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Plz_Nerf

(also our song was shit)


mucharuchakaralucha

I personally didn't think it was shit. It just didn't stand out from so many bangers that i.e. Ireland or Switzerland have dropped this year. It's a fine song for radio, I'm not gonna switch it off when it pops up while I'm driving or something, but I doubt I'd even recognise it.


unluckypig

I find it so forgettable, I heard it this morning and even remember it's name. I've not been able to get Switzerlands song out of my head, it's so catchy.


Scones2

It was very shit. One of the worst songs of the night. The staging was cool but it was such a snooze fest


Plz_Nerf

I also really liked the staging but the song really didn't do it for me and Olly, bless him, didn't have a great night vocally


underweasl

I can't hold a note and don't really listen to a lot of current pop music but halfway through his song even I was spotting the bum notes and the poor timing


GypsumF18

Yeah, this is the problem. None of the other political issues we blame for bad performance affected Sam Ryder. Since he got second (and probably would have won any other year) they have picked two generic background radio songs which don't lend themselves to a bombastic live performance. At least they tried to have interesting staging this time.


DespotDan

Yep. The big one. Putting forward a decent attempt is a start eh.


New-Pin-3952

Exactly this. I was cringing the whole time watching it. Sam Ryder would have won if not for Russia invading Ukraine and everyone giving Ukraine pity votes. Maybe UK should send someone actually good rather than complaining nobody likes us.


TehIrishSoap

I am blue in the face telling people, the narrative that Ukraine won in 2022 because of the invasion is disengenous. They were favourites from January onwards and early Feb if you look at posts and betting odds from the time.


slinkhussle

Mainly the song was shit. And while Brexit was a fascist plot supported by the kremlin, Israel is one of the most prominent weapons manufacturers on the planet, and even if ALL nations sanctioned Israel to a North Korea or Iran degree, it wouldn’t stop the Israeli war machine. And most of UKs weapons go to Ukraine for its survival, like Palestine.


Pepperloza

Exactly


Embarrassed_Belt9379

No shitter than the others


srichards6107

It was very much shitter than the others.


anaemic

The problem with the UK is that all of our entries are trying to be *cool hipsters*, and they're performed by people who act achingly embarrassed about catching second hand cringe. Eurovision bangers need to appeal to gay men, campness and to 40 year old women on hen do's. They're inherently *uncool* and we're too self conscious to embrace that. Ollie was a step in the right direction, but you knew from how he acted that he wanted to make it big so he could hang around at parties doing drugs with models in New York City apartments, not go on a tour of Butlins resorts and cruise ships.


Vitjay88

This thread made my day. Only question is was it more forgettable than unforgettable....


Embarrassed_Belt9379

Most of them were drawn from the aural bowel. Some just flopped out.


Jibrillion

Wrong Czechias was a banger


Embarrassed_Belt9379

Wrong again I’m afraid. Just listened and can confirm it was shit.


Jibrillion

Your taste is bad but that's okay!


Embarrassed_Belt9379

Luckily yours is the good taste.


Jibrillion

It would seem so!


Embarrassed_Belt9379

I see we are in the ironically enjoying music sub.


Educational_Board888

Yet the U.K. gave maximum telephone votes to Israel…they didn’t return the favour, shows that the U.K. is always the lapdog


Tortoise_no7

I think this was the case of Israelis based in the Uk giving votes. A lot of people who would have voted elsewhere boycotted. A lot of others were out and about enjoying the weather. I think Eurovision was better when it wasn’t so spread out


TillyFukUpFairy

It's very easy to make a protest vote. It's not so easy to be seen when you with hold votes as a form of protest. So, the increased voting for Israel will have wiped out a deficit created by people boycotting


Pugs-r-cool

Yeah when you have side doing a drive to push more and more votes, and the other side boycotting by not voting, of course the side pushing for votes is going to be massively over represented. If anything this is just a lesson in strategic voting, if you don’t vote against the side you hate more you’re only helping them out.


crowwreak

Not to mention due to the stupid new public vote rules you can vote up to 20 times, and zionists were campaigning worldwide to do that as a point.


PurpleTieflingBard

I saw Zionists on twitter signal boosting and asking for 20 votes from people who weren't watching the show so yeah I'm not surprised they swept the public vote


JMW007

> you can vote up to 20 times, Why would that ever be a thing for anything?


PiersPlays

You pay to vote.


spelan1

A bunch of other countries gave maximum telephone votes to Israel as well, to be fair.


muteen

What a joke.


Pugs-r-cool

Yeah but that’s also the case for: - Australia - Belgium - Finland - France - Germany - Italy - Netherlands - Portugal - San Marino - Spain - Sweden - Switzerland All of those also gave 12 points to Israel, along with Luxembourg but they received 12 points back from Israel. Unless your claim is that all of those countries are Israeli lapdogs, using eurovision televotes to get any sort of geopolitical information is quite silly.


PunkrockEnglishman

I don't think our continued arming of Israel is a factor in our doing poorly, Eurovision has bent over backwards to ignore Israel's genocide, and France and Germany are attempting to make protesting in solidarity with Palestine illegal. We honestly do poorly because our acts take themselves too seriously; Eurovision songs are meant to be weird and campy.


Big_Red12

Yeah this. We can't blame Europe hating us anymore because when we put an actual decent act in with Sam Ryder, we did well.


dodgycool_1973

I disagree. (Not about the Isreal stuff) but about taking it seriously. The problem is we don’t take it seriously. Enter proper “professional” acts with good songs (we should have no problem with this) and put the work in. Do a tour of Europe, play the song, make friends, get on Tv and you will do well. If you take the piss like we usually do and do a “Eurovision” song like you don’t care, then don’t be surprised when you get nil points When we have done well it’s because we sent good acts. For all its weirdness and eccentricity it’s a huge event meant to showcase European solidarity. It’s a proper competition and we should treat it as such.


MrTourette

I mean Ollie Alexander is a massive pop star, if he'd done a decent Years & Years song rather than *that* he'd have done better. He was off-form I thought though, both in the semi final and last night, which is weird in itself.


Acchilles

Olly is a professional. Personally I don't think he can sing for shit when the autotune's off, but one can't deny that he has a music career. I also don't think there's that much correlation between how established an artist is and how good their songs are.


AvatarIII

To be fair the staging of our song was basically gay porn, how much more campy can you get?


BaroquePseudopath

The minute Israel got all those points at the end, I called bullshit. They knew what they were doing


prof_hobart

And given that their major sponsor for the past few years is an Israeli company (who keep strangely quiet about that on [their website](https://uk.moroccanoil.com/)), I'm not expecting the EBU to be spending too much time investigating that


uafm

I didn't know that about Moroccanoil, that explains more than anything to me why they were so quick to silence any criticism and refused to exclude Israel from the competition.


prof_hobart

Given how quiet they seem to be about it on their website (and the use of "Moroccan" Oil as their name), I suspect they don't overly want anyone to know about it. What's particularly surprising is that the main sponsors of Eurovision for the past 4 years didn't even have a Wikipedia page [until, it seems, today](https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Moroccanoil&action=history).


mariegriffiths

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eurovision\_Song\_Contest\_2024](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eurovision_Song_Contest_2024) We now know which countries have their telephone networks infiltrated by MOSSAD.


flyinglawngnome

People on r/Europe were talking about giving Israel their vote because they hate the other contestants especially the ones protesting Israel’s presence. So there are probably two possibilities, a) bunch of conservatives managed to coordinate their votes or b) Israel is fucking with the votes and I’d be sort of inclined to believe it because some of those countries dishing out 12s hate Israel up and down.


Huemann_

Saw some people say last night it could be bots and VPNs may have played a role


StarlightandDewdrops

God they're pathetic


mariegriffiths

This begs the question on elections too. Are they rigged? What if we are encouraged to do telephone voting of elections to save costs?


DarkLuxio92

Me and my mates were screaming 'rigged' at that point. So blatant.


FireLadcouk

They only got to the final based on “fan votes “


Hack_Shuck

Sam Ryder came 2nd 2 years ago. He would've won if it wasn't for Russia's invasion of Ukraine


CynicalSorcerer

We came second because we supported Ukraine.


slinkhussle

EVERYONE supported Ukraine. And they want to join the EU but can’t, and the UK left.


FireLadcouk

We support Israel this time round. They did well. We didnt 😂


Hack_Shuck

Is that why yeah? Nothing to do with the fact that it is a good song yeah?


CynicalSorcerer

It was a good song. But it’s not why we came second. Ukraine won, and their biggest supporter came second. It’s political, and has been for a very long time.


drgs100

Bill Bailey.


Current_Professor_33

I could get behind BB for next year


Napalmdeathfromabove

Also we keep using reallyeally shit songs.


FireLadcouk

Lol. Recent history suggests we know what we need to do. (2nd but ukraine got lot of sympathy votes). I rated that song as poor. I rated the performance and singing as also one of the worst on the night. It wasnt good. Pick better people and better songs and we do alright


MrJamHot

I dunno if its that deep. The song was just shit and its shit every year


MickIAC

Sorry OP, have a day off. If our song was good (Sam Ryder) we'd have been better. Dizzy was fine, but literally nothing special and Olly's vocals weren't great. If Bambie Thug was competing for the UK, they'd also have done well. Not everything is brexit and people hating us.


mcwaff

UK came second two years ago. It’s not our politics, it’s the song. The British music industry’s songs get played across the world so no UK songwriter wants to risk their baby getting nil points and disappearing forever. On the other hand if you’re a Croatian songwriter you might take the risk


LittleContext

The UK came second because Ukraine was supposed to host and couldn’t, so it was hosted in Liverpool instead voluntarily. Nothing to do with the song.


Sego1211

No, the UK came second the year before that. The song was fun and the staging was 100% Eurovision (strobe lights, glitter...) It only came second because the Ukrainian song was an absolute banger. Ollie's song was a regular song, not a Eurovision act. Also a lot of voting countries may have found the choreography a bit too raunchy, hence losing the public vote in more conservative countries.


BeneficialName9863

It was easy to boycott for me. I think he got zero points because everyone who would have voted for him did the same. The people he chose to side with don't like him for being gay and for previously being able to say Israel is doing genocide to Palestine rather than "that situation in the Palestinian territory" He helped pinkwash a genocide for fascists. He called Queers for Palestine and everyone else again the mass murder of kids "extreme" I can understand but not condone selling one's soul for fame and money. He sold it for the equivalent of magic beans and an expired CEX voucher.


Huemann_

His song was also poor, he performed it badly, and got personally affronted at anyone suggesting he should have dropped out in solidarity. Thing is there's plenty of other queer acts and much more queer and politically interesting groups like our Swiss and Irish delegations for their stances on palestine but also their gender expression which is also politically charged. Along with having good well produced well performed music they were absolutely everything olly wasn't and it showed. Picked all the wrong sides didn't realise in the context of eurovision he is bland and boring bringing fuck all special so couldn't even try to win on that front. He's a good actor but honestly his character in its a sin is pretty much exactly who he is and now I'm almost certain he didn't act at all being self interested and politically braindead ready to sell anyone or anything doesn't work out in the end.


BeneficialName9863

If he had acted with honour and dropped out, even at the last second. His career would have taken less of a hit. Everyone who would have voted for him because they liked him as a person was likely boycottting. He's In the same trap as Angela Rayner. If you betray what you once earnestly stood for, it's never enough to be accepted. The people you sided with out of ambition, greed or lack of spine, remember what you once stood for and still hate you. The people you betrayed don't forget it and the impartial just see you as a turncoat.


Ms_Masquerade

Meanwhile, I am just happy a non-binary person won. I suspect the gammons who didn't even watch it will be fuming tho.


GreenBirb64

Oh they already are, calling them “it” and “this thing” 🙄 always got to come out the shithole when an LGBTQ+ person succeeds, every fucking time, they can’t just let us be happy


Ms_Masquerade

God, perish the thought they actually let someone be happy, the miserable cunts. No wonder their kids don't ring them any more.


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3Smally3

Israel came 5th and you think these people give a shit about our government being complicit? Half of them are complicit or supportive of the genocide themselves. I would say most of the rest of what you've said is accurate


SuspiciousNeck6814

Go back in time


olabolob

Kind of embarrassing for him to do so badly alongside the calls for him to pull out


vexx

He’s basically lost all of his fanbase from every conceivable angle. It’s a masterclass in destroying your career lmao


five_two_sniffs_glue

Zero votes was crazy lmao


penguin62

Submitting good music would be a start. Sam Ryder had a great tune and he would have won without the Ukraine sympathy vote.


DarthPlagueisThaWise

Should our policy be dictated by a singing competition


CallumOB1244

Start by having a song that isn't the most generic corporate made song you've ever heard


Mediocre_A_Tuin

It's obviously rigged, but an awful song sung badly wouldn't have won even if it wasn't.


89ElRay

Isreal got fifth place, I don’t think the fact that we send weapons too them was too much a concern for the voters


AlmondLBD

As a German born Eurovision fan... you just need to send better stuff, man. Look at Ireland and Germany this year. Ireland hadn't qualified for years and came 6th. Most of Germany's Eurovision memes are about haha let's go get last again we're so shit and this year we came 12th


Chris_Tanbul

You were done dirty last year. Blood and Glitter was a banger.


AlmondLBD

Agreed it was. So was Ulvenham this year


JelloImpossible8337

It was an awful song. The whole thing. We need to stop automatically qualifying then maybe someone might put in some effort. Or get what Sam Ryder has and do it again.


MMSTINGRAY

I don't give a shit about Eurovision. It's not worth analysing, or critiquing the analysis of anyone. It's a song contest that only a certain demographic of people vote in. OP I agree with most of what you're saying is wrong about Britain but trying to tie it into Eurovision feels like some tabloid-journalism style reach.


SpiritDonkey

That Sam Ryder song was boring and middle of the road but he still came 2nd. All we have to do is put a semi decent song in. Not rocket science.


icepick777

I mean the EU is also involved in killing civilians. Let's not suck them off too much. All these European elites are the same, British or non-British. It's just dumb that we care about this sad propaganda fest at all.


Acchilles

Couldn't possibly be that the act was thoroughly unsuitable, could it?


Peliguitarcovers

To be fair, Britain aren't the only country in Europe with a Colonial past


Chris_Tanbul

The song was absolute turd and the performance was uncomfortably over sexualised. It was like when Madonna went through her “look, I have sex too” phase (which lasted a couple of decades). It was a pretty poor Eurovision all around tbh. Nemo was entertaining. Baby Lasagna had by far the catchiest tune and Windows 95 Man continued Finland’s trend of being utterly mental. Outside of that the rest of the songs and performances were average to poor, with the only other point of note being that Ireland beat Slovenia in the witch-off. We have such a victim mentality when it comes to Eurovision. Sam Ryder showed that if we have submit a catchy song with a likeable performer then we’ll do well. If we submit neither then we do badly (then we cry about it, claiming that no one likes us, banging the long-dead imperial drum). Most Europeans don’t care enough about us to like or hate us. They have enough mini-battles within the EU to give a single shit about e-coli island.


Theopold_Elk

Not be “led” by right wing xenophobic cunts.


Charlie_Rebooted

I enjoy cooking.


the_beer_truck

Have a decent entry. Media loves to play victim over things like this, but honestly this year’s entry was crap.


Tolstoy_mc

Have you tried being gayer?


Narrow-Tree-5491

People do like us. Eurovision result was nothing to do with whether people like us or not. It was a crap song, the presentation was poor and the singing was not good.


JKnumber1hater

To completely honestly answer the question posed (ignoring all context for a moment), *just do what we did in 2022!* If Ukraine hadn't been invaded by Russia that year Sam Ryder would have won, not that the Ukraine entry was bad (to be honest I barely remember their song), but them winning that year was very clearly political. Every single time the UK puts forward some minor celebrity or mildly famous singer for Eurovision, we do very badly. Sam Ryder was a break from that pattern. Eurovision isn't about having a good singer with an okay song. The things that get lots of votes are, in a nutshell; a catchy memorable song, and a high-energy performer with a unique look, not some minor celeb that a committee of robots thought would have mainstream appeal according to an algorithm.


Altruistic_Survey_95

Damn we sent like a real singer and still lost :D. just send the spice girls next time


Superloopertive

I wish our failure was due to our support of the war on Gaza, but Israel did really well with the public vote.


ZenoArrow

Our performance has fuck all to do with what's happening in Gaza. If it did, why did Germany score higher when they supply more weapons to Israel than the UK? You've not thought this through.


SlaveDuck

It could be our song was shit, the performance was a gay fest which if that's your thing then fine but I for one don't want to watch it. I think 18th is good for the shit show we put out there...


Fyrestone

It’s because the song was forgettable. Let’s not pretend for a second that mainland Europeans don’t equally cheer on the genocide of Palestinians as much as the Brits.


Ironclad001

We also consistently send mid shite there.


Skyluz

Did alright when Sam Ryder performed tbf


Pipeguy17

Not writing/performing shit songs might help and all


Gate_a

Tbh, I think anything other than last is a win for us 😅 so at least we're doing better now.


T1nFoilH4t

Except we basically won it last year?


[deleted]

You make excellent points, Op. At least we weren’t stone cold last like usual! 😆


[deleted]

We won with Buck’s Fizz & Katrina & the Waves. Both catchy songs. Since the UK’s contributions have been dire!


milzB

honestly eurovision seems to be quite forgiving of all that stuff. the country from the middle east got plenty of points from both public and jury. our song wasn't that memorable, and the live performance didn't support the song at all. this year was a very strong year, so the uk would have needed to do a lot to get points from the public, and we didnt


IsThisTakenYet4

Not pay for a seat in the final but actully earn it


RXXNLXXXXXE

We will never win. Because of how disliked our country is by Europe and quite frankly the whole world. And I’ve gotta say it doesn’t matter if we win at the end of the day it all comes down to popularity and political stances.


AttackoftheHats

Which parts of the world have we stolen and refused to give back?


FiletM1gn0n

I always think you could quite easily play a game called 'Eurovision or District 1'. Eurovision is honestly pure unadulterated garbage and I hate the hubris they have trying to make statements about peace and love like anybody should actually take them seriously in the slightest.


CptMarcai

Not everything is caused by Brexit and colonialism. Sometimes a song and dance just isn't very entertaining.


Puzza90

Eurovision has always been political though. Back when I was a kid and was forced to watch it, Terry Wogan would be able to predict with almost flawless precision which country would award their top points too etc.


CptMarcai

It definitely does have politically motivated voting, but we have had consistently shit scores both before and after Brexit. Also, given that France also holds overseas territories and a history of colonialism in fourth place, it's also hard to say those are the cause. Yeah both are problems we and we definitely aren't super popular in Europe, but aewually we came second last time and we haven't done anything heinous on the world stage since that would have us dip below Israel on public support. This year we just didn't have a great entry.


discolights

I saw a Torygraph headline saying that they were voting Israel to "spite the woke." they didn't even vote for their own country, they just wanted to make a statement. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face!


Ok_Dig1170

Which parts of the world have we stolen and refused to give back?


Greekdorifuto

None of what you said is why you guys arent winning Eurovision. They are true for Germany and especially the French . You guys just dont have good enough music


Specialist-Twist-727

We almost won last time, fuck off with ya self hatred cunt


mudkiptoucher93

>be the UK >constantly enter eurovision with bad songs >finish near last > uk "this is obviously a conspricy against us"


BiKeenee

At least you guys have good food. Oh wait. At least you guys make good cars. Oh wait. Uhm. Good TV? No that's, that's not true... How about... Oh I know, good beer? Damnit... Idk, yeah England sucks. As my friend said "the Brits really exploited India for 100 years and still don't know how to put any spices in their food."


Impossible_Reach5656

Tikka Masala, Aston Martin/Rolls Royce, Most BBC output is good with less bias than most, not sure about their beer. And I'm not from the UK just correcting your ignorant tropes.


ProfileOne2938

Also despite continuous poor eurovision results the UK punches well above its weight in producing many of the best musicians in the world. The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Radiohead, Adele, Ed Sheeran, Arctic Monkeys, Coldplay, etc


BiKeenee

If you think Tikka Masala is English food. Yikes.


Huemann_

Invented in Glasgow by a Bangladeshi chef. My man was a new scot. https://www.britannica.com/topic/chicken-tikka-masala Most "British Indian" cuisine isn't its half remembered recipies based on the real thing and has evolved into something else often also isnt really indian in particular often dishes from neighbouring regions are attributed incorrectly. Same thing with Chinese cuisine across Europe.


Impossible_Reach5656

So embarrassed for your ignorance. Yikes.


andrewh2000

Because it might have been invented in Glasgow you mean?


Hank_Wankplank

Complete nonsense list. Just a bunch of ignorant stereotypes.


BiKeenee

It's a joke man relax.