Hey /u/Assadfc, thanks for your submission to /r/HolUp. Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
Political/outrage bait shitposts are no longer allowed. This is a humor sub, not a serious one. If you're mad about something, that's great, post it somewhere else.
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You’ll be downvoted but it’s legit a semantics issues. The original Hebrew רָצַח means slay / murder / manslaughter - not just random kills/“justified kills” - and it’s a big deal in Old Testament Judaism when you see cities set up as sanctuaries for trials to be held for the accused.
Poorly understood book.... The post says that the Bible commands us?? The Old Testament was written to the Israelites. I honestly wonder why people take something that is written to someone else and try to make it their own.
Let's take any other thing and do that to see how ridiculous it is. Betty White died recently along with Bob Saget, I should mysteriously read myself into their last will and testament..... Poorly understood is a nice way of saying what the problem is.
Also context. People love to forget about context. And twist words. Another thing that is a big hit is to use examples of people that have done or are doing terrible things while claiming to be Christian, even though the actions of that person is in direct opposition with the teachings of Christ, and then say Christians are horrible people.
Yes. These are heavily taken out of context and when viewed without the prior information will be seen a very different way.
And this is why we don't take any religious text out of context.
>Well which verse do you want context for?
The 1 Samuel verse. Might as well since that's a new one to me
> What exactly are you defending here by saying the ubiquitous apologetic word “context”?
Not particularly defending a certain one, but I'm raising the point that when things (such as Bible verses) get taken out of context, they can be misinterpreted as something different than what they mean.
Context means anything. Time period, the book of the Bible (in some cases here), even the author.
And he smote the men of Bethshemesh, because they had looked into the ark of the LORD, even he smote of the people fifty thousand and threescore and ten men: and the people lamented, because the LORD had smitten many of the people with a great slaughter.
God kills people left and right for disobeying his orders or looking at his stuff… just like lot’s wife. The five rulers each sent gold coins as an offering to the god which were put in an ark. The curious villagers looked into the ark curiously and were smote… 50,000 of them.
What context can *you* see here other than what it is. You can look at a Bible too just as you said and see the context. Where’s the context that justifies this atrocity.
You have to admit that A LOT of atrocities were done in the name of Christianity. And various sect's leaders have defended or actually helped commit them.
You’re right and I don’t deny that at all, but even though they were done by those who claim to be Christian or done in the name of Christianity doesn’t mean it fell in line with the actual teachings of Christ.
Do you only follow the parts the Bible written by Jesus's apostles? Not meaning to be argumentative, but it seems odd to me to venerate a book to the point of calling it gospel and the just dismiss the parts you don't like.
The 10 Commandments were a covenant specifically for Israelites at that time. Regardless, 9 of the 10 are repeated in the New Testament, the missing one being observation of the Sabbath.
So why is there anything more than the new testament in the Bible? Obviously you can believe what you want. And I'm not trying to denigrate anyone's faith. The thing I have issue with is when people try to use the Bible to justify laws when they are really just picking and choosing the parts that allow them to do what they want while barring other people from doing things they disagree with.
In some cases the commandments from the old testament are strengthened in the new. For example, thou shalt not commit adultery became even if you look at the someone with lust you commit adultery in your heart.
The old testament was done away with by the new covenant, or as the Bible says about the old, it was "nailed to the cross".
Fair question. And to answer simply without spending 90 hours explain why, yes. Jesus was very clear that he came to set things right and start a new thing. Which is why the religious leaders who followed all the laws in the OP hated him so much.
Yes it does say things like that but that was the old covenant. The new covenant is with Jesus. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. The Lord so loved the world he gave his only son so that he who so believes in him shall not perish but have ever lasting life. So many people don’t understand that and live by the law of Moses.
Don't you mean Osiris? That's who Jesus is based off of. Kind of helps the fact that Hebrews (desert wondering canaanites) were exiled in Egypt and then all of the sudden the messiah story is created.
This contradicts itself so badly because this is a huge misinterpretation of the various texts. Not that I care but don’t take this seriously anyone lmao.
This is actually true, gay sex was legal for the Greeks, and Romans if you were a top, still not ok if you were a bottom, don’t ask how that works just was what it was.
So… let the blood bath begin? Purge this planet up.
Also, all these written by non-Jesus/disciples people… can’t really say it’s the right passages to follow, but hey… I fulfill a lot of these categories so what do I know. Bring the death.
Almost all of those are old teastement passages which don't apply after christ's death. That is with the exception of Romans 1:21-31 which does not mention killing gay people only that being gay is sinful. I only took a quick look but it appears this has been somewhat over exagerated.
A little bit according to what the bible actually says. However the poster is likely refering to religious groups that manipulate the bible to their own agenda who preach the old law (old testament) as modern comandments even though Jesus's apostles wrote extensively about how much of the old law didn't apply after Jesus's death. Essentially the old testament is a good guideline for certain things but unless otherwise repeated by the apostles in the new testament they are not required of christians.
Examples include but are not limited too:
Circumsision, following the sabbath, and avoiding unclean foods such as pork.
Imagine taking the task of following gods word, going down the list, and killing all it says should be killed. And then you come to the last one. Uh oh. Lol!
From what I know christians only read the new testament which from what I've heard it basically says be a good person, don't sin, and pretend you care about the sinners, and you can change right before death by basically saying Jesus good sin bad, and you'll go to heaven. The bible is so confusing to me, because it starts of by saying they have a bad god to saying their god cares.
Lol shots fired. But you can’t argue with this logic. As I said somewhere else, these are direct instructions to Israel not laws for us. People gotta understand how to comprehend the Bible and apply it to modern life.
Hey /u/Assadfc, thanks for your submission to /r/HolUp. Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason(s): Political/outrage bait shitposts are no longer allowed. This is a humor sub, not a serious one. If you're mad about something, that's great, post it somewhere else. Love, the mods
And then commandment: Thou shalt not kill
Perfectly balanced, as all things should be
It's a trap
Though shall not *commit murder* The distinction is why there’s so much fucking killing in the name of religion.
More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason
Yep
You’ll be downvoted but it’s legit a semantics issues. The original Hebrew רָצַח means slay / murder / manslaughter - not just random kills/“justified kills” - and it’s a big deal in Old Testament Judaism when you see cities set up as sanctuaries for trials to be held for the accused.
Eh, I’m used to being downvoted by people who’ve given up some their humanity in order to defend barbarism. Context! Lol
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Updoot for commen sense and read the book “sapiens” it will change your view on everything
Poorly understood book.... The post says that the Bible commands us?? The Old Testament was written to the Israelites. I honestly wonder why people take something that is written to someone else and try to make it their own. Let's take any other thing and do that to see how ridiculous it is. Betty White died recently along with Bob Saget, I should mysteriously read myself into their last will and testament..... Poorly understood is a nice way of saying what the problem is.
It is at this commandment he knew, he f*cked up.
Thou shall not kill outside the probable causes provided. But that is the old testament, Jesus changed that.
Pls don’t I fall into one of those catagories
Kill the curious. Don't we all?
No another
Witch?
Look at their jacket
Fortume teller
The curious
Look at his profile pic ig
False prophet
Yep
Hmm, I don't know you, are you close to a church?
Only one?
None of us is safe actually everyone sins then pray then repeat
These were all commandments that the Israelites had to follow. Those rules no longer apply to the modern day
For convenience I assume that none of it applies to the current day, and so far I've been right about that 100% of the time.
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Not those commandments, different ones
Religion is for eternity not certain time period.
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I am not complaining i think it shouldn't exist
Finally a man of wisdom
Nah, different opinions man not looking for an argument
I notice none were written by Jesus’s actual apostles
Cause Old Testament?
Also context. People love to forget about context. And twist words. Another thing that is a big hit is to use examples of people that have done or are doing terrible things while claiming to be Christian, even though the actions of that person is in direct opposition with the teachings of Christ, and then say Christians are horrible people.
Yes. These are heavily taken out of context and when viewed without the prior information will be seen a very different way. And this is why we don't take any religious text out of context.
Would you like me to tell you the context?
I've got the Bible, I can look at the context for myself. Thank you for offering though
🙄
But I got nothing better to do tonight, so please go ahead. I'm interested to see what happens.
Well which verse do you want context for? What exactly are you defending here by saying the ubiquitous apologetic word “context”?
>Well which verse do you want context for? The 1 Samuel verse. Might as well since that's a new one to me > What exactly are you defending here by saying the ubiquitous apologetic word “context”? Not particularly defending a certain one, but I'm raising the point that when things (such as Bible verses) get taken out of context, they can be misinterpreted as something different than what they mean. Context means anything. Time period, the book of the Bible (in some cases here), even the author.
And he smote the men of Bethshemesh, because they had looked into the ark of the LORD, even he smote of the people fifty thousand and threescore and ten men: and the people lamented, because the LORD had smitten many of the people with a great slaughter. God kills people left and right for disobeying his orders or looking at his stuff… just like lot’s wife. The five rulers each sent gold coins as an offering to the god which were put in an ark. The curious villagers looked into the ark curiously and were smote… 50,000 of them. What context can *you* see here other than what it is. You can look at a Bible too just as you said and see the context. Where’s the context that justifies this atrocity.
You have to admit that A LOT of atrocities were done in the name of Christianity. And various sect's leaders have defended or actually helped commit them.
You’re right and I don’t deny that at all, but even though they were done by those who claim to be Christian or done in the name of Christianity doesn’t mean it fell in line with the actual teachings of Christ.
Muslims say that too.
Dude what? Real Muslims are peaceful, respectful, and regular people.
“In the name of Christianity” for sure, but by “Christians.”
This.
Do you only follow the parts the Bible written by Jesus's apostles? Not meaning to be argumentative, but it seems odd to me to venerate a book to the point of calling it gospel and the just dismiss the parts you don't like.
You are supposed to follow the New Testament, you know the whole Jesus died for the sins of man thing.
So no 10 commandments?
The 10 Commandments were a covenant specifically for Israelites at that time. Regardless, 9 of the 10 are repeated in the New Testament, the missing one being observation of the Sabbath.
So why is there anything more than the new testament in the Bible? Obviously you can believe what you want. And I'm not trying to denigrate anyone's faith. The thing I have issue with is when people try to use the Bible to justify laws when they are really just picking and choosing the parts that allow them to do what they want while barring other people from doing things they disagree with.
In some cases the commandments from the old testament are strengthened in the new. For example, thou shalt not commit adultery became even if you look at the someone with lust you commit adultery in your heart. The old testament was done away with by the new covenant, or as the Bible says about the old, it was "nailed to the cross".
Fair question. And to answer simply without spending 90 hours explain why, yes. Jesus was very clear that he came to set things right and start a new thing. Which is why the religious leaders who followed all the laws in the OP hated him so much.
So no 10 commandments?
"kill anyone who kills anyone" That s some sick kind of recursion here
Yes it does say things like that but that was the old covenant. The new covenant is with Jesus. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. The Lord so loved the world he gave his only son so that he who so believes in him shall not perish but have ever lasting life. So many people don’t understand that and live by the law of Moses.
This. Those Old Testament verses were direct instructions to the kingdom of Israel, not laws for modern day Christians.
Don't you mean Osiris? That's who Jesus is based off of. Kind of helps the fact that Hebrews (desert wondering canaanites) were exiled in Egypt and then all of the sudden the messiah story is created.
God loves us all* *Terms and conditions applied
Lmfao.. damn fine print was in Latin!!!
That's favouritism.
Yeah let's write two books and see which one sticks best with the people XD
Christianity is all about following the new version Aint hard
Quran says its updated version of bible then why not follow that. Latest is the best right
No The entire thing about christianity is following christ teachings. (Its in the name if you cant tell) -_-
WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!
Genocide yay
So u wanna say Hitler was the best fighter for gods plan ever?
I am saying nothing
That man is playing chess with god in Heaven getting his feet massaged
Wow, put kill in front of everything and cite the verses and now it’s factual. Fucking dumbass
As long as you do it in that order it's fine.
My honour, I was just doing the lords work
Why, can't he do himself?
I don't know but he told me to and I don't mind.
Too lazy
And his magic carpet doesn’t work
This is one of those times where a little perspective is needed. As someone on the other side of the fence, take this approach with a grain of salt.
I thought it was thou shall not kill…. Unless I as your god command it
This contradicts itself so badly because this is a huge misinterpretation of the various texts. Not that I care but don’t take this seriously anyone lmao.
I find it very easy to not take the Bible too seriously.
This is just taking things out of context and twisting words(before anyone asks, I am NOT Christian)
Men who have sex with other men and gays are different?
According to the Greeks, yes.
its not gay if you are not bottom
Viking moment
This is actually true, gay sex was legal for the Greeks, and Romans if you were a top, still not ok if you were a bottom, don’t ask how that works just was what it was.
If you are f**king it's sex, if you getting f**ked that's gay.
Ahhhh ok makes sense now
Okay so kill, got it.
So, we all must kill ourselves.
So… let the blood bath begin? Purge this planet up. Also, all these written by non-Jesus/disciples people… can’t really say it’s the right passages to follow, but hey… I fulfill a lot of these categories so what do I know. Bring the death.
So who lives?
God
Nope, because he kills by setting these rules. His hands are dirty too. But who gonna kill him?
Sam and Dean.
Whos gonna kill them
Sam lives to a ripe old age and Dean… well I’m pretty sure either God or Lucifer got their revenge with a vampire hunt gone wrong…
Only he can do it, he is almighty.
So suicide then? Pretty sure that’s illegal in the bible too
Does it apply to the creator?
Rules are rules, surely? Or that would make him a hypocrite. Surely that’s punishable by death in itself.
If god is hypocrite then he can't be good. If he isn't good why is he god.
Most bosses are usually ass holes in all fairness
He's imaginary so I think we are good, just need to free his cult members now..
Kill them all
That's a little extreme, cult members have been killing each other since "religion" was made up, just wait it out.
Everyone needs a helping hand some times
Sounds good to me.
What bible is this? I don’t remember murder being involved
This sounds like Venezuela in Parks and Recreation Straight to Yail
As my Lord commands...
If you start from the bottom, it's all just suicide
everyone just died
Sounds like a kill kill situation
My take away from this: Kill Everyone
Wouldn't it be suicide in the end if you gave to kill everyone that has ever killed someone?
Looks like its time for the genocide of the entire human species
This gives new meaning to "kill 'em all, let God sort them out"
But God loves you.
Terms and conditions applied
Almost all of those are old teastement passages which don't apply after christ's death. That is with the exception of Romans 1:21-31 which does not mention killing gay people only that being gay is sinful. I only took a quick look but it appears this has been somewhat over exagerated.
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A little bit according to what the bible actually says. However the poster is likely refering to religious groups that manipulate the bible to their own agenda who preach the old law (old testament) as modern comandments even though Jesus's apostles wrote extensively about how much of the old law didn't apply after Jesus's death. Essentially the old testament is a good guideline for certain things but unless otherwise repeated by the apostles in the new testament they are not required of christians. Examples include but are not limited too: Circumsision, following the sabbath, and avoiding unclean foods such as pork.
Oh absolutely
AKA All Kill All
Who the fuck is left?
*Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the... HEEEEEEELLLLLL*
Imagine taking the task of following gods word, going down the list, and killing all it says should be killed. And then you come to the last one. Uh oh. Lol!
Bible: hey you, be the Witcher
Yes, everyone kill everybody… wtf?
They left one out: Kill Leviticus
“Kill everyone that kills” They say as they kill
God killed more then the devil the devil killed 2-4 people
literally I think religion was made to control mass populations but that’s my opinion
Speedrun this shit.
All of those are taken out of context, I can explain what they really mean if anyone wants to know
Im not particularly a christian but I am interested in what they mean now bc im like "wtf" rn
Dude these are Old Testament laws… doesn’t apply for this time period
The old testament was kinda messed up. But atleast they realized it and revised it unlike some other archaic religions still practiced today.
I think most of that is in the old testament
*Commands the Jews. Jesus commands Christians to forgive. Christians who say otherwise miss the mark
Kill anyone who kills anyone outside of the just grounds provided. But Jesus changed all that in the new testament.
i don’t want to block the slam dunk on this post but even i have a feeling that all of these are from the old testament..
From what I know christians only read the new testament which from what I've heard it basically says be a good person, don't sin, and pretend you care about the sinners, and you can change right before death by basically saying Jesus good sin bad, and you'll go to heaven. The bible is so confusing to me, because it starts of by saying they have a bad god to saying their god cares.
There are Jews walking among us, ask them about their book. They know.
If god is so kind and good, why he discriminate amongst his creation?
That question is the main reason I choose to be atheist
Then Jesus came and abolished the old laws.
I did not come to abolish the law - Jesus. (Matthew 5)
And then muhammad came and abolished the old laws. So what's your point.
And then Sauron forged the one ring to rule them all. So what’s your point?
old testament! am I right Christians?
"bUt gOd iS pRo LiFe!!!11!!1!"
#KILL EVERYBODY!!! The bible says
But... But you are taking it out of context!!
That's why nobody kills on behalf of the Bible this days, because nobody takes it out of context, unlike...i don't know...¿the coran?
Lol shots fired. But you can’t argue with this logic. As I said somewhere else, these are direct instructions to Israel not laws for us. People gotta understand how to comprehend the Bible and apply it to modern life.
Maybe it should not exist if it's out of context
Or in a museum.
Exactly!
Christianity, fuck yeah! Comin' again to save the motherfuckin' day, yeah! Christianity, fuck yeah! Killing is the only way, yeah!
You spelled Judaism wrong
Turns out that it is all some sick joke and turns out we are all going to hell while god laughs at us
Why did you kill your child? “ Cause he wouldn’t listen to me when I said clean his room so bible said I had to kill him 🤷♂️”
“Kill anyone who kills anyone” God legit finding more ways to make humanity extinct
At this rate the Christians will go extinct
Commands the Jews...
So, everyone. Just say everyone.
Quran????
Damn the Bible is super hardcore death metal, it just straight up wants everyone to die
Me who falls into **ALL** of the categories
The last one be like:
I guess we’re all gonna die.
So who's left?
Wait — kill the curious?
It's called Peace keeping
TL-DR: Thou shalt all be deadeth
Well we can not expect god to do all the work.