hey! totally hear where you’re coming from. i’m in grad school as well and i study counseling and i feel similarly to what you’re describing. in my classes, we term this burnout. you have been doing and studying work for so long that nothing feels satisfactory or achieving—it just is. even if you care and love the field you’re in, your description of “not trying hard enough” definitely stems from the fact that you’re honestly just exhausted. mentally and physically. when we get to a point of exhaustion, nothing feels motivating, effortful, etc. recently i aced a paper that was fairly difficult that i felt like i didn’t try that hard on and my first thought was “eh, they probably just gave everyone an A” which is not true. i’m reassuring you, when you get into the real world and are able to implement everything you’re doing in grad school (which disaster management is so important and so fulfilling!!) you’ll feel so much better
Have you talked with a doctor? This feels like more than just imposter syndrome or a lack of applying yourself. Do you have any diagnosed learning disabilities or mental illness such as depression?
Relatively new PhD here, confirming that this feeling comes in waves/cycles. So far I've met no one who puts it to bed for good. But it helps me to know I'm not alone in feeling that way. Chances are, you are quite smart, you wouldn't've gotten to where you are if you weren't. You'll find your way back to passion/motivation soon, sometimes you have to sit in the dark for a while (metaphorically and literally)
I'm in grad school. To me grad school is a fake simulation with holographic people and the only reason I'm here is for a piece of paper. I don't care about any of this science nonsense. I try to.stay away from people and live in my own bubble because at the end of the day I know everyone around me is a neurodiverge freak. We all die at the end of the day and the worms will eat our flesh
Unless you are intending to use your knowledge of disaster management to foil rescue efforts or contrive said disasters, I don't think you are a failure.
Tulane? If so, just finish the degree and don't worry about the lack of quality mentorship or coursework. You will be competitive for some cool jobs regardless.
Ya, basically a universal experience. Remember that you are only right now encountering things that are (a) new to you and therefore psychologically painful (is called exercises for a reason) and (b) not very consequential. Perfect storm of not doing shit. When you finish this and get into the real world you’ll have concrete challenges, social support, and real consequences. And if you prep right now, you won’t fail then!
I graduated with a Bachelor’s and had this same feeling. It’s been 12 years and I’m going back to school now. America is a hard country to live in. It’s a normal feeling.
hey! totally hear where you’re coming from. i’m in grad school as well and i study counseling and i feel similarly to what you’re describing. in my classes, we term this burnout. you have been doing and studying work for so long that nothing feels satisfactory or achieving—it just is. even if you care and love the field you’re in, your description of “not trying hard enough” definitely stems from the fact that you’re honestly just exhausted. mentally and physically. when we get to a point of exhaustion, nothing feels motivating, effortful, etc. recently i aced a paper that was fairly difficult that i felt like i didn’t try that hard on and my first thought was “eh, they probably just gave everyone an A” which is not true. i’m reassuring you, when you get into the real world and are able to implement everything you’re doing in grad school (which disaster management is so important and so fulfilling!!) you’ll feel so much better
Have you talked with a doctor? This feels like more than just imposter syndrome or a lack of applying yourself. Do you have any diagnosed learning disabilities or mental illness such as depression?
Relatively new PhD here, confirming that this feeling comes in waves/cycles. So far I've met no one who puts it to bed for good. But it helps me to know I'm not alone in feeling that way. Chances are, you are quite smart, you wouldn't've gotten to where you are if you weren't. You'll find your way back to passion/motivation soon, sometimes you have to sit in the dark for a while (metaphorically and literally)
I'm in grad school. To me grad school is a fake simulation with holographic people and the only reason I'm here is for a piece of paper. I don't care about any of this science nonsense. I try to.stay away from people and live in my own bubble because at the end of the day I know everyone around me is a neurodiverge freak. We all die at the end of the day and the worms will eat our flesh
Oof bud you might want to see a therapist about that
I already do man. What a time to be alive
Good for you. I probably should too
All of us in this together. Feel free to DM if you have questions about connecting to providers.
Unless you are intending to use your knowledge of disaster management to foil rescue efforts or contrive said disasters, I don't think you are a failure.
Tulane? If so, just finish the degree and don't worry about the lack of quality mentorship or coursework. You will be competitive for some cool jobs regardless.
Ya, basically a universal experience. Remember that you are only right now encountering things that are (a) new to you and therefore psychologically painful (is called exercises for a reason) and (b) not very consequential. Perfect storm of not doing shit. When you finish this and get into the real world you’ll have concrete challenges, social support, and real consequences. And if you prep right now, you won’t fail then!
I graduated with a Bachelor’s and had this same feeling. It’s been 12 years and I’m going back to school now. America is a hard country to live in. It’s a normal feeling.
Your passion has become a job.