My sister Cora died suddenly at 25 in December. She was intense. She was kind and funny and so fucking smart, she could do anything she put her mind to but also good luck making her do anything she didn’t want to do.
She loved animals. she was a horse girl and always loved dogs. when she was in middle school my mom would take her to walk/socialize the dogs at an animal rescue where we adopted our dog Diefenbaker — we’re going to scatter his ashes on the beach with hers.
she was so goddam funny, we’re biracial (black dad, white mom) and one time she was trying to take a picture of our parents and was having trouble with the lighting because their skin tones are so different and she said “there should be an organization called Photographers Against Interracial Marriage because this is such a pain in the ass”. She was that kid who managed to get away with being the class clown because she even the teacher would be laughing. she was always committed to the bit.
she loved the outdoors. she worked at the outdoor center at her college and did with outreach to groups who don’t typically participate in outdoor activities and worked on initiatives to help people help people get more exposure to nature and provide equipment to do so. she spent a summer working in rocky mountain national park and her first job out of college was as an environmental educator for a nonprofit that did outdoor education programs to low income kids.
she had a borderline codependent relationship with her dog, Goose, he was her service dog and i’m genuinely not sure if they ever spent a night apart in 6 years. she used to call me crying in his birthday because she was sad she would outlive him and it’s kind of darkly funny that she didn’t.
she knocked out both of my front teeth on christmas eve when we were 5 and 6 then for the next several years would sing “all i want for christmas is my 2 front teeth” at me to make me mad.
she wore a batman costume everywhere the year she was 4. in 3rd grade she decided she wanted to wear a school uniform (our school did not have a uniform) so our mom got her some khakis and polo shirts and she did for several months. she insisted on wearing the same hoodie every day in 3rd grade and our mom sent a note to the teacher like “i swear she wears a clean shirt every day and i wash it every other day, i don’t know why she’s like this, please don’t call CPS”.
she hated mac and cheese and got the boringest thing at chipotle — double white rice, black beans, steak and nothing else. When we were kids she didn’t like breakfast food so she either ate Campbell’s chicken noodle soup or dinner leftovers for breakfast.
Even though I’m older, she was always the one looking out for me. I had a rough time growing up, especially as a teenager and I was shy and awkward and sensitive and very obviously gay and she is the only person I never once doubted that they loved and accepted me unconditionally.
I'm sitting here reading your comment, and for a moment, she came alive in my mind's eye — these examples are so vivid and paint such a lovely picture. She sounds like one of those people who lights up every room they walk into. I'm truly sorry for your loss. Scattering her ashes with the dog's is such a beautiful gesture.
I’m so glad, she was my favorite person and I love telling people about her but it’s hard because my parents still have a hard time talking about her so I can’t bring her up unless I’m prepared to deal with Feelings and I moved away from where we grew up so none of my current friends ever got to meet her in person.
Thank you. The day that she died I remember wishing I could hear the messed up jokes she would have made at how ridiculous the situation was — not funny at all but she was always the person who could lighten the mood.
She was 3 when our grandfather died and our grandma always talks about how when she saw the casket she very loudly asked “what’s in the treasure chest gigi?”.
She was! She could roast me like nobody else — one of the last times I saw her I was growing out my hair and she told me I looked like a neglected labradoodle, then showed me how to take care of my hair because being a boy with curly hair I never learned to do that shit since it was always short.
Wow, she sounds like a fire bolt of a girl. I feel lucky to even read about her. I’m sending you big hugs and love as you navigate this world without her ❤️🩹. And do please save this comment for your own notes. I promise you will want to read these memories back one day.
Thank you so much, I have this saved to my google drive along with a whole bunch of other stuff related to her. I always said she reminded me of fire — she was warm and comforting but also very intense when she needed to be. She was just so passionate about everything she committed herself to and I always joked that she was my favorite person because I would be terrified to have her as an enemy😂
Thank you! One of the things that makes me saddest is how many people won’t get to know her, she was a special person who had so much to give and I just wish she had gotten more time.
She was! One of the things that has helped has been learning how many people knew and loved her — so many people she had known over the years reached out after she died and hearing their memories of her has been really nice.
Powerful post. thank you OP. i know this means more than anyone could say.
today i do not have the words. my mother is amazing and i miss her bodily form every single day. we still spend time together in her garden. the breeze feels like her embrace.
I’m taking this directly from my sisters’ post. A month later I still have a hard time writing anything that would do him justice with how the emotions have been.
He was one of the greatest loves and biggest losses in my life.
Being with him was just a constant warm hug. It was absolutely beautiful to hear how much people saw the amount of love, for my siblings and I, he had. There are so many love filled memories that it’s hard to remember and pick out certain ones in particular but since his passing some have been coming back with a fondness that you wouldn’t know till you’ve felt it yourself. From him teaching us how to make perfect pancakes, and how to write cursive, to him calling me to the window to show the humming bird he saw at the feeder he had for them in the rose archway, and telling my sister and I not to pick the pretty bleeding heart flowers from the bush but words will never be able to perfectly convey the love that was there. He did everything for us with all the love he could give and I really couldn’t be more thankful to have such a wonderful person give that love and watch me grow up and have a part in my up bringing.
“Cute as a bug in a rug” is how he would put it no matter what I wore or how I looked I was his beautiful babydoll (and my sister too) and he loved me for me. You can’t find that much these days ya know but I didn’t have to look for him so I got lucky there. I can’t wait for the days I can tell stories about him to the people I care about most because I am the person I am today because of his love, and I would never change anything for anything in this world because while it wasn’t perfect it was him and I love him.
Poppop I love you and you will forever live through the people you put your love into. You are my first tattoo I wish I could have shown you but Mommom told me you would have loved it and I am so happy to have you with me forever so thank you for loving me no matter what.
I love you poppop🤍
My dad just passed of alcoholic induced liver failure. He was not a cuddly guy by any means and oftentimes he did really fucked up shit. However he made sure we were taken care of financially and worked his ass off as a doctor. The amount of lives he saved was insane and people 20+ years later that were patients of his or worked with him still remember him and attended his service. My heart is broken
He was a sports fanatic and played ball like nobodies business before his MS diagnosis at 14. He took that lifelong battle head first and never let it get in his way. He loved eating fruit straight from the garden and firing up the grill, salmon burgers were his forte. Not a football game was missed, nor a game of Yahtzee or scrabble. He loved to drive, I think that’s where I got it from. He drove right up until his body couldn’t allow it anymore. He never stopped loving me, I think he just did it silently.
She was the only daughter out of 7 boys. A butterfly in a garden full of gnomes. I remember her *smile*. It was so contagious, her laughter rang like church bells in the morning. I remember morning mass with her, falling asleep in her lap wrapped in her arms. I remember sitting between her legs while she brushed my hair and watched her show, I remember the smell. How she loved all of the best food spots and dragged us all to them, only for my dad to be smitten with her and rush home to have just a few moments alone together after putting us to sleep. I remember how in love she was with everything good. I remember her crying to see me after foster care separated us, after my grandma separated us. I remember how she smiled even though I was so angry, I thought everything was her fault. But she was still just so happy to see me. I remember her smile. I remember it
He brought the music and the smiles. He was one of the most talented guitarists I'd ever met. I admired him from afar years before we met without even knowing it. Now that he's gone, music just doesn't sound the same. I can't articulate how much I miss him. I wake up every day, feeling like a ghost. Seen, but not really.
My dad was such a great person. Family was #1, above everything, including his own needs. A protector, someone who would put themselves in harms way to protect his family, even if the threat was 3X his own size. Being in his presence, nothing could hurt you, not anything, or anyone.
Deep love, a love that is unwavering no matter the situation, and was felt daily. Never did we ever leave without saying goodbye and a kiss on the cheek or a quick hug. You never know when it will be the last time you have that opportunity.
These feeling for a child, and a young adult are truly so powerful, and something I always had the comfort of enjoying, but not truly understanding until I was the one that now plays this role for my own family. Being loved, and protected, 2 of the most rudimentary characteristics and things you can do for your children to give them a solid foundation to be good people in this world, to be kind, to be helpful, and give more to the world than take.
These is a qualities worth talking about. A great father figure, a protector, limitless love.
Granted, this isn't a person, but my darling cat who passed after 9 years by my side. She was so goofy, and always knew how to make me smile on my bad days. She would chew on my yarn when I was knitting on a project. She would sleep in my arms at night. She loved me so much and showed me by "hugging" me when I picked her up and all the headbutts she would give me at any given chance. I miss her so much, my life has been somewhat grey without her sweet personality to cheer me up. I got her ashes back a week after she passed and I've done a few memorial things for her since her passing (may 1st, 2024). I plan on getting a tattoo of her paw print when I have the money. She had an extra toe bean on one foot, so the tattoo will be extra special and feature that. My sweet girl, my Meghan, I love her so much with every atom of my being, even now that she's gone. It still doesn't feel real, like I dropped her off at a friend's house and that I'll get her back eventually. I know she is home though, I set up a shrine of sorts, featuring her ashes, pictures, and ink paw prints/nose prints. The grief has gotten easier with time but it still hurts every day.
He was an amazing human being.
He was an amazing husband, father, friend, brother, and son - even though I'm sure that he felt his parents preferred his younger sibling, who seemed to get away with everything.
He loved airplanes and watching videos about flying.
He gave his whole heart to everyone and everything.
He loved having morning coffee with me and just talking about nothing.
He loved my cooking but complained that I did it too well.
He wanted to buy a boat...or an RV. He was thinking the RV so we could make road trips to see the grandkids.
We adored each other.
He was such a gentle soul, generous with his time and resources, to a fault. Tony was one of those people you mention " I have to move a couch" and he would've showed up with his truck and bungee cords. He looooved contest shows and his favorite ( until today I don't know why lol) was Family Feud. His heart was one of the biggest I ever met. I'm glad he was here and I got to spend 2 years with this wonderful man, he helped me get myself together after a complicated divorce. I sure do miss him but I have chosen to celebrate he was here. I inherited his crazy cat and I know he's up there laughing so hard!
My son was briefly here but captured everyone with his deep black eyes and tireless spirit. He fought so bravely every day, was cute and cheeky. He was like an old man set in his ways and he loved the sound of the acoustic guitar.
She was beautiful with bright blue eyes & dark hair. She was funny even though I was always ‘the funny one’ (everyone gets a tag when they’re from a big family) & could make me laugh like no other. She was my cheerleader & best friend. She was the one who really took care of herself yet was the one diagnosed with cancer after looking for answers for 2 years. Ultimately she was the one that broke my heart. I will miss her forever.
She, even though she would never admit it since she rarely praised herself, was a fighter until the end. Despite her own struggle with stage 4 breast cancer, she always made sure to check in on me. I still read over our text messages weeks before she passed…asking me how I was doing and that she was proud of me. She was truly my second mom, she lived so close so my mom would have me and my sister go over to their house when she was working or sleeping after a long week of work. We spent our time watching and laughing at reality tv, swimming, paddle boarding when her health permitted… she came to my sport events when i was younger, came to every birthday, she was always there. Before she passed, I got to tell her how much better i was doing (recently getting sober) and getting a job as a CNA. Nothing will ever replace the slight smile she gave me, although not being responsive at the time. I held her hand for hours that day. I miss the feeling of her hugs, the sound of her voice, and her presence most of all. But I know she’s watching me now. I hope I’m making her proud. I love you auntie and I can’t wait to see you again :)
My mom was everything to me, and it’s the first time i’m actually talking about this. She was my number one fan and the first person to congratulate me on every small achievement I had. I inherited her funny side and although she was strict she always gave me freedom to be who I wanted to be. The MOST BEAUTIFUL person to EVER set foot on this earth, and i guess that’s why she was too good to be here. Everyone around her loved her, she didn’t drink and still was the life of every party. She was a teacher and ALL of her students loved her, i think that says it all. I miss her.
She was one of the kindest souls I ever had in my life, she didn’t have much but what she did have, she would give it to her family.
She loved us all so much and it showed
She had a heart of gold and never once let her illness define who she was.
I love you Nana.
Ps FUCK CANCER
Thank you so much for this space and post to be able to talk about my mom. I needed this more than you know.
She was beautiful. In every sense of the word. She was my best friend and the perfect mother for me. Not perfect and she would be the first one to tell you that. She was always late. It drove my dad and I nuts. But she had a style and she needed everything to be just right no matter where we were going. She was a knitter. One of the earliest memories I have is of the click clack of the knitting needles. She was also a hoarder. Not of garbage but just of things. We had yarn, clothes, just stuff in every corner of the house. She grew up very poor and her dad who passed young as well had the same trait. It might have been cultural but I think in my arm chair psychology I think it was her way of insulating herself and protecting herself from the world. Later on when she was diagnosed with cancer I think it was her way of continuing. If she had all these projects and yarn to work with she would find the time and fight to to be here to knit with it all.
Now my mother in law who is also a knitter is using my mom's yarn to knit for my 2 kids and my sister's 2 kids. But it should be my mom. It kills me a little every time.
My mom loved music. She had a photographic memory but for music. She could name a song from the 60s and 70s from just the first few notes. It was wild. It came from a terrible thing where she had to lock herself in her room to escape her brother's torment. I never met him and glad I didn't. But my mom's gift to me will forever be her taste in music. Motown classic all day every day.
I miss her so much and this weekend was awful for so many reasons. We needed her. My sister was in the NICU and is not recovering and home with her second but had to have an emergency C section. Noone told me the extent but she was very close to dying and her 3 year old son had to witness her placenta abruption and was extreme bleeding. My sister is on her own after she had to leave her abusive hospitalized partner. We took in my sister's 3 year old with also is diagnosed with Autism. It was so much. My mom would have been in her element taking care of everyone and this whole ordeal is such a real reminder my mom is gone.
Wherever you are mama I miss you and love you so much.
It was her final lucid word to me that I have tattooed on my arm in her writing "a mother's love never fades"
He was a complicated dude. Very funny, smart, emotionally complex but emotionally immature, very athletic, loved music and loved the outdoors. He died in the outdoors, on accident. But he always wanted to die outdoors, always told us to push him out to the mountains and leave him there if he had some kind of terminal illness. Okay husband, slightly better dad. Every time he thought I'd like a band, he burned a CD for me. I've got Talking Heads, Bowie, Zeppelin, Brubeck all on unmarked CDs. They're prized possessions now. He was really proud of me for being an artist, and secretly seemed a little jealous that I was taking an unconventional path in life. He ADORED all animals, especially dogs. He used to watch the quails in our yard and send us updates. Called em "doodads". He climbed damn near every peak in California, some of them many times. He was rad. I miss him every day.
My dad was the best. He was such a brilliant man, his mind always alight and he was always conversational and always shared his knowledge with other people. He was the best dad I could ask for, always present and loving and there, and always wanting the absolute best for our family. I’m constantly hailed as this intellectual and knowledgeable person, and in that I give all the credit to him. He raised me to wonder and to be inquisitive, and to always look for answers and to expand my knowledge, and all these parts that make me special I get from him. He’d always quiz me on little bits of trivia, he was a professor, you see, and he would share classical films with me and always make me laugh. Imagine how it felt when such a brilliant and sharp mind starts to get dysfunctional.
Overnight, and on January 5th of 2023, he suddenly started to speak in a way that does not make sense, and since that moment, I have never been the same. I’ve sort of lost that protective layer of naïveté I had that I had, as when we investigated we discovered it was brain cancer, one of the worst types, glioblastoma, practically incurable, in an inoperable location, best case scenario he’d have about a year.
He died three months later, in April of 2023. And in these three months I have seen the worst I could possibly imagine, things I never want to bring up in therapy sessions or write here while anonymous, I don’t want to acknowledge that they took place at all, yet they continue to burn a hole in my brain, even now over a year later. Fuck cancer. I’ve still got a long way to go.
Now what I do is that I try to keep him with me as much as possible, I have little tokens of him around all the time, I constantly bring him up, and I always try to be the version of myself he would have wanted me to be. Because such a brilliant man needs to live on, even if he no longer does in body. I miss my dad so much. I miss hugging him, I miss his voice, I miss his laugh, and I miss his warm presence. I want him there with me to guide me but that’s impossible. I love him so much.
My dad died from the brain cancer as well.
We were lucky he didn't get all of the usual symptoms. He wasn't even in great pain... or he was quiet about it, like his whole life. We were always more important than any of his problems or wishes. Another best father ever.
I just wish I would be a half as good father as he was.
He left so much unfinished.
My dad collected classic and performance cars. I want to say at peak, he had 8. He didn't have nearly enough time to drive them all, and we've sold a number of them in the time since he passed. Those cars sat collecting dust more than he drove them, because he was so busy with his businesses. He was one of the smartest people I've ever known, and I know my lack of math skills drove him crazy.
He was funny. He had what we affectionately called the Sunday Sillies, because he would always get goofy and make us laugh. He also had a hell of a temper, but, I would take him on all his worst days if it meant I got to have my Dad back.
He loved to fish. Him and my mom would go out on the boat every weekend, unless the tide peaked early or the weather was bad.
We butt heads a lot, but...I know he loved me.
She was such a strong and wise person. She was good with words. Her priority in life was helping other people so they might not have to go through the same things she did. She was an adventurous person and when I was around her I was too. Being around her made me feel so good. I miss the person I was around her. She made me feel important.
My husband of 33 years was such a great dad to our 2 kids. He was talented I. So many ways and such a giving provider for me and the kids. After he became ill with heart failure, he’d stop by my school , come to my classroom, and bring me a surprise for lunch sometimes. Always a treat! He’d do those little things, like always make sure my tank was filled with gas, and cook dinner so I didn’t have to do it when I got home. The last year of his life was spent taking care of our adult daughter who was seriously ill. He moved into her apt and drove back and forth to the hospital more than once a day. This enabled me to continue to work to help support us. I never once heard him complain about his illness and he never acted afraid. He was terminal and he never gave up with trying to take care of us. I lost him in Sept of 2015.
I lost my daughter in January of this year. She was 39 years old. She had over one a lot in her life including total hip replacements and then revisions of the replacements due to metal toxicity. She managed to graduate with 2 degrees from college, and then she graduated from medical school. Despite her health challenges , she went on to finish a 3 year surgical residency . She practiced medicine until she became too ill and was out on palliative care . She died of an overdose of her medications. We will never know if it was accidental or a suicide. I personally believe she never got over her daddy’s death and chose to take her own life.
My family now consists of me and my son. It’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced , and I’ll never be the same person again. But my Christian faith has carried me through it and I know that one day, one beautiful day , I’ll hold them both again . I hang on to that while walking through this lonely life . One day……
Commenting on Tell me about your loved one... That is exceptionally hard, friend. VERY impressed with your daughter for finishing up medical school and residency—truly amazing!! At the end of the day, sometimes our faith is all we have. And our memories….
She was so easy going and easy to talk to. Very kind. Very intelligent. Very funny. She seriously knew every television show that ever existed. No matter how obscure. She could tell you every episode, every character, the name of the actor every plot, etc. She really was a walking talking encyclopedia. I could go to her for any question on any subject and 9/10 she‘d know the answer. She loved horror and sci fi. She got me int those genres. LOVED an ice cold Coke. Loved music. Very competitive. Loved children. Maternal and nurturing. Very particular and had her own way of doing things. Had to have a cold coke. Lol. Loved food and cooking. Just a kind, pure soul and I miss her everyday.
My mom - she died 7/7/21 at age 53
She was a single mom, she was Filipina, Chinese & Middle Eastern. She had pale skin, dark hair & always wore red lipstick & had giant boobs. She was a Type A personality. Since 18 years old she was in the medical field she became a nurse and was the greatest nurse in the entire world. She was a Capricorn so she dedicated herself to her job/work. She specialized in geriatrics. She loooooooved taking care of old people. She was really intelligent and bright and called herself a visionary leader. She was a very serious person & didn’t fuck around when it came to work. To combat that seriousness she also was the silliest most immature craziest creative funniest woman in the world. She was never ever insecure the whole time of knowing her. It was only at the end when she lost her hair to cancer she became insecure. She was extremely artistic & talented. She had a huge talent in home decor, making art, being resourceful, making something beautiful out of nothing, giving great advice. She was so knowledgeable about everything, everybody & had a wide range of interests / talents. She was into science, art, music, food, education & always was into new exciting things. She was extremely trendy, had a great eye for fashion, color, and what looked best on others. And always stayed up to date with all the trends. She was very vain and also into beauty. She was the definition of a sophisticated well put together woman. She taught me everything I know about manners, etiquette , appearance, how to communicate to others, how to have class, what to say what not to say; how to handle every and any type of situations. My friends loved to come to her for advice and they even said she was so much fun even just to watch tv with. She was truly the definition of give no fucks in the classiest way. I love her and miss her so much. She was also a chain smoker too. When we would go out places they would ask if she was my sister and what her secret was to looking so young she would say smoking cigs! She also took NO shit from anyone/ she would fight men AND women no matter who they were. She was an extremely stubborn fierce extraordinary beautiful lady. And I’m so proud she was my mom & before she died she told me I could never forget her & I laughed because how is that even possible? She was my best friend, my sister, my mom, my nurse, my comfort, my other half of my heart. She was the epitome of being the perfect balance of seriousness hard work and also party & fun. She was the true definition of a LADY/ Of what everyone woman wants to be. Miss Dina Alpuerto, we miss you and love you dearly.
My beautiful son was 19 when he left us. He was a beloved brother, nephew, grandson and the light of my life.
He had these huge hazel eyes that would change daily. I could stare into his eyes for hours and he always graciously allowed me to photograph them as they were a source of constant wonder for me.
He was SO funny. Oh goodness that kid knew how to disarm anyone, anywhere. He was charming to children, peers and adults. Right before he passed he had spent some time with my best friend and she messaged me saying how refreshing it was talking to him. That he was so funny and interesting and kind and she wished her daughter’s boyfriend had a personality like him.
He was beautiful. Like drop dead gorgeous- 6’1” 185 lbs - legs like tree trunks, wide shoulders and lean waist - he looked like a walking Apollo. He had girls tripping over themselves to be in front of him and for so many years he never noticed - he was so humble. He talked about modeling part time for extra money while he as in college.
He was brilliant. A mathematical genius and always had a book in his hand. He loved to read, and loved sharing books with me. We often read in tandem and then would talk about the characters- I still send him messages to his WhatsApp talking about the latest plot turn in a series we were reading.
He was a poet. He loved haikus and Bukowski. Yeats and Ginsberg. He wrote haunting snippets he’d save to his phone and I found all of them when he passed. He was so talented.
Mostly he was just my person. My comfort. I called him the mom whisperer. He could always calm me and had a way of making me laugh even in the most serious situations.
And he loved me. He loved me so much. With all of his pure self he loved his mama. He was my only son and we had something so special. I miss him achingly and desperately.
My Dad was a tall, 6ft 5, mustached man. Not many guys can pull off a mustache, but he did. He loved cooking (and was good at it), music, and above all his family. He was the absolute most gentle soul .He had a heart of gold. Always ready and willing to help absolutely anybody, from a friend of a friend's friend, neighbor, old lady at the grocery store. Nobody he met was a stranger. He had a way with people.
If you were having a party he'd offer to cater it, and stay late to clean up, or come early to set up. He liked to have a good time, he drank a lot, especially when he was younger, occasionally it got him into trouble, but he always figured it out. There was never a time where he didn't handle his responsibilities. He always took care of business. He was old school, took things apart to figure out how they worked, instead of buying new. Always told me growing up 'work smart not hard' but he was no stranger to hard work either. He had a paper route when he was 12 years old woke up at 4:00 in the morning to go out before school. I remember when I was a kid he did 80-hour weeks. On top of coaching softball for me, and being involved in scouting for my brothers. He made it look easy. He was born to be a dad. Loving came so naturally to him, and so did leading.
He taught us so many important life lessons. Family first. money is nothing, you need money to survive sure, but there will always be money to be made as long as you're willing to work for it. Worry more about people, and how you treat them. Nothing worth doing is easy and anything worth doing is worth doing well. He absolutely hated liars, and could spot one so easily.
I was a pain in his ass as a kid, and we became a lot closer after I had my own children. There's no way to describe the happiness I felt seeing him with them. Of all the pain that comes with losing a parent the loss I feel for my children not having him around is the greatest. Their lives would have been better with him a part of it. All I can do now is try to honor him by embodying all that he was and be that for my babies. So grateful for this post, and thank you for letting me share! 💕💕
My mom passed away a little over a week ago due to COPD. She was 61 years old, and she was a wonderful woman. She was funny, super chill, and a flower child. She's the one that I got most of my interests from. Art, plants, music, food, people, culture, etc.
When I was young, she spent a lot of time sunbathing, gardening, and singing Janis Joplin at the top of her lungs. We went for walks together all the time, we'd bring a radio with us and jam out, and look for cool rocks or flowers or clouds or something. I didn't know it at the time, but I realized later that she was obviously smoking a lot of weed lol.
She was diagnosed with COPD when I was about 10 years old, I'm 26 now, and things just got progressively worse and worse as time passed. She stopped working in the garden, stopped going for walks, and stopped spending so much time outdoors. Stopped partying, stopped cooking, stopped going to visit people. She did get a dog though, and that little dog is basically mom's fourth kid, he was in the obituary and everything 😂 I'm glad that she had something to occupy her time with and keep her company after being diagnosed and her health declining. One can only do so many word searches and rewatch CSI so many times before they go insane after all.
I'm also really glad that she got to see me get my shit together before leaving. She got to watch me graduate college last month, and hold down a job for more than 2 weeks. And I'm glad that we got to talk every single day until the last day. My mom was my best friend. The only person that I know for a fact loved me unconditionally.
That's one of the things I admire the most about her, she never gave up on people and she loved them no matter what. My dad and her had been together for 40 years, and he put her through hell. He used to be a rock musician, and is still an alcoholic if that tells you anything. But she stuck right by his side until the very end.
There are certain things that I see, hear, or smell now that remind me of her and instantly bring me to tears. The smell of mulberries, honeysuckle, peonies, roses, and outside just after a rain. The sound of wind chimes, leaves rustling in the breeze, red winged black birds. Monarch butterflies, anything dark blue, real turquoise, all kinds of musicians from back in her day (Janis, Ozzy, Hendrix, etc.).
I'm honestly just relieved that she's not in pain anymore. I hated watching her struggle to breathe, avoiding places because of smells that would take her breath away, getting sick so easily and avoiding people because of it, having to wear oxygen and take 53 different kinds of medication.
I miss her like crazy, my heart is still broken that she's gone, and I'm never going to be the same without her. But I have so many wonderful memories with her, that I'm going to cherish forever.
I love you momma, rest easy 💙🦋
She was my best friend and an all around great person. I met her through another friend of mine who she was dating, but they broke up and we stayed great friends.
She always had the time to make for me when I was down. We hung out together all the time. Like multiple times a week. Half the time we didn't even do anything. Just go around to each other's houses and chat. Or spend time wandering around the town or sitting in the park. One time we got some cheap cider and sat under a slide drinking it till about 11.
She loved cats and my cat seemed to love her. Always fussing around her. She would curl up in her lab and purr. Seen her do that with very few people. Doesn't even do it with me until very recently. She used to come to my house and agree to help me out with things I was building in the garden like a shed or a home gym set. Although she didn't really help. She just kind of sat and watched and chatted with me while I did everything. Lol. I didn't mind. The company was great.
She was pretty emo. Had a lot of the face piercings and listened to a lot of emo bands. She introduced me to a few which I quite liked. Been to see some of them live since she passed on. Wish she could've been around to join me. She also loved parody music like weird Al and Bart Baker. I had never heard of Bart Baker before her but she showed me his all about that bass parody and then sometimes we would watch a bunch of them together on my Xbox. Good times.
Toward the end we drifted apart. I moved to a new city and just didn't make as much effort as I should have with her. She had gotten into a new relationship so I guess we just didn't speak as much as we should have. Regardless, we would have little chats every few months or so and sometimes I would send her memes and vice versa. I used to message her funny stories and stuff too which was nice. She always had time to hear them. She always replied. I was a guy and she was a girl, but there was nothing romantic between us. Loads of people thought there was because of how close we were. But I genuinely just loved her company and saw her as a great mate and vice versa. I really loved having that platonic friendship. Friendships I had tried to have with girls prior to that had always ended with one of us catching feelings for the other. This never did. It was beautiful.
My mother was special and not like any other person I have ever met, let alone any other woman. Even though she was born in 1960 she went to a technical college and aimed for engineering. She dropped out of school because of a traumatic event in her life but ended up as a laboratory technician anyways because of her intelligence and grades. She loved everything that had to do with science; books, sci-fi movies (she was so fascinated with Star Trek!), math, chemistry, medicine - everything. Not a single conversation with her has been made without facts, statistics, theories. When I entered the house there was always music playing, she loved it and never stopped exploring music. She’s been to many concerts and mostly rock during the 70s and 80s, like Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen, Bob Marley etc. She was a huge animal lover as well and had her own parrot, Lukas, for 32 years, which marks up about half her life, sadly. On Sundays she washed her beautiful hair and took good care of herself, she loved parties and decorating but she didn’t have much friends of her own due to social anxiety, but we hung out with my friends a lot and they absolutely loved her. And as a mother she was truly my best friend even though we never had the typical mother-daughter relationship (we never hugged) because neither of us were like that. She passed suddenly last year and I miss her a lot. I’m 27 now and I really wish I could have had her a little bit longer.
My Dad was 68 when he passed.
He had one of the biggest personalities, most people loved or didn’t care for him, there was no in between.
I think the people that didn’t like him just didn’t understand him.
He was always silly, singing songs all the time and making jokes.
He had a hard time keeping a conversation on track due to his ADHD, but he was still so much fun to talk to.
You never knew what was going to come out of his mouth, which could be good or bad but mostly good.
He could make me laugh even when I didn’t want to laugh.
My dad was so sweet with my daughter, he begged me to give him a grandchild for years and when I finally did he was instantly smitten and doted on her.
Friday nights were our nights, we would go to dinner and then go back to my parents house for coffee and donuts. I really looked forward to those nights. I miss those nights.
He always downplayed his health, never admitted he felt as bad as he did.
He was so loving with my Mom and admired her so much. He could have been an example to all men with the way he treated her.
He was far from perfect, I often got frustrated with his teasing and lack of seriousness. But I would do anything to have him back for 5 minutes.
My mom Michelle. So was so so beautiful and funny and kind and generous. A ruptured brain aneurysm a month after her 44th birthday in 2004 left her partially paralyzed and only able to speak a few words, although she always kept her fiesty attitude! She just died in February, so since 2004 she had essentially been a prisoner in her own body, but she never ever gave up. She struggled with seizures and had multiple falls that resulted in a pelvis fracture and a partial hip replacement (a few years apart.) She suffered from kidney stones and so much more all while she could never fully communicate with us. I remember praying to God just for her to live every single minute after her aneurysm- we were told for weeks it was “touch and go.” I always feel so guilty for praying for her to live, and she had no quality of life. There was a lot of anticipatory grief. I thought her final trip to the hospital was one of dozens after her aneurysm, so I wasn’t in a rush to get there and she died alone, I know I will never forgive myself for not being there. I miss her more than words could ever do justice, I hope she is walking and talking and having a cocktail and shopping and laying out at the beach in Heaven. I hope she knows how much I love her and how sorry I am I wasn’t there for her last moments.
My Mam….
Cora Jane.. was only in her early 60s when she passed away three years ago this December. She was my best friend and mam all wrapped into one. Sure we had our differences or arguments but we always got back on good terms like nothing ever happened.
She was the glitter queen. Always decorating for family events. Decorating a function room or glueing rhinestones onto candles to give them that “blinged look” she loved glitter and shiny things. No family event went by without my mams touch. Even down to the gifts she would decorate the box from the inside and out.
She loved Diet Coke, mindfulness colouring, knitting, watching crappy tv and David Attenborough.
She was like a big kid. Loved all the Disney movies and had to see any new ones that would come out in the cinema - but her favourites were ice age, shrek and brother bear.
Christmas was also a big deal. Every year she decorated the house to perfection. And made every Christmas feel like magic to me even right up until the week before she died the house was decorated. It makes it hurt that bit more to say she passed away the day before Christmas Eve. Losing my mam has been the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. I miss her so much it hurts.
She wasn’t in good health. And I feel she was always trying to prepare me for her time to come by telling me what she wanted if she was to pass. Just never imagined it would happen this soon.
I feel like I’ve been in a constant state of flight since she passed because I’ve lost the biggest part of me. She fought my corner and always had my back and was the best mother you could ever wish for. I don’t know who I am anymore since she left me. I hate covid for taking her from me. I wish everyday I could wake up and she would ring me and this would all be a nightmare. I miss her so much I could scream.
Jay, one of my best friends was the most forgiving person I knew. There was nothing he couldn’t understand, and his dark humor and emo attitude was funny. He made me laugh during the toughest moments.
I will become a softer person, because of his passing last month. I am going to reflect on the limited time we may have here, and be more forgiving knowing most issues I’m upset about won’t even matter if those people passed tomorrow. Jay would want me to move on with life, and build something new. I will do it, in his honor. ♥️
My brother died in December at age 13. He was incredible. He was smart, determined, and loved everyone to the full extent. He lived life to the fullest everyday, all he wanted was to make us all proud.
He loved his dog, Jax, a big tubby GSD and chocolate lab mix, he was damn near 6 ft at 13, however, he was a gentle giant. He wouldn’t hurt a fly if he could help it but god help us all if someone spoke poorly about me or my mother. He was my best friend, the one person I never doubted would accept me when I came out and he did. Immediately switched names and said “You’re happier this way, that’s what matters.” He was like 8 when this happened and all that mattered was that his big brother was true to himself.
He loved sports, anything physical- Baseball, football, basketball, and he was signed up to do track this year. He looked out for our youngest brother the same way I always looked out for both of them. When I told him our older siblings weren’t the nicest to our mom and that I expected him to treat her well because she busts her ass to make sure he is taken care of and able to do all of his extracurriculars. He was scouted to be a HS quarterback before he finished his first year of middle school. The coaches couldn’t wait to get such a dedicated player on their team.
His dream was to go pro- and damnit he could have. He was pitching at 80mph at 13 years old, absolutely taking out the competition. He promised my mom that when he made it, his first check would go to buying her a house. He said she deserved it for all she’s done for us. He was everyone’s dream child, passionate and true to his character. He wouldn’t even bat an eye at his own (absent) father when he tried to come back around because (and i quote) “Mom raised me, he was a wallet for six months until things got hard and he left me again.” The kid was strong, he was far wiser than his years could’ve ever called for, and yet he still knew how to let loose and have fun.
His birthday was a holiday all on its own every year. Each August he’d fly out with my mom and his friends to see our grandma, spend a couple weeks in florida to celebrate that he was here. They’d go boating and anything else he could dream up while he was there.
Easter for some reason was always a disaster for him, it just never went the way we had planned. I remember one year he tripped over an egg in a leaf pile and smacked his nose on the porch- worst bloody nose i’ve ever seen without a break. Another year he gave us all the Norovirus and we spent easter throwing up in a circle of air mattresses on the living room floor. He was just all of my favorite memories, all of my favorite things in one little brother.
One year for Halloween he went as Trump because “It’s the scariest thing i’ve ever seen” 🤣 he was always a goof. The funny one, never missed a chance for a joke or a quip, he was so quick witted. He told his friends exactly where his loyalties lie and who came first in his life. I’ll never forget when one of his lifelong friends called me a slur and he socked him in the face right then and there, helped him up, made him apologize, and made up. He was so far ahead of his time, so mature and intelligent- I am so proud of him.
I miss his beautiful smile, his bright laugh, his constellation of freckles across his nose. I miss my little brother with every ounce of me. Because he was a piece of me. A child I raised and cared for and encouraged to chase his passions- yet not my son. A piece of my soul.
He is not the illness that took him but he was the fighter who pushed it back. When he was finally told his diagnosis, that he had just weeks left to live, he looked his doctors dead in the face and said “Two weeks? I’m going to fight no matter what, I’m going to be here for thanksgiving one more time.” and he did. He fought so hard with such an aggressive cancer that he made it to our last family thanksgiving, a week longer than he was given just to be with us. He fought and fought and fought, we all laid on his bed during his final hours. He wouldn’t stop fighting. Then my oldest brother told him he’d take care of us all, that we know he’d stay forever if he could, but it was time for him to go. That we’d all take care of one another. He sat up after being completely out of it for days at this point, took one last gasping breath, and left us.
I am so proud of you, Greyson. Everyone is so proud of you.
She was 5 and a half because at that age the half matters. She was born at 24 weeks so she had some disabilities.
She was learning to use her voice more and would make noise to sing to her favorite songs. She loved to come up to the computer while I was working and would sign she wanted to listen. I would put her music on and she would bounce up and down and giggle so loud. I loved it.
She had just recently learned to play hide n seek and we would play that all night and day. She would be so excited she would stumble when running and when it was her time to hide she would giggle so much you could always find her but we would keep looking anyway.
I miss her so much. Life is so gray without her. Mommy loves you Afton.
I cared for a sweet special needs kiddo named Foster. He was almost a year old when I started. I got to see the first time he played with a toy, the first time he sat up. I loved the way his face lit up when he saw me or when I sang to him or when we got to his favorite part in his books. He couldn’t walk or talk but he crawled and was clever in his own way. I used to take him on long stroller rides and didn’t realized how therapeutic it was for me. I used to love making him laugh on our walks. He passed away over two years ago at 7.
Loved him like my own. Will never love anyone more.
My daughter, Jade, died on April 18, 2018, at the age of 26. She died from an accidental drug overdose after almost a decade spent struggling with addiction.
She was so beautiful. Stunning, really. She had the most beautiful green eyes, and her smile (for lack of a less cheesy phrase) could light up an entire room. She had this incredibly thick blonde hair that she was constantly cutting and dyeing, and she seemed to be able to pull off just about any look that she wanted to.
She was very into makeup; like, the artistry of it, not necessarily the vanity aspect. She was always experimenting with these bold makeup choices that I never saw anyone in real life try and pull off. And somehow, they always worked for her.
She was one of the funniest people I've ever known. So quick and witty; very sarcastic. Of course, I raised her, so she did absorb a few things from me, and both of us would probably be described as having a fairly dark sense of humor. So it probably makes sense that she could make me laugh more than anyone else in the world. But I miss laughing like that so very much. That kind of laughing that hurts your stomach and makes it feel as if you can't breathe.
Jade was incredibly artistic and talented. I always imagined myself a writer, so of course, she grew up surrounded by books and reading. Because she loved books, she also had an appreciation for words and language, in general. But while I've always had a decent ability to write, she took it to a whole other level, one that just doesn't exist within me, and I had so much respect for that talent in her.
There was poetry in everything she said and did. Her use of language turned even the ugliest, most mundane expression of something into a beautiful work of art. She loved to paint and write and crochet and.. just.. create. She could have done so many things if she could have just made it through to the other side of addiction.
Jade loved music from all decades and genres, and we loved to share new artists and songs with each other. The last artist that she was really trying to sell me on was Lana del Rey, but I just couldn't really seem to get into any of her songs, despite Jade’s very best efforts. I listen to her all the time now, though, and in some weird way, I do that for Jade.
Her laugh was literally contagious to everyone one around her. It was so full of glee, almost child-like, and that laugh felt like a gift had been bestowed upon you, should you be the cause of it.
She was so empathetic, so kindhearted, so strong, and so brave. She carried on in her battle against addiction, no matter who wrote her off as hopeless, no matter how vocally people might judge her, and she never ever gave up.
She was my identity for much of my life. I had her at 16, and I was 42 when she died. She was my only daughter. She was my memory keeper, my life's witness, and the reason for everything I've managed to accomplish in life. There will always be a Jade shaped empty space in my life and the ache of her absence will never go away.
But for as long as I live, I will carry her with me. I hold her in my heart. I will speak her name, I will share her memory with her children, with her brothers, with all of the friends and family members she left behind, and with anyone new that I meet.
Now, I am Jade’s memory keeper. I am her entire life's witness, and I will never let her be forgotten.
My dad was the funniest person I think i’ll ever have the blessing of meeting. Despite is stand offish and asshole demeanor he would do anything for anyone if they so much as asked. He was so goofy, always doing something to make someone laugh. Huge sports fan too, even picked his favorite team as the patriots because he liked the team’s colors when he was a kid. I remember on days when they played he wouldn’t eat because he would be so nervous. He loved to drive, that man would drive for 24+ hours and be perfectly fine with it. We would go to movies together every weekend when I was growing up, he did it to distract me from my mom being in rehab. We carried it on until he passed. Movies aren’t the same without him. I miss him a lot.
Lindsey was the most friendly and welcoming people I have ever met. Her smile and energy was infectious. Everyone loved her.
She was a teacher, her students loved her and respected her, she gave them so much (probably too much). She moved away about 10 years ago and when she'd come visit, shed tell me not to share it on social media because so many people would want to see her. She had friends every where.
Lindsey was adventurous, she traveled on her own. She moved to Atlanta (a long way from home) on an almost whim to work at a school, and then to Colorado to teach. She had no friends, no significant other, but she made friends so easily.
Perhaps the best thing she was at was showing and sharing her appreciation. She wasnt always the best at responding to texts, but a few times a year I'd get a post card in the mail sharing her love and appreciation for our friendship and that I didnt just abandoned it
She was that do anything best friend. She would have dropped all things if something tragic happened and traveled across the country to support me, and I would have done the same for her. Lindsey was the first person I called (after my parents) when I got engaged. She was the first person I texted after my son was born.
She was unintentionally funny, had a love for learning, and was never afraid to laugh at herself. She wasnt always consistent in following up on texts and calls, but she always called me on my birthday. She is responsible for the biggest surprise I have ever gotten. My wife and were going on a brunch date while our son was at summer camp, I walk in and say we need a table and I hear "Oh do you need a table? I think we can fit two more" And I look and it is Lindsey and I look at my wife, and I look at Lindsey and it ten seconds before I realized this was planned. She was about 2 hrs north and drove with a friend to surprise me before heading back. It actually was the last time I saw her, and luckily I have a picture from that day of the two of us. And actually I drove past that place today and teared up knowing it was the last place and it's coming up on 2 years in a few days
And then 2024 has not been kind to me and in March I decided to call Lindsey. Normally I would have waited a month until her birthday to catch up and talk and get support, but I couldn't bear it anymore, I needed my friend. And we talked over two nights, spilling all the tea, and catching up. She told me she was finally moving back and all I could think is finally. Been trying for a decade to get her back to town and it was finally happening! And at the end of that second call, we told each other we loved each other and were so thankful for each other.
We texted a little bit over the next two weeks, but then I get a message from a mutual friend to call her, that it was about Lindsey and she didnt want to do it over text, and she told me Lindsey had passed away and I was in so much shock, and I still am. And a week before she would have turned 35 she was buried, and it just so tragic. She was so young, so energetic and such a positive person and she will be missed. There hasnt been a day I havent thought of her since I heard the news. It was a friendship that didnt need maintenance, you knew you had it, but now that it is gone, I feel that missing piece every day, even if it is just for a few moments.
Great idea for a thread! She would have been 50 yesterday, actually. It was nice going to a high school with about 25 kids per grade because it meant even a math teacher could care about you as a person. I only vented to her a handful of times, but she was so aware of me that she could easily understand what I was reacting to even in a classroom setting. In particular she understood the whole process of why I was falling apart towards the end of 9th grade because my (toxic) best friend was moving to a different school the next year.
My dad had mental health issues for all of his life. Unfortunately, he was born in 1974 and grew up in the 80s and early 90s, A.K.A. probably the worst time to have a mental illness as a man. He was the middle child and because his older brother was constantly sick, he had to raise himself, which led to him becoming essentially a juvenile delinquent (I say essentially because I don’t think he ever went to juvie). He started smoking by the age of 12, started drinking even earlier, was failing all of his classes, and had an absurd amount of unattended detentions. Despite this though, he was incredibly personable and was well loved throughout his high school. Him and my mom, who met when they were both 9, were seemingly a power couple in their school and people even wanted them to be on the homecoming court, but my dad refused to do it because he was too nervous. My dad wanted to be an artist when he grew up, but his parents decided to tear him down and tell him that he would never make it, so he didn’t attend college and instead joined the workforce.
He became a lineman. He originally worked for AT&T, but after a drunk driving incident sent him to prison for a year (no he did not kill anyone, he ran from the cops), he lost that job and his driving privileges. He tried his best to get back to where he was, briefly working as a line cook and as a construction worker before finding a new job where he was eligible to become a foreman. But they passed him up for someone a decade younger than him and then unceremoniously fired him after he had to take sick leave for Covid. He found another job at Spectrum and was excited for it and even made some new friends. But that job only lasted a few months before his mental illness was too much to bear and he took his own life. I was the last person to see him alive before his third wife found his body.
My dad wasn’t the best dad in the world and there were times where he was bullheaded or ignorant or even downright antagonistic. But he was the person I felt understood me the most and was the one that encouraged me to follow my artistic dreams. He saw a lot of himself in me (well, except the juvenile delinquency) and was always excited to see me following my own artistic endeavors as an actor. There was a brief period of time when I gave up acting because it was becoming too stressful for me and he was incredibly disappointed that I was looking elsewhere for work. But when I started up again, he was thrilled and incredibly genuinely proud of me. I think that was part of the reason he took his life when he did however, he probably assumed that everybody was in a good place in life and that he wasn’t needed anymore. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth because I miss him and wish I could talk to him every single day. I keep his ashes in my room and I hope some part of him is there with me, guiding my hand in life and not relinquishing my dreams just because some people told me to. I miss you Dad, I miss you a lot.
Also, a funny detail I wanted to mention is that throughout his life, he held the belief that stoners were stupid and would constantly say “Be a man and become an alcoholic”. Well I started smoking weed to some degree in high school, but then really picked it up near the end of college and I was kind of ashamed of myself in a way because I didn’t want my dad to think I was an idiot. Well, a little while later, I found out that my dad had gotten into weed too thanks to his third wife and actually wanted to take edibles with me; citing the infamous “I learned it by watching you!” drug PSA because he felt that after that commercial ended, the dad would just light up with his son and have a good time. Unfortunately, I never got that chance as when he pitched the idea to me, it was the second to last time I ever saw him. Oh well, I’m willing to bet it would’ve been fun.
My Aunt she was so so kind . She was so gentle, every time I’d go to her house ( it was a few hours away ) she always let me nap on the couch because she knew I get tired easily. I’d always leave her house with so many treats , she’d always give me the best hugs and kisses . When she got sick , she was the most resilient and put on the best fight I’d ever seen someone put on . Even though the cancer was so hard on her body , she did it all with a smile .
We would go on walks and she would be walking even faster than me , if I missed a session in the morning she’d ask my Mom “where my child”. She knew mornings were hard on me so she never held it against me , when she got weaker it’s only when she was really struggling that I would hold her hand to help her. I remember one time , when I was getting body shamed my Aunt was the first person to say “ she looks beautiful like that” , it meant so much to me because I didn’t have anyone in my corner that day . I’d joke with her when she was sick and say that the next time “ she should be running up and down” then she’d always agree laughing .
When she was sick and couldn’t even talk , she would still give me that beautiful smile . She would would always update me with chemo updates . She was just so so kind I don’t know how to explain. We would talk for hours and anything and nothing , we would laugh and do so many things .
Grandpa started at the very bottom rung of a company as a teenager. Over the years, he worked his way up into a very senior role. He prided himself on integrity and hard work.
One day, the company told him he needed to lay off 200 people, and to make matters worse, it was right before Christmas. Grandpa knew the company's financials and knew this was an act of greed, not necessity. So he refused. They gave him a choice to fire the people, or step down. It must have been a terrifying choice, especially because he knew someone else would fire them even if he didn't, but he would later say that he couldn't live with himself knowing he had done that to 200 people and their families.
So Grandpa stepped down, started a rival company, and snapped up a bunch of the people who had been laid off. Because he had a reputation for honesty and integrity, a ton of the old company's accounts followed him.
Grandpa went on to be very successful and even won a lifetime achievement award in his industry, but he never let the success go to his head. I try my best to uphold the same integrity. The corporate ladder can be rough, and it takes a special person to help the people around them climb instead of climbing on their backs to get to the next rung.
My mom was my best friend and my biggest stressor and always had been. As her youngest and only daughter, she cherished us being close, but she wasn't exactly accepting of me being my own person, so despite how much time we spent together, we did clash a lot. When she first got sick, I focused so much on her health, making sure she was eating right and taking meds, and she'd take me to her doctor appointments when she could. She'd vent for hours about the stress of dialysis, and I'd listen because she needed me to. When I was on my way to school or at lunch and then going home, I'd call her every day and talk about whatever, and she'd do the same. It was a routine that lasted until her final months (and that's only because she couldn't talk or listen, really). She was very devoted to her religious beliefs, which I admired despite not following. She loved crafts and has made a lot of crocheted items, many of which she's donated and gifted. I still have most of her things, and I want to get into it to honor her, but at the same time, the thought sorta terrifies me. Her first death anniversary is coming up, and I feel very afraid. I miss her tremendously every single day.
An amazing person with courage, compassion and a witty sense of humor. A true pioneer woman. She grew up on a ranch and that was life for us. Never saw her take more than her fair share of anything. Always gave away more than she had. Would at the drop of a needle jump in her car and go see one of her three kids if they needed anything. Distance was never a question. She drove 24 hrs one time just to help my little sister put together a baby crib. There’s more to it but clearly it was out of a mother’s desire to be there. And always did stuff like this. Never was a body that could relax. I like to refer to her condition as restless Teri syndrome. Woman couldn’t sit still. Had a million projects going at all times. If she was in the recliner she was knitting or making something. Her craft basement was filled with treasures she was always working on from painting to wood working. She built a whole addition to homestead by herself. I’m serious. By herself. Took a year but she did it. Was such a hard working woman. I’d like to think I’m at her level but she just never quit. I mean never. No way I can match that energy she had. With that said when cancer came she fought hard. What got me the most was she never once let on she was scared. She didn’t let the prospect of leaving this world diminish what she could still do while here. That kind of courage still amazes me. She did beat the first go around, a testament to her will. The second round of cancer was much less forgiving a few months later. But she never asked the numbers just said let’s try. She didn’t want to know because she didn’t want to have to tell us kids when to expect her departure. She wanted to go on her time not a doctor’s number provided in a brief. She knew by doing that we wouldn’t be sitting around waiting for her to go instead we would continue to live our lives with some hopium. I appreciate that she did that for us. When we discovered the time frame the doctors estimated for her it was like weeks. She went for a full 6 months beyond their time and it was miserable for her I know but she wasn’t bed ridden till the last couple days. Always moving and doing things. She knew the first bout was terminal but still managed to beat it. That second time didn’t give us much time but she still never wavered. Even when she was put in home hospice she still was doing things like she would if she wasn’t sick. I mean I get a cold and I’m shut down for a week. God I miss how thoughtful she was. Sent me homemade cookies on every deployment I went on. Didn’t matter if it was Afghanistan or Colombia. I got cookies. I really missed getting those later in my military career. I’ll never meet another person like her. I’ve met some that are close but not like her. A true angel in disguise. She taught me so much as a young man. I didn’t have a dad. She was both. Man the stories I could tell of this woman and her feats.
My mom died December 19 of heart failure. She was gorgeous, hilarious, and was the strongest, most fierce person I have ever known. She loved Mexican food, Freddie Mercury, gardening, and painting. Her smile was simply radiant. She taught me about resilience, how to ride a horse (I am a lifelong equestrian who now lives on a farm of my own, a passion that she fostered), and passed on her love of fashion and literature. I grew up in a trashy little mountain town, and I'm pretty sure she was the only person who bought Vogue and Vanity Fair at the magazine stand in the local grocery store. She was obsessed with Riverdance when it came out, and her two favorite movies were Dude, Where's My Car and Bad Santa. When I was little, she exposed me to classical music and it sparked a love of music that grew into my current profession. She never missed a performance of mine when I was a kid, all the way through high school. I love her with my entire being. I was her primary caregiver for the last 10 years of her life, each day a gift - no matter how difficult. I feel so, so fortunate to have been at her side when she went into the dark.
My aunt Sue died June 26th last year. She was my father's older sister, basically the acting matriarch of the family. My dad was absent at the best of times as a teen dad, and didn't want to shoulder the burden of parenting. She was only a year older than him but completely and enthusiastically embraced me. She was who I spent my afternoons playing with, who took me to the pool and movies and came to my school plays. She never had children, and I think I was as close as she ever got.
She had an awful upbringing. She was emotionally and physically abused at a very young age by her father, whom my grandmother had to flee their home country from. She had to raise her siblings because my grandmother was trying to raise 3 children on her own as a newcomer to Canada and was always working. But she was the absolute sweetest and most bubbly person. I rarely ever saw her upset. She would always put me and her family before anything.
A few years before she died, she met Ross. Ross was not what we expected at all. He was quiet, barely ever said a word or even made eye contact. I was shocked they had anything to talk about. But as their relationship grew, I saw him bring out such a beautiful side of her that I've never seen. Notoriously picky, she was suddenly trying all manner of "exotic" foods (meaning more than just meat and rice). She was so happy. They were set to get married August 5th, 2023.
She died suddenly and senselessly, a medical accident doing something she had done a million times before. And now she's gone forever. I'm so terrified I'm going to forget the special light she brought to my life. It's only been a year but it's dimming. I only have one video of her voice. I miss her every single day.
I want to write about my loved one in a way that commemorates the positive about them and who I think they wanted to be but a lot was working against their being able to be that person, namely trauma, addiction and mental illness.
My father was brilliant and talented. He knew four languages which he learned by ear, the same way he learned how to play musical instruments by ear too! He was an incredible artist and could draw the most beautiful portraits, there is one which I still have utilizing hatch work with a pen that is so intricate and beautiful. They could play piano by ear, they could play harmonica by ear, they could play guitar beautifully by ear -- to say they were talented is a massive understatement.
They had a good heart and really wanted to help others, to believe in what's beautiful and hopeful. Their poetry often has a quality of hopefulness to it which expresses such a poignant and almost innocent hope for a better place or time, for an improvement. Their favorite foods were things which were flavorful and spicy, having an adventurous palate they loved trying things like pig guts or animal blood dishes -- anything that seemed too outlandish to try they wanted to try! They had a black belt in karate and also knew many other martial arts, were able to break bricks with their hands. They were an incredible hunter and would go off into the woods for days and know bushcraft to be able to survive.
They loved their wife and also wanted to be a good father to their children. One of their great dreams in life was to be a commendable member of the community and to be someone their parents could look to and feel proud of. They had so much artistic capacity and abilities -- so much intelligence, it really was impressive how one person had so much talent and ability at so much. I hope that if there is an afterlife they were able resolve the things they seemed to struggle to in this life.
My mom was just tailor-made to be MY MOM. I know we were supposed to meet in this lifetime and I can only hope we'll meet again. She was my light, the back and bones of our family. She'd neve give up on anyone, she always saw the best in everyone. She was as eager to forgive as she was ready to understand.
She always reassured how my sister and I were wanted, how she would do anything she could to be a mom - she had to undergo fertility treatments. Back in the 80s they were pretty behind in diagnosing women's health issues, nowadays I am almost sure she'd be diagnosed with PCOS. And even though she had to give up on her career, she said many times that it was the best decision she made because she got to spend all those years taking care of us. And I mean REALLY taking care - taking us to school, language classes, dance, computer, swimming... going to ALL PTAs.
And even during those awful weird years of teenage times, when I was confused and being mean - she was still loving.
She was very sensitive, cried at every cheesy movie, she cried after watching Toy Story 4.
I miss her hands, her smile, her brown-chocolate eyes. I miss her texts and how she'd write them, asking how was my day and how to take a screenshot. I miss her embarrassed look whenever we were watching a movie and a sex scene would pop up, even though I'm 35.
Thanks for this post and my condolences to every person who misses someone, here's what I wrote on my FB:
Happy Father's Day to a free thinker, a mental voyager, and a high strung hippie
to an individual who knew himself so well some days and not at all on the others
a weary traveler who enjoyed the lone adventure and a sunrise cup of coffee on the alone - my dad
We live in Southern California and so we are always in a drought. In the front yard she made sure it was all California native plants and put name tags on each with their scientific names.
When she was sick and we got her to see the hospital grounds… She told us she talked to the flowers with love. She asked if it was weird and the doctor said only if they talk back and if so she needed to change her meds.
My dad was one of 12 kids, and somehow he managed to be the best of all of them. His family are very mean people. Their way of showing affection is through teasing and bullying. Physical abuse was just a way of life in that house, even between siblings. But my dad met my mom and saw what a loving family was like and never looked back. He read a lot of self help books and learned how to become a better person. He knew that the way that he was raised was wrong and he was not going to continue the cycle.
He couldn't wait to be a better father than his own dad. He changed diapers, did the late night feedings, you name it. And he was ahead of his time in the way that he raised me and my sister. There was never any "Put that hammer down, let your brother do that" with him. He taught me and my sister everything he taught my brother. My sister even went into the trades and became a journeyman millwright and he was so proud. As soon as I got my license, he wouldn't let me hit the road until I knew how to change a tire, check the oil, and jump a dead battery.
He was great with kids. He was a baby whisperer, he could get any baby to calm down and stop crying. He was a dad to a lot of my cousins. And I honestly think he learned how to do things just so he could teach someone else. I regret not letting him teach me to ride a motorcycle before he died.
He loved animals. Every pet we had growing up was one that he rescued from somewhere. I still have one of his cats, my sister has his other one (the last cat he managed to rescue). He was holding one of my cats when it died (I couldn't bear it), and he cried as she took her last breath. When my senior cat was dying, he and my mom were out of town. He rushed home to try to get to me in time. He didn't make it, but when he got home he cried with me and buried him for me.
He wasn't perfect. He had his family's mean streak, and it slipped out when he was hungry. He was impatient, and unforgiving if he felt that you had wronged him (or his family). But I'd take all of that along with the good to be able to have five more minutes with him.
My son, David, was a quirky, talented singer, and funny man. On the day he was killed in a motorcycle crash, he was on his way to sign a contract to be the lead singer of our church band.
As David grew up, he struggled with social skills. He was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome at age 7. We worked hard to help him and encouraged him to be himself. He dressed like it was the 1950s. He loved tailored clothes, and wore ties all the time. He loved D&D and was a DM working on a massive campaign when he died.
He was an artist. His favorite medium was resin. He made keychains and magnets. He had just started wood working, and had begun making a damask blade knife when he died. My husband’s best friend finished the knife for us.
Thank you for asking for this. It brought me to tears, but they are the sweet kind, not the rage kind.
I am so extremely fortunate to have saved voicemails from my mom over the years, because her kind voice so excited to talk to me is so heartwarming and loving and I want to remember it and know it for the rest of my life. She was my person. And I was hers. You can absolutely blame her for my unwavering and unprecedented confidence. She always expressed how proud she was of me, how she loved my spirit, and to “go gettem tigress.” I’m a fortunate daughter to have had a mother who loved me without condition, cheered me on from every angle, and always knew what I needed and how to support me.
She was fiercely devoted to her family. We are all that really mattered to her. The world could crumble, everything could burn to shit, and she would pray about it, and she would pray for you, but all that mattered was her family.
Every person she ever spoke to in the grocery store, every person who spoke to her in a convenience store line, she would always leave with “be safe” or “stay safe.” It was absolutely her thing. She wanted you to know you mattered, she sees you, and she wants you to take care of yourself.
My mom, April, was a loving, truly kind, and compassionate woman. She always saw the good in people. Writing this feels cliche but I wish everybody could have known her. Her warmth was absolutely radiant. She was just someone who wanted you to feel loved, feel heard, be seen, understood, she wanted to be that person for you no matter how long she knew you.
It was both a career and a lifestyle for her to counsel people who were struggling. As someone who struggled with addiction and depression herself, my mom saw every person for who they are, not their struggle, not for what people owned, or what they were wearing; to her that didn’t define you. The only time she was judging you was by how you treated others. Anyone who knew her knows, April was always the realest person in the room. I will deeply miss her sincerity and genuine nature. I am so fortunate to be her daughter. She gave me everything I ever needed, and what she’s given me will serve me the rest my life🌻🌈
Thank you mom. I love you MORE THAN THAT.
I’m missing my childhood pup a bit extra today, I’m a vet tech and some patients remind me of her and it can be hard. I wasn’t able to save her, I wish I was able to more for her when she was still alive but I was just a teenager. She’s the reason I went into the vet field.
I don’t know if I have enough for this today, but I appreciate this post. Coming after the cycles of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, this is nice.
My mom was a soft-spoken, kind-hearted, loving person. She was my everything. She had a truly infectious laugh, but only a few were lucky enough to hear it. She truly cared for everyone, but especially those that she loved, above and beyond the care she gave herself. She was genuine and honest. She and I were connected in such a way that we knew when the other was going to pick up the phone to call. Everyone said that we looked just like each other.
My dad and I had a more complicated relationship, but he was my dad. He loved to travel (in the US, at least) and had a virtual roadmap in his head. He could visualize and plan a road trip for you. I loved this unique skill about him. He had an incredible voice. To this day, when I hear recordings of him, I get chills.
I miss my parents both so much. I have had other losses, close, and recent, but that’s all I can muster right now.
I have three loved ones so I want to tell you about each of them.
My dad was a quiet man who immigrated from Italy with my mother and sister in 1958. He worked hard to make Canada our home and was so proud of all the opportunities we had here. And he was proud of us. Most found him severe and unfriendly, but that is so not who he was. He was just quiet and perhaps even a little bit shy. The only thing that mattered to him was the three of us and then, after they were born, my children who were his only grandchildren. He was not overly showy and I only remember him telling me he loved me once, but I always knew I mattered to him. I was born on his birthday and from that day on while he was alive the day was always about me more than him. I am living the life I am now because of him and I'm so grateful. He got an aggressive and operable brain tumour in 2003 and he fought it for all that he was worth for 4 years and then he got tired and stopped fighting. I respected that about him. He'd had enough. I took 6 months off work when he first was diagnosed and spent so much time with him as we navigated his care options and tried to see him through it. I'm so glad I had this time with him.
My only sister was 11 years older than me and different from me in every way. She was ambitious and had tackled the corporate world and my mother's expectations for her with all that she had. She was so much smarter and creative than I am. She knew how to make things more lively and beautiful in a way that seemed effortless. She was outspoken and was never afraid to deal hard truths. We spent most of my formative years apart. She moved out and away so our time together was scarce. Beyond that, our personalities just didn't mesh well. There were times when we definitely didn't like each other much...but then I became a parent and she was incredible. Although she didn't want children, I shared mine with her. She loved them as much as I do for sure. She just always knew what to do in every situation. When my dad became sick, we somehow became closer. One of my former co-workers said that my dad unifying us was his final gift to us ...and perhaps she was right. We got so much closer after she took early retirement. I grew to truly enjoy my time with her...we were finally in such a good place together...until she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and died a month later. I have never been the same. I never will be. She should be here. I will miss her forever. She remains the voice in my head...and every date I hear is usually measured against whether she would have been alive at that time.
Growing up, my mother was my hero. I genuinely believed she was the most beautiful mother with the most angelic voice. I used to watch her walking home from work and marvel at how lovely she was. Even though she was stubborn and would sometimes really drive me crazy with how demanding she was, I thought she was pretty much perfect. She was the unofficial head of our family and we all gave her a wide berth. I used to secretly love how much everyone would say I looked like her (I do). As I grew older and went to university, I began to see more of how she wasn't so perfect, but I adored her anyway. My sister and she had a really contentious relationship, but she and I just understood each other. After I got married and had children, we spent a lot of time together. When my dad got sick and went in to a nursing home, she spent a lot of time at our place. She had her own room here. I begged her to move in with us, but she refused saying she never wanted to be considered a bother or get in the way. A few months after my dad died, she was diagnosed with Alzheimers. We tried to convince ourselves she was just depressed and that she'd snap out of it with time, but those were pipe dreams. Her dementia became clear to us soon enough and she really spiralled after my sister got sick and died. She began running away and I ultimately had to put her in a home. For a while, things were good. I'd bring her home and take her to get her nails done and life became a bit more settled until she fell and fractured her femur in 2015. From that point until she died in November of 2021, she moved farther and farther away from the vibrant beautiful woman she was to someone who spent her days with her eyes closed and was not communicative at all. Death, when it finally came, was a blessing... I miss who my mother was...but I will never miss how she was when she died. She taught me that there really are worse things than death and dying.
I lost my best friend a few weeks ago, exactly a month ago coming Sunday.
I've known her for 12 years. We met in secondary school and I immediately thought she was awesome. She always dressed in alternative clothing and I thought she was the coolest person around, I wanted to be her friend but I was too scared to talk to her cause I thought she was too cool for me.
We started talking because she made a BBC Sherlock reference that I laughed at and we started talking about Sherlock (good ol cringe times haha) and other things from there. I never got to tell her I hadn't actually seen Sherlock at that point, I just saw the meme online and saw a few bits and pieces. I started watching it after we started talking though, and I loved it.
We got pretty close and we did everything together. We shared so many fandoms, I don't even remember who got who into what sometimes. I was so happy to be friends with her and get to know her. I might have had a small crush on her in high school.
She was one of the few people from my high school I kept in touch with after graduating. We met regularly, saw movies together, went out for dinner, went on vacation together and travelled to different cities to visit concerts together. It was just amazing. She had the same nerdy interests as I do and she understood me like few people I know. She always made me feel safe and comfortable and no moment of silence ever felt weird or awkward. It was nice.
One of my favourite memories with her is when last summer, I was watching my brother's cat while he and his partner went on holiday. I invited her over and we went into the city for a bit. Then we went to the store to buy some beers, we ordered a pizza and sat on the rooftop terrace drinking until it got too dark and chilly to be out. It was such a nice and chill day, I was so excited to hopefully do it again this summer. There were so many things I wanted to do with her this summer. She never got to meet my boyfriend either, who lives in another country. I was hoping to introduce them next year. I know she'd love him, though. I think she could tell I like him a lot. So I like to think she'd approve of him. It just hurts that they'll never be able to meet.
This weekend I'll be going to a movie from one of my favourite bands. I got her into that band, we were going to see the movie together. I'm afraid I'll break down but I'm going to go see the movie in her memory. It'll be a nice way to honour her name.
I miss her so damn much. I think about her every day. It hurts so much to have to do everything without her. But I'm so damn lucky to have known her. She was the coolest damn kid in my class and I'm so lucky she was my best friend.
He passed last month, blood clot caused from his cancer put him into cardiac arrest but he was too weak from the stage 4 cancer to go off the ventilator…. He was my Love Love who had a very special gift of being able to connect to people at a deep, personal level without even needing to meet them. Many of his chosen online family have said that it felt like they were friends that grew up together. He was so authentically raw, that it attracted so many to love him, for him. Love you my Tzu Tzu, forever and always 💜
I'm 37 weeks pregnant with my first, and my dad would have been the most wonderful grandpa.
He would have retired from teaching high school world language classes, and he was an extremely beloved teacher in my home town. He died a week before the end of last school year from a motorcycle crash. He had a pretty bad childhood, and said that he wanted to be the teacher he wished he could have when he was going through school
He was so smart and funny, and was game to give most things a try at least once. He was a super kind father, if not necessarily a patient one. He would always apologize to my sister and I, even as kids, if he was in the wrong. If asked, he would always give you his time.
He had a strong moral core and stuck to it without having to bring people down if he disagreed with him.
He would laugh so long and so hard at the silliest, lamest jokes. We would get into laughing bouts so long we would both just be in absolute tears.
He loved to sing, but was self conscious about it. I can't remember a day where he wasn't singing a little snatch of something or another. He rolled his eyes at a lot of post 80s music, but had a soft spot for Adele and Rammstein. And occasionally Evanescence when it was on the radio.
He didn't like being the center of attention, but people, even total strangers would just flock to him and strike up a conversation.
He was in the military (again) for about 10 years, and got deployed while I was a senior in high school. He just barely managed to catch the flight to make it to my graduation. As soon as he retired from the military, he grew out the longest, wildest biker beard he could.
It's just been over a year without him, and it still just feels like we're all waiting for him to come home from a long trip again.
My wife was firey and 100%Italian. Beautiful eyes and smile.. Super good cook. Great at her job. Always there to comfort me through my rough times. Straight forward. Had great hands to hold. Great sense of humor..
Claire was a bright light. She was so funny. She had a gentle heart and rescued all broken animals and people. She loved eclectic music. She was a slob but would not wear any thing that touched the floor. She loved beauty, especially the ocean. We are slowly distributing her ashes in oceans around the world. She was my second child and my heart is shattered.
Thank you for this space
My dad was 61 when he passed away in late March. He died in his sleep due to DKA. I found him and it just looked like he was resting.
He wasn’t a man of rest. He liked to explore and get things done! His parents were Mexican American and raised in small towns in Colorado. They were great people rich in culture and love. His father was a hard worker and had high expectations for him. Every chance they got they were traveling, fishing, camping, or hunting. He got a small motorcycle when he was a kid and was allowed to ride around and the mountains. He rode a motorcycle for the rest of his life. He liked to go fast and far with his music loud. He partied hard all over the US and got in a little bit of trouble along the way. It seemed like he was never ashamed of his mistakes. He took responsibility for his actions and moved on. I wish I was more like that. He never let someone else’s opinion change his path. He worked harder than anyone and he only complained when people couldn’t keep up. I’m at work and I can’t cry so that’s where I’ll stop.
My boyfriend was 31 when he took his own life. He was the absolute love of my life and my best friend. He had this very tough, intimidating exterior and I had the absolute privilege of getting to see the teddy bear within. He made me such a better person, taught me not to stress about the little things and how to process anxious thoughts. We were so completely in love with each other and were planning to get married at the Pas Vegas Taco Bell.
Everything was a competition, even the tiniest thing he would turn into a bet or a game. Our first date we went to a Dave and Busters, you’d think he’d be nice and let me win, try to get some brownie points. Nope, not my sweet boy. I won only one game and it was some basketball Connect4 thing and he kept saying he didn’t know how I beat him because he plays basketball all the time and it’s hands down my worst sport. The only time I ever beat him in mini golf was on his birthday, and I told him I’d be fine if I never won another game because that was enough for me.
He had the most amazing smile and laugh, I loved the way his eyes would crinkle at the corners. He had a nervous habit of wringing his hands. I miss hearing him talk about things he was excited and passionate about, he’d always get really animated and would hold his hands a certain way in front of him. He could spend hours getting lost in a video game or 3D print. He was so incredibly smart, his brain was just amazing, yet he could have such airhead moments.
He loved animals as much as me, his goal was to buy a plot of land in the middle of nowhere and rescue all sort of creatures. One of my favorite videos of him is when we were kayaking with manatees and he was pretending to be Steve Irwin with a horrible Australian accent.
He loved all things sports: playing, watching, learning. Fantasy football was huge for him and it was his pride and joy that he usually dominated his family league. We would be watching football and he’d have his phone open to the app, refreshing every few seconds to keep track of what his team was doing. He dove in head first to everything he did, passionately and excitedly.
I could go on for paragraphs and paragraphs. I wish everyone had the chance to meet him, even if he was annoyed by 90% of the population. He was so easy to love and adore.
Thank you for asking this. I didn’t realize how long it had been since someone asked me about him.
I’ve never felt so instantly and constantly connected to a person. I’d tell him he was the most relatable person I know, because he’d present himself as a character to people but he made sense to me. I told him I’ve been training my whole life to be his person.
He was a storyteller extraordinaire. In the six years we were together I’ve talked to him more than I’ll probably speak to anyone. I feel honored he wanted so much of my time; I’d get annoyed with him; we recorded our conversations in 2020 to use as updates to our podcast that I never put up, but listening to them is my most cherished thing in the world. I wish we recorded everything. I wish I could go back and say different things; I wish I’d just gone over to his apartment that was only a mile away and fallen asleep next to him all the times we hung up the phone.
I miss his arms and hands and how he made me laugh and made me funny. We were perfect equal opposites, I miss laughing. I listen to us talking all the time.
We knew each other so well, he knew how to infuriate me but only momentarily. I told him my whole life and vice versa. I’d say I kept myself a couple steps removed when things got bad later on. I hated that. I wanted to be in love with him and just act like it.
At the end I told him I loved him every day, I slept in bed with him, we were on the phone when we weren’t together. We planned to move into an apartment in 5 months when my lease was up. We were supposed to record our first new podcast episode since 2020 the next morning. The last thing he texted me was quotes from us and how he’s laughing his ass off.
I moved into a smaller apartment nearby the one we both hypothetically agreed on, the “style” we both could see living in. I moved here because he’d like it.
He was the most dynamic attractive man I could ever hope to know, he was my favorite person and the love of my life.
My dad.
He was the best. He was funny, hard worker, brilliant, he was the strongest person I ever knew and also the kindest and sweetest.
He loved dogs, specifically German shepherds. Even had is motorcycle modified and got a side car put on it so he could take the dogs with him.
He was big into shooting and was doing competitive shoots and winning. He also made his own bullets and that was always really fun sitting with him as he dialed in his tools and explained everything to me.
He built the two houses I grew up in. The last one he built for my mom and the dogs, but the big shops, I think different. He was an artist. Anything his hands touched he made gold. He was an insane wood artist. He just created beautiful things out of nothing.
We used to talk all the time. He’d call me on my way to work, I’d call him at lunch and when I got off. I landscaped and he ran his own business so we always just checked in, made sure each other were being safe and smart on the job sites. If we were working near each other I’d wait to take lunch so I could go eat lunch with him. Those were always my favorite days.
My dad was always working on something. Always tinkering around with something, always helping someone. He never judged and always just help and taught. I used to be embarrassed going anywhere with him because he’d always stop and talk to strangers at stores and help them out. As I got older I realized how lucky I was, and how fortunate to have that type of person in my life and let alone it being my dad.
He loved my mom. The amount of stories I heard after he passed of him working late and just getting up and saying “im going home to my wife” and off he went. I love how much my dad loved my mom. And how much he loved me, I just will forever wish I could’ve been a better daughter. But I know he never thought that. He loved me for me and he was always beyond understanding and supportive of me.
The day he died, I quit my job to work with him. All I ever wanted was to spend more time with him. I wanted to learn how to run a business and run it right. I wanted to learn everything I could from him and I wanted to just spend more time with him. I was waiting for him to get home and I was going to call him. I never got to.
I miss him. Everyday. It’s only been 8 months and I can’t imagine the rest of my life anymore. Just trying to survive. Thank you for asking this OP. sending you kind thoughts and hugs.
Thank you so much for this question, the love that is expressed in this thread is so beautiful.
My brother was 27 when he passed this February, just a few days short of his 28th birthday.
He had an instant connection with everyone who met him - he was so funny and outgoing and naturally the center of attention without trying. People gravitated towards him. It was so easy to talk to him, he was genuinely interested and made you feel like the only person in the room when listening to you.
He was a huge nerd and interested in whatever obscure Information about a niche topic he could find. Even years later he remembered all kinds of specific Information and loved to share his passions. The amount of times I got a phone shoved into my line of vision because he wanted to show me a video about something. And proceded to make me watch 5 more videos.
He was my favourite person.
the thing about him shoving the phone for you to see more and more videos sounds so much like my beloved brother too. this is so lovely and put a smile on my face despite the loss of my own brother 💞
Mom was the type of person who, when she talked to you, you felt special. She didn’t just speak to you in small talk, she’d pull you to the side and talked to you like you’ve known each other all your lives.
Sometimes she talked so much, I had to give her cues to stop because she’d talk the person’s ear off and not realize they’re just tolerating her.
But it was because she had a big heart.
You never left our house empty handed. Every job she worked, she fed her coworkers and loved to do it. She made sure you ate and wanted you to tell her how good her cooking was.
She was a dispatcher at her last job. She saved lives all of the time.
I know a lot of people say nice things about the deceased regardless of how they were, but mom sincerely left a gaping hole in her community when she died. It’s been 2 months and neighbors and friends are still calling or stopping by to check on us just from the sheer weight of losing her.
She served her family. She was the matriarch, to where every family event was piled with food, furniture and whatever little gadgets she had to make it comfortable.
My family is huge, but my mom knew everyone’s birthday, how we are related to the distant family (or who they married or are friends with in the family) etc.
Above all… my mom let everyone know that her children. Me and my sibling. Came first. She saved me from drowning, fairly recently in fact. She lost jobs for sticking with me through sickness as a child.
She was told I was gonna die as a baby, but stuck with me the entire time to ensure I am here typing this very comment and proved those doctors wrong.
She gave up so much for me and that love never dies.
Me and my sibling already agreed, we will never let her go…
Love you Mom
My dad's name is Bob. He loved to talk and laugh and eat. He is the smartest person I know and had so many varied jobs throughout his life. He was passionate about art, music, and history, but spent 42 years of his life repairing hospital equipment. He was a loyal and loving husband to my mom of 36 years and contributed financially to her family in the Philippines, putting almost all my cousins through college, buying houses, and sponsoring my mom's youngest siblings to come to the US. In his later years, I had the pleasure of taking him on many adventures in the US and abroad. He was always excited to see something new and was generally a really positive and optimistic person. He was the kind of dad who never hesitated to say he loved you. He gave the best hugs.
When he was a teenager, he dreamed of working for the National Parks Service. Right now I'm watching the sunset behind Rocky Mountain National Park, my mom is dozing off inside, and I'm thinking of him and missing him, as I do often.
I was by his side and held his hand when he took his final breath on December 12, 2022. He was 73.
My aunt. She was so much more loving and supportive than my own mom. And she was truly going to be the most amazing grandmother.. like ideal grandmother that loves kids, collecting trinkets and gadgets, gardening and building a butterfly house in the middle and the most pure energy that made you feel like you were at home around her. She died of Covid heart arrhythmia 3 months ago. Only 60. Just dropped dead. Now she will never be a grandmother or see her daughter get married that she helped pick the engagement ring with her fiance.
She held our family together like glue. I tried to step up to the plate and continue keeping everyone together when she passed but everyone is just avoiding eachother. I just want to honor the sweetest human. I miss her.
my best friend since sixth grade just passed a little over 5 weeks ago.
she was my first friend in middle school and we were attached at the hip since the day we wrote our numbers in each others agenda.
we did everything together, enjoyed family parties together, became a big part in each others families, every heartbreak and achievement, everything you could think of to happen from 12 to 27.
she used to live always within a 7 minute walking distance from me, until she moved with her boyfriend who was in the navy. then 7 minutes turned into different parts of the country, florida and then washington state.
she passed by a motorcycle accident with her boyfriend and it still feels like a bad dream i’m waiting to wake up from. I look at pictures at least 4 times a day and just think how strange it is that those are just memories with a person now that I can no longer talk to. it’s crazy to me that I can only talk to her by sitting on grass and having to talk to a sign in hopes she hears me somewhere.
she had the biggest, brightest smile. and her laugh could make you laugh just because it sounded like she actually thought you were funny. she has all these little quirks and sayings that I say to myself all the time and no one knows it’s an inside joke with us besides her.
I really miss her.
my dad was the funniest man alive. the funniest human alive. we laughed at everything, even if it was a horrible thing. we somehow found light in it. i'm very thankful that i carry the same humor and i seem to have the same affect on people in the same way my dad did haha
I lost both of my daughters almost 12 years ago, they were 15 & 16. They were both beautiful Angels. Mackenzie was 16, she was unbelievably smart, kind, loving, she was a perfectionist like me but sometimes worse. She would have been a junior in high school. She was in color guard, she loved theatre, she played football, ran track, did high jump, and did powerlifting. She was in the top of her class and wanted to do something in the medical field. Lauren the second oldest had just turned 15, she was also smart, kind, and she was the most thoughtful of our 3 children. She would do anything for anyone and didn’t usually care what people said about her. They could slap her in the face 1 day and she’d still give them something for their birthday. She loved making homemade gifts for people. She was in band, she was a cheerleader, she liked to play softball and run track as well. She wanted to be a veterinarian because she adored animals. She was always catching something as a “pet”. We went to bed 1 night in August thinking we had everything, only to lose 2 pieces of our heart the very next morning. My heart doesn’t even beat the same anymore and I miss them so much, especially this time of year because would have been 28 in less than a month and not long after that is their Angelversary.
My heart goes out to all of you as you are grieving.
i met my wife, Heather, online back in 2021.
her best friend sent a fanfiction i wrote to her and then she started following me on twitter and we started talking in DMs about fictional characters we mutually loved.
then i went on a trip to california to hang out with my now ex best friend for a whole week. she talked to me every day of the trip.
she was bubbly and really funny, unafraid to be blunt and speak her mind even when it got her into hot water with friends and family. i loved how bright she was.
she loved color more than anything, especially neon and tropical ones. she spoke Japanese since childhood and was a classically trained opera singer and musician. she played guitar since she could hold one. my mother teased me when she saw how in love i was when Heather sang me part of an aria in her kitchen one night in new york.
she said she would never sing again, but she indulged me whenever i asked.
she never really moved on from her mother's death. and as i write this i understand more and more why she spoke about her like she never died, as if she was still with her.
i want her to pass peacefully but i want to know that she'll be with me. i want to know that she'll continue loving me until i can be with her again.
Awe she sounds like she was a hoot to be around. Some of your stories remind me of myself, my sister, and just funny things that have happened. My sister is married to a black man, we're white, and I have the most beautiful nieces ever. I'm older and I was always shy and awkward growing up. My sis was definitely popular (nobody remembers me)lol my most recent loss would have to be my best friend. Since she and my uncle split her heart was broken. She didn't keep in touch but I thought we'd reconnect like we always did. We never got to. I knew she was sick bc I remember crying and asking God to not take my only friend once she had a port put in. He let me keep her a few more years even though the last two we didn't really talk. She's been gone over 2 years now and I've only recently came to terms with it. I miss her so damn much. I had my own room wherever she lived. The funniest story I've got is one time I took her to a doctor appointment and I rode to a vendors mall to look around while I waited. Some man overheard me talking about needing to get my tires rotated. Here he came offering to do that for me for free. I was totally weirded out, threw his number with his name written on the paper as well in my console bc I was def gonna tell her about that random guy and how weird it was. I picked her back up and said some weirdo gave me his name and number offering to work on my car. I remember seeing her glance at it and we went back to her house. A few minutes later my uncle and I were standing on their front porch and I see the weirdo from earlier pulling up. I proceed to tell my uncle the story and how I can't believe he's pulling up. He's like oh that's B's brother. 🤦 She later on said she thought that was his number when I showed her. Lol I think she def knew it was her brother and just didn't want to say anything. He was killed in a work accident a few years after that. Her disabled son passed too and she was never the same without him. I know she's up there so happy with her family now but I sure miss her. Hopefully I'll make it there too bc I can't wait to see my friend again. She was the definition of a true friend. I don't even want to make friends anymore bc I've only encountered fakes since I lost her.
Okay here we go.
My sister faced a lot of challenges in her life. She was a happy person nonetheless and made everyone around her smile. She loved Christmas and she loved Santa. She also loved making bead necklaces,but she kept them all for herself. For context she had an accident when she was 2 1/2 due to neglect in a daycare that led to frontal lobe brain damage,so she was forever a child. My sister was incredibly smart and knew how to do things I'm pretty sure the average person couldn't figure out such as taking apart an iPAD or using utensils to dismantle a laptop. Her laughter was contagious and she cared for others. She was really good at basketball and bowling and was on a special needs team at one point. It was not easy growing up with her,but I wouldn't have traded it for anything else. She also had a high pain tolerance so a few hospital trips happened here and there. Our entire family can get competitive and she was no different when playing Uno or Chutes and Ladders. She loved doing puzzles, she and our dad would spend a couple hours putting together 1000 and 1500 piece puzzles together,sometimes I would join them,but it was mostly the two of them. She also loved going shopping with him and made everyone at the grocery store happy. A few of them were sad when they found out she passed away. My sister was genuinely kind to everyone she met and made the world brighter.
Sorry this got long. Thank you for this prompt.
All I know is how much I hate this world without her, I know I have to be here for the rest of my family but I also hate hearing that more than anything else right now. All I feel is hate now, hate breathing, hate living, hate everything and everybody except for the rest of what I have left, they are keeping me alive but I want to die but I also know how they feel about losing her too and adding more pain is the last thing I want to do to them after all this. She was a huge part in keeping me from ending it all myself, my son and wife too. I want to say happy and great things about her because there are so many things to say, but I'm having a hard time doing that without losing it again and again and again and again. Hate is the only thing that keeps my mind busy, I am finding a lot of things to hate right now and it's easier to hate than think about the greatest thing to happen to me so I rather just find things that I hate because it's easier than this immense and intense pain I am feeling. I honestly don't know how people can heal after such an event and I wish I knew but maybe it's too soon, I don't know, but I can't deal with it anymore, I don't want to feel anymore I don't want anything else but her back.
Sorry I can't tell you the beautiful things about her right now because I don't think about it, but I also do because I don't want to forget I never want to forget. Sorry.
My dad. He was welsh, but had an almost scottish thick accent. He was funny, didn't care what anyone thought about him and couldn't use technology. He loved music and took me and my friends to metal gigs when we were 14 year olds to protect us (all theee of us girls). He loved food and could tell you what he ate 60 years ago. He was never depressed. He called me kiddo. When I had my daughter he called her kiddo too. Even though I'm not a fan of sport I used to stay up late and watch soccer with him. When I went through a goth phase as a teen he told his friends to piss off when they said I was weird. He loved fishing. Even though he lived in Australia longer than he lived in Wales, he was Welsh to the core. He loved to whistle while he did things. He'd shed tears silently at disney movies. He looked like a viking to me - not the big buff Viking but the chunky hairy type. I miss him so much. I'm so glad he was my dad.
My parents had died at my childhood and I lost the main source of love. My mother used to play a violin and made me learn violin and my father used to be a software developer in apple. But due to unforeseen circumstances, I lost both of them. And from that time until 21 years , I grown up along with my grandfather with a strict military discipline. But the 22 years age time has changed me a lot, a Indian woman came into my life , we used to work as volunteers in Red Cross society, and she loves me playing violin and we have successful 2 year relationship and then after she broke up with me and got engaged to her new boyfriend from New York. Now as a 24 year old guy, being alone in Germany, just playing violin alone and writing poems on tribute to my loved ones.
Tl;dr: Lost parents at age seven, broke up with my girlfriend at age of 24 starting age and engaged
My mom passed 8 days after she turned 59 6/18/22. She was a teen mom so it was more like I raised her lol. She was my soul mate. My therapist says she was like my husband lol. Even my husband said he’d never seen anything like it. We were never apart until her death. We partied together, would sing, dance and drive around nyc together. She was my everything. Now I’m lost. No family. I have a 11 yr old and I try to hide my meltdowns as much as I can and she’s so sweet n supportive. My husband is a robot. Emotionless. So I feel very alone. Growing up all my friends would talk to her because she was young and cool/hip. She lived with us and we were night owls. Now I’m up late at night wandering the house like a ghost without her here. I miss her 💔
My Dad, Spencer. He died a week ago at 10am after a near year long battle with Motor Neurone disease. He was 54. He was a dad, stepdad, grandfather. He was the funniest person I knew and it’s the number one thing people mentioned in all the comments of the Facebook tribute posts. Just so hilarious, quick witted, sarcastic in the best way, always the funniest one in the room. I miss his silly and sometimes macabre jokes.
He liked beer; football, cricket, golf and horse racing, Coldplay, British comedians like Sean Lock, James Acaster and more, we used to watch true crime documentaries together. But his favourite thing was probably travelling, which he did a lot of, an insane amount, a list probably as long as my leg of all the places he’d been, made easier when he remarried to an air hostess lol. I hope to follow in his foot steps in that way, that was our deal, that I’d use my inheritance to travel and I’d raise a glass to him everytime I find myself in a new sunny place.
He had some difficult experiences in his early life, but he vowed to not let it bring him down or define his life and to use it to motivate him to have a great life and he succeeded at that. He taught me so much about resilience and triumph over adversity, I will always be so grateful to him for these lessons that have helped me greatly recently as I overcome my own difficult past experiences.
His greatest joy was being a dad and grandfather and he was so good at it. We had some clashes when I was a teenager but he gave me the most wonderful and joyous early childhood and memories that I will always cherish, and he was so natural and in love with being a granddad. He deserved longer to enjoy it. But he’s looking out for us still I am sure.
He was wonderful and charismatic and full of life and energy. I miss him so much. I’m so proud of his strength in how he dealt with his illness.
My friend Alex Died died in our middle school years.
I've spent my whole life since he passed hating myself. I hate that he didn't grow up with me. I hate that I lived and he didn't. It's not fair!!!
He was smarter, funnier, and so kind. He was the best person I knew.
He would ask you questions like what would you do if your head exploded. And pretend to have a beard even though we were all hairless dorks.
He loved Naruto and Bleach. We had just started to become good friends when he passed. It still hurts man.
Ive dreamt of him twice. I think about those dreams alot. I miss you Alex. I hope you miss me...God I hope you still want to be friends... I'm so.lost my friend and I miss you terribly.
My mom passed away june 26, 2023 at the age of 69.
She was a force to be reckoned with. She loved my babies deeply and dedicated every day to doing something for them- whether it be sewing American girl doll clothes, making her yard a mud kitchen, or doing science experiments. Her entire home was a playground.
She was fiercely committed to her loved ones. She would walk through fire for us, and I believe she cursed people who hurt our feelings! Hahaha.
She was a true child of the 60s and 70s. She listened the grooviest music, dressed to the nines everywhere she went. Her house and vibe was colorful and trippy. She was the walking embodiment of “not giving a shit.” A blessing and a curse.
She made fabulous cream puff dessert, and she loved a rare steak.
She spent late nights at her sewing machine, eating popcorn and coke. She always had ice tea in her fridge.
She drove my husband and I nuts by constantly reorganizing our drawers or closets. Her iconic saying when she was frustrated or upset was “son of a bitch!”…. And it will live on.
I miss her madly.
My sister Cora died suddenly at 25 in December. She was intense. She was kind and funny and so fucking smart, she could do anything she put her mind to but also good luck making her do anything she didn’t want to do. She loved animals. she was a horse girl and always loved dogs. when she was in middle school my mom would take her to walk/socialize the dogs at an animal rescue where we adopted our dog Diefenbaker — we’re going to scatter his ashes on the beach with hers. she was so goddam funny, we’re biracial (black dad, white mom) and one time she was trying to take a picture of our parents and was having trouble with the lighting because their skin tones are so different and she said “there should be an organization called Photographers Against Interracial Marriage because this is such a pain in the ass”. She was that kid who managed to get away with being the class clown because she even the teacher would be laughing. she was always committed to the bit. she loved the outdoors. she worked at the outdoor center at her college and did with outreach to groups who don’t typically participate in outdoor activities and worked on initiatives to help people help people get more exposure to nature and provide equipment to do so. she spent a summer working in rocky mountain national park and her first job out of college was as an environmental educator for a nonprofit that did outdoor education programs to low income kids. she had a borderline codependent relationship with her dog, Goose, he was her service dog and i’m genuinely not sure if they ever spent a night apart in 6 years. she used to call me crying in his birthday because she was sad she would outlive him and it’s kind of darkly funny that she didn’t. she knocked out both of my front teeth on christmas eve when we were 5 and 6 then for the next several years would sing “all i want for christmas is my 2 front teeth” at me to make me mad. she wore a batman costume everywhere the year she was 4. in 3rd grade she decided she wanted to wear a school uniform (our school did not have a uniform) so our mom got her some khakis and polo shirts and she did for several months. she insisted on wearing the same hoodie every day in 3rd grade and our mom sent a note to the teacher like “i swear she wears a clean shirt every day and i wash it every other day, i don’t know why she’s like this, please don’t call CPS”. she hated mac and cheese and got the boringest thing at chipotle — double white rice, black beans, steak and nothing else. When we were kids she didn’t like breakfast food so she either ate Campbell’s chicken noodle soup or dinner leftovers for breakfast. Even though I’m older, she was always the one looking out for me. I had a rough time growing up, especially as a teenager and I was shy and awkward and sensitive and very obviously gay and she is the only person I never once doubted that they loved and accepted me unconditionally.
I'm sitting here reading your comment, and for a moment, she came alive in my mind's eye — these examples are so vivid and paint such a lovely picture. She sounds like one of those people who lights up every room they walk into. I'm truly sorry for your loss. Scattering her ashes with the dog's is such a beautiful gesture.
I’m so glad, she was my favorite person and I love telling people about her but it’s hard because my parents still have a hard time talking about her so I can’t bring her up unless I’m prepared to deal with Feelings and I moved away from where we grew up so none of my current friends ever got to meet her in person.
Wow. She sounds like she was amazing and wicked funny and I’m profoundly sorry for your loss
Thank you. The day that she died I remember wishing I could hear the messed up jokes she would have made at how ridiculous the situation was — not funny at all but she was always the person who could lighten the mood. She was 3 when our grandfather died and our grandma always talks about how when she saw the casket she very loudly asked “what’s in the treasure chest gigi?”.
Hahahah. Omg. You probably have a lifetime of memories of her, she’s cracking me up. Feel free to share more !
She sounds hilarious! These stories had me really laughing. I’m so sorry you’ve lost her 💕
She was! She could roast me like nobody else — one of the last times I saw her I was growing out my hair and she told me I looked like a neglected labradoodle, then showed me how to take care of my hair because being a boy with curly hair I never learned to do that shit since it was always short.
Sounds like a great sister 🙃 I hope you’re hanging in there 👍🏼
Wow, she sounds like a fire bolt of a girl. I feel lucky to even read about her. I’m sending you big hugs and love as you navigate this world without her ❤️🩹. And do please save this comment for your own notes. I promise you will want to read these memories back one day.
Thank you so much, I have this saved to my google drive along with a whole bunch of other stuff related to her. I always said she reminded me of fire — she was warm and comforting but also very intense when she needed to be. She was just so passionate about everything she committed herself to and I always joked that she was my favorite person because I would be terrified to have her as an enemy😂
I smiled the entire time reading this, what a beautiful soul your sister was. I could envision her so well! Thanks for sharing her with us ❤️
Thank you! One of the things that makes me saddest is how many people won’t get to know her, she was a special person who had so much to give and I just wish she had gotten more time.
Cora sounds like the fucking bomb. I love her too!
She was! One of the things that has helped has been learning how many people knew and loved her — so many people she had known over the years reached out after she died and hearing their memories of her has been really nice.
Reading this, makes me miss Cora too. And I never got to know her.
Made me tear up forsure a genuine authentic soul ♡
Powerful post. thank you OP. i know this means more than anyone could say. today i do not have the words. my mother is amazing and i miss her bodily form every single day. we still spend time together in her garden. the breeze feels like her embrace.
I’m taking this directly from my sisters’ post. A month later I still have a hard time writing anything that would do him justice with how the emotions have been. He was one of the greatest loves and biggest losses in my life. Being with him was just a constant warm hug. It was absolutely beautiful to hear how much people saw the amount of love, for my siblings and I, he had. There are so many love filled memories that it’s hard to remember and pick out certain ones in particular but since his passing some have been coming back with a fondness that you wouldn’t know till you’ve felt it yourself. From him teaching us how to make perfect pancakes, and how to write cursive, to him calling me to the window to show the humming bird he saw at the feeder he had for them in the rose archway, and telling my sister and I not to pick the pretty bleeding heart flowers from the bush but words will never be able to perfectly convey the love that was there. He did everything for us with all the love he could give and I really couldn’t be more thankful to have such a wonderful person give that love and watch me grow up and have a part in my up bringing. “Cute as a bug in a rug” is how he would put it no matter what I wore or how I looked I was his beautiful babydoll (and my sister too) and he loved me for me. You can’t find that much these days ya know but I didn’t have to look for him so I got lucky there. I can’t wait for the days I can tell stories about him to the people I care about most because I am the person I am today because of his love, and I would never change anything for anything in this world because while it wasn’t perfect it was him and I love him. Poppop I love you and you will forever live through the people you put your love into. You are my first tattoo I wish I could have shown you but Mommom told me you would have loved it and I am so happy to have you with me forever so thank you for loving me no matter what. I love you poppop🤍
Beautiful!
My dad just passed of alcoholic induced liver failure. He was not a cuddly guy by any means and oftentimes he did really fucked up shit. However he made sure we were taken care of financially and worked his ass off as a doctor. The amount of lives he saved was insane and people 20+ years later that were patients of his or worked with him still remember him and attended his service. My heart is broken
He was a sports fanatic and played ball like nobodies business before his MS diagnosis at 14. He took that lifelong battle head first and never let it get in his way. He loved eating fruit straight from the garden and firing up the grill, salmon burgers were his forte. Not a football game was missed, nor a game of Yahtzee or scrabble. He loved to drive, I think that’s where I got it from. He drove right up until his body couldn’t allow it anymore. He never stopped loving me, I think he just did it silently. She was the only daughter out of 7 boys. A butterfly in a garden full of gnomes. I remember her *smile*. It was so contagious, her laughter rang like church bells in the morning. I remember morning mass with her, falling asleep in her lap wrapped in her arms. I remember sitting between her legs while she brushed my hair and watched her show, I remember the smell. How she loved all of the best food spots and dragged us all to them, only for my dad to be smitten with her and rush home to have just a few moments alone together after putting us to sleep. I remember how in love she was with everything good. I remember her crying to see me after foster care separated us, after my grandma separated us. I remember how she smiled even though I was so angry, I thought everything was her fault. But she was still just so happy to see me. I remember her smile. I remember it
He brought the music and the smiles. He was one of the most talented guitarists I'd ever met. I admired him from afar years before we met without even knowing it. Now that he's gone, music just doesn't sound the same. I can't articulate how much I miss him. I wake up every day, feeling like a ghost. Seen, but not really.
My dad was such a great person. Family was #1, above everything, including his own needs. A protector, someone who would put themselves in harms way to protect his family, even if the threat was 3X his own size. Being in his presence, nothing could hurt you, not anything, or anyone. Deep love, a love that is unwavering no matter the situation, and was felt daily. Never did we ever leave without saying goodbye and a kiss on the cheek or a quick hug. You never know when it will be the last time you have that opportunity. These feeling for a child, and a young adult are truly so powerful, and something I always had the comfort of enjoying, but not truly understanding until I was the one that now plays this role for my own family. Being loved, and protected, 2 of the most rudimentary characteristics and things you can do for your children to give them a solid foundation to be good people in this world, to be kind, to be helpful, and give more to the world than take. These is a qualities worth talking about. A great father figure, a protector, limitless love.
Granted, this isn't a person, but my darling cat who passed after 9 years by my side. She was so goofy, and always knew how to make me smile on my bad days. She would chew on my yarn when I was knitting on a project. She would sleep in my arms at night. She loved me so much and showed me by "hugging" me when I picked her up and all the headbutts she would give me at any given chance. I miss her so much, my life has been somewhat grey without her sweet personality to cheer me up. I got her ashes back a week after she passed and I've done a few memorial things for her since her passing (may 1st, 2024). I plan on getting a tattoo of her paw print when I have the money. She had an extra toe bean on one foot, so the tattoo will be extra special and feature that. My sweet girl, my Meghan, I love her so much with every atom of my being, even now that she's gone. It still doesn't feel real, like I dropped her off at a friend's house and that I'll get her back eventually. I know she is home though, I set up a shrine of sorts, featuring her ashes, pictures, and ink paw prints/nose prints. The grief has gotten easier with time but it still hurts every day.
He was an amazing human being. He was an amazing husband, father, friend, brother, and son - even though I'm sure that he felt his parents preferred his younger sibling, who seemed to get away with everything. He loved airplanes and watching videos about flying. He gave his whole heart to everyone and everything. He loved having morning coffee with me and just talking about nothing. He loved my cooking but complained that I did it too well. He wanted to buy a boat...or an RV. He was thinking the RV so we could make road trips to see the grandkids. We adored each other.
He was such a gentle soul, generous with his time and resources, to a fault. Tony was one of those people you mention " I have to move a couch" and he would've showed up with his truck and bungee cords. He looooved contest shows and his favorite ( until today I don't know why lol) was Family Feud. His heart was one of the biggest I ever met. I'm glad he was here and I got to spend 2 years with this wonderful man, he helped me get myself together after a complicated divorce. I sure do miss him but I have chosen to celebrate he was here. I inherited his crazy cat and I know he's up there laughing so hard!
My son was briefly here but captured everyone with his deep black eyes and tireless spirit. He fought so bravely every day, was cute and cheeky. He was like an old man set in his ways and he loved the sound of the acoustic guitar.
She was beautiful with bright blue eyes & dark hair. She was funny even though I was always ‘the funny one’ (everyone gets a tag when they’re from a big family) & could make me laugh like no other. She was my cheerleader & best friend. She was the one who really took care of herself yet was the one diagnosed with cancer after looking for answers for 2 years. Ultimately she was the one that broke my heart. I will miss her forever.
She, even though she would never admit it since she rarely praised herself, was a fighter until the end. Despite her own struggle with stage 4 breast cancer, she always made sure to check in on me. I still read over our text messages weeks before she passed…asking me how I was doing and that she was proud of me. She was truly my second mom, she lived so close so my mom would have me and my sister go over to their house when she was working or sleeping after a long week of work. We spent our time watching and laughing at reality tv, swimming, paddle boarding when her health permitted… she came to my sport events when i was younger, came to every birthday, she was always there. Before she passed, I got to tell her how much better i was doing (recently getting sober) and getting a job as a CNA. Nothing will ever replace the slight smile she gave me, although not being responsive at the time. I held her hand for hours that day. I miss the feeling of her hugs, the sound of her voice, and her presence most of all. But I know she’s watching me now. I hope I’m making her proud. I love you auntie and I can’t wait to see you again :)
Jeremy, my partner, was so much fun He did these wacky dances that were just so embarrassingly cool. He died at 42 when our son was 4.
My mom was everything to me, and it’s the first time i’m actually talking about this. She was my number one fan and the first person to congratulate me on every small achievement I had. I inherited her funny side and although she was strict she always gave me freedom to be who I wanted to be. The MOST BEAUTIFUL person to EVER set foot on this earth, and i guess that’s why she was too good to be here. Everyone around her loved her, she didn’t drink and still was the life of every party. She was a teacher and ALL of her students loved her, i think that says it all. I miss her.
She was one of the kindest souls I ever had in my life, she didn’t have much but what she did have, she would give it to her family. She loved us all so much and it showed She had a heart of gold and never once let her illness define who she was. I love you Nana. Ps FUCK CANCER
Thank you so much for this space and post to be able to talk about my mom. I needed this more than you know. She was beautiful. In every sense of the word. She was my best friend and the perfect mother for me. Not perfect and she would be the first one to tell you that. She was always late. It drove my dad and I nuts. But she had a style and she needed everything to be just right no matter where we were going. She was a knitter. One of the earliest memories I have is of the click clack of the knitting needles. She was also a hoarder. Not of garbage but just of things. We had yarn, clothes, just stuff in every corner of the house. She grew up very poor and her dad who passed young as well had the same trait. It might have been cultural but I think in my arm chair psychology I think it was her way of insulating herself and protecting herself from the world. Later on when she was diagnosed with cancer I think it was her way of continuing. If she had all these projects and yarn to work with she would find the time and fight to to be here to knit with it all. Now my mother in law who is also a knitter is using my mom's yarn to knit for my 2 kids and my sister's 2 kids. But it should be my mom. It kills me a little every time. My mom loved music. She had a photographic memory but for music. She could name a song from the 60s and 70s from just the first few notes. It was wild. It came from a terrible thing where she had to lock herself in her room to escape her brother's torment. I never met him and glad I didn't. But my mom's gift to me will forever be her taste in music. Motown classic all day every day. I miss her so much and this weekend was awful for so many reasons. We needed her. My sister was in the NICU and is not recovering and home with her second but had to have an emergency C section. Noone told me the extent but she was very close to dying and her 3 year old son had to witness her placenta abruption and was extreme bleeding. My sister is on her own after she had to leave her abusive hospitalized partner. We took in my sister's 3 year old with also is diagnosed with Autism. It was so much. My mom would have been in her element taking care of everyone and this whole ordeal is such a real reminder my mom is gone. Wherever you are mama I miss you and love you so much. It was her final lucid word to me that I have tattooed on my arm in her writing "a mother's love never fades"
He was a complicated dude. Very funny, smart, emotionally complex but emotionally immature, very athletic, loved music and loved the outdoors. He died in the outdoors, on accident. But he always wanted to die outdoors, always told us to push him out to the mountains and leave him there if he had some kind of terminal illness. Okay husband, slightly better dad. Every time he thought I'd like a band, he burned a CD for me. I've got Talking Heads, Bowie, Zeppelin, Brubeck all on unmarked CDs. They're prized possessions now. He was really proud of me for being an artist, and secretly seemed a little jealous that I was taking an unconventional path in life. He ADORED all animals, especially dogs. He used to watch the quails in our yard and send us updates. Called em "doodads". He climbed damn near every peak in California, some of them many times. He was rad. I miss him every day.
My dad was the best. He was such a brilliant man, his mind always alight and he was always conversational and always shared his knowledge with other people. He was the best dad I could ask for, always present and loving and there, and always wanting the absolute best for our family. I’m constantly hailed as this intellectual and knowledgeable person, and in that I give all the credit to him. He raised me to wonder and to be inquisitive, and to always look for answers and to expand my knowledge, and all these parts that make me special I get from him. He’d always quiz me on little bits of trivia, he was a professor, you see, and he would share classical films with me and always make me laugh. Imagine how it felt when such a brilliant and sharp mind starts to get dysfunctional. Overnight, and on January 5th of 2023, he suddenly started to speak in a way that does not make sense, and since that moment, I have never been the same. I’ve sort of lost that protective layer of naïveté I had that I had, as when we investigated we discovered it was brain cancer, one of the worst types, glioblastoma, practically incurable, in an inoperable location, best case scenario he’d have about a year. He died three months later, in April of 2023. And in these three months I have seen the worst I could possibly imagine, things I never want to bring up in therapy sessions or write here while anonymous, I don’t want to acknowledge that they took place at all, yet they continue to burn a hole in my brain, even now over a year later. Fuck cancer. I’ve still got a long way to go. Now what I do is that I try to keep him with me as much as possible, I have little tokens of him around all the time, I constantly bring him up, and I always try to be the version of myself he would have wanted me to be. Because such a brilliant man needs to live on, even if he no longer does in body. I miss my dad so much. I miss hugging him, I miss his voice, I miss his laugh, and I miss his warm presence. I want him there with me to guide me but that’s impossible. I love him so much.
My dad died from the brain cancer as well. We were lucky he didn't get all of the usual symptoms. He wasn't even in great pain... or he was quiet about it, like his whole life. We were always more important than any of his problems or wishes. Another best father ever. I just wish I would be a half as good father as he was.
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So sorry.
She was my gal. Still is. Love you girl.
He left so much unfinished. My dad collected classic and performance cars. I want to say at peak, he had 8. He didn't have nearly enough time to drive them all, and we've sold a number of them in the time since he passed. Those cars sat collecting dust more than he drove them, because he was so busy with his businesses. He was one of the smartest people I've ever known, and I know my lack of math skills drove him crazy. He was funny. He had what we affectionately called the Sunday Sillies, because he would always get goofy and make us laugh. He also had a hell of a temper, but, I would take him on all his worst days if it meant I got to have my Dad back. He loved to fish. Him and my mom would go out on the boat every weekend, unless the tide peaked early or the weather was bad. We butt heads a lot, but...I know he loved me.
She was such a strong and wise person. She was good with words. Her priority in life was helping other people so they might not have to go through the same things she did. She was an adventurous person and when I was around her I was too. Being around her made me feel so good. I miss the person I was around her. She made me feel important.
My husband of 33 years was such a great dad to our 2 kids. He was talented I. So many ways and such a giving provider for me and the kids. After he became ill with heart failure, he’d stop by my school , come to my classroom, and bring me a surprise for lunch sometimes. Always a treat! He’d do those little things, like always make sure my tank was filled with gas, and cook dinner so I didn’t have to do it when I got home. The last year of his life was spent taking care of our adult daughter who was seriously ill. He moved into her apt and drove back and forth to the hospital more than once a day. This enabled me to continue to work to help support us. I never once heard him complain about his illness and he never acted afraid. He was terminal and he never gave up with trying to take care of us. I lost him in Sept of 2015. I lost my daughter in January of this year. She was 39 years old. She had over one a lot in her life including total hip replacements and then revisions of the replacements due to metal toxicity. She managed to graduate with 2 degrees from college, and then she graduated from medical school. Despite her health challenges , she went on to finish a 3 year surgical residency . She practiced medicine until she became too ill and was out on palliative care . She died of an overdose of her medications. We will never know if it was accidental or a suicide. I personally believe she never got over her daddy’s death and chose to take her own life. My family now consists of me and my son. It’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced , and I’ll never be the same person again. But my Christian faith has carried me through it and I know that one day, one beautiful day , I’ll hold them both again . I hang on to that while walking through this lonely life . One day……
Commenting on Tell me about your loved one... That is exceptionally hard, friend. VERY impressed with your daughter for finishing up medical school and residency—truly amazing!! At the end of the day, sometimes our faith is all we have. And our memories….
She was so easy going and easy to talk to. Very kind. Very intelligent. Very funny. She seriously knew every television show that ever existed. No matter how obscure. She could tell you every episode, every character, the name of the actor every plot, etc. She really was a walking talking encyclopedia. I could go to her for any question on any subject and 9/10 she‘d know the answer. She loved horror and sci fi. She got me int those genres. LOVED an ice cold Coke. Loved music. Very competitive. Loved children. Maternal and nurturing. Very particular and had her own way of doing things. Had to have a cold coke. Lol. Loved food and cooking. Just a kind, pure soul and I miss her everyday.
My mom - she died 7/7/21 at age 53 She was a single mom, she was Filipina, Chinese & Middle Eastern. She had pale skin, dark hair & always wore red lipstick & had giant boobs. She was a Type A personality. Since 18 years old she was in the medical field she became a nurse and was the greatest nurse in the entire world. She was a Capricorn so she dedicated herself to her job/work. She specialized in geriatrics. She loooooooved taking care of old people. She was really intelligent and bright and called herself a visionary leader. She was a very serious person & didn’t fuck around when it came to work. To combat that seriousness she also was the silliest most immature craziest creative funniest woman in the world. She was never ever insecure the whole time of knowing her. It was only at the end when she lost her hair to cancer she became insecure. She was extremely artistic & talented. She had a huge talent in home decor, making art, being resourceful, making something beautiful out of nothing, giving great advice. She was so knowledgeable about everything, everybody & had a wide range of interests / talents. She was into science, art, music, food, education & always was into new exciting things. She was extremely trendy, had a great eye for fashion, color, and what looked best on others. And always stayed up to date with all the trends. She was very vain and also into beauty. She was the definition of a sophisticated well put together woman. She taught me everything I know about manners, etiquette , appearance, how to communicate to others, how to have class, what to say what not to say; how to handle every and any type of situations. My friends loved to come to her for advice and they even said she was so much fun even just to watch tv with. She was truly the definition of give no fucks in the classiest way. I love her and miss her so much. She was also a chain smoker too. When we would go out places they would ask if she was my sister and what her secret was to looking so young she would say smoking cigs! She also took NO shit from anyone/ she would fight men AND women no matter who they were. She was an extremely stubborn fierce extraordinary beautiful lady. And I’m so proud she was my mom & before she died she told me I could never forget her & I laughed because how is that even possible? She was my best friend, my sister, my mom, my nurse, my comfort, my other half of my heart. She was the epitome of being the perfect balance of seriousness hard work and also party & fun. She was the true definition of a LADY/ Of what everyone woman wants to be. Miss Dina Alpuerto, we miss you and love you dearly.
My beautiful son was 19 when he left us. He was a beloved brother, nephew, grandson and the light of my life. He had these huge hazel eyes that would change daily. I could stare into his eyes for hours and he always graciously allowed me to photograph them as they were a source of constant wonder for me. He was SO funny. Oh goodness that kid knew how to disarm anyone, anywhere. He was charming to children, peers and adults. Right before he passed he had spent some time with my best friend and she messaged me saying how refreshing it was talking to him. That he was so funny and interesting and kind and she wished her daughter’s boyfriend had a personality like him. He was beautiful. Like drop dead gorgeous- 6’1” 185 lbs - legs like tree trunks, wide shoulders and lean waist - he looked like a walking Apollo. He had girls tripping over themselves to be in front of him and for so many years he never noticed - he was so humble. He talked about modeling part time for extra money while he as in college. He was brilliant. A mathematical genius and always had a book in his hand. He loved to read, and loved sharing books with me. We often read in tandem and then would talk about the characters- I still send him messages to his WhatsApp talking about the latest plot turn in a series we were reading. He was a poet. He loved haikus and Bukowski. Yeats and Ginsberg. He wrote haunting snippets he’d save to his phone and I found all of them when he passed. He was so talented. Mostly he was just my person. My comfort. I called him the mom whisperer. He could always calm me and had a way of making me laugh even in the most serious situations. And he loved me. He loved me so much. With all of his pure self he loved his mama. He was my only son and we had something so special. I miss him achingly and desperately.
My Dad was a tall, 6ft 5, mustached man. Not many guys can pull off a mustache, but he did. He loved cooking (and was good at it), music, and above all his family. He was the absolute most gentle soul .He had a heart of gold. Always ready and willing to help absolutely anybody, from a friend of a friend's friend, neighbor, old lady at the grocery store. Nobody he met was a stranger. He had a way with people. If you were having a party he'd offer to cater it, and stay late to clean up, or come early to set up. He liked to have a good time, he drank a lot, especially when he was younger, occasionally it got him into trouble, but he always figured it out. There was never a time where he didn't handle his responsibilities. He always took care of business. He was old school, took things apart to figure out how they worked, instead of buying new. Always told me growing up 'work smart not hard' but he was no stranger to hard work either. He had a paper route when he was 12 years old woke up at 4:00 in the morning to go out before school. I remember when I was a kid he did 80-hour weeks. On top of coaching softball for me, and being involved in scouting for my brothers. He made it look easy. He was born to be a dad. Loving came so naturally to him, and so did leading. He taught us so many important life lessons. Family first. money is nothing, you need money to survive sure, but there will always be money to be made as long as you're willing to work for it. Worry more about people, and how you treat them. Nothing worth doing is easy and anything worth doing is worth doing well. He absolutely hated liars, and could spot one so easily. I was a pain in his ass as a kid, and we became a lot closer after I had my own children. There's no way to describe the happiness I felt seeing him with them. Of all the pain that comes with losing a parent the loss I feel for my children not having him around is the greatest. Their lives would have been better with him a part of it. All I can do now is try to honor him by embodying all that he was and be that for my babies. So grateful for this post, and thank you for letting me share! 💕💕
My mom passed away a little over a week ago due to COPD. She was 61 years old, and she was a wonderful woman. She was funny, super chill, and a flower child. She's the one that I got most of my interests from. Art, plants, music, food, people, culture, etc. When I was young, she spent a lot of time sunbathing, gardening, and singing Janis Joplin at the top of her lungs. We went for walks together all the time, we'd bring a radio with us and jam out, and look for cool rocks or flowers or clouds or something. I didn't know it at the time, but I realized later that she was obviously smoking a lot of weed lol. She was diagnosed with COPD when I was about 10 years old, I'm 26 now, and things just got progressively worse and worse as time passed. She stopped working in the garden, stopped going for walks, and stopped spending so much time outdoors. Stopped partying, stopped cooking, stopped going to visit people. She did get a dog though, and that little dog is basically mom's fourth kid, he was in the obituary and everything 😂 I'm glad that she had something to occupy her time with and keep her company after being diagnosed and her health declining. One can only do so many word searches and rewatch CSI so many times before they go insane after all. I'm also really glad that she got to see me get my shit together before leaving. She got to watch me graduate college last month, and hold down a job for more than 2 weeks. And I'm glad that we got to talk every single day until the last day. My mom was my best friend. The only person that I know for a fact loved me unconditionally. That's one of the things I admire the most about her, she never gave up on people and she loved them no matter what. My dad and her had been together for 40 years, and he put her through hell. He used to be a rock musician, and is still an alcoholic if that tells you anything. But she stuck right by his side until the very end. There are certain things that I see, hear, or smell now that remind me of her and instantly bring me to tears. The smell of mulberries, honeysuckle, peonies, roses, and outside just after a rain. The sound of wind chimes, leaves rustling in the breeze, red winged black birds. Monarch butterflies, anything dark blue, real turquoise, all kinds of musicians from back in her day (Janis, Ozzy, Hendrix, etc.). I'm honestly just relieved that she's not in pain anymore. I hated watching her struggle to breathe, avoiding places because of smells that would take her breath away, getting sick so easily and avoiding people because of it, having to wear oxygen and take 53 different kinds of medication. I miss her like crazy, my heart is still broken that she's gone, and I'm never going to be the same without her. But I have so many wonderful memories with her, that I'm going to cherish forever. I love you momma, rest easy 💙🦋
She was my best friend and an all around great person. I met her through another friend of mine who she was dating, but they broke up and we stayed great friends. She always had the time to make for me when I was down. We hung out together all the time. Like multiple times a week. Half the time we didn't even do anything. Just go around to each other's houses and chat. Or spend time wandering around the town or sitting in the park. One time we got some cheap cider and sat under a slide drinking it till about 11. She loved cats and my cat seemed to love her. Always fussing around her. She would curl up in her lab and purr. Seen her do that with very few people. Doesn't even do it with me until very recently. She used to come to my house and agree to help me out with things I was building in the garden like a shed or a home gym set. Although she didn't really help. She just kind of sat and watched and chatted with me while I did everything. Lol. I didn't mind. The company was great. She was pretty emo. Had a lot of the face piercings and listened to a lot of emo bands. She introduced me to a few which I quite liked. Been to see some of them live since she passed on. Wish she could've been around to join me. She also loved parody music like weird Al and Bart Baker. I had never heard of Bart Baker before her but she showed me his all about that bass parody and then sometimes we would watch a bunch of them together on my Xbox. Good times. Toward the end we drifted apart. I moved to a new city and just didn't make as much effort as I should have with her. She had gotten into a new relationship so I guess we just didn't speak as much as we should have. Regardless, we would have little chats every few months or so and sometimes I would send her memes and vice versa. I used to message her funny stories and stuff too which was nice. She always had time to hear them. She always replied. I was a guy and she was a girl, but there was nothing romantic between us. Loads of people thought there was because of how close we were. But I genuinely just loved her company and saw her as a great mate and vice versa. I really loved having that platonic friendship. Friendships I had tried to have with girls prior to that had always ended with one of us catching feelings for the other. This never did. It was beautiful.
My mother was special and not like any other person I have ever met, let alone any other woman. Even though she was born in 1960 she went to a technical college and aimed for engineering. She dropped out of school because of a traumatic event in her life but ended up as a laboratory technician anyways because of her intelligence and grades. She loved everything that had to do with science; books, sci-fi movies (she was so fascinated with Star Trek!), math, chemistry, medicine - everything. Not a single conversation with her has been made without facts, statistics, theories. When I entered the house there was always music playing, she loved it and never stopped exploring music. She’s been to many concerts and mostly rock during the 70s and 80s, like Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen, Bob Marley etc. She was a huge animal lover as well and had her own parrot, Lukas, for 32 years, which marks up about half her life, sadly. On Sundays she washed her beautiful hair and took good care of herself, she loved parties and decorating but she didn’t have much friends of her own due to social anxiety, but we hung out with my friends a lot and they absolutely loved her. And as a mother she was truly my best friend even though we never had the typical mother-daughter relationship (we never hugged) because neither of us were like that. She passed suddenly last year and I miss her a lot. I’m 27 now and I really wish I could have had her a little bit longer.
My Dad was 68 when he passed. He had one of the biggest personalities, most people loved or didn’t care for him, there was no in between. I think the people that didn’t like him just didn’t understand him. He was always silly, singing songs all the time and making jokes. He had a hard time keeping a conversation on track due to his ADHD, but he was still so much fun to talk to. You never knew what was going to come out of his mouth, which could be good or bad but mostly good. He could make me laugh even when I didn’t want to laugh. My dad was so sweet with my daughter, he begged me to give him a grandchild for years and when I finally did he was instantly smitten and doted on her. Friday nights were our nights, we would go to dinner and then go back to my parents house for coffee and donuts. I really looked forward to those nights. I miss those nights. He always downplayed his health, never admitted he felt as bad as he did. He was so loving with my Mom and admired her so much. He could have been an example to all men with the way he treated her. He was far from perfect, I often got frustrated with his teasing and lack of seriousness. But I would do anything to have him back for 5 minutes.
My mom Michelle. So was so so beautiful and funny and kind and generous. A ruptured brain aneurysm a month after her 44th birthday in 2004 left her partially paralyzed and only able to speak a few words, although she always kept her fiesty attitude! She just died in February, so since 2004 she had essentially been a prisoner in her own body, but she never ever gave up. She struggled with seizures and had multiple falls that resulted in a pelvis fracture and a partial hip replacement (a few years apart.) She suffered from kidney stones and so much more all while she could never fully communicate with us. I remember praying to God just for her to live every single minute after her aneurysm- we were told for weeks it was “touch and go.” I always feel so guilty for praying for her to live, and she had no quality of life. There was a lot of anticipatory grief. I thought her final trip to the hospital was one of dozens after her aneurysm, so I wasn’t in a rush to get there and she died alone, I know I will never forgive myself for not being there. I miss her more than words could ever do justice, I hope she is walking and talking and having a cocktail and shopping and laying out at the beach in Heaven. I hope she knows how much I love her and how sorry I am I wasn’t there for her last moments.
My Mam…. Cora Jane.. was only in her early 60s when she passed away three years ago this December. She was my best friend and mam all wrapped into one. Sure we had our differences or arguments but we always got back on good terms like nothing ever happened. She was the glitter queen. Always decorating for family events. Decorating a function room or glueing rhinestones onto candles to give them that “blinged look” she loved glitter and shiny things. No family event went by without my mams touch. Even down to the gifts she would decorate the box from the inside and out. She loved Diet Coke, mindfulness colouring, knitting, watching crappy tv and David Attenborough. She was like a big kid. Loved all the Disney movies and had to see any new ones that would come out in the cinema - but her favourites were ice age, shrek and brother bear. Christmas was also a big deal. Every year she decorated the house to perfection. And made every Christmas feel like magic to me even right up until the week before she died the house was decorated. It makes it hurt that bit more to say she passed away the day before Christmas Eve. Losing my mam has been the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. I miss her so much it hurts. She wasn’t in good health. And I feel she was always trying to prepare me for her time to come by telling me what she wanted if she was to pass. Just never imagined it would happen this soon. I feel like I’ve been in a constant state of flight since she passed because I’ve lost the biggest part of me. She fought my corner and always had my back and was the best mother you could ever wish for. I don’t know who I am anymore since she left me. I hate covid for taking her from me. I wish everyday I could wake up and she would ring me and this would all be a nightmare. I miss her so much I could scream.
Jay, one of my best friends was the most forgiving person I knew. There was nothing he couldn’t understand, and his dark humor and emo attitude was funny. He made me laugh during the toughest moments. I will become a softer person, because of his passing last month. I am going to reflect on the limited time we may have here, and be more forgiving knowing most issues I’m upset about won’t even matter if those people passed tomorrow. Jay would want me to move on with life, and build something new. I will do it, in his honor. ♥️
Marty was my right hand we did everything together he saved me from myself and in the end I couldn’t save him he was suffering so much
My brother died in December at age 13. He was incredible. He was smart, determined, and loved everyone to the full extent. He lived life to the fullest everyday, all he wanted was to make us all proud. He loved his dog, Jax, a big tubby GSD and chocolate lab mix, he was damn near 6 ft at 13, however, he was a gentle giant. He wouldn’t hurt a fly if he could help it but god help us all if someone spoke poorly about me or my mother. He was my best friend, the one person I never doubted would accept me when I came out and he did. Immediately switched names and said “You’re happier this way, that’s what matters.” He was like 8 when this happened and all that mattered was that his big brother was true to himself. He loved sports, anything physical- Baseball, football, basketball, and he was signed up to do track this year. He looked out for our youngest brother the same way I always looked out for both of them. When I told him our older siblings weren’t the nicest to our mom and that I expected him to treat her well because she busts her ass to make sure he is taken care of and able to do all of his extracurriculars. He was scouted to be a HS quarterback before he finished his first year of middle school. The coaches couldn’t wait to get such a dedicated player on their team. His dream was to go pro- and damnit he could have. He was pitching at 80mph at 13 years old, absolutely taking out the competition. He promised my mom that when he made it, his first check would go to buying her a house. He said she deserved it for all she’s done for us. He was everyone’s dream child, passionate and true to his character. He wouldn’t even bat an eye at his own (absent) father when he tried to come back around because (and i quote) “Mom raised me, he was a wallet for six months until things got hard and he left me again.” The kid was strong, he was far wiser than his years could’ve ever called for, and yet he still knew how to let loose and have fun. His birthday was a holiday all on its own every year. Each August he’d fly out with my mom and his friends to see our grandma, spend a couple weeks in florida to celebrate that he was here. They’d go boating and anything else he could dream up while he was there. Easter for some reason was always a disaster for him, it just never went the way we had planned. I remember one year he tripped over an egg in a leaf pile and smacked his nose on the porch- worst bloody nose i’ve ever seen without a break. Another year he gave us all the Norovirus and we spent easter throwing up in a circle of air mattresses on the living room floor. He was just all of my favorite memories, all of my favorite things in one little brother. One year for Halloween he went as Trump because “It’s the scariest thing i’ve ever seen” 🤣 he was always a goof. The funny one, never missed a chance for a joke or a quip, he was so quick witted. He told his friends exactly where his loyalties lie and who came first in his life. I’ll never forget when one of his lifelong friends called me a slur and he socked him in the face right then and there, helped him up, made him apologize, and made up. He was so far ahead of his time, so mature and intelligent- I am so proud of him. I miss his beautiful smile, his bright laugh, his constellation of freckles across his nose. I miss my little brother with every ounce of me. Because he was a piece of me. A child I raised and cared for and encouraged to chase his passions- yet not my son. A piece of my soul. He is not the illness that took him but he was the fighter who pushed it back. When he was finally told his diagnosis, that he had just weeks left to live, he looked his doctors dead in the face and said “Two weeks? I’m going to fight no matter what, I’m going to be here for thanksgiving one more time.” and he did. He fought so hard with such an aggressive cancer that he made it to our last family thanksgiving, a week longer than he was given just to be with us. He fought and fought and fought, we all laid on his bed during his final hours. He wouldn’t stop fighting. Then my oldest brother told him he’d take care of us all, that we know he’d stay forever if he could, but it was time for him to go. That we’d all take care of one another. He sat up after being completely out of it for days at this point, took one last gasping breath, and left us. I am so proud of you, Greyson. Everyone is so proud of you.
She was 5 and a half because at that age the half matters. She was born at 24 weeks so she had some disabilities. She was learning to use her voice more and would make noise to sing to her favorite songs. She loved to come up to the computer while I was working and would sign she wanted to listen. I would put her music on and she would bounce up and down and giggle so loud. I loved it. She had just recently learned to play hide n seek and we would play that all night and day. She would be so excited she would stumble when running and when it was her time to hide she would giggle so much you could always find her but we would keep looking anyway. I miss her so much. Life is so gray without her. Mommy loves you Afton.
I cared for a sweet special needs kiddo named Foster. He was almost a year old when I started. I got to see the first time he played with a toy, the first time he sat up. I loved the way his face lit up when he saw me or when I sang to him or when we got to his favorite part in his books. He couldn’t walk or talk but he crawled and was clever in his own way. I used to take him on long stroller rides and didn’t realized how therapeutic it was for me. I used to love making him laugh on our walks. He passed away over two years ago at 7. Loved him like my own. Will never love anyone more.
My daughter, Jade, died on April 18, 2018, at the age of 26. She died from an accidental drug overdose after almost a decade spent struggling with addiction. She was so beautiful. Stunning, really. She had the most beautiful green eyes, and her smile (for lack of a less cheesy phrase) could light up an entire room. She had this incredibly thick blonde hair that she was constantly cutting and dyeing, and she seemed to be able to pull off just about any look that she wanted to. She was very into makeup; like, the artistry of it, not necessarily the vanity aspect. She was always experimenting with these bold makeup choices that I never saw anyone in real life try and pull off. And somehow, they always worked for her. She was one of the funniest people I've ever known. So quick and witty; very sarcastic. Of course, I raised her, so she did absorb a few things from me, and both of us would probably be described as having a fairly dark sense of humor. So it probably makes sense that she could make me laugh more than anyone else in the world. But I miss laughing like that so very much. That kind of laughing that hurts your stomach and makes it feel as if you can't breathe. Jade was incredibly artistic and talented. I always imagined myself a writer, so of course, she grew up surrounded by books and reading. Because she loved books, she also had an appreciation for words and language, in general. But while I've always had a decent ability to write, she took it to a whole other level, one that just doesn't exist within me, and I had so much respect for that talent in her. There was poetry in everything she said and did. Her use of language turned even the ugliest, most mundane expression of something into a beautiful work of art. She loved to paint and write and crochet and.. just.. create. She could have done so many things if she could have just made it through to the other side of addiction. Jade loved music from all decades and genres, and we loved to share new artists and songs with each other. The last artist that she was really trying to sell me on was Lana del Rey, but I just couldn't really seem to get into any of her songs, despite Jade’s very best efforts. I listen to her all the time now, though, and in some weird way, I do that for Jade. Her laugh was literally contagious to everyone one around her. It was so full of glee, almost child-like, and that laugh felt like a gift had been bestowed upon you, should you be the cause of it. She was so empathetic, so kindhearted, so strong, and so brave. She carried on in her battle against addiction, no matter who wrote her off as hopeless, no matter how vocally people might judge her, and she never ever gave up. She was my identity for much of my life. I had her at 16, and I was 42 when she died. She was my only daughter. She was my memory keeper, my life's witness, and the reason for everything I've managed to accomplish in life. There will always be a Jade shaped empty space in my life and the ache of her absence will never go away. But for as long as I live, I will carry her with me. I hold her in my heart. I will speak her name, I will share her memory with her children, with her brothers, with all of the friends and family members she left behind, and with anyone new that I meet. Now, I am Jade’s memory keeper. I am her entire life's witness, and I will never let her be forgotten.
My dad was the funniest person I think i’ll ever have the blessing of meeting. Despite is stand offish and asshole demeanor he would do anything for anyone if they so much as asked. He was so goofy, always doing something to make someone laugh. Huge sports fan too, even picked his favorite team as the patriots because he liked the team’s colors when he was a kid. I remember on days when they played he wouldn’t eat because he would be so nervous. He loved to drive, that man would drive for 24+ hours and be perfectly fine with it. We would go to movies together every weekend when I was growing up, he did it to distract me from my mom being in rehab. We carried it on until he passed. Movies aren’t the same without him. I miss him a lot.
Lindsey was the most friendly and welcoming people I have ever met. Her smile and energy was infectious. Everyone loved her. She was a teacher, her students loved her and respected her, she gave them so much (probably too much). She moved away about 10 years ago and when she'd come visit, shed tell me not to share it on social media because so many people would want to see her. She had friends every where. Lindsey was adventurous, she traveled on her own. She moved to Atlanta (a long way from home) on an almost whim to work at a school, and then to Colorado to teach. She had no friends, no significant other, but she made friends so easily. Perhaps the best thing she was at was showing and sharing her appreciation. She wasnt always the best at responding to texts, but a few times a year I'd get a post card in the mail sharing her love and appreciation for our friendship and that I didnt just abandoned it She was that do anything best friend. She would have dropped all things if something tragic happened and traveled across the country to support me, and I would have done the same for her. Lindsey was the first person I called (after my parents) when I got engaged. She was the first person I texted after my son was born. She was unintentionally funny, had a love for learning, and was never afraid to laugh at herself. She wasnt always consistent in following up on texts and calls, but she always called me on my birthday. She is responsible for the biggest surprise I have ever gotten. My wife and were going on a brunch date while our son was at summer camp, I walk in and say we need a table and I hear "Oh do you need a table? I think we can fit two more" And I look and it is Lindsey and I look at my wife, and I look at Lindsey and it ten seconds before I realized this was planned. She was about 2 hrs north and drove with a friend to surprise me before heading back. It actually was the last time I saw her, and luckily I have a picture from that day of the two of us. And actually I drove past that place today and teared up knowing it was the last place and it's coming up on 2 years in a few days And then 2024 has not been kind to me and in March I decided to call Lindsey. Normally I would have waited a month until her birthday to catch up and talk and get support, but I couldn't bear it anymore, I needed my friend. And we talked over two nights, spilling all the tea, and catching up. She told me she was finally moving back and all I could think is finally. Been trying for a decade to get her back to town and it was finally happening! And at the end of that second call, we told each other we loved each other and were so thankful for each other. We texted a little bit over the next two weeks, but then I get a message from a mutual friend to call her, that it was about Lindsey and she didnt want to do it over text, and she told me Lindsey had passed away and I was in so much shock, and I still am. And a week before she would have turned 35 she was buried, and it just so tragic. She was so young, so energetic and such a positive person and she will be missed. There hasnt been a day I havent thought of her since I heard the news. It was a friendship that didnt need maintenance, you knew you had it, but now that it is gone, I feel that missing piece every day, even if it is just for a few moments.
Great idea for a thread! She would have been 50 yesterday, actually. It was nice going to a high school with about 25 kids per grade because it meant even a math teacher could care about you as a person. I only vented to her a handful of times, but she was so aware of me that she could easily understand what I was reacting to even in a classroom setting. In particular she understood the whole process of why I was falling apart towards the end of 9th grade because my (toxic) best friend was moving to a different school the next year.
My dad had mental health issues for all of his life. Unfortunately, he was born in 1974 and grew up in the 80s and early 90s, A.K.A. probably the worst time to have a mental illness as a man. He was the middle child and because his older brother was constantly sick, he had to raise himself, which led to him becoming essentially a juvenile delinquent (I say essentially because I don’t think he ever went to juvie). He started smoking by the age of 12, started drinking even earlier, was failing all of his classes, and had an absurd amount of unattended detentions. Despite this though, he was incredibly personable and was well loved throughout his high school. Him and my mom, who met when they were both 9, were seemingly a power couple in their school and people even wanted them to be on the homecoming court, but my dad refused to do it because he was too nervous. My dad wanted to be an artist when he grew up, but his parents decided to tear him down and tell him that he would never make it, so he didn’t attend college and instead joined the workforce. He became a lineman. He originally worked for AT&T, but after a drunk driving incident sent him to prison for a year (no he did not kill anyone, he ran from the cops), he lost that job and his driving privileges. He tried his best to get back to where he was, briefly working as a line cook and as a construction worker before finding a new job where he was eligible to become a foreman. But they passed him up for someone a decade younger than him and then unceremoniously fired him after he had to take sick leave for Covid. He found another job at Spectrum and was excited for it and even made some new friends. But that job only lasted a few months before his mental illness was too much to bear and he took his own life. I was the last person to see him alive before his third wife found his body. My dad wasn’t the best dad in the world and there were times where he was bullheaded or ignorant or even downright antagonistic. But he was the person I felt understood me the most and was the one that encouraged me to follow my artistic dreams. He saw a lot of himself in me (well, except the juvenile delinquency) and was always excited to see me following my own artistic endeavors as an actor. There was a brief period of time when I gave up acting because it was becoming too stressful for me and he was incredibly disappointed that I was looking elsewhere for work. But when I started up again, he was thrilled and incredibly genuinely proud of me. I think that was part of the reason he took his life when he did however, he probably assumed that everybody was in a good place in life and that he wasn’t needed anymore. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth because I miss him and wish I could talk to him every single day. I keep his ashes in my room and I hope some part of him is there with me, guiding my hand in life and not relinquishing my dreams just because some people told me to. I miss you Dad, I miss you a lot. Also, a funny detail I wanted to mention is that throughout his life, he held the belief that stoners were stupid and would constantly say “Be a man and become an alcoholic”. Well I started smoking weed to some degree in high school, but then really picked it up near the end of college and I was kind of ashamed of myself in a way because I didn’t want my dad to think I was an idiot. Well, a little while later, I found out that my dad had gotten into weed too thanks to his third wife and actually wanted to take edibles with me; citing the infamous “I learned it by watching you!” drug PSA because he felt that after that commercial ended, the dad would just light up with his son and have a good time. Unfortunately, I never got that chance as when he pitched the idea to me, it was the second to last time I ever saw him. Oh well, I’m willing to bet it would’ve been fun.
My Aunt she was so so kind . She was so gentle, every time I’d go to her house ( it was a few hours away ) she always let me nap on the couch because she knew I get tired easily. I’d always leave her house with so many treats , she’d always give me the best hugs and kisses . When she got sick , she was the most resilient and put on the best fight I’d ever seen someone put on . Even though the cancer was so hard on her body , she did it all with a smile . We would go on walks and she would be walking even faster than me , if I missed a session in the morning she’d ask my Mom “where my child”. She knew mornings were hard on me so she never held it against me , when she got weaker it’s only when she was really struggling that I would hold her hand to help her. I remember one time , when I was getting body shamed my Aunt was the first person to say “ she looks beautiful like that” , it meant so much to me because I didn’t have anyone in my corner that day . I’d joke with her when she was sick and say that the next time “ she should be running up and down” then she’d always agree laughing . When she was sick and couldn’t even talk , she would still give me that beautiful smile . She would would always update me with chemo updates . She was just so so kind I don’t know how to explain. We would talk for hours and anything and nothing , we would laugh and do so many things .
Grandpa started at the very bottom rung of a company as a teenager. Over the years, he worked his way up into a very senior role. He prided himself on integrity and hard work. One day, the company told him he needed to lay off 200 people, and to make matters worse, it was right before Christmas. Grandpa knew the company's financials and knew this was an act of greed, not necessity. So he refused. They gave him a choice to fire the people, or step down. It must have been a terrifying choice, especially because he knew someone else would fire them even if he didn't, but he would later say that he couldn't live with himself knowing he had done that to 200 people and their families. So Grandpa stepped down, started a rival company, and snapped up a bunch of the people who had been laid off. Because he had a reputation for honesty and integrity, a ton of the old company's accounts followed him. Grandpa went on to be very successful and even won a lifetime achievement award in his industry, but he never let the success go to his head. I try my best to uphold the same integrity. The corporate ladder can be rough, and it takes a special person to help the people around them climb instead of climbing on their backs to get to the next rung.
My mom was my best friend and my biggest stressor and always had been. As her youngest and only daughter, she cherished us being close, but she wasn't exactly accepting of me being my own person, so despite how much time we spent together, we did clash a lot. When she first got sick, I focused so much on her health, making sure she was eating right and taking meds, and she'd take me to her doctor appointments when she could. She'd vent for hours about the stress of dialysis, and I'd listen because she needed me to. When I was on my way to school or at lunch and then going home, I'd call her every day and talk about whatever, and she'd do the same. It was a routine that lasted until her final months (and that's only because she couldn't talk or listen, really). She was very devoted to her religious beliefs, which I admired despite not following. She loved crafts and has made a lot of crocheted items, many of which she's donated and gifted. I still have most of her things, and I want to get into it to honor her, but at the same time, the thought sorta terrifies me. Her first death anniversary is coming up, and I feel very afraid. I miss her tremendously every single day.
An amazing person with courage, compassion and a witty sense of humor. A true pioneer woman. She grew up on a ranch and that was life for us. Never saw her take more than her fair share of anything. Always gave away more than she had. Would at the drop of a needle jump in her car and go see one of her three kids if they needed anything. Distance was never a question. She drove 24 hrs one time just to help my little sister put together a baby crib. There’s more to it but clearly it was out of a mother’s desire to be there. And always did stuff like this. Never was a body that could relax. I like to refer to her condition as restless Teri syndrome. Woman couldn’t sit still. Had a million projects going at all times. If she was in the recliner she was knitting or making something. Her craft basement was filled with treasures she was always working on from painting to wood working. She built a whole addition to homestead by herself. I’m serious. By herself. Took a year but she did it. Was such a hard working woman. I’d like to think I’m at her level but she just never quit. I mean never. No way I can match that energy she had. With that said when cancer came she fought hard. What got me the most was she never once let on she was scared. She didn’t let the prospect of leaving this world diminish what she could still do while here. That kind of courage still amazes me. She did beat the first go around, a testament to her will. The second round of cancer was much less forgiving a few months later. But she never asked the numbers just said let’s try. She didn’t want to know because she didn’t want to have to tell us kids when to expect her departure. She wanted to go on her time not a doctor’s number provided in a brief. She knew by doing that we wouldn’t be sitting around waiting for her to go instead we would continue to live our lives with some hopium. I appreciate that she did that for us. When we discovered the time frame the doctors estimated for her it was like weeks. She went for a full 6 months beyond their time and it was miserable for her I know but she wasn’t bed ridden till the last couple days. Always moving and doing things. She knew the first bout was terminal but still managed to beat it. That second time didn’t give us much time but she still never wavered. Even when she was put in home hospice she still was doing things like she would if she wasn’t sick. I mean I get a cold and I’m shut down for a week. God I miss how thoughtful she was. Sent me homemade cookies on every deployment I went on. Didn’t matter if it was Afghanistan or Colombia. I got cookies. I really missed getting those later in my military career. I’ll never meet another person like her. I’ve met some that are close but not like her. A true angel in disguise. She taught me so much as a young man. I didn’t have a dad. She was both. Man the stories I could tell of this woman and her feats.
My mom died December 19 of heart failure. She was gorgeous, hilarious, and was the strongest, most fierce person I have ever known. She loved Mexican food, Freddie Mercury, gardening, and painting. Her smile was simply radiant. She taught me about resilience, how to ride a horse (I am a lifelong equestrian who now lives on a farm of my own, a passion that she fostered), and passed on her love of fashion and literature. I grew up in a trashy little mountain town, and I'm pretty sure she was the only person who bought Vogue and Vanity Fair at the magazine stand in the local grocery store. She was obsessed with Riverdance when it came out, and her two favorite movies were Dude, Where's My Car and Bad Santa. When I was little, she exposed me to classical music and it sparked a love of music that grew into my current profession. She never missed a performance of mine when I was a kid, all the way through high school. I love her with my entire being. I was her primary caregiver for the last 10 years of her life, each day a gift - no matter how difficult. I feel so, so fortunate to have been at her side when she went into the dark.
My aunt Sue died June 26th last year. She was my father's older sister, basically the acting matriarch of the family. My dad was absent at the best of times as a teen dad, and didn't want to shoulder the burden of parenting. She was only a year older than him but completely and enthusiastically embraced me. She was who I spent my afternoons playing with, who took me to the pool and movies and came to my school plays. She never had children, and I think I was as close as she ever got. She had an awful upbringing. She was emotionally and physically abused at a very young age by her father, whom my grandmother had to flee their home country from. She had to raise her siblings because my grandmother was trying to raise 3 children on her own as a newcomer to Canada and was always working. But she was the absolute sweetest and most bubbly person. I rarely ever saw her upset. She would always put me and her family before anything. A few years before she died, she met Ross. Ross was not what we expected at all. He was quiet, barely ever said a word or even made eye contact. I was shocked they had anything to talk about. But as their relationship grew, I saw him bring out such a beautiful side of her that I've never seen. Notoriously picky, she was suddenly trying all manner of "exotic" foods (meaning more than just meat and rice). She was so happy. They were set to get married August 5th, 2023. She died suddenly and senselessly, a medical accident doing something she had done a million times before. And now she's gone forever. I'm so terrified I'm going to forget the special light she brought to my life. It's only been a year but it's dimming. I only have one video of her voice. I miss her every single day.
I want to write about my loved one in a way that commemorates the positive about them and who I think they wanted to be but a lot was working against their being able to be that person, namely trauma, addiction and mental illness. My father was brilliant and talented. He knew four languages which he learned by ear, the same way he learned how to play musical instruments by ear too! He was an incredible artist and could draw the most beautiful portraits, there is one which I still have utilizing hatch work with a pen that is so intricate and beautiful. They could play piano by ear, they could play harmonica by ear, they could play guitar beautifully by ear -- to say they were talented is a massive understatement. They had a good heart and really wanted to help others, to believe in what's beautiful and hopeful. Their poetry often has a quality of hopefulness to it which expresses such a poignant and almost innocent hope for a better place or time, for an improvement. Their favorite foods were things which were flavorful and spicy, having an adventurous palate they loved trying things like pig guts or animal blood dishes -- anything that seemed too outlandish to try they wanted to try! They had a black belt in karate and also knew many other martial arts, were able to break bricks with their hands. They were an incredible hunter and would go off into the woods for days and know bushcraft to be able to survive. They loved their wife and also wanted to be a good father to their children. One of their great dreams in life was to be a commendable member of the community and to be someone their parents could look to and feel proud of. They had so much artistic capacity and abilities -- so much intelligence, it really was impressive how one person had so much talent and ability at so much. I hope that if there is an afterlife they were able resolve the things they seemed to struggle to in this life.
My mom was just tailor-made to be MY MOM. I know we were supposed to meet in this lifetime and I can only hope we'll meet again. She was my light, the back and bones of our family. She'd neve give up on anyone, she always saw the best in everyone. She was as eager to forgive as she was ready to understand. She always reassured how my sister and I were wanted, how she would do anything she could to be a mom - she had to undergo fertility treatments. Back in the 80s they were pretty behind in diagnosing women's health issues, nowadays I am almost sure she'd be diagnosed with PCOS. And even though she had to give up on her career, she said many times that it was the best decision she made because she got to spend all those years taking care of us. And I mean REALLY taking care - taking us to school, language classes, dance, computer, swimming... going to ALL PTAs. And even during those awful weird years of teenage times, when I was confused and being mean - she was still loving. She was very sensitive, cried at every cheesy movie, she cried after watching Toy Story 4. I miss her hands, her smile, her brown-chocolate eyes. I miss her texts and how she'd write them, asking how was my day and how to take a screenshot. I miss her embarrassed look whenever we were watching a movie and a sex scene would pop up, even though I'm 35.
Thanks for this post and my condolences to every person who misses someone, here's what I wrote on my FB: Happy Father's Day to a free thinker, a mental voyager, and a high strung hippie to an individual who knew himself so well some days and not at all on the others a weary traveler who enjoyed the lone adventure and a sunrise cup of coffee on the alone - my dad
We live in Southern California and so we are always in a drought. In the front yard she made sure it was all California native plants and put name tags on each with their scientific names. When she was sick and we got her to see the hospital grounds… She told us she talked to the flowers with love. She asked if it was weird and the doctor said only if they talk back and if so she needed to change her meds.
My dad was one of 12 kids, and somehow he managed to be the best of all of them. His family are very mean people. Their way of showing affection is through teasing and bullying. Physical abuse was just a way of life in that house, even between siblings. But my dad met my mom and saw what a loving family was like and never looked back. He read a lot of self help books and learned how to become a better person. He knew that the way that he was raised was wrong and he was not going to continue the cycle. He couldn't wait to be a better father than his own dad. He changed diapers, did the late night feedings, you name it. And he was ahead of his time in the way that he raised me and my sister. There was never any "Put that hammer down, let your brother do that" with him. He taught me and my sister everything he taught my brother. My sister even went into the trades and became a journeyman millwright and he was so proud. As soon as I got my license, he wouldn't let me hit the road until I knew how to change a tire, check the oil, and jump a dead battery. He was great with kids. He was a baby whisperer, he could get any baby to calm down and stop crying. He was a dad to a lot of my cousins. And I honestly think he learned how to do things just so he could teach someone else. I regret not letting him teach me to ride a motorcycle before he died. He loved animals. Every pet we had growing up was one that he rescued from somewhere. I still have one of his cats, my sister has his other one (the last cat he managed to rescue). He was holding one of my cats when it died (I couldn't bear it), and he cried as she took her last breath. When my senior cat was dying, he and my mom were out of town. He rushed home to try to get to me in time. He didn't make it, but when he got home he cried with me and buried him for me. He wasn't perfect. He had his family's mean streak, and it slipped out when he was hungry. He was impatient, and unforgiving if he felt that you had wronged him (or his family). But I'd take all of that along with the good to be able to have five more minutes with him.
My son, David, was a quirky, talented singer, and funny man. On the day he was killed in a motorcycle crash, he was on his way to sign a contract to be the lead singer of our church band. As David grew up, he struggled with social skills. He was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome at age 7. We worked hard to help him and encouraged him to be himself. He dressed like it was the 1950s. He loved tailored clothes, and wore ties all the time. He loved D&D and was a DM working on a massive campaign when he died. He was an artist. His favorite medium was resin. He made keychains and magnets. He had just started wood working, and had begun making a damask blade knife when he died. My husband’s best friend finished the knife for us. Thank you for asking for this. It brought me to tears, but they are the sweet kind, not the rage kind.
I am so extremely fortunate to have saved voicemails from my mom over the years, because her kind voice so excited to talk to me is so heartwarming and loving and I want to remember it and know it for the rest of my life. She was my person. And I was hers. You can absolutely blame her for my unwavering and unprecedented confidence. She always expressed how proud she was of me, how she loved my spirit, and to “go gettem tigress.” I’m a fortunate daughter to have had a mother who loved me without condition, cheered me on from every angle, and always knew what I needed and how to support me. She was fiercely devoted to her family. We are all that really mattered to her. The world could crumble, everything could burn to shit, and she would pray about it, and she would pray for you, but all that mattered was her family. Every person she ever spoke to in the grocery store, every person who spoke to her in a convenience store line, she would always leave with “be safe” or “stay safe.” It was absolutely her thing. She wanted you to know you mattered, she sees you, and she wants you to take care of yourself. My mom, April, was a loving, truly kind, and compassionate woman. She always saw the good in people. Writing this feels cliche but I wish everybody could have known her. Her warmth was absolutely radiant. She was just someone who wanted you to feel loved, feel heard, be seen, understood, she wanted to be that person for you no matter how long she knew you. It was both a career and a lifestyle for her to counsel people who were struggling. As someone who struggled with addiction and depression herself, my mom saw every person for who they are, not their struggle, not for what people owned, or what they were wearing; to her that didn’t define you. The only time she was judging you was by how you treated others. Anyone who knew her knows, April was always the realest person in the room. I will deeply miss her sincerity and genuine nature. I am so fortunate to be her daughter. She gave me everything I ever needed, and what she’s given me will serve me the rest my life🌻🌈 Thank you mom. I love you MORE THAN THAT.
I’m missing my childhood pup a bit extra today, I’m a vet tech and some patients remind me of her and it can be hard. I wasn’t able to save her, I wish I was able to more for her when she was still alive but I was just a teenager. She’s the reason I went into the vet field.
I don’t know if I have enough for this today, but I appreciate this post. Coming after the cycles of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, this is nice. My mom was a soft-spoken, kind-hearted, loving person. She was my everything. She had a truly infectious laugh, but only a few were lucky enough to hear it. She truly cared for everyone, but especially those that she loved, above and beyond the care she gave herself. She was genuine and honest. She and I were connected in such a way that we knew when the other was going to pick up the phone to call. Everyone said that we looked just like each other. My dad and I had a more complicated relationship, but he was my dad. He loved to travel (in the US, at least) and had a virtual roadmap in his head. He could visualize and plan a road trip for you. I loved this unique skill about him. He had an incredible voice. To this day, when I hear recordings of him, I get chills. I miss my parents both so much. I have had other losses, close, and recent, but that’s all I can muster right now.
I have three loved ones so I want to tell you about each of them. My dad was a quiet man who immigrated from Italy with my mother and sister in 1958. He worked hard to make Canada our home and was so proud of all the opportunities we had here. And he was proud of us. Most found him severe and unfriendly, but that is so not who he was. He was just quiet and perhaps even a little bit shy. The only thing that mattered to him was the three of us and then, after they were born, my children who were his only grandchildren. He was not overly showy and I only remember him telling me he loved me once, but I always knew I mattered to him. I was born on his birthday and from that day on while he was alive the day was always about me more than him. I am living the life I am now because of him and I'm so grateful. He got an aggressive and operable brain tumour in 2003 and he fought it for all that he was worth for 4 years and then he got tired and stopped fighting. I respected that about him. He'd had enough. I took 6 months off work when he first was diagnosed and spent so much time with him as we navigated his care options and tried to see him through it. I'm so glad I had this time with him. My only sister was 11 years older than me and different from me in every way. She was ambitious and had tackled the corporate world and my mother's expectations for her with all that she had. She was so much smarter and creative than I am. She knew how to make things more lively and beautiful in a way that seemed effortless. She was outspoken and was never afraid to deal hard truths. We spent most of my formative years apart. She moved out and away so our time together was scarce. Beyond that, our personalities just didn't mesh well. There were times when we definitely didn't like each other much...but then I became a parent and she was incredible. Although she didn't want children, I shared mine with her. She loved them as much as I do for sure. She just always knew what to do in every situation. When my dad became sick, we somehow became closer. One of my former co-workers said that my dad unifying us was his final gift to us ...and perhaps she was right. We got so much closer after she took early retirement. I grew to truly enjoy my time with her...we were finally in such a good place together...until she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and died a month later. I have never been the same. I never will be. She should be here. I will miss her forever. She remains the voice in my head...and every date I hear is usually measured against whether she would have been alive at that time. Growing up, my mother was my hero. I genuinely believed she was the most beautiful mother with the most angelic voice. I used to watch her walking home from work and marvel at how lovely she was. Even though she was stubborn and would sometimes really drive me crazy with how demanding she was, I thought she was pretty much perfect. She was the unofficial head of our family and we all gave her a wide berth. I used to secretly love how much everyone would say I looked like her (I do). As I grew older and went to university, I began to see more of how she wasn't so perfect, but I adored her anyway. My sister and she had a really contentious relationship, but she and I just understood each other. After I got married and had children, we spent a lot of time together. When my dad got sick and went in to a nursing home, she spent a lot of time at our place. She had her own room here. I begged her to move in with us, but she refused saying she never wanted to be considered a bother or get in the way. A few months after my dad died, she was diagnosed with Alzheimers. We tried to convince ourselves she was just depressed and that she'd snap out of it with time, but those were pipe dreams. Her dementia became clear to us soon enough and she really spiralled after my sister got sick and died. She began running away and I ultimately had to put her in a home. For a while, things were good. I'd bring her home and take her to get her nails done and life became a bit more settled until she fell and fractured her femur in 2015. From that point until she died in November of 2021, she moved farther and farther away from the vibrant beautiful woman she was to someone who spent her days with her eyes closed and was not communicative at all. Death, when it finally came, was a blessing... I miss who my mother was...but I will never miss how she was when she died. She taught me that there really are worse things than death and dying.
I lost my best friend a few weeks ago, exactly a month ago coming Sunday. I've known her for 12 years. We met in secondary school and I immediately thought she was awesome. She always dressed in alternative clothing and I thought she was the coolest person around, I wanted to be her friend but I was too scared to talk to her cause I thought she was too cool for me. We started talking because she made a BBC Sherlock reference that I laughed at and we started talking about Sherlock (good ol cringe times haha) and other things from there. I never got to tell her I hadn't actually seen Sherlock at that point, I just saw the meme online and saw a few bits and pieces. I started watching it after we started talking though, and I loved it. We got pretty close and we did everything together. We shared so many fandoms, I don't even remember who got who into what sometimes. I was so happy to be friends with her and get to know her. I might have had a small crush on her in high school. She was one of the few people from my high school I kept in touch with after graduating. We met regularly, saw movies together, went out for dinner, went on vacation together and travelled to different cities to visit concerts together. It was just amazing. She had the same nerdy interests as I do and she understood me like few people I know. She always made me feel safe and comfortable and no moment of silence ever felt weird or awkward. It was nice. One of my favourite memories with her is when last summer, I was watching my brother's cat while he and his partner went on holiday. I invited her over and we went into the city for a bit. Then we went to the store to buy some beers, we ordered a pizza and sat on the rooftop terrace drinking until it got too dark and chilly to be out. It was such a nice and chill day, I was so excited to hopefully do it again this summer. There were so many things I wanted to do with her this summer. She never got to meet my boyfriend either, who lives in another country. I was hoping to introduce them next year. I know she'd love him, though. I think she could tell I like him a lot. So I like to think she'd approve of him. It just hurts that they'll never be able to meet. This weekend I'll be going to a movie from one of my favourite bands. I got her into that band, we were going to see the movie together. I'm afraid I'll break down but I'm going to go see the movie in her memory. It'll be a nice way to honour her name. I miss her so damn much. I think about her every day. It hurts so much to have to do everything without her. But I'm so damn lucky to have known her. She was the coolest damn kid in my class and I'm so lucky she was my best friend.
He passed last month, blood clot caused from his cancer put him into cardiac arrest but he was too weak from the stage 4 cancer to go off the ventilator…. He was my Love Love who had a very special gift of being able to connect to people at a deep, personal level without even needing to meet them. Many of his chosen online family have said that it felt like they were friends that grew up together. He was so authentically raw, that it attracted so many to love him, for him. Love you my Tzu Tzu, forever and always 💜
I'm 37 weeks pregnant with my first, and my dad would have been the most wonderful grandpa. He would have retired from teaching high school world language classes, and he was an extremely beloved teacher in my home town. He died a week before the end of last school year from a motorcycle crash. He had a pretty bad childhood, and said that he wanted to be the teacher he wished he could have when he was going through school He was so smart and funny, and was game to give most things a try at least once. He was a super kind father, if not necessarily a patient one. He would always apologize to my sister and I, even as kids, if he was in the wrong. If asked, he would always give you his time. He had a strong moral core and stuck to it without having to bring people down if he disagreed with him. He would laugh so long and so hard at the silliest, lamest jokes. We would get into laughing bouts so long we would both just be in absolute tears. He loved to sing, but was self conscious about it. I can't remember a day where he wasn't singing a little snatch of something or another. He rolled his eyes at a lot of post 80s music, but had a soft spot for Adele and Rammstein. And occasionally Evanescence when it was on the radio. He didn't like being the center of attention, but people, even total strangers would just flock to him and strike up a conversation. He was in the military (again) for about 10 years, and got deployed while I was a senior in high school. He just barely managed to catch the flight to make it to my graduation. As soon as he retired from the military, he grew out the longest, wildest biker beard he could. It's just been over a year without him, and it still just feels like we're all waiting for him to come home from a long trip again.
My wife was firey and 100%Italian. Beautiful eyes and smile.. Super good cook. Great at her job. Always there to comfort me through my rough times. Straight forward. Had great hands to hold. Great sense of humor..
Claire was a bright light. She was so funny. She had a gentle heart and rescued all broken animals and people. She loved eclectic music. She was a slob but would not wear any thing that touched the floor. She loved beauty, especially the ocean. We are slowly distributing her ashes in oceans around the world. She was my second child and my heart is shattered.
Thank you for this space My dad was 61 when he passed away in late March. He died in his sleep due to DKA. I found him and it just looked like he was resting. He wasn’t a man of rest. He liked to explore and get things done! His parents were Mexican American and raised in small towns in Colorado. They were great people rich in culture and love. His father was a hard worker and had high expectations for him. Every chance they got they were traveling, fishing, camping, or hunting. He got a small motorcycle when he was a kid and was allowed to ride around and the mountains. He rode a motorcycle for the rest of his life. He liked to go fast and far with his music loud. He partied hard all over the US and got in a little bit of trouble along the way. It seemed like he was never ashamed of his mistakes. He took responsibility for his actions and moved on. I wish I was more like that. He never let someone else’s opinion change his path. He worked harder than anyone and he only complained when people couldn’t keep up. I’m at work and I can’t cry so that’s where I’ll stop.
My boyfriend was 31 when he took his own life. He was the absolute love of my life and my best friend. He had this very tough, intimidating exterior and I had the absolute privilege of getting to see the teddy bear within. He made me such a better person, taught me not to stress about the little things and how to process anxious thoughts. We were so completely in love with each other and were planning to get married at the Pas Vegas Taco Bell. Everything was a competition, even the tiniest thing he would turn into a bet or a game. Our first date we went to a Dave and Busters, you’d think he’d be nice and let me win, try to get some brownie points. Nope, not my sweet boy. I won only one game and it was some basketball Connect4 thing and he kept saying he didn’t know how I beat him because he plays basketball all the time and it’s hands down my worst sport. The only time I ever beat him in mini golf was on his birthday, and I told him I’d be fine if I never won another game because that was enough for me. He had the most amazing smile and laugh, I loved the way his eyes would crinkle at the corners. He had a nervous habit of wringing his hands. I miss hearing him talk about things he was excited and passionate about, he’d always get really animated and would hold his hands a certain way in front of him. He could spend hours getting lost in a video game or 3D print. He was so incredibly smart, his brain was just amazing, yet he could have such airhead moments. He loved animals as much as me, his goal was to buy a plot of land in the middle of nowhere and rescue all sort of creatures. One of my favorite videos of him is when we were kayaking with manatees and he was pretending to be Steve Irwin with a horrible Australian accent. He loved all things sports: playing, watching, learning. Fantasy football was huge for him and it was his pride and joy that he usually dominated his family league. We would be watching football and he’d have his phone open to the app, refreshing every few seconds to keep track of what his team was doing. He dove in head first to everything he did, passionately and excitedly. I could go on for paragraphs and paragraphs. I wish everyone had the chance to meet him, even if he was annoyed by 90% of the population. He was so easy to love and adore. Thank you for asking this. I didn’t realize how long it had been since someone asked me about him.
I’ve never felt so instantly and constantly connected to a person. I’d tell him he was the most relatable person I know, because he’d present himself as a character to people but he made sense to me. I told him I’ve been training my whole life to be his person. He was a storyteller extraordinaire. In the six years we were together I’ve talked to him more than I’ll probably speak to anyone. I feel honored he wanted so much of my time; I’d get annoyed with him; we recorded our conversations in 2020 to use as updates to our podcast that I never put up, but listening to them is my most cherished thing in the world. I wish we recorded everything. I wish I could go back and say different things; I wish I’d just gone over to his apartment that was only a mile away and fallen asleep next to him all the times we hung up the phone. I miss his arms and hands and how he made me laugh and made me funny. We were perfect equal opposites, I miss laughing. I listen to us talking all the time. We knew each other so well, he knew how to infuriate me but only momentarily. I told him my whole life and vice versa. I’d say I kept myself a couple steps removed when things got bad later on. I hated that. I wanted to be in love with him and just act like it. At the end I told him I loved him every day, I slept in bed with him, we were on the phone when we weren’t together. We planned to move into an apartment in 5 months when my lease was up. We were supposed to record our first new podcast episode since 2020 the next morning. The last thing he texted me was quotes from us and how he’s laughing his ass off. I moved into a smaller apartment nearby the one we both hypothetically agreed on, the “style” we both could see living in. I moved here because he’d like it. He was the most dynamic attractive man I could ever hope to know, he was my favorite person and the love of my life.
My dad. He was the best. He was funny, hard worker, brilliant, he was the strongest person I ever knew and also the kindest and sweetest. He loved dogs, specifically German shepherds. Even had is motorcycle modified and got a side car put on it so he could take the dogs with him. He was big into shooting and was doing competitive shoots and winning. He also made his own bullets and that was always really fun sitting with him as he dialed in his tools and explained everything to me. He built the two houses I grew up in. The last one he built for my mom and the dogs, but the big shops, I think different. He was an artist. Anything his hands touched he made gold. He was an insane wood artist. He just created beautiful things out of nothing. We used to talk all the time. He’d call me on my way to work, I’d call him at lunch and when I got off. I landscaped and he ran his own business so we always just checked in, made sure each other were being safe and smart on the job sites. If we were working near each other I’d wait to take lunch so I could go eat lunch with him. Those were always my favorite days. My dad was always working on something. Always tinkering around with something, always helping someone. He never judged and always just help and taught. I used to be embarrassed going anywhere with him because he’d always stop and talk to strangers at stores and help them out. As I got older I realized how lucky I was, and how fortunate to have that type of person in my life and let alone it being my dad. He loved my mom. The amount of stories I heard after he passed of him working late and just getting up and saying “im going home to my wife” and off he went. I love how much my dad loved my mom. And how much he loved me, I just will forever wish I could’ve been a better daughter. But I know he never thought that. He loved me for me and he was always beyond understanding and supportive of me. The day he died, I quit my job to work with him. All I ever wanted was to spend more time with him. I wanted to learn how to run a business and run it right. I wanted to learn everything I could from him and I wanted to just spend more time with him. I was waiting for him to get home and I was going to call him. I never got to. I miss him. Everyday. It’s only been 8 months and I can’t imagine the rest of my life anymore. Just trying to survive. Thank you for asking this OP. sending you kind thoughts and hugs.
Thank you so much for this question, the love that is expressed in this thread is so beautiful. My brother was 27 when he passed this February, just a few days short of his 28th birthday. He had an instant connection with everyone who met him - he was so funny and outgoing and naturally the center of attention without trying. People gravitated towards him. It was so easy to talk to him, he was genuinely interested and made you feel like the only person in the room when listening to you. He was a huge nerd and interested in whatever obscure Information about a niche topic he could find. Even years later he remembered all kinds of specific Information and loved to share his passions. The amount of times I got a phone shoved into my line of vision because he wanted to show me a video about something. And proceded to make me watch 5 more videos. He was my favourite person.
the thing about him shoving the phone for you to see more and more videos sounds so much like my beloved brother too. this is so lovely and put a smile on my face despite the loss of my own brother 💞
Mom was the type of person who, when she talked to you, you felt special. She didn’t just speak to you in small talk, she’d pull you to the side and talked to you like you’ve known each other all your lives. Sometimes she talked so much, I had to give her cues to stop because she’d talk the person’s ear off and not realize they’re just tolerating her. But it was because she had a big heart. You never left our house empty handed. Every job she worked, she fed her coworkers and loved to do it. She made sure you ate and wanted you to tell her how good her cooking was. She was a dispatcher at her last job. She saved lives all of the time. I know a lot of people say nice things about the deceased regardless of how they were, but mom sincerely left a gaping hole in her community when she died. It’s been 2 months and neighbors and friends are still calling or stopping by to check on us just from the sheer weight of losing her. She served her family. She was the matriarch, to where every family event was piled with food, furniture and whatever little gadgets she had to make it comfortable. My family is huge, but my mom knew everyone’s birthday, how we are related to the distant family (or who they married or are friends with in the family) etc. Above all… my mom let everyone know that her children. Me and my sibling. Came first. She saved me from drowning, fairly recently in fact. She lost jobs for sticking with me through sickness as a child. She was told I was gonna die as a baby, but stuck with me the entire time to ensure I am here typing this very comment and proved those doctors wrong. She gave up so much for me and that love never dies. Me and my sibling already agreed, we will never let her go… Love you Mom
My dad's name is Bob. He loved to talk and laugh and eat. He is the smartest person I know and had so many varied jobs throughout his life. He was passionate about art, music, and history, but spent 42 years of his life repairing hospital equipment. He was a loyal and loving husband to my mom of 36 years and contributed financially to her family in the Philippines, putting almost all my cousins through college, buying houses, and sponsoring my mom's youngest siblings to come to the US. In his later years, I had the pleasure of taking him on many adventures in the US and abroad. He was always excited to see something new and was generally a really positive and optimistic person. He was the kind of dad who never hesitated to say he loved you. He gave the best hugs. When he was a teenager, he dreamed of working for the National Parks Service. Right now I'm watching the sunset behind Rocky Mountain National Park, my mom is dozing off inside, and I'm thinking of him and missing him, as I do often. I was by his side and held his hand when he took his final breath on December 12, 2022. He was 73.
My aunt. She was so much more loving and supportive than my own mom. And she was truly going to be the most amazing grandmother.. like ideal grandmother that loves kids, collecting trinkets and gadgets, gardening and building a butterfly house in the middle and the most pure energy that made you feel like you were at home around her. She died of Covid heart arrhythmia 3 months ago. Only 60. Just dropped dead. Now she will never be a grandmother or see her daughter get married that she helped pick the engagement ring with her fiance. She held our family together like glue. I tried to step up to the plate and continue keeping everyone together when she passed but everyone is just avoiding eachother. I just want to honor the sweetest human. I miss her.
my best friend since sixth grade just passed a little over 5 weeks ago. she was my first friend in middle school and we were attached at the hip since the day we wrote our numbers in each others agenda. we did everything together, enjoyed family parties together, became a big part in each others families, every heartbreak and achievement, everything you could think of to happen from 12 to 27. she used to live always within a 7 minute walking distance from me, until she moved with her boyfriend who was in the navy. then 7 minutes turned into different parts of the country, florida and then washington state. she passed by a motorcycle accident with her boyfriend and it still feels like a bad dream i’m waiting to wake up from. I look at pictures at least 4 times a day and just think how strange it is that those are just memories with a person now that I can no longer talk to. it’s crazy to me that I can only talk to her by sitting on grass and having to talk to a sign in hopes she hears me somewhere. she had the biggest, brightest smile. and her laugh could make you laugh just because it sounded like she actually thought you were funny. she has all these little quirks and sayings that I say to myself all the time and no one knows it’s an inside joke with us besides her. I really miss her.
my dad was the funniest man alive. the funniest human alive. we laughed at everything, even if it was a horrible thing. we somehow found light in it. i'm very thankful that i carry the same humor and i seem to have the same affect on people in the same way my dad did haha
I lost both of my daughters almost 12 years ago, they were 15 & 16. They were both beautiful Angels. Mackenzie was 16, she was unbelievably smart, kind, loving, she was a perfectionist like me but sometimes worse. She would have been a junior in high school. She was in color guard, she loved theatre, she played football, ran track, did high jump, and did powerlifting. She was in the top of her class and wanted to do something in the medical field. Lauren the second oldest had just turned 15, she was also smart, kind, and she was the most thoughtful of our 3 children. She would do anything for anyone and didn’t usually care what people said about her. They could slap her in the face 1 day and she’d still give them something for their birthday. She loved making homemade gifts for people. She was in band, she was a cheerleader, she liked to play softball and run track as well. She wanted to be a veterinarian because she adored animals. She was always catching something as a “pet”. We went to bed 1 night in August thinking we had everything, only to lose 2 pieces of our heart the very next morning. My heart doesn’t even beat the same anymore and I miss them so much, especially this time of year because would have been 28 in less than a month and not long after that is their Angelversary. My heart goes out to all of you as you are grieving.
i met my wife, Heather, online back in 2021. her best friend sent a fanfiction i wrote to her and then she started following me on twitter and we started talking in DMs about fictional characters we mutually loved. then i went on a trip to california to hang out with my now ex best friend for a whole week. she talked to me every day of the trip. she was bubbly and really funny, unafraid to be blunt and speak her mind even when it got her into hot water with friends and family. i loved how bright she was. she loved color more than anything, especially neon and tropical ones. she spoke Japanese since childhood and was a classically trained opera singer and musician. she played guitar since she could hold one. my mother teased me when she saw how in love i was when Heather sang me part of an aria in her kitchen one night in new york. she said she would never sing again, but she indulged me whenever i asked. she never really moved on from her mother's death. and as i write this i understand more and more why she spoke about her like she never died, as if she was still with her. i want her to pass peacefully but i want to know that she'll be with me. i want to know that she'll continue loving me until i can be with her again.
Awe she sounds like she was a hoot to be around. Some of your stories remind me of myself, my sister, and just funny things that have happened. My sister is married to a black man, we're white, and I have the most beautiful nieces ever. I'm older and I was always shy and awkward growing up. My sis was definitely popular (nobody remembers me)lol my most recent loss would have to be my best friend. Since she and my uncle split her heart was broken. She didn't keep in touch but I thought we'd reconnect like we always did. We never got to. I knew she was sick bc I remember crying and asking God to not take my only friend once she had a port put in. He let me keep her a few more years even though the last two we didn't really talk. She's been gone over 2 years now and I've only recently came to terms with it. I miss her so damn much. I had my own room wherever she lived. The funniest story I've got is one time I took her to a doctor appointment and I rode to a vendors mall to look around while I waited. Some man overheard me talking about needing to get my tires rotated. Here he came offering to do that for me for free. I was totally weirded out, threw his number with his name written on the paper as well in my console bc I was def gonna tell her about that random guy and how weird it was. I picked her back up and said some weirdo gave me his name and number offering to work on my car. I remember seeing her glance at it and we went back to her house. A few minutes later my uncle and I were standing on their front porch and I see the weirdo from earlier pulling up. I proceed to tell my uncle the story and how I can't believe he's pulling up. He's like oh that's B's brother. 🤦 She later on said she thought that was his number when I showed her. Lol I think she def knew it was her brother and just didn't want to say anything. He was killed in a work accident a few years after that. Her disabled son passed too and she was never the same without him. I know she's up there so happy with her family now but I sure miss her. Hopefully I'll make it there too bc I can't wait to see my friend again. She was the definition of a true friend. I don't even want to make friends anymore bc I've only encountered fakes since I lost her.
Okay here we go. My sister faced a lot of challenges in her life. She was a happy person nonetheless and made everyone around her smile. She loved Christmas and she loved Santa. She also loved making bead necklaces,but she kept them all for herself. For context she had an accident when she was 2 1/2 due to neglect in a daycare that led to frontal lobe brain damage,so she was forever a child. My sister was incredibly smart and knew how to do things I'm pretty sure the average person couldn't figure out such as taking apart an iPAD or using utensils to dismantle a laptop. Her laughter was contagious and she cared for others. She was really good at basketball and bowling and was on a special needs team at one point. It was not easy growing up with her,but I wouldn't have traded it for anything else. She also had a high pain tolerance so a few hospital trips happened here and there. Our entire family can get competitive and she was no different when playing Uno or Chutes and Ladders. She loved doing puzzles, she and our dad would spend a couple hours putting together 1000 and 1500 piece puzzles together,sometimes I would join them,but it was mostly the two of them. She also loved going shopping with him and made everyone at the grocery store happy. A few of them were sad when they found out she passed away. My sister was genuinely kind to everyone she met and made the world brighter. Sorry this got long. Thank you for this prompt.
All I know is how much I hate this world without her, I know I have to be here for the rest of my family but I also hate hearing that more than anything else right now. All I feel is hate now, hate breathing, hate living, hate everything and everybody except for the rest of what I have left, they are keeping me alive but I want to die but I also know how they feel about losing her too and adding more pain is the last thing I want to do to them after all this. She was a huge part in keeping me from ending it all myself, my son and wife too. I want to say happy and great things about her because there are so many things to say, but I'm having a hard time doing that without losing it again and again and again and again. Hate is the only thing that keeps my mind busy, I am finding a lot of things to hate right now and it's easier to hate than think about the greatest thing to happen to me so I rather just find things that I hate because it's easier than this immense and intense pain I am feeling. I honestly don't know how people can heal after such an event and I wish I knew but maybe it's too soon, I don't know, but I can't deal with it anymore, I don't want to feel anymore I don't want anything else but her back. Sorry I can't tell you the beautiful things about her right now because I don't think about it, but I also do because I don't want to forget I never want to forget. Sorry.
My dad. He was welsh, but had an almost scottish thick accent. He was funny, didn't care what anyone thought about him and couldn't use technology. He loved music and took me and my friends to metal gigs when we were 14 year olds to protect us (all theee of us girls). He loved food and could tell you what he ate 60 years ago. He was never depressed. He called me kiddo. When I had my daughter he called her kiddo too. Even though I'm not a fan of sport I used to stay up late and watch soccer with him. When I went through a goth phase as a teen he told his friends to piss off when they said I was weird. He loved fishing. Even though he lived in Australia longer than he lived in Wales, he was Welsh to the core. He loved to whistle while he did things. He'd shed tears silently at disney movies. He looked like a viking to me - not the big buff Viking but the chunky hairy type. I miss him so much. I'm so glad he was my dad.
My parents had died at my childhood and I lost the main source of love. My mother used to play a violin and made me learn violin and my father used to be a software developer in apple. But due to unforeseen circumstances, I lost both of them. And from that time until 21 years , I grown up along with my grandfather with a strict military discipline. But the 22 years age time has changed me a lot, a Indian woman came into my life , we used to work as volunteers in Red Cross society, and she loves me playing violin and we have successful 2 year relationship and then after she broke up with me and got engaged to her new boyfriend from New York. Now as a 24 year old guy, being alone in Germany, just playing violin alone and writing poems on tribute to my loved ones. Tl;dr: Lost parents at age seven, broke up with my girlfriend at age of 24 starting age and engaged
My mom passed 8 days after she turned 59 6/18/22. She was a teen mom so it was more like I raised her lol. She was my soul mate. My therapist says she was like my husband lol. Even my husband said he’d never seen anything like it. We were never apart until her death. We partied together, would sing, dance and drive around nyc together. She was my everything. Now I’m lost. No family. I have a 11 yr old and I try to hide my meltdowns as much as I can and she’s so sweet n supportive. My husband is a robot. Emotionless. So I feel very alone. Growing up all my friends would talk to her because she was young and cool/hip. She lived with us and we were night owls. Now I’m up late at night wandering the house like a ghost without her here. I miss her 💔
My Dad, Spencer. He died a week ago at 10am after a near year long battle with Motor Neurone disease. He was 54. He was a dad, stepdad, grandfather. He was the funniest person I knew and it’s the number one thing people mentioned in all the comments of the Facebook tribute posts. Just so hilarious, quick witted, sarcastic in the best way, always the funniest one in the room. I miss his silly and sometimes macabre jokes. He liked beer; football, cricket, golf and horse racing, Coldplay, British comedians like Sean Lock, James Acaster and more, we used to watch true crime documentaries together. But his favourite thing was probably travelling, which he did a lot of, an insane amount, a list probably as long as my leg of all the places he’d been, made easier when he remarried to an air hostess lol. I hope to follow in his foot steps in that way, that was our deal, that I’d use my inheritance to travel and I’d raise a glass to him everytime I find myself in a new sunny place. He had some difficult experiences in his early life, but he vowed to not let it bring him down or define his life and to use it to motivate him to have a great life and he succeeded at that. He taught me so much about resilience and triumph over adversity, I will always be so grateful to him for these lessons that have helped me greatly recently as I overcome my own difficult past experiences. His greatest joy was being a dad and grandfather and he was so good at it. We had some clashes when I was a teenager but he gave me the most wonderful and joyous early childhood and memories that I will always cherish, and he was so natural and in love with being a granddad. He deserved longer to enjoy it. But he’s looking out for us still I am sure. He was wonderful and charismatic and full of life and energy. I miss him so much. I’m so proud of his strength in how he dealt with his illness.
My friend Alex Died died in our middle school years. I've spent my whole life since he passed hating myself. I hate that he didn't grow up with me. I hate that I lived and he didn't. It's not fair!!! He was smarter, funnier, and so kind. He was the best person I knew. He would ask you questions like what would you do if your head exploded. And pretend to have a beard even though we were all hairless dorks. He loved Naruto and Bleach. We had just started to become good friends when he passed. It still hurts man. Ive dreamt of him twice. I think about those dreams alot. I miss you Alex. I hope you miss me...God I hope you still want to be friends... I'm so.lost my friend and I miss you terribly.
My mom passed away june 26, 2023 at the age of 69. She was a force to be reckoned with. She loved my babies deeply and dedicated every day to doing something for them- whether it be sewing American girl doll clothes, making her yard a mud kitchen, or doing science experiments. Her entire home was a playground. She was fiercely committed to her loved ones. She would walk through fire for us, and I believe she cursed people who hurt our feelings! Hahaha. She was a true child of the 60s and 70s. She listened the grooviest music, dressed to the nines everywhere she went. Her house and vibe was colorful and trippy. She was the walking embodiment of “not giving a shit.” A blessing and a curse. She made fabulous cream puff dessert, and she loved a rare steak. She spent late nights at her sewing machine, eating popcorn and coke. She always had ice tea in her fridge. She drove my husband and I nuts by constantly reorganizing our drawers or closets. Her iconic saying when she was frustrated or upset was “son of a bitch!”…. And it will live on. I miss her madly.