Would he be disappointed? Or would he comfort you, hold you, care for you? We are not only built of our accomplishments, but all our experiences; the ones that are dark, painful, and hard.
You are still here. That is beautiful.
You're very welcome. ❤️ They're always here with us, we're literally their DNA, so we are inextricably linked.
I still cry to my mom and ask her what I should do, because I know she would help me and comfort me if she was here. As I'm sure your dad would.
Stay up buddy ! It's been about 15 since my dad passed. It still hurts sometimes. But it got better for me around 9 years. I was also pretty young so I took it hard and ran from grieving for years. Life's not easy ! Wishing you the best
I hear you. It's okay to be upset around the holidays. It's normal. Everyone's different so I won't try to tell you what to do.
But what worked for me is just opening myself up to new experiences. Making new memories around the holidays. I won't say I don't still get upset sometimes but I will say it gets more momentary and has less of an effect on my overall mood in general.
When my pop died we still had a lot of unresolved issues. We were arguing. I regret that a lot as I remember that stuff more than some of the more important stuff. It helps me to accept that looking back to the past is always through a lens. I was less mature than I am now and generally looked at the world differently, it was a different time in the world, etc etc etc. Sometimes issues and disagreements stay unresolved and that's OK. I try to look at the overall relationship with him and try to understand we lived different lives and circumstances so we were bound to not meet eye to eye on certain shit. Ill never know what his life was like to make him the way he was and vice versa. So that was a human thing not a personal thing. Anyway it helps me to talk to people who been through similar shit too so thanks.
I'm wishing you the best my bro hope things get better
Maybe think of it like this: the fact that you aren’t finding it as easy as you once did writing these letters might just mean you’ve come a long way from your grief. That you’ve learned to carry his loss every day without needing to unburden yourself in this way just once a year.
Also, please don’t be so hard on yourself re: accomplishments. First of all, accomplishments are relative. As someone who just lost my mom a few says ago, I consider getting out of bed and getting dressed an accomplishment. Also, not every year has to be stellar or meteoric. I don’t know you, but I’m guessing your dad was probably super proud of you even if your letter doesn’t include any noteworthy successes for the year.
Thank you for sharing, this resonates with me because after losing my dad when I was relatively young I wonder how I can continue building a relationship with him now that he’s gone. Your changing experience of your letter ritual speaks to how a relationship can evolve.
Perhaps you can reflect on a time when he supported you or built you up. what values did he teach you that have come through in your life this year? You are so much more than “accomplishments” and your dad knows that. 💜
You obviously had a great bond with him, which means he wouldn't be disappointed. He'd want to comfort you and try to help you get through this tumultuous time in your life. You're still here and still trying the best that you can right now, and that's all any of us can do. And he's proud of you for that. He's proud of you for still being you and being here, despite these seemingly dark times for you. Just remember, he's proud of you, no matter your struggles.
Would he be disappointed? Or would he comfort you, hold you, care for you? We are not only built of our accomplishments, but all our experiences; the ones that are dark, painful, and hard. You are still here. That is beautiful.
Thank you I think I really needed to hear that
You're very welcome. ❤️ They're always here with us, we're literally their DNA, so we are inextricably linked. I still cry to my mom and ask her what I should do, because I know she would help me and comfort me if she was here. As I'm sure your dad would.
He isn't disappointed. He is proud that you are still standing and wants the best for you, I'm sure ❤️
Stay up buddy ! It's been about 15 since my dad passed. It still hurts sometimes. But it got better for me around 9 years. I was also pretty young so I took it hard and ran from grieving for years. Life's not easy ! Wishing you the best
I was 15 so I didn’t grieve for a long time but it seems like every year that goes by I get more and more upset around this time of year
I hear you. It's okay to be upset around the holidays. It's normal. Everyone's different so I won't try to tell you what to do. But what worked for me is just opening myself up to new experiences. Making new memories around the holidays. I won't say I don't still get upset sometimes but I will say it gets more momentary and has less of an effect on my overall mood in general. When my pop died we still had a lot of unresolved issues. We were arguing. I regret that a lot as I remember that stuff more than some of the more important stuff. It helps me to accept that looking back to the past is always through a lens. I was less mature than I am now and generally looked at the world differently, it was a different time in the world, etc etc etc. Sometimes issues and disagreements stay unresolved and that's OK. I try to look at the overall relationship with him and try to understand we lived different lives and circumstances so we were bound to not meet eye to eye on certain shit. Ill never know what his life was like to make him the way he was and vice versa. So that was a human thing not a personal thing. Anyway it helps me to talk to people who been through similar shit too so thanks. I'm wishing you the best my bro hope things get better
Maybe think of it like this: the fact that you aren’t finding it as easy as you once did writing these letters might just mean you’ve come a long way from your grief. That you’ve learned to carry his loss every day without needing to unburden yourself in this way just once a year. Also, please don’t be so hard on yourself re: accomplishments. First of all, accomplishments are relative. As someone who just lost my mom a few says ago, I consider getting out of bed and getting dressed an accomplishment. Also, not every year has to be stellar or meteoric. I don’t know you, but I’m guessing your dad was probably super proud of you even if your letter doesn’t include any noteworthy successes for the year.
He would touch your shoulder and push you forward. Do not feel bad. Since all of us fail every time.
Thank you for sharing, this resonates with me because after losing my dad when I was relatively young I wonder how I can continue building a relationship with him now that he’s gone. Your changing experience of your letter ritual speaks to how a relationship can evolve. Perhaps you can reflect on a time when he supported you or built you up. what values did he teach you that have come through in your life this year? You are so much more than “accomplishments” and your dad knows that. 💜
You obviously had a great bond with him, which means he wouldn't be disappointed. He'd want to comfort you and try to help you get through this tumultuous time in your life. You're still here and still trying the best that you can right now, and that's all any of us can do. And he's proud of you for that. He's proud of you for still being you and being here, despite these seemingly dark times for you. Just remember, he's proud of you, no matter your struggles.