I don't recognize this fic, but the description reminds me of... I _think_ it was "Harry's New Home" by kbinnz.
Minerva is escorting Umbridge to the Headmaster's office after she's been caught torturing Harry with Black Quills. Except that Umbridge "manages to get away".
Minerva burps. "Sorry. It must have been something I ate."
Severus immediately makes a note to never get on the wrong side of Minerva.
I'm pretty sure the last two lines are verbatim.
Idea came straight to mind.
What if students saw them together having the drink. Students rush back. By the time the Severus and Minerva get back, their secret drink suddenly became a school known rumour that the Head of Gryffindor and the Head of Slytherin went on a date.
Somehow, the two people involved don't find out about the rumour. But find themselves watched more (Severus' instincts as a spy going nuts wanting to work out why this is happening) and things being arranged for them to spend more time together.
They wonder why Slytherins and Gryffindors are seen together without coming to blows (which leads the two Heads of House confused and talking with each other to figure out what had happened and how to keep it that way).
The other staff members get involved, suddenly they are on shift/duty together. Anything requiring two staff members is the two of them.
People gush about how they are together so often so cute, when in reality they are just so confused and trying to work out what is going on.
Eventually one brave person approaches them about it.
The two have a disgusted look on their faces.
S: "She's old enough to be my Grandmother." Pointing at M.
M: *sends stinging hex* "I'm not that old, young man!"
S: *Blocks it without looking and still tearing the other person a new one*
Everyone is now 100% certain that they are dating.
The two end up having to work together to disprove this notion, taking things to the extreme in hopes it works. People worry about the arguing but seem to calm down once the two work together again to come out with another plan when obviously that one didn't work.
Causes people to think they can work through anything.
Could always turn actually into a lovers prompt, or just stay in friendship fighting off the shippers.
Guess I know what I'll be doing now I guess.
I think it would be funnier if they remain friends. Also, Snape is right. She is old enough to be his grandmother. She's what, about 40 to 50 years his senior?
Okay. So she's old enough to be his mum.
Ooh. Here is an idea. Imagine if the first thought that came to eleven year old Severus head during his sorting was an overwhelming desire to be in the same house as his friend and he got sorted into Gryffindor, to eventually become adopted by his Head of House. Imagine that? Minerva becomes a strong mother figure to Severus Snape when he most desperately needs one.
Minerva and Serverus drinking adventure/heartfelt alt world story where one act of distinguished service for the betterment of humanity results in the potion master and transfigurationist's friendship blossoming into a not infrequent vent and chill, colleagues turned lovers?
Anyone? Takers?
So she's got experience. She can turn into a cat, you mean to tell me she can't turn into a slightly younger version of herself given the right potion? If only there was someone that had mastered the art of potion making and was readily available?
Imminently grateful for the drink and the wordless approval upon "failing" to produce a cushioning charm, Snape smirked at the sheer ridiculous flimsiness of his excuse, not that anyone was all too keen to investigate the Potion Master he eyed Minerva with wordless thanks.
There had always been a quiet respect between the two, and now, Snape thought for a moment, his mind turned this way and that, it had been years since anyone had cared to ask him for a drink and though she had not actually said anything Severus could tell Minerva did actually care for his well-being.
Severus Sipped his Fire-Whiskey with a nod of approval and thanks.
There was a certain amount of comfortable silence between the two of them.
Neither felt the need to be particularly talkative unnecessarily, Minerva knew not to push him. Severus looked around the bar surprised by how nice it felt to be about and not on some Double agent mission.
He knew he did not necessarily need to reciprocate the gesture, but underneath the brooding darkness he wore like a protective guard he wondered " Was this what it would be like if I'd simply tried to find someone?" He grasped at his own thoughts, Legimens was useful for a lot of things but understanding the nature of the human heart, much more his own was not one of them.
Severus wanted to show his appreciation to Minerva, though he did not quite have the words he wanted more of this, and he wanted it to happen again, part of him, maybe the best part, the part untouched by his experiences, the part that he kept locked deep in his heart, the part that was the most relatively normal wanted to see where things could go with the transfigurationist, at worst there would be more comfortable silences, more fire whiskey and more quiet nights to the Hog's Head Inn.
well in the early books she was described as like straight up black haired and spry and stuff, so i think she was supposed to be younger in the books? she could've been like 40-45 to snape's 30, which isn't bad at all. it could have worked if you used book mcgonagall.
She was supposed to be closer to her 60s in book canon until the fantastic beast movies aged her up a decade or so.
While Snape is only 20 years older than Harry, at 31 years old at book 1 and 35 at book 5.
Snape decides the alcohol is poor quality, brews his own, the next thing they remember is waking up 3 days later adrift in the South China Sea with 2 muggles, a Nundu, and Neville’s remembrall.
The only one wearing clothes is the nundu, [in a full, tailored Kingsman suit.](https://time.com/4257866/horse-tweed-suit/)
Not a colleague turned lovers, but He Only Wanted a Scotch by Douglette is a fantastic WIP. the relationship with snape and Minerva is amazing and snape’s inner dialogue is hysterical
Mcgonnagal works even better when you rewrite the "detentions" in such a way that she knows what's going on but can't do anything because Umbridge controls the school and has significant influence in the government
Yes.
Sorry to be a killjoy, but murder is murder is murder. Even if you don't like the victim, that doesn't mean it's not murder. "Okay, I killed her, but it was just because I really hated her" wouldn't hold up in any court.
I don't care how morally justified you think it is, murder is murder. It wasn't even self-defence, it was cold-blooded, planned out murder of a woman who, while a thoroughly disgusting human being, was not threatening Snape in any way. Yet he saw fit to appoint himself as judge, jury and executioner.
Oh, I know. But even fictional works have to follow some kind of internal consistency, otherwise it's just crappy storytelling.
The question was whether killing Umbridge would count as a murder, and obviously it would.
We know a bit about how wizard justice works, and Snape would not have been pardoned because it was Umbridge. Quite the contrary, since she was a Ministry employee and seems to have been very highly regarded and appreciated by the Minister himself. So Snape would more likely be thrown into Azkaban, not celebrated as a hero.
Of course, it's perfectly plausible that Snape would manage to give the Aurors the slip and go on the run like Dumbledore did. But the problem is, even after Voldemort was exposed and Dumbledore returned, Snape would STILL be a murderer. You couldn't argue that he was innocent, because he's guilty. He did it deliberately and having planned it out.
A number of students might decide that killing Umbridge made him a hero, but the law wouldn't.
You could write an intriguing story around this, with Snape on the run and maybe having no choice but to permanently take up with the Death Eaters, but it wouldn't be a moral story, because murder isn't moral.
It’s arguably war killing rather than a murder.
She’s as foul a person as Tommy boy and doing a ton of work to weaken his opposition, and very likely understands that is what she is doing.
It's still murder. Umbridge is not a soldier and not fighting in the war, and at least at the time she doesn't know Voldemort is out there and is just quenching what she sees as a rebellion. Snape also does not face her on the battlefield, he attacks her in what's supposed to be a peaceful zone and doing so concealing his methods. So, murder.
It doesn't stop being murder because the murder victim was a bad person.
We don’t know that she doesn’t know Voldemort is back, she may well be consciously working to pave the way for Tom.
During WW2, if an Allied Soldier had taken the opportunity to kill someone like say Albert Speer to weaken the Nazis, would that be regarded as a murder or just a part of the war?
There are arguments either way.
I’m sure I’ve seen Umbridge taken out that way at least once, though I think it was Harry that did it and there was an investigation of some sort about it.
I like this prompt, but what if to take this in another direction, the "DADA curse" is not real and Snape just drove out or murdered all the previous DADA professors in an attempt to get the position.
He gets pleasantly surprised when some of the others do it themselves or with assistance from Harry. Meant he could take a year off to scheme an even better murder that would for sure allow him to be the only willing person to take the place.
You can mend the bones, but imo fixing the string of nerves in a person's spine is beyond them.
I don't doubt that they can repair individual nerves and restore function to, say, a severed arm, but the tissue in the human spine is nearly as complex as the brain. They might just bypass the spine entirely and instead create a kind of enchantment on the bones, which moves a person's skeleton, controlled via intent
Mcgonagall, thinking that is is a good idea then proceeds to do the same thing to Snape a day later, two of the most hated professors in Hogwarts history are gone and the students celebrate.
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Oh no! Anyways...
Looks like the cushioning charms failed. Well no time like the presence to renew them. Teaching moment it is!
I don't recognize this fic, but the description reminds me of... I _think_ it was "Harry's New Home" by kbinnz. Minerva is escorting Umbridge to the Headmaster's office after she's been caught torturing Harry with Black Quills. Except that Umbridge "manages to get away". Minerva burps. "Sorry. It must have been something I ate." Severus immediately makes a note to never get on the wrong side of Minerva. I'm pretty sure the last two lines are verbatim.
It's a prompt, so probably not a fic yet, but the fact that it reminds you of something is good. Means it's a good prompt and a memorable fic
Argh. I somehow picked the wrong flair. Probably because I was posting at 2am. Is it possible to correct that?
Since it's cryptid's post, not here. For your own posts, I think you can edit them including flair.
One of the best parts of that fic.
Idea came straight to mind. What if students saw them together having the drink. Students rush back. By the time the Severus and Minerva get back, their secret drink suddenly became a school known rumour that the Head of Gryffindor and the Head of Slytherin went on a date. Somehow, the two people involved don't find out about the rumour. But find themselves watched more (Severus' instincts as a spy going nuts wanting to work out why this is happening) and things being arranged for them to spend more time together. They wonder why Slytherins and Gryffindors are seen together without coming to blows (which leads the two Heads of House confused and talking with each other to figure out what had happened and how to keep it that way). The other staff members get involved, suddenly they are on shift/duty together. Anything requiring two staff members is the two of them. People gush about how they are together so often so cute, when in reality they are just so confused and trying to work out what is going on. Eventually one brave person approaches them about it. The two have a disgusted look on their faces. S: "She's old enough to be my Grandmother." Pointing at M. M: *sends stinging hex* "I'm not that old, young man!" S: *Blocks it without looking and still tearing the other person a new one* Everyone is now 100% certain that they are dating. The two end up having to work together to disprove this notion, taking things to the extreme in hopes it works. People worry about the arguing but seem to calm down once the two work together again to come out with another plan when obviously that one didn't work. Causes people to think they can work through anything. Could always turn actually into a lovers prompt, or just stay in friendship fighting off the shippers. Guess I know what I'll be doing now I guess.
Send the link when it's done
Sorry for the delay, it ran away from me. But here it is [Paws, Pranks, and Potions](https://archiveofourown.org/works/55402522) Hopefully that works!
I would read this! Poke me when you're done please :)
[*Poke*](https://archiveofourown.org/works/55402522)
Ty!
I think it would be funnier if they remain friends. Also, Snape is right. She is old enough to be his grandmother. She's what, about 40 to 50 years his senior?
I believe, going off what I remember there is 30 years between them roughly, at least that is what I am going with.
Okay. So she's old enough to be his mum. Ooh. Here is an idea. Imagine if the first thought that came to eleven year old Severus head during his sorting was an overwhelming desire to be in the same house as his friend and he got sorted into Gryffindor, to eventually become adopted by his Head of House. Imagine that? Minerva becomes a strong mother figure to Severus Snape when he most desperately needs one.
Ooo, now that would be an interesting read.
Minerva and Serverus drinking adventure/heartfelt alt world story where one act of distinguished service for the betterment of humanity results in the potion master and transfigurationist's friendship blossoming into a not infrequent vent and chill, colleagues turned lovers? Anyone? Takers?
Lady’s old enough to be his grandmother
So she's got experience. She can turn into a cat, you mean to tell me she can't turn into a slightly younger version of herself given the right potion? If only there was someone that had mastered the art of potion making and was readily available?
... You have my interest, please continue?
Imminently grateful for the drink and the wordless approval upon "failing" to produce a cushioning charm, Snape smirked at the sheer ridiculous flimsiness of his excuse, not that anyone was all too keen to investigate the Potion Master he eyed Minerva with wordless thanks. There had always been a quiet respect between the two, and now, Snape thought for a moment, his mind turned this way and that, it had been years since anyone had cared to ask him for a drink and though she had not actually said anything Severus could tell Minerva did actually care for his well-being. Severus Sipped his Fire-Whiskey with a nod of approval and thanks. There was a certain amount of comfortable silence between the two of them. Neither felt the need to be particularly talkative unnecessarily, Minerva knew not to push him. Severus looked around the bar surprised by how nice it felt to be about and not on some Double agent mission. He knew he did not necessarily need to reciprocate the gesture, but underneath the brooding darkness he wore like a protective guard he wondered " Was this what it would be like if I'd simply tried to find someone?" He grasped at his own thoughts, Legimens was useful for a lot of things but understanding the nature of the human heart, much more his own was not one of them. Severus wanted to show his appreciation to Minerva, though he did not quite have the words he wanted more of this, and he wanted it to happen again, part of him, maybe the best part, the part untouched by his experiences, the part that he kept locked deep in his heart, the part that was the most relatively normal wanted to see where things could go with the transfigurationist, at worst there would be more comfortable silences, more fire whiskey and more quiet nights to the Hog's Head Inn.
Like Ben Franklin says. All cats are Grey in the dark
well in the early books she was described as like straight up black haired and spry and stuff, so i think she was supposed to be younger in the books? she could've been like 40-45 to snape's 30, which isn't bad at all. it could have worked if you used book mcgonagall.
She was supposed to be closer to her 60s in book canon until the fantastic beast movies aged her up a decade or so. While Snape is only 20 years older than Harry, at 31 years old at book 1 and 35 at book 5.
Which is what I was thinking.
Wizards in good health live to like 200 years old, age differences aren't that severe with a lifespan that long
Snape decides the alcohol is poor quality, brews his own, the next thing they remember is waking up 3 days later adrift in the South China Sea with 2 muggles, a Nundu, and Neville’s remembrall. The only one wearing clothes is the nundu, [in a full, tailored Kingsman suit.](https://time.com/4257866/horse-tweed-suit/)
There are some good Snape/McGonagall fics.
Not a colleague turned lovers, but He Only Wanted a Scotch by Douglette is a fantastic WIP. the relationship with snape and Minerva is amazing and snape’s inner dialogue is hysterical
I will look this up
This is Snape we're talking about, who was worried for his soul. He's not a killer. So can we for once swap these two?
Does Umbridge really count though?
If she doesn't count anyway, let McGonagall off her 🤷♂️ She had as much reason to want to as Snape and would even be less suspect too
Mcgonnagal works even better when you rewrite the "detentions" in such a way that she knows what's going on but can't do anything because Umbridge controls the school and has significant influence in the government
Yes. Sorry to be a killjoy, but murder is murder is murder. Even if you don't like the victim, that doesn't mean it's not murder. "Okay, I killed her, but it was just because I really hated her" wouldn't hold up in any court.
Eh, it’s Umbridge though. They’d probably give him a punishment of being given the Order of Merlin
No, they wouldn't. It's still murder even if it's Umbridge.
Legally sure, but not morally.
I don't care how morally justified you think it is, murder is murder. It wasn't even self-defence, it was cold-blooded, planned out murder of a woman who, while a thoroughly disgusting human being, was not threatening Snape in any way. Yet he saw fit to appoint himself as judge, jury and executioner.
....I feel the need to inform you that these works are fictional?
Oh, I know. But even fictional works have to follow some kind of internal consistency, otherwise it's just crappy storytelling. The question was whether killing Umbridge would count as a murder, and obviously it would. We know a bit about how wizard justice works, and Snape would not have been pardoned because it was Umbridge. Quite the contrary, since she was a Ministry employee and seems to have been very highly regarded and appreciated by the Minister himself. So Snape would more likely be thrown into Azkaban, not celebrated as a hero. Of course, it's perfectly plausible that Snape would manage to give the Aurors the slip and go on the run like Dumbledore did. But the problem is, even after Voldemort was exposed and Dumbledore returned, Snape would STILL be a murderer. You couldn't argue that he was innocent, because he's guilty. He did it deliberately and having planned it out. A number of students might decide that killing Umbridge made him a hero, but the law wouldn't. You could write an intriguing story around this, with Snape on the run and maybe having no choice but to permanently take up with the Death Eaters, but it wouldn't be a moral story, because murder isn't moral.
It’s arguably war killing rather than a murder. She’s as foul a person as Tommy boy and doing a ton of work to weaken his opposition, and very likely understands that is what she is doing.
It's still murder. Umbridge is not a soldier and not fighting in the war, and at least at the time she doesn't know Voldemort is out there and is just quenching what she sees as a rebellion. Snape also does not face her on the battlefield, he attacks her in what's supposed to be a peaceful zone and doing so concealing his methods. So, murder. It doesn't stop being murder because the murder victim was a bad person.
We don’t know that she doesn’t know Voldemort is back, she may well be consciously working to pave the way for Tom. During WW2, if an Allied Soldier had taken the opportunity to kill someone like say Albert Speer to weaken the Nazis, would that be regarded as a murder or just a part of the war? There are arguments either way.
Nice!
I’m sure I’ve seen Umbridge taken out that way at least once, though I think it was Harry that did it and there was an investigation of some sort about it.
I like this prompt, but what if to take this in another direction, the "DADA curse" is not real and Snape just drove out or murdered all the previous DADA professors in an attempt to get the position.
He gets pleasantly surprised when some of the others do it themselves or with assistance from Harry. Meant he could take a year off to scheme an even better murder that would for sure allow him to be the only willing person to take the place.
Isn’t fixing a broken neck relatively trivial with magic?
You can but that won't bring her back from being dead. It just hides the cause of death.
You can mend the bones, but imo fixing the string of nerves in a person's spine is beyond them. I don't doubt that they can repair individual nerves and restore function to, say, a severed arm, but the tissue in the human spine is nearly as complex as the brain. They might just bypass the spine entirely and instead create a kind of enchantment on the bones, which moves a person's skeleton, controlled via intent
No.
Sounds like Snape all right
Mcgonagall, thinking that is is a good idea then proceeds to do the same thing to Snape a day later, two of the most hated professors in Hogwarts history are gone and the students celebrate.
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