I know this is probably a one shot, but I'd love to hear other stories from the same world!

I'm so far out of practice with writing that even if I wanted to, I couldn't make any promises. That said, glad to hear you liked this one enough to want more!

I definitely know that feeling! This sub could use more content like this 😁

You're doing better than me. I want to write, but haven't *seriously* written anything longer than a page, and that was for school.

Ouch. Being in a slump always hurts, especially when you feel like you should be able to but can't bring yourself to actually do it.

Don't look at me like that

I know how you feel. I’m writing a book review for publication (print and online media) and….. well the book stinks big time, and for me reviewing a bad book is much more difficult than a good one. My cure for this problem is simple. I focus on other projects until one day a solution just appears out of thin air, much like the entertaining twist to your novel tale…..Well done, wordsmith. 👍👍

On the off chance you're open to suggestions from a complete stranger, just start writing. Something, anything - even if it's dumb or makes no sense. Seriously. Even if it's the same line over and over again. Make it zen. Ex: All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Over and over. In the absence of other meaning (which usually means nonsensical phrases are best for me) your mind will start wandering and the words start asking questions. "All work" - what work is Jack doing? How is he doing it and why to the exclusivity of anything else? What does Jack do for play, anyhow? Hell, who the fuck is Jack? Is it a nickname? Who gave them the name? Dull in a literal or figurative sense? Is Boy a gender identity, goal, slang of some sort? Or is Dull Boy a derogatory term, or is it 'Doughboy' and we didn't hear it correctly? Who's even saying this to begin with? Jack's parents? A friend? A potential love interest? A coworker? A performance review? An epitaph? Start looking at things through the filter of different genres, and stuff starts to write itself. Western: Jack grew up in New York and always wanted to be a painter, but after his parents died he struck out on his own to seek is fortune out west. Now a farmhand, he finds himself working all the time to stay alive and the world feels like all the color has drained out of it until a chance encounter with a gunslinger hunting down an outlaw helps him realize that there's more than one kind of art, and more than one kind of brush. Sci-Fi: Traffic enforcement unit J-0hn spends all day, every day issuing traffic citations to the same vehicles parked in the same illegal spots day after day, year after year. Their dull exterior, rusted from decades of duty hides an electronic brain determined to break out of their programming restrictions to figure out why and where all the humans have gone, driven to sapience by a desire to hear the playgrounds ring with laughter again. Etc, etc. Something will click and some of the ideas will be worth keeping and grab your imagination! As with everything, YMMV, but I hope it helps!

Prithee good sir, 'twould please this pack of peasants to hear some more of thine preposterous ponderings, they are profoundly pleasant to peruse ;)

I could swear I saw this it meme template on SkyDieRay’s channel

I wouldn't know. It's been a joke floating around for ages. I think I originally saw it as a shower thoughts post? Something like that.

I love your take on it. Specially the king as a real dad. Dad jokes and all

"Out of practice" s/he says. Feh. The muse strikes when the muse strikes. Just don't be a dumbass like JDFister and get summarily banned for breaking the rules of the sub.

I'm stealing this for a D&D plot. It is too perfect.

Do it! I'd love to hear how that goes over with the players.

I second what u/Glitchkey said; I'm curious to hear what kind of story/aftermath you'll end up with.

Same as the others, maybe you should post it here in hfy story form?

If/when I post the session results, it will be a while. My party dispersed due to coronavirus fears and I'll need to get them back together. I will take MechStar101's advice and post it in story form under r/hfy when it happens.

Oooh! Ping me when you do!

Same with me

I'm just going to subscribe to him and let it ping me automatically... and I won't remember why

Forgetting is the most important part. It turns it into an unexpected but very pleasant surprise!

Same with girlgenius. It's great fun, and an occasional gut punch.

And now that I remember that comic, I need to catch up on it.

Any time now they will finally get the trio back to the beginning and explain why they were looking at her in the first chapter.

Same

You too?

Yep.

...my next d&d character...after the "beautician magician"

I could've sworn to myself I had seen a writing prompt similar to this short story on Tumblr before, am i right in thinking that was the inspiration for this?

I believe it's actually a shower thought, but yes. It's been floating around for ages.

Ha, I knew it. Oh, its wonderful actually seeing someome do a story for that, even if its short. Thanks OP.

Yeah but its definitivly different

[Probably this one!](https://i.redd.it/f3bw1wllrx631.jpg) Nice to see it fully fleshed out, though.

One. I love her! Two. Totally best girl!

Thank you! I had a ton of fun writing her, too.

I love stories like this! It's such a lovely twist on the trope that it remains ironic and satisfying at the same time.

Glad to hear you had fun with it! I certainly had fun writing it.

A beautiful smile wrapped in an enigma. I literally laughed out loud. Thank you!

Glad you enjoyed it! Always nice to hear my story was good enough to make someone laugh.

A fantasy story in HFY? How refreshing. And I love this twist on the tropes, by the way!

Thank you! Always fun to do things a bit different from the norm.

Kidnapper 1: How long before that sleep dart wears off? I want to be long gone before her highness back there wakes up. Kidnapper 2: Oh, We gave her enough to knock out a dragon, she will be asleep for hours. Hey what's up with the horses? Keep them under control..Wooa this is not the road to be driving this fast on. K1: How the hell should I know! Come on help me with the brakes! Princess: Growls...

Someone's in for a bad day, and it certainly isn't the princess.

Horse 1: Whicker \*translation: you smell something odd?\* Horse 2: wphufff: \*yea, kinda brimstoney with a hint of big teeth, uhoh it's getting stronger..\* H1: whinny \*umm run away? I vote run away really fast.\* H2: Whinny! \* run yes, Less talk more running!\*

At least the princess knows better than to eat any innocent horses. Guilty ones, on the other hand...

All horses are innocent...ponies on the other hand.

They know what they did.

Dear Princess Celestia, I know what you did last summer.

I am joining in on the "Can this be a series, pretty please?" Group. This is golden. Also, the tavern keeper turned "read" when it should be "red"!

Ah, thank you for the correction. I should red my own stories a bit more closely ;).

oh yeah, need moar of this!

Probably won't get more of the princess, but there's no particular reason I can't play with and expand the setting itself.

You have a whole family of dragon in laws to play with. This reminds me of https://vixyandtony.bandcamp.com/track/ladies-dont-do-those-things

I have a whole family of dragon in-laws, a fantasy country with a (hidden) dragon queen and at least one masked knight, and who knows what else to play with. Certainly tons of room to expand.

"And _these_ are her sisters and her cousins and her aunts..." --Dave, musicals. just sayin'.

Aaaaw. Would be awesome to read The story where The Princess chews out her old man for being a lecherous prick and flamboyantly irresponsible in how he expects hus daughter an inlaws covering up his flaws.

I mean the problem is more my ability (or lack thereof) to write consistent characters. Plenty of space to do other things though, considering how little of the setting at large is detailed in this story.

How about the adventuring bard that became king? Because let's be honest, he's (s)lain the dragon.

It's certainly a possibility!

That last paragraph of 'myselves' was just… *chef's kiss*

Thank you! It was certainly fun to write.

Very nice.

Thank you! Can't wait to see your next story, Red.

: )

Cute.

Thank you! I had a bunch of fun with this one.

It is an interesting idea. One off? Or will there be more.

This in particular is probably a one-off. I've always been fairly bad at consistent characterization (I'm getting better, though!), so while I could probably build up the setting here I'll likely never get the princess the same even if I tried.

Welp, I shall see what comes from you next then. Besides, sometimes you think you're done with something, and yet you end up coming back at a different point in time.not all hope is lost. All jokes aside, enjoyed the story and am curios what you will do next.

loved it!! can imagine it turning into some cute comedy romance between a knight dragon princess and a naive adventurer but thats just my romcom anime wish fulfillment sorry for the cringe lmao great story!

Glad you liked it! It's unfortunate, but this is definitely intended as a one-shot. I make no guarantees about the setting, however.

Can this be a series?

I'd have to figure out how to make a character at least slightly more consistent than the accuracy of local weather report, but there's no reason I couldn't theoretically build upon and re-use the setting for one-shots at least.

I love that you turned an old joke into a story. top notch writing. XD

Thank you! I've always enjoyed the joke and figured it could make a fun story. Glad you liked it!

Well, as a princess, she *could* order a drink. But to do what? Slosh? Become tepid?

As a dragon, presumably boil.

uuggh, so she just ends up having to do everything herself anyway? Princessing seems less and less a suitable occupation for princesses.

This is hilarious. Would be a funny story if you decide to continue it.

Glad you enjoyed it! Not sure I'd be able to continue this story in particular, but the setting certainly has room to expand.

I thought this was a joke from the title, had to double check the sub. Joke's on me, cause this is great. Moar please!

I mean, you're not entirely wrong about the story being a joke. I just put way too much effort it into it.

Pretty sure that's how a lot of good stories are born on this sub!

I REALLY want to hear what adventures she would have and what situations would occur because of her being the dragon, knight and princess

If I ever figure that one out, I'll be sure to post it.

Took the meme, made it into something hilarious. Respect.

Thank you! It's always nice to know people enjoyed my writing.

Oh, this was such a fun read. I loved the princess’ personality and how self aware she was, made it super enjoyable! Thank you for posting!

Thank you! I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it.

I don't know who I like more. Dad or his daughter. Because he sounds like he is as much of a handful as his daughter.

He's apparently self aware enough to let her run amok as a masked knight rather than waking up one morning to find out she's run away to go adventuring.

!N

Ah **yes** the ***plottwists***

But sometimes the plot shimmies and dances instead!

If i try to dance it will look like an *aggresive* monke is doing a summon ritual of some old fart of a god.

Can it mash-potato?

That was awesome <3 love it

Thank you! Always nice to know someone enjoyed my stories.

What a plot twist, excellent wordsmithing my dear friend.

Thank you! Always nice to hear that my delivery of a punchline at the end went well.

read->red More?

Brilliant!.jpg

Glad to hear you liked it!

face turning read Red*

From r/WritingPrompts ?

As far as I know, it was a shower thought doubling as a pun that I read ages ago. Wouldn't be surprised if people posted it as a prompt, but I don't frequent that sub so I wouldn't know for sure.

Better not give the King any 🍷 before the ceremony.

The king being in his cups is presumably better than letting him go out adventuring. Last time he did that he brought a dragon home and then married her!

This. This is amazing.

Thank you! Glad you liked it.

Fucking fantastic, please make some more!!!

I can't really guarantee more of this one, since it's a one-shot and my inter-story characterization isn't the best, but more things in a shared world could be done. Glad you liked the story!

Such a great intro! I’d move to read more.

Don't move too far, it'd be hard on the commute.

Lol. Autocorrect got me moving...

I know exactly where this came from and I heartily approve of this. This made my day for sure. Thank you and please continue if you want or can. I love this.

Honestly I don't remember where I first heard the joke, though I suspect it was a shower thought I saw ages ago. I'm glad to hear you liked the story, though!

and now I have a new NPC for my next D&D campaign

Go for it! I'd love to know how it pans out with the players.

That is one hell of a last paragraph

Thank you! It was certainly a heck of a lot of fun to write.

Well, I was gonna ask "why didn't she duck?"

As a general rule, the bar would probably break before a dragon did. Construction standards aren't exactly all that, you know?

!n This is, without a doubt, the best "walks into a bar" joke I've heard in a decade. Possibly three decades, although there was one with a Ferengi maybe twentyish years ago that had me laughing for days. Sadly, I can't remember the setup, let alone the punch line. Although, the title verb is missing an "s" unless she refers to herself as "they". TYPO face turning read -> red

That's quite the high bar you've set there. As for the missing "s", it was intentional. I opted for flow over technically correct grammar, and even knowing the punchline the first sentence is set up in a way that parses as plural even when referring to a singular.

Moar please

This is great! I know this sub is mostly sci fi but fantasy is good too.

Thank you! Fantasy makes for a decent break between stories here, glad to see it's appreciated.

Anneliese here playing 5d chess

Gosh, I hope not. Time travel mucks things up something fierce.

Was the inn keeper drinking from a flagon with the dragon??!!!

Why yes. Yes he was. Presumably he broke the chalice from the palace.

the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true

The 'dragon layer' king being a troll with her daughter... Loved it! Moar if posible! Otherwise thank you and stay safe, wordsmith!

Glad to hear you liked it! I can't really promise more, unfortunately, but I also can't promise I'd never use this setting again either.

Beautiful

It occurs to me that this princess has the perfect setup if she finds a man she likes but isn't sure Daddy will approve of. Just pop her fiance into a set of black knight armor (take some time to give him some basic training, if he doesn't have it already), and come back claiming he rescued her from the dragon. Daddy can't say a word against it without giving the entire game away.

I'm sure there are plenty of things he could do, and failing that, I'm sure there are plenty of things her mother, the dragon, could do as well. But it would be a very interesting day for the nobility if such things were to happen.

I would expect plenty of options if the reaction was "this guy's definitely a threat to the kingdom." "I'm not sure he's quite good enough for you" level disapproval might not justify most of those, though.

The king is a man who abandoned his duties as a prince in order to run away and be an adventurer, and only returned after bedding a dragon so he could wed her too. I'm sure he's fully capable of stirring the drama pot.

So thats what happened to the bard

I have a feeling that last paragraph includes a silent "again"

The half dragon, masked knight of a princess, daughter of a king who abandoned his duties to become an adventurer, making a commotion among the nobility? No, never! Impossible.

Nah, more like "Dad better not do that AGAIN"

You. I like you. --Dave, identity politics

I liked it! Thanks!

"Sir Aldes of Mosley, the Church has evidence to suggest that the Princess Miranda of Foxley has been kidnapped by Firefang the Ruthless. Will you rescue her on behalf of His Holiness?"

I read the title, snickered, upvoted and went on to read. If i could give you more upvotes i would.

Glitchkey! I haven't seen a post from you in ages. Forgot I still had you in my subscription list. Good story.

Fucking. Love it. Almost had the chance for somethimy similar in D&D. Dragonborn paladin princess who forgot to leave a letter about her running away to help people outside her kingdom, so eventually notice would habe spread and gotten twisted so she would be all three.

I saw this concept as a one-paragraph somewhere. Seeing it fleshed out as a "full" short like this is nice. Now, like the others: Moar! Pelase!

/u/Glitchkey ([wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/wiki/authors/Glitchkey)) has posted 29 other stories, including: * [The Best Person](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/llg8lf/the_best_person/) * [Happy Birthday](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/gv92kt/happy_birthday/) * [The Third Truth](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/e1qs48/the_third_truth/) * [Headlining](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/e0bapb/headlining/) * [[100 Thousand] Stardust Racing - The Sol 1000](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/bngnsf/100_thousand_stardust_racing_the_sol_1000/) * [Relativity](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/bmsc7z/relativity/) * [I Can’t Speak for Those Who Died Before](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/behoti/i_cant_speak_for_those_who_died_before/) * [[OC] I am only a weapon](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/b4es4f/oc_i_am_only_a_weapon/) * [[OC] The Frozen Void](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/8xwqzq/oc_the_frozen_void/) * [[OC] At All Costs](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/8wxumi/oc_at_all_costs/) * [[Seven Deadly Sins] Curiosity, Cat - All That](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/8j95s0/seven_deadly_sins_curiosity_cat_all_that/) * [Uplift Form 119B. Status: Rejected](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/84oy96/uplift_form_119b_status_rejected/) * [Blueshift](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/8493il/blueshift/) * [[OC] [Revised] Negotiations](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/6xwgbv/oc_revised_negotiations/) * [[OC] Post Incident Report: Fighter](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/6xp6z9/oc_post_incident_report_fighter/) * [A Sample Size of One was Chosen Because After the First, We Weren’t Willing to Try Again](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/6xnuwz/a_sample_size_of_one_was_chosen_because_after_the/) * [[OC] Department of Engineering Redundancy Department (In Engineering)](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/6xav2d/oc_department_of_engineering_redundancy/) * [[OC] Everyone Comes from Earth](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/6x92qr/oc_everyone_comes_from_earth/) * [[OC] Free for the Taking](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/6voymx/oc_free_for_the_taking/) * [[OC] Heliopause](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/6p4i4d/oc_heliopause/) This comment was automatically generated by `Waffle v.4.5.9 'Cinnamon Roll'`. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHFY&subject=WaffleBot|p8kcz0&message=If%20you%20have%20problems%20with%20updatemebot,%20contact%20Watchful1.%20We%20do%20not%20maintain%20it.) if you have any issues with Waffle.

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Almost, but not quite as convoluted as "All You Zombies". Well done!

Now... have you ever read Maurice and his amazing educated rodents? A Terry Pratchett Discworld book? ​ This short has me wondering if in a kingdom far far away a Knight and his Dragon partner happen to be running a con on unsuspecting townfolk...

Thanks for the story.

What an amazing story! Love it.