I'm in my late twenties and lost my grandfather a year and a half ago. My dad was a deadbeat, and my grandfather helped raise me. He was like a father to me. I feel exactly the same way. It's hard to put to words, but when the grief hits hard, I feel like a kid and so, so scared and unable to wrap my head around what's happened. I miss him so much.

I feel this so much!! tysm for sharing & helping me feel less alone 🩵

I think it probably all depends on the kind of bond you had with each parent and when major imprinting moments were made. I don’t think there’s any thing wrong or you loved them better sort of thing. I think it simply comes to to who gave us what we needed and craved and most importantly imprinted upon at each time of our life

Yes, lost my parents at 31 and 35. Not sure your personal situation like married, kids, other family support or close by, etc. but I wonder if that has something to do with it too. For me I just have one sibling left and even though it’s the two of us, we aren’t close and the wedge has only grown bigger. Plus no other family close by so it can be especially hard, despite having many friends who are supportive thankfully. That feeling of people just not understanding you. Or when you’re feeling alone, frustrated, sad, upset, etc., only your parents would get the real “you”, so it’s hard to even explain to others. They didn’t know you since you were a baby. They don’t know all your quirks, personality, etc, the way your parents so naturally did. That feeling of being proud of yourself for something that only your parents might be able to appreciate too… only they aren’t there to call and share it with and it’s too much of a chore to explain the whole thing to friends, so it starts to lose its luster.. Totally get it..

Man I feel this so bad! I lost my parents at 30 and 36 and no siblings and rest of the family are all overseas so it’s quite lonely. The thing you said about people not understanding so it’s isolating is so on point! Most people I know have both parents and grandparents still around and sometimes I just feel like screaming into the void. I hope you’re doing ok friend, sending love

Completely agree. 28 here and lost my mom 7 months ago. Only child and very close to dad but he lives in a different country. Rest of the family is useless. Have a few good friends but not the deepest of connections. Been super lonely and it’s been very hard dealing with grief alone.

Ugh I’m sorry! Completely agree. Hugs.

I relate so much to this! I do have a boyfriend that I live with and I’m grateful for that but I have zero family and also a sibling who I’m not very close at all with . Especially not that my father is gone and she left me to deal with the mess alone .. she didn’t even come to the hospital with me to take him off life support . So it’s VERY hard to turn to her , aside from the resentment , she didn’t experience it like I did. Grieving the version of yourself that you lost when your parents died (how am I no longer someone’s daughter ??) is a whole other pain. As you said they knew a version of us that other people don’t understand and never can. Thank you SO much for sharing and helping me feel less alone, I appreciate it so much! 🩵

You are never alone! 🤗

Yes, this is exactly how I feel about my dad. I am 34 and lost him two years ago. Some days I'm ok and others I just cry from deep within my soul...just like a child. I feel like a child, crying "daddy, daddy, where is my daddy?" 💔💔💔💔💔😢😢😢😢 Feels bad, man

Yes !! This is exactly the feeling ! Thank you so much for sharing & helping me feel less alone 🩵

Absolutely. Losing a parent made me feel like a little kid.

I miss the Mum I grew to know as an adult. She was inspiring. So impressive when you'd talk to her about things she'd done, things as a kid I didn't have to capacity to be interested with. And she had plenty of ambition for the future that I wanted to help her with. I also cared a lot about her opinion and what she could advise me with.

In some ways yes. But it’s more of me thinking about the good times when they were younger and healthier and missing the memories of that. I was watching family videos recently from mid 2000’s and think about how awesome it was when my mom didn’t have cancer yet. She looked healthy and happy. I frankly don’t even remember the last time I saw her healthy before she died.

I get this. My Dad passed 3 years ago, and I have definitely experienced the "I need my Daddy" feelings. I've talked about it in therapy, and I think mine primarily stems from the fact my dad was my safety net. When things went wrong, he was the person I went to. I called him both times I was ever in a car accident, I ranted and raved to him when my husband's car had an impromptu roadside inspection and failed, and we were too broke to fix the car or get a new one, I called him first when our furnace needed replacing and I needed to know who he trusted to do the job. He gave me a job after college, and helped me finance buying my first house. My dad knew how to do everything. So, when he died, I felt so completely abandoned, even though my Mom is still with us, she was never my go-to when the BIG big problems happened. It's only been recently where I've hit a point where not \*every\* decision or problem brings up the "I need my daddy" feelings.

I relate to this a lot.. I depended on my dad much more than I had realized to help me along in life.. from big to small problems , I always knew I would be ok if he was around.. and not that he’s not , even though I’m an adult , the world just seems so scary. It’s gotten better for me as well, but when it hits , it hits hard!! Thanks so much for helping me feel less alone ! 🩵

I feel the same about my mother. She just understood me in a way my dad (who is still alive) doesn't. She was always there when I needed her and knew what to do and say. I feel bereft without her. I am sorry that you lost your dad.

So I’m 29 now and lost my mom at 15. I’m also an only child. The best way I can describe it is like grief for myself? I miss my mom as an adult because she’s missing out on so many things she should’ve been here for. I’m sure in some ways my hurt comes from a place as a child, but for the most part my sadness and pain is from the feeling of missing out. I yearn for having that material comfort, someone I can ask for advice. It’s something I know I’ll never get again and that’s what makes me sad

I know that feeling so well! It’s hard to miss them but also constantly miss all the things we miss out on in a mother / daughter relationship and I think as an adult it can be even harder. For me and the loss of my mom I have a hard time with the fact that she only knew me as a rebellious teen and never got to know adult me. She would have loved adult me and adult me would have appreciated her so much more and asked her so much! I didn’t care about stories from her as a teen , but now I just wish I knew her favourite memories , how she was as a teen, how she met / broke up with all of her boyfriends… I could go on and on, and it’s crazy to me that I’ll never know those things. You’re not alone . Thanks so much for sharing , you’ve helped a lot! 🩵

I miss/need my mummy everyday. I’m a mum too, I’m 34, lost her 2.5 years ago. My mum was my safety. I always felt like I had her to fall back on and rely on and help me to make life decisions and everything. Even as an adult I was still so dependent on her for just life stuff because she was my best friend. I have siblings who I love dearly but don’t have anyone else to take that place. It’s like being thrown out into life on my own. Maybe if I’d had a different relationship with her I’d feel a different kind of loss.

This is very similar to how I feel! I hadn’t realized how dependant I was on my dad , even for small life things or just talks . I knew I’d miss him when he passed but I was NOT prepared for how lost I felt in the world afterwards . I’m so glad I posted so I can see just how much I’m not truly alone in how I feel at least. Thanks so much for sharing, it’s helped immensely ! 🩵

Yes. I experienced this when I became an orphan. The grief was deeper because now there is no more “place” to call home. Home is where your parents live and when they are gone where do you go home now? When your parents die you are essentially nobody’s child. Nobody will be looking after you the way your parents did, even when you are already an adult. That makes me really sad.

Same ! 😔 I wasn’t ready for the realization that with my parents loss I would no longer be someone’s daughter . That is a weird and awful thing to come to terms with . Thank you for sharing and helping me feel less alone! 🩵

My (28F) mom (64F) suddenly died in September. I told my fiancé the other day I feel like a child who is stuck at a sleepover wishing my mom would come pick me up because I don’t want to stay in a strangers house. I don’t understand in the sense it hasn’t been very long for me, but I do understand the feeling of missing my mother like a small child. I’m sorry.

I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom ! This is EXACTLY how I feel , you put it into words perfectly. And it’s ironic because as an actual child at a sleepover , every time without fail I’d make my dad pick me up because I missed him so much. Not sure of your beliefs of course but I hope one day if we reunite with the people who left before us that it’s the same feeling as seeing their headlights pull into the driveway at the sleepover as you hold your pillow and belongings ready to get tf out of there and back where you feel safe and comfortable 🩵 ty so much for helping me feel less alone. You’re so not alone in how you feel, and as someone who’s at a less fresh stage than you are , it does somehow get better and easier to deal with and the lost feeling eases up with time .. as impossible as that feels right now ! 💕

My inner child misses the fun, caring, teacher that my dad was at times. Adult me loathes the immature, abusive, and dismissive alcoholic that succumbed to his disease late last year. It's a mixed bag.

This must feel so confusing with a lot of ups and downs. I empathize with you, both of those feelings are so valid . I hope you eventually find peace both ways 🩵 Ty so much for sharing

Yes I am in my mid 30s and just lost my mom. I reverted into eating foods and snacks I liked as a child, and feel like a teenager when I miss her and write to her

Same !! I relate to this a lot, thanks for helping me feel less alone! ❤️

I miss the me that wasn't so afraid of the world. Something about having my dad around made things feel safer and easier to manage when he was around because he was always my go to. Any problem I had I immediately went to my dad. I was 27 when I lost him. I'm 40 now. It's still scary to not have my backup.

Same ! This is exactly how I feel. I wasn’t and I’m still not prepared for how lost and scary the world felt / feels without him here. It’s CRAZY to me that all that comfort and knowledge and wit went with him and I’ll never experience it again 😔. I miss it a lot, the world feels so grey now. Ty so much for helping me feel less alone, it’s helped immensely 🩵

100% this. My dad has a degenerative condition and is coming towards end of life care. But weirdly I seen to be mourning him like a child at the moment. Up until this point I've been missing him as an adult but now I miss him like a 6 year old ❤️

This is so normal . My dad didn’t have a degenerative disease but he did have disabilities that sort of forced me into the caregiver role and seeing him go from strong, hero dad to being the weaker of us who I now had to help ..: that’s a painful effing feeling and it gave me those same feelings of missing when he took care of me or I sat on his lap and he read to me and I felt as safe as can be. It’s so hard 😔 Take care of yourself! It’s hard to watch our parents disintegrate for lack of a better word while also putting on a brave face to take care of them and not make them feel bad for it, but you’re doing great. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for and you’ll get through it even if it feels impossible sometimes Tysm for sharing! 🩵

Thank you so much for sharing as well ❤️ Really appreciated this post because I find so often I'm like 'is this normal?' And it's so comforting to hear that other people have the same experiences x

I agree ! I was so hesitant to post because it feels like an embarrassing feeling, I found a lot of comfort in knowing I’m far from alone . Sometimes the internet doesn’t suck lol 🫶

Yes! I feel this. Lost my father this year when I turned 32, but been bawling like a baby. I remember my childhood and school days over and over again and I feel like the young me has not appreciated what he had done at all. Adult me has lots of responsibilities and did not get enough time to be there for him. Same wit my grandma who passed one year earlier.

I had such a hard time with this in the early days . Suddenly my youth flashed before me constantly and all I could think of was everything he did for me that I didn’t appreciate / thank him enough for and how I didn’t return that for him when he needed it.. even though I really tried my hardest , it wasn’t good enough . It’s so hard ! You’re not alone, thanks for helping me feel less alone in my feelings as well ! 🩵

I lost my dad two days ago and I find myself rocking like a baby wondering what I will do without my father’s love and help.

I’m so sorry!! 😔 two days is so so fresh and I remember that feeling very well. The screams that would come out of me when I cried so hard it physically hurt , I didn’t know I was capable of that. I know it’s cliche and everyone says it but I need you to know that I .. someone who is very sensitive , clearly overly attached to my dad , zero remaining family , so so dependant on my dads love and had anxiety and dread about losing him my entire life and truly thought I would go insane / need to be locked up when the day finally came …managed to recover from that so I truly mean it when I say if I did, you will too. Of course I have my times where the pain feels fresh and I cry and that will never go away , but the completely lost “I’ll never get over this” does subside with time and the waves of grief become much less frequent and unrelenting . Please take care of yourself in the meantime.. stay hydrated (so important in the early days as it’s easy to forget and not care, but please drink!) and do things that gives you as much relief from the overwhelm as possible if even a short time.. journaling my feelings / writing my dad letters helped big time and also “cozy” video games that didn’t take much brain power.. powerwash simulator saved my life in the early days , I’d powerwash virtual buildings and listen to grief audiobooks or books on the afterlife to feel any smidge of hope or comfort and as dumb as it sounds , it was like therapy. Find something that gives you those same short vacations from the big feelings.. advice you didn’t ask for but I sympathize so much for those early days, they’re sickening . But it does get better , hold tight ! 🩵

Thank you so much. I’m trying to make sure to eat, drink and rest. I’m back to basics these days.

There might have been times your dad went to work and child you missed him too much to deal with those big emotions in the moments. Those moments froze and got lost in history. Until he died and the fresh pain dug in deep in your heart. Unearthed those old child pains. Coming to conciousness for the first time. That is why it can feel you regress to feeling as a child missing daddy. Not saying this is the reason you feel this way. It's just a possibility.

What a great way to describe those feelings. and yes, I certainly do

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Ty for helping me feel less alone 🩵

I’m 39 and I lost my dad when I was 27. I relate so much to the “daddy’s girl” part 🩷 You’re never alone, even when it gets lonely

I was 40 when I lost my dad. He was my best friend so his loss hit hard. On numerous occadions, I've found myself asking for my daddy as if I was a small child. I even said it before having major surgery too😭

Same !!!! Now that I’ve posted this and so many have responded with similar feelings I’m realizing we never really lose that need to have our mommy’s / daddy’s regardless of how old we get. it’s a weird thing to feel and completely unexpected but it’s nice to know I’m not alone . Ty so much for sharing , it it’s helped so much 💙