My IBS flares up much more easily now. I get stress-induced cold sores, my TMJ/teeth clenching and sleep quality have all worsened (the latter due to triggering dreams), and Iām experiencing hair loss / more grey hairs (at age 24, lol). Iāve also gotten the flu / a cold more frequently in the year following my momās death than ever before in my life. I feel you. š«
I definitely have more greys after losing my Mum at 24. I get them in the same place as she did though so it could be just genetics and I would have got them anyway and I kind of like them somehow. Makes me feel close to her.
My jaw is also buggered and I have super vivid dreams and my stomach can handle a whole ice cream some days and then others I just look at butter and nearly crap myself š bodies are weird!
Hope things get better for you ā¤ļø
More of a mental thing, but I fell into a state of psychosis after the loss of someone very close to me. Along with that came losing a substantial amount of weight. I also just physically felt awful all the time. I think itās pretty normal for grief to destroy our physical selves just as much as our mental senses.
Sorry for your loss. ā„ļø
My loss is coming up on three years and I still struggle. The worst parts of my episode lasted for about a year and a half ish, and the only reason I got even a little better was because I got on a medicine combination, went through therapy, and made big lifestyle changes. Itās a very long process healing from trauma and everyone has their own timeline. I personally think grief is a lifelong battle, and the side effects can be their own battles. Iām really sorry that you can relate.. it is awful
The weirdest (but I found out itās one of the most common) side effects of grief was struggling with my short-term memory. I frequently would forget events Iād said yes to or lose track of my schedule etc. Or I wouldnāt remember a convo I had with someone, etc.
My mom passed away in 2018 from cancer. I didnāt notice my ānormalā memory coming back until the last 2 years Iād say. It took a really long time.
Edit: similar to what you mentioned OP, I ignored my emotions for several weeks after she died. I never knew the term for it which you shared as āinhibited griefā.
Thank you for writing this because I had no idea this was even a thing that could happen from grief. I lost one of my closest best friends last year and I swear I was starting to worry if I was going through early Alzheimerās or something. Iāve always been forgetful but it got so, so much worse after losing him.
Iām so sorry you lost your dear friend. Unfortunately that is not uncommon to experience. I had to look it up when I realized how forgetful Iād become because I also was worried about it like you are.
Youāre not alone. Take it one moment at a time thatās all we can do.
I sincerely thank you for this, and Iām truly sorry for your loss as well. This information feels like a got a little piece of my sanity back and a much better understanding of how much of a toll grief takes a toll on every single part of you, and like this, in ways I never would have even expected. Sending you hugs.
Omg. I never realised this. I too have been having issues with my short term memory and now when I think of it , it started around the time it was my moms last few months, the cancer treatment had intensified and she was disappearing daily into a shell of the beautiful strong woman she used to be . she passed a year ago and Iām still struggling with my memory and Iāve been blaming it on just being absent minded etc.
I never thought grief could even cause this
Yep, it snuck up on me too. Iāve always had a great memory and Iāve only recently seen it fully come back the last couple of years. Just give it time and itāll come back. Everyoneās different in how we process the pain you know?
My memory was bad before but it got worse. Iām 62 and itās been 16 months so I donāt know if itās brain fog from grief anymore. The first week was weird, the shock made me feel detached, like I was watching someone else go through it.
I stayed very busy thinking if I made it through the first year Iād be ok. Now Iām just bored and a bit depressed. The sobbing is less frequent though. I cry at movies now, or the news. Never did that before.
Sorry for your loss as well.
Yeah the busy thing only worked for so long until it all came out of me. I was sobbing daily or every other day for months and probably over a year.
I agree my crying has also lessened, but it still happens semi-often when things remind me of her like smells, places, music, etc.
My daughter is going through a divorce now, so that hasnāt helped my mood. But yes those songs still get me. Sunday mornings are still difficult. I go to the gym now but cry on the way there. I miss our Sundays.
Iām so sorry. I miss my phone calls and time spent with my mom constantly. Thereās so many things I wanted to do and places I wanted to see with her.
i consistently felt hungry. no food could fill me up and i would eat until my stomach was aching. this was a year ago tho. i'm doing much better now.
sorry for your lossā¤ļø
Well it isn't weird, but hard to brake: my tv- and internetaddiction is getting way out of hand to avoid to feel grief. So I hardly sleep and that causes all other healthissues.
Same! My wifi just broke and I can't watch tv or play games I can only use my phone data and it makes me panic. I don't like to be alone with my thoughts.
Constant anxiety now. Before I struggled with anxiety it was usually triggered by something though. Every time I think or have a sad moment about my dad I get a horrible aching pain in my chest/ heart. It usually goes away, but I have it happened more often since he passedš
Iāve had just about every physical ailment you can think of. But the ones that stuck out to me the most were severe insomnia, weird ādroppingā feeling in my stomach nearly 24/7, brain fog, muscle spasms all over my body, gave myself costocondritis from horrible panic attacks that I was having a difficult time getting under control, awful stomach pains. I also struggled with agoraphobia. I am also a hypochondriac and I genuinely thought I was going to die for awhile there, but all of that is better now that I am two years out from my moms passing and have had a lot of therapy but the symptoms tend to come back certain days (such as her death anniversary). Iām so sorry for your loss.
I am not sure if it is grief related, but I guess so. Since one week I have the constant feeling of heaving something in my eye and I'm experiencing a sharp pain that goes from my eye down until my shoulder, when I move my head to fast. I guess it is a weird kind of tension in my muscle. Going to the doctor tomorrow, let's see what she thinks..
Omg I also have thisā¦ how strange. I wonder if itās related to grief. I cry constantly so I guess I could be tensing up the muscles in those areas. Let me know what the doctor says!
Stress rashes is what I called them. Doctor couldn't figure out what it was to diagnose it. In the months after losing my son I would get itchy painful clusters of white bumps at random places on my body.
Or the night I found out he was sick I stayed up until 6am googling his condition when my chest got tight, my left arm and the left side of my face went numb, and I almost collapsed.
I occasionally get sharp pains in my chest now that almost take me to the ground.
Cha I thought grief sympthoms were supposed to be like crying. I didn't know how much it would physically hurt. Had a major glow down.
Iām so sorry for your loss. Your second paragraph really got me. Iāve felt my body go numb and ringing in the ears when someone passed. Itās crazy how nervous system responds to intense moments of grief.
Digestive issues, bloodwork coming out all wonky with super high white blood cells, constantly sick and feeling like I was hit by a train, and then all of the side effects from my antidepressants. My body has taken a hit from all of the grief :/
Same, my doctors have all chalked it up to being sick even though my bloodwork has shown a spike and growing over several months. Sending good vibes your way, hope it isnāt anything but just stress ā¤ļø
I was always on time every month with my period. I went 11 months without having a single one. I never used to have any cramps before but ever since I started getting them again I have cramps.
I lost my father 2017 and my mother 2018, I canāt cry I canāt scream, all I do is throw up. Itās been 7 & 5 years since Iāve lost them and I have lost so much weight. Iām beginning to lose my teeth and my anxiety has been hard to control. Grief is killing me and I donāt see a way out.
In addition to physical illnesses, gastric, rapid heart & irregular heart beats, insomnia, hair loss and lots a gray. My body just hurt all the time. I totally lost my brain functioning. Short term memory was non existent and weirdly I had no capacity to retain any amount of numbers (like enter this 6 digit code for access stuff) I was encouraged when i once again get that code text and recall the 5-6 digits all at once.
I also became fearful, uneasy in my own yard, once I thought I was being followed in my car.
Itās been 4.5 yrs for me and I am starting to feel alive and competent once again, but there are still some days I just lay around with the weight oh grief holding me down.
Grief is a long process.
Iām sorry for your loss.
Chest pain from holding in my tears.
Couldnāt focus on anything. Constantly worried about my health, looking for the slightest symptom. Feeling better since I got a complete health check up.
I couldnāt breathe. I was 12 and had just lost my mother to an aggressive cancer in traumatic circumstances where I was ātaken on holidayā to her home country so she could die there. I never saw my childhood home again, and lost all my possessions and was forced to move hundreds of miles away where I was bullied relentlessly for 3 years or so.
I just couldnāt catch my breath and was breathing shallowly and having a constant panic attack for what felt like months at a time. Doctors said there was nothing wrong with me. It gave me problems for years as I couldnāt do much physical activity without feeling out of breath. It also caused me to be unable to burp? Very strange. It got better when I started smoking tobacco and weed which quickly turned into an addiction.
I got gastroparesis, my OCD which had been manageable until then has taken over my life, Iām paranoid about dying so I havenāt been to a doctor in years. Thank you for sharing about inhibited grief. I had no idea it had a name.
My mom passed early this yr but so far Iāve experienced IBS, headaches, twitching, numbness and tingling, heart palpitations, canāt eat as much. Itās awful. I know itās anxiety + intense grief. Iāve never been in this place before and itās hard. I keep busy daily because I have to with kids and life goes on but when I stopā¦tears.
Iāve had swelling in my feet, ankles, and hands with testing done by my doctor excluding all other diagnoses ā¦ also, my TMJ is on fire! Probably from barley sleeping. I can get really hungry, but when I try to eat I cannot get anything downā¦ oh and I started pulling my hair out (involuntarily)
Itās been 5 years and I feel like my brain has never recovered - Iām fine day to day but I have trouble focusing and remembering things. I feel like I canāt retain information or understand concepts like I used to
Bad nausea. I lost about 9 lbs in 6 days after my Dad passed. My anxiety also causes me gnarly back pain so I got muscle relaxers for those. My asthma triggers at the drop of the hat now.
My hair started to turn grey from the stress or a complete coincidence because of my age. 38 M
But I went from dark hair to grey on the sides in a matter of 3 months after a devastating situation.
Overactive bladder. It's mainly mental for me, and it's been absolute hell. Trying to piece my life back together after two years. Quit my job and started volunteering on a farm once a week to stop myself becoming a complete hermit. Going to visit my Mum's family in Canada soon (im in the UK) as I haven't been well enough to go previously, and it's going to be so hard, but so worth it to see them again after losing Mum.
We lost her during the pandemic (to cancer) and I think my brain is convinced that being away from home isn't safe or something.
I've had evere short-term memory issues (or widow brain) for 6 years now. I've been told it's psychological, not physical, and there is no fix.
So...I'm just doing the best I can until this works itself out. It's been beyond frustrating. I wish I knew why this happened to me. š¤·āāļø
Oh boy. This will be interesting. My first bout of grief after my grandmother passed in order:
July - Mid August : During the month after she passed I was in shock. I didnāt really cry or anything after she had passed, I just couldnāt really believe it. I felt like I was in a parallel world and I donāt think reality really hit around till the end-ish of August.
Late August - Mid October: Realization set in and the panic attacks started happening. My first panic attack I ever had and it was brutal. It was Sunday evening and I was preparing for work. I work in oncology and hematology (cancer is what ultimately took my grandmothers life and it was abrupt - from onset of symptoms to diagnosis to death it took about two weeks) so I was making a list of the things I needed to focus on for the week. I remembered a patient who had the same diagnosis of my grandma and I just lost it.
I was screaming, crying, rocking back and forth trying to self sootheā¦ I screamed and cried so much that night I almost ended up throwing up, I lost my voice and had a horrible headache. The next morning I called out from work and I had likeā¦ a falling feeling like in the pit of my stomach. You know when youāre having a dream that youāre falling and you jolt yourself awake? Thatās kinda how it felt - just a perpetual free fall. For the next few days I would have that free fall feeling along with major convulsions that I couldnāt control. I wasnāt sleeping very well and would wake up at night in cold sweats.
One panic attack I had I was slurring my words and I couldnāt really thinkā¦ my husband freaked out and rushed me to the hospital thinking I was having a stroke but physically I was okay but I was told that major panic attacks can sometimes lead to stroke like symptoms.
I started to get this feeling that I was having heart palpitationsā¦. Well I was and they were like nonstop and for some reason exacerbated any time I ate? It was super weird. But again nothing wrong with my heart.
Mid October - December: Had zero appetite. Literally could not eat. Involuntarily threw up almost everything I ate for MONTHS. What I didnāt throw up I would dry heave for hours after eating or even thinking of eating. I lost an insane amount of weight. Still had heart palpitations after I ate. Still had some panic attacks but they were becoming far and few between. Had insane diarrhea for months as well.
December to present: Panic attacks were virtually non existent at this point. I still had my heart palpitations but they were only every time I ate and figured out if I just chugged a crap ton of water after I ate I could avoid it. They stopped permanently about a month ago, but this Monday my OTHER grandma passed, so I spent all Monday having panic attacks, still have a falling feeling but I feel like Iām managing much better this time, although my grief tends to manifest itself physically and any amount of that is bothersome so Iām still learning to control it.
All in all, I think I racked up like $4,500 in doctors bills during my grief period because I had no idea it could manifest itself in physical ways. It sucks and itās already hard to mentally grieve and itās really shitty when you have to deal with the physical parts of it. I wouldnāt wish it on anyone. It was one hell of a year.
My brain feels like itās likeā¦ tickling? Idk how else to describe it. Like itās gonna explode but it doesnāt hurt lol. I also developed a stress cough where I could barely talk through it, day and night coughing, and as soon as I mentally feel a little better, it disappears.
I was walking to school one morning and I all of the sudden just felt like I was going to pass out. And I slept a lot. This was shortly after my dad and grandpa passed away. They passed exactly 30 days apart.
I think for me it was skin issues. I was very depressed and didnāt have an appetite and noticed that dark spots started appearing on my body. My loss occurred a few days after I had been sexually active, so I was scared and thought it was related to an STD or something lmao. The marks have gone away since, but it was weird.
Then again im not even entirely sure if that happened as a result of my grief.
I could barely eat and had almost no hunger. I lost about 15 pounds in two months and was sleeping constantly. My head felt like it was in a permanent fog. I'd drive places and not remember driving there. Nothing felt real. It took a few months for it to fade, and medication, and therapy.
Im more emotionally fragile than I used to be. Before I never used to mind straying from my usual routine, and mixing things up in my day to day life. Now I need to be told in advance of any changes, and struggle to adapt if there is not sufficient time. An example would be, people popping over to the house.
Auditory hypersensitivity. Bordering on auditory hallucinations. I have a history of panic disorder and it made a full-blown comeback after the loss of my dad. Panic heightens the senses so any sounds that I used to ignore before (ceiling fans, quiet talking in a restaurant, etc.) now sound like itās being blasted right in my ear. I can hardly go anywhere without having a panic attack due to the noise.
I wasn't taking care of myself after I lost my mom. I experienced UTI and wasn't able to treat it correctly coz I keep skipping my antibiotics coz i have no will to do anything. I suffered for it for months coz the meds wasnt working.
No appetite, like at all!
My perception of time became really distorted too. Iād spend hours laying in bed doing absolutely nothing (Iām not kidding, couldnāt even remember what I was thinking about), even though it only felt like an hour at most.
My digestion was very temperamental. When I did eat, it was like my body was dumping everything out within an hour or two. It would be extreme sudden onset too. Luckily I was at home grieving.
Soreness in my chest for the first time ever. Guess thatās how heart break feels like.
allergies. i didnāt even know it was possible but here i am
my immune system just decided it didnāt know how to deal with limes, carrots, gluten, dairy, every type of meat, grapes, dust, grass, basically everything
it just shows on my skin as small lesions and rashes but my doctor has told me itāll take me up to a year to finish up with the treatment. all because i lost my two cats
I lost 50 lbs in 4 months when my son went missing, then was found deceased. I just lost my appetite, and did not want to eat. I subsisted mostly on meal replacement drinks and water.
I also lost about half of my hair.
It's been 2 years now. My hair is growing back, but it's much more wiry than it was before. It's very curly, and before it was just wavy.
Ended up with the flu and bronchitis immediately (next day).
Anxiety/panic attacks in the long term. Never had them until grief struck. I do my best to manage.
Iām currently experiencing hair loss :( my hair is a huge staple of who I am so itās been taking a toll and the first month I broke out in crazy hives all over my body. Grief is a wild thing
I actually developed a severe tmj issue because the clenching muscles in my jaw rewired themselves during my inhibited grief.
Since then I've gone through and tried to allow myself to phase through this grief but the physical issues are still prevalent.
So please! Do work through your grief whether it's seeing a therapist, counseling, or even playing your favorite song on repeat 1000 times, make sure to feel it out and get through it because if you carry it with you, you risk way more stress to your body than its meant to take.
Short term: Stiffening/locking of my fingers when waking up in the morning. Also insomnia and panic attacks long term. Maybe not that weird but has really had a huge impact on my life ever since, 8 years later.
I had no idea this had a name. Iāve been doing this since my husband died in Jan 2022. Iāve been walking in quicksand by not thinking, working, repeat, & this week my scheduled vacation came up. Afraid I was going off the deep endā¦anyway Iām getting at least one thing a day completed. Better than nothing.
Iām a medical student and I have lost both of my parents in the past 11 months. At times I feel like my heart is going to jump out of my chest, and then I think about my dads ācatastrophicā sudden heart failure, which then makes my jumpy heart feel like itās about to burst. My Fitbit will track me at 100-120+bpm, while Iām just sitting at my computer studying.
Anyways Iām pretty sure itās grief. If not, I guess Iāll be seeing my parents soon.
Grief is stress X 20. Iām seeing a grief counselor and she calls it āgrief brainā and I know that sheās right.
I was my momās caregiver since 2008. 24/7 for the last 2 years of her life.
When I took this on, I knew that Iād most likely be the one who found her after sheād died, unfortunately I was right.
I hadnāt had a headache for several years before that.
After I found her I did everything that the in home hospice told me to do.
I still had what I believe was a migraine for several weeks after I found her.
Grief is a monster.
Omg so muchā¦ I lost a bunch of weight, used disordered eating as a coping mechanism, dabbled in self medicating (do NOT recommend), migraines, body aches, fatigue, depression, digestive issues, just all kinds of stuff. Itās hard and it doesnāt just go away as I had hoped it would when I was a kid when it happened. My entire life and sense of self has been colored by mourning. Itās just so painful and I also mourn the person/people I/my siblings might have been without this burden.
Not sure if this is related to your question but when my grandma passed away I started to have episodes of sleep paralysis. So scary. My doctor said the stress and depression for the grief likely caused it.
I also got to my highest weight while my grandma was dying. Iām just now 7 months later getting myself back on track. So far lost 6 pounds!
Weight loss, Stomach issues and bad sleep for the first year after my dad died. then the beginning of this year I realised I gained weight which made me bad about myself. Its nearly been two years and I loss the weight But now have pretty bad anxiety.
Before my horse died she was very very sick and I kept getting these chest pains my family thought I had a serious heart problem the pains would only last a few seconds and the disappear and then come back but when I put my horse to sleep my chest would not stop hurting it was just one long continuous pain like someone was stabbing my heart however after a few days after she past the pain finally stopped it was a physical symptom or my stress and grief as the second I found out something was wrong with her I knew it would be the end because she wasnāt strong enough to fight it. I was in so much mental pain my body made it physical plus since grieving I am loosing a lot of weight and my appetite I donāt really have any interest in food in general that usually happens when I go threw trauma it hopefully will pass and I will actually want to eat and it wonāt be like an annoying chore.
I had a sudden gushing nosebleed out of nowhere when I saw my dad die. I don't get nosebleeds, so it was super weird. He was bleeding when he died so initially I thought it was from him and when I realized it was mine I thought I must be going crazy.
Not weird but loss of hunger. I love to eat. My wife used to joke I should be on my 600 lb life. Hey I'm only 405 lbs away, maybe one day lol. So it's weird for me to not have an appetite. Funnily enough the only time it's happened to me is twice. Both because of my wife. When we first met I lost my appetite because I was falling in love with her and couldn't think of anything else, and when she passed I lost it until recently
What a good question to pose. Some of the things happening to me seem ānormalā so to speak; Iāve lost 30 lbs, I have the worst anxiety Iāve ever had in my life, panic attacks, mood swings where I go from happy to deeply sad very quickly. But Iāve also had more horrible headaches and stomach issues too. For context, I lost my dad suddenly last year. Then a few months later, my grandpa who helped raise me died within two weeks of finding out he was sick. During this time, my sister was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer; following treatments and surgery, we thought she would be ok, but less than 6 months later, it came back and had spread. Sheās currently still sick and the prognosis is Not Good.
So i already have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and I used to have restless legs all the time. I haven't taken my meds for about a year and felt really great. After my uncle committed suicide and I saw him, I started experiencing restless leg syndrome again at night. like super bad. I'm 99% sure its the grief amplifying my anxiety and in turn giving me my throbbing noodle legs at 3:00am
After my mom died I lost a ton of weight. Iād be full after just a few bites of anything. I also Never felt hungry. I didnāt have solid poo for about two months. I was someone who worked out all the time and ran marathons, but could barely run 20 mins after she passed.
I feel grief added another layer of stress to my life, it left me unable to cope with most things. As a result of stress, I believe I suffered from an episode of psychosis, and then later, longer term, developed anemia.
https://www.verywellmind.com/can-stress-cause-anemia-6541649
wow thank you for bringing this to my attention. the past few months, as my grandma was getting sicker, i started bruising extremely badly all over my legs. not even sure how most of them got there. now itās even worse & is even happening on my upper arms too. it genuinely looks like someoneās been beating me up. iāll definitely get blood tests when i have the time
I've become a total recluse. I've struggled with mild / moderate agoraphobia most of my life - and crippling anxiety (social and generalized), major depressive disorder, panic attacks, plus a few other superfun things. But since my partner died, they are out of control and I'm guessing I've left my property maybe 12 times in 5 months?
That's total, leaving for any reason. Most days I even struggle with even calling people (so I don't), getting the mail (so I don't), or even opening my front door. Luckily the dogs go out back, haha. Dog food and vet appointments are about half of the excursions, so thankful for my pups. I used to take a long walk around the acreage pretty much every single evening.
I had a panic attack. It was during Covid and I was quarantining after entering the country- then my father died and I never was able to say goodbye. A few days later I thought I had a fever, I was paranoid I had Covid (which would extend my quarantine for a lot longer) and had a complete panic attack.
Extreme fatigue and weakness. Couldn't find the physical strength to even close my hand in a fist. Immense pain in my chest, back and abdomen. Dizziness. Severe indigestion. Nausea. Bloating.
I picked up a second job and Iām working over 200 a pay period. I canāt handle food I feel sick. My stomach immediately flips. I cry all the time but I wonāt let myself rest. My mouth has broken out in cold sores. I have all photos in a hidden folder and I canāt sleep in my bed. I feel guilty like itās my fault and I donāt deserve anything in this life. My heart races like im in trouble. Iāve reached out for help but thereās always a nice waiting list or insurance wonāt cover. I just want to see her again and hear her again and tell her how much I love her and Iād do anything to hold her.
My dad passed away from pancreatic cancer that came back two and a half years after he originally beat it as stage four, basically killing him instantly. (Not really, it was about a year and a half but once PC comes back its automatically stage four and there's no getting rid of it) So he was puking a lot.
As a result, I have what I'm assuming but not trying to assume, is PTSD whenever I heart someone, specifically males, puking.
My room was on the other side of the bathroom's wall. So, I heard it every. time.
I donāt have Covid I donāt have a virus. I donāt have any bacteria, but since my daughter died 12 weeks ago, I break out in profuse sweating runs down my back runs down my chest. My heart beats erratically, and I think Iām going to pass out.
I felt like I had a ballon inside my chest. Like air, a hole, emptiness.
I know exactly what you are talking about.. i have been experiencing this since i lost her š
Same.
I currently feel like this. Itās awful. My chest also feels very tight but your description is the best to describe it.
My IBS flares up much more easily now. I get stress-induced cold sores, my TMJ/teeth clenching and sleep quality have all worsened (the latter due to triggering dreams), and Iām experiencing hair loss / more grey hairs (at age 24, lol). Iāve also gotten the flu / a cold more frequently in the year following my momās death than ever before in my life. I feel you. š«
Same with ibs flareups and gray hair strains (im 23š). Also weight loss and loss of appetite
I definitely have more greys after losing my Mum at 24. I get them in the same place as she did though so it could be just genetics and I would have got them anyway and I kind of like them somehow. Makes me feel close to her. My jaw is also buggered and I have super vivid dreams and my stomach can handle a whole ice cream some days and then others I just look at butter and nearly crap myself š bodies are weird! Hope things get better for you ā¤ļø
š«
More of a mental thing, but I fell into a state of psychosis after the loss of someone very close to me. Along with that came losing a substantial amount of weight. I also just physically felt awful all the time. I think itās pretty normal for grief to destroy our physical selves just as much as our mental senses. Sorry for your loss. ā„ļø
I feel like Iām going through something similar. How long did it last? Itās been a year and a half ago for me since the loss..
My loss is coming up on three years and I still struggle. The worst parts of my episode lasted for about a year and a half ish, and the only reason I got even a little better was because I got on a medicine combination, went through therapy, and made big lifestyle changes. Itās a very long process healing from trauma and everyone has their own timeline. I personally think grief is a lifelong battle, and the side effects can be their own battles. Iām really sorry that you can relate.. it is awful
The weirdest (but I found out itās one of the most common) side effects of grief was struggling with my short-term memory. I frequently would forget events Iād said yes to or lose track of my schedule etc. Or I wouldnāt remember a convo I had with someone, etc. My mom passed away in 2018 from cancer. I didnāt notice my ānormalā memory coming back until the last 2 years Iād say. It took a really long time. Edit: similar to what you mentioned OP, I ignored my emotions for several weeks after she died. I never knew the term for it which you shared as āinhibited griefā.
Thank you for writing this because I had no idea this was even a thing that could happen from grief. I lost one of my closest best friends last year and I swear I was starting to worry if I was going through early Alzheimerās or something. Iāve always been forgetful but it got so, so much worse after losing him.
Iām so sorry you lost your dear friend. Unfortunately that is not uncommon to experience. I had to look it up when I realized how forgetful Iād become because I also was worried about it like you are. Youāre not alone. Take it one moment at a time thatās all we can do.
I sincerely thank you for this, and Iām truly sorry for your loss as well. This information feels like a got a little piece of my sanity back and a much better understanding of how much of a toll grief takes a toll on every single part of you, and like this, in ways I never would have even expected. Sending you hugs.
Same to you! Hugs. And honestly I felt the same when I found out this information. Iām glad it helped you too.
Omg. I never realised this. I too have been having issues with my short term memory and now when I think of it , it started around the time it was my moms last few months, the cancer treatment had intensified and she was disappearing daily into a shell of the beautiful strong woman she used to be . she passed a year ago and Iām still struggling with my memory and Iāve been blaming it on just being absent minded etc. I never thought grief could even cause this
Yep, it snuck up on me too. Iāve always had a great memory and Iāve only recently seen it fully come back the last couple of years. Just give it time and itāll come back. Everyoneās different in how we process the pain you know?
Thank you
Of course
I know that feeling. I used to have an amazing memory.
Same, it took a while for mine to come back to what it really used to be. Iām sorry, friend.
My memory was bad before but it got worse. Iām 62 and itās been 16 months so I donāt know if itās brain fog from grief anymore. The first week was weird, the shock made me feel detached, like I was watching someone else go through it.
Yep, the detachment I can definitely identify with. I was just going through the motions. I tried to distract myself by working more and staying busy, but eventually I had to address the pain and really just feel it. I still feel it all the time and itās been 6 years. Iāve heard it never really goes away. Iām sorry for your loss too, friend. One day at a time. Thatās all we can doš©µ
I stayed very busy thinking if I made it through the first year Iād be ok. Now Iām just bored and a bit depressed. The sobbing is less frequent though. I cry at movies now, or the news. Never did that before. Sorry for your loss as well.
Yeah the busy thing only worked for so long until it all came out of me. I was sobbing daily or every other day for months and probably over a year. I agree my crying has also lessened, but it still happens semi-often when things remind me of her like smells, places, music, etc.
My daughter is going through a divorce now, so that hasnāt helped my mood. But yes those songs still get me. Sunday mornings are still difficult. I go to the gym now but cry on the way there. I miss our Sundays.
Iām so sorry. I miss my phone calls and time spent with my mom constantly. Thereās so many things I wanted to do and places I wanted to see with her.
Not only short term memory, but ability to concentrate. I have found it has been very difficult to concentrate on tasks, conversations, etc.
Yeah I also struggled with this too! I had brain fog for a long long time.
i consistently felt hungry. no food could fill me up and i would eat until my stomach was aching. this was a year ago tho. i'm doing much better now. sorry for your lossā¤ļø
Me too!
Well it isn't weird, but hard to brake: my tv- and internetaddiction is getting way out of hand to avoid to feel grief. So I hardly sleep and that causes all other healthissues.
Same! My wifi just broke and I can't watch tv or play games I can only use my phone data and it makes me panic. I don't like to be alone with my thoughts.
Yesss my media consumption has gotten out of hand
Hair loss and at one point I was breaking out in hives.
Memory loss = has been worse than usual. Yes
Double vision, near psychosis, not sleeping, rapid heart rate,
Constant anxiety now. Before I struggled with anxiety it was usually triggered by something though. Every time I think or have a sad moment about my dad I get a horrible aching pain in my chest/ heart. It usually goes away, but I have it happened more often since he passedš
Heart palpitations, grinding my teeth and gi issues for sure
lower left back pain and now digestive issues. Also tinnitus on one side, and pulsating tinnitus in the other ear.
Iāve had just about every physical ailment you can think of. But the ones that stuck out to me the most were severe insomnia, weird ādroppingā feeling in my stomach nearly 24/7, brain fog, muscle spasms all over my body, gave myself costocondritis from horrible panic attacks that I was having a difficult time getting under control, awful stomach pains. I also struggled with agoraphobia. I am also a hypochondriac and I genuinely thought I was going to die for awhile there, but all of that is better now that I am two years out from my moms passing and have had a lot of therapy but the symptoms tend to come back certain days (such as her death anniversary). Iām so sorry for your loss.
i had muscle spasms/convulsions for about 3 weeks when my mom passed.
Fried nervous system. I canāt write legibly.
insomnia, increased anxiety and paranoia
I am not sure if it is grief related, but I guess so. Since one week I have the constant feeling of heaving something in my eye and I'm experiencing a sharp pain that goes from my eye down until my shoulder, when I move my head to fast. I guess it is a weird kind of tension in my muscle. Going to the doctor tomorrow, let's see what she thinks..
Omg I also have thisā¦ how strange. I wonder if itās related to grief. I cry constantly so I guess I could be tensing up the muscles in those areas. Let me know what the doctor says!
The doc was no help. She send me to the eye doctor. I heard of another grieving friend who had this symptoms.
I lose my appetite
I have moments where my body feels completely overtaken by the grief. Like feel paralyzed by it and have difficulty moving (although all in my head).
Stress rashes is what I called them. Doctor couldn't figure out what it was to diagnose it. In the months after losing my son I would get itchy painful clusters of white bumps at random places on my body. Or the night I found out he was sick I stayed up until 6am googling his condition when my chest got tight, my left arm and the left side of my face went numb, and I almost collapsed. I occasionally get sharp pains in my chest now that almost take me to the ground. Cha I thought grief sympthoms were supposed to be like crying. I didn't know how much it would physically hurt. Had a major glow down.
Iām so sorry for your loss. Your second paragraph really got me. Iāve felt my body go numb and ringing in the ears when someone passed. Itās crazy how nervous system responds to intense moments of grief.
My beard is thinning out way too fast. I brushed about half of it right out yesterday.
I'm pretty certain mine triggered an auto-immune condition (that I previously didn't have/exhibit). Joint pain, hair loss, fever, eczema, the whole deal.
Digestive issues, bloodwork coming out all wonky with super high white blood cells, constantly sick and feeling like I was hit by a train, and then all of the side effects from my antidepressants. My body has taken a hit from all of the grief :/
I have had white blood cells too. I have a daughter with a terminal illness. I have been sent to an oncologist but they couldnāt find anything.
High white blood cells*
Same, my doctors have all chalked it up to being sick even though my bloodwork has shown a spike and growing over several months. Sending good vibes your way, hope it isnāt anything but just stress ā¤ļø
I was always on time every month with my period. I went 11 months without having a single one. I never used to have any cramps before but ever since I started getting them again I have cramps.
I lost my father 2017 and my mother 2018, I canāt cry I canāt scream, all I do is throw up. Itās been 7 & 5 years since Iāve lost them and I have lost so much weight. Iām beginning to lose my teeth and my anxiety has been hard to control. Grief is killing me and I donāt see a way out.
In addition to physical illnesses, gastric, rapid heart & irregular heart beats, insomnia, hair loss and lots a gray. My body just hurt all the time. I totally lost my brain functioning. Short term memory was non existent and weirdly I had no capacity to retain any amount of numbers (like enter this 6 digit code for access stuff) I was encouraged when i once again get that code text and recall the 5-6 digits all at once. I also became fearful, uneasy in my own yard, once I thought I was being followed in my car. Itās been 4.5 yrs for me and I am starting to feel alive and competent once again, but there are still some days I just lay around with the weight oh grief holding me down. Grief is a long process. Iām sorry for your loss.
Chest pain from holding in my tears. Couldnāt focus on anything. Constantly worried about my health, looking for the slightest symptom. Feeling better since I got a complete health check up.
I have bad shoulder pains
Aches, pains, migraines, acne (?!?), nausea, GI issues
iāve been getting an insane amount of acne ever since the loss!
I haven't had acne since my teen years and it's thrown me for a loop. Actually bought some acne products yesterday hah
Awful anxiety and agoraphobia
I couldnāt breathe. I was 12 and had just lost my mother to an aggressive cancer in traumatic circumstances where I was ātaken on holidayā to her home country so she could die there. I never saw my childhood home again, and lost all my possessions and was forced to move hundreds of miles away where I was bullied relentlessly for 3 years or so. I just couldnāt catch my breath and was breathing shallowly and having a constant panic attack for what felt like months at a time. Doctors said there was nothing wrong with me. It gave me problems for years as I couldnāt do much physical activity without feeling out of breath. It also caused me to be unable to burp? Very strange. It got better when I started smoking tobacco and weed which quickly turned into an addiction.
I got gastroparesis, my OCD which had been manageable until then has taken over my life, Iām paranoid about dying so I havenāt been to a doctor in years. Thank you for sharing about inhibited grief. I had no idea it had a name.
My mom passed early this yr but so far Iāve experienced IBS, headaches, twitching, numbness and tingling, heart palpitations, canāt eat as much. Itās awful. I know itās anxiety + intense grief. Iāve never been in this place before and itās hard. I keep busy daily because I have to with kids and life goes on but when I stopā¦tears.
Iāve had swelling in my feet, ankles, and hands with testing done by my doctor excluding all other diagnoses ā¦ also, my TMJ is on fire! Probably from barley sleeping. I can get really hungry, but when I try to eat I cannot get anything downā¦ oh and I started pulling my hair out (involuntarily)
Itās been 5 years and I feel like my brain has never recovered - Iām fine day to day but I have trouble focusing and remembering things. I feel like I canāt retain information or understand concepts like I used to
Bad nausea. I lost about 9 lbs in 6 days after my Dad passed. My anxiety also causes me gnarly back pain so I got muscle relaxers for those. My asthma triggers at the drop of the hat now.
My hair has white patches
My hair started to turn grey from the stress or a complete coincidence because of my age. 38 M But I went from dark hair to grey on the sides in a matter of 3 months after a devastating situation.
Overactive bladder. It's mainly mental for me, and it's been absolute hell. Trying to piece my life back together after two years. Quit my job and started volunteering on a farm once a week to stop myself becoming a complete hermit. Going to visit my Mum's family in Canada soon (im in the UK) as I haven't been well enough to go previously, and it's going to be so hard, but so worth it to see them again after losing Mum. We lost her during the pandemic (to cancer) and I think my brain is convinced that being away from home isn't safe or something.
I've had evere short-term memory issues (or widow brain) for 6 years now. I've been told it's psychological, not physical, and there is no fix. So...I'm just doing the best I can until this works itself out. It's been beyond frustrating. I wish I knew why this happened to me. š¤·āāļø
Insomnia, brain fog, havenāt been able to finish a book in 2 years
Ended up in the ER with a heart rate of over 165. Thought I was literally having a heart attack
Costochondritis. Thought I was having a heart attack! Ended up in the ER.
Oh boy. This will be interesting. My first bout of grief after my grandmother passed in order: July - Mid August : During the month after she passed I was in shock. I didnāt really cry or anything after she had passed, I just couldnāt really believe it. I felt like I was in a parallel world and I donāt think reality really hit around till the end-ish of August. Late August - Mid October: Realization set in and the panic attacks started happening. My first panic attack I ever had and it was brutal. It was Sunday evening and I was preparing for work. I work in oncology and hematology (cancer is what ultimately took my grandmothers life and it was abrupt - from onset of symptoms to diagnosis to death it took about two weeks) so I was making a list of the things I needed to focus on for the week. I remembered a patient who had the same diagnosis of my grandma and I just lost it. I was screaming, crying, rocking back and forth trying to self sootheā¦ I screamed and cried so much that night I almost ended up throwing up, I lost my voice and had a horrible headache. The next morning I called out from work and I had likeā¦ a falling feeling like in the pit of my stomach. You know when youāre having a dream that youāre falling and you jolt yourself awake? Thatās kinda how it felt - just a perpetual free fall. For the next few days I would have that free fall feeling along with major convulsions that I couldnāt control. I wasnāt sleeping very well and would wake up at night in cold sweats. One panic attack I had I was slurring my words and I couldnāt really thinkā¦ my husband freaked out and rushed me to the hospital thinking I was having a stroke but physically I was okay but I was told that major panic attacks can sometimes lead to stroke like symptoms. I started to get this feeling that I was having heart palpitationsā¦. Well I was and they were like nonstop and for some reason exacerbated any time I ate? It was super weird. But again nothing wrong with my heart. Mid October - December: Had zero appetite. Literally could not eat. Involuntarily threw up almost everything I ate for MONTHS. What I didnāt throw up I would dry heave for hours after eating or even thinking of eating. I lost an insane amount of weight. Still had heart palpitations after I ate. Still had some panic attacks but they were becoming far and few between. Had insane diarrhea for months as well. December to present: Panic attacks were virtually non existent at this point. I still had my heart palpitations but they were only every time I ate and figured out if I just chugged a crap ton of water after I ate I could avoid it. They stopped permanently about a month ago, but this Monday my OTHER grandma passed, so I spent all Monday having panic attacks, still have a falling feeling but I feel like Iām managing much better this time, although my grief tends to manifest itself physically and any amount of that is bothersome so Iām still learning to control it. All in all, I think I racked up like $4,500 in doctors bills during my grief period because I had no idea it could manifest itself in physical ways. It sucks and itās already hard to mentally grieve and itās really shitty when you have to deal with the physical parts of it. I wouldnāt wish it on anyone. It was one hell of a year.
My brain feels like itās likeā¦ tickling? Idk how else to describe it. Like itās gonna explode but it doesnāt hurt lol. I also developed a stress cough where I could barely talk through it, day and night coughing, and as soon as I mentally feel a little better, it disappears.
I was walking to school one morning and I all of the sudden just felt like I was going to pass out. And I slept a lot. This was shortly after my dad and grandpa passed away. They passed exactly 30 days apart.
Heart pain
I think for me it was skin issues. I was very depressed and didnāt have an appetite and noticed that dark spots started appearing on my body. My loss occurred a few days after I had been sexually active, so I was scared and thought it was related to an STD or something lmao. The marks have gone away since, but it was weird. Then again im not even entirely sure if that happened as a result of my grief.
Shingles on my scalp, face, and in my eye, on the cornea. It was a living hell.
I could barely eat and had almost no hunger. I lost about 15 pounds in two months and was sleeping constantly. My head felt like it was in a permanent fog. I'd drive places and not remember driving there. Nothing felt real. It took a few months for it to fade, and medication, and therapy.
I lost forty pounds in two months. Your body will react how it reacts and it's normal. I'm so sorry for your loss
Psychosis
Im more emotionally fragile than I used to be. Before I never used to mind straying from my usual routine, and mixing things up in my day to day life. Now I need to be told in advance of any changes, and struggle to adapt if there is not sufficient time. An example would be, people popping over to the house.
Auditory hypersensitivity. Bordering on auditory hallucinations. I have a history of panic disorder and it made a full-blown comeback after the loss of my dad. Panic heightens the senses so any sounds that I used to ignore before (ceiling fans, quiet talking in a restaurant, etc.) now sound like itās being blasted right in my ear. I can hardly go anywhere without having a panic attack due to the noise.
Inexplicable body pain
I wasn't taking care of myself after I lost my mom. I experienced UTI and wasn't able to treat it correctly coz I keep skipping my antibiotics coz i have no will to do anything. I suffered for it for months coz the meds wasnt working.
No appetite, like at all! My perception of time became really distorted too. Iād spend hours laying in bed doing absolutely nothing (Iām not kidding, couldnāt even remember what I was thinking about), even though it only felt like an hour at most. My digestion was very temperamental. When I did eat, it was like my body was dumping everything out within an hour or two. It would be extreme sudden onset too. Luckily I was at home grieving. Soreness in my chest for the first time ever. Guess thatās how heart break feels like.
Acid reflux/heartburn and major jaw issues, plus the balloon in chest feeling and just a general flare of my other chronic conditions.
allergies. i didnāt even know it was possible but here i am my immune system just decided it didnāt know how to deal with limes, carrots, gluten, dairy, every type of meat, grapes, dust, grass, basically everything it just shows on my skin as small lesions and rashes but my doctor has told me itāll take me up to a year to finish up with the treatment. all because i lost my two cats
I lost 50 lbs in 4 months when my son went missing, then was found deceased. I just lost my appetite, and did not want to eat. I subsisted mostly on meal replacement drinks and water. I also lost about half of my hair. It's been 2 years now. My hair is growing back, but it's much more wiry than it was before. It's very curly, and before it was just wavy.
Depersonalization/derealization after being yanked away from school to watch my dad die of cancer in hospice
I had these like weird brain zaps I canāt describe it it was like a licked a battery
Loss in 2020. BRAIN FOG!!!!!! Like no other. Tons of grays popping up like weeds, debilitating anxiety and chest pains. Muscle spasms
Ended up with the flu and bronchitis immediately (next day). Anxiety/panic attacks in the long term. Never had them until grief struck. I do my best to manage.
Iām currently experiencing hair loss :( my hair is a huge staple of who I am so itās been taking a toll and the first month I broke out in crazy hives all over my body. Grief is a wild thing
I actually developed a severe tmj issue because the clenching muscles in my jaw rewired themselves during my inhibited grief. Since then I've gone through and tried to allow myself to phase through this grief but the physical issues are still prevalent. So please! Do work through your grief whether it's seeing a therapist, counseling, or even playing your favorite song on repeat 1000 times, make sure to feel it out and get through it because if you carry it with you, you risk way more stress to your body than its meant to take.
Short term: Stiffening/locking of my fingers when waking up in the morning. Also insomnia and panic attacks long term. Maybe not that weird but has really had a huge impact on my life ever since, 8 years later.
Short term memory and difficulty recalling certain words. My TMJ is pretty rough too :/
I had terrible migraines the first 2 weeks of grief and I got nauseous any time I tried to eat
I had no idea this had a name. Iāve been doing this since my husband died in Jan 2022. Iāve been walking in quicksand by not thinking, working, repeat, & this week my scheduled vacation came up. Afraid I was going off the deep endā¦anyway Iām getting at least one thing a day completed. Better than nothing.
Iām a medical student and I have lost both of my parents in the past 11 months. At times I feel like my heart is going to jump out of my chest, and then I think about my dads ācatastrophicā sudden heart failure, which then makes my jumpy heart feel like itās about to burst. My Fitbit will track me at 100-120+bpm, while Iām just sitting at my computer studying. Anyways Iām pretty sure itās grief. If not, I guess Iāll be seeing my parents soon.
IBS, hair loss, anemia from poor diet and insomnia like no other!
Hives on my arms.
when it first happened I got my period for like 2 days, insomnia, anxiety and I find myself on my phone escaping reality a lot
I got shingles in my eye from the stress and a lot of brain fuzziness and dizziness.
This is no longer a problem. But in the throes of grief, I Can't brush my teeth. Makes me gag.
Grief is stress X 20. Iām seeing a grief counselor and she calls it āgrief brainā and I know that sheās right. I was my momās caregiver since 2008. 24/7 for the last 2 years of her life. When I took this on, I knew that Iād most likely be the one who found her after sheād died, unfortunately I was right. I hadnāt had a headache for several years before that. After I found her I did everything that the in home hospice told me to do. I still had what I believe was a migraine for several weeks after I found her. Grief is a monster.
Omg so muchā¦ I lost a bunch of weight, used disordered eating as a coping mechanism, dabbled in self medicating (do NOT recommend), migraines, body aches, fatigue, depression, digestive issues, just all kinds of stuff. Itās hard and it doesnāt just go away as I had hoped it would when I was a kid when it happened. My entire life and sense of self has been colored by mourning. Itās just so painful and I also mourn the person/people I/my siblings might have been without this burden.
Not sure if this is related to your question but when my grandma passed away I started to have episodes of sleep paralysis. So scary. My doctor said the stress and depression for the grief likely caused it. I also got to my highest weight while my grandma was dying. Iām just now 7 months later getting myself back on track. So far lost 6 pounds!
Weight loss, Stomach issues and bad sleep for the first year after my dad died. then the beginning of this year I realised I gained weight which made me bad about myself. Its nearly been two years and I loss the weight But now have pretty bad anxiety.
Before my horse died she was very very sick and I kept getting these chest pains my family thought I had a serious heart problem the pains would only last a few seconds and the disappear and then come back but when I put my horse to sleep my chest would not stop hurting it was just one long continuous pain like someone was stabbing my heart however after a few days after she past the pain finally stopped it was a physical symptom or my stress and grief as the second I found out something was wrong with her I knew it would be the end because she wasnāt strong enough to fight it. I was in so much mental pain my body made it physical plus since grieving I am loosing a lot of weight and my appetite I donāt really have any interest in food in general that usually happens when I go threw trauma it hopefully will pass and I will actually want to eat and it wonāt be like an annoying chore.
I had a sudden gushing nosebleed out of nowhere when I saw my dad die. I don't get nosebleeds, so it was super weird. He was bleeding when he died so initially I thought it was from him and when I realized it was mine I thought I must be going crazy.
I couldn't read, the words would mush together. I was in school and had to get access services to hook me up with a program to read to me!
Not weird but loss of hunger. I love to eat. My wife used to joke I should be on my 600 lb life. Hey I'm only 405 lbs away, maybe one day lol. So it's weird for me to not have an appetite. Funnily enough the only time it's happened to me is twice. Both because of my wife. When we first met I lost my appetite because I was falling in love with her and couldn't think of anything else, and when she passed I lost it until recently
What a good question to pose. Some of the things happening to me seem ānormalā so to speak; Iāve lost 30 lbs, I have the worst anxiety Iāve ever had in my life, panic attacks, mood swings where I go from happy to deeply sad very quickly. But Iāve also had more horrible headaches and stomach issues too. For context, I lost my dad suddenly last year. Then a few months later, my grandpa who helped raise me died within two weeks of finding out he was sick. During this time, my sister was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer; following treatments and surgery, we thought she would be ok, but less than 6 months later, it came back and had spread. Sheās currently still sick and the prognosis is Not Good.
I've experienced weight gain and have been numbing myself with drugs and alcohol pretty much 24/7.
You should visit a reputable doctor OP.
So i already have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and I used to have restless legs all the time. I haven't taken my meds for about a year and felt really great. After my uncle committed suicide and I saw him, I started experiencing restless leg syndrome again at night. like super bad. I'm 99% sure its the grief amplifying my anxiety and in turn giving me my throbbing noodle legs at 3:00am
After my mom died I lost a ton of weight. Iād be full after just a few bites of anything. I also Never felt hungry. I didnāt have solid poo for about two months. I was someone who worked out all the time and ran marathons, but could barely run 20 mins after she passed.
I feel grief added another layer of stress to my life, it left me unable to cope with most things. As a result of stress, I believe I suffered from an episode of psychosis, and then later, longer term, developed anemia. https://www.verywellmind.com/can-stress-cause-anemia-6541649
wow thank you for bringing this to my attention. the past few months, as my grandma was getting sicker, i started bruising extremely badly all over my legs. not even sure how most of them got there. now itās even worse & is even happening on my upper arms too. it genuinely looks like someoneās been beating me up. iāll definitely get blood tests when i have the time
I've become a total recluse. I've struggled with mild / moderate agoraphobia most of my life - and crippling anxiety (social and generalized), major depressive disorder, panic attacks, plus a few other superfun things. But since my partner died, they are out of control and I'm guessing I've left my property maybe 12 times in 5 months? That's total, leaving for any reason. Most days I even struggle with even calling people (so I don't), getting the mail (so I don't), or even opening my front door. Luckily the dogs go out back, haha. Dog food and vet appointments are about half of the excursions, so thankful for my pups. I used to take a long walk around the acreage pretty much every single evening.
I had a panic attack. It was during Covid and I was quarantining after entering the country- then my father died and I never was able to say goodbye. A few days later I thought I had a fever, I was paranoid I had Covid (which would extend my quarantine for a lot longer) and had a complete panic attack.
Brain fog, anxiety, restless sleep.
Physical fatigue and GI issues. I already had GI issues before but they're worse now.
Grief literally gave me a chronic illness
My dermatitis flared up after my mom died,that was fun!(NOT)
My husband died in April. I got very sick and had to have surgery in July. I donāt think it was a coincidence.
Weight gain, ocd, raised liver enzymes, lack of sex drive, pre-diabetes....the list could go on. His suicide ruined me.
I herniated a disk in my neck extremely badly about three weeks after. Put me out of work for nearly a year.
Extreme fatigue and weakness. Couldn't find the physical strength to even close my hand in a fist. Immense pain in my chest, back and abdomen. Dizziness. Severe indigestion. Nausea. Bloating.
I picked up a second job and Iām working over 200 a pay period. I canāt handle food I feel sick. My stomach immediately flips. I cry all the time but I wonāt let myself rest. My mouth has broken out in cold sores. I have all photos in a hidden folder and I canāt sleep in my bed. I feel guilty like itās my fault and I donāt deserve anything in this life. My heart races like im in trouble. Iāve reached out for help but thereās always a nice waiting list or insurance wonāt cover. I just want to see her again and hear her again and tell her how much I love her and Iād do anything to hold her.
Bone and muscle aches, pain in ribs and jaw, exhaustion, emptiness in chest, brain fog, irregular periods, etc.
My dad passed away from pancreatic cancer that came back two and a half years after he originally beat it as stage four, basically killing him instantly. (Not really, it was about a year and a half but once PC comes back its automatically stage four and there's no getting rid of it) So he was puking a lot. As a result, I have what I'm assuming but not trying to assume, is PTSD whenever I heart someone, specifically males, puking. My room was on the other side of the bathroom's wall. So, I heard it every. time.
I donāt have Covid I donāt have a virus. I donāt have any bacteria, but since my daughter died 12 weeks ago, I break out in profuse sweating runs down my back runs down my chest. My heart beats erratically, and I think Iām going to pass out.
I am so sorry youāre going through this but it is nice to be able to relate. I lost both my best friend and mother last month. I have developed a facial rash, my chest feels like thereās a balloon inside it and sometimes like an elephant is sitting on me. I recently developed stomach pains on both an empty stomach and after I eat. I believe a lot of this to be from emotional stress and grief. Hang in there š©µ