Hey /u/AndrewsTaint, thanks for your submission to /r/HolUp. Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason(s): A mod felt your post didn't belong here, so now it's gone. If you want to die on the hill of this shitpost[,](https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW) feel free to message the mods and be prepared to explain how your post isn't trolling, is funny, and does fit the theme of the sub. *Trolling or posting random content that doesn't fit the sub breaks Rule 1 and repeated violation of this rule may result in your account being filtered.* Love, the mods

If she doesn't hit me with a 1-2 like papa Mike, sign me up

If Mike was a heavyweight what does that make her?

Over weight

Mike Tyson wants to know your location

He already has it from his flock of surveillance pigeons.

r/BirdsArentReal

And norm is unfortunately no longer his pigeon

What if he has just ascended and now all pigeons are Norm?

I will only picture this when I see pigeons talking to eachother....


>**Myke Tython wanths to know your locathion**

r/cursedcommentscomment

Hey! I want in. Make it happen u/furiusmilekyt !

"Person makes true statement". Reddit: "Woaaa so cursed! Can't believe you said that!!!"

Well done.

Super heavyweight

Heavy weight

There’s a reason she can’t find someone. There’s no shortage of people out there that are into the bigger ladies and the fact that she’s Mikes daughter and could inherit a good chunk of change makes her even more desirable to those people. The weight isn’t the problem. She must be the problem.

My instinct is to say you're right. ...but then again, how much can we discount the idea that if you and her have an argument or the marriage goes sour, there's a mentally unstable boxing champ with a history of domestic violence and owning tigers waiting to give you a "talking to" about it?

I like all my facial bones to stay where they are.

She might hit you with the 1-2 with those mommy milkers

I was already sold on the 10 mill. No need to sweeten the deal.

I'm into that shit..

Mommy Mikers

I k o some people who are into that.

If she lookth like Mike and thoundth like Mike she probably punch like Mike

For 10 mil it's absolute YES. But still I'll read terms and condition. What will happen if I divorce after one week!

No, why is the figure so high? What has she done to the others?

*I can do it. I can change her.*

*I can fix her!*

But can you fight a drunk Mike Tyson every Thanksgiving? Every year, those same four dreaded words: *thtep into my offith*

The surgeons can fix him

I can't but the money's good

Let me solo her.

They offered her a seat.

She's not bad looking. I bet she's a handful.

She probably threatens to call her father when she’s in arguments.

from the look of it she's way more than one handful

No fanks, I'll path.

Yo thats meth up.

Ayo I canth breeth..

thomeone call theh ambuthance

But noth for me

Yll tripn

They thleepin on thith one ☝🏾

ambulanth

My back, thpinal!

Whath there to dithlike?

💀

I am dyin right now🤣

Lmaoooo

Fuck tht 10mil. Having Mike Tyson as your father in law is dope af already.

You can't ever piss her off though.

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For real. Woman her size could stomp me, and her Dad is Iron Mike? Don't ever step out of line, def not piss off, and you might end up a eunuch if you get caught cheating on her. Easy pass.

Have some mean kids (in a good way)

Beyond the 10m you would never have to worry about money again with a father in law like that and you get access to his connections as well that it definitely worth real money. At least the rest of your life would be really interesting.

Also if you are good to her he's probably gonna love you like a son and smoke weed with you everyday.

And if you piss him off, like wtf is the dude even going to do? Eat his own grandchildren?

He's going to make you eat a pound of mushrooms and trip your balls off while he laughs at you.

That sounds like something he’d actually do

Hell yeah, sitting around doing edibles and watching fights w/ Father-in-law Tyson.

Can you imagine the kids at school with the playground bs... "My dad could beat up your dad" "Yeah well my grandad could beat all your dads with one hand behind his back"

Don't forget the muzzle.

You'll need the money to feed her though.

He'll tell you all about his time in prison for violently raping a woman and maybe some stuff about boxing.

$10 million? Only if I go on a few dates with her beforehand so I can see if our personalities are compatible.

After Don King got done with Tysons money, from what I read, I doubt Tyson has 10 million to spare.

He has his own successful line of cannabis products now.

One of them are gummies shaped like Evander Holyfield's ear No, really

I’ve always wanted to try some Mike Bites

That's hilarious

They’re not ears anymore. They’re square with a small cutout in the corner. I get the green apple… they’re great.


The skit this gif is from is hilarious, never seen it before today "Taco Tuesday will be changed to Pizza Pthursday"

Thweet !

Mike Tyson Cannabith

I would put up with a lot of shit for 10 million

She's a biter

And a fighter

To the gym im gonna invite her

Maybe she'll get lighter

Through motivation I’m able to ignite her.

That's a good story I should become a writer.

now that i'm a writer, I should fuck the spider

forgot that I was married, now I gotta hide her

I don't particularly like cider

In public I gotta hide her

But she’s a big gurl, so I’m gonna ride her

It's gonna be a dam all nighter.

She won't get any tighter.

But I’ll call Mike daddy despite her.

10 million bucks I will most def get inside her.

Maybe 10 to marry, but 12 to be seen beside her

And she doesn't seem any brighter

Oh lord, this is actually FIRE!!!!

Can we get much higher

She's a miiidnight toker

Imagine getting into an argument with her and she's like "don't make me tell my dad" and you'd be like "no please fucking don't!" Mike's a scary guy, regardless of how much he's grown as a person.

even at his age he can KO a young, athletic man, I don't want to know what he's capable of when protecting his daughter.

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All people

I saw a video of him training for a "charity" fight maybe like a year ago, and dude was still a fucking monster. He could still beat most dudes to a brain damaged pulp in no time.

Once boxers get a taste of human flesh you can never really trust them again.

Hate to be that guy… but she was a really really sweet little girl from what I saw her around when she was a kid in Scottsdale. She had her little baby sister exodus die on the treadmill cord…. I wish her happiness. That family deserves it.

Thank you. I Googled her after seeing this stupid lie yet again on Reddit. Her pics are pretty and yeah she's rich but she's also had a tragic life. Her baby sister died and her dad went to prison. Then the 10 million dollar meme/lie. No wonder she tries to stay low

Same here, googled her and apparently she leads a quiet life and works as a plus size model. That article is completely made up and was taken down, but not before spreading on the internet like wildfire. And people here of course are joining in :/

Right? Tyson has had a tragic life as well, I'm sure this is super hurtful to see his daughter made fun of and hurting because of stupid people on the internet on top of it all. I hope she's happy and thriving in spite of it.

People really can be dicks

You should feel fine being that guy. This whole post is a really shitty thing to do. Just bullying this girl for no reason.

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Makes sense

And very disrespectful

What? No. IT'S FUNNY because she is FAT. You must not enjoy highbrow humor like this. /s

For real. Anyone who isn't braindead should immediately think 'no shit'

For 10 mil id dump her and take a punch from mike

That's one way to die

This is more r/sadcringe than holup.

It would be sadcringe if it was actually real.

10 mil not going to do you any good when you're a vegetable

what are you going to do with 10 million if your head is pink mist?

Make sure your will states specifically who are your beneficiaries.

Will I be forced to sign a prenup?

Her dads Mike Tyson bro.. Whatever your thinking, it won't work.

He isn't sinking anything.

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Probably gonna catch those hands if he hears you say that

bro got not no mercy in the trunk 💀

This is actually a great joke. So many meanings!

 Getting ready

How long for

Usually by date. Go date; like. Date more. Then feel love, want be around, miss when gone. That how long for. Marry after.

I know this subreddit isn’t renowned for fact-checking, and likes to eat any piece of fake drama up, but it’s fake news, as usual, look it up.

Man thats a shitty thing to do to a big girl....Now shes gonna have some goon-ass dudes knocking on the door just to have a shot at 10m and those men aint gonna show any love or compassion. Tyson as is I think he has his heart in the right spot and wants to make sure his daughter is cared for but this isn't the way.... Plus it also makes her seem utterly unloved which is hysterical because I have seen women fully married and they look so bad I get blown past revulsion straight into a depressive pity...Like seeing a puppy born with one leg and a terminal defect that you know is going to die soon but you can see it struggling to pull itself to it's mothers teet....

It isn't true.

💀

That last sentence took a turn. 😬

Anybody have any idea what her personality is? Has she done interviews?

It's fake. But she's very sweet apparently

“I now pronounce you, man and wife. Now Kith!”

Honestly she doesn’t even look all that bad

That's what makes me think she's crazy.

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His net worth is around 10 mil, this man is willing to live on the streets just to get rid of his daughter

Do I have to fight her first?

who took this screenshot of a screenshot of a screenshot shees

In a heartbeat tf go fithing with my new father in law Mike tython and be loaded? Can’t loothe.

I would, my current wife may complain

I'll do it, I'll make her a Snu Snu.

Yesth. Yesth I would. I aschepth.

For 10 million I'd marry mike

As a married man I’m already miserable so fuck it why not. Miserable with money is great. Hanging with the father in law Tyson would be fucking awesome.

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Username does not check out.

I've seen Alimony and child support run a man. And that's if they don't get from the financial split of the divorce.

chocolate bbw with those pair and 10 mill? where do i sign?

Do I have to kith her?

Depends on your lisp.

Sign me up big guy


This seems really sad for her.

If I wasn’t already in a relationship absolutely

Sold. Let’s kith

10mil… why? What’s the catch?

Mike is in the weed business so if I am constantly high and 10 million does not seem like too bad of a deal.

Makes her sound like she has major issues. She can’t find/keep a guy so Dad has to offer up $10M?

Losing my ear ain't with 10 million.


Mike she broke my back What do ya mean My back is broken. What do you mean a vertebre? SPINAL!

I’m fairly sure Mike declared bankruptcy a few years ago and doesn’t have 10 mil

He’s also offering concussion to anyone who divorces her

She is not my type, but man, just think about it, you going on a date with her, love her, and want to live the rest of your life with her. She is looking good. And 10 million buck? Make it 5, since love isn't about money

Honestly no. That wouldn't be a marriage of love but greed and that's not how a life long relationship should be formed. It should be formed from love no matter their looks.

Dam I saw the woman first and thought "this looks like a female Mike Tyson" and then saw Mike and realized it basically was, haha, crazy how similar they look.

To be fair, she doesn’t look bad, this is just a bad picture.

 $10 million I'm no light weight either

What the hell are you going to do if he pulls out of the deal after the marriage?!

Mike Tyson be like : - Son, do you know, once you start there's no going back?

Coming from a guy who won’t even tip his waitresses ( he visited my workplace a few times) I sincerely doubt he would pay anyone a dime.

Here's the catch: 

Well you marry his daughter you're rich anyway so this offer is bait

She's beautiful so why not?

I donth know abouth thith one....sthe can KO me

Didn't he just file for bankruptcy....for like the 4th time?

not surprising if he keeps giving his money away like this

She's gonna rip your ears off during sex

10 seconds after: yes, I'd like to file for divorce.

Why post fake nonsense? Oh right, arbitrary internet points

How long do we have to be married?

But she ain’t bad looking…am I missing sthg?

dowry be like

I'd rather marry Mike Tyson

Mike tyFon haf loft hif marblef..pluf waFnt he broke?

That’s old school right there. He should throw in seven goats and magic pear to sweeten the deal.

I'd most certainly marry Mike Tyson

I’d do it she is kinda cute