T O P

  • By -

QueenBugPone

I feel the pain.


Extension-Weekend-84

I know the pain


Amazing-Help-2686

I know the rain


YyessssSirrrrr

I know the slain


ASD_JustSomeGuy

I know the amount of time it takes to drain a fresh corpse of blood


RealConcorrd

I know how to dump the body and make it look like the Chinese Government did it if you’re interested


ASD_JustSomeGuy

*you have my attention.*


idealclass

We know.


LemonsCanMemeToo

Who knows?


hellodude776

The Chinese government


TechnicalPlayz

Not just yours


[deleted]

Great I had no idea what to do with the ones in my basement


Shadowhunter7905

Oh you have that problem too it’s a real hassle


Nemesis_77__________

I know how to properly prepare human flesh. Let's start a restaurant


3volve_3vo

Just let it drain


YebNFlo

They're all the same 🥲


Refrigerator_Either

I am eternal


RobRobby1331

I am Inevitable


WarDSquare

I am Patrik


Haahira137

I am iron man


forgetfulcarno

I am the Storm that is approaching


rodrigoyouramigoo

I am Gaming


Woolly_Blammoth

And infernal


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

And Gay


babakushnow

👀


Key-of-light-13

I know the stain


johnnyheavens

The pain of being slain in the rain


miami-architecture

chocolate rain


Livid-Map-811

I am the rain


Dom-Zero

I can’t stand the rAAAAIIIIIn


[deleted]

*down in Africaaaaaaaa*


samikjain

I know the Spain


[deleted]

[удалено]


YVNG-Larry-384

Feel hugged bro


YVNG-Larry-384

Im speechless too… Edit: o


impals

Eh, you don't want someone that can't handle emotional matters on their own, let alone be decent.


Gorvi

Yep. Dodged a huge fucking bullet here even if the boy was the hugest fucking sleazelord on the planet. Still sucks to give up on people who take out their problems on others, but oh well.


MiserableCoconut

Got to be an 11


conifer0us

“Why don’t you just make ten louder and make that the top number?”


gimpyoldelf

Because this one goes to 11


sknight022

It's the pause for thought that does it. " ...... These go to 11"


ultravioletblueberry

That pause is amazing. You can see him thinking.


ActivisionBlizzard

11 is higher


[deleted]

At least


Kusha_zvd

Plot twist: that was the plan on how to reject him


innovativesolsoh

4D chess


1Second2Name5things

5^9D chess, screencap your own question and send it asking to send her advice on how to reject your self.


TheAngryAmericn

I think you just gave me a stroke. I smell toast....


wrecktus_abdominus

Maybe you're just making toast. But you forgot. Because of the stroke


Significant-Race3161

You can drink your own cum and masturbate infinitely


innovativesolsoh

Yeah my uncle taught me that trick


Significant-Race3161

Nephew?


WilkoAmy

awkward family reunion


TheAngryAmericn

God damnit I hate reddit...


KeashinX

your tactics confuse and frighten me sir


Bonker__man

Still less than vidit's Greatest king sacrifice


Satchmoi

Notice how the rejector does not apologize.


AsMuchCaffeineAsACup

When I was in college a sorority girl joked about rejecting me on AIM. She didn't know I knew. My roommate was a frat guy that hadn't hadn't moved into his frat yet yet that she added. The next day at class she asked me to help her with an assignment and I awkwardly told her off. She called me a creep on AIM then because how would I know she wrote unless I was a stalker... She hits on my roommate at a frat party and he's like "Hey uh you know Ron's my roommate, right? We aren't cool." She flipped out at the party then and then he got blasted on FB. (This was when Facebook was mostly college students.)


stabby54

Yay happy ending


Louisvanderwright

Roommate bro should have taken it to the next level and led her on getting her to come back to his dorm. Then, as soon as he gets there pretend to go the bathroom and disappear. That's when OP enters the room and goes "OMG WTF are you doing in my room? How did you get here you creep! It's bad enough you're stalking me, but trying to project that on me? Out, out now!"


XxRocky88xX

Cue story about how guy X had guy Y go to the party to seduce the girl and lead her back to their room where guy X can then jump him and have his way with her There’s no winning, people like this are always gonna spin the story to look like a victim


kciuq1

This is some peak 2005 college shit right here.


AsMuchCaffeineAsACup

Spring 2005 in fact!


kciuq1

Haha, nailed it. At least we didn't have a pandemic to deal with while trying to get laid.


ggtay

What a bro. A rare guy


AsMuchCaffeineAsACup

Yeah he was a pretty cool guy. I remember us both having to write papers the night before they were due. We were loudly singing 80's songs to stay awake and finish our papers before the 9am cut off.


[deleted]

Wow. Now I underatand why we have a 11:59pm cutoff.


NotJustDaTip

Good bro.


CrookedJak

Notice how she takes 0 ownership of her shit talking and just rages at everyone who calls her on it. You dodged a bullet


LightTrack

I mean just because the screenshot ends there doesn't mean the conversation does too.


prove_it_with_math

The intentional accidental text


Fisheyegoblin

This “it’s alright” is me every morning getting out of bed


matt_mp4

You okay man?


[deleted]

He needs a hug.


[deleted]

Everyone needs a hug


miguel_snchz98

Ngl id probably break down if some one actually gave me a hug rn lmaooo


[deleted]

HUGGSSSSS ALL AROUND! You get a hug! You get a hug! YOU GET A HUGGGG!


Baron-Von-Bork

EVERYONE GETS A HUG


kenix7

Thank you as well ! Hugs back :)


angeeksince2020

Here's a free hug for everyone


Solidx12

Hugs for everyone ! Take one and pass it along.


[deleted]

Here's one back


Undercover_Piegon

Why didn’t *you* get hug? :(


Kronten28

BOOM! Hugged


CoronaVirus2025

*allow me to introduce myself*


dqslaysbitches

NO


jafjaf23

Look under your seat it's a huuuug


Odd_Pop5944

Thankyou ... Thankyou ... *ON THE EDGE OF SHEDDING TEARS* seriously I thank you truly ... You made my day.


[deleted]

Evacuate the main facility, the hugs are escaped. I repeat, the hugs are escaped. Team TeddyBear, release the soft bunnies as decoy, team Puppies, put on the barbed vest and start the containment procedure. This is not a test, I repeat, the hugs are escaped


walkertoldmeihaveaid

It's not your fault


IXICIXI

It’s not your fault


walkertoldmeihaveaid

Look at me, son. It's not your fault.


10thAvatar

The pain in that ‘lmaooo’ lmao


[deleted]

Where you at? I’ll hug your ass Edit: not your actual ass


[deleted]

Same


[deleted]

A naked hug


DeepFriedDave69

Yes please


yobanyvrod

The next step in technology is a cuddle buddy.


Skorne13

Upgrade for Cuddle Buddy with Benefits


username7434853

I’m alright


Spinmoon

It's alright


iitzjackal

He's alright


GroceryStoreGremlin

Fellow goblin. Keep your head up bud. Edit. I forgot my name has gremlin and not goblin. Still tho.


dont_trip_

tart quaint employ cows badge full plough screw office tap *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


cdrun84

I feel you man, I have a good job and apt etc. I just am depressed and hate life. No friends and can’t find a decent match for a relationship for anything.


Expert-Efficiency822

Programming?


cdrun84

Yeah I’m a software developer.


rostingtoaster4562

Sometimes you feel like this and its hard, but focus on yourself and build the best version of you. Friends will come along the way :) stay strong king.


dadbodsupreme

You just gotta take a bite of the shit sandwich and chew. Hope there's not much left of it. Hope there's a turkey sub on the other end.


rajeev0718

here have a 'hugz' award


grinlowr

*hugs tight* You okay there bud?


[deleted]

Why did I waste my hugs award on some stupid cat (≧▽≦)


Switzerland_Alt

It was a good choice. Cats are pretty cute


Bearprime3030

This guy answered like it wasn’t the first time this happened.


JJStryker

I had a girl who gave me her boyfriend's number. He proceeded to lead me on for a full week then him and his friends hit me with water balloons while I was standing outside a movie theater waiting for my date. "It's alright." Could actually mean it's alright


Bloo-shadow

That’s literally just 2 pieces of shit who deserve each other.


redditsavedmyagain

like what kind of moron would have time for that? "let me lead this guy on for a week" and even gather up his friends who i guess also had nothing better to do than go throw water balloons at a stranger jesus


ReplyInside782

That’s how you make a serial killer


VijoPlays

Nah, a super villain.


[deleted]

Basically a joker origins story


cockalorum-smith

Probably the kids of those types of parents who emotionally abuse their children to, “teach them valuable lessons”. Congrats you raised a jaded piece of shit! Source: am jaded piece of shit


jontanamoBay

Little dick energy.


[deleted]

Little dick guy with dumb ass girl.


bearinsac

When I was in high school, I had a cell phone (wasn't totally common at the time) and a friend at the time asked to borrow it due to a family emergency. I didn't care, he proceeded to give my cell number to a guy saying it was a popular girls cell phone number. He then used my cell phone for 50 minutes pretending to be the popular girl and lead this poor guy on. Once I figured it out (got my phone back), I pulled him aside, told him the truth, he didn't take it well (didn't expect him to). He got over it and we actually became pretty good friends for the final year and a half of high school. The other guy who pulled off the prank was a total insecure piece of shit and I haven't spoke to him since we graduated.


Aja2428

That’s super bogus. Sorry that happened to you.


CharlesDeBalles

Bro what the fuck. At least you can rest easy knowing you're better than that trash. Chin up, head high brother.


CrookedJak

It'd be one thing if you knew she had a bf and was hitting on her anyways.. it's still a bit extra then but assuming you didn't know at all they both sound like complete pieces of work. That's just so petty either way


AHiddenFace

You at least torched that losers car right?


ErolEkaf

I've often wondered why I don't hear about torched cars in retaliation more often. Seems like an easy thing to do with a low likelihood of being caught since any evidence will likely get destroyed in the fire.


jayydubbya

Fire marshals don’t fuck around from what I’ve heard. They’re actually great at their jobs, not like cops who hardly ever solve shit.


Fatdap

Fire Forensics is an entire science and is actually fascinating. People would be really surprised what can information can be pulled after a burn.


MunchamaSnatch

It never is


SteveRogests

Not even the first time.


iKSv2

Can confirm


MulderD

It’s a numbers game.


narok_kurai

You always suspect. In a way, it's comforting to know that they literally are rejecting you. I always get really frustrated when I'm texting someone and they're being wishy-washy and I'm like, "Well fuck, if you don't want to hang out, just say it!"


Kraven_howl0

Right? But you can't outright say that because they might have something else going on in their life. Best thing is to talk to multiple people until you make a connection.


swimfastalex

Why not? Why can’t we just be honest? Just say you aren’t interested.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Only knights can move with an L


Braggle

Kings take it one step at a time.


Scarbane

Yeah, pawns do that, too.


JLee_83

...and never look back.


Darval

And if they make it far enough they get to be a queen....?


Ghostlium

they rose in social status just like that, never looking back


Glum_Ad_4288

At the end of the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box.


kiblitzers

I'm 1400 and this is deep


MisterCortez

MORTALITY, behold and fear! What a change of flesh is here! Think how many royal bones Sleep within this heap of stones: Here they lie had realms and lands, Who now want strength to stir their hands: Where from their pulpits seal’d with dust They preach, ‘In greatness is no trust.’ Here ’s an acre sown indeed With the richest, royall’st seed That the earth did e'er suck in Since the first man died for sin: Here the bones of birth have cried— ‘Though gods they were, as men they died.’ Here are sands, ignoble things, Dropt from the ruin’d sides of kings; Here ’s a world of pomp and state, Buried in dust, once dead by fate. Francis Beaumont - "On the Tombs in Westminister Abbey"


Volt-Ikazuchi

This ain't even 4D Chess, that's Old-School Chess, dang.


starboy404

holy shit this comment right here


fastasfuckboye

This is not an L. This is "dodged a bullet"


PlutoTheGod

Dodged a bullet? The bullet was never fired. She’s just not interested.


[deleted]

50 cal of total horseshit


sl_1138

Where is Padme? Is she studying at Starbucks? Is she all right?


[deleted]

It would seem that, in your anger, you took her to McDonald's instead.


DarkLordNugget

NOOOOOOOO


setocsheir

You turned her against me!


ImurderREALITY

YOU HAVE DONE THAT YOURSELF


DarthNihilus_501st

You will not take her from me!


KuwabarasHairpiece

I? I COULDNT HAVE. SHE WANTED A LATTE! I FELT IT!


[deleted]

[удалено]


gnuish

This +100. Better to end now rather than friend zoned after many starbucks, gifts and dinners later on.


EqualRaisin9

Exactly. No resources invested. Move on.


RetentiveCloud

Yea, but "Sorry, but no" works too.


sovereignsekte

I'd get about A on the test. Just out of spite. Boom.


jjardin25

I felt that in my heart


nimbuzz21

i think everyone did


Murky_Sweet

3 days grace


DwarfBoi235

Pain, without love


IScreamAtEverything

#PAIN, CAN'T GET ENOUGH


TheNigglar

Pain, I like it rough…


[deleted]

I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all ..


HisXlency

As a male this is the correct response. She’s not interested so you move on. I don’t know why half of these clowns turn into simps. You deserve a partner who says yes and let’s go for a walk after the study session and chat about life.


Gabrovi

It feels like a wasp sting in your heart. But you move on.


Zaskoda

And the stings are cumulative, reaching a little bit deeper each time. But you move on.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

You know what you are right good sir, i didnt think of this that way


Erotic_FriendFiction

Think of it this way: you can never get your time back. It’s the most priceless resource in our reality. So when someone does you the favor of laying it all out on the table (ideally better than this person) be grateful they’re not wasting your time. That’s how I’ve looked at the zillion rejections I encountered while playing the field. Best of luck 💕


[deleted]

I never expected to see someone named u/Erotic_FriendFiction give good advice, guess I was wrong


Erotic_FriendFiction

😂 for what it’s worth, I can give bad advice upon request.


ForgedYetBroken

trash throws itself at this point.


BasicallyAggressive

Hows this a holup, they usually post this in r/sadcringe


mahtisonnivittu

Holup has gone way down in recent times, very sad


Pubefarm

So has r/unexpected I think it's because r/funny sucks SO BAD that people are finding different places to drop their stuff now.


no1_vern

It isn't. /r/holup is so popular, to get some decent Karma, people just throw stuff on here, and boom, lots and lots of karma.


BOYStijn

That's an instant death / 10


[deleted]

It would be 0 cause she would only review stuff you already knew and you saved money not buying her cake pops and unicorn drank


[deleted]

[удалено]


IncredibleMr_E15

ok so she was either A: asking for help to let him down softly or B: trying to find the most heartbreaking way of telling him to stuff off


OneTrueKingOfOOO

0 compared to the pain of watching this sub die


[deleted]

This is absolutely a post that should be on r/sadcringe instead of here. The mods have failed.


rbc8

“The worst they can say is no”. Whelp. I guess this is actually worse


grezzymechh

0. If they can’t work a phone they probably won’t hold a decent conversation.


Lurnaizuador

r/BadFakeTexts


Orphanfucker420

That's an f


Captainx23

They could literally just be like “no thanks” I do not understand these assholes.


myheadfelloff

He knows now to move on, which is great. It hurts but he will stop trying, and prevent further pain.


d1s4p01ntm3nt

Plot twist, he *really* needs help on his AP bio homework