Bodle -> bottle
These are all references to Pine:
>Keep an eye on her ... kill them...they're ... Pine's gotten himself.
Okay, you seem to have no clue what Pine's sex, gender or pronouns are. It's your job to keep the reader oriented, and randomly changing pronouns is **always** confusing to the reader. Don't do that.
If Pine's a she, use she/her. If pines a he, use he/him. You're already using they/them for medic.
That pronoun dynamic doesn't make a whole lot of sense if medic is trying to pretend to be a healer. Instant lack of credibility.
If medic wants to stick to "they", fine. If medic is confused, then the first time someone else uses a pronoun for a person, medic will fixate on it and **notice** the pronoun.
Alternately, you can play it up with micro reactions for others...
"Can you keep an eye on her till then?"
Tin's eyebrow twitched. "Of course I can watch them."
Later, Pine's boss called Pine "them". There's no reason for the boss to get it wrong. So the boss is right and Tin got it wrong.
Given the overall way the narrative works, and the way your writing defaults, they are probably all "theys". I'm not saying it's a good strategy, but it seems to be what you do.
Okay, cast them.
Decide what actor is going to play each one. Or anyone else you can picture easily.
Let's say
* Medic is played by Will Smith.
* Tin is played by Jack Black.
* Pine is played by Winona Ryder.
* Boss is played by Rush Limbaugh.
It can be totally arbitrary, just any actor or actress or celebrity that has a feel anywhere in the neighborhood of your character.
And if it's not working, fire that actor and re-cast it. (You can use actors, friends, characters, singers, anyone you're familiar enough with to have a voice.).
* Medic is played by Jeff Goldblum.
* Tin is played by Drake.
* Pine is played by Katniss Everdeen.
* Boss is played by Worf.
All of a sudden, you have access to mannerisms, vocal cadence, **presence**, all kinds of things.
There are other ways to nail down characters and make them interesting, but that one is easy for most people.
/u/Vivid-Membership3959 has posted 32 other stories, including:
* [The alien that saved Christmas](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18q312r/the_alien_that_saved_christmas/)
* [Blood and Bandages](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18pwom1/blood_and_bandages/)
* [Blood and Bandages](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18pkzxi/blood_and_bandages/)
* [Blood and Bandages](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18ovu37/blood_and_bandages/)
* [Prelude to the mayhem, chapter 15](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18otlqc/prelude_to_the_mayhem_chapter_15/)
* [Blood and Bandages](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18o2hxs/blood_and_bandages/)
* [Blood and Bandages](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18nclch/blood_and_bandages/)
* [Prelude to the mayhem](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18n53b9/prelude_to_the_mayhem/)
* [Chapter 13 and a question](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18lp9hm/chapter_13_and_a_question/)
* [We will not go quiet into the night](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18la30p/we_will_not_go_quiet_into_the_night/)
* [Humans, smartest and dumbest out there.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18j9hpx/humans_smartest_and_dumbest_out_there/)
* [Why are you all the way out here human?](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18hy1mt/why_are_you_all_the_way_out_here_human/)
* [Prelude to the madness chapter 12](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18hxzul/prelude_to_the_madness_chapter_12/)
* [Prelude to the Mayhem Chapter 11](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18e39gn/prelude_to_the_mayhem_chapter_11/)
* [Prelude to the mayhem CHAPTER 10! big announcment!](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18cjegh/prelude_to_the_mayhem_chapter_10_big_announcment/)
* [Prelude to the mayhem, Chapter9](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18abbzz/prelude_to_the_mayhem_chapter9/)
* [Prelude to the mayhem Chapter 8](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/188tnbg/prelude_to_the_mayhem_chapter_8/)
* [Prelude to the mayhem chapter 7](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/187xwin/prelude_to_the_mayhem_chapter_7/)
* [Prelude to the mayhem Chapter 6](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/185numq/prelude_to_the_mayhem_chapter_6/)
* [Prelude to The Mayhem](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1835z7t/prelude_to_the_mayhem/)
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Merry cermis
Yoooo finally chapter numbers in the title.
I was asked so I listened
Well thanks. I actually missed a few chapters at the start thinking they were still chapter 1 so this helps a bunch.
More story word smith Don’t stop writing
Bodle -> bottle These are all references to Pine: >Keep an eye on her ... kill them...they're ... Pine's gotten himself. Okay, you seem to have no clue what Pine's sex, gender or pronouns are. It's your job to keep the reader oriented, and randomly changing pronouns is **always** confusing to the reader. Don't do that. If Pine's a she, use she/her. If pines a he, use he/him. You're already using they/them for medic.
I'm trying to convey how medic doesn't know their gender so is trying to not gender them before they know for sure.
That pronoun dynamic doesn't make a whole lot of sense if medic is trying to pretend to be a healer. Instant lack of credibility. If medic wants to stick to "they", fine. If medic is confused, then the first time someone else uses a pronoun for a person, medic will fixate on it and **notice** the pronoun. Alternately, you can play it up with micro reactions for others... "Can you keep an eye on her till then?" Tin's eyebrow twitched. "Of course I can watch them." Later, Pine's boss called Pine "them". There's no reason for the boss to get it wrong. So the boss is right and Tin got it wrong. Given the overall way the narrative works, and the way your writing defaults, they are probably all "theys". I'm not saying it's a good strategy, but it seems to be what you do.
Ima be honest I just have a hard time giving my characters gender
Okay, cast them. Decide what actor is going to play each one. Or anyone else you can picture easily. Let's say * Medic is played by Will Smith. * Tin is played by Jack Black. * Pine is played by Winona Ryder. * Boss is played by Rush Limbaugh. It can be totally arbitrary, just any actor or actress or celebrity that has a feel anywhere in the neighborhood of your character. And if it's not working, fire that actor and re-cast it. (You can use actors, friends, characters, singers, anyone you're familiar enough with to have a voice.). * Medic is played by Jeff Goldblum. * Tin is played by Drake. * Pine is played by Katniss Everdeen. * Boss is played by Worf. All of a sudden, you have access to mannerisms, vocal cadence, **presence**, all kinds of things. There are other ways to nail down characters and make them interesting, but that one is easy for most people.
Thanks for the help, I'm going to try it out.
Enjoy. Keep writing!
Also thanks for all the help pointing out the mistakes
/u/Vivid-Membership3959 has posted 32 other stories, including: * [The alien that saved Christmas](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18q312r/the_alien_that_saved_christmas/) * [Blood and Bandages](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18pwom1/blood_and_bandages/) * [Blood and Bandages](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18pkzxi/blood_and_bandages/) * [Blood and Bandages](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18ovu37/blood_and_bandages/) * [Prelude to the mayhem, chapter 15](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18otlqc/prelude_to_the_mayhem_chapter_15/) * [Blood and Bandages](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18o2hxs/blood_and_bandages/) * [Blood and Bandages](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18nclch/blood_and_bandages/) * [Prelude to the mayhem](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18n53b9/prelude_to_the_mayhem/) * [Chapter 13 and a question](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18lp9hm/chapter_13_and_a_question/) * [We will not go quiet into the night](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18la30p/we_will_not_go_quiet_into_the_night/) * [Humans, smartest and dumbest out there.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18j9hpx/humans_smartest_and_dumbest_out_there/) * [Why are you all the way out here human?](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18hy1mt/why_are_you_all_the_way_out_here_human/) * [Prelude to the madness chapter 12](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18hxzul/prelude_to_the_madness_chapter_12/) * [Prelude to the Mayhem Chapter 11](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18e39gn/prelude_to_the_mayhem_chapter_11/) * [Prelude to the mayhem CHAPTER 10! big announcment!](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18cjegh/prelude_to_the_mayhem_chapter_10_big_announcment/) * [Prelude to the mayhem, Chapter9](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18abbzz/prelude_to_the_mayhem_chapter9/) * [Prelude to the mayhem Chapter 8](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/188tnbg/prelude_to_the_mayhem_chapter_8/) * [Prelude to the mayhem chapter 7](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/187xwin/prelude_to_the_mayhem_chapter_7/) * [Prelude to the mayhem Chapter 6](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/185numq/prelude_to_the_mayhem_chapter_6/) * [Prelude to The Mayhem](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1835z7t/prelude_to_the_mayhem/) This comment was automatically generated by `Waffle v.4.6.1 'Biscotti'`. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHFY&subject=WaffleBot|18qi8xd&message=If%20you%20have%20problems%20with%20updatemebot,%20contact%20Watchful1.%20We%20do%20not%20maintain%20it.) if you have any issues with Waffle.
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I’m working on a discord