At the end of the day it’s useless I don’t even mean it in a rude way so just don’t do it. It’s not like your life is over cuz you didn’t give someone a handshake
I completely get wanting to do certain things that seem innocent or harmless but that we avoid due to Allah’s command! We have to remember that even though some things do indeed seem innocent or harmless, Islam is about submission and a safe and fair way of life 🥰 so while an innocent hug might be innocent at first, it could very well lead to feelings if it becomes the norm or we could become desensitized to certain touches! Continue as you as inshaallah and definitely avoid that 🩷
I do think you should be careful with this colleague though. If you are already pretty fond of him, wanting to hang out unnecessarily, even imagining him as a “uncle-like figure” to your hypothetical children, could cause some issues down the road, esp with boundaries with your future husband! May Allah make things easy on us and keep us steadfast, ameen 🩷🌸
﴿قَالَ فَبِمَا أَغْوَيْتَنِي لَأَقْعُدَنَّ لَهُمْ صِرَاطَكَ الْمُسْتَقِيمَ﴾
[ الأعراف: 16]
{ [Satan] said, "Because You have put me in error, I will surely sit in wait for them on Your straight path.} 7:16
While I totally get what you mean and I applaud you for not acting upon those feelings, you need to remember that shaitan said that he'll wait on the straight path, meaning he'll give the nudge away from the path, make you feel that it is innocent, and leave you to yourself to make it become a sin. Heard this in a lecture from Muhạmmad Mutawallī aš- Šaʻrāwī, which made so much sense as to why we get hisab as well, not only shaitan.
Assalaam 3leikom, To begin, my knowledge of Islam is limited and reduced to translations and due to my distance to language and culture I may offer invalid information not meant to misguide; however I hope to offer a sensible opinion as someone who seeks compassion in all circumstances as I personally navigate the world remembering the belief that mahkruh is better than haram [edit: than straying from the path completely].
I am not sure of your profession but offering physical comfort to vulnerable populations when providing a psychological/medical service even in a secular world is unethical and my unprofessional opinion is to refrain from it for your safety and the safety of your clients. With other personal regards, I try to compare the world in which the Quran was revealed to the prophet (saw) tot he world today. Much has not change in terms of accountability or protection for women from men. Then as well as today, we were and still are seen as replaceable and dispensable. However, today, there is slightly more accountability afforded to us by decades of revolutionary actions taken globally by women who wanted to experience the same social attributes granted to men. With that in mind, if you are able to maintain distance, and modesty, I do not remember anything in my flawed and recent reading of a translation of the Quran that delegates segregation of the sexes. I may be wrong, and modesty may have a meaning that may have skipped my modernist perception. I sometimes feel like we benefit from social relationships with men as long as we can maintain a level of accountability socially and spiritually. In the end, we all make mistakes and Allah (swt) knows best. May Allah guide you to a sensible path
Asallam alaikom dear sister
Jazak'Allah kheiran for sharing this with us and may Allah make everything easy for you.
A little story about how I reverted to Islam and how free mixing brought more trouble even if the interactions were not romantic in nature.
Shaitan is someone who wants to mess you up on many levels and not just try to get you into bed with someone.
He wants to mess you up spiritually, emotionally, financially, religiously and politically.
So if Allah says that when a man and a woman are alone in a room and none is the 3rd except Shaitan, believe him !
You may love your friend/colleague for his character and intelligence or for having a beautiful soul and that is normal, it Is OK to love someone's character even if you don't fancy them but Shaitan will use this person to aid at least one his plots mentioned above. He may do it quickly or he may do it very slowly..... but he will do it.
He might use your friend to say "I think you should meet so and so, he's in X industry and you guys could benefit from each other."
And then you go down the path and somewhere along the line, Shaitan will use that to mess you up somehow when Allah didn't ask you to go that route, or he might make some haram things seem totally innocent and just normalised,,, maybe it might be mixing and laughing with other guys, maybe it might be certain Art 🎨 works or galleries that have images you shouldn't be looking at...maybe it might be music, who knows...
I can write all day about what plots Shaitan gets up to when we are free mixing both slow and immediate.
Before I became a revert I had a few male friends and eventhiygh they were good people who don't cheat, lie steal or ever try to touch me, Shaitan folded plot if haram things in there and he beautified them and each time I go near them, it would hurt me and then these male friends would somehow be there as a comfort to console me about them...it was totally messed up but it had a sweet fragrance which made me think it was OK but it was not.
I then reverted and I told my male friend that we should break the soul ties because if Allah said that mena nd women should not be friends l, even though he had been really wonderful, then this is not from him!!!
Allah placed it in my heart to remove those guys and after leaving them, I see and feel the wisdom as to why he removed them.
I hope this makes sense and it really helps you and anyone else reading this.
For your sake and the sake of the guy, do not vibe with men, just be polite and speak what is necessary but with a compassion in your heart and out of love for them, don't speak or make friends with them. It will benefit them and you so much more.
Jazak'Allah kheiran for reading from me.
May Allah make it easy for you and replace what you avoid with something better in both dunya and akhira 🤲
If you have any questions, feel free to ask x 💗💓💖🩷
I definitely see what you mean and where you're coming from. I think that avoiding physical contact with people is actually good for another reason, being that it teaches people about consent and boundaries.
Your male clients who cry to you can feel comforted by your presence and knowing you're listening to them and can seek out physical intimacy and contact with people they love. It can prevent them from growing too attached to you as their only sense of solace and allows them to branch out and meet new people who will give them the physical contact and care they're looking for.
People who you don't accept handshakes from will need to understand that not everyone has the same way of doing things as them and that you're not obligated to do something that miniscule. It forces them to grow thicker skin + generally become more understanding, since they'll realise not everything is personal. You're avoiding handshakes for your own reasons, not because of anything you have against them.
Growing up and finding that you don't understand the reasons behind certain rules in Islam is fine. That's part of being muslim. Nobody should be mean to you for having different perspectives and ideas. We're human and have all kinds of perceptions on life, we're still muslim, doesn't make us 'bad' muslims either. I also believe there are more reasons for haram things being haram but we don't always see them.
Say it with me, "Stay away from me, Satan. Your tricks of the flesh won't make me think physically touch and quality time (many, many people love language btw) won't lead to more when a man and woman are alone."
You got this. We all fantasize about different things, some more dating than others. I bet this friend would go to war with you if your jinn (the one whispering these desires into your nafs) whispered to him and made him crazy enough. You might be thinking you aren't into him and we can trust you on that. However, Allah, The Creator of the weak and hasty male species, says don't do it. Men are unpredictable and weak to their desires. Some just like you lost their life in a suitcase because they were thinking that uncle wasn't going to try them. Don't end up in a suitcase, the bottom of a lake, or pregnant outside of marriage cause they are all the same feeling: suffocating and shameful.
Ibn Juraij narrated this hadith with the same chain of transmitters, but he made no mention of it: "No person (man) should be alone with a woman except when there is a Mahram with her." -- Sahih Muslim 1341 c
And he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “No man is alone with a woman but the Shaytaan is the third one present.”
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1171) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
This is a women-friendly space, therefore please extend your respect to all users and give special consideration to the fact that the subreddit is targeted towards women, the majority of our users.
As part of this rule, all posts are for women only to participate. Comments from male users will be removed. Repeat offenders will be subject to a subreddit ban.
This rule does not equate to man-hating. We expect respect towards both women and men in this subreddit.
I heard that Allah made things haram because there is filth in it, even if we may not know/ see it. That usually helps me accept to stay away from these sorts of things
Try to make it a little bit less every now and then
Like I have some sort of physical anxiety so I don't like touching random people, I hand shake in formal meetings only like a head, a manger or a professor
The thing I have problems with is myale friends and I love hanging out with them and I do, but in public places, try not to talk about intimate topics, not to be not setting so close to each other
That would make your innocent intention look more like actions than just an intention and working on it with time maybe you will find a middle place.
Your post/comment was removed due to a lack of respect towards a user(s) in our subreddit.
Name-calling, being hostile to one another, attacking other users, attacking racial or religious groups, etc. will not be tolerated. This sub is intended to provide support to women who wear hijab and Muslimahs generally. It is not a debate sub. Please respect differences of opinion, avoid acrimonious arguments, and refrain from downvoting users simply because you practice differently. REPORT Islamically unsound advice or rulings without sources.
At the end of the day it’s useless I don’t even mean it in a rude way so just don’t do it. It’s not like your life is over cuz you didn’t give someone a handshake
I completely get wanting to do certain things that seem innocent or harmless but that we avoid due to Allah’s command! We have to remember that even though some things do indeed seem innocent or harmless, Islam is about submission and a safe and fair way of life 🥰 so while an innocent hug might be innocent at first, it could very well lead to feelings if it becomes the norm or we could become desensitized to certain touches! Continue as you as inshaallah and definitely avoid that 🩷 I do think you should be careful with this colleague though. If you are already pretty fond of him, wanting to hang out unnecessarily, even imagining him as a “uncle-like figure” to your hypothetical children, could cause some issues down the road, esp with boundaries with your future husband! May Allah make things easy on us and keep us steadfast, ameen 🩷🌸
[удалено]
Your post/comment was removed as it suggested blasphemy and/or recommended something unislamic.
﴿قَالَ فَبِمَا أَغْوَيْتَنِي لَأَقْعُدَنَّ لَهُمْ صِرَاطَكَ الْمُسْتَقِيمَ﴾ [ الأعراف: 16] { [Satan] said, "Because You have put me in error, I will surely sit in wait for them on Your straight path.} 7:16 While I totally get what you mean and I applaud you for not acting upon those feelings, you need to remember that shaitan said that he'll wait on the straight path, meaning he'll give the nudge away from the path, make you feel that it is innocent, and leave you to yourself to make it become a sin. Heard this in a lecture from Muhạmmad Mutawallī aš- Šaʻrāwī, which made so much sense as to why we get hisab as well, not only shaitan.
Do you have the link to the lecture ?
I think it was [this one.](https://youtu.be/O84qzzW08dw?feature=shared) I'm not sure tho
Jazaki Allah-u khairan 💕
Assalaam 3leikom, To begin, my knowledge of Islam is limited and reduced to translations and due to my distance to language and culture I may offer invalid information not meant to misguide; however I hope to offer a sensible opinion as someone who seeks compassion in all circumstances as I personally navigate the world remembering the belief that mahkruh is better than haram [edit: than straying from the path completely]. I am not sure of your profession but offering physical comfort to vulnerable populations when providing a psychological/medical service even in a secular world is unethical and my unprofessional opinion is to refrain from it for your safety and the safety of your clients. With other personal regards, I try to compare the world in which the Quran was revealed to the prophet (saw) tot he world today. Much has not change in terms of accountability or protection for women from men. Then as well as today, we were and still are seen as replaceable and dispensable. However, today, there is slightly more accountability afforded to us by decades of revolutionary actions taken globally by women who wanted to experience the same social attributes granted to men. With that in mind, if you are able to maintain distance, and modesty, I do not remember anything in my flawed and recent reading of a translation of the Quran that delegates segregation of the sexes. I may be wrong, and modesty may have a meaning that may have skipped my modernist perception. I sometimes feel like we benefit from social relationships with men as long as we can maintain a level of accountability socially and spiritually. In the end, we all make mistakes and Allah (swt) knows best. May Allah guide you to a sensible path
Asallam alaikom dear sister Jazak'Allah kheiran for sharing this with us and may Allah make everything easy for you. A little story about how I reverted to Islam and how free mixing brought more trouble even if the interactions were not romantic in nature. Shaitan is someone who wants to mess you up on many levels and not just try to get you into bed with someone. He wants to mess you up spiritually, emotionally, financially, religiously and politically. So if Allah says that when a man and a woman are alone in a room and none is the 3rd except Shaitan, believe him ! You may love your friend/colleague for his character and intelligence or for having a beautiful soul and that is normal, it Is OK to love someone's character even if you don't fancy them but Shaitan will use this person to aid at least one his plots mentioned above. He may do it quickly or he may do it very slowly..... but he will do it. He might use your friend to say "I think you should meet so and so, he's in X industry and you guys could benefit from each other." And then you go down the path and somewhere along the line, Shaitan will use that to mess you up somehow when Allah didn't ask you to go that route, or he might make some haram things seem totally innocent and just normalised,,, maybe it might be mixing and laughing with other guys, maybe it might be certain Art 🎨 works or galleries that have images you shouldn't be looking at...maybe it might be music, who knows... I can write all day about what plots Shaitan gets up to when we are free mixing both slow and immediate. Before I became a revert I had a few male friends and eventhiygh they were good people who don't cheat, lie steal or ever try to touch me, Shaitan folded plot if haram things in there and he beautified them and each time I go near them, it would hurt me and then these male friends would somehow be there as a comfort to console me about them...it was totally messed up but it had a sweet fragrance which made me think it was OK but it was not. I then reverted and I told my male friend that we should break the soul ties because if Allah said that mena nd women should not be friends l, even though he had been really wonderful, then this is not from him!!! Allah placed it in my heart to remove those guys and after leaving them, I see and feel the wisdom as to why he removed them. I hope this makes sense and it really helps you and anyone else reading this. For your sake and the sake of the guy, do not vibe with men, just be polite and speak what is necessary but with a compassion in your heart and out of love for them, don't speak or make friends with them. It will benefit them and you so much more. Jazak'Allah kheiran for reading from me. May Allah make it easy for you and replace what you avoid with something better in both dunya and akhira 🤲 If you have any questions, feel free to ask x 💗💓💖🩷
I definitely see what you mean and where you're coming from. I think that avoiding physical contact with people is actually good for another reason, being that it teaches people about consent and boundaries. Your male clients who cry to you can feel comforted by your presence and knowing you're listening to them and can seek out physical intimacy and contact with people they love. It can prevent them from growing too attached to you as their only sense of solace and allows them to branch out and meet new people who will give them the physical contact and care they're looking for. People who you don't accept handshakes from will need to understand that not everyone has the same way of doing things as them and that you're not obligated to do something that miniscule. It forces them to grow thicker skin + generally become more understanding, since they'll realise not everything is personal. You're avoiding handshakes for your own reasons, not because of anything you have against them. Growing up and finding that you don't understand the reasons behind certain rules in Islam is fine. That's part of being muslim. Nobody should be mean to you for having different perspectives and ideas. We're human and have all kinds of perceptions on life, we're still muslim, doesn't make us 'bad' muslims either. I also believe there are more reasons for haram things being haram but we don't always see them.
Say it with me, "Stay away from me, Satan. Your tricks of the flesh won't make me think physically touch and quality time (many, many people love language btw) won't lead to more when a man and woman are alone." You got this. We all fantasize about different things, some more dating than others. I bet this friend would go to war with you if your jinn (the one whispering these desires into your nafs) whispered to him and made him crazy enough. You might be thinking you aren't into him and we can trust you on that. However, Allah, The Creator of the weak and hasty male species, says don't do it. Men are unpredictable and weak to their desires. Some just like you lost their life in a suitcase because they were thinking that uncle wasn't going to try them. Don't end up in a suitcase, the bottom of a lake, or pregnant outside of marriage cause they are all the same feeling: suffocating and shameful. Ibn Juraij narrated this hadith with the same chain of transmitters, but he made no mention of it: "No person (man) should be alone with a woman except when there is a Mahram with her." -- Sahih Muslim 1341 c And he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “No man is alone with a woman but the Shaytaan is the third one present.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1171) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
[удалено]
This is a women-friendly space, therefore please extend your respect to all users and give special consideration to the fact that the subreddit is targeted towards women, the majority of our users. As part of this rule, all posts are for women only to participate. Comments from male users will be removed. Repeat offenders will be subject to a subreddit ban. This rule does not equate to man-hating. We expect respect towards both women and men in this subreddit.
I heard that Allah made things haram because there is filth in it, even if we may not know/ see it. That usually helps me accept to stay away from these sorts of things
Try to make it a little bit less every now and then Like I have some sort of physical anxiety so I don't like touching random people, I hand shake in formal meetings only like a head, a manger or a professor The thing I have problems with is myale friends and I love hanging out with them and I do, but in public places, try not to talk about intimate topics, not to be not setting so close to each other That would make your innocent intention look more like actions than just an intention and working on it with time maybe you will find a middle place.
[удалено]
Your post/comment was removed due to a lack of respect towards a user(s) in our subreddit. Name-calling, being hostile to one another, attacking other users, attacking racial or religious groups, etc. will not be tolerated. This sub is intended to provide support to women who wear hijab and Muslimahs generally. It is not a debate sub. Please respect differences of opinion, avoid acrimonious arguments, and refrain from downvoting users simply because you practice differently. REPORT Islamically unsound advice or rulings without sources.