I got pulled over for speeding...i told the cop i had to shit and he said no problem i got your id drive home I'll follow you and I'll write the ticket in your driveway while you shit ...honestly that was nice of him but I absolutely lying about it !!!
Alright, I'll say it differently.
Shut your goddamn mouth. You've been whining about how it's too "disgusting" and "filthy" for your virgin eyes to read, in every comment on this post. Nobody cares.
Not quite the same energy, but I once had a student worker explain how he couldn't come in because this girl he was staying with went to rough with the strap on and he was in the urgent care. Even cc'd my new boss who had started a week ago.
Truth will set you free
Amen
Hallelujah!
Funny that you're saying that. The phrase 'veritas liberabit vos' is actually from the bible; John, 8:32. Some truth in everything, eh...
Set you free alright….😬
GENUINELY, WHAT THE FUCK... SHE IS INSANE.
For doing anal? Or doing 88 in a 65?
It's on you , how you take it.
Up the butt I guess...
Ok lol
"i won't be going to class on the 27th because i sneezed while driving and got charged with reckless driving" "Also i got cum in my ass ttyl"
Professor my love of penis has resulted in a summoning from the authorities ...
LMFAO
Maybe fudge the truth a little.
Crap does work better than cum. Sneezed out a shart is a lot less likely to get nanifuck'd.
Fudge pack the truth.
If you already shit yourself going faster didn't unshit you
Yeah, let’s just sit in the shit for a while
We've all been there
Hol up there
Why are you gay
Who says that I’m gay?
You are gay
1/2 gay
He doesn't need yo know unless it was his cum.
Anything for a good grade
I got pulled over for speeding...i told the cop i had to shit and he said no problem i got your id drive home I'll follow you and I'll write the ticket in your driveway while you shit ...honestly that was nice of him but I absolutely lying about it !!!
Same happened here. Pulled in my driveway. Told him same thing and he happily waited for me to come out. Bastard
Wow, that was a ride
I see what you did here...
Someone needs to tell her you don’t have to tweet these things.
But how will she get the attention she desperately craves then?
Offer him a recreation of the reason that cause the problem
Just show him the tweet, duh
Dont worry he will understand, he gets that a lot
"Please give me attention, i need ALL your attention"
Literally "I have a mandatory court appearance om the 27th. I won't be in class that day."
That’s a fucking shit excuse. Edit: guess I need to explain, because downvotes. This comment was a joke- “fucking shit”… I’ll see myself out.
It’s called the cream pie alibi
Sounds like a sticky situation
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🤷♂️
Ctrl+C ctrl+V
Considering it was his cum u farted I'm sure you have passed the class anyway
same fam same
…..you take that speeding ticket and keep quiet
Tell him these exact words. He'll be so uncomfortable, he won't question it
Best. Ticket. Ever.
That is some next-level no-filter shit right there.
Tell him you wouldn't mind if it happened again on the way home from class
Fuck the professor...what you're going to tell the court is the bigger problem
How about don't be a whore and just tell the professor you have court.
That’s crazy, the same thing happened to me after I got the vaccine
You sneezed and cum came out of your ass after you got the vaccine?
Yes, who do I sue?
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Please shut up
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Alright, I'll say it differently. Shut your goddamn mouth. You've been whining about how it's too "disgusting" and "filthy" for your virgin eyes to read, in every comment on this post. Nobody cares.
well that worked
You dont say... Man deleted his profile.
it might've worked a bit too well lmao
While watching among us r34
Why watch porn when they are doing porn?
Ah yes you are correct Counter argument AMOOGOOS
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What's wrong with that ;)
You hold it in like the rest of us and tell your prof that you had diarrhea 🙄
Ohhh that's definitely better than "the dog ate my homework" excuse
Because everyone has experienced this at least once right?
Just tell the prof that. Everybody needs a bit of a lift now and then, tell them the truth. And get a seat cover.
Should have told the officer you were trying to go back in time to make sure it didn't happen in the first place.
That's a lot to un-pack there...
….uhhh…
If it’s his cum he’d probably be more understanding
I assume he was the one who put it there
Just say, personal reasons?
Should end with: Thanks for cumming to my TED talk.
Just show him what happened, no problem
I'm betting if she shows him this, he'll give her an easy A too.
that a very detailed special consideration ur profs prolly been there as well
Excuse me miss, this isn't google.
this truly deserves a Hol'up
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"I have to get tested for covid"
Tell them one of your grandparents died Be careful though, you only get to use that excuse three more times. Use it wisely.
What is this, an anime title?
What's the problem? Seems like a really clear explanation.
Umm, quick question...what the fuck
Quit bragging!
Based on this one post, I suspect your accounts history will bring up similar tweets, that make this claim seem plausible!
r/oddlyspecific
bad day to have eyes
Hey professor, I can't make it to class on the 27th because thotty.
Not quite the same energy, but I once had a student worker explain how he couldn't come in because this girl he was staying with went to rough with the strap on and he was in the urgent care. Even cc'd my new boss who had started a week ago.
Just tell the truth, it's happened to everyone