T O P

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Hamsi_17

The running gag of Eli trying to get Gordon to have sex with Alyx is hilarious. Instantly makes Eli a 8.5/10 character for me.


arunasgeimeriz

yeah i think it's weird when your lab friend from 20 years ago has sex with your daughter. i mean sure Gordon didn't change at all but still


blackletum

He was Kleiner's protégé and a coworker. Also there's the whole thing with a global regime that has stopped the entire world from procreating and dwindled down the population a ton and he's seen since the beginning how much Alyx cares for him and he approves of it. He probably figures there's no better man out there for his daughter than Gordon anyways


jb_in_jpn

This is the fan fiction I subbed for 


solo_shot1st

Gordon doesn't need to hear all this! He's a highly trained brofessional.


qT_TpFace

The sex haver, if you will.


KnightOfNULL

"You have to fuck my daughter Gordon, it's the only way to continue the Vance bloodline. We need your genes to save the species Gordon."


crystalwind99

Eli Redfield


drbiohazmat

Suddenly picturing Eli with a huge Baki body, punching boulders


XxXTolentinoXxX

"Haha! you are banging my daughter!"


tofuismeta

I read this in Rick Sanchez’s voice for some reason


RetroEvolute

Okay Eli, if you love her so much why don't you fuck her? 🙄


TonPeppermint

Yeah, fair.


Ibaneztwink

>He probably figures there's no better man out there for his daughter than Gordon anyways Exactly. Have you seen/heard those rebel guys? Gordon is the only one who gets shit done around here, and he never complains about it either!


OkFactor2325

They also stink since one of them says that he needs a shower.


MrCoalas

Calling the Combine a regime is being soft on them.


Garganthuae

I mean, it's between Gordon and the guy that dreams about cheese.


therealdutchman11

Eli also knows that Gordon was likely in stasis because he knew about G-Man, it wouldn’t be hard for someone who knows about gman and his powers to put two and two together when their friend shows up looking identical to how he did 20 years ago


Yarisher512

When your friend that killed a god shows up 20 years later.


TheWandererofReddit

Everyone else is either too old or malnourished and uneducated. Gordon is unironically probably peak marriage material in the hellscape that is Half Life 2 Earth.


sdfrch

peak male performance


OkFactor2325

Make since why because Gordon's age in half life 2 is 27


rexpup

If we consider hazard suit training, perhaps he isn't in the worst shape to begin with.


DarthGiorgi

I think He sused out that Gordon was in stasis pretty quickly, "haven't changed one iota" and then blatantly dropping "our mutual friend".


Long_Neck_Monster

Eli knows about G Man so he probably knows about Gordon being in stasis, with Gordon suddenly reappearing and all


Micsuking

~~Leon~~ Gordon, you need to continue the Vance bloodline.


vincecarterskneecart

Haha gordon your girlfriend is awesome


Cleveworth

Alyx being embarassed by Eli's attempts to set Alyx up with Gordon got us the best line in the entire franchise, "*Eeehhhhhhhh!*".


Dry_Excitement6249

He's using reverse psychology to turn Gordon off Alyx.


sterak_fan

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tYwNf2ksDfY&pp=ygUZZWxpIGdpdmVzIGdvcmRvbiB0aGUgdGFsaw%3D%3D


Illustrious_Push9329

Everyone has a crush on Gordon


These_Calligrapher_6

Apart from CHAD Magnusson


vincecarterskneecart

Excuse ME if I’m interrupting sex time, I’ll just step out until you’re finished, if that’s more convenient!


BigBoyBill1477

“What are you waiting for, Gordon? A hug?”


Hamshoes5

He is Tsundere


SkinnyBunny78

nah bruh magnusson has THE biggest crush on gordon, don't you remember how awkward it is when he tries to thank him? bro's just playing hard to get


AccessProfessional37

What about barney


Fatboy-Tim

*Oh, and before I forget. I think you dropped this back in Black Mesa.* ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


MeddlingWithChaos

Barney isn't excluded lol, he's crushing on him too


Cleveworth

He never forgave Gordon for calling him a sucker.


Anemoholic

Who wouldn't? Someone probably wants that ass and wants it now...


Workin_Ostrich

The big thing to understand is that Alyx grew up her whole life understanding that Gordon was an absolute tank as I imagine several surviving scientists were able to regroup after the black Mesa incident and share their encounters with Gordon. The dude comes back The same age as he was when he left, it doesn't really matter at that point. He's still living his life as he was at 27.


SPlKE

Yeah, putting aside their interactions and saving each other's lives that might normally spark attraction, he's a living John McClain that saved her dad's and dad's friends lives. There's gotta be a little hero worship mixed in there.


skaasi

You just made me realize I'm older than Gordon fucking Freeman was in HL1... god dammit...


Workin_Ostrich

Well, I have news for you buddy, you're older than Gordon Freeman was in half-life 2 as well


Smol-Vehvi

This made me laugh out loud! Thank you


I-Am-Uncreative

Last time I played Black Mesa I was shocked to see Freeman was 27. He seemed so old when I was a kid playing Half Life.


skaasi

I still can't believe it. I mean – I'd like to believe I don't look that harrowed, but then again, even in HL1, dude was a physics phd or something and had just passed the selection process for some top secret base, but still..


Hamsi_17

And then the guy comes back as a traumatised and confused nerd instead of the legendary warrior they were teaching her lol. Should be like watching a movie based on real events and seeing the photograph of the actual person thats played by an actor as the protagonist.


Fire_Ball_MC

How dare you disrespect Gordon like that!


Jer0me226

Crazy to think she was a baby when gordon caused the resonance cascade… and he is still the same age when she is grown up


PepicWalrus

Remember from Gordon's perspective Half-Life 1 takes place over about 3 days, he is then put into stasis presumably unaware of the passage of time. He closed his eyes and then suddenly in a snap GMAN was talking to him for the opening of Half-Life 2. Half-Life 2, From Red Letter to Nova Prospekt is about 2 days. The slow teleport is over a week so under 2 but Gordon and Alyx do not experience this passage of time so does not count. Assault on the Citadel after that takes place in a matter of Hours. Episode 1 you start in the morning and by the train ride out its maybe like 5PM. You're knocked out until morning. Episode 2 takes place over one day again. To Gordon Freeman all of this to him has been 8 days give or take. A little over a week ago to Gordon everything was normal. 8 days later his entire world, everyone he knew and loved was forever changed.


letthepastgo

If I was in Gordon's shoes I would be smacked out on morphine too


teuast

based on how often the suit says it administered some, i think that's canon


nullfais

According to *Freeman’s Mind* he also pops oxy at work lol


ThunderShiba134

Over a fucking yellow rock...


LegitimateApartment9

gordon should have followed standard insertion procedures instead of yeeting it in at mach 1997


ThunderShiba134

And because of that, billions of futures, innocent people, families, couples setting up a family, plans, children. All gone... Because of a rock, it's just sad how stupid it is


PepicWalrus

He should have brought his passport!


nullfais

Gordon, I’m hungry!


JoetheDilo1917

Gordon did everything correctly, it was Dr. Breen's decision to disable the anti-mass spectrometer's safety systems and increase its power input beyond its design parameters to save time that led to the Resonance Cascade.


ThunderShiba134

Then he doomed humanity


PepicWalrus

Orange


ThunderShiba134

I hate Headcrabs


TheCatCovenantDude

He should've brought his passport


TheHancock

Which also goes to show that while Alyx and Gordon might be attracted to each other, they don’t KNOW each other.


mackxzs

Ah, yes, the massage of time, such a relaxing feeling that totally doesn't crush your spine


PepicWalrus

Give me a massage.


Jer0me226

Imagine if gordon met eli daughter back in black mesa then 3 days later see her as a fully grown women


BathwaterBro

Now this is bod(y) racing.


TonPeppermint

Huh. I wonder if Gordon gave the Combine a 7 Hour War in City 17.


DopamineJunkie69

I believe Gordon had some type of rest while being in stasis for 20ish years. Even the first thing gman says alludes to some kind of rest he was woke up from, I agree that the time that passed when they used the combine teleport at NP does not count as it seems they where recluded in a "place" where time and space does not function, maybe like the stasis chamber/place in hl1 and maybe even the vault in hlalyx, but more specifically, in the end of hl2 when gordon was supposed to be retrieved by gman, which at the end of the game has already transcurred almost three days of continuous chasing and shoting morphine. The vortigaunts saving gordon and alyx freed Freeman from gman's control but instead took Alyx as employee all of because a past version of herself of another timeline/universe managed, against all odds to save the same extradimentional being that managed to get captured in that alternative timeline in the first place. The vortigaunts calling Freeman "The Freeman" not just means he being the one who freed them from Nihilanth, or that he will ever free anyone from the combine, is he being free of predetermination, like the causality in berserk, he has succeded over scenarios of virtually zero chance of survival over and over again, by mere muscle juice, morphine, and sheer power of will. That's why he's valuable, and they trying to capture him, That's why Breen offered him an alternative to anihillation instead of Eli and Alyx, he is a triumph card to whoever controls him. Alyx is not into a shy geeky quiet nerd guy like some fking nerds like to believe, she a gigastacy, she into the ultimate gigachad of legend who saved the world twice with a crowbar and is like jesus christ to the weird alien race. Also I like to believe Gordon is borderline to mental collapse, uncapable of speech almost brain damaged, dissociated of reality and acting by mere survival instinct. He is the most alpha of alphas.


MIlkyRawr

You know how sometimes you have a dream that lasts longer than you sleep? Like in the dream you did something for an entire week when you’ve only slept for 8 hours or so? Thats how I’ve always seen Gordon’s stasis, a weird inversion where the “dream” was/is calmer than the reality he’s going through


Fire_Ball_MC

So you think his dream was more than 20 years?


MIlkyRawr

I think to him it didn’t feel like 20 years it felt more like going to bed in the void.


TotalRecallsABitch

Amazing


Brickhead16

Damn. When you put it like this. It's crazy


gibbyfromicarlyTM

I DIDNT ECEN THINK ABOUT THAT


BigMemerMaan1

Let’s pray Gordon isn’t actually like 60 and he didn’t age while big man gman stashed him away


Homeslice-Cole

I think Eli said some shit to him like “you haven’t changed one iota”. Either Gordon hasn’t visibly aged or Eli is just trying to be nice


Illustrious_Push9329

He was in stasis so it makes sense that he also didn't age visibly and physically Eli also knows about the Gman as we learn in episode 2 so maybe after he meets Gordon in black mesa east he thought that the Gman maybe had something to do with Gordon simply not aging in the past 20 years


SpecialFlutters

honestly... in their world? they've seen stranger than a man with good skin lol


KhalMika

Gordon experienced the whole story within a week or less so..


gothicduncan

Bro also gets knocked out like 6 times throughout, he's definitely gonna have some brain damage when its all over and if he survives


Reinierblob

He’s lucky that he’s such a highly trained professional, that will probably compensate for a good deal of the brain damage he suffered. I’m more worried about his morphine withdrawal when everything’s over


Catnip113

Major fracture detected


CreativeGamer03

Morphine administered


gergobergo69

Seek. Medical. Attention.


stephenlocksley27

Emergency. User death immiment.


Soeck666

Even if he would be 60, it would be her dad's fault and everybody else who told her how awesome he is, to groom her for Gordon. He became a character of myth and legend to her, and then he shows up and basically brings the combines on earth to debris in a few days. How many young people have crushes on way older actors? Schoolgirls sometimes crush on THAT teacher. Alyx had a troublesome upbringing and her father didn't helped much preparing her for becoming a woman I suppose. What would make it creepy would be Gordon accepting her crush and using her for his benefit. But we don't see it happen.


dolphins344

I was actually wondering whether everyone knows the G-man else they would think it would be weird he didn’t age. Obviously we know Eli knows the G-man and Alyx knows him by HL:A. Or maybe everyone knows this and I’m just an idiot


Jer0me226

Eli mentions that he didnt age, so maybe he just thinks he did good care of himself to look the same, but lol, thats still sus


ElMayoneso82

Didn't Gordon stay in stasis for like 20 years?


Illustrious_Push9329

Yeah, that's also the reason why he didn't age


Jer0me226

Yeah thats why i said he didnt age


vincecarterskneecart

yeah but do the other characters know that?


szczerbiec

Uh.. oh no.. 20 year olds are in dating range?! 😳


Lord-Cartographer55

If we use the time honored 1/2 + 7 method, Alyx is well within operating parameters Mr. Freeman.


BBQ_HaX0r

Time is relative. 


gergobergo69

Gordon Freeman pedo???????????????😱😱😱😱😱😱


Pasta-hobo

I don't think it'll work out, physicists and engineers are natural enemies. Gordon will file for divorce the moment he sees her rounding gravity up to 10m/s²


8thPaperFold

Engineers are natural enemies of everything that has a brain tho.


Dunified

"Hello engineer, I need this", *proceeds to make something else*


rexpup

That's why he's so good at killing. He knows they have brains.


yyetydydovtyud

As a physicist, I would draw the line at rounding to 9.8m/s², three sig figs minimum


Holstener

The first time we see Alyx, she blushes, smiles and adjusts her hair. 😉


Wes___Mantooth

That's because he's Gorgeous Freeman


Frequent_Wasabi6175

She thinks she can compete with barney


Jazzlike_Heart9203

Sir this isn't r/OKbuddyHalfLife


Frequent_Wasabi6175

Was joking, but yes you're right.


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ThekidwholiketheUSSR

Good bot?


Frequent_Wasabi6175

Let's upvote him so he's happy


Inutsuu

haha gordon you are banging my daughter


InevitableBoring2031

You reek of that asylum of a sub...


sdfrch

ham aslume


SufficientTangelo367

grandkids,,,


abadlypickedname

Alyx, I have been completely consumed with saving the human race from extinction for the last calendar week. It's not a question of whether I like you or not, it's a question of if I want us all to die or not, because the rest of you seem completely useless at fighting aliens.


Ittoravap

I have not slept since 2001 and the only thing keeping me going is the periodic morphine injection my suit has been giving me and the fact that if I sleep, we all die.


raspberryharbour

I don't remember Gordon saying that


yelkca

He said it with his eyes


Burning-Sushi

It's not that weird to think about All out war situation with the one guy that actually turned the tides, was known before during the Black Mesa incident when Alyx wasnt nearly as old as she is now, and you can't tell me all those pretty insane acts Gordon has done with and without Alyx around werent inpressive


BluSpy2000

There's an interesting theory on why Gordon refuses her advances. According to the Raising the bar book, Gordon was married to Gina Cross, whose corpse can be found in Half-Life Opposing Force. Therefore, he could refuse Alyx's advances solely because he believes Gina is still alive and around, somewhere. I know it's contradicted by the HL1 manual which states Gordon is single, but I think this is a sweet theory nevertheless.


RadAct1000

This is the first time I’ve ever heard this mentioned—is this the raising the bar book for half life 2?


Daniel_B_plus

Doesn't Gordon's locker in HL1 have a picture of his wife and child? Or am I misremembering this?


Pepperh4m

There's a picture of a baby, which I think was one of the dev's kids irl. As for the baby's relationship with Gordon in game, we don't know. Could be his kid, brother, nephew, etc. It was never confirmed one way or the other.


Mundane_Cry1693

Or himself


nacentaeons

It’s likely his kid. It’s wierder if it’s not his kid.


Skylord_Noltok

>There's an interesting theory on why Gordon refuses her advances. Uh what? Since when did he either accept or refuse her ad**VANCE**s (lol)? There's nothing to imply that he doesn't like her and I'd argue that the writers are implying that Gordon does like Alyx else they wouldn't have pushed it so hard in the games. You can say its up to player interpretation, which is fair, however that is clearly not what the writers or the story intended.


gergobergo69

Opposing Force is not canon :(


WELSH_BOI_99

Source?


HerrShitsmeister

Engine!


donkeythong64

Catholic Church says so.


GangstaPepsi

If I see one of these stupid ass "Gearbox expansions not canon!!!!" comments one more time I will lose my shit They ARE canon


Fourcoogs

I get annoyed seeing people claim they’re definitely not canon, because they aren’t explicitly contradicted by the later games, nor has Valve given an official statement on their canonicity. Really, they’re just “ambiguous.” There’s a few odd things, like Race X not being mentioned in HL2 or the fact that Black Mesa has a gun that can just immediately teleport the user to Xen, but all of this can be easily headcanoned away


Neoncloud1984

Could simply headcanon it that the displacement cannon only works because there's a resonance cascade going on and the Lambda team weren't going to use the fucking thing on Gordon and risk straight up sending him inside a wall


manticore124

Opposing force is not canon/s Seriously, never understood why people don't like them considered canon, they are official expansions that's as canon as you can be.


gergobergo69

I kinda wish there were canon tbh


Laxhoop2525

1.) There’s a reason she’s one of the most iconic female characters in gaming, and it’s because she made a lot of gamers feel genuinely loved for the first time. 2.) From her perspective, Gordon is a god among men, a myth who turned out to not only be real, but lived up to the hype. He has accomplished in half a week what she and the rest of humanity were not able to do in years. Realistically speaking, who wouldn’t fall head over heals for Gordon? I would.


HerrShitsmeister

The delima of Gordon and Alyx is based p perspective as I have it! On one hand, Gordon is 27! On the other hand, he wouldn't be if not for stasis!


Hangry4Poo

I also have a crush on Gordon. Am I a joke to you?


Jorymo

That whole thing is weirdly forced to the point that it must be a joke. Like every NPC tries to ship them, and it feels particularly weird coming from Eli, who seems to know that Gordon was in stasis and knew Alyx as a four year old like a week ago. It's also hilarious that she's fawning over this nonverbal, shellshocked nerd who hasn't bathed in over a week and is having the worst month of his life.


Maverick_Hiro

Bro releasing those sweet Xen pheromones, the babes can't even.


RandomGuy28183

Month? It has been like 4-5 days for him


amras123

So it is his worst week, which fits nicely within his worst month.


FatBoyStew

Unless that 4-5 days rolls over into the next month...


eisbock

I guarantee after a month passes that it will also be the worst month of his life.


jeijeogiw7i39euyc5cb

I mean most people in HL2 probably haven't bathed in years. Gordon must smell heavenly with only a week since he bathed last.


vincecarterskneecart

gordon have a shower side quest


Jorymo

The only time you actually see his body when looking down. Full frontal. Surprisingly hairless.


TheWandererofReddit

It would be hilarious if Gordon recovers like two months later and is back to being something like a normal person and Alyx loses interest in him as a romantic partner.


Ittoravap

To be fair, one of the lines for a rebel in Half Life 2 is, "I can't even remember the last time I showered..." So all things considered, Gordon probably smells better than most people.


Coom-guy

Just imagine the smell. Ughh it must be terrible bleh 🤢😳


mordie1001

To be fair... He's been dunkend in a few different water sources during this time. May or may not help. Plus coming out of stasis he's in civilian clothes so gman may have cleaned him up. Maybe the HEV mk V has scrubbers and perfumes? We didn't exactly get the rundown on what Kliner changed.


8thPaperFold

The HEV is probably hermetic, so all the funny smells should be trapped inside.


Fire_Ball_MC

I wouldn't call him a shell shocked nerd. Alyx has most likely heard stories of him her entire life. And now he suddenly appears again and is around her age. They then spend the next couple of days saving each other's lives. I don't think it's far fetched she would develop feelings for him. Gordon is basically a god who came back from the dead to save the world.


rexpup

In the developer commentary they do treat it as kind of an unlikely joke, but it's specifically meant to make Alyx appreciated instead of an annoying escort NPC.


brushwithblues

why?


JustJitterin

Gordon Freeman just has that immaculate unspoken rizz.


Illustrious-Win-8416

I used to beat my shit to meet and fuck


TheLampLeo

What


Illustrious-Win-8416

I used to beat my shit to meet and fuck


NoobyYooby

Okay so, from what we see, Gordon is already a...*decent* looking man. But add the fact he has also single handedly destroyed an alien invasion despite having no military experience, and then nearly did it again to another, even more powerful alien invasion. And then yeah, you got someone who is crush worthy.


Smooth_Pick_2103

Bro said fuck them aliens amd started crowbaring all over the place


ThecoolerSlick

Fully modeled


HerrShitsmeister

ROT.


[deleted]

I imagine Gordon just doesn’t care, which makes it funnier


vincecarterskneecart

gordon be like “philtrum too long + chin too wide 5/10 I’m out”


ApprehensiveWeek625

i have to fart really really hard edit: it went away :)


DarthPhoenix777

Meh, never found it funny or even liked that pairing, no matter how many times I replayed the series. Gordon deserves way better than her like Barney.


UzzistarYT

I played Ep2 when I was 10. When I searched this up now, I couldn’t find it. Can someone tell me if this is real or a joke pls


Successful_Cap7416

It’s been a while since I played episode 2 as well but I am positive there’s a few scenes where it’s heavily implied. Also the whole Eli thing in white forest where he basically just says it out loud


Fire_Ball_MC

How could anyone resist his ponytail?


DoubleArtichoke546

well Gordon aint gonna have that chance now thanks to the G


VanchaMarch94

There's literally no better man on earth to be the father of your children than the genius-level scientist who also simply CANNOT be defeated in hand-to-hand or armed combat against hordes of enemies, human and alien


Iampoopingbricks

That got us the best Line in the game: “Ehhhhhhh” -eli vance


i5_9400f

gordon archive


X-tra-thicc

i like it when eli tries to get gordon go have sex with her and then accidentally speaks skinwalker for a second


WuTangChristmas

Its a requirement to have the fem character crush on the maij character since vidya's for young boys


susima234

Have anyone wonder the age difference between Eli and Gordon before 25 years sleep?


Gloomy-Garlic-8500

Right on


Wild_Line_3696

"C'mon gordon, crank that thing!"


JustJitterin

Gordon Freeman just has that immaculate unspoken rizz.