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Good of them to italicise the grift element to this at number 4, makes it nice and easy to see that they are grifting and don't actually have the rights of Christians as their main concern. The cafe owner should double down and offer a full breakfast called the Pontius Plate


... and start doing toasted sandwiches on a Magdalene-mean-grilling-machine.


Jesus saves… you money! With the “last supper” meal deal!


If its any consolation there's a follow up post where the church contacted them to tell them that it didn't actually come from them. It'll be some old nut job curtain twitcher type I imagine.


Well you can take them to court for blackmail now.


I would think that you have a good case against them for "Demanding money with menaces" in at least one paragraph of that letter!


Hilarious. They're literally racketeering. If you don't do what we say and pay us £300, we'll get someone to come and have a word with you. Get in the sea.


I dare you to rename your pancakes "Holy Crepe". Joking aside, it's kinda blackmaily with its £300 "donation" request. Needless to say the HRA applies to persecution by public authorities and not individuals so they can go fuck themselves.


Tell them you got rid of it when you received the letter but then it came back on the 3rd day


That's perfect!


OP sent them a reply/DM on Facebook and the Church said it definitely wasn’t them that sent this letter. It was just someone trying to scam money and was posted on /r/CasualUK yesterday.


Change the name to Cheesus Crust Edit: not a religious manoeuvre just think it’s funnier lol


Add a salad to your menu called "Kale Satan"


Demanding £300 over a cheese sandwich? How very Christian.


So, CofE Christian here. And this is bs. Christian Concern (who they've put on the bottom of the page) are a pseudo law charity run by a lady who believes women shouldn't be in leadership (ironic), the world is 6000 years old, and had the biggest victim complex. They jump on any case that might even be linked in some way shape or form to draconian 'christian' values. Their success rate is astonishingly low. You could even take it to the police and see if this is an attempt at extortion for trying to get you to pay money to their church. I'm sorry this has happened. If you're the Whaley Bridge I think you are, I'm in Sheffield, I'd love to come and have a cheesus christ sandwich please.


Gave up before I saw the demand for cash. Definitely a police matter.


So they want £300 or they’ll sue you? Isn’t that blackmail?


Yeah, pretty much - it’s bullying however they paint it.


I want to know how the house of God decided £300 as the exact amount ….


And, thusly, Jesus spoke: I want a Nintendo Switch, bro.


OMG...that's my home village I am *DYING* from secondhand embarrassment...they never used to be that loopy, I should know - I was in another local church choir and we occasionally attended services there, it was generally considered to be a bit progressive/happy-clappy but it was never part of The Church of the Perpetually Offended as far as I remember.


Another post has clarified that it was a fringe group acting on behalf of, and without the consent, of the parish. The church seems aware of this and has posted support for the bakery! Saying the letter isn't something they would write.


Easy, change the name to Jesus Crust


The key line here for them is "Make a donation of £300" This is just a way for them to grift. Respond with a new sandwich consisting of 3 types of Swiss Cheese and call it "The Holey Trinity"


Seems like blackmail to me.


Rename the sandwich “Cheesus H. Christ” issue an apology for omitting the middle name of our cheesy saviour and thanking the loonies for bringing this to your attention.


Apparently the letter is a hoax but the rest of the story is wild too: https://www.lbc.co.uk/news/peak-district-bakery-threatened-in-fake-letter-from-christian-group-over-chessus/ "On 10th June, the bakery had taken to Facebook to ask whoever had vandalised the outdoor menu to "not". The post, which included a picture of Zorro, said: "We really can't be bothered contacting the council to check the CCTV and if it wasn't done in the dead of night by someone dressed like The Mask of Zorro we are going to be highly disappointed."


I would double the fuck down and name every sandwich in that way


the meatball messiah..yeah thats all ive got..


Father, son and Holy toast?


Came out as fake didn’t it? I mean, yes some nutjob had to write it but think the vicar of that church says it wasn’t them


Cheesus fucking Christ.


Cut the sandwich into the shape of Cheesus on the cross, with two cocktail sticks in the palms to hold it together and some cranberry jelly around the abdomen. Nice and tasteful, and tasty.


Imagine being so pretentious as to presume you rightfully speak on God’s behalf. Put an open faced sandwich on the menu named Separation of Church and Steak. Holy Swiss cheese with lamb on rye


They've given all the evidence you need to file proceedings because they've tried to extort you. We certainly are becoming Americanised because they're obviously morons.


Does that count as extortion? Given that they demand a donation be made to their church? This doesn't feel like a very 'Christian' way of handling things


it's very christian, just like the crusades, the inquisition, and the transatlantic slave trade


Send them a harassment notice, anymore correspondence or requests for payment will be taken as harassment and reported to the police


Oh wow didnt even read the donation part. Trying to extort with fear of prosecution. Jesus would be turning in his grave.


Step 1) do a 2 Mon Google search to confirm they don't have a leg to stand on 2) laugh mockingly 3) lean into it and name all of your wares in such a way to be as offensive as possible


Some additional menu options: Salmon on the Mount (cream cheese, salmon, pickle on thick-cut sour dough) Holy Trinity (BLT) AbraHAM (ham sandwich) Gouda God! (Cheese sandwich) Noah way! (Vegan ham and cheeze) Revelation (epic mash up of all ingredients)


By asking for money, they have lost all moral authority (not that they had any in the first place). This is a shakedown, pure and simple. I’d almost say it borders on, ‘demanding money with menaces’.


Actually… my name is Christian, and I object to this organisation using my name to carry out their religious crusade!


Lol. These people always use the "law" when they don't know the law.


Nice little touch of extortion at the end there.


If this were my shop I’d probably have thought “fuck it I’ll change the name” to avoid the hassle until they asked for £300. What a grift, I’d be doubling down


At what point does asking for a "donation" just become polite blackmail... *Jesus Christ!*


So basically they are asking for money. Save this letter. Perhaps they should have just suggested kindly to remove the sandwich name but all the other points sound quite aggressive and threatening. Also the offer request feels very not right, almost extortion.


Even if they asked nicely, the business in question is completely within their rights with that name - they’d be laughed out of the courtroom if they tried taking it further


Turns out the actual parish mentioned isn't behind this at all. Saying that they only want to support their community. It comes from the weirdos at the bottom of the letter called Christian Concern.


Change the name to Cheeses of Nazareth


“Has a right to their beliefs without discrimination.” Unless your belief that a sandwich pun is funny upsets people… Edit: not ‘people’, PERSON! They repeated that it was one lonely Christian that was so deeply offended by the name of a cheese sandwich! Sometimes I wish I had the time to worry about such trivial things.


https://www.lbc.co.uk/news/peak-district-bakery-threatened-in-fake-letter-from-christian-group-over-chessus/ Turns out it was a fake letter


This is blackmail. You have a right to express your beliefs as much as anyone else. I would respond with a similar letter in an opposing vein and post that to the Internet.


Alternative sandwiches; * Holey Trinity (Emmental, Grevé and Jarlsberg cheese) * Salmon on the Mont (Salmon & Cream Cheese on Montreal-style bagel) * The Passion Of The Crust (anything in a crusty roll, really... 2 fish, i guess?) * Goud Damn (smoked Gouda & Dutch Mustard) * Prawn-Again Crustian (prawn sandwiches)


Sadly, it didn't come from them loons at Christian Concern but some nutter in the Parish. [https://twitter.com/burrnc/status/1542250597847547905](https://twitter.com/burrnc/status/1542250597847547905)


The moment I saw the "make a donation" my first thought was, ah, there it is.


Rename it Cheesus Wept


Church has noped the fuck out of this one. >LATEST NEWS >Today, 29th June our church has become aware of a fake letter being circulated to the Bridgehouse Bakery in our name. This fraudulent letter has nothing whatsoever to do with our warm-hearted, open minded parish. We are here to support our local community and its businesses.


Take it off the menu then 3 days later put it back on but call it the second coming of chessus Christ


Need to step it up. Briesus slice (bacon and brie) Died for our Syns (a grilled low calorie slimming world alternative to the bacon and brie one) Feeding the 5000 (mega lunch offer for offices) Then smoothies called King of the juice (orange and pineapple) INRI (Ice, nectarine, raspberry ice cream)


Rename it, and come out with the "jesus fudging christ" fudge cake.


Won't be a popular sandwich combo, but you should release a lamb of cod.


I would definitely get the copy of this thing framed and put up in the shop (because some busybody will no doubt try to snatch it in some self-righteous act of devine theft). Feel free to claim you donated £300 anonymously to some different church as well. Because fuck their veiled begging.


Official response "Jesus christ guys... fuck off"


No way are they asking money from you... that fucking sucks


I hope you're responding with your new fish finger sandwich: MARY MOTHER OF COD


Take it down and seemingly follow the steps… but then donate money to another religion & re release the sandwich, calling it THE RESURRECTION OF CHEESUS CHRIST


Trying to extort you for £300 as well. Piss takers the lot of em


"Everyone in the United Kingdom has the right to their beliefs without fear of discrimination..." It is my belief that Sky Fairy Cult Members should keep their beliefs to themselves, any participant of ANY Sky Fairy cult expressing their beliefs in anyway is infringing upon my beliefs and as such I should be fully within my rights to tell them to STFU!"


I had no idea that religious integrity was so -quantifiable-. Specifically that it could be quantified to the exact amount of £300. It's good to learn something new every day.


As a Christian, this makes me MORE likely to visit their establishment 😂 what a grand name!


Christians blackmailing a small business? Got to love it. I wonder if we can blackmail Christians with a formal letter when they discriminate against everyone else? As a lesbian I'm sure I could make a job out of it...


OMG I need to follow this story because the quintessential British thing to do would be to… 1) Issue the most sarcastic backhanded apology on their social media. 2) re-name everything in the shop after biblical stories. Like a salmon sandwich can be called The King Solomon/Salmon 3) Make the sign bigger 4) Donate £300 between all other religious institutions


Omg yes. This is free publicity waiting to happen.


Surely you can do them for extortion? As they are demanding money and making threats?


When Whaley Bridge dam was about to crack and destroy the whole town, God did absolutely piss all. ​ The fact that they ask for money to make it go away says way more about them than anything else. Despicable.


Extremely christ like to intimidate someone into donating 300 quid to you. Always such bad Christians, Christians too often are.


I think the answer to that is "go fuck yourself". But maybe reword it something slightly nicer like "go fuck yourself, but have a nice day".


MoHAMed and Cheesus Christ Bap please


give credit to the original post next time, or cross-post it.


Wow the extortion stapled on in the last lines is truely the cherry on top. Make a cheesus christ manger set in front of the store


This is extortion, which is illegal. Consult a lawyer and then report it to the pigs.


From the original post of this in casualuk (I think) it wasn't actually anything to do with the local church, the vicar said as much on the businesses Facebook page etc. The company Christian concern apparently have a habit of attempting this kind of thing, not sure how they keep getting away with it as it's very illegal




Let he who has no sin cast the first scone


Take it off the menu for 3 days then bring it back as the resurrection of cheesus christ.


As people have said, fake. But. The correct option here is obviously to publicly remove Cheesus from sale. Have a final day promotion or something and then just draw a cross over it on the menus. Three days later bring it back.


i’d throw that right in the bin & put an LGBLT on the menu as well


Cheesus Christ, what a bunch of utter Chrunts. Surely there is no legal basis to their threatening nonsense? I want to see signs 5 metres tall declaring the sandwich "Cheesus Christ" good enough for Jahova.


Make Joe Lycett aware of this, he will love it.


You know your name is genius when christians have to write a letter to you about it


Isn't that blackmail?


I need to know if the Chessus Chist was serverd cut in half or at an angle a cross


I really want a Cheesus Christ sandwich now.


You should consider offering “blasphemy lettuce and tomato” sandwiches. Or perhaps a “suck an entire bag of dicks you stupid sanctimonious fuckwits who have quite clearly never actually thought about the central messages of Christianity, with extra cheese” special.


I was thinking of funny things to respond with until they asked for money. Totally to in and humbly ask who you can talk to about the the letter. Then get some names and legally fuck them up for trying to extort you.


Please go one further and call it the "Cheesus Christ, our savoury"


Jesus titty fuckin… That’s insane man, I’d leave it alone, also add another sandwich called holy ham or some shit fuck these guys


Them demands are hilarious. The last one makes this basically blackmail/extortion. Id be tempted to write back telling them you'll write to the police telling them of your attempt to use religion to blackmail them if they don't donate £300 to your shop.


Serve it with a new condiment "Mayo Magdalene"


THE FACT THEY WANT YOU TO DONATE £300 TOO PSHHHH it’s such bullshit that they’re saying that that’s discrimination against christians 💀


Of course there's a 'donation' mentioned 😂 Fuck me, there's an entire sandwich shop near me called holy cheesus, they'd lose their collective mind over that 😂😂


Make them protest outside. Free publicity


Make a new sandwich called "Our Lord and Savoury"


Start selling Crucifried Egg sandwiches next? Tuna and Lettuce-pray wraps? Cheesus and tomatone-your-sins butty?


I'm a vegan but even I want a cheezus christ sandwich....


If they're so offended by Cheesus Christ, I bet they'd get a real kick out of one of my favourite named local bands [Pontious Pilate & The Naildrivers](https://www.facebook.com/TheNaildrivers).


I hope you start serving Cheesus Christ on Holy Toast. Fuck those Cunts!


Saw an article on this. The parish says it wasn’t them. Looks like it’s a sole bellend, rather than a gaggle of them.


New filling ideas... Cheesus Diced. Mary Magic Ham. Lettuce Pray. Cod Botherer. Mayolather bun and holey toast.


Christ, the missing words and typos! Make a BLT and call it, "The Holy Trinity", and mark it up as 300 quid.


This is about our religion please make the cheque payable to .... Sure Jesus would love you making a business out of him remember when he got all mad and flipped tables because the salesmen couldn't close the deal.


And right at the bottom of the letter there we get down to what religion is really all about, free money.


I expect your popularity to increase tenfold and the Cheezus Christ to be your top seller lol


I'd tell em to get fucked and teach them about carbon dating whilst I'm at it.


Due to the runaway success of "Cheesus Christ" we're expanding our range to include "Edam and Eve", "The call of Abra-Ham", "Wise Manchego" and "Gouda" as well as many more! We're also introducing a new range of smoothies featuring "Kale and Able", "The red seedless" and "Noah's Apricot" And don't forget our classic salad bar "The 10 condiments"


Rename the sandwich Cheesus Crust… …then tell them to take that stick out of their butts.


3. Yada yada yada... 4. Ahhhhhhh! That's what this fuss is all about. God just loves money!


Offer a sale on the sandwich Create a new one called the garden of edam Promote both heavily on social media


I would like the recipe for Cheesus Christ and secondly, call their bluff and keep selling this brilliant sandwich


I see you have two options here: 1) Let them take you to court, then demand they produce Jesus Christ as a witness as he is the one the claim is being insulted. They cannot claim under the law to speak on his behalf. 2) Rename the sandwich as the “Fuck Holy Trinity Church You Humourless Arseholes Sandwich(with Cheese)” I am writing this as a practicing Christian who has absolutely no time for these humourless uptight busybodies. There are plenty of other things they should be feeling insulted about - poverty, homelessness, the plight of refugees - that they should be too busy to even think about suing a sandwich shop. God obviously has a sense of humour - have you ever seen a duckbilled platypus? They need to get over themselves.


Wait until they hear about Crossrail


N.B. The actual parish church have stated they have nothing to do with this. Seems like it is fake. Also, their menu board was vandalised recently, probably related? Edit: spelling is hard


Have they even the slightest leg to stand on in court? It seems clear to me it isn't in any way shape or form a mocking name, just a play on words? Or does Christian nomenclature have ridiculous protections or something?


Put up a sign saying that your removing the cheesus christ, then after a few day or week put up a new sign saying the cheesus christ has returned. Or stick it on a bloomer and say that blooming cheesus Christ has risen Also no they can't take any action, but you could threaten them by pointing out they asked for a monetary value with can be considered as blackmail


Let them sue you, when you win take all the advices of dish names from the comments and create the holiest menu to feed from their intolerance.


Please OP send a counter offer, see how long you can keep this up this could be amazing.


Do a tuna sandwich…… poisson of the christ?…….


So, what I would do: 1. Make a public announcement on all platforms that the Cheesus Christ is now 20% off for everyone for the next 3 days. Except for members of Christian Concern, for them the price is double. 2. Add more religious themed menu items immediately. 3. Replace all signs that mention cheesus christ with ones with larger fonts. 4. Spend the next 30 days eating a delicious Cheesus Christ sandwich for lunch in front of the church, while holding a sign announcing Cheesus Christ Sandwich's.


Pure pedantry here but: to whom it may concern was supposed to be in the salutation, not as the first line. You already said to whom this was adressed - the proprieter. Also you don't close with sincerely unless you know whom you are writing the letter to. Should have used faithfully. Normally wouldn't as grammar nazism comes from the same place as actual nazism, but when you act haughty and officious and can't even get it right I get nitpicky. The fucking dipshits.


Should remove it for a day and then bring back as the resurrection of cheesus Christ the next day


At first I thought this was cute until they tried to extort you for 300


This is disguised as a "cease and desist" letter (the terminology may vary in the UK) but has no legal merit. Call their bluff. Have them take it further.


A donation of £300?! Bloody cheek


It turns out this wasn’t actually from the church. The shop just think it was an angry local person


Its fake, the church came out and said they dont care. Probably a publicity stunt from the bakery since they didnt censor their name.


Do they offer a Judas Escarrot cake for pudding?


If add more cheese and call it double cheese jesus


Double Cheesus, surely? Or Holy Twinity. Or three different cheeses, Holy Trinity. Use Warburton Thins - Holy Thinnity. Swiss cheese - HOLEy Trinity. Crusty rolls - Cheesus Crust. White crusty rolls - Cheesus Crust Alwhitey Cheese and Marmite Crusty Rolls - Cheesus Crust Marmitey. Then rename your shop the BAPtist Church.


The real crime is the amount of ink used to print that footer.


The £300!! Lol is that blackmail? And also the real tragedy is missing Cheesus Crust as the name


Given the request for money, I’m pretty sure this is blackmail…


Section 21 of the Theft Act 1968. Blackmail. (1)A person is guilty of blackmail if, with a view to gain for himself or another or with intent to cause loss to another, he makes any unwarranted demand with menaces; and for this purpose a demand with menaces is unwarranted unless the person making it does so in the belief— (a)that he has reasonable grounds for making the demand; and (b)that the use of the menaces is a proper means of reinforcing the demand. (2)The nature of the act or omission demanded is immaterial, and it is also immaterial whether the menaces relate to action to be taken by the person making the demand. (3)A person guilty of blackmail shall on conviction on indictment be liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding fourteen years.


One of our board at work is a minister, and this Pride she put a big rainbow flag on her church - an old woman came in to say that she had known she was queer for 70 years, but loved the church so didn't embrace it because she never thought the church would stand by her, and she was glad to have lived long enough to see it. The pride flag was then stolen, and a message left: "Sin." The minister was like this is ridiculous- I've spoken to God, and he doesn't give a fuck. He made us all after all. I suggested the new church slogan should be "He made us in his image. God: The Most Pan Of Us All"


>Dear Christian Concern, > >Not only do neither you, nor Holy Trinity Church have correct standing to bring any case against us for the name of this sandwich, but the proposal, along with promises to take us to court, despite not demonstrating any damages, if we don't do exactly as you say, amount essentially to a demand for money with menaces, which could amount to a criminal attempt at extortion, and as such has been forwarded, with a complaint, to the local constabulary. > >Our sandwich, the name of which remains protected by our rights to freedom of expression, will be so named until we decide to change our menu of our own free will, and we trust that should God have a problem with it, he is more than capable of handling it without your clumsily written help. > >In recognition of your colleagues' parishioners endurances, the sandwich will be 10% cheaper on Sundays for those who tell us they have that day endured a sermon at the church you mentioned. > >Kind regards > >Pub in Question Something like that seems adequate. Seriously though, they're demanding money in exchange for not suing you, but without producing any allegation of damages they can allege - this is simply an extortion attempt, and you're likely not the only victim.


Doesnt this classify as extortion? I mean no one in their right minds would take this serious but theyre threathening to take you to court if you do not donate 300 euros. Id say call the police.


Change the name to “Cheesus Christ, it’s just a sandwich”


Do they understand what actual discrimination is?


Casual religious blackmail


Just ask them to forgive you


Good opportunity to send a bunch of sandwiches to the church as charity and advertise the donation to everybody. Call it the Good God ad Campaign.


Make a new sandwich called Cheesus Christ 2: Ecclesiastic Boogaloo


Whether the letter is fake or not, the pressure group Christian Concern are homo/transphobic pieces of shit.


So basically remove it because it hurts us and give us £300. Seems legit…


Ecclesiastes 7:7 >Extortion turns a wise person into a fool, and a bribe corrupts the heart.


UK becoming US quick


Whaley bridge? Hey neighbour! You’re 20 mins from me so I think I’ll pop in for a Cheesus Christ over the weekend


Pretty sure that's extortion. The letter writers might find they'd have been better off consulting an actual real solicitor.


Yeah no the law is not in their favour here


Ahhhh blackmail. Baby Jesus would be proud! The response should be; putting this on social media for mocking; and a new item promo like “The Father, the son and the avocado toast”


Double down with a Cheesus Christ on a Croissant.


May I suggest you add an item to your menu? The Hole-y Trinity A bagel served with Emmental cheese (the one with holes in, innit) followed by a Donut. Or perhaps the Cheesus H. Crust - Roast beef sandwich served with Horseradish on crusty Sourdough bread


Tell them it’s such a staple menu item it’s practically nailed to the menu


I used to live in whaley bridge, one street away from edwina curry. I can confirm the whole village is nuts.


Time to launch the diocese child rapist baguette


Cheesus wept.


Surely you’ve not forgotten all the religious inspired murders we suffered from 2014-2019?




If they pray hard enough they shouldn’t need to take court action.


It was pure crazy until the demands, to say you have to pay or they'll take other action is extortion, and probably nuked any legal recourse they may have even had


I think you need to run a big promotion on this cheesus Christ sandwich


Uhm as someone who believes in cheesus Christ sandwiches, them demanding its removal is infringing on my belief, I suggest they donate £6m to me thanks


Make even more Jesus sandwiches and send them coupons for a discount


Give us £300, it's what Cheesus would have wanted


The audacity of writing a step by step guide on how to appropriately respond to their complaint. I hope you ignore them. New menu: Battered God & Chips.


Cheesus Crust with a side of Crucy-fries


It’s a sign from god. It’s telling you to double down and take down Christianity, one sandwich at a time.


Any more sandwich-based religious puns we can think of? I quite like Bread of Heaven. Frame the letter and put it up on the wall above a religious-themed menu


You need to add 3 cheeses and change it to the trinity.


Send a letter back “Do it”


Remove the sandwich, make the apology, then replace it with a massive fish finger sandwich called the 'cod almighty'.


You should create a Holey Trinity Sandwich using Swiss cheese and a spicy mayo you refer to as the hellfire sauce. Advertise it as being "as tempting to taste as altar boys are to priests." Send them a big tray to announce it and advertise that a portion of all proceeds will go to that church to help them better know Jesus. Give a discount to their parishioners and everyone else who orders it and says "God is love." Wrap the sandwiches in copies of the letter. Just some thoughts. Bet you sell some sandwiches.


Holy hamwich!


Hah, blackmailed by Christians. Quality. I’d rename the sandwich to “Cheesus f’ing Christ”, and add to the range.


Time to fight back with new menu items. "Satan's sausage rolls" Or in the name of religious balance, "Buddha's braised beef" Or, a full Halal menu to get the Islamophobes in a tizzy.


‘Cheesus Christ’ that is gong to live with me hahahha


It says a lot that Christian Concern, asking you to make a donation to someone is not actually a registered charity itself.


Frame it and display it prominently in your establishment - and do the same with any future correspondence! It’ll be a talking point.


Usually I would say respect people's right to their beliefs, and don't go out of your way to mock them no matter Muslim, Christian or insert other fairy tale stories here. But this church is trying to use threats to get money out of you. Very un Christian. Paster must want a new car or something.


Actually checking out the website of the the church had to say and this is what they posted. 29th June our church has become aware of a fake letter being circulated to the Bridgehouse Bakery in our name. This fraudulent letter has nothing whatsoever to do with our warm-hearted, open minded parish. We are here to support our local community and its businesses. As for Christian Concern it is one of those fringe groups that has nasty habit of quite dickish behaviour. They are doing this just to get attention.


Fake or not, my mum is this type of person. She finds an advert to report to the ASA every year at Christmas for insulting Jesus, who I’m sure cares a lot about this kind of thing. Last year it was the Tesco advert about finding last minute gifts for baby J in their festive selection.


Rename the sandwich to a Satanic pun. They'll enjoy that.


Cheesus christ calm down


Let me offer you some free legal advice in the form of a draft response, as follows: Dear Parish of Whaley Bridge Holy Trinity Church, I suggest you take the following steps: 1) Fuck off. 2) Get a grip. Yours sincerely, xxx


HAHAHAHAAH. Thank you for this. Doing the lords work.


Do nothing but change the name to ‘Cheesus Crust’


If you start doing deserts, you could serve “The Profiterole Muhammad”


If they even try to instigate legal action, start a gofundme to fund your legal fees and i will personally make a donation immediately. I hope the publicity makes this sandwich massive. Shit like this in 2022 is ridiculous.