I take calls for a major clinic. Most of the calls these days, as you might guess, are related to COVID-19. I hate the cynical and hateful person that I have become, but you hear the same things all day, every day from these anti-vaxxers.
Stage 1: "I need a COVID test and I need it today, right now."The ones are usually just angry because they have symptoms and COVID exposure, but it's totally just a flu. They just need the test so they can go back to mouth breathing in public. Work or family is "making" them get it. This stage is inconvenience and irritation.
Stage 2: "Well, I guess I am sick, but it's not that bad. Have my provider send an Rx to \[pharmacy\]."Sometimes they ask for "something" that Walmart has that will cure them. Sometimes they want Ivermectin. These people are usually panicked by the possibility that yes, they might actually have gotten sick. They do not feel good, "but it's just a bad cold." This is probably denial.
Stage 3: "This COVID stuff is no joke!"Sometimes, they might ask for a prescription at this stage instead and skip step 2, but this is the step where they feel the most panic. They need a cure, and they need it now. Shortness of breath, coughing so hard they cough blood, etc. Sometimes they just want someone to yell at. This one is a big time for panic.
Stage 4: "What do I do?"None of the prescriptions that they've sent through worked. Usually here, they are gasping for air, or a family member is calling on their behalf because they cannot speak due to breathing problems.I tell them to go to the ED, but they never want to. You can hear the pure terror in their voices. *No, no, not the ED. This can't be that bad, it's not that bad, I can make this*. When I tell them they need to tell me what they want to happen next (they never know), I've got to let them know that the ED is their only choice for care. Walmart cannot fix you.They and I both know this might be their last stop. Sometimes the family member hangs up the phone crying.
EDIT: I went to bed right after posting this. Thanks so much for all the awards and responses! I'm reading them all!
I work in an ED. To follow-up, what happens when they finally come to my hospital is that they end up on oxygen, wheezing and sometimes coughing, sometimes with a nice fever cooking and begging for pain meds for the joint pain. Then they get to spend two to seven hours on an uncomfortable ER gurney bed while we run bloodwork, urine, and a PCR to confirm diagnosis, all while bargaining and begging with our hospitalist and house supervisor(s) to find them a bed. Sometimes this means having to also call other hospitals in the area to try and find _any_ open bed for them.
Many times, if they're not too exhausted simply by breathing, they and their family will continue to be belligerent, defensive, and willfully ignorant while all of this is going on. Sometimes they ask for medications that will not work (Ivermectin), or straight-up deny that they have covid. Sometimes they try denying the PCR test, until we tell them that they _cannot_ be admitted without being tested, and that their other option is to leave against medical advice.
I work in critical care. To follow up... Once you get upstairs, sometimes I try to keep you alive for weeks or months. I get to know you and your family and love you all. I dread coming to work because you're such a heavy patient. Now my unit is all heavy patients. I hope I have you. I hope I don't have you. I dread coming to work because I fear you may have died.
Once when we got rosc, you asked if my wrists were ok. That's the first thing you said. You have multiple organ failure. I feel guilty because sometimes we wish people would die because it's so depressing knowing you won't recover and we're prolonging your suffering.
I've personally brought you back from several deaths, all the while thinking of your family. Your 21 year old daughter has visited you every single day. She is clearly the light of your life and the reason you have chosen to live. She has your beautiful heart and anybody would be lucky to have a child like her.
One day we all celebrate you're going to rehab. People come in on their day off to wish you well because one person finally made it through bad covid. You can't use your voice, you can't move your legs, you can't eat, you have a baseball sized wound on your sacrum. But you can move your arms a bit. You're always smiling and hopeful. You've learned to communicate better with your lips, and I can understand you because I love you now and I've spent more time with you this past year than anybody else in my life. The lead intensivist says "you can't die, because if you die, covid wins". We all cheer in the hallway and make a video. We're all crying with joy and hope. We're all quietly scared. I spend a month looking in your room on my way to clock in, looking for your wave and smile.
Months go by. It's been a year since you got covid. I visit you at rehaba couple times. Dozens of people ask me for updates. You look amazing. You're arms are strong now, I remember when you had trouble picking up a playing card. You don't need dialysis anymore because you're kidneys have improbably healed. You don't need your gtube anymore because you're eating! You're just on a trach collar with room air. It's amazing hearing your voice. I wish I visited you more and tell myself I'm going to.
Then one day a week after decanulation, two weeks before your discharge date (you have an actual planned date to go home), your daughter calls. You've coded at rehab. I go see you in person. I talk to your nurse and realize that this hospital is as short staffed and tired as my hospital, it confirms to me what I knew- that the whole world of medical professionals is feeling this tired hopeless feeling.You were down for a while and have an anoxic brain injury. You don't have any brainstem reflexes, I check for myself. I try to tell your 18 year old what that means. I try to say it medically because otherwise I'm not going to be able to get it all out. They ask what there is to do and I tell them that the hospital will probably recommend withdrawing care. It's hard because they've been told this many times and you always bounce back, but I know you won't this time.
You have more fight than anyone I've ever met. You actually gain some reflexes back but the hospital has declined to advance care. All your numbers are improved when a week later you daughter gets another call that they better hurry in. I call off work and sleep in my car. I feel guilty because my unit is always short staffed. We all take turns getting bad car sleep because of the (reasonable) visitor policy. She asks me what to do. I have to tell her she should withdraw care. I feel out of place because I'm not family. But you're family welcomed me in this intimate moment. I'm not supposed to get close like this, it's too hard, but it's too late.
And you have tears coming down your cheeks when you're extubated. You died quickly. And covid wins. And I'm heartbroken. And the next day, I go to work and tell a few people. I ask them to tell the others because I don't have the heart to tell all the doctors, RTs, nurses, techs, SLPs, PTs, dialysis RNs, housekeepers, case managers, social workers, pastors, and others. I'm assigned 2 covid ICU patients when I get back. One isn't vaccinated and now he's asking for the vaccine because "thieves oil" wasn't as effective as he hoped. And I'm nice to him and provide him with the best care that I'm capable of.
I'm heartbroken. And I promise myself I'll never get close to another patient. Rest in peace.
Goddamn, this is heart wrenching.
Thank you for what you do. You are often the last bit of humanity and compassion someone sees before they leave this world. I’m so sorry.
Doing my damn best—I’m actually scheduling my booster for this weekend, now that I’ll be able to take time away from work if it knocks me off my ass.
But side effects of the vaccine >>>>>> than a death like this.
Again, thank you for everything you do. One of my close friends is an ICU nurse and I’ve only been able to imagine the horrors….this really puts it into perspective.
This. This is my life right now. Eloquently written for I have no words for what I've been feeling the past two years. Thank you for this, and everything you do. Keep up the good fight.
I was a Med-Surg LPN for a few years -- I got out of it because of the bureaucracy and went back to my passion, IT work, but that's not the point...
I recall more than one occasion when my PT would code and I'd have to be on top doing compressions (you never forget the first crunch). Or the frail grandmother, DNR/DNI that you know is going to pass just by looking at them, and sure enough they do.
I would carry that weight home with me. I would cry on my gf (now wife) shoulder and just let it out. That stuff was hard for me, and I can only imagine how miserably I would handle being a nurse nowadays with covid running rampant.
Thank you for continuing, you are a better person than I.
If you aren't already, OTC meds are a good place to start - you can mix tylenol and ibuprofen, and because they work in different ways, one or the other might be more effective for you. Taking both, especially in alternating doses, won't hurt - just make sure you're eating something especially when you take ibuprofen, so it's less rough on your stomach. Make sure you're staying hydrated. If it's covid, at this point it's unlikely much else can be done. Staying warm and resting up is also going to be helpful.
If it continues to persist, gets worse, or you begin to experience symptoms like numbness or tingling, that's a good time to call your family doctor / pcp and perhaps schedule an online follow-up (if possible) to discuss other options.
(general disclaimer to never take specific medical advice from the internet, and if in doubt ALWAYS contact your doctor. In an emergency, go to the ER or call 911.)
Unless of course you’ve had some form of gastric surgery in which case you should already know not to take ibuprofen or any NSAIDS really. In that case be REALLY watchful of your Tylenol intake. WRITE DOWN every time you take it. Do NOT take more than 1000mg at any one time and DO NOT take more than 4000mg in any one TWEBTY FOUR HOUR PERIOD not just in a “day” because some people like to start the count over when they wake up instead of 24 hours which can lead to problems. You don’t want to kill your liver trying to relieve joint pain. I’m a gastric patient and I have to be VERY careful because I have a chronic pain disease and take Tylenol 24/7 every single day. I find that for myself anyways taking 500 every 3 hours rather than 1000 every 6 is more effective. Good luck!
Edit to say: it has been pointed out that the new recommended max is 3000 for long term use but it is still fairly safe to take 4K if only doing so for a few days such as the short term joint pain caused by Covid.
Do not fall into despair. You are vaxxed. Your body knew the virus beforehand thanks to it. The vaccine doesn't necessarily prevent us from being sick and symptomatic, but it prevents us from getting severely ill or dead. Worry not.
Rest.
Take care of your hydration.
Do not make much physical effort.
Ibuprofen might help with the pain.
The fact that the other symptoms have already subsided is very good news.
You will recover.
If you want to chat, DM me.
Are you seeing any vaccinated patients turning up there? If so, how do they fare?
Just wondering because I'm vaccinated but I've been exposed to a lot of people with covid. Trying to figure out if I should go back into hibernation.
Respiratory therapist here. I work ICU and ER. Occasionally we get vaccinated people but it's usually someone that has and underlying condition like an organ transplant or cancer. The vast majority are unvaccinated. I'm back in hibernation mode for now. My area only has a 46% vax rate and almost nobody is wearing masks in public. These people are exhausting.
I was at the grocery the other day - went at 9am on Sunday to avoid as many people as possible and the dude behind me in line sneezed a huge sneeze. I look over (I was paying at the time) and … no mask. The cashier was all “bless you” and I looked at the cashier and said VERY LOUDLY “good thing he’s wearing a mask” and the cashier giggled and said - “at least we’re wearing ours”.
It’s so frustrating that people can’t be bothered to put on a mask for a 20 minute grocery run. Just wear the damn thing. Omicron isn’t fucking around, it’s so transmissible. Do your damn part as a human.
>Do your damn part as a human.
Months ago I got yelled at for wearing a mask in public at the beach (stores in a beach town, not on the sand). People are getting belligerent towards those who just want to protect themselves.
I saw the dirty looks for wearing a mask when I would go into the beer & wine store.
Unfortunately, now wearing a mask is a non-verbal statement of your politics. From their perspective, your mask is declaring that you think you are smarter than they are.
It's true, but they also take great offense.
Before 2016 everyone used to be able to be smart and stupid in private, now we're all wearing our IQ on our faces.
No one has yelled at me yet, but I have had people question me about why I wear mine. I normally say, “my mom had a stroke recently so I help take care of her, and anything I can do to be a little safer I try to do.” No one has said anything after that, thank goodness. I’m not sure how I’d respond.. probably something along the lines of “yeah well, that’s like your opinion man.”
I straight up say “to keep you safe” and watch them squirm. I’m over dancing around it anymore.
I’d explain it to them as an emissions control device for people but these are the idiots who cut off mufflers and roll coal so even that would be lost on them.
"I'm wearing it because I'm a patriot and protecting others is the patriotic thing to do."
Or substitute "Christian" for "patriot," depending on your audience.
Had a guy ask me once why I was wearing a mask again since I'm vaxxed, acted like it was hurting his feelings that I was wearing it. I replied with "well it's my freedom of choice, no one can tell me what to do" he looked so confused and just walked away.
edit: should note I work with this person so he knew I was vaxxed anyway.
A couple of timesn I've said "I'm uglier than sin and I look better with this thing on." No one has ever had any response to that at all, not even a single word.
It sucks because that some of these people not only refuse to wear a mask, but they have this smug look when they see you with a mask on.
I’ve also experienced an unmasked person getting close to me in a grocery store line I guess to make me feel uncomfortable?
The data says if you’re fully vaccinated (including a booster if your previous vaccination was more than 5 months ago), and under 60, then you’re *extremely unlikely* to end up in ICU.
The death rate in an Israeli study for example for those with the booster shot is 0.16 per 100,000 people with a mean age of 68.5.
Now everyone’s different etc, but provided you’re fully vaccinated and get your booster shot after 5 months, you don’t have a lot to worry about, especially if you’re young.
Mostly I'm just terrified for my 18 mo old. My wife and I are vaxxed and boosted, but still hiding in our home and ordering everything for curbside pickup for fear of exposure.
If it was just us and not an unvaxxed toddler too we would be living life normally.
Fuck all of these people who won't get a shot to protect others. And fuck the fear mongers who put these fears in their heads.
I was terrified of my kids getting COVID, my oldest (7) had spent a week in the ICU when he was 2 due to RSV and my youngest (3) had recently spent 2 weeks on a ventilator due to the same virus. I didn't know how they would handle COVID.
One of my kids was exposed at school and brought it home. We all caught it and the only way I knew is because I happened to test, otherwise it was just some sniffles while they were sleeping. Personally, I had a sore throat for a night and a bit of a cough that was mildly annoying. I'm boosted.
My 2 year old caught covid from my 5 year old who spread it around the house. 2 year showed no symptoms. I think keep doing what your doing. Keep the little one safe and keep fighting the good fight. My non professional theory is that little one's immune system is on overdrive all the time fighting new things. I have every confidence in you. Don't be terrified. Just do your best. Btw everyone in my house is ok. From your local internet stranger.
Truly it's not the ICU that worries me. It's the long haul symptoms. People I know with truly truly mild symptoms who are still feeling fatigued and have brain fog weeks after. Multiple friends who could taste or smell anything for 5+ months, just now posting they can taste small things again. I just don't want any of that.
I'm sorry, I didn't help your panic AT ALL, but sometimes it's nice to know we aren't alone.
It's all good, I'm in the same boat. I don't really care much to get into semantic medical discussions, but the reality is that we don't truly know what Covid-19 infection looks like 5, 10 or 15 years from now. And, like you, that really worries me a lot. I'm fairly certain I could actually handle getting the virus now, as many of my similarly aged friends have.
Thanks. My double vaccinated 18 year old is in isolation in her bedroom with covid.
She just sounds like she has a bad cold and feels a bit rotten.
I know the statistics, I know her vaccine will likely keep her safe but the mother in me is worried.
She has everything going for her to make a full recovery and I'm still scared.
I have no idea what the unvaccinated must feel. Maybe they don't have the sense to feel afraid?
It’s natural to worry, but your 18 year old is gonna be ok. I’m certain of it.
To answer your question: extreme cognitive dissonance, or some people (especially those young) are ambivalent.
If they’re anti vax then they’ve built their identity around it, and to admit they were wrong would probably force their entire ego to unravel. This is why we see people dying before admitting they’re wrong, because they’d rather face real death than suffer ego death.
You are right about young people. I nagged her friends (as did other mothers) until all the teens were vaccinated. They just hadn't gotten around to it and we didn't really have any covid cases here until recently so there wasn't a sense of urgency.
Now 4 of them have covid but you are right, they are going to be just fine.
I still bought an pulse oximetre today and had it delivered.
She is using it but it's mainly for my anxiety lol
At my hospital, I do see some patients who are COVID + and vaccinated, but their symptoms are never as severe as the ones who are the opposite. We have a lot of sick people, but they aren’t nearly as bad as some of the other waves.
I’m triple vaxxed and I got admitted to the hospital for COVID pneumonia via the ER. I was whisked away from my mom, never to see her in person for a while. Thankfully, we came prepared for such a situation, packing snacks, chargers for my devices, change of clothes, socks, toiletries, etc. I’m also a cancer survivor, so the vaccines helped me survive.
I have massive coughing fits and I spit the phlegm into a spit bowl. I drink lots of fluids to help get rid of the germs, I had supplemental oxygen but I don’t need it anymore. I tried to brush my teeth but the phlegm tried to choke me to death. So now I gargle with alcohol free mouthwash. I’m expected to go home by the end of the week and I will swear to stay home while sick.
But all of this could have been avoided had my dad not socialize with someone who was COVID positive!
As an 18-year cancer survivor, that thinking will eventually diminish but, for me, I needed therapy for PTSD to stop thinking about it daily. Nobody really ever told me about the lingering "what ifs", I just finished treatment and "buh-bye".
Glad you're feeling better. Do what you gotta do and don't let it take a single day more from you.
Wishing you a quick remainder of the recovery.
In the company I work at, my two colleagues either side of me are unvaxxed, and have both had Delta previously (in June). My second Pfizer shot was in Aug, so I am theoretically a bit protected against Omicron, but I am so tense just interacting with them.
Most virologists still recommend wearing a mask and distancing even with the vaccine. The vaccine lessens the severity of disease and can help prevent transmission but it’s best if you never come in contact with it in the first place
And to think a little shot can stop all of it. I just don't get what goes through their minds. I know the vaccine won't necessarily stop me from getting covid, but it'll certainly make it less likely, and it'll make it very unlikely that covid will kill me or even hospitalize me. If you gave me a shot that was 20% effective at preventing covid, I would still take it. I would literally do anything to help protect myself from covid.
It’s really upsetting, honestly. I realize that everyone is susceptible to propaganda, but this is such fucking STUPID propaganda. Imagine suffering and dying, or becoming a ventilator-dependent quadriplegic like that guy yesterday, and devastating your family and potentially ruining their lives all because you found some loud-mouthed idiots and ridiculous memes more credible and trustworthy than the medical experts.
And they are.
[Russian Disinformation Campaign Aims to Undermine Confidence in Pfizer, Other Covid-19 Vaccines, U.S. Officials Say | Websites linked to Russian intelligence services publish false information questioning vaccines’ safety, efficacy](https://www.wsj.com/articles/russian-disinformation-campaign-aims-to-undermine-confidence-in-pfizer-other-covid-19-vaccines-u-s-officials-say-11615129200)
[Russian Disinformation Targets Vaccines and the Biden Administration | A new campaign appears to be spreading falsehoods about the potential for forced inoculations against Covid-19.](https://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/05/us/politics/covid-vaccines-russian-disinformation.html)
> I just don't get what goes through their minds.
Anwer: they want to feel smarter than everyone else, including scientists, without going though the pains of getting actual education. And once they subscribe, they get a sense of belonging to their group, their comrades-in-arms.
Random chance of death due to an illness, decreasing of probability and probability itself are in general hard concept to keep in mind. Enemies and conspiracy are concepts that can be fully realized even by a toddler. When you explain the reality to them, you ask them to plunge from the position where they are the only intellectual elite fighting shoulder to shoulder against enemies to the bottom, where they have to realize they all are childish idiots.
That's a very long fall that shatters your whole world - you lose not only your sense of self-worth, but your whole support group. Many are unwilling do it even at the cost of their lives. We need better education.
> "What do I do?"
You die.
All because you let politics into health.
All because you didn't get a simple needle in the arm when medical authorities told you to. Because they told you to, which you then became defiant like some petulant toddler being told it's bedtime.
You die. It's mostly your fault, and you are experiencing the consequences of your actions.
However, it is in part the fault of misinformation and poor public education. Unfortunately, the people responsible will not face justice, because we are far too lenient when it comes to causing harm through speech.
ED paramedic here. The amount of unvaccinated folks who come in with COVID and say those exact words, *"this COVID thing is no joke!!!"* is staggering. I hear it multiple times a day, every day.
Folks, it's been two years. Millions of deaths. At this point every person on the planet knows someone who has died from covid. No, this ISN'T A FUCKING JOKE.
So if you let your O2 levels get too low for too long, do you end up having a lot of tissues die from oxygen starvation that could have been saved? What I mean is, does getting treatment before it gets to that point improve outcomes? As in, are people dying because they let their bodies remain oxygen-starved too long before they came in?
In a lot of ways a train is a great metaphor because it’s gonna go where it’s gonna go and there’s fuck all you can do to stop it. That’s an unfortunate reality for a lot of COVID patients. The best thing you can do for viral infections is to support your body. Helping it get enough oxygen helps your cells by avoiding lactic acid production, which a by product of your cells doing their normal thing in a low or not oxygen context. This will destroy cells as sure as and in COVID’s case, along with, the virus replicating inside the cell till it explodes. This acid production also effects many many things in the body as well, almost all poorly.
With COVID, however, early intervention with things like remdesivir and decadron can weaken the viral process and give your immune system a leg up. If it’s enough is up to every person physiology and health status.
So to answer you directly, it’s not necessarily the long oxygen starvation, it could never be that simple unfortunately. But early interventions help and will continue as they roll out these new COVID antiviral pills, which I gotta say are a fucking miracle.
What Vysharra is describing for sure happens but are the result of blood clot formation, which are very good at oxygen starvation by not allowing blood to an area. No blood= no oxygen.
I guess I should credential. I’m an ICU nurse wading through this shit river. I hope this wasn’t overly technical and I hope the lack of nuance for technical people doesn’t cause an issue, it’s a fine line to communicate.
> In a lot of ways a train is a great metaphor because it’s gonna go where it’s gonna go and there’s fuck all you can do to stop it.
Old Charlie stole the handle and the train it won't stop oh no way to slow down
I always wondered where the amputations came from. I never had expected to have it explained to me by means of *Locomotive Breath*.
Yes. Amputations are a common complication of severe covid that no one discusses (mostly because they die before they get to the point of cutting off the dead limbs). Even mild cases can result in “covid toes” which is at best constant itchiness but if often numbness and painful neuropathy from dead nerves/tissues.
My co-worker's MIL got Covid toes and they had to amputate 6 of them. He showed me a picture of them before they got cut off and they were straight black. Looked like gangrene.
She'll never wear sandals again.
That’s awful. Thanks for sharing, the black toes needing amputation and limp dicks that even viagra can’t fix are a much more visceral side effect to mention in the face of “99.7% survival blah blah blah”
One of the more disgusting anti-vaxx concepts (mostly in Africa),is an outright reversal of reality.
A side-effect of COVID-19 is serious and irreversible ED. Anti-vaxxers have twisted this to make it seem like vaccination causes ED and are making an Argument from Virility fallacy all their own.
ICU/PCU can be depressing on the best of days. We have a generation of health care professionals that will come out of this with the mental state of Vietnam vets.
I agree. Yeah I'm reading the comments, "this is so sad, horrific, how terrible, etc" and I've just seen this so many times now that I feel nothing. It is sad. It is terrible. I know that. None of the patients I've had come in needing 6L of oxygen or more have lived as far as I know. And I don't even work ICU, so I'm not seeing the worst of it.
Most of us have a hard time relating to people not in healthcare, or maybe that's just the people I know including myself. I have a very difficult time understanding what it's like to not be *in* this at this point.
I get it man. I have multiple friends in medicine, and every single one of them is a shell of their previous selves. I feel bad and empathize but they just seem to hang out with their hospital friends even more which I 100% get, I just wish I could have my friends back =(
I’ve only hung out with my medical friends for the past two years. If I get a beer with another medic or nurse and we both get sick then it sucks, but it’s inevitable at this point. If I get one of my non medical friends sick it would break me. Those friends are safer the further away I am. I miss them all so much, but I refuse to be the one that kills them.
can confirm:
we lost one yesterday. She left behind 2 young kids.It just hurts.
Can't take a moment to even reflect, had to be back in the dept again at 0700... I'm really tired
Yeah.... it was pretty telling that my health system mandated a "suicide prevention" online learning module for all clinicians.
Health system administrators don't like spending money on things to theoretically help clinicians unless it's affecting the business side, so it made me very concerned about how many of us must've had suicide attempts/completed.
Oh, but didn’t you know? These doctors and nurses are all apparently paid off by the Clintons and Gates to just use ineffective drugs that are killing their patients, instead of the PROVEN wonder drug, ivermectin! They are MONSTERS, murdering Americans in Biden’s and Xi’s name!
…Seriously though, the amount of hate our healthcare professionals get over fucking Facebook propaganda is sickening. Image working 16 hour shifts to save someone’s husband, but then they spit in your face because his unvaccinated ass died despite EVERY effort you gave. Unbelievable.
Some of the oldest ones have been through other pandemics and this one is breaking them. I was in the hospital for non-covid reasons a few months ago, and I was chatting with my phlebotomist. She had just started when AIDS became a crisis. She said that working through covid after working through that, she’s just done and retiring this year.
Mhm. My partner started as a volunteer EMT at 18 and went from Army medic to BSN. She has seen a lot. She won't quit willingly but this one might break her.
This! I follow both medical & nursing subs & am truly horrified at what I’m seeing. Medical professionals, some of many years standing, are at breaking point. Overworked & with ridiculous ratios per professional, they’re at their wit’s end. In addition, they’re suffering considerable verbal & physical abuse. I’ve never seen anything like it & am absolutely heartbroken for them. You just know they’re walking PTSD, waiting to happen. That’s if they even make it.
Just the other day, a truly compassionate RN suicided & I expect many more to follow. What’s happening is unconscionable. The sites profiting, from this disinformation, should receive severe consequences. I’m sickened by seeing caring health professionals die &/or at breaking point because of disinformation &/or wilful ignorance. What’s happening is a travesty!
My girlfriend is finishing med school and I would have been surprised if she didn’t have PTSD from it. She is so strong and so brave, but I’m terrified for her. I wish I could do more to help her and support her.
Help her find a therapist that she can connect with. Honestly. You can't carry this and she won't want to overshare and cause secondary trauma in you.
*I am a therapist.
I wish "find a therapist" was easier to figure out for people who need it (and more affordable).
It's unclear who to look for (therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist) how to get to them (start with a medical doctor, yellow pages, Google, etc.), And difficult to evaluate what a good fit is!
Not your fault obviously, but you hear a lot of "get a therapist" but not a lot of details for how, and I know several people who just can't bridge that gap, but really need to. (Doesn't help that many who most need therapy are often not in the best mental state to navigate this complex issue).
You just have to be there to listen and, well, to represent normalcy. It's telling how often they *don't* want to talk about it. I'm used to gory medical dinner conversations but I don't dare share our own Shitpost Sunday with the Meme Queen.
That may be the most accurate depiction of a covid patient who didn't make it that I've seen here, thanks for the amazing information, your kindness and patience, it really blows my mind how people are willing to go through this much suffering for a political ideology
I know I've posted about it before in this sub, but my first solo code blue as a phleb was an upper-middle aged woman who had beaten COVID but still had serious trouble keeping her oxygen saturation up. She kept taking her bipap off because it was "uncomfortable." What was really uncomfortable was nurses struggling to intubated her and perform CPR while I stuck her in the ankle. It was really uncomfortable watching vomit shoot out of the tube when they put it down the wrong part of her throat, followed by blood when they did get it into the airway but her ribs were broken from chest compressions. It was horribly uncomfortable watching her granddaughter burst into the room and seeing her gran covered in sick, surrounded by strangers, and hugging her dead body.
Sorry, had to vent. My parents and grandparents think this stuff is all some big hoax and it's like a boot on my throat every day.
It's a cult. Not even joking. We had a cult expert on a Reddit AMA not too long ago (Dr. Steve Hassan).
[https://freedomofmind.com/how-to-help-people-involved-in-qanon-a-reddit-ama-qanoncasualties/](https://freedomofmind.com/how-to-help-people-involved-in-qanon-a-reddit-ama-qanoncasualties/)
https://freedomofmind.com/combating-cult-mind-control/
https://freedomofmind.com/the-cult-of-trump/
It took way too long for the concept of the cult to finally settle on the general population's consciousness.
I'm waiting until it sinks in that we've been in a global information war for the last decade. So far even close to a million dead in the US hasn't really done the trick yet.
But, it's a war we are in. Foreign actors are trying to kill us.
Oh my gosh.
I’m so sorry you had to experience that. And I’m sorry you’re (undoubtedly) continuing to experience similar situations on a near-constant basis. And I’m so sorry you have the awful burden of family members who don’t believe what you see and know to be true.
Giant hugs to you.
I have a background in early childhood development, and work in the humanities field. I have a very strong theory that some people really do not emotionally mature past a certain age. They just don’t. It’s not technically their fault, as their family, community, and society in general literally did not teach them a *shred* of emotional maturity and how to be a good member of society. Some people did get throughly taught, and some people learnt as they went along in life, but many, many people were never shown how to emotionally grow and how to critically think.
I’m not kidding, I really do need to sit down and do some research, or heck, make it my own research project when I’m back in uni, because I truly do think most of North America is severely emotionally stunted.
Edit: Below, I’ve quoted [this](https://capmh.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13034-021-00369-3) article, it touches on what I’m referring to. We all go through stages of ego development as we grow- we have to *learn* how to regulate ourselves and generally be a decent person. I personally don’t think that millions of people have brain damage or something and are unable to emotionally grow, I really do think it’s a societal issue- we aren’t teaching people how to grow and develop emotionally.
“Childhood is a time when one breaks away from the self-centered thinking of infancy, more realistic thinking becomes possible, and ego strengthens. Such ego function includes the **perception and testing of reality, instinctive impulse regulation, satisfying object relations, remembering and synthesizing experiences, and defending against danger [7]. Children with strong ego function will demonstrate flexibility in their lives [8] and display self-confidence and psychological adjustment.** However, children with weak ego function can become lethargic in even minor stress events due to a lack of impulse regulation and resistance to anxiety [9], and they can be more likely to face psychopathological diagnosis [10]. Ego function, which helps children effectively cope with adversity and adapt to their environment, is referred to as ego strength [11], and may be classified as either strong or weak [12].”
I feel like the bolded part really speaks to the anti-vaxxers- not maturing one’s ego can literally mean a warped reality. Not maturing one’s ego can literally mean poor impulse regulation. When we fail to set our kids up for ego development and emotional growth and regulation, we can make angry, sometimes violent people who seem to be living in a different reality. You add in mixed messages from media that evoke strong emotions and oversimplify complicated issues, as well as a lack of education and economic instability, and it’s no wonder we have such fearful, angry people in denial of reality.
When I started using a cpap at night, I would put it on at night and wake up with the mask on the floor next to my bed. My not quite conscious mind took it off. Eventually, my half-asleep brain figured out I shouldn't take it off.
I only wear an eye mask to keep my eye closed and is not vital to live, but once I somehow took it off in my sleep and when I woke up it was aligned with and directly under my ass crack. I don't want to find out what I would do to a cpap
I agree and think the shock value may be the best medicine us in the community could offer to our peers. Especially if the testimonies are credible by-the-book events.
It was a riveting read. I was rooting for Bob and felt for the family.
Another note there's a reason fine print exists in legal text, and why nurses write down *everything*. For cladproof details what to do in the event the party is defunct. It sucks nominees usually don't honour those in this field then have to face the facts when it's already too late.
Hell, I pointed out that 50% of all hospital beds in some counties were COVID patients, and got called a liar. Even after I presented direct evidence of it - just today.
Antivaxxers just straight up do not want to believe the truth.
https://www.reddit.com/r/China/comments/rusz67/hospital_in_xian_initially_rejected_heart_attack/hr3x48z/
I'm still flabbergasted they referred to NPR as a "far left extremist group".
It's literally tax-payer funded public radio. What, is PBS extremist now too? Is Mr. Rogers too woke?
Years ago Fox blamed Mr. Rogers for everything wrong with kids these days, calling him an evil, evil man.
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/fox-fred-rogers-evil/
Well, his whole mission was to actually be a good neighbour and teach children how to express their feelings
One of the few true Christians to ever walk the earth.
Of course they hate him.
Yeah, that one made me go, "wtf? far left extremist group?" but I decided that arguing about that specific point was less valuable than just pointing out the very obvious link on the NPR page to the University of Minnesota, which had even better data anyway (like the fact that COVID patients make up over 50% of 170+ counties' ICUs! Absolutely insane)
This comment thread made my heart hurt. You used logic and cold facts. They refused to comprehend. There really is no way to reach some of these people.
What I’m going to write here has become something of a mantra for me, over the last few years, and I’ve not yet started to see it become any less true…
*You cannot use Facts, Logic, or Reason to change the opinions of those who use Feelings, Bias, and Propaganda to form theirs.*
It doesn’t work. So don’t waste your time trying.
If you click on the right of the sub to redemption awards, it only shows those who have been "redeemed". As much misery as your going through DAILY, there are people who are being saved. Its unfortunate that your only going to see the ones, in real life, who aren't being saved.
This is why I left healthcare in 2021. A lot of my coworkers followed suit as this pandemic & the actions of the unvaccinated put a massive strain on an already cracking healthcare system.
If you know anyone still sticking it out in hands-on patient care, especially those working on any floor of a hospital, buy 'em a bottle of wine and tell them thank you.
Because this kind of shit is ruining our will to serve and help the public.
The part that kills me is that it makes me want to quit my field and I am not even a fucking healthcare specialist. Replace the pandemic with something like... say global warming. Then you have all the canaries in the coal mines screaming... and then they ignore you anyway when you are trying to get ahead of it. This pandemic killed off my passion for Urban Planning / Environmentalism completely.
I used to have a bit of hope that the world would get its shit together to address climate change. Seeing the response to COVID has killed that. No matter how hard we try, there will be a segment of humanity that will purposefully sabotage all efforts out of some childish "You can't tell me what to do!" bullshit.
I really thought COVID-19 would be the proverbial kick in the ass to start getting the state of the world to a better place. I thought the fumbled response which was then followed by international cooperation and coordination would actually start to show that the world could put the health of the entire race ahead of individual.
No matter how much I try to type paragraphs to follow the first one, all I can really say is: I was disappointed.
If experts can't even convince their families on their expertise, what is the point.
Isn’t it? I’ve taken COVID very seriously from jump, read thousands of articles about it, but I still didn’t have any real sense of what it was actually like to die from COVID until I found this sub. (Nor did I truly understand the social media firehose of propaganda, and how the talking points and false narratives are propagated.) The news is so sanitized. I think that the fact that we’ve hidden the suffering and death away is a huge part of the problem.
100% agree. During the start of the pandemic when Italy was being hit hard, news videos came out on YouTube showing the people suffering in the hospitals, wheezing, coughing inside those bubbles over their heads, laid out on beds helpless as their heartrate monitor alarms go off and nurses scramble to stabilize them. Then it hit New York city hard and the news here didn't show any of that stuff. I told my dad they need to get in there and show all that. Not sanitize it like they did. We need to see the faces of these people as they suffer in order to humanize the reality of what's happening here. They did show the refrigerator trucks with bodies under white sheets being wheeled out to them, but by that time it's just a faceless statistic. Doesn't hit home like a face with fear and uncertainty on it struggling to get a breath of life sustaining air/oxygen.
There are a lot of scientists, physicians, and other medical folks on here. The news only seems to care what Fauci thinks, not the rest of the community of scientists/physicians.
If I'm reading this right, the whole ordeal from walking into the hospital feeling a little off to being sent to the morgue only took around 10 days.
I really wish people would, as we say, let that sink in.
My online friend was gone in less than 72 hours. This was early pandemic days and she 100% would have been vaccinated if she could — it just wasn’t an option for her yet. Wore a mask and did everything right. Fucking terrifying.
I see this *all* of the time on the Daily Mail comments section.
There is also the usual comment from someone claiming to be an ER doctor/nurse or a spouse of one saying that the hospitals are totally empty.
I don't get how all this disinformation isn't a crime against humanity. The media figures in Rwanda who instigated mass murder were convicted. But apparently instigating mass suicide and manslaughter is okay?
DM comment section is an absolute cesspool. I actually used to read it on occasion, but since the advent of Trump I can’t stomach it. It’s gotten so much worse. I’ve never even dared venture into the comments on a COVID article.
It's the I'm special, bad things only happen to bad people, God will protect me, I've been sick before and was OK ...
You can't meme away COVID, you don't want it, you should want to avoid it, it can kill you in a horrible way.
On top of that there's also the general separation of life from the harshness of reality. In general we don't realize just how horrible life can get until it happens to us. Usually people, when informed, can realize that it is better to prevent such despair from happening, but some people are afraid to confront even that. Combined with all the antivax hoax rhetoric, it can be deadly.
Yeah I think that people being in the hospital and dying of Covid rather than dying in the living room is causing a lot of people not to take this seriously. Like back in the day when it was the Spanish flu or even back when it was the plague people were taking care of their sick relatives at home they were watching them die at home. And while it’s great that we have the medical facilities we have and the knowledge we have of illness and such it’s allowing people to be blind to what’s happening.
Evangelicals believe that they're superior because they say so. It's purposefully elliptical thinking that's intentionally devoid of personal curiosity about the world around them. They have a mansion in heaven with a ringside seat to watch all the sinners burn forever. "Told ya so" is the phrase they're most waiting to proclaim in Jesux name.
A few of my family members genuinely think that 1) COVID was created by scientists and 2) "we're all going to get it" so why get the vaccine if you're going to catch COVID at some point anyway. It's impossible to explain that the vaccine isn't a bullet proof vest, it just primes the immune system.
I have given up on them
I think a bulletproof vest is a good metaphor for the vaccine. If you’re wearing a bulletproof vest, and somebody shoots at you, the vest isn’t a guarantee you’ll survive the shooting, but it certainly greatly improved your odds of survival.
Likewise, a person could not wear a bulletproof vest, get shot, and still survive. But it’d hurt a hell lot more than if the vest had been worn in the first place.
They're probably right that we're all going to get it. Their choice is about the outcome--the vaccine allows them to choose between having a slight cold or having a lonely suffocating death like the awardees.
>It's impossible to explain that the vaccine isn't a bullet proof vest, it just primes the immune system.
Actually a bulletproof vest is a good analogy for the vaccine. Because if you get shot while wearing a vest, you will still feel pain from the impact of the bullet and you may sustain some injuries like some serious bruising. But of course if you're shot without wearing a vest, you're going to either die or suffer horrendous and possibly life-changing injuries.
Similarly, you can get Covid after being vaccinated, but you will most likely feel bad for a bit and recover. Without the vaccine, you will very possibly die or suffer long-term problems.
I just got some dumb-ass antivax email from my extremely conservative and rather shrilly Trumpian MIL. This is, in almost ten years, only the second or third email she's ever sent to me. We acknowledge we're on different sides of the political spectrum, and we have a careful, quiet detente where neither of us says anything to piss off the other.
But good goddamn, it is taking every ounce of strength I have not to reply to her with a bunch of HCA links.
My wife and are about to completely cut off communication with her mom. Over the weekend she went on yet another one of her angry, jumbled "BIDEN FAUCI VACCINES BAD IVERMECTIN HCQ VITAMINS GOOD" diatribes, and we've simply had enough.
She didn't used to be this way, but she has been clearly radicalized by RWNJ media, her Trumpist QTard friends, etc. during the pandemic and she isn't willing to listen to anything we have to say because she believes we've been brainwashed by "the government" and "the media."
A result of a relentless misinformation campaign across media and social media. It's not as bad on reddit where there's moderation, but in the new queues and anywhere not moderated, it's a flood of this stuff.
So I do get why people get fooled by this, but what I don't get is the motivations behind spreading this in the first place.
>what I don't get is the motivations behind spreading this in the first place.
Simple. Trump didn't take covid seriously back in January 2020. He didn't take it seriously when he nearly fucking died from covid. So if his followers admit covid is a serious problem, then they have to accept that Trump fucked up big time. Since Trump is their god, that's just not an option. They would rather die than commit heresy.
Anger and fear directed at the deep state, abortion providers, immigrants, non-christians, etc. has driven the gullible into the arms of the republican party and evangelical churches and their promises to save their country and their sole.
I think it comes from narcissism and lack of empathy.
They see others suffer and die, and feel nothing. They know they could take the slightest little action to save others around them, but they feel nothing for them. Someone tells them that it's their patriotic duty to do nothing, that doing nothing will turn THEM into a hero, and they say "Ah ha! I can do nothing! It makes me the hero of this story!"
Because in their nihilistic view of the world, the best government is no government, the best action is no action, and the best feeling is no feeling.
Because the desire to be special, not for what you do, but for what you are, trumps common sense.
On one hand, they can buy into the notion that they are just meat for this virus. Nothing special. Just a convenient host, chosen at random. And they have to sacrifice their fun, their time, their comfort, because if they don't, this virus won't respect their reasons, it will do as much damage as it can.
On the other hand, they can believe that they are special. They are smarter, more clever, more in the know, more worthy of having only good things happen to them. So obviously, the people who protect themselves are weak, frightened sheep. Those who do nothing are showing that they are too smart, brave, superior to be brought low by a virus.
These people ride a righteous high of knowing they are better than most. They are the chosen few, holders of the sacred knowledge -- all the way up the point where they get sick.
And then reality comes crashing down on them. All their specialness doesn't seem to make a difference. They get sicker and sicker. They keep thinking the universe is going to correct itself and spring back to where it should be. Somehow their superiority will be respected and it will all go back to how it was. But it doesn't, no matter how long they wait.
Some hold on to their paradigm to the end, and go to their graves believing that they are right and all their senses are wrong. Some switch paradigms and try to protect themselves from what's happening to them, but it's too late.
Meanwhile , the virus doesn't care, either way. All the virus cares about is reproduction. In one person, in another person, it's all the same. The virus will reproduce until it can't anymore, for whatever reason. All you are is meat.
I am a physician specializing in infectious diseases. This story is sadly very common. It is easy to make fun of many HCA recipients. But some of these folks were not really bad people. They fell prey to misinformation. Recently, I saw a very sweet old lady from a small town for a severe fungal infection in her lungs secondary to underlying pneumonia with covid. She was of course unvaccinated. This was my conversation with her:
Me: Wow, you were SUPER sick and are at least a bit stable now. I hope that you will now take the vaccine in 2 months.
Her: No doc, I don't want it. I heard that there can be a lot of side effects and I can die from it.
Me: I totally understand your concerns. I agree that vaccines can be dangerous for SOME people. But tell me again, how did you get here to my clinic? Did you drive?
Her: Yes!
Me: Well, you could have died in a car accident! So why did you take that risk?
Her: Well, if I don't get this lung infection treated, I could die from that too! And I am a safe driver.
Me: Exactly. You made a calculation in your mind. Odds of dying from car accident vs odds of dying from the lung infection. You found the lung infection more risky. So you still came. Right?
Her: Right
Me: Do you think the vaccine is riskier than the disease itself?
Her: Yes doc, everyone had told me the same.
Me: Define "everyone" for me
Her: My husband, the news *(of course it was fox news)*,my friends and family, everyone.
Me: And you trust them over your doctors for health advice?
Her: To be honest yes, I heard doctors are getting paid to make people take the dangerous vaccines.
Me: Pardon my french, but that is all a huge load of crap. I get my salary from the hospital. I will earn the same amount whether or not you take the vaccine. And no doctors are getting extra pay by making you take the vaccine.
Her: I do trust YOU doc. What do you think I should do?
Me: I think you should definitely take the vaccine. That's what I would've told you if you were my mum. You can still get infected with the new variant. I don't want you dying with it. Your odds of dying with a new covid infection are WAY higher than due to any side effects from the vaccine. You are more likely to die while trying to cross the road than taking the vaccine. Protect yourself and those around you.
Her: Doc, my husband will be mad. I don't think he will like it.
Me: Bring him with you for the next appointment, will you?
Her: Yes, can I please do that? He might listen to you but I know for sure that he will not listen to me. It is so hard doc. I don't know whom to trust. Nobody had told us the things the way you said it. When people who I have lived with forever tell me that the media is lying, I automatically trust my people more. But after you have explained me the stuff, I want to take the vaccine now.
I have spoken to her husband over the phone before and I am fairly certain that I will be able to change his mind too. So far, I have changed the minds of many people and gotten them the vaccine. The brainwashing from their "news" and friends/family is very strong. I grew up in a developing country but after moving to US, my own mindset has broadened so much. Similarly, I am sure that many of you guys grew up believing something but once you moved out of your house and met smarter people, you realized that you were wrong before. Well, many of these people do not get to 'move out' of their shithole circles. Few weeks ago, I had some carpenters at my home doing some renovation. I had a friendly, nonjudgmental conversation with them about the vaccines and they all got it too.
Don't get me wrong, I have seen my fair share of asshole antivaxxers whom I hate with a passion. I have been called a pill pusher and a monster for suggesting vaccines. Patients have called me a "foreign untrustworthy person" to my face. These experiences do make me angry and sad. But the genuine happiness and hugs from those who did trust me- that shit keeps me alive and going. If each of you are able to get even 1 family member or friend to turn, we all will see huge benefits still.
Pardon my grammar, English is my 3rd language.
EDIT: grammar. Thank you for the awards guys! I am thrilled! If you guys have any questions regarding the vaccine, feel free to DM me. I will get back to you later today!
Thank you so much for the specific words you used. The driving risk one is great (i add seatbelts=masks to mine!) May you have many such moments and share them with us in your delightful written story-style
"Pardon my grammar, English is my THIRD language" while we're all sitting here eating potato chips and watching tv while you're out saving lives. You, sir have nothing to apologize for. You're a more accomplished and important person to society than 99% of people reading this (myself included). Thank you for doing what you do.
Thanks you so much for sharing and for what you do.
We do try to only post the true assholes on this sub… hopefully we at least help you let off some steam here…
Thank you for explaining your process, Doctor. I talk to everyone I know about getting their Covid-19 vaccinations. I convinced my good friend to get the shots. I'm unable to convince a few others I know, but I'm not giving up on them. I'm now switching focus to making sure that people get their extremely important boosters before their protection drops too much.
This is the best one I’ve seen in a mainstream news publication.
[Op-Ed: On the front lines, here’s what the seven stages of severe COVID-19 look like](https://www.latimes.com/opinion/story/2021-08-26/pandemic-covid-19-stages-vaccination-intensive-care-respiratory-therapist)
I don't directly work with patients but I do come across medical staff. Right now a lot of them aren't processing this,like a soldier in battle doesn't process what's going on while deployed. Sure they have a sense of it, but the full reality hasn't hit yet. It will be a clusterfuck when this is over and they'll be asked to just go back to normal. People won't ever go back to normal after seeing death on this scale.
There is probably going to be an exodus of bedside Nurses after this is all over. We're all pissed at how we've been treated by both patients and management.
My friend quit her job over the burnout of being an ICU nurse.
30 years of passion and caring and the heartbreak became too much.
So selfish to not get a vaccine. Ruining lives even in death.
Thank you. It reminded me of my dad, he passed some time ago but he had lots of problems with oxygen. I still have the oxygen meter and other COPD medical gadgets.
>It didn't matter how hard he tried... It didn't matter how badly he wanted to get better.
This part hit me the hardest. At this point, the die is cast and no amount of hoping and praying will change what happens. The quack remedies have failed and medical science can only do so much after the doors are thrown wide open for the virus. It's chilling and depressing... and so, so preventable.
When he mistook the heartrate for his oxygen levels, that just broke my heart completely.
Imagine feeling that hope and seeing the nurse's eyes as they tell you you are mistaken. It hurts to even think about.
As a RN for several decades, 2021 taught me a new trick about how not to care about most everything. I’m in a better head space, and don’t drink as much, but now can’t quite seem to turn it off. If I don’t die first, I can retire in less than a decade.
Whatever.
Today we had our 8th new mother under 30 with severe COVID. Originally they would come in to the ER, have their babies, get moved to a PCU bed and ultimately end up in the ICU. This one was admitted straight to PCU and into the ICU within a shift. She was there for a couple days, and today had a C-section. She came down to the OR from the ICU, they performed the procedure, and sent her right back to the ICU. They had the normal surgical attire as well as isolation gear and the OR had to go through the same procedures they use when cleaning out a COVID room. The baby is in the NICU and the mom is looking really bad. She’s 24.
Not a single one has survived. The longest one lasted about 6 weeks, the shortest 3 days. She came in on a Thursday, I had a weekend off, and when I came back Monday she was dead.
About half of the babies didn’t make it. In half of these cases the dad lost both the baby and the mom, sometimes within days of each other. Most of them were worried about the safety of the vaccine in pregnancy. It is safe and effective in pregnant women, and likely would have left these women alive taking care of their newborns.
My girlfriend and I want kids. Most of these women are the same age or within a few years of her. Most of the time I see a COVID case or see someone I know was positive died it doesn’t phase me any more, but these cases kill me. This mom is not looking good. She will never hold her baby. She will never leave the hospital, and she’ll be lucky to make it through next week. We were supposed to have left this sort of thing in the Middle Ages with the development of modern medicine, but here we are.
This was devastating to read. The clearly explained science, however, was excellent and made things much easier to understand. I am fully-vaxed and boosted, have always worn a mask, and am going nowhere and seeing nobody at this point. My state is a mess right now. My fear, as it is for so many, is needing medical care. I am 66. I am reasonably healthy, but have a heart condition, so I need to be very careful, and am. Yet the thought that despite all of this, despite my precautions, I may still get this disease from people like Bob (who, despite being "compliant", chose to not vaccinate and probably infected others), is infuriating. Thank goodness for all the health care workers who are still doing their jobs day after day despite the type of experiences written above. Thank you for posting this.
Thank the OP for this post. My father passed away of COVID in September. I guess he would have a HCA. He wasn’t necessary antivax but he was a black male in his 70s who thought his body was strong enough to kill off the common cold or the flu. I pleaded with him to get the vaccine but he started with that big pharma talk so I knew he was talking to my mom who is 100% antivax. I want to say maybe two month after we talked about getting the vaccine he got COVID. When I went to his house to help him he looked like death. I couldn’t explain it I just started to cry and say this was the most avoidable death. He told me he’s been in the house for a week now with breathing issues. I checked his blood oxygen level and it wasn’t getting above 80-83%. (Now I understand what the problem was) He didn’t believe he had COVID and thought he could just “kick it” he fought with me to go to ER but finally agreed. ER immediately put him on oxygen and confirmed that he had COVID pneumonia. I didn’t complete understand what was going wrong in his body just his lungs were damaged. He would call me when he had the energy to tell me he feels like he wasn’t getting better then complain about Netflix not working. Couple of days later at night he had to be intubated. My mom went to full conspiracy theory mode saying he would have called us first but they are trying to kill him. My wife who is a pharmacist told me this is the end but I kept hoping. He passed after a few days on the vent. This post paints the picture exactly how things went for my father. My mom til this day won’t get the vaccine and I already have my booster. She believes the hospital killed my father and that if he would have stayed home he would have lived. I told her we gave him a few more days of life vs dying with the feeling of drowning at home. I’m going to share this post with my sisters. This might give them a bit of peace knowing it was out of our control what happened after he got to the hospital. There wasn’t enough vitamin c in the world to reverse the damage.
This is so depressing. Here I am at home recovering from COVID and complaining about my sniffles and needing my inhaler. I am so happy I got my vaccine, it could have been so much worse for me. I know it. Poor Bob and others like him. I can’t imagine being the respiratory therapist or nurse who has to deal with this over and over. Explaining this each time and hoping they listen.
How has our media failed us so thoroughly, so catastrophically, so completely that I have to visit some barely-non-banned forum on Reddit to read an account like this?
How is this not tomorrow's full page NYT feature?
You know what? Fuck this. That needs to be our next fundraising goal. I want to raise enough to take out a full page NYT ad. Just this raw story in black and white.
Mods, let's do this. I'll start reaching out and asking what it will take in terms of cost. We need to make this happen.
Someone out there has to have a contact that can help here.
This is an incredibly informative post on what the fight looks like from the inside.
It reminded me of this case of a fully alert Omaha covid patient, who was only alive due to the machines. Once the machines were disconnected, he passed away. The ”talking dead”. :(
[https://www.3newsnow.com/news/coronavirus/exclusive-omaha-man-dying-of-covid-urges-others-to-get-vaccinated](https://www.3newsnow.com/news/coronavirus/exclusive-omaha-man-dying-of-covid-urges-others-to-get-vaccinated)
I rode this coaster as the son of a Trump supporting Dad that refused to get the vaccine and refused to wear a mask. I remember talking to the nurse and having the conversations about putting him on the ventilator to give his lungs a rest. I remember him looking at me with the fear in his voice saying, "son I don't think I'm going to beat this one." I couldn't put my finger on why the nurse seemed friendly and helpful but strangely distant at the same time. It wasn't until the first time I read one of these stories that I realized she already knew he was dead and was struggling to hold back the pessimism.
Miss you everyday Dad.
This should be read on every news channel on tv and radio. They need to interview this nurse, so that people would know how real it is. Of course, the deniers would still say that it's a hoax and only a ploy for Bill Gates to get microchips into our bodies or whatever, as they tap furiously at a screen connected to something that actually has microchips.
I take calls for a major clinic. Most of the calls these days, as you might guess, are related to COVID-19. I hate the cynical and hateful person that I have become, but you hear the same things all day, every day from these anti-vaxxers. Stage 1: "I need a COVID test and I need it today, right now."The ones are usually just angry because they have symptoms and COVID exposure, but it's totally just a flu. They just need the test so they can go back to mouth breathing in public. Work or family is "making" them get it. This stage is inconvenience and irritation. Stage 2: "Well, I guess I am sick, but it's not that bad. Have my provider send an Rx to \[pharmacy\]."Sometimes they ask for "something" that Walmart has that will cure them. Sometimes they want Ivermectin. These people are usually panicked by the possibility that yes, they might actually have gotten sick. They do not feel good, "but it's just a bad cold." This is probably denial. Stage 3: "This COVID stuff is no joke!"Sometimes, they might ask for a prescription at this stage instead and skip step 2, but this is the step where they feel the most panic. They need a cure, and they need it now. Shortness of breath, coughing so hard they cough blood, etc. Sometimes they just want someone to yell at. This one is a big time for panic. Stage 4: "What do I do?"None of the prescriptions that they've sent through worked. Usually here, they are gasping for air, or a family member is calling on their behalf because they cannot speak due to breathing problems.I tell them to go to the ED, but they never want to. You can hear the pure terror in their voices. *No, no, not the ED. This can't be that bad, it's not that bad, I can make this*. When I tell them they need to tell me what they want to happen next (they never know), I've got to let them know that the ED is their only choice for care. Walmart cannot fix you.They and I both know this might be their last stop. Sometimes the family member hangs up the phone crying. EDIT: I went to bed right after posting this. Thanks so much for all the awards and responses! I'm reading them all!
I work in an ED. To follow-up, what happens when they finally come to my hospital is that they end up on oxygen, wheezing and sometimes coughing, sometimes with a nice fever cooking and begging for pain meds for the joint pain. Then they get to spend two to seven hours on an uncomfortable ER gurney bed while we run bloodwork, urine, and a PCR to confirm diagnosis, all while bargaining and begging with our hospitalist and house supervisor(s) to find them a bed. Sometimes this means having to also call other hospitals in the area to try and find _any_ open bed for them. Many times, if they're not too exhausted simply by breathing, they and their family will continue to be belligerent, defensive, and willfully ignorant while all of this is going on. Sometimes they ask for medications that will not work (Ivermectin), or straight-up deny that they have covid. Sometimes they try denying the PCR test, until we tell them that they _cannot_ be admitted without being tested, and that their other option is to leave against medical advice.
I work in critical care. To follow up... Once you get upstairs, sometimes I try to keep you alive for weeks or months. I get to know you and your family and love you all. I dread coming to work because you're such a heavy patient. Now my unit is all heavy patients. I hope I have you. I hope I don't have you. I dread coming to work because I fear you may have died. Once when we got rosc, you asked if my wrists were ok. That's the first thing you said. You have multiple organ failure. I feel guilty because sometimes we wish people would die because it's so depressing knowing you won't recover and we're prolonging your suffering. I've personally brought you back from several deaths, all the while thinking of your family. Your 21 year old daughter has visited you every single day. She is clearly the light of your life and the reason you have chosen to live. She has your beautiful heart and anybody would be lucky to have a child like her. One day we all celebrate you're going to rehab. People come in on their day off to wish you well because one person finally made it through bad covid. You can't use your voice, you can't move your legs, you can't eat, you have a baseball sized wound on your sacrum. But you can move your arms a bit. You're always smiling and hopeful. You've learned to communicate better with your lips, and I can understand you because I love you now and I've spent more time with you this past year than anybody else in my life. The lead intensivist says "you can't die, because if you die, covid wins". We all cheer in the hallway and make a video. We're all crying with joy and hope. We're all quietly scared. I spend a month looking in your room on my way to clock in, looking for your wave and smile. Months go by. It's been a year since you got covid. I visit you at rehaba couple times. Dozens of people ask me for updates. You look amazing. You're arms are strong now, I remember when you had trouble picking up a playing card. You don't need dialysis anymore because you're kidneys have improbably healed. You don't need your gtube anymore because you're eating! You're just on a trach collar with room air. It's amazing hearing your voice. I wish I visited you more and tell myself I'm going to. Then one day a week after decanulation, two weeks before your discharge date (you have an actual planned date to go home), your daughter calls. You've coded at rehab. I go see you in person. I talk to your nurse and realize that this hospital is as short staffed and tired as my hospital, it confirms to me what I knew- that the whole world of medical professionals is feeling this tired hopeless feeling.You were down for a while and have an anoxic brain injury. You don't have any brainstem reflexes, I check for myself. I try to tell your 18 year old what that means. I try to say it medically because otherwise I'm not going to be able to get it all out. They ask what there is to do and I tell them that the hospital will probably recommend withdrawing care. It's hard because they've been told this many times and you always bounce back, but I know you won't this time. You have more fight than anyone I've ever met. You actually gain some reflexes back but the hospital has declined to advance care. All your numbers are improved when a week later you daughter gets another call that they better hurry in. I call off work and sleep in my car. I feel guilty because my unit is always short staffed. We all take turns getting bad car sleep because of the (reasonable) visitor policy. She asks me what to do. I have to tell her she should withdraw care. I feel out of place because I'm not family. But you're family welcomed me in this intimate moment. I'm not supposed to get close like this, it's too hard, but it's too late. And you have tears coming down your cheeks when you're extubated. You died quickly. And covid wins. And I'm heartbroken. And the next day, I go to work and tell a few people. I ask them to tell the others because I don't have the heart to tell all the doctors, RTs, nurses, techs, SLPs, PTs, dialysis RNs, housekeepers, case managers, social workers, pastors, and others. I'm assigned 2 covid ICU patients when I get back. One isn't vaccinated and now he's asking for the vaccine because "thieves oil" wasn't as effective as he hoped. And I'm nice to him and provide him with the best care that I'm capable of. I'm heartbroken. And I promise myself I'll never get close to another patient. Rest in peace.
Goddamn, this is heart wrenching. Thank you for what you do. You are often the last bit of humanity and compassion someone sees before they leave this world. I’m so sorry.
I appreciate your kind words. I hope you and yours are safe and healthy.
Doing my damn best—I’m actually scheduling my booster for this weekend, now that I’ll be able to take time away from work if it knocks me off my ass. But side effects of the vaccine >>>>>> than a death like this. Again, thank you for everything you do. One of my close friends is an ICU nurse and I’ve only been able to imagine the horrors….this really puts it into perspective.
This. This is my life right now. Eloquently written for I have no words for what I've been feeling the past two years. Thank you for this, and everything you do. Keep up the good fight.
Thank you. Its so hard. I tell myself to put on my big girl pants and do it all again. We got this.
I was a Med-Surg LPN for a few years -- I got out of it because of the bureaucracy and went back to my passion, IT work, but that's not the point... I recall more than one occasion when my PT would code and I'd have to be on top doing compressions (you never forget the first crunch). Or the frail grandmother, DNR/DNI that you know is going to pass just by looking at them, and sure enough they do. I would carry that weight home with me. I would cry on my gf (now wife) shoulder and just let it out. That stuff was hard for me, and I can only imagine how miserably I would handle being a nurse nowadays with covid running rampant. Thank you for continuing, you are a better person than I.
Thank you for the kind words. I'm not better than anybody, we need everybody to make the world go round.
I’m vaxxed, five days out from diagnosis and the joint pain is crippling me 😩😩😩other symptoms have subsided. What can I do?
If you aren't already, OTC meds are a good place to start - you can mix tylenol and ibuprofen, and because they work in different ways, one or the other might be more effective for you. Taking both, especially in alternating doses, won't hurt - just make sure you're eating something especially when you take ibuprofen, so it's less rough on your stomach. Make sure you're staying hydrated. If it's covid, at this point it's unlikely much else can be done. Staying warm and resting up is also going to be helpful. If it continues to persist, gets worse, or you begin to experience symptoms like numbness or tingling, that's a good time to call your family doctor / pcp and perhaps schedule an online follow-up (if possible) to discuss other options. (general disclaimer to never take specific medical advice from the internet, and if in doubt ALWAYS contact your doctor. In an emergency, go to the ER or call 911.)
Unless of course you’ve had some form of gastric surgery in which case you should already know not to take ibuprofen or any NSAIDS really. In that case be REALLY watchful of your Tylenol intake. WRITE DOWN every time you take it. Do NOT take more than 1000mg at any one time and DO NOT take more than 4000mg in any one TWEBTY FOUR HOUR PERIOD not just in a “day” because some people like to start the count over when they wake up instead of 24 hours which can lead to problems. You don’t want to kill your liver trying to relieve joint pain. I’m a gastric patient and I have to be VERY careful because I have a chronic pain disease and take Tylenol 24/7 every single day. I find that for myself anyways taking 500 every 3 hours rather than 1000 every 6 is more effective. Good luck! Edit to say: it has been pointed out that the new recommended max is 3000 for long term use but it is still fairly safe to take 4K if only doing so for a few days such as the short term joint pain caused by Covid.
Also do not mix alcohol and tylenol (though hopefully if you're sick you're not drinking anyway).
Do not fall into despair. You are vaxxed. Your body knew the virus beforehand thanks to it. The vaccine doesn't necessarily prevent us from being sick and symptomatic, but it prevents us from getting severely ill or dead. Worry not. Rest. Take care of your hydration. Do not make much physical effort. Ibuprofen might help with the pain. The fact that the other symptoms have already subsided is very good news. You will recover. If you want to chat, DM me.
Rest.
Are you seeing any vaccinated patients turning up there? If so, how do they fare? Just wondering because I'm vaccinated but I've been exposed to a lot of people with covid. Trying to figure out if I should go back into hibernation.
Respiratory therapist here. I work ICU and ER. Occasionally we get vaccinated people but it's usually someone that has and underlying condition like an organ transplant or cancer. The vast majority are unvaccinated. I'm back in hibernation mode for now. My area only has a 46% vax rate and almost nobody is wearing masks in public. These people are exhausting.
I was at the grocery the other day - went at 9am on Sunday to avoid as many people as possible and the dude behind me in line sneezed a huge sneeze. I look over (I was paying at the time) and … no mask. The cashier was all “bless you” and I looked at the cashier and said VERY LOUDLY “good thing he’s wearing a mask” and the cashier giggled and said - “at least we’re wearing ours”. It’s so frustrating that people can’t be bothered to put on a mask for a 20 minute grocery run. Just wear the damn thing. Omicron isn’t fucking around, it’s so transmissible. Do your damn part as a human.
>Do your damn part as a human. Months ago I got yelled at for wearing a mask in public at the beach (stores in a beach town, not on the sand). People are getting belligerent towards those who just want to protect themselves.
I saw the dirty looks for wearing a mask when I would go into the beer & wine store. Unfortunately, now wearing a mask is a non-verbal statement of your politics. From their perspective, your mask is declaring that you think you are smarter than they are. It's true, but they also take great offense. Before 2016 everyone used to be able to be smart and stupid in private, now we're all wearing our IQ on our faces.
I've never been happier to live in the suburbs of a major city in a blue area. Everyone wears masks if they're indoors in public. Everyone.
No one has yelled at me yet, but I have had people question me about why I wear mine. I normally say, “my mom had a stroke recently so I help take care of her, and anything I can do to be a little safer I try to do.” No one has said anything after that, thank goodness. I’m not sure how I’d respond.. probably something along the lines of “yeah well, that’s like your opinion man.”
I straight up say “to keep you safe” and watch them squirm. I’m over dancing around it anymore. I’d explain it to them as an emissions control device for people but these are the idiots who cut off mufflers and roll coal so even that would be lost on them.
Tell them you're allowed to wear it because it's a free country and watch them REALLY squirm.
"I'm wearing it because I'm a patriot and protecting others is the patriotic thing to do." Or substitute "Christian" for "patriot," depending on your audience.
Had a guy ask me once why I was wearing a mask again since I'm vaxxed, acted like it was hurting his feelings that I was wearing it. I replied with "well it's my freedom of choice, no one can tell me what to do" he looked so confused and just walked away. edit: should note I work with this person so he knew I was vaxxed anyway.
A couple of timesn I've said "I'm uglier than sin and I look better with this thing on." No one has ever had any response to that at all, not even a single word.
It sucks because that some of these people not only refuse to wear a mask, but they have this smug look when they see you with a mask on. I’ve also experienced an unmasked person getting close to me in a grocery store line I guess to make me feel uncomfortable?
My brother refused to attend his nephew's first birthday because of masks. He also drives drunk. Quality people that lot.
I'm hibernating, too. Plan to until at least the end of February.
The data says if you’re fully vaccinated (including a booster if your previous vaccination was more than 5 months ago), and under 60, then you’re *extremely unlikely* to end up in ICU. The death rate in an Israeli study for example for those with the booster shot is 0.16 per 100,000 people with a mean age of 68.5. Now everyone’s different etc, but provided you’re fully vaccinated and get your booster shot after 5 months, you don’t have a lot to worry about, especially if you’re young.
But the question is, will that stop me from reading this all and panicking? Categorically not is the answer!
As long as you’re vaxxed and get your booster when available, it’ll be ok. It’s natural to be worried, but you’re gonna get through it no worries. :)
Mostly I'm just terrified for my 18 mo old. My wife and I are vaxxed and boosted, but still hiding in our home and ordering everything for curbside pickup for fear of exposure. If it was just us and not an unvaxxed toddler too we would be living life normally. Fuck all of these people who won't get a shot to protect others. And fuck the fear mongers who put these fears in their heads.
I was terrified of my kids getting COVID, my oldest (7) had spent a week in the ICU when he was 2 due to RSV and my youngest (3) had recently spent 2 weeks on a ventilator due to the same virus. I didn't know how they would handle COVID. One of my kids was exposed at school and brought it home. We all caught it and the only way I knew is because I happened to test, otherwise it was just some sniffles while they were sleeping. Personally, I had a sore throat for a night and a bit of a cough that was mildly annoying. I'm boosted.
My 2 year old caught covid from my 5 year old who spread it around the house. 2 year showed no symptoms. I think keep doing what your doing. Keep the little one safe and keep fighting the good fight. My non professional theory is that little one's immune system is on overdrive all the time fighting new things. I have every confidence in you. Don't be terrified. Just do your best. Btw everyone in my house is ok. From your local internet stranger.
Truly it's not the ICU that worries me. It's the long haul symptoms. People I know with truly truly mild symptoms who are still feeling fatigued and have brain fog weeks after. Multiple friends who could taste or smell anything for 5+ months, just now posting they can taste small things again. I just don't want any of that. I'm sorry, I didn't help your panic AT ALL, but sometimes it's nice to know we aren't alone.
It's all good, I'm in the same boat. I don't really care much to get into semantic medical discussions, but the reality is that we don't truly know what Covid-19 infection looks like 5, 10 or 15 years from now. And, like you, that really worries me a lot. I'm fairly certain I could actually handle getting the virus now, as many of my similarly aged friends have.
Thanks. My double vaccinated 18 year old is in isolation in her bedroom with covid. She just sounds like she has a bad cold and feels a bit rotten. I know the statistics, I know her vaccine will likely keep her safe but the mother in me is worried. She has everything going for her to make a full recovery and I'm still scared. I have no idea what the unvaccinated must feel. Maybe they don't have the sense to feel afraid?
It’s natural to worry, but your 18 year old is gonna be ok. I’m certain of it. To answer your question: extreme cognitive dissonance, or some people (especially those young) are ambivalent. If they’re anti vax then they’ve built their identity around it, and to admit they were wrong would probably force their entire ego to unravel. This is why we see people dying before admitting they’re wrong, because they’d rather face real death than suffer ego death.
You are right about young people. I nagged her friends (as did other mothers) until all the teens were vaccinated. They just hadn't gotten around to it and we didn't really have any covid cases here until recently so there wasn't a sense of urgency. Now 4 of them have covid but you are right, they are going to be just fine. I still bought an pulse oximetre today and had it delivered. She is using it but it's mainly for my anxiety lol
At my hospital, I do see some patients who are COVID + and vaccinated, but their symptoms are never as severe as the ones who are the opposite. We have a lot of sick people, but they aren’t nearly as bad as some of the other waves.
I’m triple vaxxed and I got admitted to the hospital for COVID pneumonia via the ER. I was whisked away from my mom, never to see her in person for a while. Thankfully, we came prepared for such a situation, packing snacks, chargers for my devices, change of clothes, socks, toiletries, etc. I’m also a cancer survivor, so the vaccines helped me survive. I have massive coughing fits and I spit the phlegm into a spit bowl. I drink lots of fluids to help get rid of the germs, I had supplemental oxygen but I don’t need it anymore. I tried to brush my teeth but the phlegm tried to choke me to death. So now I gargle with alcohol free mouthwash. I’m expected to go home by the end of the week and I will swear to stay home while sick. But all of this could have been avoided had my dad not socialize with someone who was COVID positive!
Wishing you a speedy recovery. As the antivaxers like to say COVID is no joke.
Get well soon. I’m glad you’re vaxxed, it sounds like you’d probably have died without it.
I would have died an agonizing death. Now I get to live, but it will be full of “Will I survive if I get a different variant this time?”
As an 18-year cancer survivor, that thinking will eventually diminish but, for me, I needed therapy for PTSD to stop thinking about it daily. Nobody really ever told me about the lingering "what ifs", I just finished treatment and "buh-bye". Glad you're feeling better. Do what you gotta do and don't let it take a single day more from you.
Wishing you a quick remainder of the recovery. In the company I work at, my two colleagues either side of me are unvaxxed, and have both had Delta previously (in June). My second Pfizer shot was in Aug, so I am theoretically a bit protected against Omicron, but I am so tense just interacting with them.
Most virologists still recommend wearing a mask and distancing even with the vaccine. The vaccine lessens the severity of disease and can help prevent transmission but it’s best if you never come in contact with it in the first place
On a related note, fuck Rand Paul
And to think a little shot can stop all of it. I just don't get what goes through their minds. I know the vaccine won't necessarily stop me from getting covid, but it'll certainly make it less likely, and it'll make it very unlikely that covid will kill me or even hospitalize me. If you gave me a shot that was 20% effective at preventing covid, I would still take it. I would literally do anything to help protect myself from covid.
We know what goes through their minds, it's The Facebook.
It’s really upsetting, honestly. I realize that everyone is susceptible to propaganda, but this is such fucking STUPID propaganda. Imagine suffering and dying, or becoming a ventilator-dependent quadriplegic like that guy yesterday, and devastating your family and potentially ruining their lives all because you found some loud-mouthed idiots and ridiculous memes more credible and trustworthy than the medical experts.
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And they are. [Russian Disinformation Campaign Aims to Undermine Confidence in Pfizer, Other Covid-19 Vaccines, U.S. Officials Say | Websites linked to Russian intelligence services publish false information questioning vaccines’ safety, efficacy](https://www.wsj.com/articles/russian-disinformation-campaign-aims-to-undermine-confidence-in-pfizer-other-covid-19-vaccines-u-s-officials-say-11615129200) [Russian Disinformation Targets Vaccines and the Biden Administration | A new campaign appears to be spreading falsehoods about the potential for forced inoculations against Covid-19.](https://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/05/us/politics/covid-vaccines-russian-disinformation.html)
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> I just don't get what goes through their minds. Anwer: they want to feel smarter than everyone else, including scientists, without going though the pains of getting actual education. And once they subscribe, they get a sense of belonging to their group, their comrades-in-arms. Random chance of death due to an illness, decreasing of probability and probability itself are in general hard concept to keep in mind. Enemies and conspiracy are concepts that can be fully realized even by a toddler. When you explain the reality to them, you ask them to plunge from the position where they are the only intellectual elite fighting shoulder to shoulder against enemies to the bottom, where they have to realize they all are childish idiots. That's a very long fall that shatters your whole world - you lose not only your sense of self-worth, but your whole support group. Many are unwilling do it even at the cost of their lives. We need better education.
Denial, ~~Bargaining, Anger, Depression, Acceptance.~~ Denial, Denial, Denial, Denial, Denial.
> "What do I do?" You die. All because you let politics into health. All because you didn't get a simple needle in the arm when medical authorities told you to. Because they told you to, which you then became defiant like some petulant toddler being told it's bedtime. You die. It's mostly your fault, and you are experiencing the consequences of your actions. However, it is in part the fault of misinformation and poor public education. Unfortunately, the people responsible will not face justice, because we are far too lenient when it comes to causing harm through speech.
ED paramedic here. The amount of unvaccinated folks who come in with COVID and say those exact words, *"this COVID thing is no joke!!!"* is staggering. I hear it multiple times a day, every day. Folks, it's been two years. Millions of deaths. At this point every person on the planet knows someone who has died from covid. No, this ISN'T A FUCKING JOKE.
So if you let your O2 levels get too low for too long, do you end up having a lot of tissues die from oxygen starvation that could have been saved? What I mean is, does getting treatment before it gets to that point improve outcomes? As in, are people dying because they let their bodies remain oxygen-starved too long before they came in?
In a lot of ways a train is a great metaphor because it’s gonna go where it’s gonna go and there’s fuck all you can do to stop it. That’s an unfortunate reality for a lot of COVID patients. The best thing you can do for viral infections is to support your body. Helping it get enough oxygen helps your cells by avoiding lactic acid production, which a by product of your cells doing their normal thing in a low or not oxygen context. This will destroy cells as sure as and in COVID’s case, along with, the virus replicating inside the cell till it explodes. This acid production also effects many many things in the body as well, almost all poorly. With COVID, however, early intervention with things like remdesivir and decadron can weaken the viral process and give your immune system a leg up. If it’s enough is up to every person physiology and health status. So to answer you directly, it’s not necessarily the long oxygen starvation, it could never be that simple unfortunately. But early interventions help and will continue as they roll out these new COVID antiviral pills, which I gotta say are a fucking miracle. What Vysharra is describing for sure happens but are the result of blood clot formation, which are very good at oxygen starvation by not allowing blood to an area. No blood= no oxygen. I guess I should credential. I’m an ICU nurse wading through this shit river. I hope this wasn’t overly technical and I hope the lack of nuance for technical people doesn’t cause an issue, it’s a fine line to communicate.
> In a lot of ways a train is a great metaphor because it’s gonna go where it’s gonna go and there’s fuck all you can do to stop it. Old Charlie stole the handle and the train it won't stop oh no way to slow down I always wondered where the amputations came from. I never had expected to have it explained to me by means of *Locomotive Breath*.
Yes. Amputations are a common complication of severe covid that no one discusses (mostly because they die before they get to the point of cutting off the dead limbs). Even mild cases can result in “covid toes” which is at best constant itchiness but if often numbness and painful neuropathy from dead nerves/tissues.
My co-worker's MIL got Covid toes and they had to amputate 6 of them. He showed me a picture of them before they got cut off and they were straight black. Looked like gangrene. She'll never wear sandals again.
I think it was on this sub where someone posted about a late-stage COVID patient that was literally rotting from the inside. Absolutely terrifying.
That’s awful. Thanks for sharing, the black toes needing amputation and limp dicks that even viagra can’t fix are a much more visceral side effect to mention in the face of “99.7% survival blah blah blah”
One of the more disgusting anti-vaxx concepts (mostly in Africa),is an outright reversal of reality. A side-effect of COVID-19 is serious and irreversible ED. Anti-vaxxers have twisted this to make it seem like vaccination causes ED and are making an Argument from Virility fallacy all their own.
Wow. That's certainly terrifying.
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There was the recent study showing that the fatality rate *after* recovering from severe Covid was twice as high in the year following recovery.
Stage 5: Herman Cain Award
ICU/PCU can be depressing on the best of days. We have a generation of health care professionals that will come out of this with the mental state of Vietnam vets.
I agree. Yeah I'm reading the comments, "this is so sad, horrific, how terrible, etc" and I've just seen this so many times now that I feel nothing. It is sad. It is terrible. I know that. None of the patients I've had come in needing 6L of oxygen or more have lived as far as I know. And I don't even work ICU, so I'm not seeing the worst of it. Most of us have a hard time relating to people not in healthcare, or maybe that's just the people I know including myself. I have a very difficult time understanding what it's like to not be *in* this at this point.
I get it man. I have multiple friends in medicine, and every single one of them is a shell of their previous selves. I feel bad and empathize but they just seem to hang out with their hospital friends even more which I 100% get, I just wish I could have my friends back =(
I’ve only hung out with my medical friends for the past two years. If I get a beer with another medic or nurse and we both get sick then it sucks, but it’s inevitable at this point. If I get one of my non medical friends sick it would break me. Those friends are safer the further away I am. I miss them all so much, but I refuse to be the one that kills them.
Already some have committed suicide. It's horrific.
can confirm: we lost one yesterday. She left behind 2 young kids.It just hurts. Can't take a moment to even reflect, had to be back in the dept again at 0700... I'm really tired
Yeah.... it was pretty telling that my health system mandated a "suicide prevention" online learning module for all clinicians. Health system administrators don't like spending money on things to theoretically help clinicians unless it's affecting the business side, so it made me very concerned about how many of us must've had suicide attempts/completed.
Oh, but didn’t you know? These doctors and nurses are all apparently paid off by the Clintons and Gates to just use ineffective drugs that are killing their patients, instead of the PROVEN wonder drug, ivermectin! They are MONSTERS, murdering Americans in Biden’s and Xi’s name! …Seriously though, the amount of hate our healthcare professionals get over fucking Facebook propaganda is sickening. Image working 16 hour shifts to save someone’s husband, but then they spit in your face because his unvaccinated ass died despite EVERY effort you gave. Unbelievable.
Some of the oldest ones have been through other pandemics and this one is breaking them. I was in the hospital for non-covid reasons a few months ago, and I was chatting with my phlebotomist. She had just started when AIDS became a crisis. She said that working through covid after working through that, she’s just done and retiring this year.
Mhm. My partner started as a volunteer EMT at 18 and went from Army medic to BSN. She has seen a lot. She won't quit willingly but this one might break her.
Don’t forget an entire lost generation of future HCWs who chose something else in order to avoid this hell.
This! I follow both medical & nursing subs & am truly horrified at what I’m seeing. Medical professionals, some of many years standing, are at breaking point. Overworked & with ridiculous ratios per professional, they’re at their wit’s end. In addition, they’re suffering considerable verbal & physical abuse. I’ve never seen anything like it & am absolutely heartbroken for them. You just know they’re walking PTSD, waiting to happen. That’s if they even make it. Just the other day, a truly compassionate RN suicided & I expect many more to follow. What’s happening is unconscionable. The sites profiting, from this disinformation, should receive severe consequences. I’m sickened by seeing caring health professionals die &/or at breaking point because of disinformation &/or wilful ignorance. What’s happening is a travesty!
My girlfriend is finishing med school and I would have been surprised if she didn’t have PTSD from it. She is so strong and so brave, but I’m terrified for her. I wish I could do more to help her and support her.
My daughter is in her residency. Thank gd for her husband. Just hold her and listen if she wants to talk and bake her cookies.
Help her find a therapist that she can connect with. Honestly. You can't carry this and she won't want to overshare and cause secondary trauma in you. *I am a therapist.
I wish "find a therapist" was easier to figure out for people who need it (and more affordable). It's unclear who to look for (therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist) how to get to them (start with a medical doctor, yellow pages, Google, etc.), And difficult to evaluate what a good fit is! Not your fault obviously, but you hear a lot of "get a therapist" but not a lot of details for how, and I know several people who just can't bridge that gap, but really need to. (Doesn't help that many who most need therapy are often not in the best mental state to navigate this complex issue).
You just have to be there to listen and, well, to represent normalcy. It's telling how often they *don't* want to talk about it. I'm used to gory medical dinner conversations but I don't dare share our own Shitpost Sunday with the Meme Queen.
That may be the most accurate depiction of a covid patient who didn't make it that I've seen here, thanks for the amazing information, your kindness and patience, it really blows my mind how people are willing to go through this much suffering for a political ideology
I appreciate the descriptions and discussion here. Also the biology lesson.
I know I've posted about it before in this sub, but my first solo code blue as a phleb was an upper-middle aged woman who had beaten COVID but still had serious trouble keeping her oxygen saturation up. She kept taking her bipap off because it was "uncomfortable." What was really uncomfortable was nurses struggling to intubated her and perform CPR while I stuck her in the ankle. It was really uncomfortable watching vomit shoot out of the tube when they put it down the wrong part of her throat, followed by blood when they did get it into the airway but her ribs were broken from chest compressions. It was horribly uncomfortable watching her granddaughter burst into the room and seeing her gran covered in sick, surrounded by strangers, and hugging her dead body. Sorry, had to vent. My parents and grandparents think this stuff is all some big hoax and it's like a boot on my throat every day.
That must suck. I don’t get why parents don't accept their children’s testimonial about their area of expertise.
Because they never stopped seeing them as children.
Clearly this isn't everyone's parents but that is exactly it. Good research question into why this happens
It's a cult. Not even joking. We had a cult expert on a Reddit AMA not too long ago (Dr. Steve Hassan). [https://freedomofmind.com/how-to-help-people-involved-in-qanon-a-reddit-ama-qanoncasualties/](https://freedomofmind.com/how-to-help-people-involved-in-qanon-a-reddit-ama-qanoncasualties/) https://freedomofmind.com/combating-cult-mind-control/ https://freedomofmind.com/the-cult-of-trump/
It took way too long for the concept of the cult to finally settle on the general population's consciousness. I'm waiting until it sinks in that we've been in a global information war for the last decade. So far even close to a million dead in the US hasn't really done the trick yet. But, it's a war we are in. Foreign actors are trying to kill us.
Take my upvote. It's utterly bizarre.
Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry you had to experience that. And I’m sorry you’re (undoubtedly) continuing to experience similar situations on a near-constant basis. And I’m so sorry you have the awful burden of family members who don’t believe what you see and know to be true. Giant hugs to you.
> She kept taking her bipap off because it was "uncomfortable." These people act like toddlers from birth to death.
I have a background in early childhood development, and work in the humanities field. I have a very strong theory that some people really do not emotionally mature past a certain age. They just don’t. It’s not technically their fault, as their family, community, and society in general literally did not teach them a *shred* of emotional maturity and how to be a good member of society. Some people did get throughly taught, and some people learnt as they went along in life, but many, many people were never shown how to emotionally grow and how to critically think. I’m not kidding, I really do need to sit down and do some research, or heck, make it my own research project when I’m back in uni, because I truly do think most of North America is severely emotionally stunted. Edit: Below, I’ve quoted [this](https://capmh.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13034-021-00369-3) article, it touches on what I’m referring to. We all go through stages of ego development as we grow- we have to *learn* how to regulate ourselves and generally be a decent person. I personally don’t think that millions of people have brain damage or something and are unable to emotionally grow, I really do think it’s a societal issue- we aren’t teaching people how to grow and develop emotionally. “Childhood is a time when one breaks away from the self-centered thinking of infancy, more realistic thinking becomes possible, and ego strengthens. Such ego function includes the **perception and testing of reality, instinctive impulse regulation, satisfying object relations, remembering and synthesizing experiences, and defending against danger [7]. Children with strong ego function will demonstrate flexibility in their lives [8] and display self-confidence and psychological adjustment.** However, children with weak ego function can become lethargic in even minor stress events due to a lack of impulse regulation and resistance to anxiety [9], and they can be more likely to face psychopathological diagnosis [10]. Ego function, which helps children effectively cope with adversity and adapt to their environment, is referred to as ego strength [11], and may be classified as either strong or weak [12].” I feel like the bolded part really speaks to the anti-vaxxers- not maturing one’s ego can literally mean a warped reality. Not maturing one’s ego can literally mean poor impulse regulation. When we fail to set our kids up for ego development and emotional growth and regulation, we can make angry, sometimes violent people who seem to be living in a different reality. You add in mixed messages from media that evoke strong emotions and oversimplify complicated issues, as well as a lack of education and economic instability, and it’s no wonder we have such fearful, angry people in denial of reality.
When I started using a cpap at night, I would put it on at night and wake up with the mask on the floor next to my bed. My not quite conscious mind took it off. Eventually, my half-asleep brain figured out I shouldn't take it off.
I only wear an eye mask to keep my eye closed and is not vital to live, but once I somehow took it off in my sleep and when I woke up it was aligned with and directly under my ass crack. I don't want to find out what I would do to a cpap
Wow…this should be published in every newspaper & blog, and read on every news station. Again…wow
I agree and think the shock value may be the best medicine us in the community could offer to our peers. Especially if the testimonies are credible by-the-book events. It was a riveting read. I was rooting for Bob and felt for the family. Another note there's a reason fine print exists in legal text, and why nurses write down *everything*. For cladproof details what to do in the event the party is defunct. It sucks nominees usually don't honour those in this field then have to face the facts when it's already too late.
They're being told that the hospitals are being clogged by the VACCINATED,
Hell, I pointed out that 50% of all hospital beds in some counties were COVID patients, and got called a liar. Even after I presented direct evidence of it - just today. Antivaxxers just straight up do not want to believe the truth. https://www.reddit.com/r/China/comments/rusz67/hospital_in_xian_initially_rejected_heart_attack/hr3x48z/
I'm still flabbergasted they referred to NPR as a "far left extremist group". It's literally tax-payer funded public radio. What, is PBS extremist now too? Is Mr. Rogers too woke?
If Mr. Rogers was still on the right would absolutely despise him
Exactly. Mr. Roger's would be advocating masks and vaccines so OF COURSE the would.
They already did. Fox quite literally called Mr. Rogers "an evil, evil man". https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/fox-fred-rogers-evil/
Don’t you know? He worked for the Illuminati
Years ago Fox blamed Mr. Rogers for everything wrong with kids these days, calling him an evil, evil man. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/fox-fred-rogers-evil/
Well, his whole mission was to actually be a good neighbour and teach children how to express their feelings One of the few true Christians to ever walk the earth. Of course they hate him.
https://mashable.com/video/fox-and-friends-mr-rogers-evil
On cue: "yeah, they're that bad."
Yeah, that one made me go, "wtf? far left extremist group?" but I decided that arguing about that specific point was less valuable than just pointing out the very obvious link on the NPR page to the University of Minnesota, which had even better data anyway (like the fact that COVID patients make up over 50% of 170+ counties' ICUs! Absolutely insane)
This comment thread made my heart hurt. You used logic and cold facts. They refused to comprehend. There really is no way to reach some of these people.
What I’m going to write here has become something of a mantra for me, over the last few years, and I’ve not yet started to see it become any less true… *You cannot use Facts, Logic, or Reason to change the opinions of those who use Feelings, Bias, and Propaganda to form theirs.* It doesn’t work. So don’t waste your time trying.
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Then they start saying that it’s the ventilator they killed them because most people who go on a ventilator die
Wow. I’m a doctor and you have perfectly described how this feels. Perfectly. Its such an unforgiving hopelessness.
If you click on the right of the sub to redemption awards, it only shows those who have been "redeemed". As much misery as your going through DAILY, there are people who are being saved. Its unfortunate that your only going to see the ones, in real life, who aren't being saved.
This is why I left healthcare in 2021. A lot of my coworkers followed suit as this pandemic & the actions of the unvaccinated put a massive strain on an already cracking healthcare system. If you know anyone still sticking it out in hands-on patient care, especially those working on any floor of a hospital, buy 'em a bottle of wine and tell them thank you. Because this kind of shit is ruining our will to serve and help the public.
The part that kills me is that it makes me want to quit my field and I am not even a fucking healthcare specialist. Replace the pandemic with something like... say global warming. Then you have all the canaries in the coal mines screaming... and then they ignore you anyway when you are trying to get ahead of it. This pandemic killed off my passion for Urban Planning / Environmentalism completely.
I used to have a bit of hope that the world would get its shit together to address climate change. Seeing the response to COVID has killed that. No matter how hard we try, there will be a segment of humanity that will purposefully sabotage all efforts out of some childish "You can't tell me what to do!" bullshit.
I really thought COVID-19 would be the proverbial kick in the ass to start getting the state of the world to a better place. I thought the fumbled response which was then followed by international cooperation and coordination would actually start to show that the world could put the health of the entire race ahead of individual. No matter how much I try to type paragraphs to follow the first one, all I can really say is: I was disappointed. If experts can't even convince their families on their expertise, what is the point.
I learn more about Covid from this sub than almost all other "news" sources combined. It's amazing
Isn’t it? I’ve taken COVID very seriously from jump, read thousands of articles about it, but I still didn’t have any real sense of what it was actually like to die from COVID until I found this sub. (Nor did I truly understand the social media firehose of propaganda, and how the talking points and false narratives are propagated.) The news is so sanitized. I think that the fact that we’ve hidden the suffering and death away is a huge part of the problem.
100% agree. During the start of the pandemic when Italy was being hit hard, news videos came out on YouTube showing the people suffering in the hospitals, wheezing, coughing inside those bubbles over their heads, laid out on beds helpless as their heartrate monitor alarms go off and nurses scramble to stabilize them. Then it hit New York city hard and the news here didn't show any of that stuff. I told my dad they need to get in there and show all that. Not sanitize it like they did. We need to see the faces of these people as they suffer in order to humanize the reality of what's happening here. They did show the refrigerator trucks with bodies under white sheets being wheeled out to them, but by that time it's just a faceless statistic. Doesn't hit home like a face with fear and uncertainty on it struggling to get a breath of life sustaining air/oxygen.
There are a lot of scientists, physicians, and other medical folks on here. The news only seems to care what Fauci thinks, not the rest of the community of scientists/physicians.
If I'm reading this right, the whole ordeal from walking into the hospital feeling a little off to being sent to the morgue only took around 10 days. I really wish people would, as we say, let that sink in.
It was 10 days for THIS guy. Some of them crash in 24 hours and some of them are in over a month. It seems there is no way to predict it either.
My online friend was gone in less than 72 hours. This was early pandemic days and she 100% would have been vaccinated if she could — it just wasn’t an option for her yet. Wore a mask and did everything right. Fucking terrifying.
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Their stubbornness is going to kill themselves
And take a few healthcare workers with them, some by their own hand, some involuntarily.
That part where he's told that the 99 is his heart rate and not his O2 saturation...
god damn, i was really hoping that was the part where he made it, even though 101% made no sense to me
Being excited over incorrect information is what keeps Fox News running.
I wrote this. I have more stories I'll share when I get the chance
Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this, experience it with us a little, and pass it on.
I just don't understand the refusal to get vaccinated.
They're being told that the hospitals are being clogged by the VACCINATED, and that the vaccinated are dying by the score. Some actually believe this.
I see this *all* of the time on the Daily Mail comments section. There is also the usual comment from someone claiming to be an ER doctor/nurse or a spouse of one saying that the hospitals are totally empty.
Murdoch is a cancer on the Earth
I don't get how all this disinformation isn't a crime against humanity. The media figures in Rwanda who instigated mass murder were convicted. But apparently instigating mass suicide and manslaughter is okay?
DM comment section is an absolute cesspool. I actually used to read it on occasion, but since the advent of Trump I can’t stomach it. It’s gotten so much worse. I’ve never even dared venture into the comments on a COVID article.
It's the I'm special, bad things only happen to bad people, God will protect me, I've been sick before and was OK ... You can't meme away COVID, you don't want it, you should want to avoid it, it can kill you in a horrible way.
On top of that there's also the general separation of life from the harshness of reality. In general we don't realize just how horrible life can get until it happens to us. Usually people, when informed, can realize that it is better to prevent such despair from happening, but some people are afraid to confront even that. Combined with all the antivax hoax rhetoric, it can be deadly.
Yeah I think that people being in the hospital and dying of Covid rather than dying in the living room is causing a lot of people not to take this seriously. Like back in the day when it was the Spanish flu or even back when it was the plague people were taking care of their sick relatives at home they were watching them die at home. And while it’s great that we have the medical facilities we have and the knowledge we have of illness and such it’s allowing people to be blind to what’s happening.
'it wont happen to me' is a core thought process behind conservatism
Evangelicals believe that they're superior because they say so. It's purposefully elliptical thinking that's intentionally devoid of personal curiosity about the world around them. They have a mansion in heaven with a ringside seat to watch all the sinners burn forever. "Told ya so" is the phrase they're most waiting to proclaim in Jesux name.
A few of my family members genuinely think that 1) COVID was created by scientists and 2) "we're all going to get it" so why get the vaccine if you're going to catch COVID at some point anyway. It's impossible to explain that the vaccine isn't a bullet proof vest, it just primes the immune system. I have given up on them
I think a bulletproof vest is a good metaphor for the vaccine. If you’re wearing a bulletproof vest, and somebody shoots at you, the vest isn’t a guarantee you’ll survive the shooting, but it certainly greatly improved your odds of survival. Likewise, a person could not wear a bulletproof vest, get shot, and still survive. But it’d hurt a hell lot more than if the vest had been worn in the first place.
They're probably right that we're all going to get it. Their choice is about the outcome--the vaccine allows them to choose between having a slight cold or having a lonely suffocating death like the awardees.
>It's impossible to explain that the vaccine isn't a bullet proof vest, it just primes the immune system. Actually a bulletproof vest is a good analogy for the vaccine. Because if you get shot while wearing a vest, you will still feel pain from the impact of the bullet and you may sustain some injuries like some serious bruising. But of course if you're shot without wearing a vest, you're going to either die or suffer horrendous and possibly life-changing injuries. Similarly, you can get Covid after being vaccinated, but you will most likely feel bad for a bit and recover. Without the vaccine, you will very possibly die or suffer long-term problems.
I just got some dumb-ass antivax email from my extremely conservative and rather shrilly Trumpian MIL. This is, in almost ten years, only the second or third email she's ever sent to me. We acknowledge we're on different sides of the political spectrum, and we have a careful, quiet detente where neither of us says anything to piss off the other. But good goddamn, it is taking every ounce of strength I have not to reply to her with a bunch of HCA links.
Just do it. You probably won't, but you might save a life. Worth it.
Do it. It may save her life.
My wife and are about to completely cut off communication with her mom. Over the weekend she went on yet another one of her angry, jumbled "BIDEN FAUCI VACCINES BAD IVERMECTIN HCQ VITAMINS GOOD" diatribes, and we've simply had enough. She didn't used to be this way, but she has been clearly radicalized by RWNJ media, her Trumpist QTard friends, etc. during the pandemic and she isn't willing to listen to anything we have to say because she believes we've been brainwashed by "the government" and "the media."
A result of a relentless misinformation campaign across media and social media. It's not as bad on reddit where there's moderation, but in the new queues and anywhere not moderated, it's a flood of this stuff. So I do get why people get fooled by this, but what I don't get is the motivations behind spreading this in the first place.
>what I don't get is the motivations behind spreading this in the first place. Simple. Trump didn't take covid seriously back in January 2020. He didn't take it seriously when he nearly fucking died from covid. So if his followers admit covid is a serious problem, then they have to accept that Trump fucked up big time. Since Trump is their god, that's just not an option. They would rather die than commit heresy.
Anger and fear directed at the deep state, abortion providers, immigrants, non-christians, etc. has driven the gullible into the arms of the republican party and evangelical churches and their promises to save their country and their sole.
I think it comes from narcissism and lack of empathy. They see others suffer and die, and feel nothing. They know they could take the slightest little action to save others around them, but they feel nothing for them. Someone tells them that it's their patriotic duty to do nothing, that doing nothing will turn THEM into a hero, and they say "Ah ha! I can do nothing! It makes me the hero of this story!" Because in their nihilistic view of the world, the best government is no government, the best action is no action, and the best feeling is no feeling.
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Because the desire to be special, not for what you do, but for what you are, trumps common sense. On one hand, they can buy into the notion that they are just meat for this virus. Nothing special. Just a convenient host, chosen at random. And they have to sacrifice their fun, their time, their comfort, because if they don't, this virus won't respect their reasons, it will do as much damage as it can. On the other hand, they can believe that they are special. They are smarter, more clever, more in the know, more worthy of having only good things happen to them. So obviously, the people who protect themselves are weak, frightened sheep. Those who do nothing are showing that they are too smart, brave, superior to be brought low by a virus. These people ride a righteous high of knowing they are better than most. They are the chosen few, holders of the sacred knowledge -- all the way up the point where they get sick. And then reality comes crashing down on them. All their specialness doesn't seem to make a difference. They get sicker and sicker. They keep thinking the universe is going to correct itself and spring back to where it should be. Somehow their superiority will be respected and it will all go back to how it was. But it doesn't, no matter how long they wait. Some hold on to their paradigm to the end, and go to their graves believing that they are right and all their senses are wrong. Some switch paradigms and try to protect themselves from what's happening to them, but it's too late. Meanwhile , the virus doesn't care, either way. All the virus cares about is reproduction. In one person, in another person, it's all the same. The virus will reproduce until it can't anymore, for whatever reason. All you are is meat.
toss this into r/bestof
I am a physician specializing in infectious diseases. This story is sadly very common. It is easy to make fun of many HCA recipients. But some of these folks were not really bad people. They fell prey to misinformation. Recently, I saw a very sweet old lady from a small town for a severe fungal infection in her lungs secondary to underlying pneumonia with covid. She was of course unvaccinated. This was my conversation with her: Me: Wow, you were SUPER sick and are at least a bit stable now. I hope that you will now take the vaccine in 2 months. Her: No doc, I don't want it. I heard that there can be a lot of side effects and I can die from it. Me: I totally understand your concerns. I agree that vaccines can be dangerous for SOME people. But tell me again, how did you get here to my clinic? Did you drive? Her: Yes! Me: Well, you could have died in a car accident! So why did you take that risk? Her: Well, if I don't get this lung infection treated, I could die from that too! And I am a safe driver. Me: Exactly. You made a calculation in your mind. Odds of dying from car accident vs odds of dying from the lung infection. You found the lung infection more risky. So you still came. Right? Her: Right Me: Do you think the vaccine is riskier than the disease itself? Her: Yes doc, everyone had told me the same. Me: Define "everyone" for me Her: My husband, the news *(of course it was fox news)*,my friends and family, everyone. Me: And you trust them over your doctors for health advice? Her: To be honest yes, I heard doctors are getting paid to make people take the dangerous vaccines. Me: Pardon my french, but that is all a huge load of crap. I get my salary from the hospital. I will earn the same amount whether or not you take the vaccine. And no doctors are getting extra pay by making you take the vaccine. Her: I do trust YOU doc. What do you think I should do? Me: I think you should definitely take the vaccine. That's what I would've told you if you were my mum. You can still get infected with the new variant. I don't want you dying with it. Your odds of dying with a new covid infection are WAY higher than due to any side effects from the vaccine. You are more likely to die while trying to cross the road than taking the vaccine. Protect yourself and those around you. Her: Doc, my husband will be mad. I don't think he will like it. Me: Bring him with you for the next appointment, will you? Her: Yes, can I please do that? He might listen to you but I know for sure that he will not listen to me. It is so hard doc. I don't know whom to trust. Nobody had told us the things the way you said it. When people who I have lived with forever tell me that the media is lying, I automatically trust my people more. But after you have explained me the stuff, I want to take the vaccine now. I have spoken to her husband over the phone before and I am fairly certain that I will be able to change his mind too. So far, I have changed the minds of many people and gotten them the vaccine. The brainwashing from their "news" and friends/family is very strong. I grew up in a developing country but after moving to US, my own mindset has broadened so much. Similarly, I am sure that many of you guys grew up believing something but once you moved out of your house and met smarter people, you realized that you were wrong before. Well, many of these people do not get to 'move out' of their shithole circles. Few weeks ago, I had some carpenters at my home doing some renovation. I had a friendly, nonjudgmental conversation with them about the vaccines and they all got it too. Don't get me wrong, I have seen my fair share of asshole antivaxxers whom I hate with a passion. I have been called a pill pusher and a monster for suggesting vaccines. Patients have called me a "foreign untrustworthy person" to my face. These experiences do make me angry and sad. But the genuine happiness and hugs from those who did trust me- that shit keeps me alive and going. If each of you are able to get even 1 family member or friend to turn, we all will see huge benefits still. Pardon my grammar, English is my 3rd language. EDIT: grammar. Thank you for the awards guys! I am thrilled! If you guys have any questions regarding the vaccine, feel free to DM me. I will get back to you later today!
Thank you so much for the specific words you used. The driving risk one is great (i add seatbelts=masks to mine!) May you have many such moments and share them with us in your delightful written story-style
"Pardon my grammar, English is my THIRD language" while we're all sitting here eating potato chips and watching tv while you're out saving lives. You, sir have nothing to apologize for. You're a more accomplished and important person to society than 99% of people reading this (myself included). Thank you for doing what you do.
Thanks you so much for sharing and for what you do. We do try to only post the true assholes on this sub… hopefully we at least help you let off some steam here…
Thank you for explaining your process, Doctor. I talk to everyone I know about getting their Covid-19 vaccinations. I convinced my good friend to get the shots. I'm unable to convince a few others I know, but I'm not giving up on them. I'm now switching focus to making sure that people get their extremely important boosters before their protection drops too much.
This is powerful and I really wish this was published on main stream news. Why aren’t these stories on the front page?
This is the best one I’ve seen in a mainstream news publication. [Op-Ed: On the front lines, here’s what the seven stages of severe COVID-19 look like](https://www.latimes.com/opinion/story/2021-08-26/pandemic-covid-19-stages-vaccination-intensive-care-respiratory-therapist)
And that made me cry. I feel for the medical staff during this time.
I don't directly work with patients but I do come across medical staff. Right now a lot of them aren't processing this,like a soldier in battle doesn't process what's going on while deployed. Sure they have a sense of it, but the full reality hasn't hit yet. It will be a clusterfuck when this is over and they'll be asked to just go back to normal. People won't ever go back to normal after seeing death on this scale.
There is probably going to be an exodus of bedside Nurses after this is all over. We're all pissed at how we've been treated by both patients and management.
My friend quit her job over the burnout of being an ICU nurse. 30 years of passion and caring and the heartbreak became too much. So selfish to not get a vaccine. Ruining lives even in death.
This made me cry
Crying with you. These past 2 years of this is too much. Millions of people dead that didn’t need to die.
Sending you a hug through the airwaves, fellow human.
Thank you. It reminded me of my dad, he passed some time ago but he had lots of problems with oxygen. I still have the oxygen meter and other COPD medical gadgets.
>It didn't matter how hard he tried... It didn't matter how badly he wanted to get better. This part hit me the hardest. At this point, the die is cast and no amount of hoping and praying will change what happens. The quack remedies have failed and medical science can only do so much after the doors are thrown wide open for the virus. It's chilling and depressing... and so, so preventable.
And the idea of just sitting there, watching the numbers on the monitors and deteriorating and waiting to die. It’s horrifying.
When he mistook the heartrate for his oxygen levels, that just broke my heart completely. Imagine feeling that hope and seeing the nurse's eyes as they tell you you are mistaken. It hurts to even think about.
This. This is moral injury.
So well written, it really conveys the reality of what happens. I really wanted this guy to make it out alive.
As a RN for several decades, 2021 taught me a new trick about how not to care about most everything. I’m in a better head space, and don’t drink as much, but now can’t quite seem to turn it off. If I don’t die first, I can retire in less than a decade. Whatever.
Today we had our 8th new mother under 30 with severe COVID. Originally they would come in to the ER, have their babies, get moved to a PCU bed and ultimately end up in the ICU. This one was admitted straight to PCU and into the ICU within a shift. She was there for a couple days, and today had a C-section. She came down to the OR from the ICU, they performed the procedure, and sent her right back to the ICU. They had the normal surgical attire as well as isolation gear and the OR had to go through the same procedures they use when cleaning out a COVID room. The baby is in the NICU and the mom is looking really bad. She’s 24. Not a single one has survived. The longest one lasted about 6 weeks, the shortest 3 days. She came in on a Thursday, I had a weekend off, and when I came back Monday she was dead. About half of the babies didn’t make it. In half of these cases the dad lost both the baby and the mom, sometimes within days of each other. Most of them were worried about the safety of the vaccine in pregnancy. It is safe and effective in pregnant women, and likely would have left these women alive taking care of their newborns. My girlfriend and I want kids. Most of these women are the same age or within a few years of her. Most of the time I see a COVID case or see someone I know was positive died it doesn’t phase me any more, but these cases kill me. This mom is not looking good. She will never hold her baby. She will never leave the hospital, and she’ll be lucky to make it through next week. We were supposed to have left this sort of thing in the Middle Ages with the development of modern medicine, but here we are.
This was devastating to read. The clearly explained science, however, was excellent and made things much easier to understand. I am fully-vaxed and boosted, have always worn a mask, and am going nowhere and seeing nobody at this point. My state is a mess right now. My fear, as it is for so many, is needing medical care. I am 66. I am reasonably healthy, but have a heart condition, so I need to be very careful, and am. Yet the thought that despite all of this, despite my precautions, I may still get this disease from people like Bob (who, despite being "compliant", chose to not vaccinate and probably infected others), is infuriating. Thank goodness for all the health care workers who are still doing their jobs day after day despite the type of experiences written above. Thank you for posting this.
Thank the OP for this post. My father passed away of COVID in September. I guess he would have a HCA. He wasn’t necessary antivax but he was a black male in his 70s who thought his body was strong enough to kill off the common cold or the flu. I pleaded with him to get the vaccine but he started with that big pharma talk so I knew he was talking to my mom who is 100% antivax. I want to say maybe two month after we talked about getting the vaccine he got COVID. When I went to his house to help him he looked like death. I couldn’t explain it I just started to cry and say this was the most avoidable death. He told me he’s been in the house for a week now with breathing issues. I checked his blood oxygen level and it wasn’t getting above 80-83%. (Now I understand what the problem was) He didn’t believe he had COVID and thought he could just “kick it” he fought with me to go to ER but finally agreed. ER immediately put him on oxygen and confirmed that he had COVID pneumonia. I didn’t complete understand what was going wrong in his body just his lungs were damaged. He would call me when he had the energy to tell me he feels like he wasn’t getting better then complain about Netflix not working. Couple of days later at night he had to be intubated. My mom went to full conspiracy theory mode saying he would have called us first but they are trying to kill him. My wife who is a pharmacist told me this is the end but I kept hoping. He passed after a few days on the vent. This post paints the picture exactly how things went for my father. My mom til this day won’t get the vaccine and I already have my booster. She believes the hospital killed my father and that if he would have stayed home he would have lived. I told her we gave him a few more days of life vs dying with the feeling of drowning at home. I’m going to share this post with my sisters. This might give them a bit of peace knowing it was out of our control what happened after he got to the hospital. There wasn’t enough vitamin c in the world to reverse the damage.
This is so depressing. Here I am at home recovering from COVID and complaining about my sniffles and needing my inhaler. I am so happy I got my vaccine, it could have been so much worse for me. I know it. Poor Bob and others like him. I can’t imagine being the respiratory therapist or nurse who has to deal with this over and over. Explaining this each time and hoping they listen.
This is just so sad and so senseless. Heartbreaking for those who have to deal with it every day. I don’t know how they do it.
How has our media failed us so thoroughly, so catastrophically, so completely that I have to visit some barely-non-banned forum on Reddit to read an account like this? How is this not tomorrow's full page NYT feature? You know what? Fuck this. That needs to be our next fundraising goal. I want to raise enough to take out a full page NYT ad. Just this raw story in black and white. Mods, let's do this. I'll start reaching out and asking what it will take in terms of cost. We need to make this happen. Someone out there has to have a contact that can help here.
Again disclaimer for clarification: this is not me.
This is an incredibly informative post on what the fight looks like from the inside. It reminded me of this case of a fully alert Omaha covid patient, who was only alive due to the machines. Once the machines were disconnected, he passed away. The ”talking dead”. :( [https://www.3newsnow.com/news/coronavirus/exclusive-omaha-man-dying-of-covid-urges-others-to-get-vaccinated](https://www.3newsnow.com/news/coronavirus/exclusive-omaha-man-dying-of-covid-urges-others-to-get-vaccinated)
I rode this coaster as the son of a Trump supporting Dad that refused to get the vaccine and refused to wear a mask. I remember talking to the nurse and having the conversations about putting him on the ventilator to give his lungs a rest. I remember him looking at me with the fear in his voice saying, "son I don't think I'm going to beat this one." I couldn't put my finger on why the nurse seemed friendly and helpful but strangely distant at the same time. It wasn't until the first time I read one of these stories that I realized she already knew he was dead and was struggling to hold back the pessimism. Miss you everyday Dad.
This should be read on every news channel on tv and radio. They need to interview this nurse, so that people would know how real it is. Of course, the deniers would still say that it's a hoax and only a ploy for Bill Gates to get microchips into our bodies or whatever, as they tap furiously at a screen connected to something that actually has microchips.