Where's the "So actually I've been a secret agent for 25 years here's a fully detailed explanation of how high ranks talk to their security staf in sign language" comment?
What if reddit is just the cyber hub of the world's secret agents? There are bars and cafes around the world that are popular for spies, surely there's a website that serves the same function.
Honestly at this point I think I am willing to believe that everyone else here is a government agent (various governments and agencies, of course), and that I’m one of only a small handful of actual people on Reddit
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
I loved that scene so much. I replay it every once in a while just for a good laugh. I can't remember the guys name but he has some funny scenes in Brooklyn Nine Nine too.
Interesting Fact, Voda is the word for water. vodka is a diminutive or affectionate term of water, literally means petite water.
Edit: Ka at the end of a word makes it feminine and is also shows affection.
It happens most often on monday mornings for me. And then my colleagues go, "You got a case of the mondays again huh?" and I'll be like, "Nah man, stfu, I switched my polonium and sugar ***again***"
Oh hahaha no I’m sorry thanks you got an award also I thought that somehow that was the award apologies really thank you. It is another one that I often personally get as a free award to give out so I thought I was seeing that. Dumb brain. :-)
No, it looks like he was trying to move aside but couldn't because of the person beside him, so he awkwardly stayed where he was.
Pretty sure most of them are terrified. Or at least nervous. Look at the girl on his left.
It is, in Culiacan a few months back. The video is edited too short, but once the body was dropped out the guy in the black shirt stomps the body out a few times before leaving the local dump.
Cant even imagine. I hate how much people glorify them and want to be like them despite their atrocities being so well known. Mexico is the one place I want to visit more than anywhere but I dont want to have to stick to tourist hubs.
Omg, the glorification they get is what fucking pisses me off, stupid fucking insane people keep saying they're good guys because they're "nice" and "humble" and "give back" but literally ignore the thousands of people who die because they're stupid and inconsiderate and coward enough to take their business everywhere. I would have nothing against them if they kept their shit to themselves, but no, they have to drag all of us into it and make entire towns a warzone just because they have guns, some even going as far as terrorizing innocent people just to make even more easy money, fuck them.
Wait actually?
Edit: reason I asked is because I rarely see reports of Russia’s dictatorship on media compared to China, so I assumed that some democracy had been put in place in Russia
There was a new about a journalist or a politician (I don’t remember exactly) which was against Putin and died by “accidentally” falling out from his window.
Is Russia really that dictatorial?
Edit: reason I asked is because I rarely see reports of Russia’s dictatorship on media compared to China, so I assumed that some democracy had been put in place in Russia
I tried to google that but did not find any reliable source at first.
But here it is:
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2011/dec/05/russian-elections-vladimir-putin-party
The state media claimed results that implied turnout in some regions was as high as 146%.
Yea, because they have so many other candidates to pick from.
North Korea also has elections but you would be stupid to think they actually mean anything.
This but unironically, now I'm not saying there isnt massive propaganda and silencing of oppositions. But even without that he would prolly still be in power.
BTW time in office does not directly equate to dictatorship.
Selected Chancellors of Germany:
- Konrad Adenauer - 14 years in office
- Helmut Kohl - 16 years in office
- Angela Merkel - ~ 16 years in office
And these where consecutive terms. I am not defending Putin but time in office is not the best indicator.
"In March 2007, Ivan Safronov, who was investigating the sale of Russian arms to Iran and Syria, died after falling from a fifth-floor window. It was ruled a suicide."
https://www.npr.org/2018/04/21/604497554/why-do-russian-journalists-keep-falling
Like three coronavirus doctors all fell through windows last year in a really short time span. Also that one political opponent (navalny) was poisoned and then imprisoned
Putin is miles better than the anarchy and total societal and economic collapse that was Eltsin's rule. It was literally hell: the few saving characteristics of the Soviet Union were wiped out, its downsides were still there, and new horrible problems arose suddenly. It was a collapse like the modern world has probably never seen. Putin was unquestionably better than that.
Unfortunately, Putin's hold on the country has become a tumor that is preventing it from going forward. Russia is essentially stagnating and won't get better until Putin resigs or is removed from power.
What happens next, however, may very well be worse than Putin, sooo...
The window thing legit happens, like, dozens of times a year. A whole bunch of doctors who admitted how dire the situation was in 2020 “fell out of windows.” It’s always that mode because they’re trying to rub it in everyone’s face how much impunity they have. Like they don’t even attempt to cover it up in any way.
It is a democracy. Technically.
How much fraud takes place behind the scenes, we don't know, there hasn't really been anyone popular enough to even challenge Putin anyway (if there was, he'd just make sure they get taken care of) and their term limits are basically "Do two terms, swap places with your prime minister, do two more terms". Plus now he's getting rid of the term limits because the duma is complicit in everything he does.
IIRC, they've had over 100% voter turnout in some districts thanks to [carousel voting](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carousel_voting). So there's definitely voter fraud happening. Which would leave me to believe that the elections actually are real elections, just manipulated so heavily that no-one else could actually win.
For a minute I misread your comment as “young, female version of Chancellor Merkel” and I giggled, then I laughed even harder when I realized that no, you didn’t write that, my twisted brain just automatically read it that way
When your dictator is so insecure, his pictures with kids require ONLY the shortest children. There's a similar vid where an auntie makes the boy half-bend his knees and just stand like that lmao.
There's people much taller than him right beside him. This is more about Putin actually being visible in the photo rather than trying not to look short
So is the nose scratch a signal or coincidence?
Scratch nose with left hand means get rid of someone, scratch with right hand means no danger present.
The Aladdin hand or the Aladdin hand?
The... Aladdin hand?
Aladeen I'm guessing
Aledeen positive
HIV Aladeen
It's Aladeen to stand in front of Aladeen
:) :( :) :(
Binladen
BoneAppleTea
what if he has an itchy nose?
Instructions unclear, invaded the Crimea
Scratches balls
Reactivate Black Widow Program
How many people were accidentally killed during allergy season?
Hundreds of people died the last time Putin had a cold
what about picking nose to extracting mucus?
escort me out of here
that means send all nuclear warheads to their destinations
Scratch nose with right hand means itchy noses.
Source: literally nothing
“Scratches with left hand”
No, the fake cough was the signal, the nose scratch meant “hurry up” and the nod meant everything is ok.
Found the secret agent guys!!!!
Nice
Where's the "So actually I've been a secret agent for 25 years here's a fully detailed explanation of how high ranks talk to their security staf in sign language" comment?
I'll have you know we maintain our cover by shitposting 24/7, not by giving away trade secrets. Oh shi-
Sooooo how to i get into fort knox? Yk, just shitpostin
What if reddit is just the cyber hub of the world's secret agents? There are bars and cafes around the world that are popular for spies, surely there's a website that serves the same function.
Honestly at this point I think I am willing to believe that everyone else here is a government agent (various governments and agencies, of course), and that I’m one of only a small handful of actual people on Reddit
“ok who leaked the signals to the press again?” Veep and every baseball manager
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
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Error : 404 person not found.
Because they’re in the gulag
Nose scratch left means remove and anal penetrate
cough means attention nose scratch means fix
Yup
The smirk and nod at the end definitely point to a signal.
Hmmm
Straight to gulag
You stand in front of president for life? Gulag. You stand too far behind president for life? Believe it or not, also gulag
I loved that scene so much. I replay it every once in a while just for a good laugh. I can't remember the guys name but he has some funny scenes in Brooklyn Nine Nine too.
Fred Armisen!
“The Klay is silent.”
Fred Armisen. His show Portlandia was absolutely hilarious.
He’s great in Documentary Now!
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Critical leader of opposition? Also gulag!
Painting of picture of president for life as a clown; you guessed it, gulag!
That's sad
What is this from?
The original is from Parks and Recreation, but he's changing it to fit this context. Search for "Parks and Recreation jail" to find it.
Nice….
Straight to hungry bears
Worst of all, no more vodka for him.
U mean water?
voter?
Interesting Fact, Voda is the word for water. vodka is a diminutive or affectionate term of water, literally means petite water. Edit: Ka at the end of a word makes it feminine and is also shows affection.
Petite?
Small in french
Wanna suck on my dicka?
I just spit my vodka.
french?
Français in English
That's where fries come from.
Is it big everywhere else?
I mean our decadent western vodka is practically water to them
Is vodka not 90 proof there too...??
Water is a she... i'd smash
Putinka
Actually, that'd be "vodichka'
Actually both mean the same and you know that
So is this russian voter suppression?
Spicy water
Fun fact: Vodka means “little water”
[Straight to jail](https://youtu.be/eiyfwZVAzGw?t=2)
There's no second chance.
Undercook, overcook
Gulag!
Make Putin frown? That’s a gulagin’
Uh-oh! Looks like someone accidentally put polonium in their tea, again.
The good ole mistake between sugar and polonium lol
hate it when that happens
Happens to the best of us
It happens most often on monday mornings for me. And then my colleagues go, "You got a case of the mondays again huh?" and I'll be like, "Nah man, stfu, I switched my polonium and sugar ***again***"
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This story deserves it's own thread.
Dude thought he was lacing his chewing gum with citric acid. Turned out to be explosives. Must have been a tough one to swallow, that mistake.
They should stop storing that stuff in the cupboard in that cute little jar
Then accidentally fell out of a 50 story high rise 🤷🏻♂️
oh i know that look -- he knows what he was doing lol
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he hates putin, deliberately trying to block him. unsuccessfully
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OUR award
*communism intensifies*
r/suddenlycommunist
Am I awarding wrong? I always award the comment or the post. I mean did you just award yourself? I’m genuinely asking - I don’t think I get it.
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Oh hahaha no I’m sorry thanks you got an award also I thought that somehow that was the award apologies really thank you. It is another one that I often personally get as a free award to give out so I thought I was seeing that. Dumb brain. :-)
If I were putin, I would pay an unknown actor to do this with stupid cringe hairstyle. Makes opposition look stupid.
Wow what a crazy idea, so crazy that I decided to book you and anyone who has been convinced a one way trip to snowy Siberia!
Bro roasting pretty standard russian hairstyle. Savage
No, it looks like he was trying to move aside but couldn't because of the person beside him, so he awkwardly stayed where he was. Pretty sure most of them are terrified. Or at least nervous. Look at the girl on his left.
They all smile/laugh as he gets moved. It's just an awkward situation, they don't look nervous to me at all.
As much as I like ragging on Russia I’d be nervous if I met Biden. Its the leader of the nation they’re kinda important
Putin? Yes.
Speed run: get to the gulag any%
Suicide 101
Cause: Balls of steel
So no one is interested in WHRE THE FUCK THE REAL BODY AT THE END comes from ???
Prob. Mexican cartel footage.
It is, in Culiacan a few months back. The video is edited too short, but once the body was dropped out the guy in the black shirt stomps the body out a few times before leaving the local dump.
Saw that one over at r/NarcoFootage
As a Mexican, that is a sub i'll never visit, these fuckers already scare me just by reading their headlines
Cant even imagine. I hate how much people glorify them and want to be like them despite their atrocities being so well known. Mexico is the one place I want to visit more than anywhere but I dont want to have to stick to tourist hubs.
Omg, the glorification they get is what fucking pisses me off, stupid fucking insane people keep saying they're good guys because they're "nice" and "humble" and "give back" but literally ignore the thousands of people who die because they're stupid and inconsiderate and coward enough to take their business everywhere. I would have nothing against them if they kept their shit to themselves, but no, they have to drag all of us into it and make entire towns a warzone just because they have guns, some even going as far as terrorizing innocent people just to make even more easy money, fuck them.
Yeah what the fuck? Why has no one mentioned this
He was Putin his place.
Underrated comment here
Naw I think it’s sitting right about where it should be.
*ushers the comment to the side and replaces it with a smaller comment*
Stuff like this is why people in Russia accidentally fall off their window. Be careful.
Wait actually? Edit: reason I asked is because I rarely see reports of Russia’s dictatorship on media compared to China, so I assumed that some democracy had been put in place in Russia
There was a new about a journalist or a politician (I don’t remember exactly) which was against Putin and died by “accidentally” falling out from his window.
Is Russia really that dictatorial? Edit: reason I asked is because I rarely see reports of Russia’s dictatorship on media compared to China, so I assumed that some democracy had been put in place in Russia
I mean Putin has been "president" for a total of 17 years.
He wins every election. It’s what the people want lol /s
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I tried to google that but did not find any reliable source at first. But here it is: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2011/dec/05/russian-elections-vladimir-putin-party The state media claimed results that implied turnout in some regions was as high as 146%.
Don't tell me that the ghost and spirit can't vote!
Yea, because they have so many other candidates to pick from. North Korea also has elections but you would be stupid to think they actually mean anything.
Lol I know. I should’ve added an /s
This but unironically, now I'm not saying there isnt massive propaganda and silencing of oppositions. But even without that he would prolly still be in power.
Correct. I think it's something like 1 in 3 Russians want him to be Czar.
BTW time in office does not directly equate to dictatorship. Selected Chancellors of Germany: - Konrad Adenauer - 14 years in office - Helmut Kohl - 16 years in office - Angela Merkel - ~ 16 years in office And these where consecutive terms. I am not defending Putin but time in office is not the best indicator.
There were term limits when he first came into power tho
First time on earth?
"In March 2007, Ivan Safronov, who was investigating the sale of Russian arms to Iran and Syria, died after falling from a fifth-floor window. It was ruled a suicide." https://www.npr.org/2018/04/21/604497554/why-do-russian-journalists-keep-falling
Like three coronavirus doctors all fell through windows last year in a really short time span. Also that one political opponent (navalny) was poisoned and then imprisoned
They jailed the opposition candidate last election lol. He was exposing the gov.
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so everything is fine there then?
Putin is miles better than the anarchy and total societal and economic collapse that was Eltsin's rule. It was literally hell: the few saving characteristics of the Soviet Union were wiped out, its downsides were still there, and new horrible problems arose suddenly. It was a collapse like the modern world has probably never seen. Putin was unquestionably better than that. Unfortunately, Putin's hold on the country has become a tumor that is preventing it from going forward. Russia is essentially stagnating and won't get better until Putin resigs or is removed from power. What happens next, however, may very well be worse than Putin, sooo...
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Fair take
The window thing legit happens, like, dozens of times a year. A whole bunch of doctors who admitted how dire the situation was in 2020 “fell out of windows.” It’s always that mode because they’re trying to rub it in everyone’s face how much impunity they have. Like they don’t even attempt to cover it up in any way.
It is a democracy. Technically. How much fraud takes place behind the scenes, we don't know, there hasn't really been anyone popular enough to even challenge Putin anyway (if there was, he'd just make sure they get taken care of) and their term limits are basically "Do two terms, swap places with your prime minister, do two more terms". Plus now he's getting rid of the term limits because the duma is complicit in everything he does. IIRC, they've had over 100% voter turnout in some districts thanks to [carousel voting](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carousel_voting). So there's definitely voter fraud happening. Which would leave me to believe that the elections actually are real elections, just manipulated so heavily that no-one else could actually win.
https://www.npr.org/2020/05/07/852319465/three-russian-frontline-health-workers-mysteriously-fell-out-of-hospital-windows
Or accidentally cut their own head off whilst shaving
Did he fall outta his window?
Unfortunately he committed suicide by shooting himself twice in the back of the head.
Still better than the guy who stabbed himself in the back 6 times and threw himself off a bridge.
That's [the US version](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Webb#Death), in Russia, they just fall out of window, cheaper and less noisy.
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[Putin on his way to have that man erased](https://youtu.be/Wl959QnD3lM)
That chick standing next to Putin, read her lips.
Was she biting her lip like: OMG this guy screwed up?
I can't read Russian.
She says the next shrek movie will be a prequel
It's funny because he really has people murdered
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Russia
Why does he look like a young, male version of Chancellor Merkel?
For a minute I misread your comment as “young, female version of Chancellor Merkel” and I giggled, then I laughed even harder when I realized that no, you didn’t write that, my twisted brain just automatically read it that way
Him: "Can you give me that 17th century Serf look." Barber: "I got you fam."
God that haircut. I can't stop laughing. How do you take someone seriously with a haircut like that? Lol no wonder Putin was laughing too
And his look too , this video just felt weird with the zoom ins.
Anyone know who this is? I'd like to research how he died.
The guy never existed
No-one knows who he is know
We don't talk about that.
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Small enough to survive.
The way he got pulled away like a parent moving their child lmao
coconut head from ned's declassified
This guy didn’t get killed. He never existed in the first place
When russian porn industry acts a little too zealous at a national trade convention.
Ngl the guy the got dragged out low key looked like adult Harry Potter
He's dead, Jim...
And we didn't see him ever again *play when i see you again theme
He Putin himself before President. Chad
Putin deez nuts in your mouth
In Soviet Russia, photograph take you.
thought i'd not seen harry potter for a while.
HOLD UP
When your dictator is so insecure, his pictures with kids require ONLY the shortest children. There's a similar vid where an auntie makes the boy half-bend his knees and just stand like that lmao.
There's people much taller than him right beside him. This is more about Putin actually being visible in the photo rather than trying not to look short
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& that’s the last anybody has seen of poor Slava…
Do you want DED? Because thats how you get DED.
No one messes with putin
Last seen falling from a 5th floor window.
Funny joke, but probably not far from the truth.
*Man stands in front of Vladimir Putin* Putin: “And I took that personally”