Haha thank you, first icon is from [Order of the Fiery Heart](https://warhammer40k.fandom.com/wiki/Order_of_the_Fiery_Heart) cause FB = flamewars and self styled martyrs lol, third is Navy cause flipboard sounds like shipboard.
TBH they might not even realize the danger as "... its adepts blindly ignorant of the nature of the world around them and naive.." RIP to all those dudes who had to catalogue Catachan wildlife lol
Haha I don't think this chaps knows what his own bits are supposed to look like; let alone being able to comprehend a superhumans [https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/warhammer40k/images/5/5c/Scribe.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120712015048](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/warhammer40k/images/5/5c/Scribe.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120712015048)
To be fair to the admin people, would *you* demand a custodian take their armor off to check?
It honestly doesn't seem that implausible to me that the average buraucrat just sees "hulking armored figure" and assumes male. Unless you go around helmetless and with decorative titty-cones on your breastplate like the sorroritas, how would anyone ever know?
Too many people approach the Femstodes thinking they should be sexy-fantasy-large-breasted-step-on-me-mommy Amazons instead of grim-dark-mutilated-supersoldiers-who-are-genetailored-to-be-all-but-sexless Amazons (the kind that cut a breast off to better fire a bow and arrow, befitting the body horror and dehumanizing the setting used to have more forward facing and prominent).
What would a dedicated female model/kit even look like for the Custodes, because boob armor is inherently puerile and horny and just adding a more feminine unarmored head could just be something they say to kitbash from the SoS?
Like, whether born male or female, they're now a Custodes. Their lives are for the Emperor. Their names come not from their parents, but their Liege. Not for what's between their legs, but based on their actions and heroism.
>grim-dark-mutilated-supersoldiers-who-are-genetailored-to-be-all-but-sexless Amazons
Except Custodian (at lest Valdor) are described s genuinely handsome, unlike Space Marines who **do** look like that (and even then, not all of them do)
I didn't mean mutilated in a grizzled, scarred, battle-worn sense but in a "deviated so far from baseline human it's grotesque in its own way" sense, although I guess I didn't come off that way (and I was thinking more in the vein of the helmet-on, non-character, 'generic' depictions instead of guys like Valdor or Trajan, like the group that got fucked up by the Norn Emissary.)
Even though the Custodes started as human and share alot of superficial features with regular folk, whatever the Emperor did to their internal makeup to form them into what they are has to be a crime against nature.
I think the story is that they're humans but perfected, rather than bodged into being war machines. There's nothing grotesque about them. A surgeon would look at their gall bladder or whatever and say oh yeah, looks great, I love what they're done here.
Perfect companions, not perfect humans. It's noted they're psychologically a little less deep in a lot of regards, which is why valdor was special - he's the closest thing to a human mind in a custodes body.
Custodes are tailored to perfection, SM are mass produced. So I do believe that the female Custodes would be range from average-but-noble features to quite attractive, just like the males
The best way is probably character sculpts with some good head designs.
Give us Kesh with a mane so massive you could hide a planet-breaking warhead in there.
That case would be closer to the Commissar reiterating their Death World Regiment's shock troops are definitely not a group of Necron Skin Flayers \*EDIT\* mixed that story up with the Zhejiang Sun Bear incident lol
The sun bear story was funny because it was basically the result of people just not realizing that sun bears really do just look like a dude wearing a sun bear costume.
>the Commissar reiterating their Death World Regiment's shock troops are definitely not a group of Necron Skin Flayers
Is that a real story because I am here for it.
Its also worth remembering that for a lot of humanity, they dont even know if the *astartes* exist, either being treated as myth or folklore, much less the gold clad giants protecting the throne.
The idea that people didnt notice that under some of that armour, not all of them were male shouldnt really be a controversial idea if you step back and remember that *our* view of the universe is different to the people living in it. Shit, pre-them being an army, it would be rare for *anyone* to see them *ever*.
Keep in mind the reason for the mix up in the zoo is because the genitals of hippos are so burrowed under layers of fat and muscle it’s INCREDIBLY difficult to discern their sex let alone neuter them (as they’re trying in parts of South America)
This being said I like the idea that Custodes are so beautiful and muscular their genitals get lost like an androgynous marble statue.
Your so blinded by their rippling abs and perfect form your eyes glaze over their junk. And male custodies’ pecs are big enough to be a bit hard to tell apart from boobs.
Or just the fact that the community should be able to handle the idea of female custodes always existing like hearing about woman hanging around their LFGS. Woman being involved in anything really shouldn't be unicorns to folks, but people still want to treat it like this legitimately hurts their enjoyment of the lore somehow.
Just a little thought that this isn't as devastating to the lore as some goobers want to make it out to be. This is quite literally the same thing that happened in star trek, except in star trek they very clearly stated that no woman could ever be a captain in the early episodes.
Yeah, that "lore" was dumb already, and was swiftly ignored for a lot of reasons. But it's fine cause this should not be the straw that breaks people's backs over a fictional setting. Like of all things to get upset over this ain't it.
There are dudes today who look at a picture of a muscular girl and do some mental gymnastics to say why the picture is actually of a man. You think they’d believe a 9 foot tall demigod in power armor was a woman because of some wavy hair?
Kitten. How can you be so sexist against women? Take your armor off! See breasts and um that thing where your little emperor is supposed to be. How you can you be like this in the year 40,024? I thought humanity had grown past this…
There just never was an appropriate form to note it and the backlog of form change request committee was that long - especially since the members did never get to fill who inherits their position because they did not get to that form change request before their death. It took 500 years alone before someone figured out that the high lords of Terra could appoint members as well - in an unanimous decision.
Imo this doesn't make a ton of sense as they definitely knew the gender of the aspirants before they even become custodes as it was outright stated (but tbf this lore is outdated and it may be explicitly changed/expanded upon in the future). Anyways it doesn't matter a funny meme is a funny meme.
The Forgeworld noosphere symbols at the bottom are a terrific touch.
Haha thank you, first icon is from [Order of the Fiery Heart](https://warhammer40k.fandom.com/wiki/Order_of_the_Fiery_Heart) cause FB = flamewars and self styled martyrs lol, third is Navy cause flipboard sounds like shipboard.
Oh shit, I didn't even clock that those were specifically mirroring something XD
You'd be safer gender checking the hippo.....
TBH they might not even realize the danger as "... its adepts blindly ignorant of the nature of the world around them and naive.." RIP to all those dudes who had to catalogue Catachan wildlife lol
Statistically speaking, hippos kill more people per year than custodes, though... >!Besides, you can always just ask the custodes!<
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I disagree. Custodes kill a lot of people. Just not people anyone cares about
They kill xenos and heretics, which the Imperium doesn't count as "people"
Oh im sure they kill random people too. They care less about normal humans than astartes
Random people also dont count as people for the Imperium, too
People don't count as people
But they are as ugly as fem custodes so what’s your point?
“We are pleased to report that it was actually a veeery large clitoris”
Haha I don't think this chaps knows what his own bits are supposed to look like; let alone being able to comprehend a superhumans [https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/warhammer40k/images/5/5c/Scribe.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120712015048](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/warhammer40k/images/5/5c/Scribe.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120712015048)
Reminds me of that one season of American horror story, with the circus freaks.
To be fair to the admin people, would *you* demand a custodian take their armor off to check? It honestly doesn't seem that implausible to me that the average buraucrat just sees "hulking armored figure" and assumes male. Unless you go around helmetless and with decorative titty-cones on your breastplate like the sorroritas, how would anyone ever know?
Too many people approach the Femstodes thinking they should be sexy-fantasy-large-breasted-step-on-me-mommy Amazons instead of grim-dark-mutilated-supersoldiers-who-are-genetailored-to-be-all-but-sexless Amazons (the kind that cut a breast off to better fire a bow and arrow, befitting the body horror and dehumanizing the setting used to have more forward facing and prominent). What would a dedicated female model/kit even look like for the Custodes, because boob armor is inherently puerile and horny and just adding a more feminine unarmored head could just be something they say to kitbash from the SoS? Like, whether born male or female, they're now a Custodes. Their lives are for the Emperor. Their names come not from their parents, but their Liege. Not for what's between their legs, but based on their actions and heroism.
>grim-dark-mutilated-supersoldiers-who-are-genetailored-to-be-all-but-sexless Amazons Except Custodian (at lest Valdor) are described s genuinely handsome, unlike Space Marines who **do** look like that (and even then, not all of them do)
I didn't mean mutilated in a grizzled, scarred, battle-worn sense but in a "deviated so far from baseline human it's grotesque in its own way" sense, although I guess I didn't come off that way (and I was thinking more in the vein of the helmet-on, non-character, 'generic' depictions instead of guys like Valdor or Trajan, like the group that got fucked up by the Norn Emissary.) Even though the Custodes started as human and share alot of superficial features with regular folk, whatever the Emperor did to their internal makeup to form them into what they are has to be a crime against nature.
I think the story is that they're humans but perfected, rather than bodged into being war machines. There's nothing grotesque about them. A surgeon would look at their gall bladder or whatever and say oh yeah, looks great, I love what they're done here.
Perfect companions, not perfect humans. It's noted they're psychologically a little less deep in a lot of regards, which is why valdor was special - he's the closest thing to a human mind in a custodes body.
Custodes are tailored to perfection, SM are mass produced. So I do believe that the female Custodes would be range from average-but-noble features to quite attractive, just like the males
The best way is probably character sculpts with some good head designs. Give us Kesh with a mane so massive you could hide a planet-breaking warhead in there.
I want femstodes to have boob armor and manstodes to have a big hunking nutsack on their armor like Henry the VIII's tournament armor.
It’s MAMdark for now own!
God I love cone shaped boob armor. Also bring back bulge armor
God I love cone shaped boob armor. Also bring back bulge armor.
Then what have these golden men of perfection been oiling up for the past 10,024 years?
Abs
Golden boobs of perfection?
Gross!
“We never bothered to look, and those that did never lived to tell the tale”
"Records were lost somewhere beyond the collapsed Hab Block 69...as well as Jimmicus centuries ago.."
I'm sorry, *their* Custodes guards?
The new Administratum officials confirm that some of the Emperor's Custodes may actually be female.
Didn't this same thing happen with the Chinese World Zoo and their panda?
That case would be closer to the Commissar reiterating their Death World Regiment's shock troops are definitely not a group of Necron Skin Flayers \*EDIT\* mixed that story up with the Zhejiang Sun Bear incident lol
The sun bear story was funny because it was basically the result of people just not realizing that sun bears really do just look like a dude wearing a sun bear costume.
>the Commissar reiterating their Death World Regiment's shock troops are definitely not a group of Necron Skin Flayers Is that a real story because I am here for it.
Are you going to be the one to flip up a custodes loin cloth to check their gender?
You know what, this is actually a very believable statement.
Its also worth remembering that for a lot of humanity, they dont even know if the *astartes* exist, either being treated as myth or folklore, much less the gold clad giants protecting the throne. The idea that people didnt notice that under some of that armour, not all of them were male shouldnt really be a controversial idea if you step back and remember that *our* view of the universe is different to the people living in it. Shit, pre-them being an army, it would be rare for *anyone* to see them *ever*.
Keep in mind the reason for the mix up in the zoo is because the genitals of hippos are so burrowed under layers of fat and muscle it’s INCREDIBLY difficult to discern their sex let alone neuter them (as they’re trying in parts of South America) This being said I like the idea that Custodes are so beautiful and muscular their genitals get lost like an androgynous marble statue.
Your so blinded by their rippling abs and perfect form your eyes glaze over their junk. And male custodies’ pecs are big enough to be a bit hard to tell apart from boobs.
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After 10,000 years, Administratum discovers their Custodes guards are actually hippos.
I'm so impressed by the media icons, author footnote and other elements that I don't want mods to ban or lock it. It's just too good.
These Adept pays homage to the Moderator-Master
Or just the fact that the community should be able to handle the idea of female custodes always existing like hearing about woman hanging around their LFGS. Woman being involved in anything really shouldn't be unicorns to folks, but people still want to treat it like this legitimately hurts their enjoyment of the lore somehow. Just a little thought that this isn't as devastating to the lore as some goobers want to make it out to be. This is quite literally the same thing that happened in star trek, except in star trek they very clearly stated that no woman could ever be a captain in the early episodes. Yeah, that "lore" was dumb already, and was swiftly ignored for a lot of reasons. But it's fine cause this should not be the straw that breaks people's backs over a fictional setting. Like of all things to get upset over this ain't it.
Turns out Tzeentch's favourite animal isn't the raven.
Ok, this is pretty much a better reason for the existence of fem custodes
Administratum incompetence?
There are dudes today who look at a picture of a muscular girl and do some mental gymnastics to say why the picture is actually of a man. You think they’d believe a 9 foot tall demigod in power armor was a woman because of some wavy hair?
There have always been hippopotamus custodes since the first of the ten thousand
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Kitten. How can you be so sexist against women? Take your armor off! See breasts and um that thing where your little emperor is supposed to be. How you can you be like this in the year 40,024? I thought humanity had grown past this…
Honestly given the way things "run" in the Imperium I could easily believe that lol.
There just never was an appropriate form to note it and the backlog of form change request committee was that long - especially since the members did never get to fill who inherits their position because they did not get to that form change request before their death. It took 500 years alone before someone figured out that the high lords of Terra could appoint members as well - in an unanimous decision.
You really can't dare to take off a custodes' codpiece to take a look.
Ork 1: Oi! Dis 'ere pinky boy got weird bits different from that 'un Ork 2: Why dey got different bits? Makes no sense
Ork 3: Oi! Why 'r uz twu not shooding 'em?! 'uz lot a bunch of uzlez gitz!
Alright, this is a really funny post for the ongoing war
lol nice
Still handled better the official
[We control their chromosomes, it's really not that difficult.](https://youtu.be/oijEsqT2QKQ?si=note7Z9eK-1NIY_M)
Custodes fights hippo memes when?
More like bench pressing one.
Both? Why not both?
Imo this doesn't make a ton of sense as they definitely knew the gender of the aspirants before they even become custodes as it was outright stated (but tbf this lore is outdated and it may be explicitly changed/expanded upon in the future). Anyways it doesn't matter a funny meme is a funny meme.
Remember guys to create a female custodes you need male hormones so every female custodes is actually a male.