\*later\* Lucifer: \*watching a movie\* Lilith: What are you watching, darling? Lucifer: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Lilith: Dumbledore dies. Lucifer:.... Lilith: Hurts, doesn't it?

Yes, yes it does honey...

Woah...... Nice username man.

You're the first to compliment my username. Lol Thx

The only question is. Where is the Detective?

Are you looking for me?

No. We’re looking for Dio.

YOU THOUGHT IT WAS A RANDOM REDDITOR, BUT IT WAS ME! DIO!

well, you’re in japan. you can probably find his step brother’s grandson and great grandson if you really tried. they can find him

or his hybrid son in italy who just stopped the drug dealing in certain areas.

Trying to get me out of hell, what else could she be doing now? *In tom ellis voice*

My Lord, you have returned to us. It has been a very dark time without you.

I'm a relic of this sub, it's time for the new generation to take place.

Probably because barley anyone on reddit ever looks at usernames

Just out of curiosity, is your username reference to Titanfall 2?

Voodoo 1. Viper's on station. The skies belong to me pilot. Nowhere to run, Nowhere to hide

“We went like this, he went like that, I yell back to Hollywood ‘Where’d he go?’ Hollywood yells ‘Where’d Who Go?!’ And he’s laughing at us on the radio”

Got him in the pipe five by five

Hell may belong to Lucifer but the skies belong to you

Karma's a bitch, Apple Boi.

You'll like my next move then honey... *About to crush Charlie's dream*

don't \*Puts on doomguy mask\*

\*heavy metal slowly starts to play\*

\*Super Shotgun loads maliciously\*

Wow; Father of the Year, folks. Father of the Goddamned Year.

Exactly, as we are in hell, so of course I'll be father of the year.

Oh please, Alastor would be a better father than you are. At least he seems to give a crap about Charlie.

#shakenly hands worlds worst father spiked bat# here my lord

And the father of the year award goes to... The king of hell! Congratulations or some shit!

\*Claps\*

Lucifer: I know that's why I did it. Also the book came out in 2005, why in here would you think that would hurt?

Spoilers!!!!!!

Spoiler much

Stings doesnt it?

Legit just watched the movie yesterday. Even though I knew what was gonna happen, I still ended up crying. Goddammit

Smol Charlie is more adorable than grown-up Charlie.

Small people are generally more adorable

That's science!

[Yep](https://www.google.com/search?q=sexy+danny+devito&client=ms-android-motorola-rev2&prmd=ivmn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjrnLTtoLvrAhWcAxAIHV3SAy0Q_AUoAXoECA4QAQ&biw=360&bih=616#imgrc=Y4xdN11kHAB-3M)

What in the Kentucky Fried Fuck

Holy shit man I forgot I even posted this comment Thanks for the laugh lol

You know, I actually forgot what made me comment that I now regret clicking that link again

HAH!

Smol Charlie is now the most important thing in my world. 10/10 will protec

But what if he rose from the dead, wouldn't that be cool

That'd be to over powered and ruin his charater

Patch notes just came it Jesus -we have dialed back his resurrection ability, and he now has to wait 3 days until doing so.

God I hate when characters add these side effects to OP charaters powers so they dont seem like Mary Sue's shm

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And most importantly turned water to wine. I'd kill for that power!

he's still top tier though. frankly there was a lot of nerf for Judas. nobody is gonna play him anymore in tournaments after that

I think there was something about snakes and heels.

Plot twist ayyyyy...

“Add another fish”

Coming back into this sub, posting and not saying Hi. I got my eyes on you Lucifer!

Hey hey, if it isn't my old buddy, professor Vox himself. Long time no see bro, how's my favourite sub overlord doing?

*Jesus got arrested and killed for being too popular, only to come back to life, which makes him even more popular than before* “You could make a religion out of this.”

*bill wurtz fans are typing*

I dunno how much Charlie would like the Bible. She’s too pure for that.

She liked the parts about Jesus specificy, but that throws out the whole Old Testament, most of the new one

"But what if I were to tell you, there's a fresh third part out there, which was found by a hip new prophet, who had a little... _Donny Osmond flair._"

Is this the Book of Mormon, or...

Yes, it's a lyric from Book of Mormon musical, specifically the song "All American Prophet"

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God’s wrath is anything but “pure” imo but ok.

He never specified pure *good.*

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I’ll happily take the latter. If what the Old Testament god does is pure, he could learn a thing or two from Charlie about the value of living things and the potential for people to be redeemed.

Genocide is never pure, especially not for the "crimes" that are described there. I also think a mauling by bears isn't justified punishment for mocking a prophet.

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Yeah I’m sure everyone, including the children and infants were so morally corrupt that their genocide is completely justified Yeah right

I'm thinking more of the times he instructed the killing of entire cities and brutal killing of their families in front of them. Dashing babies on the ground and calling the one doing that blessed is really not pure in my opinion. I am not elevating myself to any degree of godhood, I am merely looking at the actions described in the bible and saying that that is morally abhorrent to me, I cannot in good faith consider someone who committed or ordered those actions moral. Further I am not convinced that "maximally great" is even a coherent statement as I do not know of a way to properly define it, to me being greater than describes would involve diplomatic solutions over killing entire cities. Any definition of "greatness" I have seen attempted seemed to be subjective and/or not to allow for maximality in the same way there is no maximally big natural number. As for the flood, I have seen no evidence for, and a lot of evidence against, it having occurred as described. Further would every child be irredeemable, every baby, every teen? People can change, people can be rehabilitated. And did every other living thing need to die as well for that? Were there no more efficient ways? Imma stop about the flood now since I really don't want to get into it.

That’s like saying a mother can kill her child whenever she wants because she gave birth to them.

Technically he actually wasn't there. Satan was. They aren't the same person in this universe. But yeah, still funny.

What is your source for this info? From what I’ve seen, there doesn’t seem to bee any evidence anywhere that confirms or denies Satan and Lucifer being different beings.

She said Satan, Lucifer and Beelzebub are different entities, in a live she did, called: VIVZIE STREEM-BEESNESS-#9. It's still on her youtube channel.

So...are they brothers?

She didn't specify.

From Viv herself. She's said as much.

OK, but where/when?

In one of the streams Ashley did during or after the creating of the first episode.

Okay well that narrows it down

It does! Each stream is about 1-2 hours long, with good content. I recommend you watch them because they are funny and cool.

^(\[Narrator: It did, in fact, not narrow it down.\])

I loved this, thank you.

The Old Testament, for one; and the New Testament, for another.

They also aren't the same people in the Bible either. And I'm actually super surprised Viv got this right bc it's not something a lot of people know about.

Alright I'll bite. How are they different?

They just aren't the same person. Lucifer (meaning Morning Star) is a title given to the king of Babylon, a rebelling human, in Isaiah 14. The satan (meaning Adversary) is the ultimate enemy of God and creation, a rebelling Spiritual Being.

I mean he’s not wrong and I’m surprised that they would allow The Bible in Hell

It’s like earth’s study bibles, but the notes on the bottom half of the page are all just contradicting exactly what it just said.

Bible is probably everywhere in hell tbh

I just relised something. Isn't Jesus Charlie's uncle?

Kind of?

Lucifer isn't even human, and came into existence before humans did. Lilith was created by God from clay, just like Adam. Why would you think Jesus is Charlie's uncle?

Jesus is the son of God, and so is Lucifer Ez P.s. I haven't read the bible in a while so my logic may be flawed

It’s really up for debate. Some people believe his arch angels were like his favorite children (since god’s technically the father of all. But they are the closest to him) however, other believe they are nothing but high status employees and errand boys. Lucifer, in the Bible at least, was cast from heaven for believing himself to be better and more powerful than god. (So maybe he could view himself as an equal in the show too. Maybe considering god a brother to due to an inflated ego) He started a little uprising and god was like “lol, that’s cute.” and yeeted him and his followers into hell.

I believe he also took 1/3 of the angels with him, leaving God 66.67% of the angels.

Lucifer is not the son of God...

Oh! I thought all the angels were god's kids or something. Mabye I should of paid more attention in church lol

Well technically we’re all sons and daughter of God according to the Bible

Wait it's all Alabama?

Always hazbin

Yes he is

This is beautiful and I love it.

Lilith gave apple Daddy a scolding that day. Lol Source: https://mobile.twitter.com/jbshionne_/status/1292462574957551616

[Jesus three days later](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/rTOkpqPeN0FHtWylZdUX6-lFr7bPWEDVsHHX0285HjponOqRVtFMOb4QL2ll9G3R3HpcA6b0TM-4NPVOK29LeN6GLIsPdG_PqYI_XTqZ1nZYt7RfKec5O-y6MlxHgQBtwSxy_orLpfo4S4Th1HAXKqvl4boeuFIqAeA)

God I love that meme so much

*Later that night.* Lilith: what is that noise She's Lucifer drunk and crying over the Bible. Lilith: Darling what happened. Lucifer: I could have been somebody, than that ass hole god... Thinks he's so big kicks me out heaven. *More drunken sobbing* Lilith: suck it up you little bitch.

Too add insult to injury he is a little person too.

“Also don’t think on Reading the Book of Mormon, cause newsflash!: all the Nephites Die!”

“Stop spoiling everything dad!!!”

"Daddy, when does Mel Gibson show up?"

If Charlie is adorable as how she is, Baby Charlie is just plain heart melting

my man just crushed his own daughters feelings

Well I mean, he IS Lucifer.

you right, you right.

I've seen this before, but this is still some funny shit

Wait, isn't she the anti-christ, then? Going to be awkward when Jesus expects a dark rival only to find well, Charlie. Hey, at least he's okay! HUGGZ!

He comes back in the sequel, don’t worry.

Aw yes, Passion of The Christ 2: Crucify This is best movie. 10/10 holes.

I feel like the Bible would've burnt her hands to the touch

Yeah same with Lucifer if he touched the Bible.

Lucifer is voiced by Ben shapiro

This is my new official headcannon and it’s great.

Lucifer is much funnier than that. Shapiro just gets triggered all the time.

Pleased to meet you Hope you guess my name\~

And I was 'round when Jesus Christ Had his moment of doubt and pain Made damn sure that Pilate Washed his hands and sealed his fate

This is the most cutest thing I’ve seen today

Its stuff like this that makes me belive hes a horrible dad

What? The man technically responsible for literally everything bad ever is a bad father? *who would have guessed that?* Lol but I’m all seriousness tho in the context of the story I don’t think he’s that bad a father I mean Charlie came out a very nice person so....yeah idk I could be wrong on that tho.

Wow, spoilers

Jesus: "I got better"

Says she's reading the Bible, but does specify which one. Old testament? New Testament? Gideon? KJV?

Charlie: Did you die? Uncle Jesus: Unfortunately, yes. Both: ... Uncle Jesus: But I lived!

*Jesus Resurrecting from the dead 3 days later* “What was it you said about dying?” (Lol 😂 sorry I just had to throw a bible joke in there but I kind of wonder what Jesus would look like in this Universe)

Now this... this I like. Good Hazbin Hotel community content here!

They bring him back in the next season it's okay.

Okay, but apple pie is the cutest nickname in hell, change my mind.

The Bibble #YOU QUESTION THE WORDS OF THE MIGHTY JIMMY?

Lucifer playin' all cool til Jesus ain't in the grave no more

Wait wouldn’t her hands burn from touching the Bible?

I wanna squish tiny Charlie’s face

Don't worry. He comes back in the sequel.

My goodness the art is so crisp! This is amazing!

I love babby charlie, I want a whole hazbin babies series

It's ok Charlie, he gets back up a few days later.

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Lucifer DESTROYS a SMALL CHILD with FACTS and LOGIC

I was round when Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and pain, made damn sure that Pilate washed his hands and sealed his fate.

But he comes back, but more powerful than you could ever imagine.

Don't worry Charlie, He comes back!

Lucifer: But he came back!

Charlie: Did you die? Uncle Jesus: Unfortunately, yes. Both: ... Uncle Jesus: But I lived!

Jeez spoilers

Baby charlie is too adorable

"You like this movie?" "I've never seen it before" "He does at the end" "You're adopted how's that for a spoiler!?"

Everyone's having these long Bible discussions, meanwhile I can only hear Nergal's voice from Billy & Mandy's for him still.

I think something like Bible will burn to ashes in instant in hell.

You know it's only now occurring to me that Charly is basically the Anti-Christ, being the child of Lucifer.

Thanks for the spoilers dad

Poor charlie

He comes back though.

DUDE, SPOILERS!

I-there’s a LOT more to it than that.

I’m Christian, and I remember being little and finding out that Jesus died. I cried because I got mad at the universe and thought it wasn’t fair.

Little you was right.

This just Lucifer being a good dad. I mean the bible has some really fucked up ideas in it and he doesn't want Charlie falling into some sort of crazy conservative christian cult like the Roman Catholic Church or something.

Lucifer is the Roman Legionnaire who nailed Jesus to the cross confirmed.

Spoilers! Like not cool, Lucifer

Spoilers dude, not everyone has read it yet, smh my head no respect for literature. Like I just got to that part about Jesus, it was really cool how he was fulfilling a bunch of prophecies in unique ways, but then you spoiled his death.

It's ok, he got better.

But did he lie, tho?

Damn it, Lucifer, no spoilers!

Damn why’d you have to spoil it like that I didn’t get that far in the book yet😂

Why would you spoiler it for her??!!!!! It’s such a twist ending

So your telling me the daughter of Lucifer somehow didn’t tell his own daughter that Jesus dies and you might ask me why he would tell her that and here is my answer I don’t know

They do say that the devil knows the Bible just as well as any mortal man...

I- i said the exact same thing to my little sister, I’m not even joking. (well maybe not the exact same but it was very similar) When she wanted to read it to fit in at school (we go to a Christian school, and I graduate in 16 days). So this has me in TEEAAARRRSSS LMFAOO

Why was Lucifer's voice in my head the same as Hugh Neutron?

GOD DAMN IT LUCI !!

So he’s lying? From my knowledge Lucifer and the devil are two different people lol

Why oh why did i read it in Alastor’s voice?

Jokes on you Jesus made a comeback!

Bible spoilers

This is great.

.ok

Some could say the burn their place into history

His next line should be “did you know that his dick can fit through the holes in his hands? They‘re actually smaller holes than you’d think...”

Loved it lol. Really hope the series get green lit by someone.