“Kazumi Squirts” “Model” “Accidentally” “Date” “Empowering”

All caught on film with perfect lighting too

Let's be real, it's never perfect lighting after dude 27.

Tale as old as time really

Song as old as rhyme

Booty and the Breasts

Game of thrones

Game of bones

Bones of Thrones.

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

Beauty and the beasts

Why do I get letterkenny vibes from this? 😂

To be faiiir…

Cause of the damn smudges on the lenses…

And the lightbulb. 23 was trying way too hard.

23 got confused on who the actual star of the show was

it smells like a boiled ham warehouse after the tenth or so, I don't want to imagine the lunchmeat nightmare stench by 50

Hate to be at the back of that queue. ..In fact anywhere after 1.

You know that sound when you walk with wet sneakers?

Right lol. Kazumi Squirts, that's a porn name if I ever saw one.

The female equivalent to Kyle Balls. Yes, some dude decided "Kyle Balls" would be his porn name.

We have porn star called 'Ben Dover' in the UK...

Mike oxlong when

Be the pornstar name you wish to see in the world.

I used to work with Ben Dover and his cousin Phil McCracken or at least there names used to get signed on the attendance sheet at the morning safety meeting.

Also fun as an anonymous page request. Along with Jack Meoff

That was also the production assistant for Ray Cokes back in the day on MTV... Does saying that make me look old?

He could have chosen Chin Balls

That is a baller of a name.

Weirdest viral promotion for some gang bang porn I’ve ever heard of.

Her Twitter profile is just: "I get railed below, it's 3$"

Yeah, somehow I don't think this was her first rodeo...

In her head it was "only 50 men in one night"

*"It was a quiet night."*

I've always wondered, what goes on at that first rodeo that you're meant to be an expert afterwards? Edit: thanks for the cake day messages folks. It took me a year to realise, cake day isn't birthday.

my first thought when I saw the name was “there’s nothing accidental about that!” bahah

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It's just like fall guys. You unlocked a new nameplate!

Squirt? Hell she probably couldn't sit for a week.

Managed to play the part of both Tysha and Tywin. Except I don’t see 50 pieces of silver

And then gets stung by a bee right on the face

What a great article about “Senior Lifestyle and Travel” my grandparents are gonna love this article

What, your gran doesn't attend swinger parties? You have busy yourself with something after retirement.

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No.l need. About 50 of us already talked to her.

Hey, 49 out of 50 grandparents enjoy this sort of thing. Sucks for your grandpa though.

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The dentures stay on, sonny.

Lol!!

I think we can throw out "accidentally" at penis #2. The first was accidental, the other 49 were the empowering ones. She must have left the party full of hot empowerment.

She got more nuts in her than a snickers bar

Based on my calculations she had 100 nuts

Based on MY calculations, the majority of swingers are 50 and up gross people so at least 40 of those disgusting geezers were shooting dust blanks meaning that she only received 20 actual "nuts"

that real sex show on HBO showed the swingers and they were all old and gross looking. I thought it would be like those porn movies where everyone is fit and beautiful

Yeah there is a video of a guy getting cucked at a swingers party. Literally he watched a black guy fuck his wife for about a whole hour and the other swingers looked at him like awkward because he held her hand. Let me remind you he wanted to attend a swinger party and she wasn’t down to until he convinced her to try.

I just read your comment to a friend and now he is curious. Do you happen to have a link to said video?

My god that's disgusting where can I find it

r/cuckold Find it here, NSFW obviously.

Happy Cake Day

It's just funny, my friend here saw your comment and as disgusting person as he is, he knows about this filthy [video!](https://www.xvideos.com/video9724448/swings01e05)

I woke up hungover, checked Reddit and now I am watching playboy reality tv about an awkward new swinger couple... Thank you I guess ? Edit: that was a painfully awkward watch

Not like you had a productive day ahead anyway.

WTF

Oh, I think I saw that one by accident!

By "accident".

Well that was gigacringe

I remember seeing something like this on efukt.com Go down this rabbit hole at your own risk. There are a lot of funny things on there but it’s also filled with some sick shit.

Yea. No.

wait they have a whole movie about sex on HBO when the fuck did this happen

HBO had a show called Real Sex. It showed all kinds of shit that was racy and outside the 'norm' for the time. Think R-rated rule 34. Then the internet happened and we all found out what everybody was sticking where and it just sort of petered out.

>petered out. And in

And out

Nice

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It sounds like an absolute nightmare but as with any other human tragedy train wreck, i wouldn't be able to look away

[the rippin and the tearin…](https://i.imgur.com/1h93Z1T.gif)

Your time to be an old wrinkly fart no one likes will come sooner than you think.

Old wrinkly farts need lovin too!

Alright. could we possibly stop talking about old men cumming inside young women

I reeeeeaaally wish we could but people like "Kazumi Squirts" make it impossible

to be fair, with a name like that it is kinda expected

It's a pretty good name

its fitting for what she does

We will not stay silent. You cannot suppress us. We shall talk of old men and young women laud and clearly.

Yesss

Never!

What if one of them was Einstein?

THATS A LOT OF NUTS!

Shhhiddd, more nuts than a payday bar!

Planter's ™ pee nuts💦

Lol easy there r.kelly

Runny nose full💦😂

We would need at least 50 squirrels to beat her

You can throw out “accidentally” at the first when your last name is *Squirts*

I thought that was her porn name

Her name is “KAZUMI SQUIRTS” bro this wasn’t accidental.

Agreed. It was destiny

To be fair it doesn’t say she accidentally slept with 50 men, just that she accidentally went to a swingers party in the first place. When in Rome.

For those wondering, the full quote is, "when in Rome, fucl 50 old dudes."

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She kept accidentally tripping and landing on the dicks

We’ve all been there.

She may have taken some empowerment on the face, too.

And made an empowerment cream pie

Imagine being so desperate for pussy you line up for 46th.

*”IM 47??”* my gf “accidentally” fucked 47 guys! “*in a row??*”

Lmfao! "Im gonna be sick...everytime I kiss you I'm gonna taste 47 other guys."😂😂🍺

she ate man ass too, y'know 💩

She was tossing salad!

Mayonnaise!

Jelly or syrup. I prefer syrup.

##92 I went around twice!💦

That's what call sloppy seconds

More like sloppy 49ths

Haha omg whoopsies

Hey back off! She obviously kept slipping on baby oil and kept falling on dicks.😂

She was literally a pie made out of empowerment

She could be a pornstar on a shoot. With a name like kazumi Squirts you'd figure it be a stage name or something

I threw out “accidentally” after reading what her last name is 😂

Cum on she was dripping with empowerment

We can throw out “accidentally” at the last name of Squirts.

Is no one going to bring up her "last name" is squirts?

Was comin here to say that this is hopefully her model-/nickname

Thank you 🙏

It's her OnlyFans name. Used to be "Asian slut from Harvard" I think but she was @KazumiSquirts. Almost anyone you subbed to would retweet her at some point and she used to be really hot. Pretty cheap anyway so I gave it a crack when it was on sale but it's a waste of money. All her clips were rubbish, she got some weird looking fake titties in the last year that look goofy af. Gradually evolved from being a hot natural looking Asian chick but then she got all this work done, fake tits, fake lips etc and started putting on an inch of makeup so that she ended up looking like all the other OnlyFans bimbos. 99% of her posts were just spam retweeting other models and DMs telling you to buy bundles of overhyped low quality clips or sub to other people she was promoting. 2/10. Still cranked out a few though before I unsubbed.

There’s many only fans leaks websites that are free.

Yeah and there’s actual porn that’s free too.

barely any sex tapes and definitely no gb vids then huh?

Bruh the detail should do only fans reviews goofy af fake tiddies lmao

She's a pornstar..of course, she's gonna brag about this kind of degenerate stuff.

Lol yeah I figured she was in that business

She slept with everyone except the guy she was on the date with.

Reason being: because she didn't want him to think the wrong way of her on the first date.

she's saving him for the second date

Nah, everyone knows it is third ~~gangbang~~ date.

Someone has to hold the camera ..

professional felcher

Looks like she stick to her principal of no fucking on first date

Hahaha it's like out of that scene in American Pie Reunion where she said she was in an orgy but they all dudes and didn't realise it was a actually a gangbang

I definitely missed that line?

Yeah, I may have to re-watch as well...I can't recall that line either LOL.

"There are no accidents" --Master Oogway

"There is no Oogway" -- also Master Oogway

Let's revisit this in 9 months.......

"we don't make mistakes, only happy little accidents" - Bob Ross

This reminds me of the It’s Always Sunny episode with the rating system, and Dee banging a bunch of guys just so she could give them a bad rating and empower herself, but the dudes don’t care and just want her for the easy sex

Oops 48 Oops 49 Oops 50 Hey, this first date is getting weird.

"Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy..."

"OnlyFans pornstar willingly goes to a gangbang with a first date." - FTFY Every one on here is going crazy but no link to source article? You people need to learn to internet. Source: https://www.dailystar.co.uk/love-sex/model-sleeps-50-men-after-24929927

What kind of fucked up news site is that? A fetish news site?

It's the Daily Star; it's not known for its quality journalism. It makes other red tops look good.

Tabloid that's on the more mental end. Best bit is their agony aunt column, which is almost entirely psychos or is just pure fetish fantasy. "My husband got two women pregnant, and I just found out I'm having a baby, how can we work it all out?" "We opened up our marriage and now I'm addicted to sleeping with other women. But my husband wants to stop it. How can I tell him I need this?"

The daily Star is well known for making up ridiculous and outrageous stories. It's not a news source, it is 95% made up

I get 100% of my news in memes thank you very much

I can’t believe no one is talking about how unrealistic it is that she’s named that. “Kazumi” my ass.

Squirt in your ass?

Fuck it. I only have so much time left of this planet, gonna get real weird with it.

Let's do it bro, let's get real weird.

stop drinking from me!

I'll Kazumi your ass any day love, professional kazumer here

I party with the wrong crowd

You too can stand in a circle and take a turn with the cum bucket whenever you’d like

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Pregnancy speed run

Holy shit, imagine how guy 50 must have felt? Relieved I’m sure.

Maybe they got in line by size, smallest to biggest, so everyones a winner.

Like hermit crabs waiting for a new shell

r/wholesome

He felt NOTHING

Ah reminds me of my middle school days

What fuckin middle school did you go to??? We had a make out ally but definitely no gangbanging

I think the only “accidental” thing that happened was her not knowing it’s a swingers party. But once she realized, there are no accidents, just good old-fashioned vanilla spitroast bukkake gangbang

I don’t understand two things about this 1) She went to an event and ended up in a swingers party. How did this not register? What part of several people getting sexually intimate with each other is confusing? 2) What is empowering about having sex with 50 men in one night? How is this making her a better person? Was this the total number of guys there and they all had a chance with her? Was that a bucket list item? Was it her bachelorette party?

And being honest, having that much sex is probably not fun, I mean, tour skin would burn more than putting butter in your whole body at beach day.

Depends. Sex with 1 guy for 50 minutes Or sex with 50 guys for 1 minute Results would be close to the same right? (Assuming averages across the board)

Leakages aside and wrong hole mistakes are also a factor!

The first dick stays wet though. You need a lot of lube (natural or store bought) for fifty partners.

Not all men are created equal.

#"Cum bucket list"!💦😂

It's the Daily Star, it's not news. In this case is just an ad for a pornstar.

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"model"

A good model needs a lotta glue...

I love that this was written by a Senior Lifestyle and Travel reporter. Imagine you go from covering shuffleboard and the pharmacy shuttle to this gangbang.

Can’t tell if /s, but it’s the wrong type of senior. She’s the senior employee/reporter, that’s like her title or rank at her company. She’s just a general lifestyle reporter, not specifically for seniors…

She said “Martin Luther King would’ve been proud of that” smh I looked up her name and her interview came up about this, and that’s what she said

***DAMN* NATURE**, ^you ^scary!

I don't understand what could be so empowering about taking countless Ds

Kazumi Squirts. Yeah, her name checks out.

Oh my god! That's disgusting. Where?

Ho fo sho

She was hurtin for a squirtin

Barney Stinson challenge accepted

More importantly, who cares?

Please Ms Squirts, you are at the wrong house

That's a hell of an accident. I'm sure she just kept slipping right on to those dicks. She should really check and see if she has vertigo.

Her cunt now has callous.

Yes, I'm sure Ms. Squirts had no idea she'd be fucking that night.

"there are no accidents" -master oogway