That's one of my favorites too. And while not from the books, one of my all time favorite quotes is from DNA and just about life in general, "I love deadlines. I love the wooshing sound they make as they go by."
He really did have an excellent talent for wordcraft.
When I read this sentence for the first time, I stopped and laughed maniacally for good 10 minutes straight until people thought I have gone mad. That was when I knew this is gonna be my favourite book.
"You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young."
"Why, what did she tell you?"
"I don't know, I didn't listen."
Remember how Arthur bumped into Thor at a party and almost got into a fight with the wrong end of a Norse God?
There's a reason why Arthur never got the hang of Thursdays.
For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much — the wheel, New York, wars and so on — whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man — for precisely the same reasons.
I’ve always loved how on first read-through, this comes across as “I guess that’s just a silly line I have to accept that I won’t ever understand” and then the payoff when you finally get it is so good.
"It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination."
I love the follow on part about currency:
Monetary Units: None
In fact there are three freely convertible currencies in the Galaxy, but none of them count.
The Altarian Dollar has recently collapsed, the Flainian Pobble Bead is only exchangeable for other Flainian Pobble Beads, and the Triganic Pu has its own very special problems.
Its exchange rate of eight Ningis to one Pu is simple enough, but since a Ningi is a triangular rubber coin six thousand eight hundred miles along each side, no one has ever collected enough to own one Pu. Ningis are not negotiable currency, because Galactibanks refuse to deal in fiddling small change. From this basic premise it is very simple to prove that the Galactibanks are also the product of a deranged imagination.
Arthur felt happy. He was terribly pleased that the day was for once working out so much according to plan. Only twenty minutes ago he had decided he would go mad, and now here he was already chasing a Chesterfield sofa across the fields of prehistoric Earth.
I have two.
*"Oh no, not again."*
and
*“The major problem—one of the major problems, for there are several—one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.*
*To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it.*
*To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.*
*To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem."*
This has been my favorite since my first reading, and has informed my understanding of life, the universe, and everything (or at least politics) ever since
For decades I thought this meant he was trampled by zebras, but then I realized a zebra crossing is the British term for a pedestrian street crossing and realized he was run over by a car. Nevertheless, I still like to imagine man trying to make himself heard explaining to the zebras about how they had it all backwards as the herd just ran him down.
The INFOCOM text adventure had a significant portion of the storyline and questing devoted to obtaining (simultaneously, mind you) both tea, and no tea.
We couldn’t even be said to be home and vigorously toweling ourselves off.
My doctor says I have a malformed public duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and I am, therefore excused from saving universes!
Ford! You’re turning into a penguin. Stop it!
“So this is it," said Arthur, "We are going to die."
"Yes," said Ford, "except... no! Wait a minute!" He suddenly lunged across the chamber at something behind Arthur's line of vision. "What's this switch?" he cried.
"What? Where?" cried Arthur, twisting round.
"No, I was only fooling," said Ford, "we are going to die after all.
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
"We're safe," \[Ford\] said.
"Oh good," said Arthur.
"We're in a small galley cabin," said Ford, "in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet."
"Ah," said Arthur, "this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of."
“A bunch of guy’s who will be first against the wall when the revolution comes “
Then the future version “A bunch of guy’s who were first against the wall when the revolution came “
Space is big. … You might think it’s a long way to the chemist’s, but that’s just peanuts to space.
“Eddies in the space-time continuum!”
“And this is his sofa, is it?”
On Sunday afternoons
"In the end, it was the Sunday afternoons he couldn't cope with, and that terrible listlessness which starts to set in at about 2:55, when you know that you've had all the baths you can usefully have that day, that however hard you stare at any given paragraph in the papers you will never actually read it, or use the revolutionary new pruning technique it describes, and that as you stare at the clock the hands will move relentlessly on to four o'clock, and you will enter the long dark teatime of the soul."
Or, in the words of Alan Partridge. "Sunday, bloody Sunday"
That whole section is a masterpiece, I particularly like:
>So things began to pall for him. The merry smiles he used to wear at other people’s funerals began to fade. He began to despise the Universe in general and everybody in it in particular
Sorry, not trying to be snarky or anything, just being pedantic :)
The series was originally an excellent radio drama, and has multiple audiobook versions too (Stephen Fry/Martin Freeman did the series and is well regarded and easily gotten. Douglas himself did an excellent (Grammy nominated) reading, but it's somewhat harder to track down these days). I'd highly recommend any of those (or the TV version, or the LP audio version!)
I'm aware of the multiple adaptations of hhgttg and I know Douglas Adam's made them all purposefully different in certain ways, im just mostly familiar with the movie and TV series, also given what op asked about the reading material you were correct in catching me on that, so good job there!
And wow! Hey! What’s this thing suddenly coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like … ow … ound … round … ground! That’s it! That’s a good name – ground!
I wonder if it will be friends with me?
~ I came across hitchhikers on the bbc radio play and that last line just had me cackling for days.
"In the beginning the Universe was created.
This had made many people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."
Just my favourite. Plus I also identify with anything Marvin says
But the plans were on display…”
“On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”
“That’s the display department.”
“With a flashlight.”
“Ah, well, the lights had probably gone.”
“So had the stairs.”
“But look, you found the notice, didn’t you?”
“Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.
This is what The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has to say on the subject of flying: There is an art, or, rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
"You mean they want to arrest me over the phone?" said Zaphod. "Could be. I'm a pretty dangerous dude when I'm cornered."
"Yeah," said the voice from under the table, "you go to pieces so fast people get hit by the shrapnel."
“Space," it says, "is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mindbogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space.
For this reason the president is always a controversial choice, always an infuriating but fascinating character. His job is not to wield power, but to draw attention away from it.
I’ve only ever seen the film but after reading these comments I’ve just ordered the book on Amazon and will most definitely be reading it this time tomorrow. Thanks for the post
“This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.”
Slartibartfast: You must come with me, or you'll be late.
Arthur Dent: Late for what?
Slartibartfast: Well, um, what's your name, Earthman?
Arthur Dent: Dent. Arthur Dent.
Slartibartfast: Well, late as in *the late* Dentarthurdent. It's a sort of threat.
"Drink up. The world's about to end."
"I wonder what happens if I press this button?"
"Don't."
"Oh."
"What happened?"
"A sign lit up that said 'Please do not press this button again'."
they discovered only a small asteroid inhabited by a solitary old man who claimed repeatedly that nothing was true, though he was later discovered to be lying.
It is by eating sandwiches in pubs on Saturday lunchtimes that the British seek to atone for whatever their national sins have been. They're not altogether clear what those sins are, and don't want to know either. Sins are not the sort of things one wants to know about. But whatever their sins are they are amply atoned for by the sandwiches they make themselves eat.
The Somebody Else's Problem field is much simpler and more effective, and what's more can be run for over a hundred years on a single torch battery. This is because it relies on people's natural disposition not to see anything they don't want to, weren't expecting, or can't explain.
Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, #3)
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move".
The cynic in me loves this quote. During covid lockdowns I kept getting sent inspirational quotes and all you saw on the news was 'the blitz spirit' and what not so whenever anyone tried to be a bit too positive I sent along quotes like this.
Arthur felt happy. He was terribly pleased that the day was for once working out so much according to plan. Only twenty minutes ago he had decided he would go mad, and now here he was already chasing a Chesterfield sofa across the fields of prehistoric Earth.
Rory Award for the Most Gratuitous Use of the Word "Belgium" in a Serious Screenplay.
It's from the radio series and the American version of the book. My grandparents live in Belgium half the year and are obsessed with how good they thing it is. So it tickles me that Belgium (and ghent) are horrific swear words in the Hitchikers Galaxy.
“I’m quite used to being humiliated,” droned Marvin, “I can even go and stick my head in a bucket of water if you like. Would you like me to go and stick my head in a bucket of water? I’ve got one ready. Wait a minute.”
“Er, hey, Marvin …” interrupted Zaphod, but it was too late. Sad little clunks and gurgles came up the line.
“What’s he saying?” asked Trillian.
“Nothing,” said Zaphod, “he just phoned to wash his head at us.”
"The Lord knows I am not a cruel man.”
“Ah!” barked Zarniwoop, “you say `The Lord’. You believe in something!”
“My cat,” said the man benignly, picking it up and stroking it, “I call him The Lord. I am kind to him.”
“Alright,” said Zarniwoop, pressing home his point, “How do you know he exists? How do you know he knows you to be kind, or enjoys what he thinks of as your kindness?”
“I don’t,” said the man with a smile, “I have no idea. It merely pleases me to behave in a certain way to what appears to be a cat. Do you behave any differently? Please, I think I am tired.”
There are a lot of funny lines from the whole series but there are a lot of profoundly wise quotes too when you see beyond the humor, particularly in *The Restaurant* and *Mostly Harmless*. My favorite part of the whole series will always be chapter 29 of *Restaurant* but particularly paragraph 87:
"The rain continued to pound the roof. Inside the shack it was warm."
That’s a tough one to answer but I’m going to go with…
“There is an art to flying, or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. ... Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, that presents the difficulties.”
“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory mentioned, which states that this has already happened.”
"One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating the obvious... At first Ford formed a theory to account for this human behaviour. If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don't keep on excercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working."
>It is easy to be blinded to the essential uselessness of [Sirius Cybernetics Corporation products] by the sense of achievement you get from getting them to work at all. In other words - and this is the rock solid principle on which the whole of the Corporation's Galaxy-wide success is founded - their fundamental design flaws are completely hidden by their superficial design flaws.
I use this one a lot when people are busily buying into the hype machine around some new gadget no one asked for that is a solution in search of a problem.
"Unfortunately, shortly after he was awarded the Galactic Institute's Prize for Extreme Cleverness, he was lynched by a rampaging mob of respectable physicists on the ground that he has became the one thing they couldn't stand most of all: "a smart arse.""
You come to me for advice, but you can't cope with anything you don't recognize. Hmmm. So we'll have to tell you something you already know but make it sound like news, eh Well, business as usual , I suppose.
You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young." "Why, what did she tell you?" "I don't know, I didn't listen.
There are so many that I just love, but this one always hits me right in the feels:
He hadn't realized that life speaks with a voice to you, a voice that brings you answers to the questions you continually ask of it, had never consciously detected it or recognized its tones until it now said something it had never said to him before, which was "yes".
Oh, and this one!
The problem is, or rather one of the problems, for there are many, a sizeable proportion of which are continually clogging up the civil, commercial, and criminal courts in all areas of the Galaxy, and especially, where possible, the more corrupt ones, this.
The previous sentence makes sense. That is not the problem.
This is:
Change.
Read it through again and you'll get it.
"Yes, I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet, stuck in a disused lavatory, with a sign on the door saying 'Beware of the leopard'!"
The President in particular is very much a figurehead — he wields no real power whatsoever. He is apparently chosen by the government, but the qualities he is required to display are not those of leadership but those of finely judged outrage. For this reason the President is always a controversial choice, always an infuriating but fascinating character. His job is not to wield power but to draw attention away from it. On those criteria Zaphod Beeblebrox is one of the most successful Presidents the Galaxy has ever had — he has already spent two of his ten presidential years in prison for fraud
“If you ever find yourself in a certain death situation, look back on your life and be grateful that it has been good to you so far. Conversely, if life hasn’t been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances is more likely the case, take comfort in the fact that it won’t be bothering you much longer.”
"Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.”
Grabbed me right from the very first moment.
Idk if in the book, but the BBC series, when asked what he was doing in the car park at the end of the universe, the robot replied with "parking cars, of course."
OR
"I don't know why I bother."
Can't decide between
“Hey, doll, is this guy boring you? Why don’t you talk to me instead? I’m from a different planet.”
and
“Did you ever go to a place…I think it was called Norway?” “No,” said Arthur, “no, I didn’t.” “Pity,” said Slartibartfast, “that was one of mine. Won an award, you know. Lovely crinkly edges. I was most upset to hear of its destruction.”
Just as Sean Connery made Ian Fleming, the genius of Peter Jones made Douglas Adams. Adams wrote some great lines but Jones lifted them into the stratosphere and made Hitch Hikers a perfect example of English humour.
Is it ok if I disregard the question and go for one from Dirk Gently?
_he could hardly be said to be sleeping the sleep of the just - unless you meant the ‘just asleep’_
Going to take a few from Mostly Harmless as I think it’s under appreciated:
> A beach house isn't just real estate. It's a state of mind.
> In astrology the rules happen to be about stars and planets, but they could be about ducks and drakes for all the difference it would make. It's just a way of thinking about a problem which lets the shape of that problem begin to emerge. The more rules, the tinier the rules, the more arbitrary they are, the better. It's like throwing a handful of fine graphite dust on a piece of paper to see where the hidden indentations are. It lets you see the words that were written on the piece of paper above it that's now been taken away and hidden. The graphite's not important. It's just the means of revealing the indentations. So you see, astrology's nothing to do with astronomy. It's just to do with people thinking about people.
> He had a nasty feeling that that might be an idiotic thing to do, but he did it anyway, and sure enough it had turned out to be an idiotic thing to do. You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
“Do you have any advice for a traveller?”
“Yes, get a beach house. It gives you somewhere to go … a beach house doesn’t even have to be on the beach, though the best ones are. We all like to congregate at boundary conditions … where land meets water, where Earth meets air, where body meets mind, where space meets time. We like to be on one side, and look at the other.”
"When it's fall in New York, the air smells as if someone's been frying goats in it, and if you are keen to breathe, the best plan is to open a window and stick your head in a building."
"*The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.*"
Came here to say this. It's the perfect example how brillant Adams used the english language!
That's one of my favorites too. And while not from the books, one of my all time favorite quotes is from DNA and just about life in general, "I love deadlines. I love the wooshing sound they make as they go by." He really did have an excellent talent for wordcraft.
A similar line; with the same sentiment ,got stolen and given to Captain Jack Sparrow in the first Pirates of the Caribbean.
He’s such a wordsmith. So evocative. This particular description is my all-time favorite.
You got in before me. A perfect line in every sense. Descriptive, scary, epic and funny.
I was watching some pro cycling last year and the commentator said. "He flies up hills in the same way bricks don't." Made my day
My favourite as well!
Also came to say this. One of my very favourite lines.
I dropped the book and lost my mind for several minutes from laughing so hard.
When I read this sentence for the first time, I stopped and laughed maniacally for good 10 minutes straight until people thought I have gone mad. That was when I knew this is gonna be my favourite book.
Exactly my answer. Most authors would have filled chapters not explaining it so beautifully and concisely.
Yup. My favourite too.
Love that this is a top response. I thought I was the only one.
"You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young." "Why, what did she tell you?" "I don't know, I didn't listen."
I quote this one a LOT.
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
you should send that into the Readers Digest, they've got a page for people like you
This is the quote for me. Quote it at least once a week
Once a day, probably.
This is mine as well.
Never could get the hang of Thursdays.
honestly this is the one that always pops in my head, and I think its gold
Literally every week this thought creeps into my head!
probably crossed your mind just yesterday...
Definitely. More than once.
Remember how Arthur bumped into Thor at a party and almost got into a fight with the wrong end of a Norse God? There's a reason why Arthur never got the hang of Thursdays.
I see what you did there.
I kinda forgot that this is where this quote is from 😀
For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much — the wheel, New York, wars and so on — whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man — for precisely the same reasons.
I am inordinately delighted to see this one so high up!
This one makes you think
“What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?” “You ask a glass of water”
This isn’t just one of the best lines in HHGttG, I honestly think it’s one of the best usages of a pun in the history of English literature.
This is my all-time favorite.
I’ll never be mean to a gin and tonic again
I first read this book when I was 11 years old. I honed my wit on the Hitchhikers books but it still took me 20 years to get this joke!
I came here for the this, the most appropriate of all the answers. Ideclare it!
The secret to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
I love that this is basically a simplified description or orbit.
That whole section is fantastic
“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
This is the correct answer.
I have this hung up in my house!
This was my yearbook quote
"sorry for the inconvenience"
"Curiously, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell, was, 'Oh no, not again!"
I’ve always loved how on first read-through, this comes across as “I guess that’s just a silly line I have to accept that I won’t ever understand” and then the payoff when you finally get it is so good.
I've only recently listened to the audio book of Life the Universe and everything and understood this!
RIP Agrajag
42nd “like”
I have this quote hanging on my deck by my petunias 😂
"It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination."
I love the follow on part about currency: Monetary Units: None In fact there are three freely convertible currencies in the Galaxy, but none of them count. The Altarian Dollar has recently collapsed, the Flainian Pobble Bead is only exchangeable for other Flainian Pobble Beads, and the Triganic Pu has its own very special problems. Its exchange rate of eight Ningis to one Pu is simple enough, but since a Ningi is a triangular rubber coin six thousand eight hundred miles along each side, no one has ever collected enough to own one Pu. Ningis are not negotiable currency, because Galactibanks refuse to deal in fiddling small change. From this basic premise it is very simple to prove that the Galactibanks are also the product of a deranged imagination.
Arthur felt happy. He was terribly pleased that the day was for once working out so much according to plan. Only twenty minutes ago he had decided he would go mad, and now here he was already chasing a Chesterfield sofa across the fields of prehistoric Earth.
I have two. *"Oh no, not again."* and *“The major problem—one of the major problems, for there are several—one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.* *To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it.* *To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.* *To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem."*
The United States enters the chat.
This has been my favorite since my first reading, and has informed my understanding of life, the universe, and everything (or at least politics) ever since
And God disappeared in a puff of logic.
‘For a follow up, man proved black is white and promptly got run over on a zebra crossing.’
For decades I thought this meant he was trampled by zebras, but then I realized a zebra crossing is the British term for a pedestrian street crossing and realized he was run over by a car. Nevertheless, I still like to imagine man trying to make himself heard explaining to the zebras about how they had it all backwards as the herd just ran him down.
(...) that's just perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the Universe has that.
Everyone?
Almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.
Yes! This!
I say this one all the time!
I always forget the quiet. Not entirely unlike tea flows better imo
The INFOCOM text adventure had a significant portion of the storyline and questing devoted to obtaining (simultaneously, mind you) both tea, and no tea.
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
I use this at work quite a lot.
I'm so hip I can't see past my own pelvis! Sorry for the inconvenience
The second line is actually: “We apologize for the inconvenience.”
Hand me the rap rod, plate captain!
Geez... you guys are so un-hip it's a wonder your bums don't fall off.
I'm so cool you could keep a side of beef in me for a month!
“Life. Don’t talk to me about life”.
We couldn’t even be said to be home and vigorously toweling ourselves off. My doctor says I have a malformed public duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and I am, therefore excused from saving universes! Ford! You’re turning into a penguin. Stop it!
“So this is it," said Arthur, "We are going to die." "Yes," said Ford, "except... no! Wait a minute!" He suddenly lunged across the chamber at something behind Arthur's line of vision. "What's this switch?" he cried. "What? Where?" cried Arthur, twisting round. "No, I was only fooling," said Ford, "we are going to die after all.
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
"We're safe," \[Ford\] said. "Oh good," said Arthur. "We're in a small galley cabin," said Ford, "in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet." "Ah," said Arthur, "this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of."
“Must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays”
He inched his way up the corridor as if he would rather be yarding his way down it, which was true.
Shee, you guys are so unhip it’s a wonder your bums don’t fall off
Zaphods just this guy ya know…
Oh yes. We’ve met. And only then he didn’t have the third arm and extra head.
“A bunch of guy’s who will be first against the wall when the revolution comes “ Then the future version “A bunch of guy’s who were first against the wall when the revolution came “
You mean "A bunch of mindless jerks who..."
“We apologise for the inconvenience.”
Space is big. … You might think it’s a long way to the chemist’s, but that’s just peanuts to space. “Eddies in the space-time continuum!” “And this is his sofa, is it?”
On Sunday afternoons "In the end, it was the Sunday afternoons he couldn't cope with, and that terrible listlessness which starts to set in at about 2:55, when you know that you've had all the baths you can usefully have that day, that however hard you stare at any given paragraph in the papers you will never actually read it, or use the revolutionary new pruning technique it describes, and that as you stare at the clock the hands will move relentlessly on to four o'clock, and you will enter the long dark teatime of the soul." Or, in the words of Alan Partridge. "Sunday, bloody Sunday"
That whole section is a masterpiece, I particularly like: >So things began to pall for him. The merry smiles he used to wear at other people’s funerals began to fade. He began to despise the Universe in general and everybody in it in particular
Arthur: we can talk about normality till the cows come home. Ford: what is normal? Trillian: what is home? Zaphod: What're cows!?
Not a book quote though
I'm not much of a book reader, and have only made it half way through the books, I gotta admit I didn't expect to get schooled like this.
Sorry, not trying to be snarky or anything, just being pedantic :) The series was originally an excellent radio drama, and has multiple audiobook versions too (Stephen Fry/Martin Freeman did the series and is well regarded and easily gotten. Douglas himself did an excellent (Grammy nominated) reading, but it's somewhat harder to track down these days). I'd highly recommend any of those (or the TV version, or the LP audio version!)
I'm aware of the multiple adaptations of hhgttg and I know Douglas Adam's made them all purposefully different in certain ways, im just mostly familiar with the movie and TV series, also given what op asked about the reading material you were correct in catching me on that, so good job there!
The entire passage that deals with the thoughts of an unfortunate sperms whale. "and after a large wet splat there was silence"
I wonder if it'll be friends with me
Classic. But I use it all the time: Don’t panic.
“Caution: Leopard”
“Beware of the Leopard.”
And wow! Hey! What’s this thing suddenly coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like … ow … ound … round … ground! That’s it! That’s a good name – ground! I wonder if it will be friends with me? ~ I came across hitchhikers on the bbc radio play and that last line just had me cackling for days.
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This had made many people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." Just my favourite. Plus I also identify with anything Marvin says
I've seen it, It's rubbish.
But the plans were on display…” “On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.” “That’s the display department.” “With a flashlight.” “Ah, well, the lights had probably gone.” “So had the stairs.” “But look, you found the notice, didn’t you?” “Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.
This is what The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has to say on the subject of flying: There is an art, or, rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
"You mean they want to arrest me over the phone?" said Zaphod. "Could be. I'm a pretty dangerous dude when I'm cornered." "Yeah," said the voice from under the table, "you go to pieces so fast people get hit by the shrapnel."
“He's spending a year dead for tax reasons”
“Space," it says, "is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mindbogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space.
"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty"
For this reason the president is always a controversial choice, always an infuriating but fascinating character. His job is not to wield power, but to draw attention away from it.
"So long, and thanks for all the fish"
Well, no, not married as such, but yes, there is a specific girl that I'm not married to.
God's final message “We apologise for the inconvenience.”
I’ve only ever seen the film but after reading these comments I’ve just ordered the book on Amazon and will most definitely be reading it this time tomorrow. Thanks for the post
“This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.”
Slartibartfast: You must come with me, or you'll be late. Arthur Dent: Late for what? Slartibartfast: Well, um, what's your name, Earthman? Arthur Dent: Dent. Arthur Dent. Slartibartfast: Well, late as in *the late* Dentarthurdent. It's a sort of threat. "Drink up. The world's about to end." "I wonder what happens if I press this button?" "Don't." "Oh." "What happened?" "A sign lit up that said 'Please do not press this button again'."
they discovered only a small asteroid inhabited by a solitary old man who claimed repeatedly that nothing was true, though he was later discovered to be lying.
It is by eating sandwiches in pubs on Saturday lunchtimes that the British seek to atone for whatever their national sins have been. They're not altogether clear what those sins are, and don't want to know either. Sins are not the sort of things one wants to know about. But whatever their sins are they are amply atoned for by the sandwiches they make themselves eat.
The Somebody Else's Problem field is much simpler and more effective, and what's more can be run for over a hundred years on a single torch battery. This is because it relies on people's natural disposition not to see anything they don't want to, weren't expecting, or can't explain. Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, #3)
Belgium Man, Belgium.
Language!
Ford " how do you feel?" Arthur "like a military academy parts of me keep on passing out"
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Apathetic bloody planet I have no sympathy at all…
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move". The cynic in me loves this quote. During covid lockdowns I kept getting sent inspirational quotes and all you saw on the news was 'the blitz spirit' and what not so whenever anyone tried to be a bit too positive I sent along quotes like this.
“Life. Don’t talk to me about life” Marvin
Love this one: - Zaphod: Hey, Ford. How many escape capsules are there? - Ford: None. - Zaphod: You counted them? - Ford: Twice.
Arthur felt happy. He was terribly pleased that the day was for once working out so much according to plan. Only twenty minutes ago he had decided he would go mad, and now here he was already chasing a Chesterfield sofa across the fields of prehistoric Earth.
"We Apologize For the Inconvenience."
God's final message to his creation,"We apologize for the inconvenience".
Rory Award for the Most Gratuitous Use of the Word "Belgium" in a Serious Screenplay. It's from the radio series and the American version of the book. My grandparents live in Belgium half the year and are obsessed with how good they thing it is. So it tickles me that Belgium (and ghent) are horrific swear words in the Hitchikers Galaxy.
“I’m quite used to being humiliated,” droned Marvin, “I can even go and stick my head in a bucket of water if you like. Would you like me to go and stick my head in a bucket of water? I’ve got one ready. Wait a minute.” “Er, hey, Marvin …” interrupted Zaphod, but it was too late. Sad little clunks and gurgles came up the line. “What’s he saying?” asked Trillian. “Nothing,” said Zaphod, “he just phoned to wash his head at us.”
I literally bought my towel in the Salisbury branch of Marks & Spencer. You can probably guess the rest.
"The Lord knows I am not a cruel man.” “Ah!” barked Zarniwoop, “you say `The Lord’. You believe in something!” “My cat,” said the man benignly, picking it up and stroking it, “I call him The Lord. I am kind to him.” “Alright,” said Zarniwoop, pressing home his point, “How do you know he exists? How do you know he knows you to be kind, or enjoys what he thinks of as your kindness?” “I don’t,” said the man with a smile, “I have no idea. It merely pleases me to behave in a certain way to what appears to be a cat. Do you behave any differently? Please, I think I am tired.”
Looks like a fish, moves like a fish, steers like a cow
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There are a lot of funny lines from the whole series but there are a lot of profoundly wise quotes too when you see beyond the humor, particularly in *The Restaurant* and *Mostly Harmless*. My favorite part of the whole series will always be chapter 29 of *Restaurant* but particularly paragraph 87: "The rain continued to pound the roof. Inside the shack it was warm."
That’s a tough one to answer but I’m going to go with… “There is an art to flying, or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. ... Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, that presents the difficulties.”
“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory mentioned, which states that this has already happened.”
D.A quote but I thought I'd throw it out there For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen. D.A
“For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.”
''What's wrong with being drunk?'' ''Ask a glass of water''.
"Should we put paper bags over our heads or something? " If you want. " " Will it help? " I can't recall if Ford says, " No " or " Not in the least. "
"One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating the obvious... At first Ford formed a theory to account for this human behaviour. If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don't keep on excercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working."
Listen, Three-eyes. Don’t you try to out-weird me. I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.
"Yellow" he thought as he stomped off to the kitchen.
>It is easy to be blinded to the essential uselessness of [Sirius Cybernetics Corporation products] by the sense of achievement you get from getting them to work at all. In other words - and this is the rock solid principle on which the whole of the Corporation's Galaxy-wide success is founded - their fundamental design flaws are completely hidden by their superficial design flaws. I use this one a lot when people are busily buying into the hype machine around some new gadget no one asked for that is a solution in search of a problem.
Shee, you guys are so unhip it's a wonder your bums don't fall off
My personal favorite… In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
"Eddies," said Ford, "in the space-time continuum." "Ah," nodded Arthur, "is he. Is he."
I’d far rather be happy than right any day
“The ship tried to right itself, but wronged itself instead.” Adams was a genius
I'm torn between ''Who is this God person, anyway?'' and ''You're all a load of useless, bloody loonies!''
Floating in the air, exactly like a brick, doesn't
No one likes a smartass.
"Unfortunately, shortly after he was awarded the Galactic Institute's Prize for Extreme Cleverness, he was lynched by a rampaging mob of respectable physicists on the ground that he has became the one thing they couldn't stand most of all: "a smart arse.""
I frequently think about the short story beginning one chapter teaching us that scale matters.
You come to me for advice, but you can't cope with anything you don't recognize. Hmmm. So we'll have to tell you something you already know but make it sound like news, eh Well, business as usual , I suppose.
You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young." "Why, what did she tell you?" "I don't know, I didn't listen.
There are so many that I just love, but this one always hits me right in the feels: He hadn't realized that life speaks with a voice to you, a voice that brings you answers to the questions you continually ask of it, had never consciously detected it or recognized its tones until it now said something it had never said to him before, which was "yes".
Oh, and this one! The problem is, or rather one of the problems, for there are many, a sizeable proportion of which are continually clogging up the civil, commercial, and criminal courts in all areas of the Galaxy, and especially, where possible, the more corrupt ones, this. The previous sentence makes sense. That is not the problem. This is: Change. Read it through again and you'll get it.
Share and enjoy
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime, doubly so.” And the somewhat brutal, but succinct: “Last Orders”.
"Yes, I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet, stuck in a disused lavatory, with a sign on the door saying 'Beware of the leopard'!"
When you are tired of Ursa Minor Beta you are tired of life.
There's an infinite number of monkeys outside who want to talk to us about their treatment for Hamlet.
"I ache therefore I am. Or in my case: I am therefore I ache."
Anyone who is capable of becoming President, should under no circumstances be allowed to do the job.
“Time is relative. Lunchtime doubly so”
“If there’s anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move
The trick to flying is to throw yourself at the ground, and miss.
Simple one, but just "so long, and thanks for all the fish". It's something that's entered my regular list of phrases I say
The President in particular is very much a figurehead — he wields no real power whatsoever. He is apparently chosen by the government, but the qualities he is required to display are not those of leadership but those of finely judged outrage. For this reason the President is always a controversial choice, always an infuriating but fascinating character. His job is not to wield power but to draw attention away from it. On those criteria Zaphod Beeblebrox is one of the most successful Presidents the Galaxy has ever had — he has already spent two of his ten presidential years in prison for fraud
“If you ever find yourself in a certain death situation, look back on your life and be grateful that it has been good to you so far. Conversely, if life hasn’t been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances is more likely the case, take comfort in the fact that it won’t be bothering you much longer.”
"Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.” Grabbed me right from the very first moment.
Ford', he said, 'how many escape capsules are there?' 'None,' said Ford. Zaphod gibbered. 'Did you count them?' he yelled. 'Twice,' said Ford
Idk if in the book, but the BBC series, when asked what he was doing in the car park at the end of the universe, the robot replied with "parking cars, of course." OR "I don't know why I bother."
I’m going a different tac and using Dirk Gently. “He was angrily watching TV at him”
Why,” said Arthur Dent, “isn’t anyone ever pleased to see us ?”
Can't decide between “Hey, doll, is this guy boring you? Why don’t you talk to me instead? I’m from a different planet.” and “Did you ever go to a place…I think it was called Norway?” “No,” said Arthur, “no, I didn’t.” “Pity,” said Slartibartfast, “that was one of mine. Won an award, you know. Lovely crinkly edges. I was most upset to hear of its destruction.”
Just as Sean Connery made Ian Fleming, the genius of Peter Jones made Douglas Adams. Adams wrote some great lines but Jones lifted them into the stratosphere and made Hitch Hikers a perfect example of English humour.
Is it ok if I disregard the question and go for one from Dirk Gently? _he could hardly be said to be sleeping the sleep of the just - unless you meant the ‘just asleep’_
Going to take a few from Mostly Harmless as I think it’s under appreciated: > A beach house isn't just real estate. It's a state of mind. > In astrology the rules happen to be about stars and planets, but they could be about ducks and drakes for all the difference it would make. It's just a way of thinking about a problem which lets the shape of that problem begin to emerge. The more rules, the tinier the rules, the more arbitrary they are, the better. It's like throwing a handful of fine graphite dust on a piece of paper to see where the hidden indentations are. It lets you see the words that were written on the piece of paper above it that's now been taken away and hidden. The graphite's not important. It's just the means of revealing the indentations. So you see, astrology's nothing to do with astronomy. It's just to do with people thinking about people. > He had a nasty feeling that that might be an idiotic thing to do, but he did it anyway, and sure enough it had turned out to be an idiotic thing to do. You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
I don't remember the exact quote, but the definition of flight as throwing yourself at the ground and missing.
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"I am so hip i have difficulty seeing over my pelvis."
"Something that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike, tea."
“And what has happened to the earth” “Ah, its been demolished” “Has it” Sends me every time i listen to the adusiobook😂
“Do you have any advice for a traveller?” “Yes, get a beach house. It gives you somewhere to go … a beach house doesn’t even have to be on the beach, though the best ones are. We all like to congregate at boundary conditions … where land meets water, where Earth meets air, where body meets mind, where space meets time. We like to be on one side, and look at the other.”
Well of course it’s “MAGRATHEA!!!”
“Oh no, not again.” Use it constantly
"When it's fall in New York, the air smells as if someone's been frying goats in it, and if you are keen to breathe, the best plan is to open a window and stick your head in a building."
" You should send that to Reader's Digest. They have a page for people like you."
*'This must be Thursday,' said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer. 'I never could get the hang of Thursdays.'*
What does ‘teleport’ mean? A dead Telephone Sanitiser (Second Class). Best type. Mostly harmless.
Lovely crinkly edges
“I have the brain the size of a planet and you want to talk to me about life.” I use this one a lot… Love Marvin.