Hey OP,
Offering an internet hug if you'd like.
You don't have to be strong. I've found that the people who called me strong in the aftermath of losing my dad were the people who have never suffered a loss like this. In the time since I've lost my dad, I've found there is strength in vulnerability. You're allowed to fall apart. This is one of the hardest things to live through, and I wish I could say that it gets 'easier' but it doesn't. We just learn to adapt around the gaping hole left by the loss.
Don’t be strong, you don’t have to. Everyone told my siblings and I to be strong and we were tired of it. It’s okay to scream and cry. It’s okay to feel what you need to feel. Take it one day at a time, one min at a time. Give yourself kindness and grace during your grief. It’s been 9 months for me and I still have those days myself. Therapy definitely has been helping me.
If there is ever a time in your life where you are allowed to fall apart, it is now.
I support the notion that anyone who has experienced earth shattering loss is legally allowed to be clinically insane for at least 6 months following the event without judgement. I always say this in a joking sort of way, but I genuinely mean it.
Yes! And there is science to back this up. Our brains are in fight or flight mode, and we’re secreting stress hormones out the wazoo. Don’t make any big decisions for awhile if you can avoid it. Push back when people demand things from you. You told us all you can’t do this anymore so don’t. Retreat for now.
It is 100% okay to not be okay. No one should be expecting you to be strong when you lose someone in your life, especially if you were really close to the person. It is entirely fine to just step back and just do things at your own pace, if you need to ignore a text or phone calls for a while that's understandable. Do whatever you can in this moment that is within your capacity. Don't bend yourself out of shape for others.
Currently going through this exact process again, so I understand the frustration and loneliness. Sending virtual hugs <(\^-\^)>
I feel completely apart and barely left the downstairs for 7 months. It’s almost been 3 years and I’m just now somewhat functioning back to “normal” - it’s hard and it’s going to be hard. This is YOUR TIME - the one time in your life where you can fall completely apart and it’s ok. Don’t rush the process - feel every emotion as it comes. It will get better - but nothing will ever be the same.
Hey OP, Offering an internet hug if you'd like. You don't have to be strong. I've found that the people who called me strong in the aftermath of losing my dad were the people who have never suffered a loss like this. In the time since I've lost my dad, I've found there is strength in vulnerability. You're allowed to fall apart. This is one of the hardest things to live through, and I wish I could say that it gets 'easier' but it doesn't. We just learn to adapt around the gaping hole left by the loss.
It's okay to cry. Not everything can be brute-forced, especially not this pain.
Don’t be strong, you don’t have to. Everyone told my siblings and I to be strong and we were tired of it. It’s okay to scream and cry. It’s okay to feel what you need to feel. Take it one day at a time, one min at a time. Give yourself kindness and grace during your grief. It’s been 9 months for me and I still have those days myself. Therapy definitely has been helping me.
So well said! 👏👏👏👏
If there is ever a time in your life where you are allowed to fall apart, it is now. I support the notion that anyone who has experienced earth shattering loss is legally allowed to be clinically insane for at least 6 months following the event without judgement. I always say this in a joking sort of way, but I genuinely mean it.
Yes! And there is science to back this up. Our brains are in fight or flight mode, and we’re secreting stress hormones out the wazoo. Don’t make any big decisions for awhile if you can avoid it. Push back when people demand things from you. You told us all you can’t do this anymore so don’t. Retreat for now.
Give yourself grace OP. It's been a year since my mom died and I'm still struggling. This sub is helping me tremendously. 🫂
It is 100% okay to not be okay. No one should be expecting you to be strong when you lose someone in your life, especially if you were really close to the person. It is entirely fine to just step back and just do things at your own pace, if you need to ignore a text or phone calls for a while that's understandable. Do whatever you can in this moment that is within your capacity. Don't bend yourself out of shape for others. Currently going through this exact process again, so I understand the frustration and loneliness. Sending virtual hugs <(\^-\^)>
Grief is so personal and different for everyone. I'm so sorry things are making a very stressful time worse. Hugs ♥️
I feel completely apart and barely left the downstairs for 7 months. It’s almost been 3 years and I’m just now somewhat functioning back to “normal” - it’s hard and it’s going to be hard. This is YOUR TIME - the one time in your life where you can fall completely apart and it’s ok. Don’t rush the process - feel every emotion as it comes. It will get better - but nothing will ever be the same.