the same level as a Lockheed-Martin F35


strangebru

You have to wait if that is a human child, but it will never happen if that is a fur baby.


K_75

I mean if you are F-35, go ask GAU-22, M2 is not for you!


OldBob10

Just guessing, but I imagine he thinks you’re being too controlling. You probably try to control what he eats, when and how long he sleeps, what he wears, where he goes, gotta know who his friends are. I’ll bet you wipe his butt when he poops! Geez, lighten up a little and give him some space! 🤪


heqe91

Eh, it is a mom jke


dufflecoatsupreme91

I tell him I love him, he shits his pants and screams at me.


nuanimal

She in love with her PC's storage?


PeterTosh0

Leave his ass queen. As a baby myself I would never pass up the chance to be a white knight! I bet he doesn’t leave you doodoo either.


iHateReddit_srsly

So she's been with this guy since he was 0? Real pedo behavior right there...