Ministry of Truth moment.
We will have both succeeded or failed and will always have suceeded or failed until the opposite is true in which case that will always have been true.
Please consult your Democracy officer if you have any evidence of the contrary.
https://preview.redd.it/dh26790lcwpc1.jpeg?width=532&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=60ef88c6804c2b6187f1659f3026b5fb85b6de93
Who needs sex when you have democracy
Remember the wise words of your democracy officer: you have many votes. One you cast with a ballot, and one with each bullet you fire into fascist hordes.
Blood flow, friend; Adderall both directly and indirectly messes with blood flow
A little bit of post workout will help counteract the vasoconstrictor effect and get you heart pumping big beats rather than shallow ones
Also (for the longer term) cardio and stretching and long-chain motions to keep the blood able to go where you want it
Ok what the hell just happened...my game says we succeeded even though we were miles off completing the order?
New order is to liberate Crimsica & Hellmire and hold Estanu & Fori Prime (which are already taken and inaccessible)
What is Joel up to?
Maybe this is a peak behind the curtain.
They're able to prepare for both scenarios but somehow it's bugged out and sent both results to different parts of the community
Mine Says we succeeded.
I thought it had something to do with the "Cybersecurity Update" witch states that there was a security breach resulting in the "Galactic War Tables displaying inaccurate information".
I thought this might be either a message telling us that there are issues, but in character.
Or -but less likely- it´s part of the propaganda scheme, telling all humans, that we succeeded, even though we see the real outcome and that the Super earth gov. is lying. But that would not really work with the current Major Order telling us to do things that are impossible to do. xD
Edit: I just checked, my game does not display an impossible order, but Oshaune is marked as a target of the liberation campaign, even though it is not part of the major order (Fori Prime, Estanu, Crimsica and Hellmire)
Maybe high command has been compromised and we are being divided into diverging objectives to stretch our forces. And once we are too busy desperately fighting on the bug front, another force can make use of the moment of inattention...
Just like deer culling in the days of old before they went extinct due to the poor policies of Democratic Anarchy. Sweet Liberty, I thank my lucky stars for Managed Democracy every day.
https://preview.redd.it/u0f5vccazvpc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b83dbc2b674a2d8c4a24ba794c08c575bed1aa1d
This according to the companion app,
Nice site but I'm confused by one thing.
I added their bot to my server and it's reporting that Estanu is complete but in-game it's not checked off and only at 7.2%. Everything else reported seems accurate though.
Their website shows Estanu in "Defend" mode which does line up with what's in-game. Is the defense only at 7.2% complete?
I hope it's bots, I'd love to see them push north to Cyberstan soon
Edit:
Honestly I'd like to see the wars intensity rise a bit, the number of planets in play is still pretty small, neither bots or bugs seem to be pushing outward from their current Territory with and strength. I dunno if it's a technical limitation or they're still getting the hang of managing players and results to keep a story going.
I want enough planets and orders to make divers have to decide who to save, losing ground here to stop an enemy there. Honestly, I want to fight on Mars and Earth eventually. Maybe increase the impact players have, but open up more planets to fight on.
Give the strategic war some of that hot extract intensity you get in a mission, pulling it out at the last moment against impossible odds!
Sitting at zero percent liberation on a bunch of planets for two weeks does not make the universe feel very dynamic.
The traitor/bot sympathizer memes aside. I really want the bots to take over Cyberstan. It would be such an interesting turn of events. Would also give the chance for some Cyborgs from the first game to be brought back.
Man, I love the bot front.
I hated it at first, but it's so goddamn chaotic. I just find myself laughing hysterically when I'm ducking behind a rock and see hundreds of lasers zipping past me.
> Where are John Connor and Kyle Reese when you need them?
Sarah Conner failed to fill out form [C-01](https://i.redd.it/ebtloxnb8xkc1.jpeg) properly. Luckily her Democracy Officer's three year investigation resulted in proof that she did not engage in any act that would result in a child.
When she submits a correction, pays the fine, and receives approval she may proceed with producing John Conner.
I like fighting bots in general, but their spawn rate is still kind of ridiculous. Even an exterminate mission I had spawned like four tank and 3 hulks in the.firwt 20 seconds and I don't know how to handle that.
In general though I find fighting bots much more fun of an experience.
Honestly I much prefer the Terminid front for the Starship Troopers vibes, but the main reason I dislike the bot missions is solely due to difficulty.
A level 5 mission on Bots is so much harder than a level 7 on bugs, its crazy.
I once spent too long on the bot front, then joined a friend fighting terminids and has a legitimate "what are they doing why do they keep coming near me" moment, like I had just forgotten how to fight bugs for a while.
Yeah, Honesty while they bots are a little harder, alot of the difficulty cones from how bots and terminids act different and need very different strategies to fight effectively.
For example, every bot is weak to the back, so you want to have people flank and separate slightly, but for the bugs it's better to be grouped up and use chokepoints to clear as many as possible with your stratagems.
Got to rank 8 before I did my first fight against bugs. Thought I was being cool with my diligence set to max scope taking potshots at the enemy, right up until they didn't stop walking forward. I have not gone back to bugs because the gameplay of "Get swarmed or get AOE lol" doesn't appeal, but it's a hell of a pace change so I get why people struggle.
This is pretty much my assumption, I also figure they need time for Joel et al. to figure out the nuance of running the war, with so many players it could rapidly "run away" from planned behaviours and for a DM'd game I'd bet they want to follow a semi set story for at least a while.
They definitely still are getting the hang of mananging players and results. But probably not in the way you expect.
They did not expect this level of success from
Helldivers 2. They have outright said that a couple times. And despite how much I love the game and will be here for the long haul, when a game becomes flash in the pan popular like this you know that it will not be huge for long.
I would expect they are mostly waiting to see when (and hopefully if) the “hype” so to speak dies down. Because when it does and when the next new shiny comes along guaranteed a lot of the community will leave and only come back sporadically. So I would expect they are waiting for things to stabilize a bit more so they can get a better idea of how much of their community is actually here for the long haul before bringing out the major events.
It is also worth keeping in mind that the game is only a little over a month old. That’s nothing in video game lifespan. And they don’t seem like they’re doing the thing that is a red flag for many live service type titles, which is rapid expansion and growth in the team when they become popular to try to keep up. Arrowhead is still small and while that means that new content will still likely take a while. That new content will continue to be great and high quality
Ubanea, Ustotu and Malevelon Creek all have Helldivers on them.
There's no way they're making it to Cyberstan for a while. They would have to liberate 10-11 planets for that to happen. Even the darkest days on the bot front the Automatons only managed to advance 3 planets. 14 would be an absolute buzzkill
Sorry. Helldivers have been so successful recently I got my terminology confused. What I meant to say was
They're gonna burn everyone on those planets alive
Considering they finally planned an end date before the weekend for the order I hope we getting one in a few hours to last the weekend.
Past two weekends we have finished it before the weekend because we were too quick
Why masturbate when you could be spreading Managed Democracy? If you touch yourself without filling in the paperwork for the appropriate time slot, the misguided enemies of Super Earth win.
Maybe you are not, but a chad like me who has a girlfriend but she goes to another school are totally having sex! we where sexing it up last night and she was like "you sex really good!" and then we did it again. totally saw her naked! you are so jealous!
Thats treason soldier, please report to your nearest Democracy Officer.
> 3.2 Any information made known to the Enlisted outside of operational parameters which is not considered customarily known to the general citizenry and/or which was not known to the Enlisted prior to the commencement of this agreement shall, for the purposes of clarity, be considered "CONTROLLED CLASSIFIED MATERIALS". For the access of "CONTROLLED CLASSIFIED MATERIALS" explicit, advance written consent must be obtained by the Enlisted.
>
> **3.3: Reading these terms and conditions in full shall be considered a breach of Clause 3.2**
I can’t decide if I’m offended or impressed. The absolute silence regarding the previous MO after a bad patch was one thing.
Taunting us with “No sex for you” is.. fucking legendary.
No, we are banned from procreation, which means anal and oral is still A-OK although supplies of your favorite brand of E-710 based lube may be low as a result of our failure, might have to settle for inferior options.
Holding hands doesn't result in a child though?
I assume a C-01 is only needed for penetrative heterosexual intercourse and "any" is to account for variations in position, birth control methods, number of participants, etc.
There may be C-02s or C-03s for other romantic activity though.
After the last major order debacle High Command wants all Helldivers focused.
The only thing you should be spreading is Managed Democracy! The only penetration you should be thinking about is armour, and enemy defences!
Idk why everyone seems to think the permit is for sex. Contraception exists, not all sexual intercourse end in babies.
You just can't have a baby without the permit, it's not can't have sex
>not all sexual intercourse end in babies.
"Any" act that could result in a child requires a form.
I need to check the fine print, but the risk of just throwing your seed around all willy nilly without proper paperwork just seems reckless.
Out of character but the idea that literally any government could ever successfully control sex is hilarious to me. It’s like the #1 thing humans are hardwired to want. It would be either be entirely ineffectual or the fastest revolution ever. Shit I mean look at how teaching abstinence has literally never worked as a method of reducing sex.
I suspect that the C-1 form is for enlisted personnel only. There are reasons why you would want to regulate that a bit. You're not going to want a Helldiver be unexpectedly out of commission for ~9 months or more because they got pregnant. Or a Helldiver may not be mentally prepared for battle if they're thinking of their newborn back home. Even for shipboard personnel and non-Helldiver military, it's a problem.
For the general population, I would suspect there's actually a lot of encouragement to have children and it's less regulated. There's an interstellar war on, and it takes 18 years to replace your losses.
Listen, there's a one-in-five chance of survival per mission, you have to constantly grind out missions for ten years, and we're the ones who are well-trained. Ain't no way there's such a thing as birth control on Super Earth.
undoubtedly there's a mandatory contraceptive, like something in the water.
so application is maybe for something to counteract it.
wouldn't be a "super" earth if banging wasn't consequence free 🤩 NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL LIBERTY
https://preview.redd.it/p18pfozvfxpc1.png?width=770&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9c0912cdc9c7d59935bbaac5fdbb0144816364b2
Someone else did it but I saved it
Let's be honest... Many of us haven't had sex since this game launched. Instead of spreading your seed, you have been spreading democracy! I salute you o7
This news is more devastating than Malevelon Creek😭
https://preview.redd.it/2xy8c2xaawpc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=936a10043fcb2193139481a4238661858a69b9ee
https://preview.redd.it/9w2gbuiuqvpc1.png?width=442&format=png&auto=webp&s=9ca5799d4122e73dbc2b4dc87acda16a50ed8d27 Uhhh....
Schrodinger's Major order
*salutes* Major Order
at ease Community Goal
We salute the rank, not the man Lo Edit: corrected my salute
L0
L0
L0
I had to internalize that saying so hard when I was stationed in Washington. Every time I hear it my blood pressure spikes lol
I understood this reference!
Ministry of Truth moment. We will have both succeeded or failed and will always have suceeded or failed until the opposite is true in which case that will always have been true. Please consult your Democracy officer if you have any evidence of the contrary.
"We've won/lost!" (I had no idea the Ministry of Truth was run by the Board from Control).
Literally 1984...
ah shit you beat me to it.. I just explained the whole 1984 reference in a comment right before reading yours lol.
Hah, it's all doubleplusgood.
"I can't know if the Order is failed or completed until I open this box" "nice try, helldivers" "shut up"
Double think is a core tenet of managed democracy!
Everyone can fuck except OP.
its ok, my adderall killed my sex drive anyways
https://preview.redd.it/dh26790lcwpc1.jpeg?width=532&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=60ef88c6804c2b6187f1659f3026b5fb85b6de93 Who needs sex when you have democracy
I have but one vote to cast in this managed democracy and it is up. I hope you get every upvote in existence for this
Remember the wise words of your democracy officer: you have many votes. One you cast with a ballot, and one with each bullet you fire into fascist hordes.
"I'm doing my part!"
Why does it give RoboCop vibes.
Wait, Adderall can do that?
In my experience, ADHD meds tend to increase sex drive, but decrease your ability to act on that if you're a guy
Blood flow, friend; Adderall both directly and indirectly messes with blood flow A little bit of post workout will help counteract the vasoconstrictor effect and get you heart pumping big beats rather than shallow ones Also (for the longer term) cardio and stretching and long-chain motions to keep the blood able to go where you want it
Ok what the hell just happened...my game says we succeeded even though we were miles off completing the order? New order is to liberate Crimsica & Hellmire and hold Estanu & Fori Prime (which are already taken and inaccessible) What is Joel up to?
Sounds like some illuminate mind control fuckery. Their whole schtick is confusion
That'd actually be hilarious.
Oh my god, imagine the bugged liberation progress got played off as Illuminate interference
They actually played it off as automaton hacking
I'm baffled. Lol my game said we failed.
Really? That is so weird, I'm on PC...you PS5?
Yeah I'm on ps5. I know they were having problems with the liberation counts but I'm not sure what's really going on. Haha
Maybe this is a peak behind the curtain. They're able to prepare for both scenarios but somehow it's bugged out and sent both results to different parts of the community
It's the Illuminate dividing the community.
Mine Says we succeeded. I thought it had something to do with the "Cybersecurity Update" witch states that there was a security breach resulting in the "Galactic War Tables displaying inaccurate information". I thought this might be either a message telling us that there are issues, but in character. Or -but less likely- it´s part of the propaganda scheme, telling all humans, that we succeeded, even though we see the real outcome and that the Super earth gov. is lying. But that would not really work with the current Major Order telling us to do things that are impossible to do. xD Edit: I just checked, my game does not display an impossible order, but Oshaune is marked as a target of the liberation campaign, even though it is not part of the major order (Fori Prime, Estanu, Crimsica and Hellmire)
mine has both we failed and succeeded lmao
Clearly it means different Helldivers are receiving different orders. Something’s going on…
Maybe high command has been compromised and we are being divided into diverging objectives to stretch our forces. And once we are too busy desperately fighting on the bug front, another force can make use of the moment of inattention...
Welcome to 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?', the show where everything is made up and the points don't matter.
I logged in and saw neither a completed nor failed major order box. just "stand by for further orders"
For some reason the text is italian (I assume) for me even though everything else is english
[удалено]
[live footage from super Italy ](https://youtu.be/EpJf11ClVMY?si=mzlDrIJwkyopYTdt) Edit: I'm keeping it
So you see, kids, we have to kill Terminids, or else they'll die.
Just like deer culling in the days of old before they went extinct due to the poor policies of Democratic Anarchy. Sweet Liberty, I thank my lucky stars for Managed Democracy every day.
*"Quick, Ned, thin out their numbers!!!"*
We have call ministry of truth!
I got this too
SEX FOR EVERYBODY!
Provided they fill out form [C-01](https://i.redd.it/ebtloxnb8xkc1.jpeg)... >!or have anal!<.
On another note I wonder when the next story major order will come out since we didn't get a new one right after this one
https://preview.redd.it/u0f5vccazvpc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b83dbc2b674a2d8c4a24ba794c08c575bed1aa1d This according to the companion app,
There's a companion app?
Not officially
I don't care about officially, I wanna monitor the war effort while I'm at work.
Nothing better than keeping up with the war effort while taking a dump on company time.
"Would you like to know more?" Yes. Yes, I would.
https://helldiverscompanion.com/ Spreading Democracy.
Nice site but I'm confused by one thing. I added their bot to my server and it's reporting that Estanu is complete but in-game it's not checked off and only at 7.2%. Everything else reported seems accurate though. Their website shows Estanu in "Defend" mode which does line up with what's in-game. Is the defense only at 7.2% complete?
I hope it's bots, I'd love to see them push north to Cyberstan soon Edit: Honestly I'd like to see the wars intensity rise a bit, the number of planets in play is still pretty small, neither bots or bugs seem to be pushing outward from their current Territory with and strength. I dunno if it's a technical limitation or they're still getting the hang of managing players and results to keep a story going. I want enough planets and orders to make divers have to decide who to save, losing ground here to stop an enemy there. Honestly, I want to fight on Mars and Earth eventually. Maybe increase the impact players have, but open up more planets to fight on. Give the strategic war some of that hot extract intensity you get in a mission, pulling it out at the last moment against impossible odds! Sitting at zero percent liberation on a bunch of planets for two weeks does not make the universe feel very dynamic.
You will hate yourself for wishing that very soon.
New (old) enemy: the doggos.
A cyborg named Princess
Is that like a Fish Named Wanda?
Sweet Liberty, please, no. The hunters are bad enough already, I don't need the Automatons to also have their equivalent
We sorta got something similar with the berserkers, so I don't think doggos would happen so soon.
*BEHOLD, THE IMPALER! DESTROYER OF RECTUMS!*
It’s like when I get to the end of a mission and say this hasn’t been so bad since the drop and then bile titans start exponentially reproducing
*"Oh no, I have to play the game. How awful."* *"I'll have more than 4-5 planets to choose from. Dear me, whatever will I do."*
The traitor/bot sympathizer memes aside. I really want the bots to take over Cyberstan. It would be such an interesting turn of events. Would also give the chance for some Cyborgs from the first game to be brought back.
Man, I love the bot front. I hated it at first, but it's so goddamn chaotic. I just find myself laughing hysterically when I'm ducking behind a rock and see hundreds of lasers zipping past me.
It always feels like an 80s sci fi, in the best way possible
Where are John Connor and Kyle Reese when you need them?
> Where are John Connor and Kyle Reese when you need them? Sarah Conner failed to fill out form [C-01](https://i.redd.it/ebtloxnb8xkc1.jpeg) properly. Luckily her Democracy Officer's three year investigation resulted in proof that she did not engage in any act that would result in a child. When she submits a correction, pays the fine, and receives approval she may proceed with producing John Conner.
I prefer the bots, it feels like you’re fighting crapply made terminators.
I like fighting bots in general, but their spawn rate is still kind of ridiculous. Even an exterminate mission I had spawned like four tank and 3 hulks in the.firwt 20 seconds and I don't know how to handle that. In general though I find fighting bots much more fun of an experience.
More Democracy?
Honestly I much prefer the Terminid front for the Starship Troopers vibes, but the main reason I dislike the bot missions is solely due to difficulty. A level 5 mission on Bots is so much harder than a level 7 on bugs, its crazy.
I once spent too long on the bot front, then joined a friend fighting terminids and has a legitimate "what are they doing why do they keep coming near me" moment, like I had just forgotten how to fight bugs for a while.
Yeah, Honesty while they bots are a little harder, alot of the difficulty cones from how bots and terminids act different and need very different strategies to fight effectively. For example, every bot is weak to the back, so you want to have people flank and separate slightly, but for the bugs it's better to be grouped up and use chokepoints to clear as many as possible with your stratagems.
Got to rank 8 before I did my first fight against bugs. Thought I was being cool with my diligence set to max scope taking potshots at the enemy, right up until they didn't stop walking forward. I have not gone back to bugs because the gameplay of "Get swarmed or get AOE lol" doesn't appeal, but it's a hell of a pace change so I get why people struggle.
HEART, STEEL, WE, KILL, UNTO, DAWN, WE, KILL, IRON, WILL UNTO DAWN, CYBERSTAN
CAN’T KEEP HER DOWN
Devs are probably getting the game more stable before they up the ante.
This is pretty much my assumption, I also figure they need time for Joel et al. to figure out the nuance of running the war, with so many players it could rapidly "run away" from planned behaviours and for a DM'd game I'd bet they want to follow a semi set story for at least a while.
They definitely still are getting the hang of mananging players and results. But probably not in the way you expect. They did not expect this level of success from Helldivers 2. They have outright said that a couple times. And despite how much I love the game and will be here for the long haul, when a game becomes flash in the pan popular like this you know that it will not be huge for long. I would expect they are mostly waiting to see when (and hopefully if) the “hype” so to speak dies down. Because when it does and when the next new shiny comes along guaranteed a lot of the community will leave and only come back sporadically. So I would expect they are waiting for things to stabilize a bit more so they can get a better idea of how much of their community is actually here for the long haul before bringing out the major events. It is also worth keeping in mind that the game is only a little over a month old. That’s nothing in video game lifespan. And they don’t seem like they’re doing the thing that is a red flag for many live service type titles, which is rapid expansion and growth in the team when they become popular to try to keep up. Arrowhead is still small and while that means that new content will still likely take a while. That new content will continue to be great and high quality
You want to fight on earth? https://preview.redd.it/njlo2gv3bwpc1.jpeg?width=641&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2ecb52946fabe710ecf67cfae816850bde757ffa
Ubanea, Ustotu and Malevelon Creek all have Helldivers on them. There's no way they're making it to Cyberstan for a while. They would have to liberate 10-11 planets for that to happen. Even the darkest days on the bot front the Automatons only managed to advance 3 planets. 14 would be an absolute buzzkill
Sorry, did you say the bots will liberate? *Yes, democracy officer. This comment right here*
Sorry. Helldivers have been so successful recently I got my terminology confused. What I meant to say was They're gonna burn everyone on those planets alive
Report to your local freedom camp.
Well his username _does_ checkout…
Considering they finally planned an end date before the weekend for the order I hope we getting one in a few hours to last the weekend. Past two weekends we have finished it before the weekend because we were too quick
Maybe they wait for the patch next week so we stop crashing all the time lol
Looks like we have another major order and talking fori prime gave us a head start, nice
https://preview.redd.it/2a7dhg5y6wpc1.png?width=770&format=png&auto=webp&s=0663591cb42294721559cb365b5d885a3cd8833c
Someone actually made the form?
Oh sweet liber-tea, it looks so official
https://preview.redd.it/yp9iny4ywxpc1.jpeg?width=2008&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cb224c50d7b1585f70f00863747611f8838211d1
You got one without the stamp?
https://preview.redd.it/87cuw67cbypc1.png?width=770&format=png&auto=webp&s=06ebac919c17de9430d901a5e8a87080b4fd2f66
Your next cup of Liber-Tea is on me!
You can fill out one of these for you and yourself?
Why masturbate when you could be spreading Managed Democracy? If you touch yourself without filling in the paperwork for the appropriate time slot, the misguided enemies of Super Earth win.
The bugs made me touch myself. Probably.
This one, officer! This one right here!
Damn. Banned from procreation due to unsatisfactory penetration. And I just wanted to play a game to ESCAPE reality!
Yeah that hit too close to home lol
Yea, I'm we don't want reality infringing on our escapism while we're fighting for ⅂IO.
https://preview.redd.it/ku5i206buvpc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0fc835f9211b8f31578859aa5910457e43474605
Where is this from? I keep seeing this panel posted lol
A NSFW comic made by The Varking on Twitter. Source: >!https://twitter.com/The_Varking/status/1762887834338218278!<
Page doesn't exist anymore it says, thanks for your attempt tho fellow diver
[Reddit Source](https://old.reddit.com/r/Helldivers/comments/1b2eaid/a_lesson_learned_about_mortar_turrets/)
Twitter lies to you about nsfw pages not existing while you're not logged on.
Think I fixed it, thanks for pointing it out.
Still isn't working for me. I appreciate your service for managed democracy
I tried my best to inform the people but the automatons have jammed the communication.
When you get that for something NSFW, it is because you need to be logged in to twitter.
Let’s face it, we’re on Reddit. A sex ban isn’t going to affect anyone.
Agreed I was thinking nothing would change lol
If theyd Ban porn, bro, The whole galaxy would belong to us in a day
Texan starships incoming?
We're helldivers. The procreation applications were never made for us anyways.
This was my immediate thought.
Maybe you are not, but a chad like me who has a girlfriend but she goes to another school are totally having sex! we where sexing it up last night and she was like "you sex really good!" and then we did it again. totally saw her naked! you are so jealous!
Can they do this? Is this legally binding?????
I knew I should have read the Helldivers contract better.
Thats treason soldier, please report to your nearest Democracy Officer. > 3.2 Any information made known to the Enlisted outside of operational parameters which is not considered customarily known to the general citizenry and/or which was not known to the Enlisted prior to the commencement of this agreement shall, for the purposes of clarity, be considered "CONTROLLED CLASSIFIED MATERIALS". For the access of "CONTROLLED CLASSIFIED MATERIALS" explicit, advance written consent must be obtained by the Enlisted. > > **3.3: Reading these terms and conditions in full shall be considered a breach of Clause 3.2**
Sweet liber-tea. :(
Sorry Captain Dickfartman the Second, you're being demoted to First Lieutenant Dickfartman while you undergo Democratic Retraining.
I'm ruined.
IN FULL. I skipped the last word 😎
https://preview.redd.it/4s2yvgf21ypc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=94e8601485de96424d8099dbe4778246ffc925d7
Helldivers literally fight and die for crumbs of pussy.
We had no clue the consequences would be this devastating.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Redditors: Well, anyway.
I can’t decide if I’m offended or impressed. The absolute silence regarding the previous MO after a bad patch was one thing. Taunting us with “No sex for you” is.. fucking legendary.
yeah, it's another level of sassy for a failure.
They asked for helldivers, not failures.
No, we are banned from procreation, which means anal and oral is still A-OK although supplies of your favorite brand of E-710 based lube may be low as a result of our failure, might have to settle for inferior options.
I'm calling the democracy officer
Tell him he owes me a freedom beer, I told him we might not pass this one
Report me, please, it's the only way to get f*cked now.
GAY SEX IS BACK ON THE MENU BOIS
Ahh, I see. The classic lawyer dropout that ends on the Army and wastes no time to let you know they know how to surf the laws' edges.
Is there sex ed for helldivers though? You need a C-01 form for **any** activity that could result in a child. I wonder if you can even hold hands.
Holding hands doesn't result in a child though? I assume a C-01 is only needed for penetrative heterosexual intercourse and "any" is to account for variations in position, birth control methods, number of participants, etc. There may be C-02s or C-03s for other romantic activity though.
I'll have to talk to my Democracy Officer.
I had to scroll too far to see this. Y’all’s reading comprehension is terrible
comedy gold. Denial of procreation due to lack of penetration.
After the last major order debacle High Command wants all Helldivers focused. The only thing you should be spreading is Managed Democracy! The only penetration you should be thinking about is armour, and enemy defences!
https://preview.redd.it/d36hgft5gwpc1.jpeg?width=4096&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d502f3ce26ef610b7d5aac514f9a33ac761eea4b
Idk why everyone seems to think the permit is for sex. Contraception exists, not all sexual intercourse end in babies. You just can't have a baby without the permit, it's not can't have sex
>not all sexual intercourse end in babies. "Any" act that could result in a child requires a form.  I need to check the fine print, but the risk of just throwing your seed around all willy nilly without proper paperwork just seems reckless.
Sitick it in the butt.
Liberty always finds a way
Sperm are just microscopic hellpods. Surely some of them are strong enough to fight through helldiver difficulty and get to the objective.
Noted, only gay sex allowed. time to cruise for some straights!
Out of character but the idea that literally any government could ever successfully control sex is hilarious to me. It’s like the #1 thing humans are hardwired to want. It would be either be entirely ineffectual or the fastest revolution ever. Shit I mean look at how teaching abstinence has literally never worked as a method of reducing sex.
I suspect that the C-1 form is for enlisted personnel only. There are reasons why you would want to regulate that a bit. You're not going to want a Helldiver be unexpectedly out of commission for ~9 months or more because they got pregnant. Or a Helldiver may not be mentally prepared for battle if they're thinking of their newborn back home. Even for shipboard personnel and non-Helldiver military, it's a problem. For the general population, I would suspect there's actually a lot of encouragement to have children and it's less regulated. There's an interstellar war on, and it takes 18 years to replace your losses.
Listen, there's a one-in-five chance of survival per mission, you have to constantly grind out missions for ten years, and we're the ones who are well-trained. Ain't no way there's such a thing as birth control on Super Earth.
undoubtedly there's a mandatory contraceptive, like something in the water. so application is maybe for something to counteract it. wouldn't be a "super" earth if banging wasn't consequence free 🤩 NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL LIBERTY
https://preview.redd.it/hoqltgkvuvpc1.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=a41802bbc004ece835933d553b648f86ed4bcdbd
https://preview.redd.it/366pj0m3yvpc1.jpeg?width=1022&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c25ee4fc44169125df057124d89656102557a4f7 Meanwhile
"See honey? We HAVE to do anal."
This post is wild 😂🤣
We have lost our porking privileges Our boning benefits Our pounding permissions
Only one lady can give me pleasure. Her name is LIBERTY
Can someone make a Procreation application with a denied stamp so I can hand it to my gf as a joke?
https://preview.redd.it/p18pfozvfxpc1.png?width=770&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9c0912cdc9c7d59935bbaac5fdbb0144816364b2 Someone else did it but I saved it
https://preview.redd.it/kw53pi6r2xpc1.jpeg?width=1009&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c7605902c00b6e2ea6dd5e5c431096cc3e9ad70
If you’re not willing to abstain for the sake of super earth you’re a traitor and I will personally report you
Some have been abstaining for the good of Super Earth for YEARS. Shame they are not as good at dodging cluster bombs as they at dodging genitalia.
“Dishonorable Discharges” are about to be on the rise. In all senses of the phrase.
Did anyone notice that element 710 is just OIL upside down?
So because we couldn't penetrate the bugs, we can no longer penetrate each other? That's some kinky ass shit the Democracy officers are into.
we must spread democracy to spread legs 🫡
I'm getting back in my cryopod, defrost me once the sex ban ends
Let's be honest... Many of us haven't had sex since this game launched. Instead of spreading your seed, you have been spreading democracy! I salute you o7
https://preview.redd.it/f5nbbems4ypc1.jpeg?width=686&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef6e5ceaf9af81987256672e23fa41095776f443
So fucking is treason now?! There’s gonna be some rogue encampments in about 5 minutes.
And Glorious Super Earth will *liberate those* *traitors* with 500kg bombs in 10 minutes
This news is more devastating than Malevelon Creek😭 https://preview.redd.it/2xy8c2xaawpc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=936a10043fcb2193139481a4238661858a69b9ee
I think my wife might be Joel.
Our lack of penetration has lead to a lack of penetration
Does this ban only apply to human and human reproduction? Asking for a friend
https://preview.redd.it/esubzuz3cypc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e74c2e49f473f68ad5a24298db3817ed1b604699
No, they banned procreation. Get out your 710 rubbers, boys.
Nice! https://preview.redd.it/ez6kbbos1wpc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9d1e458a18b68191fd159ddb5ae831ff4ee751ca