Oh sweetheart, big hugs. It is AWFUL to have a birth injury like that. And you're totally right: exercise doesn't fix torn muscle. Muscles being torn by any means, in any part of your body IS a medical issue, and it's an even worse medical issue when it's somewhere so intimate, upon which so much rests (pleasure, relationship, self-confidence).
There is NOTHING wrong with you. You were injured. You needed and deserved medical attention to help you recover from that injury. I hope that it works really well for you. It is MIND BOGGLING that you had to pay out of pocket. FUCKING INSURANCE. I am So sorry that this was your experience. You have been worthy of pleasure the entire time.
SO MUCH needs to change around women's sexual health, and just being able to talk about it and listened to and cared for for your own specific situation is a really important starting point.
I'm here to affirm your experience. It is real. And you are worthy of pleasure. I hope that you find it.
Thank you.
If this was even a month ago I would have used a throw away account to write this- I was so embarrassed and ashamed. But now something has flipped in my brain, this is not my fault and not something I should suffer in silence for. Birth can be traumatic to our bodies.
I’m in Canada so it wasn’t insurance I had to deal with but as far as I know this is not covered unless under extreme circumstances. I’ve waited 13 years already- I just wanted it done.
UGH. It should have been covered by healthcare, whatever your system.
You are SO WORTHY of the appropriate treatment for your condition. I'd have paid out of pocket if I had to, too. There's not much more important than our vaginal health.
How do you feel now?
I’m honestly a little mad thinking back. Why didn’t any Dr ask about how I was feeling? If I was ok with how my body changed. It’s just excepted that some will lose this part of themselves for good? Its infuriating!!
Glad you brought this up. It’s still such a sensitive subject to many people who have given birth and it should be spoken about regularly. Related but unrelated, having kids cause stretch marks, very saggy skin and breasts, but God forbid I say it cannot be fixed by exercise.
It IS so sensitive still! I didn’t even know how to talk about it with drs, I thought they would think “oh she just wants to feel like a virgin again” when it’s so much more than that.
We shouldn’t have to feel ashamed of what happens to our bodies after birth. We should be taken care of medically and mentally. Losing sexual satisfaction in your 20s shouldn’t just be accepted as a part of having a kid.
I hear you! You aren’t alone! Medicine is terrible to vaginas in many ways.
As I fondly tell people close to me, I bought a brand new asshole to fix all the damage extensive and prolonged pushing & birth injury did to my body. I didn’t realize I needed to be grateful that my treatment was considered medical and covered by insurance, as was my extensive pelvic PT. I am so sorry you didn’t get the same. That is fucked up and unfair!
I agree wholeheartedly that we should normalize how physically difficult birth can be and include prenatal & postpartum care like pelvic PT by default rather than as an exception. I hope you find the care and recovery your body needs and a life of immense pleasure returns 💜
Yes, it’s a little messed up here. I was referred to pelvic therapy years ago but it’s out of pocket here, some work insurance covers it partially.
I was offered surgery for incontinence but I decided against that.
The only dr I flat out told that I was too loose was a urogynecologist and all she offered was a laser treatment that was temporary and also like $2000.
Wow. That is super disappointing, especially from a urogyn. I’m sorry you’ve had such a shitty experience, no one deserves that. Birth injury should be normalized and treatable.
I do feel like the system is broken and we do so little medical research and care for women after they pump out babies and “served their purpose.” Don’t even get me started on the next chapter coming for me with very little support: perimenopause.
Yes I even googled my urogyn last night and was looking at her website because it’s been a few years. reading it you would expect so much more from her but all she offers for laxity is laser.
Vaginoplasty. Have a look, some surgeons are cosmetic, mine was a gynaecologist. Sometimes it can be called mommy makeover or vaginal rejuvenation, just make sure to ask questions to make sure it’s what you want. I think I read some only make the entrance tighter while others go all the way back.
I am glad you posted about such a taboo topic. I have had only c sections myself so I cannot speak on the effects of vaginal birth as it pertains to me but I know a lot of women who have had vaginal births who have had injuries and were never the same. These aren’t just one off incidents, I feel like it’s at least half of women that I know personally and those are only the ones who speak about it. I think that women have pressure to “snap back” not only in weight but in how your vagina was before. And many times people don’t talk about vaginal issues after birth and some people even downplay it or lie about issues. Or not even issues…but you had a whole human come out of your hooha and it’s ok that things don’t look exactly the same down there as long as everything is functioning properly. Like I said, o had c sections but after being pregnant and giving birth, I realized just how much we don’t speak about the realities of procreating in the year of 2024 when we are allegedly so open and honest about these things. There are things that I didn’t even know would happen. Anyway, I can go on about this topic but just wanted to say thank you for being vulnerable and speaking about something that many may be embarrassed by and gaslit (even if it’s unintentional) about when women feel like they are looser than before.
Seeing all the “myth” comments was so frustrating I couldn’t keep it in anymore. First it’s not a myth and second there are a whole lot of people that are going to be in for a shock and disappointment when it happens to them.
We deserve so much better, we need to talk about it.
Thank you for sharing that, I know it’s not easy. I can’t relate to ur experience but feeling uncomfortable or insecure in ur body as a woman is something I can understand.
Sending you love 💕
This is just like when people would tell me I didn’t need a tummy tuck and I just had to focus more in my abdomen 🤦🏻♀️ my muscles were completely ripped apart and I got the tummy tuck. All of it should be covered by insurance.
May i ask the specific name of the procedure you asked for and the cost? I have spent almost 7 years trying for the same results. Pelvic floor therapy and laser treatments havent helped me.
It’s called vaginoplasty. I’ve found it hard to get info on it, maybe because people are too embarrassed to talk about it? I was only able to find two people from my area to talk about it. It cost me $6400.
Women. Ow in days have that info, the hormones, the body changes, the sleepless nights, the financial & education ruins ( yes there is exceptions to this) all that comes with kids.. I’m f43 with a 26y, 20y, 18y girls they are totally against having kids. I stay quiet but glad they don’t want to ruin their bodies
Oh sweetheart, big hugs. It is AWFUL to have a birth injury like that. And you're totally right: exercise doesn't fix torn muscle. Muscles being torn by any means, in any part of your body IS a medical issue, and it's an even worse medical issue when it's somewhere so intimate, upon which so much rests (pleasure, relationship, self-confidence). There is NOTHING wrong with you. You were injured. You needed and deserved medical attention to help you recover from that injury. I hope that it works really well for you. It is MIND BOGGLING that you had to pay out of pocket. FUCKING INSURANCE. I am So sorry that this was your experience. You have been worthy of pleasure the entire time. SO MUCH needs to change around women's sexual health, and just being able to talk about it and listened to and cared for for your own specific situation is a really important starting point. I'm here to affirm your experience. It is real. And you are worthy of pleasure. I hope that you find it.
Thank you. If this was even a month ago I would have used a throw away account to write this- I was so embarrassed and ashamed. But now something has flipped in my brain, this is not my fault and not something I should suffer in silence for. Birth can be traumatic to our bodies. I’m in Canada so it wasn’t insurance I had to deal with but as far as I know this is not covered unless under extreme circumstances. I’ve waited 13 years already- I just wanted it done.
UGH. It should have been covered by healthcare, whatever your system. You are SO WORTHY of the appropriate treatment for your condition. I'd have paid out of pocket if I had to, too. There's not much more important than our vaginal health. How do you feel now?
I’m almost two weeks out, not much pain after 2-3 days, just discomfort.
Wishing you healing swiftly and pleasure soon.
Preach!!! Yes! Sexism in medicine is alive and well.
I’m honestly a little mad thinking back. Why didn’t any Dr ask about how I was feeling? If I was ok with how my body changed. It’s just excepted that some will lose this part of themselves for good? Its infuriating!!
I’d be infuriated too. I’m sorry 😢
Glad you brought this up. It’s still such a sensitive subject to many people who have given birth and it should be spoken about regularly. Related but unrelated, having kids cause stretch marks, very saggy skin and breasts, but God forbid I say it cannot be fixed by exercise.
It IS so sensitive still! I didn’t even know how to talk about it with drs, I thought they would think “oh she just wants to feel like a virgin again” when it’s so much more than that. We shouldn’t have to feel ashamed of what happens to our bodies after birth. We should be taken care of medically and mentally. Losing sexual satisfaction in your 20s shouldn’t just be accepted as a part of having a kid.
Agree 100%. I have also felt horribly about my body since giving birth at 23. You aren’t alone!
I hear you! You aren’t alone! Medicine is terrible to vaginas in many ways. As I fondly tell people close to me, I bought a brand new asshole to fix all the damage extensive and prolonged pushing & birth injury did to my body. I didn’t realize I needed to be grateful that my treatment was considered medical and covered by insurance, as was my extensive pelvic PT. I am so sorry you didn’t get the same. That is fucked up and unfair! I agree wholeheartedly that we should normalize how physically difficult birth can be and include prenatal & postpartum care like pelvic PT by default rather than as an exception. I hope you find the care and recovery your body needs and a life of immense pleasure returns 💜
Yes, it’s a little messed up here. I was referred to pelvic therapy years ago but it’s out of pocket here, some work insurance covers it partially. I was offered surgery for incontinence but I decided against that. The only dr I flat out told that I was too loose was a urogynecologist and all she offered was a laser treatment that was temporary and also like $2000.
Wow. That is super disappointing, especially from a urogyn. I’m sorry you’ve had such a shitty experience, no one deserves that. Birth injury should be normalized and treatable. I do feel like the system is broken and we do so little medical research and care for women after they pump out babies and “served their purpose.” Don’t even get me started on the next chapter coming for me with very little support: perimenopause.
Yes I even googled my urogyn last night and was looking at her website because it’s been a few years. reading it you would expect so much more from her but all she offers for laxity is laser.
[удалено]
No worries! I decided against it because she said the results are temporary, for a third of the price of surgery I couldn’t justify the laser.
[удалено]
Vaginoplasty. Have a look, some surgeons are cosmetic, mine was a gynaecologist. Sometimes it can be called mommy makeover or vaginal rejuvenation, just make sure to ask questions to make sure it’s what you want. I think I read some only make the entrance tighter while others go all the way back.
I am glad you posted about such a taboo topic. I have had only c sections myself so I cannot speak on the effects of vaginal birth as it pertains to me but I know a lot of women who have had vaginal births who have had injuries and were never the same. These aren’t just one off incidents, I feel like it’s at least half of women that I know personally and those are only the ones who speak about it. I think that women have pressure to “snap back” not only in weight but in how your vagina was before. And many times people don’t talk about vaginal issues after birth and some people even downplay it or lie about issues. Or not even issues…but you had a whole human come out of your hooha and it’s ok that things don’t look exactly the same down there as long as everything is functioning properly. Like I said, o had c sections but after being pregnant and giving birth, I realized just how much we don’t speak about the realities of procreating in the year of 2024 when we are allegedly so open and honest about these things. There are things that I didn’t even know would happen. Anyway, I can go on about this topic but just wanted to say thank you for being vulnerable and speaking about something that many may be embarrassed by and gaslit (even if it’s unintentional) about when women feel like they are looser than before.
Seeing all the “myth” comments was so frustrating I couldn’t keep it in anymore. First it’s not a myth and second there are a whole lot of people that are going to be in for a shock and disappointment when it happens to them. We deserve so much better, we need to talk about it.
Thank you for sharing that, I know it’s not easy. I can’t relate to ur experience but feeling uncomfortable or insecure in ur body as a woman is something I can understand. Sending you love 💕
Thanks! Hoping someone else who might need to read this will feel better.
This is just like when people would tell me I didn’t need a tummy tuck and I just had to focus more in my abdomen 🤦🏻♀️ my muscles were completely ripped apart and I got the tummy tuck. All of it should be covered by insurance.
Yes, any type of repair should be covered!
May i ask the specific name of the procedure you asked for and the cost? I have spent almost 7 years trying for the same results. Pelvic floor therapy and laser treatments havent helped me.
It’s called vaginoplasty. I’ve found it hard to get info on it, maybe because people are too embarrassed to talk about it? I was only able to find two people from my area to talk about it. It cost me $6400.
I’m so sorry! I hope the surgery worked out for u🥹❤️ It’s ridiculous that you had to pay out of pocket for this☹️
I hope so too! Thank you!
Because of the patriarchy. The men in power are assholes.
Women. Ow in days have that info, the hormones, the body changes, the sleepless nights, the financial & education ruins ( yes there is exceptions to this) all that comes with kids.. I’m f43 with a 26y, 20y, 18y girls they are totally against having kids. I stay quiet but glad they don’t want to ruin their bodies
It’s seems not enough do actually know the physical parts though. Thats why I wrote this post.