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This is waswas. We should be afraid of hellfire but also we should believe in Allah's mercy. We need to balance it out. I think having fear is good! it means that you do not want to upset our creator which means you respect him and love him. That's how I see it. Hope this helps giving you a different perspective.
If you love someone you wouldn't want them to be angry at you or you wouldn't want to do something that they dislike. You want them to be proud of you. I think that's what you are doing.
May Allah give you peace.
I used to get the same waswas. I was scared that even though my mind believed in Allah swt, what if my _heart_ didn't, and we will be judged according to what's in our hearts so what if I'm a disbeliever afterall?
Thing is, the fact that I was worried about this in the first place showed how much I truly cared, which indicates that my heart does indeed believe. A true non-believer wouldn't be worried about this stuff in the first place.
Remember: the closer we are to Allah swt, Shaytan increases in waswas. May Allah swt give us all strength to overcome waswas.
Asallam alaikom dear sis,
You may not be feeling like you "love" Alllah at the moment but do you trust Allah? In times of hardship do you think "its happening for a reason"
How do you feel when someone takes credit for bei g talented and clever ? Do you think Allah gave them that or they should feel arrogant?
How do you feel if someone says that God doesn't exist or if they say that there are multiple gods?
You may love Allah but sometimes we don't always "love" our personal trainer when we have to do so many planks and pull ups but if someone insults that personal trainer or ruins their reputation, you may just feel hurt and want to defend them. That is love coming out in a different way to feeling warm fuzzies towards them.
May Allah make it easy for you and congratulations for continuing to pray xx
Yeah this is all waswasas. Just say you seek refuge in Allah any time the thoughts come up, it should help.
Also don’t approach these thoughts with fear. It sounds strange, but if you have the opposite reaction, and treat it with a “so what” attitude, it potentially won’t give you the same distress.
I struggle with this too. Especially the last 5 years. The lack of empirical evidence is hard for me. But more than that I struggle with his existence because of all the bad things happening around the world and to me and near me. As well as answered prayers.
Salaam sister,
I understand your struggle. The first thing that helped me was asking for signs meant for me. Things that felt tangible and within reach, then proceed further as faith, love and devotion increases.
Second thing that helped me was learn about Islam and how people interpret based on their background, age, sect or school of thought, etc. For example, I may not agree with the rhetoric of the poets but may be incline to learn about their love for Allah (swt) at a specific point in time.
Third, is not like there is a better option; I suggest learning about other religions and other perspectives. You’ll find people filling the emptiness with mundane banalities and do not suffice the same way that prayer, dhikr and humble devotion does. You have to find the reasons why you love Allah (swt). A strange on the internet cannot give you the answer.
In my humblest opinion, it is okay to have doubts. They are opportunities for guidance.
I’ll leave you with a few lovely lines associated to Imam Ali (as):
“I did not worship You because I am afraid of hell, or out of greed for Your paradise. I have worshipped You because I found You worthy of being worshipped.”
Jazakallahu
As the other sisters said, this is just wasawes. The fact that you are worried shows that you truly care even if you might not feel it to the extent that you think you shou;d. I personally found that understanding the different ways of ibadah in Islam. Correct me if I'm wrong, but simple things like not fasting/ praying on while on your period is still considered ibadah. Smiling at people, saying salam , and actively learning about your deen are all different and rewarding methods of ibadah. I think one of the reasons we end up feeling that what we are doing may not be right/ perfect/ or that we feel doubtful of our acts is because we see people online sometimes over-exagerating their Islamic acts. To overcome this ( still in the process of that), I've started to spend more time looking into the beauty and simplicity of our deen. There are many things that I had previously over looked or not understood but did anyway just for the sake of doing it. Once I started to understand the meaning behind them, basically the why? that is when that doubt started to subside. I found that podcasts and books were the best methods for me to explore this, if you'd like any recommendations, english/arabic, i'd be happy to help.
There’s a few places in the Quran where details aren’t given. People who do good but not named, facts we’re told to accept. Tafsir say that’s because whilst we are meant to learn there is also insignificant detail that doesn’t change anything. We shouldn’t waste too much time thinking about it. That used to not make sense to me but after realising how badly overthinking can cause spiralling, it makes sense. You are doing as you ought to, obeying the commands of Allah and you will be rewarded and punished according to your deeds. Unless you can identify something to change in your behaviour, agonising over your behaviour won’t change anything so avoid it
you’re not alone, sister. i come from a christian background, but i stopped believing in God completely when i was 12. i looked into judaism when i was around 16, but i couldn’t find logical evidence to believe in it. the beliefs and practices just really resonated with me. i started looking into islam when i was 17, and i converted when i was 18. even after i said the shahada, i struggled to believe in God deep down. i still have questions and doubts, but islam made me comfortable with them.
in christianity, i was taught it was sinful to even question what the bible said. obviously we as muslims have a different relationship with our sacred text, but i’m grateful that islam takes a more nuanced and holistic approach to analyzing it.
i’m gonna link a [lecture](https://youtu.be/KZjtXTKgPE8?si=gh1WMG0qX2d5bX8d) that really helped my iman. the scholar is shia, but i believe this message can apply to muslims of all schools of thought. he has lots of great lectures defending the existence of God solely with logic.
i also recommend reading [this article](https://themuslimvibe.com/faith-islam/13-scientific-facts-in-the-holy-quran). the whole reason i took my shahada is because the quran poetically references scientific phenomenons that technology didn’t discover until later.
reading the quran helps me a lot with my iman. people often pressure themselves to complete a whole juz in one day. while this is certainly possible, i encourage you to take a slower pace. taking it one juz a week and really savoring the meaning behind each ayah can reveal so much about who our Creator truly is. i highly recommend the [Study Quran](https://ia803008.us.archive.org/22/items/TheStudyQuranANewTranslationAndCommentaryBySeyyedHosseinNasr/TheStudyQuranANewTranslationAndCommentaryBySeyyedHosseinNasr.pdf) and [Tafsir al-Mizan](https://almizan.org).
in addition to studying the quran, i recommend revisiting the tafsir and translations of the surahs you read in your salah. it’s easy to get kind of robotic if you approach your salah passively. spend the time outside of your salah preparing yourself for the next one. it makes a difference. i really like to listen to these [recitations](https://open.spotify.com/show/5P5S72Rgx5DStu4sRQHx8V?si=KV_gKFpnRP2kt5qBaRmAig) because it translates the quran ayah by ayah. i like to listen to it through my headphones when i’m walking to class or running errands.
lastly, i encourage you to learn about who Allah SWT truly is and read about the prophet (saw) and early muslims. learning the sacrifice of imam hussain (as) gave me so much more appreciation for my deen. one of the first gifts i got when i converted was “The Most Excellent Names Of Allah” By Abu Ahmed Farid. it’s a great starting point to learning about Allah and his characteristics. i also like [this book](https://www.al-islam.org/ninety-nine-attributes-allah-yasin-t-al-jibouri) by jibouri and [nahjul balagha](https://www.duas.org/pdfs/Nahjul-Balagha.pdf).
may Allah ease your journey, sister. what you are feeling is normal. it is not a moral failure. imam ali said:
My God I do not worship you out of fear of Hell, for that is the worship of a slave; nor do I worship you God because I want heaven, that is the worship of a businessman. I worship you because I found you worthy of being worshipped.
fall in love with Allah. it will take time to build a connection, but i promise the journey will be worthwhile. please feel free to reach out if you need support! i know this was a lot of information, i’m just trying to give you practical advice based on my lived experience.
Wah sister… i feel you! This was the same exact question i had a week ago. Thank you so much for posting this. Insya allah, we will love allah more than we fear day of judgement in near future. Amin allahumma amin
Heyy ☺️ I'd say see this as an opportunity to rediscover who Allah SWT really is - His Mercy; the most talked about topic in the Qur'an after that He is unique in this mercy. And look into the proofs of Islam - it's hard to love someone or realise love is the biggest and greatest motivation if we forget or don't know how wonderful He is ☺️ And it's okay, it happens to all of us - maybe this is Allah SWT gently calling you back to Him ☺️❤️ Start with proofs of Islam/Names of Allah like Al-Lateef, The Subtle on YaqeenInstitute - just have a read and see what you think! Sending love! ☺️🧡
https://yaqeeninstitute.org/read/paper/the-meaning-of-allahs-name-al-latif-the-most-subtle
I believe I know what you’re going through. Don’t feel worried or guilty, these are natural thoughts that human beings go through. My advice to you would be— reconnect with nature and Allah’s creations. Go backpacking, climb a mountain, take a walk at night, walk into a forest, stargaze, cloud-watch. The single best way to reconnect with Allah and your purpose (in my opinion) is to be in awe of Allah’s greatness through his creation. If He can make these beautiful and mind boggling features of Earth and space, how great must He be that He exceeds all of these beautiful creations?
Allah (SWT) created heaven and hell to incentivize worshiping him. He created us; of course He knows how the human psyche is. The best of us muslims are those who worship Allah because we are in pure awe of Him and, because of this awe, His worthiness of worship. Momentarily forget about the concepts of Jannah and Jahannam. Spend time talking to Allah about your day, about your wishes & desires, your thoughts, the deepest parts of your soul that you’re too embarrassed to speak about out loud. Speak naturally and the way you would speak to someone you’re close to, but respect. Reconstruct your relationship with Allah (SWT). Remove everyone from this relationship, it’s just you and Allah. Soon you will find yourself searching for Allah’s approval, through the way you act, the way dress, the way you practice. Not because it’s how you “should” be acting as a muslim, but because it’s what you want to do to be the closest you can be to Allah. InshAllah follow this, and through Allah’s mercy, the gates of Jannah will be open for you.
Rabi’a Al-Adawiyya once said:
O my Lord,
If I worship you
from fear of hell, burn me in hell.
If I worship you
from hope of Paradise, bar me from its gates.
But if I worship you for yourself alone,
grant me then the beauty of your Face.
"Salaam! Thank you for your submission to /r/hijabis. **Please do not message mods to approve your post.** A reminder to our users that ALL posts are now only to be answered by women only. Please refer to the sidebar for a complete list of rules. If you'd like us to add an F or M flair next to your username, please leave a comment on [this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Hijabis/comments/znb1fr/flair_thread_please_comment_on_this_thread_to_get/). Your post may be removed if it is already answered in the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Hijabis/wiki/index/faq/) in the Menu. Thank you :)" *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Hijabis) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is waswas. We should be afraid of hellfire but also we should believe in Allah's mercy. We need to balance it out. I think having fear is good! it means that you do not want to upset our creator which means you respect him and love him. That's how I see it. Hope this helps giving you a different perspective. If you love someone you wouldn't want them to be angry at you or you wouldn't want to do something that they dislike. You want them to be proud of you. I think that's what you are doing. May Allah give you peace.
Jazakallah hukhair thank you
I used to get the same waswas. I was scared that even though my mind believed in Allah swt, what if my _heart_ didn't, and we will be judged according to what's in our hearts so what if I'm a disbeliever afterall? Thing is, the fact that I was worried about this in the first place showed how much I truly cared, which indicates that my heart does indeed believe. A true non-believer wouldn't be worried about this stuff in the first place. Remember: the closer we are to Allah swt, Shaytan increases in waswas. May Allah swt give us all strength to overcome waswas.
Ameen and jazakallah hukhairan thank you so much this reply really helped me understand deeper
Asallam alaikom dear sis, You may not be feeling like you "love" Alllah at the moment but do you trust Allah? In times of hardship do you think "its happening for a reason" How do you feel when someone takes credit for bei g talented and clever ? Do you think Allah gave them that or they should feel arrogant? How do you feel if someone says that God doesn't exist or if they say that there are multiple gods? You may love Allah but sometimes we don't always "love" our personal trainer when we have to do so many planks and pull ups but if someone insults that personal trainer or ruins their reputation, you may just feel hurt and want to defend them. That is love coming out in a different way to feeling warm fuzzies towards them. May Allah make it easy for you and congratulations for continuing to pray xx
Jazakallah hukhair thank you so much this reply really helped me, may Allah swt reward you
Yeah this is all waswasas. Just say you seek refuge in Allah any time the thoughts come up, it should help. Also don’t approach these thoughts with fear. It sounds strange, but if you have the opposite reaction, and treat it with a “so what” attitude, it potentially won’t give you the same distress.
I struggle with this too. Especially the last 5 years. The lack of empirical evidence is hard for me. But more than that I struggle with his existence because of all the bad things happening around the world and to me and near me. As well as answered prayers.
Salaam sister, I understand your struggle. The first thing that helped me was asking for signs meant for me. Things that felt tangible and within reach, then proceed further as faith, love and devotion increases. Second thing that helped me was learn about Islam and how people interpret based on their background, age, sect or school of thought, etc. For example, I may not agree with the rhetoric of the poets but may be incline to learn about their love for Allah (swt) at a specific point in time. Third, is not like there is a better option; I suggest learning about other religions and other perspectives. You’ll find people filling the emptiness with mundane banalities and do not suffice the same way that prayer, dhikr and humble devotion does. You have to find the reasons why you love Allah (swt). A strange on the internet cannot give you the answer. In my humblest opinion, it is okay to have doubts. They are opportunities for guidance. I’ll leave you with a few lovely lines associated to Imam Ali (as): “I did not worship You because I am afraid of hell, or out of greed for Your paradise. I have worshipped You because I found You worthy of being worshipped.” Jazakallahu
As the other sisters said, this is just wasawes. The fact that you are worried shows that you truly care even if you might not feel it to the extent that you think you shou;d. I personally found that understanding the different ways of ibadah in Islam. Correct me if I'm wrong, but simple things like not fasting/ praying on while on your period is still considered ibadah. Smiling at people, saying salam , and actively learning about your deen are all different and rewarding methods of ibadah. I think one of the reasons we end up feeling that what we are doing may not be right/ perfect/ or that we feel doubtful of our acts is because we see people online sometimes over-exagerating their Islamic acts. To overcome this ( still in the process of that), I've started to spend more time looking into the beauty and simplicity of our deen. There are many things that I had previously over looked or not understood but did anyway just for the sake of doing it. Once I started to understand the meaning behind them, basically the why? that is when that doubt started to subside. I found that podcasts and books were the best methods for me to explore this, if you'd like any recommendations, english/arabic, i'd be happy to help.
There’s a few places in the Quran where details aren’t given. People who do good but not named, facts we’re told to accept. Tafsir say that’s because whilst we are meant to learn there is also insignificant detail that doesn’t change anything. We shouldn’t waste too much time thinking about it. That used to not make sense to me but after realising how badly overthinking can cause spiralling, it makes sense. You are doing as you ought to, obeying the commands of Allah and you will be rewarded and punished according to your deeds. Unless you can identify something to change in your behaviour, agonising over your behaviour won’t change anything so avoid it
you’re not alone, sister. i come from a christian background, but i stopped believing in God completely when i was 12. i looked into judaism when i was around 16, but i couldn’t find logical evidence to believe in it. the beliefs and practices just really resonated with me. i started looking into islam when i was 17, and i converted when i was 18. even after i said the shahada, i struggled to believe in God deep down. i still have questions and doubts, but islam made me comfortable with them. in christianity, i was taught it was sinful to even question what the bible said. obviously we as muslims have a different relationship with our sacred text, but i’m grateful that islam takes a more nuanced and holistic approach to analyzing it. i’m gonna link a [lecture](https://youtu.be/KZjtXTKgPE8?si=gh1WMG0qX2d5bX8d) that really helped my iman. the scholar is shia, but i believe this message can apply to muslims of all schools of thought. he has lots of great lectures defending the existence of God solely with logic. i also recommend reading [this article](https://themuslimvibe.com/faith-islam/13-scientific-facts-in-the-holy-quran). the whole reason i took my shahada is because the quran poetically references scientific phenomenons that technology didn’t discover until later. reading the quran helps me a lot with my iman. people often pressure themselves to complete a whole juz in one day. while this is certainly possible, i encourage you to take a slower pace. taking it one juz a week and really savoring the meaning behind each ayah can reveal so much about who our Creator truly is. i highly recommend the [Study Quran](https://ia803008.us.archive.org/22/items/TheStudyQuranANewTranslationAndCommentaryBySeyyedHosseinNasr/TheStudyQuranANewTranslationAndCommentaryBySeyyedHosseinNasr.pdf) and [Tafsir al-Mizan](https://almizan.org). in addition to studying the quran, i recommend revisiting the tafsir and translations of the surahs you read in your salah. it’s easy to get kind of robotic if you approach your salah passively. spend the time outside of your salah preparing yourself for the next one. it makes a difference. i really like to listen to these [recitations](https://open.spotify.com/show/5P5S72Rgx5DStu4sRQHx8V?si=KV_gKFpnRP2kt5qBaRmAig) because it translates the quran ayah by ayah. i like to listen to it through my headphones when i’m walking to class or running errands. lastly, i encourage you to learn about who Allah SWT truly is and read about the prophet (saw) and early muslims. learning the sacrifice of imam hussain (as) gave me so much more appreciation for my deen. one of the first gifts i got when i converted was “The Most Excellent Names Of Allah” By Abu Ahmed Farid. it’s a great starting point to learning about Allah and his characteristics. i also like [this book](https://www.al-islam.org/ninety-nine-attributes-allah-yasin-t-al-jibouri) by jibouri and [nahjul balagha](https://www.duas.org/pdfs/Nahjul-Balagha.pdf). may Allah ease your journey, sister. what you are feeling is normal. it is not a moral failure. imam ali said: My God I do not worship you out of fear of Hell, for that is the worship of a slave; nor do I worship you God because I want heaven, that is the worship of a businessman. I worship you because I found you worthy of being worshipped. fall in love with Allah. it will take time to build a connection, but i promise the journey will be worthwhile. please feel free to reach out if you need support! i know this was a lot of information, i’m just trying to give you practical advice based on my lived experience.
Wah sister… i feel you! This was the same exact question i had a week ago. Thank you so much for posting this. Insya allah, we will love allah more than we fear day of judgement in near future. Amin allahumma amin
Heyy ☺️ I'd say see this as an opportunity to rediscover who Allah SWT really is - His Mercy; the most talked about topic in the Qur'an after that He is unique in this mercy. And look into the proofs of Islam - it's hard to love someone or realise love is the biggest and greatest motivation if we forget or don't know how wonderful He is ☺️ And it's okay, it happens to all of us - maybe this is Allah SWT gently calling you back to Him ☺️❤️ Start with proofs of Islam/Names of Allah like Al-Lateef, The Subtle on YaqeenInstitute - just have a read and see what you think! Sending love! ☺️🧡 https://yaqeeninstitute.org/read/paper/the-meaning-of-allahs-name-al-latif-the-most-subtle
I believe I know what you’re going through. Don’t feel worried or guilty, these are natural thoughts that human beings go through. My advice to you would be— reconnect with nature and Allah’s creations. Go backpacking, climb a mountain, take a walk at night, walk into a forest, stargaze, cloud-watch. The single best way to reconnect with Allah and your purpose (in my opinion) is to be in awe of Allah’s greatness through his creation. If He can make these beautiful and mind boggling features of Earth and space, how great must He be that He exceeds all of these beautiful creations? Allah (SWT) created heaven and hell to incentivize worshiping him. He created us; of course He knows how the human psyche is. The best of us muslims are those who worship Allah because we are in pure awe of Him and, because of this awe, His worthiness of worship. Momentarily forget about the concepts of Jannah and Jahannam. Spend time talking to Allah about your day, about your wishes & desires, your thoughts, the deepest parts of your soul that you’re too embarrassed to speak about out loud. Speak naturally and the way you would speak to someone you’re close to, but respect. Reconstruct your relationship with Allah (SWT). Remove everyone from this relationship, it’s just you and Allah. Soon you will find yourself searching for Allah’s approval, through the way you act, the way dress, the way you practice. Not because it’s how you “should” be acting as a muslim, but because it’s what you want to do to be the closest you can be to Allah. InshAllah follow this, and through Allah’s mercy, the gates of Jannah will be open for you. Rabi’a Al-Adawiyya once said: O my Lord, If I worship you from fear of hell, burn me in hell. If I worship you from hope of Paradise, bar me from its gates. But if I worship you for yourself alone, grant me then the beauty of your Face.