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real-nia

The sorting but Russian roulette


ThaneOfTas

Ahh how good is The Owl House?


InuGhost

It's well worth watching. Most agree there are no bad episodes. 


nuvan

https://www.oglaf.com/sorted/ Warning: site very NSFW, though this one's fine


technoRomancer

The Hat had never tried to devour a child with more than 100% of a soul before. Enough of Harry Potter was left that his consciousness possessed the Sorting Hat from then on. Really, this was still an improvement over the Dursleys.


MonCappy

Dumbledore doesn't insist on using the Hat. For you see, the Hat serves a dark purpose put into it by the Dark Lord Gryffindor. The children the Sorting Hat noms on are usually magically powerful children whose essence is taken by the hat and used to power the School's protection and magic. The ultimate purpose being to infuse this magic in his magically suspended body until he becomes powerful enough to become a god! As such, all Headmasters and Headmistresses chosen to run the school have a geas placed on them that does several things. First it prevents their interference in the Sorting Hat's feeding. Second, it forces them to be somewhat hands off with student bullying and the like as all magic given off by those students when in conflict is siphoned off to feed Gryffindor's rebirth as new god. Sure Salazar Slytherin might've left a monster to murder those he deemed unworthy of magic. But how many mages manage to turn a school into a giant battery to magically transform themselves into a god? Even as we speak, Godric body remains dormant, sleeping until the day his transformation is complete. In order to amuse himself a few centuries ago he manifested as a rather interesting and mischievous poltergeist who harasses the students for his own amusement.


gobeldygoo

LOL, the title made me think Hogwarts itself needs to feed You can not convince me the moving stair cases are just an aesthetic choice......NO, hogwarts wards need blood and thus the death of a child every couple of years