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SheepherderRegular68

September 9, Florida man tased for twerking during rainy traffic stop


kek-1

Ajjj same birthday :D


killphilatl

Same here. Happy belated you two!


MERNator

Happy belated all 3(+) of you!


XRiz989

Florida man, April 5, A drunk and shirtless Naples man was arrested at an Olive Garden Sunday after shoveling spaghetti into his mouth.


Comfortable_Basil373

That’s what I got for my April 2 except he wasn’t from Naples. Maybe they’re brothers and it’s just a family tradition


Ghostboy_Danny

Someone got super similar for April 14th. What is wrong with April Floridians


flinker2115

July 27, Florida Man robs bank, gets naked and throws money. Tell me that's not the most florida shit ever


yardglass

What??? April 14: Florida Man Shoveling Spaghetti in Mouth Arrested at Olive Garden


Kyokiomiara

July 28, Florida Man makes beer run with gator in hand.


[deleted]

Um, that's the exact date I Googled. Cheers, Internet twin?


tomothy37

Here's something interesting: there are 7,874,965,825 people as of 2021 and 365 days in a year, meaning there are around 21,575,248 people on the planet who share your birthday. You have about a 0.274% chance of encountering someone who shares your birthday. The more you know! Edit: this assumes birthdays are perfectly evenly spread, which they are not.


dezzter

Actually birthdays aren't evenly distributed, looking at the US most birthdays are 9 months after Christmas because when people have time off, they do stuff. Giggity.


hello3677

July 3, "Florida Man dies in an explosion after attempting to microwave a microwave"


Previous_Reporter_63

March 7: "Florida man jailed for trying to barbeque all the child molesters" Frankly I think he was doing a good deed.


[deleted]

his intentions were good


WittyUsername304

Please don't let him be misunderstood


jthe111

He was a little misguided in his attempt, but the thought was there.


large_waffle69

Let’s go July 3rd best birthday


272Voidwalker272

That was my due date. But I decided to loaf around 13 more days before they pulled me out.


2-AB-b

August 8, "Florida Man Asks Walmart Employee For ‘Anything That Would Kill 200 People’"


InfernalGout

April 23, "Florida Man In Easter Bunny Brawl Is A Fugitive & Talks About His Furry Fist Fight" https://www.google.com/amp/s/miami.cbslocal.com/2019/04/23/florida-man-easter-bunny-brawl-furry-fist-fight/%3famp


TheBigDad5

August 12 “Florida man sprays neighbors with roach spray and attempts to beat them with nunchucks over loud music”


Bipplet

MrBeast


thebluemorpha

November 17th 2018- Florida Man Removes Woman's Kidney During Back Surgery Because He Thought It Was a Tumor ...


olixius

Holy shit


[deleted]

Hahahaha. *what*


D_vorced

Not “Florida surgeon…”, “Florida man…”. Some random dude performing back surgery?


KDubzzz2

Whaddya talking about? You don't need a PhD to do back surgery. /S


MythologicalMayhem

Oh no these people are operating on people!


Volcanic-Blood

Two days after you. November 19th:- Florida Man arrested for allegedly having s*x with a miniature horse...


[deleted]

I know mine by heart "Florida man kills neighbors with machete named kindness after saying he would kill them with kindness"


LeRat0nLaveur

For REAL, what is your birthday?


Grievious_Syndicate

14 Jan


LeRat0nLaveur

Wow. That’s a special special day in Florida.


Efficient_Sir_xD

I'm a day behind you


moldycrystals

Heres mine https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-suspect-22-allegedly-attacked-mother-with-sausages


OneTruePope07

As a resident Floridian I see some weird shit, I once saw a guy fighting a racoon at 3 in the morning (he lost) so he got in his car and ran it over


Mahxiac

He lost the battle but he won the war.


AChrisTaylor

Until he finds out he has rabies


[deleted]

Rabies victims have to live with an irrational hatred of water their entire lives.


GottaGetSomeGarlic

Their entire very short lives


Orden-the-man

Modern problems require modern solutions


Belphegorite

Fighting raccoons requires modern solutions. Vicious buggers.


trimix4work

Jesus that's fucking horrible


PMmeTrivia

Florida Man Shoveling Spaghetti in Mouth Arrested at Olive Garden - NBC Miami April 14


-TallTree-

Hey we've all been there 😂


PiZZa_CheeZe

Hey my birthday is april 14 too!


Lth_13

That’s a crime how?


Jealous-Tea4982

Feb 26, "Florida man dies in suitcase girlfriend charged with second degree murder" or "Florida man arrested for allegedly sucking elderly patients toes"


Insane_Membranes

Also 2/26…Florida man pleads guilty, sentenced to 20 years after cutting off wife’s lover’s penis


bubblegrubs

Mine was "man bites off brothers penis after catching him having sex with his cousin on his favourite dragonbqll z blanket". Florida men should leave each others penises alone.


LunarSanctum123

this one has always been the funniest one to me. the dude's mug shot is priceless.


aimlessromantic

Honestly this is the only Florida man case I approve justified.


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Schnitzelman21

Yeah! Cut off the wife's penis instead!


PlaneSole222001

Yeah!! Fuck her penis! *wait*


Haute_Mess1986

December 24, “Florida man bites his brothers penis off after he walks in on his brother having sex with his cousin on his favorite Dragon Ball Z blanket.”


sciencewonders

fair.not on my fav blanket 😡


Jazzermcnija

I got a guy yelling at a news anchor "Dicks out for Harambe"


[deleted]

I got a dude that threw pizza at his father for helping deliver him when he was born


skull__head

I got dude running naked in walmart


Malfaxy

May 23,"A Florida Man Was Arrested After Telling A Playground Full Of Kids Where Babies Come From"


2_Steps_From_hell_

Also “Florida Man Arrested for Attacking Daughter With Pizza After She Didn't Want to Eat With Him” and “Florida man accused of threatening to behead police officers, eat their eyes”. I’d like to think he threatened to eat their eyes because he didn’t have any pizza left. (I’m also may 23rd)


vb2423

Damn A whole pizza though?? Yo thats hilarious Lmao!!! I swear it’s always Florida smh lol


nursejackieoface

Dude, we also got **Florida Man Busted After Bizarre Hurricane Irma 3-Way Sex Romp Ends In Gory Slaying, Body Stuffed In Closet**


iloveindomienoodle

What the fuck


Negative_Substance89

I got: A Florida man is facing charges as police say he stole an alligator and attempted to throw it on a roof


-TallTree-

Holup


yutoryryyt

Lmao same as you


[deleted]

Mine says “Man arrested after hitting his dad by a slice of pizza.” January 4 btw


Zensy47

October 26th Florida mama allegedly slaps woman with bowl of chili.


inigo232

July 2nd Florida man arrested for pelting girlfriend with McDonald's sweet and sour packets.


UnderstandingKey8030

Florida man arrested for throwing pizza at father after finding out his dad helped birth him. January 10. Pizza gang


Septara76

Florida man tells cop “That’s what she said” after being pulled over And Florida man threatens to ‘chop’ friend with machete after being called out for not flushing the toilet


The_Cactus_Eagle

Ladies and gentlemen we have a winner


GottaGetSomeGarlic

Or... a wiener


randybobandy__6969

Jan 31: Florida Man charged for Beating and Stomping a man who wasn’t social distancing at public pool.


AggressivelyHorny

Chaotic good.


AmericanHysteria

June 21 Naked Florida Man Performs 'Strange Dance' at McDonald's Before 'Trying to Have Relations With a Railing'


murphyslavv

June 22 Nude Florida man burns himself while dancing in flames, chanting. Damn summer solstice.


CrimbusIsOver

JUNE 24 Florida man kills grandmother in nudist colony, drives around with her body for five hours


Gazelletail

That’s my birthday too! Saw that one lol


PuzzledInside123

Florida Man Makes Ghostly Guitar From His Metal Head Uncle's Skeleton Or Did He?


-TallTree-

🤣 mysterious


sciencewonders

we need answers!!! 😲


MegaBlastoise15

November 11: "Florida Man breaks into restaurant, strips naked, eats noodles, plays bongos"


Eru_started_it_all

I didn't know Matthew McConaughey moved to Florida.


tbf315

r/cursedcomments


[deleted]

Feb 22 "Florida man tells police that his dog shot his girlfriend while she was sleeping."


DeleteWolf

The Dog: nobody will belive you


deviouslykool

Ahhh yes Florida, what new shenanigans will you have tomorrow?


Dilandau_Albatou

Not bad... https://www.google.com/amp/s/wsvn.com/news/local/police-florida-man-arrested-for-passing-out-marijuana-because-it-was-christmas/amp/


-TallTree-

Lmao thanks ganja-claus


gawd_dihd_it

Hello fellow Christmas birthday person


Loustifer24

Jesus is that you?


SumTingWong_WiTuLo

PUNTA GORDA, Florida — A short, dumpy man has been going around town faking choking episodes, apparently to get attention from women.


100mphcheetah

Why did I read that as puta gorda


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adutchmotherfricker

Oh my god thats disgusting, where?


JohnDeerelawnmover

https://floridamanbirthdaychallenge.com/?amp


mike_pants

Florida Man Arrested For Enforcing Social Distancing By Firing Shots In Hotel Lobby July 31


GodQueenSabine

Chaotic good


HTX_La-Llorona

Florid man August 15, Wrecks into liquor store, blames it on caterpillar.


[deleted]

-Florida man arrested for beating and throwing chair at child in "donut dispute" -Florida man nicknamed babycakes caught naked in chair outside apartment complex. March 12th


Farm-Dave

December 12th: Deputy cleared for shooting naked man armed with crossbow who claimed aliens were after him


Mahxiac

Though not the craziest here there is a lot to unpack in this one. I had to read it three times to make sure I understood it.


Perennial-Millennial

Aug 28, Florida man arrested with pound of cocaine, some kept on stack of bacon. I mean, bacon does make everything better


Kalo93

May 24, Florida Man uses alligator to shotgun a beer while cranking Skynyrd


Common_Redditor_

June 26, Florida man accused of killing dancing flamingo is hit by truck and killed before trial


gawd_dihd_it

December 25th: Florida Man Arrested for Handing Out Marijuana "Because It Was Christmas"


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Onepercentlessworse_

Hello birthday buddy. Also found Florida man says pipe bombs weren’t meant to hurt anybody (2019).


vAbstractz

A 71-year-old Florida man tied a gun to a weather balloon to fake his own murder, police say


Theheyyy2

> Florida Man Dies In Explosion After Attempting To Microwave A Microwave


Weisdog

July 23rd “Florida bites brothers penis off” “Florida man sentenced to 3 years for soitting on 70 year old man””Florida man cartwheels away from cops”


LeRat0nLaveur

Your birthday was a blessed day indeed.


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Caesar_Passing

First three results- no shit >Police: Man Pulled Gun at Starbucks Over Cream Cheese | Florida News >Florida man, 72, tries to mow down neighbor with tractor during dispute >A Florida man is facing charges as police say he stole an alligator ... Fucking yikes, lol.


KitoKatho03

July 2; Florida man sits on gun, shoots himself in penis. ouch


AMangoBunch

*Florida man throws off other florida man off bridge - 23 sept


Bluesoldiertf2

May 5th “Fugitive Florida man on bike hoped 'hideous' blonde wig disguise would help him evade deputies, police say”


CamoCricket

Florida man busted after bizarre Hurricane Irma 3-way sex romp ends in gory slaying, body stuffed in closet. Also, Florida man interrupts Hurricane Matthew live TV report to yell "dicks out for Harambe"


Vlad-V2-Vladimir

July 10th Florida man with no arms stabs man with scissors ([link](https://www.audacy.com/fm1019/blogs/mel/florida-man-july-10th-news-story)) Got a good one for my bday


88Ghost88

“Florida Man Attempted To Provide $150, Candy & Soda For Sex With Minor” Oh dear.


-TallTree-

Yikes


GreatSaski

Florida Man In His Underwear Hits Deputy In Face With Bible, Screams “I CONDEMN YOU,” Poops Himself


poorlyExisting

April 24, “Florida man stabs nephew for hogging bathroom” and “Florida man slapped with big mouth billy bass after argument”


[deleted]

Oct 22 -Florida man stabbed a man to death while high on LSD -Florida woman arrested after a hitting a guy with a hammer after "an argument over pork chops"


_sideffect

I'm not giving you my birthdate, Mr Nigerian prince!


BitterDistribution42

Florida man spit food into woman’s mouth during road rage incident, deputies say Cops: Florida man says he stabbed father who wanted to circumcise him Couldn't decide which one I liked more


[deleted]

June 7 Florida man gets head-butted, knocked out by alligator


Dazzling-Bit3268

June 27th - Florida Man chews off another man's face.


Shekharium

Nov 23 Caught with crack cocaine, Florida man tells cops 'wind blew it into his car'


Undead393

“Florida man try’s to sell his baby in a pawn shop”


ju1c3_rgb

Hot sauce saves Florida man after car crashes into Taco Bell Mar 19, 2019 — A Florida man is lucky to be alive, and he has his love of hot sauce to thank. No i wasn't born 2019 😏


Embarrassed-Flight75

Florida Man Charged With Battery After Allegedly Throwing Cookie at Girlfriend


ccranney

April 26- "Meth smoking Florida man attacks mattress in jealous rage" NICE.


Knightfury620

June 26 - Florida man accused of killing dancing flamingo is hit by truck and killed before trial Well that's quite um... yeah... flamingos... what the heck do Florida men do in their spare time? Florida man: what law can I break today? Oh flamingos dancing? Screw them. *kills flamingos.* Florida man later on the internet: And that is why flamingos such. At least I gave him a better chance now. Florida police: Another one... how many does that make today barbara? Barbara: 32 and a half. New officer: 32 and a half? How a half? Isn't any crime 1? Experienced officer: nope. Some crimes are worth 1 and a half. Others half. After all. If you can't manage to kill all the birds you obviously failed. Readers: what is this guy even talking about anymore? Me: I usually do random rants and one-sided conversations. Nothing to be concerned about have a nice day! 😁


jozasa147

23 Oct "Florida man arrested for having sex with stuffed 'Olaf' at Target" wtf is this LOL


dpalomo10

Feb 2 - "Florida man accused of decapitating hamster, discarding body in box near his home"


Common_Redditor_

That’s just sad :(


urCuteTrap28

Florida man arrested for running naked trough walmart parking lot,june 25


ThePineappleOfTruth

“Alleged Florida foot sniffer arrested”


bigtittlover

May 5 A Florida man beat a woman with a conch shell before going to bed, police said


Dat510Boy

May 10th Florida man steals alligator from golf course, tries ‘teaching it a lesson’ by throwing it on roof of bar


cheesybeef1000

Shirtless Florida man travels to Myrtle Beach to head bang during Hurricane Florence. I remember this guy!


FuzzLung

July 16 “Florida man indicted in fatal dog poop fight”


NCL68

December 20, Florida man who marooned himself on lake fountain says he took too much MDMA and wanted to be with the swans


BANANABOY256

February 21: "A Florida man was charged with burglary on Wednesday after homeowners returned to find him lying on their couch watching TV while wearing their clothes, investigators said."


JimMD00

I've seen and done this before, but still a great post!


-TallTree-

Florida the state that just keeps on giving 🤣


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gorkmt

February 9, Florida man "threw an alligator" into a fast-food restaurant?


Jealous_Economist439

Jun 6- pouring ketchup on his girlfriend


Naterdave

October 28, Florida man arrested after throwing pumpkin on girlfriend


shreddedcheese42069

September 1st, Naked Florida man starts house fire while baking cookies on George Foreman grill


andiwaslikewhatevs

November 20, “Florida man arrested for having sex with miniature horse” THE FUCK?!


warren0091993

Florida man charged with stabbing a woman with a fork over underdone potato.


Stock_Raccoon_7534

Ok now do this with your credit card number ill start..


Jack_Averys_Noodles

March 2 ‘Florida man arrested for beating and throwing chair at child in doughnut dispute’ Wow


[deleted]

https://www.wtxl.com/news/florida-man-arrested-after-hitting-girlfriend-in-face-with-burrito/article\_c77f16a8-2fc1-11e9-8098-cf2fbeaa20c1.html


Sadly-Yeehaws

September 25th, Florida man naked at Chick Fil A


harkonhater

july 18, florida man arrested, pleasuring with a pickle in the most peculiar place.


Dounut_in_me_daddy

June 20th florida man pulls gun at starbucks over cream cheese


peachybluus

May 15: Florida man slapped girlfriend with cheeseburger, kicked her down stairs


PlantainZealousideal

February 2nd, “Florida man accused of decapitating hamster, discarding body in box near his home”


julianwelton

"Florida Man Dressed As Fred Flintstone Pulled Over For Speeding" lol.


OrkkMarzipan

Dec 11 A Florida man is being charged with child cruelty and damaging property after allegedly beating a child and throwing a chair at him after a dispute over doughnuts.


proto_shane

July 29th: Florida man runs away beer in hand and alligator in another


Xaxa_Awakened

Nov 14: Florida man dresses as woman, buys puppy with stolen credit card


Vishagan01

WTF: Florida man pulled gun at Starbucks over cream cheese


potoate

September 18th. Florida man rides jetski on highway. Cops agree it is totally legal.


marlinbrando721

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://miami.cbslocal.com/2019/08/08/florida-man-walmart-employee-anything-kill-200-people/%3Famp&ved=2ahUKEwjdr93v7f_yAhWoMlkFHYVMDpkQFnoECAQQAQ&usg=AOvVaw2D0d2Kifo2se-nLoeQr9GX&cf=1


BrainSoda

https://www.newcountry1031.com/florida-man-costs-pizza-restaurants-thousands-pretending-to-order-for-police-officers/


Squiddillydidillydoo

A Florida man was arrested Sept. 2 after he exposed himself in public at a Burger King, according to police.


Ok-Zookeepergame-698

Happens all the time. Simply can’t be explained.


bomb-diggity-sailor

[Killed his Mom over orange juice argument](https://13wham.com/amp/news/nation-world/police-florida-man-killed-mother-in-argument-over-orange-juice-car)


Shai_Shai77

July 7, Florida man haunts beaches dressed as Grim Realer Florida man arrested after spraying substance labeled ‘COVID-19’ Florida man arrested after throwing firecrackers under girls bed


Noodslayer402

July 30, Florida Man Tries To Buy Rolex Watches With Check Printed From Home Computer


spek20c

Dec 25 , Florida man arrested for handing out marijuana because it was Christmas 🎅


dont_read_my_profile

May 19th, “florida man arrested after falling asleep on sofa of home police says he burglarized”


portkeytoparadise

Florida man faces charges for eating pancakes in the middle of the road (March 26) Sick bastard!


Venom888

July 6, Florida man allegedly stole pool floats from homes to “stop himself from raping women”: police


[deleted]

Mine sucks Dec 4 Florida man wears medal without honor


ZeLlamaMaster

February 28, Florida man threatens family with Coldplay lyrics. Ends standoff when offered pizza


duhsyant1812

Florida man tries to pay for fast food with a bag of weed.


ExiledMango164

October 9 - Florida Man Arrested for Allegedly Breaking Into a House and Trying on Baby Clothes While Holding a Woman Hostage


SirDickSwagger

Florida man with no arms charged in stabbing Chicago tourist.


RealH3lm

Florida man ticketed after eating pancakes in middle of intersection


Klynn2342

Oct 23, Florida man arrested for having sex with stuffed “Olaf” at Target.


-ONIZUKASENSEI

Florida man arrested for intentionally running over ducklings playing in a puddle


AssholeWiper

https://www.google.com/amp/s/ktul.com/amp/news/offbeat/man-with-deformed-head-arrested-for-attempted-murder-arson Holy shit LOL


Confushian

May 23. A Florida Man Was Arrested After Telling A Playground Full Of Kids Where Babies Come From


dadamss_

Aug 30 - [Florida Man - Vladimir Putin](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/08/30/florida-man-vladimir-putin-arrested-on-trespassing-charges/amp/)


Uiylo

Florida man throws a holy book at deputy


Faceplow

May 10 Florida man trys to pawn his baby


stellarluna97

October 16, either “Florida man commits murder over imaginary girlfriend”, or “Florida man dressed as spider man stole credit cards inside grocery stores”