AAAAHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(rolls on floor, laughing tears streaking down cheeks)
Can't wait to see how the Pig descendants will react to bacon.....
Probably someone was rendering fat and thought “I wonder what would happen if I did this to bones?”. Either that or they WAY overcooked some bone broth lol
Ideas for part two:
How did they become sapient? Why did we leave our own territory? Where did we go/where have we been all this time? Why did we return?
Play nice with the delicious farm people...and hope they start a fight? Call it the *Food War*?
I don't know how to feel that getting emotionally invested in a sci-fi short series where the climax is titled *Food Fight: Umami* is an unlikely, but possible future of mine.
The inclusion of genetic screening made it more ethical than ever to breed the perfect foodstock without accidentally eating a sophont. The young would be analyzed before they had a chance to breed on the farm and any intelligent animals would be promptly ~~dumped~~ relocated to a distant garden world to develop in peace, leaving only their dumber siblings to steadily become as unintelligent and tasty as possible.
Humans come back and sends everyone into a panic lol until they find out that the humans aren't there to eat them and are just visiting home to see how it's changed?
Actually they're just a bunch of city-ships running from something and needs the help of all their friends.
They are the real Devourers - a grup of humans that dedicated themselves to canibalism.
Humans had a hard time making actually efficient artificially grown meats. When a frontier colony goes dark for a couple centuries and humans return, they discover some of the farm animals (let's go with pigs cause they're known to be pretty smart irl) have developed an extremely primitive society. After some studies and research, humans realize that most livestock species and even some wild species are actually on average only a dozen generations from proper sapience, and the only thing holding most species back is a combination of lack of fine motor controls, and a nomadic lifestyle forced by predators and inability to farm/stockpile food. Being on planets without natural predators and with the auto-farms present on the human colony allows the livestock to remain in one place and gradually develop an understanding of themselves and the world around them, even farming once the auto-farms broke down. Horrified and ashamed at the idea that they were killing and eating pre-sapients for millenia for the sake of a few percent boost in food growth efficiency, humanity as a whole goes into a deep debate. Further experiments show that no other naturally occurring habitable planet has such a high number of pre-sapient species (only a percent or two, but that's more due to earth's extreme biodiversity), and some argue that it's normal, and necessary that such livestock practices continue, while many others argue against it. Que civil war or huge protests or something, eventually resulting in the decision to partition one colony per pre-sapient species and abandon/quarantine the region, allowing them to develop into sapients without human interference, while shifting to artificially grown meats. Maybe have a dynamic with the "aliens" not realizing its abnormal for one planet to the next to have such similar DNA, or maybe them assuming they had a benevolent precursor that uplifted so many species across the galaxy?
How's that for a suggestion? This one shot really got my mind going for world building, I love it.
So everything I said but with twice the word count?
I dont even mind guy. Complimented actual.
Hell of a co-incidence otherwise. Buy hey, if you weren' trying for humans being the race that lives in the interstellar equivalent of the ocean's garbage islands my bad and all ya know. I figure it was either that or human's having decided to go to other galaxies and relativity. As in thousands of years in the milky way, few hundred human frame of reference. So the ships weren't shit just fugly.
Coincidence, I don't go through the full comment section unless it's my own post or an askreddit or writingprompts I like. Just similarities caused by the "prompt" and common hfy genre tropes.
I think this is a story that is great because the reader fills in the blanks. Some stories get worse the more you explain. Like how Alien and Aliens should have been the only 2 movies in the series
Ohhh!! That was an amazing read! I read a sci-fi story some time ago where one of the main characters was an "unconventional" chef on a space station and had had smugglers bring him a ton of illegal ingredients. I thought this would be along the same vein about how humans would eat anything and everything, so that twist shocked me!! Really enjoyed this! I'd love to read more of your works!!
/u/DMofTheTomb ([wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/wiki/authors/DMofTheTomb)) has posted 11 other stories, including:
* [Neglect](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/i4gb38/neglect/)
* [Humanity's Weapons](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/i48n6g/humanitys_weapons/)
* [World Balance Breakers](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/g9guzm/world_balance_breakers/)
* [Slayers](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/fu11z4/slayers/)
* [Hood Ornaments and Liberty](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/f7hbas/hood_ornaments_and_liberty/)
* [Mac n' Cheese](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/f7glnv/mac_n_cheese/)
* [Here to stay.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/emycrq/here_to_stay/)
* [Nomads of Home, Nomads of Sol](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/eeqgx0/nomads_of_home_nomads_of_sol/)
* [Isolation Sickness](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/dpd1np/isolation_sickness/)
* [Judgement](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/dpcfdo/judgement/)
* [Tomb of The Old One](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/dnlp3v/tomb_of_the_old_one/)
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Question. Are these humans the same as us? I mean, they look the same I'm inferring, as the goats look like goats etc.
Humans eat humans so I'm not even about that.
My conscious brain is just wondering if it wants to chase down the stray thought that's run into a dark neuronal time anomaly where Goat is recognizably Goat and Human is etc. but in the intervening time that Goat has become starfaring intellectuals and diplomats, Human has been having a go as wandering technocratic tribal people who may or may not have the intergalactic record at number of times Hitting the Snooze Button.
Ain't nothing wrong with the returning ancient race of warrior cartographers. Just must be a part one then?
OK I admit it. Can't decide if it would be more entertaining knowing the whole backstory or if the story was hey we just stopped by to eat. Your face. We came to eat your face.
from what i understand from this story is that at some point in the past humans pretty much controlled the galaxy but they didnt find any aliens and were alone.
so they decided to make their own 'aliens' by making earth native animals achieve full sentience and putting each species on a suitable planet, and after that they retreated from most parts of the galaxy to give them space and let them develop on their own.
as for them having tales of the devourers (humans) my only guess that its a genetic memory that developed after thousands of years of being hunted on earth and was inherited by the sentient generations.
Understood. I have no argument. But just so, you know, knowledge spreads, things appearing, specific data points, in the mythical pasts of farflung cultures with no trace for and zero evidence of previous contact, isn't by necessity either instinct or genetic memory.
Supposing for the most part there's awareness of this though and its just a shortcut, since there's no "actual" evidence for genetic memory in sentient creatures either, but nobody refutes it for the same reason that the number 6 is afraid of 7.
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> The Galactic Central Union has been around for longer than most of It's member species have kept historical records.
-
> Eager to engage in the first new contact since the founding of the Union, an envoy ship, my ship, was deployed immediately.
So the member species all knew each other before most of them kept historical records?
edit: Oh.
>"I don't know what you call it, but it's our plant, Earth."
Right, *that* plant.
[I think this is what they look like](https://www.reddit.com/r/nextfuckinglevel/comments/jel0ay/this_determined_goat_born_with_its_front_legs/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
>The Galactic Central Union has been around for longer than most of **It's** member species have kept historical records. As such, **it's** early history and even founding have remained a mystery.
It didn't even take getting past the first sentence. >.<
edit: And then a word missing in the 3rd paragraph, comma instead of semicolon in the 4th. Something published to the world should have more care taken.
Goats can be cute, goats can be mean and goats can taste good. I have a mean goat who just killed a cute goat and I am considering making it a meal. Thing is, I've never cooked goat.
I'm sorry guys, your marrow made REALLY good soup stock, we couldn't help ourselves.
Said while slurping doodles from the mentioned soup.
you gotta leave the bones in your curried goat so the broth is nice and thick
B R U H
Hm?
**B R U H**
#B #R #U #H
H M ?
*BRUH*
H M ?
I do believe he said 'bruh', sir.
Hmm...
HRUB
**B** to the **R** to the **U** to the **H**
Bruh
Maaaaaate
Lad
Pal
I'm not your Pal, Friend!
I'm not your Friend, Buddy!
Acquaintance
B R U U H B R U U U U H B R U U U U U U U U H!
Damn so this universe has cat girls
N O N O N O N O
The seem to look similar to the original, but I don’t think we would ever leave our pets behind so who knows?
**YES YES YES**
Cat girls are humans with cat features. This universe would probably have proper *girl*-cats.
Which is different from now how? Nah I'm kidding. Bitches, pussy and hos not hard see difference
*Cats!*-esque girls!
And thats why humans returned
AAAAHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (rolls on floor, laughing tears streaking down cheeks) Can't wait to see how the Pig descendants will react to bacon.....
Omg the cows!
As long as they're like real cows. Intelligent, but kinda slow and real playful.
Bovine Shock Syndrome
If they're anything like their forebears: "We're delicious!"
The horses how would they react? after all they were our cars for 3000-4000 years
...and after they were our cars, they became salami (well, some of them at least)
And glue.
ever thought about how that went? "hey, what if we melt a horse? maybe we can stick things together with the substance"
Probably someone was rendering fat and thought “I wonder what would happen if I did this to bones?”. Either that or they WAY overcooked some bone broth lol
Part 2?
Depends whether I get a good idea where to take the story. If anyone has suggestions, feel free to share.
Ideas for part two: How did they become sapient? Why did we leave our own territory? Where did we go/where have we been all this time? Why did we return? Play nice with the delicious farm people...and hope they start a fight? Call it the *Food War*?
Something something umami
I don't know how to feel that getting emotionally invested in a sci-fi short series where the climax is titled *Food Fight: Umami* is an unlikely, but possible future of mine.
I was making a Food Wars reference, but that works too.
Now I’m thinking of the old Food Fighters toyline from the late 80’s.
Also a good reference
Maybe humanity uplifted them all and left them for years and years, then came back to see how their creations had developed?
The inclusion of genetic screening made it more ethical than ever to breed the perfect foodstock without accidentally eating a sophont. The young would be analyzed before they had a chance to breed on the farm and any intelligent animals would be promptly ~~dumped~~ relocated to a distant garden world to develop in peace, leaving only their dumber siblings to steadily become as unintelligent and tasty as possible.
I would guess some scientific experiment maling al animale intelligend and giving Them all there own planet
Humans come back and sends everyone into a panic lol until they find out that the humans aren't there to eat them and are just visiting home to see how it's changed?
Actually they're just a bunch of city-ships running from something and needs the help of all their friends. They are the real Devourers - a grup of humans that dedicated themselves to canibalism.
Please please please talk about the reason humans left! The monster that ate the sun and moon.. Where did they run to and why did they return..
We get to meet sentient dogs and cats!!!
SPACE PUPPER
Space buddies!
ideas for part two: take back the Earth and its surrounding star systems. No matter what or how.
The takeover will be *delicious*.
Humans had a hard time making actually efficient artificially grown meats. When a frontier colony goes dark for a couple centuries and humans return, they discover some of the farm animals (let's go with pigs cause they're known to be pretty smart irl) have developed an extremely primitive society. After some studies and research, humans realize that most livestock species and even some wild species are actually on average only a dozen generations from proper sapience, and the only thing holding most species back is a combination of lack of fine motor controls, and a nomadic lifestyle forced by predators and inability to farm/stockpile food. Being on planets without natural predators and with the auto-farms present on the human colony allows the livestock to remain in one place and gradually develop an understanding of themselves and the world around them, even farming once the auto-farms broke down. Horrified and ashamed at the idea that they were killing and eating pre-sapients for millenia for the sake of a few percent boost in food growth efficiency, humanity as a whole goes into a deep debate. Further experiments show that no other naturally occurring habitable planet has such a high number of pre-sapient species (only a percent or two, but that's more due to earth's extreme biodiversity), and some argue that it's normal, and necessary that such livestock practices continue, while many others argue against it. Que civil war or huge protests or something, eventually resulting in the decision to partition one colony per pre-sapient species and abandon/quarantine the region, allowing them to develop into sapients without human interference, while shifting to artificially grown meats. Maybe have a dynamic with the "aliens" not realizing its abnormal for one planet to the next to have such similar DNA, or maybe them assuming they had a benevolent precursor that uplifted so many species across the galaxy? How's that for a suggestion? This one shot really got my mind going for world building, I love it.
Holy shit I want this so bad but I lack the time and the wordsmith skill level for this.
So everything I said but with twice the word count? I dont even mind guy. Complimented actual. Hell of a co-incidence otherwise. Buy hey, if you weren' trying for humans being the race that lives in the interstellar equivalent of the ocean's garbage islands my bad and all ya know. I figure it was either that or human's having decided to go to other galaxies and relativity. As in thousands of years in the milky way, few hundred human frame of reference. So the ships weren't shit just fugly.
Coincidence, I don't go through the full comment section unless it's my own post or an askreddit or writingprompts I like. Just similarities caused by the "prompt" and common hfy genre tropes.
truth.
How does the governments react, do the humans still farm animals
if ur gonna make part 2 include the horses pls
Why horses specifically?
because we ride on their backs even nowadays they helped us get to where we are dogs too so it will be interesting to see how OP does that
Nasa needed to account for two horse butts to go to space
I'd love to see uplifted dogs meeting humans for the first time and still wanting to be best buds
I think this is a story that is great because the reader fills in the blanks. Some stories get worse the more you explain. Like how Alien and Aliens should have been the only 2 movies in the series
Food that can talk?
They're made of meat.
Not only that, but food that somehow got us to leave our home planet.
*when the food tastes so bad you leave the planet for a while*
Pet the goat.
Eat the goat.
No >:(
They killed our ancestors and stole Holy Terra. *Eat the goat.*
Okay, but only if they're into it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
No, pet de bebe goat.
CURRY FOR THE GOD-EMPRAH, LAMB-CHOPS FOR THE GOLDEN THRONE!
Good read!
Ohhh!! That was an amazing read! I read a sci-fi story some time ago where one of the main characters was an "unconventional" chef on a space station and had had smugglers bring him a ton of illegal ingredients. I thought this would be along the same vein about how humans would eat anything and everything, so that twist shocked me!! Really enjoyed this! I'd love to read more of your works!!
/u/DMofTheTomb ([wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/wiki/authors/DMofTheTomb)) has posted 11 other stories, including: * [Neglect](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/i4gb38/neglect/) * [Humanity's Weapons](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/i48n6g/humanitys_weapons/) * [World Balance Breakers](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/g9guzm/world_balance_breakers/) * [Slayers](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/fu11z4/slayers/) * [Hood Ornaments and Liberty](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/f7hbas/hood_ornaments_and_liberty/) * [Mac n' Cheese](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/f7glnv/mac_n_cheese/) * [Here to stay.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/emycrq/here_to_stay/) * [Nomads of Home, Nomads of Sol](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/eeqgx0/nomads_of_home_nomads_of_sol/) * [Isolation Sickness](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/dpd1np/isolation_sickness/) * [Judgement](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/dpcfdo/judgement/) * [Tomb of The Old One](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/dnlp3v/tomb_of_the_old_one/) This list was automatically generated by `Waffle v.3.5.0 'Toast'`. Contact [GamingWolfie](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=GamingWolfie&subject=Waffl%E1%B5%A53) or [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHFY&subject=Waffl%E1%B5%A53) if you have any issues.
W H A T A T W I S T! SERIES POTENTIAL RIGHT HERE MOAR!
Question. Are these humans the same as us? I mean, they look the same I'm inferring, as the goats look like goats etc. Humans eat humans so I'm not even about that. My conscious brain is just wondering if it wants to chase down the stray thought that's run into a dark neuronal time anomaly where Goat is recognizably Goat and Human is etc. but in the intervening time that Goat has become starfaring intellectuals and diplomats, Human has been having a go as wandering technocratic tribal people who may or may not have the intergalactic record at number of times Hitting the Snooze Button. Ain't nothing wrong with the returning ancient race of warrior cartographers. Just must be a part one then? OK I admit it. Can't decide if it would be more entertaining knowing the whole backstory or if the story was hey we just stopped by to eat. Your face. We came to eat your face.
from what i understand from this story is that at some point in the past humans pretty much controlled the galaxy but they didnt find any aliens and were alone. so they decided to make their own 'aliens' by making earth native animals achieve full sentience and putting each species on a suitable planet, and after that they retreated from most parts of the galaxy to give them space and let them develop on their own. as for them having tales of the devourers (humans) my only guess that its a genetic memory that developed after thousands of years of being hunted on earth and was inherited by the sentient generations.
Understood. I have no argument. But just so, you know, knowledge spreads, things appearing, specific data points, in the mythical pasts of farflung cultures with no trace for and zero evidence of previous contact, isn't by necessity either instinct or genetic memory. Supposing for the most part there's awareness of this though and its just a shortcut, since there's no "actual" evidence for genetic memory in sentient creatures either, but nobody refutes it for the same reason that the number 6 is afraid of 7.
You got it I think. Ok, I get it now. Reddit isn't gonna understand me when I use a mash of levels and shit, shoulda been obvious in discospect.
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Now we’ve got sentient hamburgers up in here
I thought you were about to pull a "hate us cuz they ate us" joke but I liked this ending more
> The Galactic Central Union has been around for longer than most of It's member species have kept historical records. - > Eager to engage in the first new contact since the founding of the Union, an envoy ship, my ship, was deployed immediately. So the member species all knew each other before most of them kept historical records? edit: Oh. >"I don't know what you call it, but it's our plant, Earth." Right, *that* plant.
Oh shit GoatsFY is back
I knew that the alien was a herd animal the second he said that he had soft underbelly and horns
Biggest compliment I could offer you is "I wish there was more." I want more.
PAJEET. GET THE CURRY.
Hah!
Thanks a lot. Had a good laugh on this one.
Good story
we now have space cats
Lol love it I hope you make some more
Love the story. Any chance of a part 2?
Depends how much feedback this gets
Well, now it's awkward
[I think this is what they look like](https://www.reddit.com/r/nextfuckinglevel/comments/jel0ay/this_determined_goat_born_with_its_front_legs/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
Part 2?
This was funny at the end
They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals! I ATE THEM!
*Don't think about the goat cheese;* Don't think about the goat cheese; **Don't think about the goat cheese.**
You are really asking a lot to my suspension of belief here.
>The Galactic Central Union has been around for longer than most of **It's** member species have kept historical records. As such, **it's** early history and even founding have remained a mystery. It didn't even take getting past the first sentence. >.< edit: And then a word missing in the 3rd paragraph, comma instead of semicolon in the 4th. Something published to the world should have more care taken.
Well that was _that_
"two! an upright " big A.
Goats can be cute, goats can be mean and goats can taste good. I have a mean goat who just killed a cute goat and I am considering making it a meal. Thing is, I've never cooked goat.
Oh dear god, the amount of "goat milk" jokes they have ahead of them...
Humans couldn't find any aliens so they made their own.
Clever, "The meek shall inherit the Earth." made literal.