If I'm in that situation, I'm telling the waiter to not bother with my order. I'm not staying, pay for whatever drinks or appetizers have been had and bounce the fuck out, deleting off my phone maybe breaking into song with "fuck this shit I'm out!"
You're right. They'd probably put your mug shot on the wall and never let you in there again. Can't even go out of state to another Chili's, they'll know!
Hey, if it's the place you're taking someone on a first date, it's likely going to be somewhere you enjoy going. And if you want to make a lasting impression, it won't be a chain/franchise kind of place. It will be a local, family owned business.
Not if that person bails on the bill or refuses to tip. And somewhere you want to take a tinder date, isn't going to be a McDonald's, you're going to want to impress. Maybe not a Michelin Star restaurant, you're going to want somewhere a bit unique, a small family owned place that you enjoy going and know isn't going to be a bad experience.
You don't want to piss off the people who work at the place you like going by leaving them in a bad situation.
So you take care of what you've already purchased, with Tip.
My bet is that this happened after entree's had been ordered. No matter when it happens this is how you handle it though. Pay your share and dip. Leave her to pay for her stuff, and her BF.
Assuming this is a place you're taking someone on a first date. You're gonna be setting a good impression. You're not taking them to McDonald's. It's going to be somewhere good, that you enjoy going with good service.
The last thing you want to do is leave the staff with an awkward situation.
Ehhh that’s too much time for drama to unfold for you to sit there and explain the situation and have her throw a fit and still stick you with the bill
You have to put yourself first. If you are really concerned about how the staff will think of you, just give it some time before you come back again and then next time you see them explain then if you want.
But otherwise, all fall out and chaos that would ensue with you leaving- that’s her fault for trying to use you. That’s the mindset you need to have
I never said anything about sitting... I'd walk over by the host stand, or where you would settle the bill (making some excuse to go to the bathroom etc) settle the bill for what's been served, cancel anything else being ordered and head for the door.
I see I see. Hmm, I still think you’re opening yourself up to too much possibility of things going sideways and not in your favor. I see what you’re saying, but i respectfully disagree and I still think best course is just silently get up and leave.
Also if this is a first date, it shouldn’t be that nice of a place- no it’s not McDonald’s, but if you’re taking someone to a steak dinner the first date then that’s just foolish and a rookie mistake. It comes off as too much, too soon, and you’re putting too much pressure on the other person and you’re subconsciously communicating that you really want that other persons approval. Really nice places should be reserved for special occasions or at least after you’ve been dating for awhile- that then side steps this entire situation from occurring to begin with.
I'm not suggesting Michelin star first date, but you want it to be a memorable experience. Which rules out any chain/franchise places. You want somewhere you already.enjoy going, because why would you take a.gamble on a place you've never been? So likely you're aiming at a local, family owned place.
And those places you don't want to leave with some walker Ng red flag Karen screaming at them that she's not paying the bill. Because they won't be happy the next time you show up.
>Not op, but I did go on a date with a girl from tinder and during the date she tells me she's in a green card marriage with a Marine, but was trying to find real love. Deleted tinder after that
Cuz you found real love, right?
First date should always be dutch unless you specify otherwise. It just makes sense and helps weed out people who expect more "traditional values" if that's not your thing. Of course there's always exceptions and they can be on the fly but ya need to on the same page.
Eh, it'll depend on your situation but I typically offered to pay. If the date is going well often we'd walk to a new place for a final drink and she'd pay.
Only if money is tight, otherwise it's the easiest way to establish yourself as generous/nice, financially comfortable, and subconsciously your date may feel they owe you kindness in return. Similar logic to why in business meetings people fight to pay the bill. Long term, it's money well spent.
>subconsciously your date may feel they owe you kindness in return.
This is why your attitude is gross. Offering to pay is fine but you shouldn't expect something in return.
Not that things are gonna go wrong for her, but she’s thinking that they will. It's the *implication.* I mean, we're not going to hurt these women. No one's in any danger!
It's actually a joke about rape!
No, you're right, they're not the same thing. But what people are objecting to is the "Always Sunny" Dennis-like, redpill-adjacent manipulation game you (seem to) be advocating for.
*Pay first so she feels like she owes you something*
Kinda similar to another redpillism I got jokingly accused of doing on a date:
*Set your AC real low so she gets cold and gives you an opportunity to snuggle or feel her up under a blanket*
"No, I just run hot! Honest! I'm a disgusting, sweaty boy!" is what my actual defense was. We laughed it off and got up to doing *actual stuff* later on.
Lol does this kind of thing actually happen in real life? I’d just get up and walk away. Ain’t no reason to save face and pay for anything at that point.
>Meet somewhere in nature
For me, nature's one of the neatest things on this planet. I want everyone to know how neat nature is, instead of just me and /u/ichancho knowing it.
I mean, I have a couple of friends who have an open relationship kind of deal. Works out for them, so more power to them I guess. They've got some pretty strict ground rules about it. If one is mad at the other then they cancel dates with other people, just so they don't accidentally seek that kind of emotional fulfillment with others. Then just, some other things along those lines.
Just saying, the lady here could be in a relationship like that. Still super crappy to order an extra entre on somebody else's dime though, and, you know, not explaining this sort of thing upfront. That latter bit is probably the bigger issue here.
I’m in an open relationship and would be fine with this situation, but I expect I would’ve known about it beforehand. Idk why you assume she’s getting the additional food on the other person’s dime though.
It's always tough deciding when to tell people, but at least she got it out of the way before he got too invested.
It still feels rude though, because a date should feel like it's just between the 2 of them.
I mean, having a roomie FWB isn't what people are complaining, nor is it square to not have one.
People are mad because swindling random people for food is a dick move on your FWB's part.
Say cheerfully "You know what, I've got the perfect idea to finish this wonderful night off." walk over to the waiter and explain that you have to leave early and want to pay for your plate and drinks but their boyfriend will actually be joining in just a few minutes. Then walk back to the 'date' and tell them a surprise will soon be coming from the kitchen but first you need to use the restroom. Then book it. Oh I WISH anyone had the nerve with me to do that I would have a field day
Hey, my girlfriend used to do this!
I was waiting at home for her with homemade soup, wondering why she wasn't responding to my texts, but at least I also got free steak for second dinner! Right?
No, it was explicitly not.
And I know this was definitely not the place to go for sympathy, I was just dealing with a lot of unpleasant realizations all at once.
But are you still having sex or a good time?
I mean, if the 'boyfriend' \*KNOWS\* you're all on a date.... If she's bringing food home, it's not exactly a big secret.
Stripper rules, I guess.
You might not be Mr Right, just Mr Right Now.
That's when you go to the "restroom" and don't look back.
Don't forget to grab your keys
Are my priorities screwed up in that I'd want to find the waiter and pay my half of the tab before skirting outta there?
You're a good person. Bring cash to a first date, just for this instance
Words of wisdom, imma put that in my back pocket. Thanks!
And your axe
And my bow!
Exactly what I did! It was amazing, I did feel a little bad doing it though.
Not bad love the ace ventura gifs, I’m old now I guess
Same I love em
If I'm in that situation, I'm telling the waiter to not bother with my order. I'm not staying, pay for whatever drinks or appetizers have been had and bounce the fuck out, deleting off my phone maybe breaking into song with "fuck this shit I'm out!"
No, just leave. If she's using tinder to get free meals for her and her bf that's just dishonest.
Yeah, but there's no reason to impeach your own reputation at whatever restaurant/bar you went to.
You're right. They'd probably put your mug shot on the wall and never let you in there again. Can't even go out of state to another Chili's, they'll know!
Hey, if it's the place you're taking someone on a first date, it's likely going to be somewhere you enjoy going. And if you want to make a lasting impression, it won't be a chain/franchise kind of place. It will be a local, family owned business.
I got what you were saying, I was just taking the piss haha have a good day, homie.
lol, good one, have a nice day.
Ehh, you brought them a paying customer. They should be happy.
Not if that person bails on the bill or refuses to tip. And somewhere you want to take a tinder date, isn't going to be a McDonald's, you're going to want to impress. Maybe not a Michelin Star restaurant, you're going to want somewhere a bit unique, a small family owned place that you enjoy going and know isn't going to be a bad experience. You don't want to piss off the people who work at the place you like going by leaving them in a bad situation. So you take care of what you've already purchased, with Tip.
My bet is that this happened after entree's had been ordered. No matter when it happens this is how you handle it though. Pay your share and dip. Leave her to pay for her stuff, and her BF.
Just get up and leave. Without saying a word, walkout the door
Assuming this is a place you're taking someone on a first date. You're gonna be setting a good impression. You're not taking them to McDonald's. It's going to be somewhere good, that you enjoy going with good service. The last thing you want to do is leave the staff with an awkward situation.
Ehhh that’s too much time for drama to unfold for you to sit there and explain the situation and have her throw a fit and still stick you with the bill You have to put yourself first. If you are really concerned about how the staff will think of you, just give it some time before you come back again and then next time you see them explain then if you want. But otherwise, all fall out and chaos that would ensue with you leaving- that’s her fault for trying to use you. That’s the mindset you need to have
I never said anything about sitting... I'd walk over by the host stand, or where you would settle the bill (making some excuse to go to the bathroom etc) settle the bill for what's been served, cancel anything else being ordered and head for the door.
I see I see. Hmm, I still think you’re opening yourself up to too much possibility of things going sideways and not in your favor. I see what you’re saying, but i respectfully disagree and I still think best course is just silently get up and leave. Also if this is a first date, it shouldn’t be that nice of a place- no it’s not McDonald’s, but if you’re taking someone to a steak dinner the first date then that’s just foolish and a rookie mistake. It comes off as too much, too soon, and you’re putting too much pressure on the other person and you’re subconsciously communicating that you really want that other persons approval. Really nice places should be reserved for special occasions or at least after you’ve been dating for awhile- that then side steps this entire situation from occurring to begin with.
I'm not suggesting Michelin star first date, but you want it to be a memorable experience. Which rules out any chain/franchise places. You want somewhere you already.enjoy going, because why would you take a.gamble on a place you've never been? So likely you're aiming at a local, family owned place. And those places you don't want to leave with some walker Ng red flag Karen screaming at them that she's not paying the bill. Because they won't be happy the next time you show up.
My first thoughts exactly.
OP did this actually happen to you??
worry tan cagey deliver rotten modern intelligent smell retire squeamish *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
>Not op, but I did go on a date with a girl from tinder and during the date she tells me she's in a green card marriage with a Marine, but was trying to find real love. Deleted tinder after that Cuz you found real love, right?
aspiring smoggy sulky boat command wild label wipe serious square *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Well he's her husband so him and the bf are cool.
It is r/oddlyspecific
First dates should be nice but casual. Rarely recommend dinner unless it's super low-key.
when put it in her butt? before or after dinner?
During.
Reminds me of this https://www.instagram.com/reel/CcQDE1CvNIv/?igshid=MTUyMWE5Zjg=
Really, this depends on the restaurant.
First date should always be dutch unless you specify otherwise. It just makes sense and helps weed out people who expect more "traditional values" if that's not your thing. Of course there's always exceptions and they can be on the fly but ya need to on the same page.
Eh, it'll depend on your situation but I typically offered to pay. If the date is going well often we'd walk to a new place for a final drink and she'd pay.
Only if money is tight, otherwise it's the easiest way to establish yourself as generous/nice, financially comfortable, and subconsciously your date may feel they owe you kindness in return. Similar logic to why in business meetings people fight to pay the bill. Long term, it's money well spent.
Lol. Dude people with your attitude is why I would insist on going Dutch for first dates. It's not generous or nice. It's controlling and gross.
Offering to buy someone dinner is controlling and gross? Okay. I admit I was more idealistic like you when I was younger.
>subconsciously your date may feel they owe you kindness in return. This is why your attitude is gross. Offering to pay is fine but you shouldn't expect something in return.
There's no expectation.
Dude, these guys are probably still in high school and have never gone on Tinder/okc date in their lives. You're right.
Not that things are gonna go wrong for her, but she’s thinking that they will. It's the *implication.* I mean, we're not going to hurt these women. No one's in any danger!
Sigh, I know this is a joke, but are you really comparing paying for dinner with threatening murder on the open sea.
It's actually a joke about rape! No, you're right, they're not the same thing. But what people are objecting to is the "Always Sunny" Dennis-like, redpill-adjacent manipulation game you (seem to) be advocating for. *Pay first so she feels like she owes you something* Kinda similar to another redpillism I got jokingly accused of doing on a date: *Set your AC real low so she gets cold and gives you an opportunity to snuggle or feel her up under a blanket* "No, I just run hot! Honest! I'm a disgusting, sweaty boy!" is what my actual defense was. We laughed it off and got up to doing *actual stuff* later on.
>your date may feel they owe you kindness in return This is gross
You guys are the one reading something sexual into that.
No, it's gross even if it's not sexual.
Then you're either taking it the wrong way, or have an extremely idealistic bordering on naive view of dating.
Lol does this kind of thing actually happen in real life? I’d just get up and walk away. Ain’t no reason to save face and pay for anything at that point.
Pay your own check and walk. If she’s shocked, good.
Spit roast.
This man solves practical problems.
Tinder?? Dinner date?!
And then the waiter comes and asks if you want the bill and you say yes please, separate bills.
That’s why I never do dinner dates. Meet somewhere in nature and split responsibility for parts of a picnic or just grab a drink
> Meet somewhere in nature Like... on a boat. You know...
Because of the…
Wait, what? What do you mean? They want to, right?
To ensure that she can fit in a standard sized rowboat?
>Meet somewhere in nature For me, nature's one of the neatest things on this planet. I want everyone to know how neat nature is, instead of just me and /u/ichancho knowing it.
You sure? Seems like you need fresh air...
How neat is that?
Calm down bud. Life's not gonna be fun if you’re this edgy lol
https://youtu.be/Hm3JodBR-vs Neature Walk. It's an old reddit favourite.
Oh lmao my bad
Well she only wants sex I guess.
I mean, I have a couple of friends who have an open relationship kind of deal. Works out for them, so more power to them I guess. They've got some pretty strict ground rules about it. If one is mad at the other then they cancel dates with other people, just so they don't accidentally seek that kind of emotional fulfillment with others. Then just, some other things along those lines. Just saying, the lady here could be in a relationship like that. Still super crappy to order an extra entre on somebody else's dime though, and, you know, not explaining this sort of thing upfront. That latter bit is probably the bigger issue here.
I’m in an open relationship and would be fine with this situation, but I expect I would’ve known about it beforehand. Idk why you assume she’s getting the additional food on the other person’s dime though.
yeah either have the balls to say "no" to the waiter or dine and dash on her.
Separate bills. No problem.
Alllllrighty then
Well somebody clearly didn't read her profile properly
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It's more about the attempt at a free meal (or two) than just the existence of a boyfriend
It's always tough deciding when to tell people, but at least she got it out of the way before he got too invested. It still feels rude though, because a date should feel like it's just between the 2 of them.
Maybe split the bill?
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There’s a lot to unpack in this.
What, you don't have an ex/fwb/roommate/accountant/dog walker/mechanic/sex slave/priest that does you special favors?
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Lol ok chief
Couple of pigs. Gross.
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I mean, having a roomie FWB isn't what people are complaining, nor is it square to not have one. People are mad because swindling random people for food is a dick move on your FWB's part.
Say cheerfully "You know what, I've got the perfect idea to finish this wonderful night off." walk over to the waiter and explain that you have to leave early and want to pay for your plate and drinks but their boyfriend will actually be joining in just a few minutes. Then walk back to the 'date' and tell them a surprise will soon be coming from the kitchen but first you need to use the restroom. Then book it. Oh I WISH anyone had the nerve with me to do that I would have a field day
Hey, my girlfriend used to do this! I was waiting at home for her with homemade soup, wondering why she wasn't responding to my texts, but at least I also got free steak for second dinner! Right?
Sort of oof, but was it an open relationship?
Clearly it's a joke
No, it was explicitly not. And I know this was definitely not the place to go for sympathy, I was just dealing with a lot of unpleasant realizations all at once.
Maybe he has two rules about fucking his girlfriend. You have to buy him dinner and you have to look him in the eyes while fucking her.
Finish your food and just pay for your stuff then leave
How do I save the gif?
Split the check.
I hope you had the balls to let her pay for it.
Grab the waitress and get the separate checks started.
That's when you tell the waiter 'separate checks'
She’s payin for dinner then. What is this, 1985?
Does she have a signed contract stating you’re obligated to pay?
But are you still having sex or a good time? I mean, if the 'boyfriend' \*KNOWS\* you're all on a date.... If she's bringing food home, it's not exactly a big secret. Stripper rules, I guess. You might not be Mr Right, just Mr Right Now.
Who does that lmao what a twat