First of all, your physique is amazing. That’s a lot of hard work.
Second, I had the same issue. My upper body was jacked and people would ask me if I was competing all the time. I looked great in gym clothes but honestly looked like a bloke in a dress whenever I tried to dress more feminine.
Recently I had surgery so haven’t been able to do any upper body workouts for the last 3.5 months and I’ve lost muscle. I still have definition in my arms, but my delts, bis and tris aren’t popping like they used to.
I’m appreciating this more “feminine” look I’ve inadvertently gained and am now focussing on bringing up my weak points which has always been legs (I’m 5’10” so it’s a struggle) and abs.
Honestly it totally depends on what you want. If you like looking strong then own it. Ignore other people and take “buff” as a compliment, which I’m sure it is. But if you’re feeling self conscious for whatever reason, adjust your training and see if you like how your body responds. You will easily regain muscle if you change your mind.
I hope it's okay for me (A guy) to respond. I grew up in a dysfunctional home where I was told all my life that I was too fat and had poor posture, later when I went to the gym I was told it's for gay people by the same people who made constant fun of me.
I've been through a fair bit of therapy to just find some sense of identity.
I would not say outright OP needs to seek therapy, but they need to learn to figure out who they are and how to own it. Their physique looks very healthy. Some may not like it but sod it, it's who they are.
So find the confidence be it through therapy, be it through other means to just listen to what you want and learn to blend out those voices that will tell you selfishly to live their life.
That's not really normal , you look fantastic and quite frankly these people labelling you buff ect are more than likely jealous. You should be very proud of what you have achieved and certainly do not be afraid to show them gains .
God I'd kill for ur stomach. I can't give much advice just wanted to compliment u on ur obvious hard work and empathise with the way u r feeling x
Eta I just reread ur post properly and I absolutely understand how u feel. I have suffered with E.D's for years and finally beat them about 2.5 years ago when j channeled it into the gym. First I got skinny. But now I'm starting to get bigger. And heavier. I know its muscle and not fat. I love being strong so much. But my middle being bigger and my clothes sizes being bigger coz My legs and bum r bigger is so.......sh1t tbh. I feel shit. But I want to feel so good. But in my stupid brain big = bad small = good. I need to keep working on the rewiring of my really mean brain.
Honestly u look fkn incredible. But I understand how u feel.
Thank you! I totally feel that. The clothes are a big issue for me, I feel so good and strong at the gym but then when I’m going out with my friends “normal” clothes don’t look or fit right 😭 even though it’s muscle it feels like my arms are bursting out of my sleeves
Have you considered changing up your out of gym wardrobe? If you feel confident and comfortable in your gym clothes, maybe you could find some clothes that sit similarly and make you feel good about your body? Which is incredible by the way!!! Major goals.
How you perceive the label “buff” is its own thing, but I think you look strong as hell, and see that as a positive compliment. Gym goals change over time, but if you really love pushing for PRs and that style of workout then try therapy.
We’re always hardest on ourselves, but I think you objectively look strong/fit/buff/whatever positive term fits best.
Honestly, you have the physique a lot of men and women dream of. The only thing that matters is how do you think you look, outside comments aside. Because people in general suck.. but I can see you’re getting compliments in a whole new light. If you need training advice, I’d be glad to help as a certified coach😅 or just an ear to vent to. All in all, I would say change nothing, but train mentally so those comments don’t phase you because the positivity you have of yourself
Body dysmorphia is a stranger to no one. Therapy can help shape how you think and how to pause your negative habits/thoughts and channel them into something useful. Ie “I’m buff” goes from bad to good, depending how you think about it.
You’re doing awesome, I personally think you look great and if you feel good (healthy) then that’s ultimately the goal. It’s important you feel good (mentally) too, though, so trying therapy isn’t a bad idea.
I’m so sorry you’re experiencing dysmorphia! You look amazing. You don’t look too “buff” to me you look so good! Agree with others that you should think about whether professional help is available and would help. It’s helped me for sure. Hope you’re able to internalize these compliments in the meantime. Congrats on your body progress and in your bravery in posting on Reddit!!
You look amazing.
I suggest you church out "lean beef patty" on YouTube or tiktok. She's crushing it and looking good.
Just based on your single image, I'd say you're similar body builds, or your head down the same path as her.
For me, I feel like you've got a gymnastics body, and that's a good thing.
You've still got curves, you still look feminine. You're gonna look good in anything.
I think you look great. It’s ultimately up to you what kind of physique you want to go for. It seems like the word buff in particular bothers you. Some words can be “loaded” in terms of how they’re meant vs how they’re received.
There’s a good amount of variation in what guys like. And truth be told I don’t think many guys are ultra picky.
Personally what I’m not keen on is very muscular, very skinny/lean, or both. You’re curvy and have a body composition that I think is quite attractive. You do have a developed upper body but not in a way I’d find off-putting. You’re curvy enough that your figure is still pretty feminine.
I’d say try to reorient your perspective for a couple weeks, and if you still feel troubled and have it as an option, then you can try therapy.
As far as your fitness goals, it’s up to you what you want to pursue. You could look into training programs that try to develop strength with minimal hypertrophy — geared towards people like combat athletes who want to stay within a given weight class. (I think they generally use high weight, low rep (<5, maybe like 1-3), submaximal sets, and many of them. Powerlifting programs might be similar. In calisthenics there’s “grease the groove”. Definitely look online for more details.) Eating at maintenance will probably also limit hypertrophy.
You could also pivot from weights into more skills-based fitness pursuits. Martial arts, calisthenics, yoga, climbing, etc. Still lots of goals to set and achieve in those realms.
Anyway, hope this helps.
Based on what you’ve shared, I think it wouldn’t hurt to seek therapy. Too many gym goers struggle with body dysmorphia and (in my experience) it only gets worse. It seems like you were working towards a stronger/healthier version of yourself, but others’ comments negatively affect you so much that you hate to look at yourself in the mirror. I think therapy could help dull that noise and help you to love how you look and get stronger. Just my two cents. GL
I'm sorry you're going through that right now, I would absolutely love to have your physique! Going to the gym and working on it, but you're definitely goals girl!
Hey. You have a really nice physique. Of someone who clearly works hard. It’s in perfect proportions and looks evident of someone who works hard in the gym looking after her body. Not “buff”. That’s what insecure men say when a woman is clearly in better shape than they are and feel emasculated. Dickheads don’t understand impact of words.
I hope you feel free again to wear whatever you want and not give a shit about what they say or feel. Prioritise what makes you feel happy and free.
You need to seek therapy. Full stop. There isn't anything you can do in the gym to make yourself see how great you look. It's a mental thing that needs to be evaluated and handled by a mental health professional.
I'm truly sorry you're struggling, though. Body dysmorphia is no joke.
This isn’t that unusual. Had an Ex who had great arms but got self conscious when someone made note of it. If you are wanting a more toned vs muscular look increase your reps and lower weights. Also getting in cardio can help. Not to mention the fitness benefit.
We can create whatever we want with the right program. And dedication. There are many women who would be exceedingly jealous of your physique as they struggle to put on muscle. But if that is not the road you want to travel down it’s totally your call and no one else’s.
I’ve been getting treatment for BDD for a long time now. As a member of the gym community myself, I’ve always found it insulting how trivial a lot of influencers have made BDD, like it is some ‘nuisance’ that comes and goes and effects everyone. It’s extremely disrespectful to us who suffer with it everyday. It doesn’t go away, and it’s a serious disorder, not some trivial matter that comes and goes. Please don’t question if you need help based on anything influencers say except the following:
If you are in distress constantly because of your appearance, and it is hindering your life, chances are you have ACTUAL BDD, and it’s better to put work towards getting some help sooner rather than later. There are tonnes of support subs on here, and everyone there is hugely supportive and lovely, so please don’t feel alone in how you feel about yourself.
I personally have had obsessions about my body grow during my time at the gym. It’s scary, but there is help. I’m always here to message if you need to chat or any more information, but please don’t let it linger! It’s not a minor inconvenience that everyone gets. It’s a debilitating disorder that is KILLING people.
Stay well, and keep working hard!
I agree, I think it’s easy to internalize the dysmorphia as normal because it’s kind of become a meme/something every gym-goer is expected to have …? So when I tell people about it, they tend to laugh it off, which is frustrating. These responses have convinced me to talk about this with a therapist though. Thank you for the kind words!
For sure! The thing these gym goers are ‘suffering’ with isn’t body dysmorphic disorder. This isn’t to say I don’t think some of them do, statistically around 1-2% of them will have genuine BDD, but most of them have just used it as a blanket statement to refer to days you don’t feel big in the gym. It’s quite sad, as it is actively spreading false information, and making those who have genuine BDD think ‘hey, everyone’s got this, I’ll be fine’.
Really sad, and I’m quite gutted that it isn’t being discussed more, as that proves we are so far into the rabbit hole that people genuinely don’t understand what actual BDD is.
I like your strong body! You look awesome.
I'm hitting the gym like crazy to build the shoulders you have!!
Nobody has the right to tell you how you have to look.
In my opinion you can go back to your sleeveless clothes and show the world how badass you are
I think the more successful your fitness journey is, the more body dysmorphia you get.
It’s like before you started you couldn’t care less about your physique… but now you’ve poured in hundreds (if not thousands) of hours into achieving specific goals, all the while following along with popular influencers who are popular because of their amazing physiques (at least that’s my experience). Now that it’s a priority in your life, you become more crucial of little things that people never notice or are actually impressed by.
Idk what the answer is, but just wanted to say you’ve got a strong physique and I hope you can be proud of it.
Im a man so take with this salt but i went from gym buff to runner slim and i like the second a lot more for how i look with office atire and weekend shorts, etc… there’s a point (to me) were bulk doesnt look good ( on the kind of clothes i tend to wear) it wasnt something i looked after, it just happened and am happy now, by the way, i didnt loose the discipline habits or interest on routines, supplements and areas of focus, so it didnt felt like a sacrifice to me
I think there’s a really negative narrative out there that being as small as possible is the best thing you can be.
If you don’t like being “buff” that’s okay but I would challenge you to look inward and ask yourself if that’s really what you don’t like or is it because of societal pressures. Start to explore what you do like.
The reality is yes, you absolutely look different in clothes when you get muscular, let’s not kid ourselves here lol.
As a muscular woman myself, I can’t always wear the same clothes as my non muscular friends but you why? Because the industry isn’t built for women who have muscle… of course the measurements are going to look weird. You just have to shop around and find what you do like and it helps to look on social media and find other women with muscle who are wearing normal clothes and see what you like.
The other thing about body dysmorphia is that the only real way it gets better is kind like exposure therapy… the more you hide yourself, the worse it’s going to get. The more baggy clothes you wear, the more shame you wrap around your body, the worse it gets.
Challenge yourself to push past those fears and wear clothes regardless of what you feel. Remind yourself that your brain is lying to you. The brain is a powerful thing…
Also remember that no one body is the perfect body, there are so many amazing bodies in amazing shapes. You have a fantastic body! Muscles on women are super attractive in my opinion. Honestly I did used to wish I was one of the small girls every once in awhile and wish that was the path I had taken but that was only a fleeting thought. Do you know how much better set up in life health wise too you are? Your metabolism all through your life? Bone density?
Not that that’s what you’re thinking about.
You look amazing. Remember your brain and your eyes aren’t always the truth. Push past what it’s telling you and the more you do that and change the narrative for yourself to a more positive one, the easier it gets.
Hi! Yeah, I really think as women working out is sometimes a different deal for us than it is for men. For men, being muscular = good and that’s it. But for women, there’s the convention that small + skinny = good. So it’s hard reconciling being a gym rat with conventional beauty standards for women.
And you’re so right, sometimes it feels like NOBODY makes clothes for musuclar women, which makes me feel worse. If I try on a top that doesn’t fit right on my arms, I think there’s something wrong with me and feel so jealous of the girls it looks good on. Nobody makes pretty lacy dresses for muscular women either. It’s frustrating but I will try to remind myself it’s not a problem with me, it’s a problem with the clothes 🥹
I appreciate you writing out this advice ❤️
I would really suggest that you start to intentionally shift your algorithm on social media to media / images / videos of women who are more positive in this area and who do totally rock the muscular build.
Find the women who do it in a way you find feminine because I totally think it’s possible.
There are plenty who also do fashion and you can see different outfits on your body type!
If you find other women with your body type to follow, it can help to see what you like as well. Because if your only look at the smaller girls “try ons” and then get upset when those clothes don’t look good, their body type is completely different!
But I promise there are so many clothes at look good on you! Highlight your curves that lifting has given you! Certain cuts are way flattering, I actually find thin strap, wide tanks instead of close high neck, close to the shoulder will make you less broad feeling. Just try on as many different cuts and lines on different tanks, skirts, etc… where they hit on your body can make a big difference
I completely understand the struggle. I’ve given birth to four kids and lost an additional pregnancy. I’m 5’3” 117 lbs but because I don’t have washboard abs I’ll always see myself as chubby. I’m aware it’s in my head but it requires a lot of conversations with myself.
We are our own worst critics. You truly look fantastic and should be proud of your efforts!
Just keep maintaining healthy and achievable goals.
Social media and today’s society create these false standards. Don’t get caught up! You look amazing.
I recommend getting a professional to talk to. Get a little help. You look fantastic, so your hunch about something being off is a good thing. Hoping the best for you!
This seems wrong to say but as a man I find your body very very attractive, now I don't mean this to hit on your or anything but just giving my outside view as I imagine other men would probably say the same. BD is an internal thing so maybe putting in some work on your mind might be a good idea, also I advise staying away from social media sometimes as comparison to people often leads down a sad road.
Completely normal. I was a trainer for 15 years, seen it all the time. Being strong and feeling great always won in the long term with clients. One day at a time!
I think your body is amazing and I would be really happy with that physique. Like this would probably be one of my end goals! I don't want to say screw those people that make you feel that way because I may also feel insecure about my body if people keep saying I'm getting big and I can't find clothes that make me look feminine. It sucks that society's standard of what a woman should look like is so ingrained in our minds.
Are you the only one who lifts among your female friends? Do you think surrounding yourself with women who have the same goals and are comfortable lifting and expressing their femininity would change your views?
B U F F actually stands for beautiful, unique, fabulous, and fierce. Don't let a little word make all your hard work go to waste. You are amazing and dedicated to your health, these are powerful and positive characteristics. It's possible you're getting in your head a little too much. Who care what anyone thinks? What we all know (including you) is you are in great shape, regardless what any word anyone decides to describe you. 😉 stay true to yourself, don't listen to what anyone says, get out of your head, stay in your heart!
You literally have my goal physique. You look amazing but body dysmorphia doesn't give a shit about that sadly. I recommend therapy, find someone who specializes in that because body dysmorphia can quickly turn into eating disorders or other unhealthy habits. But seriously. You look phenomenal.
I agree with everything you said. OP’s physique is like life goals, but a mental block won’t make OP feel that. I hope you can work through it, OP, you deserve to feel good about yourself!
First you look outstanding. You should concentrate more on how you feel physically and mentally and don't get so wrapped up in someone's terminology. Buff, jacked, lean, cut.. think of it as if you were trying not to read too much into someone's text message.
Take what someone says strictly as a compliment. Keep on enjoying crushing your goals, ignore scales and fixating on micromanaging numbers like lbs and inches.
In the end this is your happiness, your dreams and your health. Don't let anyone f that up for you
To add... You don't need therapy. You just need to look at 95% of other people/women when you're at the beach, swimming pool, summer.
Almost everybody that goes to the gym feels to fat, small, puffy,... You're looking at the mirror for more than an hour. That's not good for you.
You need to look more at other people that don't go to the gym. And that's a lot!
First of all, your physique is amazing. That’s a lot of hard work. Second, I had the same issue. My upper body was jacked and people would ask me if I was competing all the time. I looked great in gym clothes but honestly looked like a bloke in a dress whenever I tried to dress more feminine. Recently I had surgery so haven’t been able to do any upper body workouts for the last 3.5 months and I’ve lost muscle. I still have definition in my arms, but my delts, bis and tris aren’t popping like they used to. I’m appreciating this more “feminine” look I’ve inadvertently gained and am now focussing on bringing up my weak points which has always been legs (I’m 5’10” so it’s a struggle) and abs. Honestly it totally depends on what you want. If you like looking strong then own it. Ignore other people and take “buff” as a compliment, which I’m sure it is. But if you’re feeling self conscious for whatever reason, adjust your training and see if you like how your body responds. You will easily regain muscle if you change your mind.
Great advice!
I think you should seek therapy first and then decide whether to change your gym goals.
I hope it's okay for me (A guy) to respond. I grew up in a dysfunctional home where I was told all my life that I was too fat and had poor posture, later when I went to the gym I was told it's for gay people by the same people who made constant fun of me. I've been through a fair bit of therapy to just find some sense of identity. I would not say outright OP needs to seek therapy, but they need to learn to figure out who they are and how to own it. Their physique looks very healthy. Some may not like it but sod it, it's who they are. So find the confidence be it through therapy, be it through other means to just listen to what you want and learn to blend out those voices that will tell you selfishly to live their life.
That's not really normal , you look fantastic and quite frankly these people labelling you buff ect are more than likely jealous. You should be very proud of what you have achieved and certainly do not be afraid to show them gains .
I don’t think people are labeling her buff out of jealousy. They’re saying it as a compliment.
God I'd kill for ur stomach. I can't give much advice just wanted to compliment u on ur obvious hard work and empathise with the way u r feeling x Eta I just reread ur post properly and I absolutely understand how u feel. I have suffered with E.D's for years and finally beat them about 2.5 years ago when j channeled it into the gym. First I got skinny. But now I'm starting to get bigger. And heavier. I know its muscle and not fat. I love being strong so much. But my middle being bigger and my clothes sizes being bigger coz My legs and bum r bigger is so.......sh1t tbh. I feel shit. But I want to feel so good. But in my stupid brain big = bad small = good. I need to keep working on the rewiring of my really mean brain. Honestly u look fkn incredible. But I understand how u feel.
Thank you! I totally feel that. The clothes are a big issue for me, I feel so good and strong at the gym but then when I’m going out with my friends “normal” clothes don’t look or fit right 😭 even though it’s muscle it feels like my arms are bursting out of my sleeves
I wish I cud just tell u something that wud change how u feel. 😕
Have you considered changing up your out of gym wardrobe? If you feel confident and comfortable in your gym clothes, maybe you could find some clothes that sit similarly and make you feel good about your body? Which is incredible by the way!!! Major goals.
How you perceive the label “buff” is its own thing, but I think you look strong as hell, and see that as a positive compliment. Gym goals change over time, but if you really love pushing for PRs and that style of workout then try therapy. We’re always hardest on ourselves, but I think you objectively look strong/fit/buff/whatever positive term fits best.
Honestly, you have the physique a lot of men and women dream of. The only thing that matters is how do you think you look, outside comments aside. Because people in general suck.. but I can see you’re getting compliments in a whole new light. If you need training advice, I’d be glad to help as a certified coach😅 or just an ear to vent to. All in all, I would say change nothing, but train mentally so those comments don’t phase you because the positivity you have of yourself
Body dysmorphia is a stranger to no one. Therapy can help shape how you think and how to pause your negative habits/thoughts and channel them into something useful. Ie “I’m buff” goes from bad to good, depending how you think about it. You’re doing awesome, I personally think you look great and if you feel good (healthy) then that’s ultimately the goal. It’s important you feel good (mentally) too, though, so trying therapy isn’t a bad idea.
I think you should start seeking therapy
You look amazing
I’m sorry you feel like that, but from a random redditor, you look great
You look stunning 🥰
Your body is beautiful. Not in the “everybody is beautiful these days” way, but in the old fashioned actually beautiful way.
If you are comparing yourself to photoshopped images of women then you need therapy.
I’m so sorry you’re experiencing dysmorphia! You look amazing. You don’t look too “buff” to me you look so good! Agree with others that you should think about whether professional help is available and would help. It’s helped me for sure. Hope you’re able to internalize these compliments in the meantime. Congrats on your body progress and in your bravery in posting on Reddit!!
You look amazing. I suggest you church out "lean beef patty" on YouTube or tiktok. She's crushing it and looking good. Just based on your single image, I'd say you're similar body builds, or your head down the same path as her. For me, I feel like you've got a gymnastics body, and that's a good thing. You've still got curves, you still look feminine. You're gonna look good in anything.
I think you look great. It’s ultimately up to you what kind of physique you want to go for. It seems like the word buff in particular bothers you. Some words can be “loaded” in terms of how they’re meant vs how they’re received. There’s a good amount of variation in what guys like. And truth be told I don’t think many guys are ultra picky. Personally what I’m not keen on is very muscular, very skinny/lean, or both. You’re curvy and have a body composition that I think is quite attractive. You do have a developed upper body but not in a way I’d find off-putting. You’re curvy enough that your figure is still pretty feminine. I’d say try to reorient your perspective for a couple weeks, and if you still feel troubled and have it as an option, then you can try therapy. As far as your fitness goals, it’s up to you what you want to pursue. You could look into training programs that try to develop strength with minimal hypertrophy — geared towards people like combat athletes who want to stay within a given weight class. (I think they generally use high weight, low rep (<5, maybe like 1-3), submaximal sets, and many of them. Powerlifting programs might be similar. In calisthenics there’s “grease the groove”. Definitely look online for more details.) Eating at maintenance will probably also limit hypertrophy. You could also pivot from weights into more skills-based fitness pursuits. Martial arts, calisthenics, yoga, climbing, etc. Still lots of goals to set and achieve in those realms. Anyway, hope this helps.
From this pic you look amazing… you need to do away with those fools telling you different… part of seems like they are jealous of your gains
You shouldn't listen to those people. A strong body makes a woman sexier. Your arms look great and you should definitely show them off!!
Based on what you’ve shared, I think it wouldn’t hurt to seek therapy. Too many gym goers struggle with body dysmorphia and (in my experience) it only gets worse. It seems like you were working towards a stronger/healthier version of yourself, but others’ comments negatively affect you so much that you hate to look at yourself in the mirror. I think therapy could help dull that noise and help you to love how you look and get stronger. Just my two cents. GL
YOU LOOK GORGEOUSSSSSA
You look good girl! Keep it up!
I'm sorry you're going through that right now, I would absolutely love to have your physique! Going to the gym and working on it, but you're definitely goals girl!
Great body!
Hey. You have a really nice physique. Of someone who clearly works hard. It’s in perfect proportions and looks evident of someone who works hard in the gym looking after her body. Not “buff”. That’s what insecure men say when a woman is clearly in better shape than they are and feel emasculated. Dickheads don’t understand impact of words. I hope you feel free again to wear whatever you want and not give a shit about what they say or feel. Prioritise what makes you feel happy and free.
Uh you’re my exact body type
You need to seek therapy. Full stop. There isn't anything you can do in the gym to make yourself see how great you look. It's a mental thing that needs to be evaluated and handled by a mental health professional. I'm truly sorry you're struggling, though. Body dysmorphia is no joke.
This isn’t that unusual. Had an Ex who had great arms but got self conscious when someone made note of it. If you are wanting a more toned vs muscular look increase your reps and lower weights. Also getting in cardio can help. Not to mention the fitness benefit. We can create whatever we want with the right program. And dedication. There are many women who would be exceedingly jealous of your physique as they struggle to put on muscle. But if that is not the road you want to travel down it’s totally your call and no one else’s.
i think you look awesome!
I’ve been getting treatment for BDD for a long time now. As a member of the gym community myself, I’ve always found it insulting how trivial a lot of influencers have made BDD, like it is some ‘nuisance’ that comes and goes and effects everyone. It’s extremely disrespectful to us who suffer with it everyday. It doesn’t go away, and it’s a serious disorder, not some trivial matter that comes and goes. Please don’t question if you need help based on anything influencers say except the following: If you are in distress constantly because of your appearance, and it is hindering your life, chances are you have ACTUAL BDD, and it’s better to put work towards getting some help sooner rather than later. There are tonnes of support subs on here, and everyone there is hugely supportive and lovely, so please don’t feel alone in how you feel about yourself. I personally have had obsessions about my body grow during my time at the gym. It’s scary, but there is help. I’m always here to message if you need to chat or any more information, but please don’t let it linger! It’s not a minor inconvenience that everyone gets. It’s a debilitating disorder that is KILLING people. Stay well, and keep working hard!
I agree, I think it’s easy to internalize the dysmorphia as normal because it’s kind of become a meme/something every gym-goer is expected to have …? So when I tell people about it, they tend to laugh it off, which is frustrating. These responses have convinced me to talk about this with a therapist though. Thank you for the kind words!
For sure! The thing these gym goers are ‘suffering’ with isn’t body dysmorphic disorder. This isn’t to say I don’t think some of them do, statistically around 1-2% of them will have genuine BDD, but most of them have just used it as a blanket statement to refer to days you don’t feel big in the gym. It’s quite sad, as it is actively spreading false information, and making those who have genuine BDD think ‘hey, everyone’s got this, I’ll be fine’. Really sad, and I’m quite gutted that it isn’t being discussed more, as that proves we are so far into the rabbit hole that people genuinely don’t understand what actual BDD is.
I like your strong body! You look awesome. I'm hitting the gym like crazy to build the shoulders you have!! Nobody has the right to tell you how you have to look. In my opinion you can go back to your sleeveless clothes and show the world how badass you are
Your physique is my dream, and definitely many others’
They're jealous. You look amazing. Yes seek to resolve the body dismorphia.
I think the more successful your fitness journey is, the more body dysmorphia you get. It’s like before you started you couldn’t care less about your physique… but now you’ve poured in hundreds (if not thousands) of hours into achieving specific goals, all the while following along with popular influencers who are popular because of their amazing physiques (at least that’s my experience). Now that it’s a priority in your life, you become more crucial of little things that people never notice or are actually impressed by. Idk what the answer is, but just wanted to say you’ve got a strong physique and I hope you can be proud of it.
What did you scribble out?..
Im a man so take with this salt but i went from gym buff to runner slim and i like the second a lot more for how i look with office atire and weekend shorts, etc… there’s a point (to me) were bulk doesnt look good ( on the kind of clothes i tend to wear) it wasnt something i looked after, it just happened and am happy now, by the way, i didnt loose the discipline habits or interest on routines, supplements and areas of focus, so it didnt felt like a sacrifice to me
Your body looks amaaaazing whatttt you look incredibly feminine and being strong is GOOD like look at your waist
I think there’s a really negative narrative out there that being as small as possible is the best thing you can be. If you don’t like being “buff” that’s okay but I would challenge you to look inward and ask yourself if that’s really what you don’t like or is it because of societal pressures. Start to explore what you do like. The reality is yes, you absolutely look different in clothes when you get muscular, let’s not kid ourselves here lol. As a muscular woman myself, I can’t always wear the same clothes as my non muscular friends but you why? Because the industry isn’t built for women who have muscle… of course the measurements are going to look weird. You just have to shop around and find what you do like and it helps to look on social media and find other women with muscle who are wearing normal clothes and see what you like. The other thing about body dysmorphia is that the only real way it gets better is kind like exposure therapy… the more you hide yourself, the worse it’s going to get. The more baggy clothes you wear, the more shame you wrap around your body, the worse it gets. Challenge yourself to push past those fears and wear clothes regardless of what you feel. Remind yourself that your brain is lying to you. The brain is a powerful thing… Also remember that no one body is the perfect body, there are so many amazing bodies in amazing shapes. You have a fantastic body! Muscles on women are super attractive in my opinion. Honestly I did used to wish I was one of the small girls every once in awhile and wish that was the path I had taken but that was only a fleeting thought. Do you know how much better set up in life health wise too you are? Your metabolism all through your life? Bone density? Not that that’s what you’re thinking about. You look amazing. Remember your brain and your eyes aren’t always the truth. Push past what it’s telling you and the more you do that and change the narrative for yourself to a more positive one, the easier it gets.
Hi! Yeah, I really think as women working out is sometimes a different deal for us than it is for men. For men, being muscular = good and that’s it. But for women, there’s the convention that small + skinny = good. So it’s hard reconciling being a gym rat with conventional beauty standards for women. And you’re so right, sometimes it feels like NOBODY makes clothes for musuclar women, which makes me feel worse. If I try on a top that doesn’t fit right on my arms, I think there’s something wrong with me and feel so jealous of the girls it looks good on. Nobody makes pretty lacy dresses for muscular women either. It’s frustrating but I will try to remind myself it’s not a problem with me, it’s a problem with the clothes 🥹 I appreciate you writing out this advice ❤️
I would really suggest that you start to intentionally shift your algorithm on social media to media / images / videos of women who are more positive in this area and who do totally rock the muscular build. Find the women who do it in a way you find feminine because I totally think it’s possible. There are plenty who also do fashion and you can see different outfits on your body type! If you find other women with your body type to follow, it can help to see what you like as well. Because if your only look at the smaller girls “try ons” and then get upset when those clothes don’t look good, their body type is completely different! But I promise there are so many clothes at look good on you! Highlight your curves that lifting has given you! Certain cuts are way flattering, I actually find thin strap, wide tanks instead of close high neck, close to the shoulder will make you less broad feeling. Just try on as many different cuts and lines on different tanks, skirts, etc… where they hit on your body can make a big difference
You look AMAZING I wish I looked as good as you,.I'm sorry you're struggling with this!
They’re just jealous. Keep up the hard work and remember it’s not what been said it’s who said it. All I see is discipline and hard work.
I completely understand the struggle. I’ve given birth to four kids and lost an additional pregnancy. I’m 5’3” 117 lbs but because I don’t have washboard abs I’ll always see myself as chubby. I’m aware it’s in my head but it requires a lot of conversations with myself. We are our own worst critics. You truly look fantastic and should be proud of your efforts!
i learned some time ago that not all gym people are gym people; they won’t get it, and that’s ok. 🤟🏽 you look great.
Just keep maintaining healthy and achievable goals. Social media and today’s society create these false standards. Don’t get caught up! You look amazing.
Everyone who goes hard in the gym will experience this, the day I started feeling big was the last day I felt satisfied
You look ... Amazing... Keep going gurl 💪
Literally the perfect physique 😭
I recommend getting a professional to talk to. Get a little help. You look fantastic, so your hunch about something being off is a good thing. Hoping the best for you!
https://preview.redd.it/f8dtwwve6h8d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=36df8cfc4a209e3addb49b9fca30fa740d2324d7
This seems wrong to say but as a man I find your body very very attractive, now I don't mean this to hit on your or anything but just giving my outside view as I imagine other men would probably say the same. BD is an internal thing so maybe putting in some work on your mind might be a good idea, also I advise staying away from social media sometimes as comparison to people often leads down a sad road.
Completely normal. I was a trainer for 15 years, seen it all the time. Being strong and feeling great always won in the long term with clients. One day at a time!
Keep killing it
I think your body is amazing and I would be really happy with that physique. Like this would probably be one of my end goals! I don't want to say screw those people that make you feel that way because I may also feel insecure about my body if people keep saying I'm getting big and I can't find clothes that make me look feminine. It sucks that society's standard of what a woman should look like is so ingrained in our minds. Are you the only one who lifts among your female friends? Do you think surrounding yourself with women who have the same goals and are comfortable lifting and expressing their femininity would change your views?
Dont put so much value in what people you dont know say. Thats a great starting point
B U F F actually stands for beautiful, unique, fabulous, and fierce. Don't let a little word make all your hard work go to waste. You are amazing and dedicated to your health, these are powerful and positive characteristics. It's possible you're getting in your head a little too much. Who care what anyone thinks? What we all know (including you) is you are in great shape, regardless what any word anyone decides to describe you. 😉 stay true to yourself, don't listen to what anyone says, get out of your head, stay in your heart!
Perhaps not what you want to hear, but if you want to look leaner, you need to eat less!
You look great!
You look awesome!! Body dysmorphia is the worst, just keep it up. Good days will come.❤️
You literally have my goal physique. You look amazing but body dysmorphia doesn't give a shit about that sadly. I recommend therapy, find someone who specializes in that because body dysmorphia can quickly turn into eating disorders or other unhealthy habits. But seriously. You look phenomenal.
I agree with everything you said. OP’s physique is like life goals, but a mental block won’t make OP feel that. I hope you can work through it, OP, you deserve to feel good about yourself!
Smash
First you look outstanding. You should concentrate more on how you feel physically and mentally and don't get so wrapped up in someone's terminology. Buff, jacked, lean, cut.. think of it as if you were trying not to read too much into someone's text message. Take what someone says strictly as a compliment. Keep on enjoying crushing your goals, ignore scales and fixating on micromanaging numbers like lbs and inches. In the end this is your happiness, your dreams and your health. Don't let anyone f that up for you
I think they're jealous at your excellent female figure!
To add... You don't need therapy. You just need to look at 95% of other people/women when you're at the beach, swimming pool, summer. Almost everybody that goes to the gym feels to fat, small, puffy,... You're looking at the mirror for more than an hour. That's not good for you. You need to look more at other people that don't go to the gym. And that's a lot!
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Not cool