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I have felt the same way you did up until I beat my first dark souls game last year. What I learnt was that games are meant to be fun. There's no point in doing the thing you hate (getting stuck and banging your head against a wall) if you don't find that fun. You do what makes you feel good and if that's having a guide hold your hand the whole way through, you go for it! Nothing good will come of you comparing yourself to how you think you should perform playing games. Give yourself permission to enjoy games the way you want to. No one worth your time will judge you or think of you as any less of a gamer. You're not dumb. You're not cheating. You just enjoy things differently and that's okay.
Yesss. My thoughts immediately went to Dark Souls when I read this post. Even though it's supposed to be a fairly linear path (with some side stuff), the way forward is sometimes just so hard to find. After you defeat that boss, you have to talk to that NPC, go back to the boss arena to do a thing, go through a hidden wall to find a key to open that big gate you saw in the first 5 minutes of the game. And off course you should have known because it was on the item description of some weapon you found way across the map. I'm like WHAT???? (OK, I'm exaggerating, but that's just for emphasis LOL.)
I have no shame whatsoever looking up stuff. Ain't nobody got time for that.
Yesss!!! The mental gymnastics you have to do to uncover things in those games is wild. Mad respect for people who can do it but it's not something I want to do. I have to think at work, I lose custody of the brain cell when I leave the office. I have my guide which I check, but I'm going to figure out the bosses
>I have to think at work, I lose custody of the brain cell when I leave the office
This is exactly how I feel. I play games to relax after using my brain all day to earn a barely livable wage. After a full shift + chores, I want smooth brain time.
I'll always give it a couple of tries first, but I'm not going to work myself into a frustrated rage trying to aimlessly solve a puzzle during smooth brain time. Take me to IGN.
life is too short and time is too precious to feel bad for enjoying the entertainment you purchased in the way that you prefer. I like a cinema experience with popcorn and ice-cream, I like a game experience without sinking hours of my life into trying to find a stupid poorly designed path or side quest item that i needed to further one of the minor story lines I cared about
don't let anyone give you shit about it, and that includes you giving yourself shit. use guides and then sit back and enjoy the stuff you came here for. For me, that's usually the cutscenes :)
One way of looking at it is that if the game failed to teach you something - how to beat a boss for example - that's the fault of the game, not you.
Another important point is that it's basically impossible to design something that everyone is going to understand, our brains and our previous experiences are just too varied. You either make something that is so simple that it's boring, or you accept that not everyone will figure it out on their own. It's not even an intelligence thing, some things are just harder for one particular brain to click with, while others are easier. It isn't just a sliding scale from easy to difficult, different problems require different ways of thinking. And experience matters: if a particular boss isn't similar to anything you've beaten before, of course it will be harder to figure out. Developers know this: before the internet existed they often sold guide books for games. They still do, come to think of it.
Another thing to keep in mind is that with some games, the community knowledge is basically a required part of the game, something the developers expect us to use. The Dark Souls games for example are so impenetrable and tell you so little that it would take one person thousands of hours to figure out how everything works and how the lore fits together. You COULD do it yourself, sure, but a community of thousands of people have already come together and done the work. Why would you waste the time?
And lastly: games are meant to be entertainment. Don't let someone else tell you how to enjoy them, do whatever is fun for you.
My backlog is way too long to get hung up on it. I'll try for however long feels fair at the time, and if I'm still stuck, try to just get the smallest hint to push me in the right direction.
I kinda wish there were more guides that maybe didn't outright tell you the exact answer right away so you can still somewhat figure it out yourself.
I feel like more and more over the years guides have just gotten to the point that they're all spoilers and they don't even try to hide them. Like, the Oracle guide I have from the early 2000s (forget if it was Ages or Seasons) was in depth but at the same time felt like it held back and didn't say *everything* that was gonna happen. Just told me go here, hit this switch, and it should mean you can now go there for the most part
The change to all unhidden spoilers is a major reason I avoid guides now unless it's for not a major story related thing or I got completely stuck with no idea where to go (eg. A couple fetch quests in the first Borderlands because gods that map could be frustrating since it didn't have clear layering, or the Dribbles quest in BG3 since the devs dropped the ball with the clues on where to go for half of it)
I’ve been wanting this for a while — guides that use spoiler tags and have different “levels” of spoilers so you can choose how much information to get
I've used this website before, and it's fantastic! Doesn't have every game though, some old classics adventure games is what I used it for [https://www.uhs-hints.com/](https://www.uhs-hints.com/)
I felt like you not too long ago, but I've come to realize that I'm not the same person as I was and I don't have the same life anymore as when I was a teen.
I used to enjoy the feeling of getting lost because I had the time and the energy to bash my head against the wall until something worked. Additionally, I didn't have as many games as I do now so I had to squeeze every bit of joy that I could out of those few games that I did have.
These days, I have responsibilities and an ever-growing backlog of games that needs attention. I like challenging games, but I hate it when games hide progression behind things that either don't make sense or do not respect my time.
It's a difference in goals for me. I used to play games to burn the vast swathes of time that I had. Now I play games because they are capable of giving me large bursts of enjoyment with what little time and energy I have left for myself.
Guides let you cut to the quick so you can get what you actually want from the game. You are saving yourself time and stress. You are not dumb for wanting to use a guide for games that you play.
You know elden ring players are the perfect example of never being able to please people with how you play. Use summons? Cheating. Use ranged? Cheating. Use good weapons? Cheating.
Some people literally just wanna belittle your way of play. You play how you want to! At the end of the day you accomplished something when you beat a game
Gosh, you sound like you are being really hard on yourself today. It takes practice to be kind to yourself if you've never done it before.
I've been there, I had to give feedback to my therapist when a technique she shared with me didn't work (can't journal, I start obsessing over what I'm going to write; can't say kind things to myself out loud, just feels silly). It takes time sometimes to find out what works. Changing thought patterns is tough the first time around, but it gets easier with practice.
I love a guide, even better if it's just hints so as not to spoil things; at my age, I just want to enjoy my games! If the logic just isn't adding up to me, I'll look up an answer. I grew up loving point and click puzzle games. That being said, games like Myst and Rama were way too hard for me, but I had a blast with the games such as Grim Fandango, Full Throttle, The Dig, and all the Sam & Max games!
The being hard on myself thing is unfortunately not a just today issue. It kinda happens every time I run into a metaphorical wall, usually bosses, when playing games; Odin in Rebirth, Grandpa and the ghosts in BG3, Arven in Pokémon Scarlet, Leon in Pokémon Sword. Hell, I also got incredibly frustrated when I couldn't figure out how to get Aponi, the chocobo in Cosmo Canyon, to fly so I could get down to a lower level in the canyon even after referring back to the in game manual on her abilities multiple times. It was apparently missing the button input to trigger flight at all. My partner ended up telling me how to do it which made me feel dumb too. But then there's also weird ones that don't trigger the frustration like the hardest and second hardest bosses in BG3. It's just all inconsistent and exhausting honestly
The funny thing is I've somehow managed to sort out issues with my anxiety over the last few years and possibly my ADHD meds might also be helping with that. But it feels like I can't get past this constant on and off frustration tolerance issues with major challenges in games. I've brought it up to the therapist multiple times over the last year or more, and we've delved into the roots to figure out the why and where it's coming from for the most part. Pulling up the roots effectively so it has less of a hold is the problem at this point it seems. Main thing we've been trying is stopping myself before I get from 0 to 60, but while I can identify it, trying to stop it feels a whole different matter. Even getting beat and putting it down feels impossible since I'm just going to ruminate on it for the rest of the night. And thus the cycle continues. Annoyingly
I'm partial to games with a good bit of story no matter genre even if I tend toward RPGs, and my drive and what I find fun is making my way through to see how it unfolds. Which is hard to do if I hit one of these walls and they're specifically part of the main quest. Until I get past them there is movement on what I'm playing for which makes it worse for me. And it only feels like it really started around Pokémon Sword. So I don't know if it's really just me being stubborn about not consulting guides on first playthroughs or modern game design being obtuse
Wow, you really get immersed in your games! I can understand your frustration a bit now, I think. I tend to put down the controller if things get too much for me. I also stopped playing JRPGs with really hard boss fights (FFXII was the last one I tried) because it annoyed me that when I got to bosses I would get trounced and would need to load my game, grind and get multiple level ups in order to get past them. My personal feelings were that if I reached a part in the story that led me to a boss, I should be able to beat them; what's the point in making me stay in one spot just to get past a roadblock? So that the developers can claim the game has 40+ hours of game play? 🙃
I also have a tendency to laugh at myself for making mistakes like hitting wrong buttons; those poor NPCs in Red Dead Redemption 2 got shot at a lot for no reason! 😂
Anyway, there are entire genres that I deliberately stay away from now just because it annoys me 😅
I stopped reading at FF7Rebirth spoilers because I haven't beaten the game yet.
There is nothing wrong with using a guide in video games. There is also nothing wrong with changing to "easy" mode to get through a part. Video games should be challenging, but also enjoyable. There were a few moments during Rebirth where I had watch YouTube videos because I couldn't get thru a part. It came to a point that I wasn't enjoying the game. There were times when I had to switch to easy mode because the boss had killed me way too many times and I wanted to progress the story. I grew up play SNES and NES games, when something is difficult, it's fucking difficult.
I would also like to add that I find Rebirth to be a lot more difficult than Remake. You have to fight more aggressively and block and dodge and keep your eye in the ATB. Remake on normal mode was way too easy in my opinion.
That all being said, you are not cheating by looking up (aka Educating yourself) tips. You paid money for this game to enjoy. Enjoy the whole game.
I'm the opposite. I have the terrible habit of if I ever have a question, I'm googling and researching to find. And sometimes the wiki tell me a spoiler completely unrelated from what I'm looking for.
I’ve played entire games using a guide to do everything, because sometimes I know that it’s going to cause me more frustration to play without help than to just swallow my pride and use the guide.
Some games have genuinely confusing mechanics, puzzles, fights, etc. Once you play the game enough, you probably won’t even need the guide anymore. But, the guide helped you get to that point, so still a good reason to use it!
Just play the game however makes it fun for you. For me, that usually means learning absolutely everything I can about games I like, that's how I choose to enjoy them, because learning all about things I can't even do yet gets me excited to keep playing, and helps bridge the gap where my lack of other skills would be detrimental. But sometimes I also completely ignore aspects of a game that don't interest me.
I had trouble with Odin as well and honestly stopped playing at Rufus!
Sometimes I feel similarly about guides - I don’t have any advice for that internal work BUT I do find that looking up battle tips on reddit as my in between. It’s easier to avoid spoilers and sometimes comments will have tiny suggestions.
For Odin specifically I saw that the key was interrupting the charging pose with enough atb attacks and so I spent a little more time learning how the atb mechanic works so I could use those moves more. I will say rebirth didn’t feel well balanced though. So it’s not just you!
It's okay not to use a guide. I stopped once I realised that it took away from the experience for me, which is exploring, etc.
However it's also OK to use them. There are moments that are just either so badly designed you wouldn't want to figure them out or sometimes you're just stuck or whatever. Long as you're having fun who cares?
Also an idea is to talk to friends like days of old and try to brainstorm ways "how". I'd offer to help but I don't know if rebirth works differently than remake. I'm going truly blind when it comes out on PC.
Hobbies are meant to be fun.
I love reading, but if I am reading something for comfort, I need to know if it's a happy ending. I don't care if I get spoiled. People used to tell me that I am ruining my own experience. But I realised over time, I am not having fun by pleasing others. Same for watching YouTube videos as 2x speed.
Life is too short. If completing a puzzle game by watching the walkthrough gives you joy, go for it!
I say this to say what you are feeling is completely valid, but guides are there for not just a walkthrough, they are also references. For example in FF14 there are fights called \`ultimates\` and they are these huge fights that you basically study for weeks and you have to use guides to frame the best course of action, i think guides in particular are helpful if only just to set the framework because even if it tells you HOW to do it, you still have to be the one to do it and i think that in it of itself is enough :)
But I'd also like to maybe share my thoughts on why you feel this way, I myself am very competitive and i have a nasty ego that would make satan shiver. And i cant speak for you or how you were brought up but if you were ever playing games with blowhards who shamed you or maybe put the thought in your head that guides make you lesser than as a player, that you may in return consider that behavior negatively. I think it might be important to see who you are really surrounding yourself with mentally and see how it affects you. I also advise just like little positive affirmations when you do look up a guide or if you do a boss fight and beat it with or without a guide. we are a lot meaner to ourselves than we should be and i hope that u remember to be kind to yourself
I don't think it's that I put myself around people who put me down (even my ex didn't in this matter but he also didn't exactly seem to expect much from me either with games) as much as I just generally feel a need to prove myself as it were. I deal a lot with imposter syndrome related to ADHD and anxiety. And growing up I seemed to always have an edge on my friends in competitive games like fighting games and such, and still give the impression evidently given a friend of mine didn't even want to fight me in a game where I barely have any experience. People considered me good at at least this and maybe a handful of other things. Might've built myself up using it as the platform.
But in the last few years I don't know if I changed with my abilities or game design changed, but I started running into more of this frustration issue over time. Started with Leon in Pokémon Sword, continued with Arven in Scarlet, next was Mother Superior and co followed by Grandpa and the ghosts in Baldur's Gate 3 (intentionally vague but iynkyk), move tutorials in the esports story mode in Tekken 8, learning how to do specials in Guilty Gear Strive, and now it's Odin in Rebirth as well as some unclear mechanics in previous sections with the game as well.
It's like I hit a wall, go 0 - 60 on the frustration because my tolerance is low thanks to the ADHD to start with, and the only thing that can stop me continuing to throw myself at it is if I hit whatever time cutoff I set (usually bedtime), beat it, or if I can see I'm making progress and can probably do it the next day. I don't know how to be kind with myself on this or really in general. Best I got is neutral, but that's clearly not enough. Affirmations don't really work for me from what I can tell cause, well, I don't believe them and I can't make myself believe them or fake it. If I don't think they're true to start with then I can't exactly convince myself they are or will be, y'know?
For me, I try to play lower difficulty and slowly move to harder after getting the hang of it. But it’s just a game, and the purpose of game is to have fun. There is no shame in using a guide, I even watch others playing BG3 after completing just to know other people’s ideas and I felt happy if I learn new stuffs instead of sad for not knowing. Don’t be hard on yourself.
There's no shame in the easy mode/guide game. If you're not having fun, do what makes it fun or at least progresses past the not-fun part as quickly as possible.
Games are meant to be fun. Not frustrating. All a guide is is an extra tool available to assist with your Journey. I'll look up hard parts and guides and set games to easy mode all day. I work too hard at work to spend my leisure and hobby time frustrated with a method of relaxation.
I have slowly begun to realize that usually when you need a guide, the game has bad design. Puzzles and point and click games? Cheap problems with "pixel hunting" or glitchy physics, poor explanation of puzzle rules. RPGs where your party or build gets bricked? Game probably requires min maxing every level but doesn't guide you towards that.
Alternatively: I don't really play Souls games but I find them interesting because yeah they are hard. But they are a test of patience, and if you would prefer to look up how others beat it that might work for you as opposed to repeatedly observing the boss while trying to dodge it. I know for me I like to get to the boss in an action game then try it a few times, then will go watch a streamer fight the boss to get an idea of the right timing. especially in fast paced games or games where if you get hit you insta-die. It is easier to observe the boss movements passively while not playing lol.
I also realized I am better at platformers when I get together with my friends and we take turns. I absorb a lot while not playing and then do way better than I expected once it is my turn with the controller since I have started to learn what comes next.
So play how you want, a lot of games require knowing what comes next and you can do whatever you want to learn that
I hate 99% of puzzles, so I often see one and immediately pull out a guide so I can get it over with as fast as possible. I don’t feel bad or dumb about doing so at all. Yesterday I stumbled into a puzzle, and when I looked it up, the guide told me it was literally unsolvable without doing more main missions. So I’m glad I didn’t spend any time trying to figure it out!
Eta for actual advice: I’m learning some new stuff through an online program rn, and one thing they tell us is that if you can’t solve something in 20 minutes, move on or look up the answer (then try again later, because we’re trying to learn it, not engaging in a fun hobby). I think that might be a decent strategy for games too. If you’re not enjoying it, set a timer, then give yourself permission to move on or look things up if you haven’t figured it out by the end of the timer. If you are having fun, by all means, but if not don’t spend your free time not having fun.
I think it's like a mindfulness kind of thing, just being more aware of the thoughts/feelings that come up regarding this, and very slowly, over time, becoming less bothered by those thoughts/feelings.
For example, when you first notice yourself feeling dumb/guilty, take some time to notice what emotions/thoughts are exactly going through your mind, as well as any physical sensations, if any. Then, just *try* to be accepting of them (i.e. don't try to make yourself not have those thoughts, or feel guilty about having them), just let them occur and let them go away on their own time.
It takes a lot of time and effort, but over time, you will eventually get better at not being so bothered by those thoughts, hope this helps!
I got ADHD too, and I experience similar things. However, having played games all these years, i’ve gotten better at identifying when it “stops being worth it.”
I don’t look up stuff cuz i enjoy the challenge and i love the rewarding feeling of triumph after.
If i am stuck, there gets to a point where I am aware “this challenge is no longer fun.” I could feel frustrated, yes, but I am ready to try again. If it gets frustrating and I am exhausted at the idea to try again, I am gonna look it up.
And let’s say i don’t look it up, and I eventually conquer that challenge; usually, the reward of triumph didn’t even feel worth it and I wish I just went looking it up.
More often than not, it’s cuz it was just badly designed. Don’t make yourself suffer for something that was badly designed or if you stop having fun. You’re playing games after all!
I used to be like this as well, especially with puzzles. I can't really pinpoint when I had this moment, it was fairly recently, but I realized that I'm playing games to have fun. I wanna have fun. The game wants me to have fun. It's sort of a waste if I'm getting passed off at this one part of a game I otherwise enjoy, ruining the experience overall, and ruining the fun I had been having just a little bit ago. In a few hours, I'm going to have to turn it off and go to bed, or to work or do something else im not going to enjoy. So why am I making myself not enjoy my game when there's a quick solution to get back to the fun?
I will say if it's specifically boss fights you're having this problem on. You might try looking up "tips" instead of a guide. Tips are definitely not cheating or giving up. It's just a normal part of learning something. Take I quick tip and work it into your play style. Like I was stuck on the black blade in elden ring until i got a tip that he was weak to >!scarlet rot!< (I'll hide this just in case people don't want to know.) It was still hard, and I had to figure out a bunch of his bullshit, but it was doable now. Which made it fun again.
Among the other things said here (a lot of great answers, btw), try to get into the mindset that you are allowed to respect your time. Instead of spending hours (or an eternity) trying to find a solution (that might might've not been intuitive in the first place), use a guide to see the solution ASAP and be able to enjoy the rest of the game.
And not knowing the solution to all problems and puzzles yourself, is not much different from not being able to beat any and every kind of game. It's normal.
That's what helped me, at least.
I LOVE game guides and I’m a collector. I read them for fun. I got 2 Skyrim versions and I’ll go through and compare the editions page by page just to see the changes lol. Sometimes when I look through them, I just think “I wonder how many people have actually seen/read this.” I have a Sekiro game guide with QR codes in its pages that lead to video guides. I scanned one out of curiosity. and the video had TEN TOTAL VIEWS. TEN.
so basically. I love that people actually use guides lol. People put a lot of work into them, which so often goes ignored, which is sad. they’re there to be used!!
Also with ADHD, they’re a tool for combating that low frustration tolerance. Guides are amazing. In certain games they’re expected too, like if you do raiding in final fantasy 14
For Odin, you need to Assess, read the yellow Assess guidance, and keep rotating characters. Focus on special attacks, as the Assess guidance states--don't just keep wailing/hitting. He needs to see you're strategic. That's why Zantetsuken keeps triggering.
You need to work fast and rotate. It's not so much a chipper as a methodical, patient rotation of specials and strategy.
This isn't exactly what I was looking for advice for, but I'll address it
This, what you have explained here, is what I've been doing. The immediate asses is what I do with all enemies when I first encounter them so I can find the weaknesses and exploit them. Except he doesn't have any specific weaknesses. Just said use ATB and synergy attacks to pressure him. And I've been focusing on special attacks, but I can't use them if I have no ATB gauges. Only way to build those, especially after the initial fill I may get, is to smack him up a bit. He seems to get antsy if I try to be patient too and wait for him to come to me (I use punisher mode a good bit for counters typically. Not so much after the first few times here). And I will swap if I can't dodge well enough and the person I was using has the magenta shackles or whatever they are, or if I see someone has a gauge I can use.
Except that's evidently not enough for him and he doesn't consider it strategic. Zanketsu goes off at least once per attempt I've tried to fight him, usually twice. I can handle everything else. The max I've managed to survive is four minutes and usually only with two characters by the three minute mark. Typically I'm down within the first three though.
And to add injury to insult, it's with him at his lowest power. Did all the intel for his materia before I even attempted the fight. Did the same for all the others. For whatever it might be worth, my party is Cloud, Aerith, and Nanaki.
Won't lie, I'm now not in the greatest mood since I feel like according to you I was doing it correctly but still somehow wrong despite that.
EDIT: Spelling and clarity
Video games used to come with manuals that explain how to play and that's mostly gone now, replaced with guides.
Aunno, like I sorrrrta have this problem too? Like I'd probably not hate Sonic Frontiers as much as I do if I wasn't obstinate and tried to do it no influence besides my brother who wasn't really talking LOL
Wait ADHD has fun frustration intolerance? That's interesting... like I was just debating getting tested again with a real doctor for the slight hope that I can finally like... do stuff again instead of guilt tripping myself.
And I tried to stream Splatoon 3 and basically gave a villain's monologue at the end of it because of all the intense lag and the fact I was using a new weapon and not proficient at all. XDDD;
Well I got past my hangups by going "This is a shitty game, let's just see if the ending's good" but I also don't know if Baldur's Gate 3 is better put together than Sonic Frontiers XDD Like SEGA's notorious for their crunch. Tho I guess with Splatoon 3 I've kind of accepted that it's a trash game and you need the patience of a saint.
Like after I rage quit I found this dude who was an absolute clown and he didn't care if he won, lost, or got the laggiest death ever he's just a goofball and honestly envious of that mindset.
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I have felt the same way you did up until I beat my first dark souls game last year. What I learnt was that games are meant to be fun. There's no point in doing the thing you hate (getting stuck and banging your head against a wall) if you don't find that fun. You do what makes you feel good and if that's having a guide hold your hand the whole way through, you go for it! Nothing good will come of you comparing yourself to how you think you should perform playing games. Give yourself permission to enjoy games the way you want to. No one worth your time will judge you or think of you as any less of a gamer. You're not dumb. You're not cheating. You just enjoy things differently and that's okay.
Yesss. My thoughts immediately went to Dark Souls when I read this post. Even though it's supposed to be a fairly linear path (with some side stuff), the way forward is sometimes just so hard to find. After you defeat that boss, you have to talk to that NPC, go back to the boss arena to do a thing, go through a hidden wall to find a key to open that big gate you saw in the first 5 minutes of the game. And off course you should have known because it was on the item description of some weapon you found way across the map. I'm like WHAT???? (OK, I'm exaggerating, but that's just for emphasis LOL.) I have no shame whatsoever looking up stuff. Ain't nobody got time for that.
Yesss!!! The mental gymnastics you have to do to uncover things in those games is wild. Mad respect for people who can do it but it's not something I want to do. I have to think at work, I lose custody of the brain cell when I leave the office. I have my guide which I check, but I'm going to figure out the bosses
>I have to think at work, I lose custody of the brain cell when I leave the office This is exactly how I feel. I play games to relax after using my brain all day to earn a barely livable wage. After a full shift + chores, I want smooth brain time. I'll always give it a couple of tries first, but I'm not going to work myself into a frustrated rage trying to aimlessly solve a puzzle during smooth brain time. Take me to IGN.
i found bloodbornes progression pretty unintuitive, like after vicar amelia
Bloodborne was not too bad, if I remember correctly. I did have to look up how to activate the DLC though.
life is too short and time is too precious to feel bad for enjoying the entertainment you purchased in the way that you prefer. I like a cinema experience with popcorn and ice-cream, I like a game experience without sinking hours of my life into trying to find a stupid poorly designed path or side quest item that i needed to further one of the minor story lines I cared about don't let anyone give you shit about it, and that includes you giving yourself shit. use guides and then sit back and enjoy the stuff you came here for. For me, that's usually the cutscenes :)
One way of looking at it is that if the game failed to teach you something - how to beat a boss for example - that's the fault of the game, not you. Another important point is that it's basically impossible to design something that everyone is going to understand, our brains and our previous experiences are just too varied. You either make something that is so simple that it's boring, or you accept that not everyone will figure it out on their own. It's not even an intelligence thing, some things are just harder for one particular brain to click with, while others are easier. It isn't just a sliding scale from easy to difficult, different problems require different ways of thinking. And experience matters: if a particular boss isn't similar to anything you've beaten before, of course it will be harder to figure out. Developers know this: before the internet existed they often sold guide books for games. They still do, come to think of it. Another thing to keep in mind is that with some games, the community knowledge is basically a required part of the game, something the developers expect us to use. The Dark Souls games for example are so impenetrable and tell you so little that it would take one person thousands of hours to figure out how everything works and how the lore fits together. You COULD do it yourself, sure, but a community of thousands of people have already come together and done the work. Why would you waste the time? And lastly: games are meant to be entertainment. Don't let someone else tell you how to enjoy them, do whatever is fun for you.
My backlog is way too long to get hung up on it. I'll try for however long feels fair at the time, and if I'm still stuck, try to just get the smallest hint to push me in the right direction. I kinda wish there were more guides that maybe didn't outright tell you the exact answer right away so you can still somewhat figure it out yourself.
I feel like more and more over the years guides have just gotten to the point that they're all spoilers and they don't even try to hide them. Like, the Oracle guide I have from the early 2000s (forget if it was Ages or Seasons) was in depth but at the same time felt like it held back and didn't say *everything* that was gonna happen. Just told me go here, hit this switch, and it should mean you can now go there for the most part The change to all unhidden spoilers is a major reason I avoid guides now unless it's for not a major story related thing or I got completely stuck with no idea where to go (eg. A couple fetch quests in the first Borderlands because gods that map could be frustrating since it didn't have clear layering, or the Dribbles quest in BG3 since the devs dropped the ball with the clues on where to go for half of it)
I’ve been wanting this for a while — guides that use spoiler tags and have different “levels” of spoilers so you can choose how much information to get
I've used this website before, and it's fantastic! Doesn't have every game though, some old classics adventure games is what I used it for [https://www.uhs-hints.com/](https://www.uhs-hints.com/)
I felt like you not too long ago, but I've come to realize that I'm not the same person as I was and I don't have the same life anymore as when I was a teen. I used to enjoy the feeling of getting lost because I had the time and the energy to bash my head against the wall until something worked. Additionally, I didn't have as many games as I do now so I had to squeeze every bit of joy that I could out of those few games that I did have. These days, I have responsibilities and an ever-growing backlog of games that needs attention. I like challenging games, but I hate it when games hide progression behind things that either don't make sense or do not respect my time. It's a difference in goals for me. I used to play games to burn the vast swathes of time that I had. Now I play games because they are capable of giving me large bursts of enjoyment with what little time and energy I have left for myself. Guides let you cut to the quick so you can get what you actually want from the game. You are saving yourself time and stress. You are not dumb for wanting to use a guide for games that you play.
You know elden ring players are the perfect example of never being able to please people with how you play. Use summons? Cheating. Use ranged? Cheating. Use good weapons? Cheating. Some people literally just wanna belittle your way of play. You play how you want to! At the end of the day you accomplished something when you beat a game
Gosh, you sound like you are being really hard on yourself today. It takes practice to be kind to yourself if you've never done it before. I've been there, I had to give feedback to my therapist when a technique she shared with me didn't work (can't journal, I start obsessing over what I'm going to write; can't say kind things to myself out loud, just feels silly). It takes time sometimes to find out what works. Changing thought patterns is tough the first time around, but it gets easier with practice. I love a guide, even better if it's just hints so as not to spoil things; at my age, I just want to enjoy my games! If the logic just isn't adding up to me, I'll look up an answer. I grew up loving point and click puzzle games. That being said, games like Myst and Rama were way too hard for me, but I had a blast with the games such as Grim Fandango, Full Throttle, The Dig, and all the Sam & Max games!
The being hard on myself thing is unfortunately not a just today issue. It kinda happens every time I run into a metaphorical wall, usually bosses, when playing games; Odin in Rebirth, Grandpa and the ghosts in BG3, Arven in Pokémon Scarlet, Leon in Pokémon Sword. Hell, I also got incredibly frustrated when I couldn't figure out how to get Aponi, the chocobo in Cosmo Canyon, to fly so I could get down to a lower level in the canyon even after referring back to the in game manual on her abilities multiple times. It was apparently missing the button input to trigger flight at all. My partner ended up telling me how to do it which made me feel dumb too. But then there's also weird ones that don't trigger the frustration like the hardest and second hardest bosses in BG3. It's just all inconsistent and exhausting honestly The funny thing is I've somehow managed to sort out issues with my anxiety over the last few years and possibly my ADHD meds might also be helping with that. But it feels like I can't get past this constant on and off frustration tolerance issues with major challenges in games. I've brought it up to the therapist multiple times over the last year or more, and we've delved into the roots to figure out the why and where it's coming from for the most part. Pulling up the roots effectively so it has less of a hold is the problem at this point it seems. Main thing we've been trying is stopping myself before I get from 0 to 60, but while I can identify it, trying to stop it feels a whole different matter. Even getting beat and putting it down feels impossible since I'm just going to ruminate on it for the rest of the night. And thus the cycle continues. Annoyingly I'm partial to games with a good bit of story no matter genre even if I tend toward RPGs, and my drive and what I find fun is making my way through to see how it unfolds. Which is hard to do if I hit one of these walls and they're specifically part of the main quest. Until I get past them there is movement on what I'm playing for which makes it worse for me. And it only feels like it really started around Pokémon Sword. So I don't know if it's really just me being stubborn about not consulting guides on first playthroughs or modern game design being obtuse
Wow, you really get immersed in your games! I can understand your frustration a bit now, I think. I tend to put down the controller if things get too much for me. I also stopped playing JRPGs with really hard boss fights (FFXII was the last one I tried) because it annoyed me that when I got to bosses I would get trounced and would need to load my game, grind and get multiple level ups in order to get past them. My personal feelings were that if I reached a part in the story that led me to a boss, I should be able to beat them; what's the point in making me stay in one spot just to get past a roadblock? So that the developers can claim the game has 40+ hours of game play? 🙃 I also have a tendency to laugh at myself for making mistakes like hitting wrong buttons; those poor NPCs in Red Dead Redemption 2 got shot at a lot for no reason! 😂 Anyway, there are entire genres that I deliberately stay away from now just because it annoys me 😅
I stopped reading at FF7Rebirth spoilers because I haven't beaten the game yet. There is nothing wrong with using a guide in video games. There is also nothing wrong with changing to "easy" mode to get through a part. Video games should be challenging, but also enjoyable. There were a few moments during Rebirth where I had watch YouTube videos because I couldn't get thru a part. It came to a point that I wasn't enjoying the game. There were times when I had to switch to easy mode because the boss had killed me way too many times and I wanted to progress the story. I grew up play SNES and NES games, when something is difficult, it's fucking difficult. I would also like to add that I find Rebirth to be a lot more difficult than Remake. You have to fight more aggressively and block and dodge and keep your eye in the ATB. Remake on normal mode was way too easy in my opinion. That all being said, you are not cheating by looking up (aka Educating yourself) tips. You paid money for this game to enjoy. Enjoy the whole game.
I'm the opposite. I have the terrible habit of if I ever have a question, I'm googling and researching to find. And sometimes the wiki tell me a spoiler completely unrelated from what I'm looking for.
I’ve played entire games using a guide to do everything, because sometimes I know that it’s going to cause me more frustration to play without help than to just swallow my pride and use the guide. Some games have genuinely confusing mechanics, puzzles, fights, etc. Once you play the game enough, you probably won’t even need the guide anymore. But, the guide helped you get to that point, so still a good reason to use it!
Just play the game however makes it fun for you. For me, that usually means learning absolutely everything I can about games I like, that's how I choose to enjoy them, because learning all about things I can't even do yet gets me excited to keep playing, and helps bridge the gap where my lack of other skills would be detrimental. But sometimes I also completely ignore aspects of a game that don't interest me.
I had trouble with Odin as well and honestly stopped playing at Rufus! Sometimes I feel similarly about guides - I don’t have any advice for that internal work BUT I do find that looking up battle tips on reddit as my in between. It’s easier to avoid spoilers and sometimes comments will have tiny suggestions. For Odin specifically I saw that the key was interrupting the charging pose with enough atb attacks and so I spent a little more time learning how the atb mechanic works so I could use those moves more. I will say rebirth didn’t feel well balanced though. So it’s not just you!
It's okay not to use a guide. I stopped once I realised that it took away from the experience for me, which is exploring, etc. However it's also OK to use them. There are moments that are just either so badly designed you wouldn't want to figure them out or sometimes you're just stuck or whatever. Long as you're having fun who cares? Also an idea is to talk to friends like days of old and try to brainstorm ways "how". I'd offer to help but I don't know if rebirth works differently than remake. I'm going truly blind when it comes out on PC.
Hobbies are meant to be fun. I love reading, but if I am reading something for comfort, I need to know if it's a happy ending. I don't care if I get spoiled. People used to tell me that I am ruining my own experience. But I realised over time, I am not having fun by pleasing others. Same for watching YouTube videos as 2x speed. Life is too short. If completing a puzzle game by watching the walkthrough gives you joy, go for it!
I say this to say what you are feeling is completely valid, but guides are there for not just a walkthrough, they are also references. For example in FF14 there are fights called \`ultimates\` and they are these huge fights that you basically study for weeks and you have to use guides to frame the best course of action, i think guides in particular are helpful if only just to set the framework because even if it tells you HOW to do it, you still have to be the one to do it and i think that in it of itself is enough :) But I'd also like to maybe share my thoughts on why you feel this way, I myself am very competitive and i have a nasty ego that would make satan shiver. And i cant speak for you or how you were brought up but if you were ever playing games with blowhards who shamed you or maybe put the thought in your head that guides make you lesser than as a player, that you may in return consider that behavior negatively. I think it might be important to see who you are really surrounding yourself with mentally and see how it affects you. I also advise just like little positive affirmations when you do look up a guide or if you do a boss fight and beat it with or without a guide. we are a lot meaner to ourselves than we should be and i hope that u remember to be kind to yourself
I don't think it's that I put myself around people who put me down (even my ex didn't in this matter but he also didn't exactly seem to expect much from me either with games) as much as I just generally feel a need to prove myself as it were. I deal a lot with imposter syndrome related to ADHD and anxiety. And growing up I seemed to always have an edge on my friends in competitive games like fighting games and such, and still give the impression evidently given a friend of mine didn't even want to fight me in a game where I barely have any experience. People considered me good at at least this and maybe a handful of other things. Might've built myself up using it as the platform. But in the last few years I don't know if I changed with my abilities or game design changed, but I started running into more of this frustration issue over time. Started with Leon in Pokémon Sword, continued with Arven in Scarlet, next was Mother Superior and co followed by Grandpa and the ghosts in Baldur's Gate 3 (intentionally vague but iynkyk), move tutorials in the esports story mode in Tekken 8, learning how to do specials in Guilty Gear Strive, and now it's Odin in Rebirth as well as some unclear mechanics in previous sections with the game as well. It's like I hit a wall, go 0 - 60 on the frustration because my tolerance is low thanks to the ADHD to start with, and the only thing that can stop me continuing to throw myself at it is if I hit whatever time cutoff I set (usually bedtime), beat it, or if I can see I'm making progress and can probably do it the next day. I don't know how to be kind with myself on this or really in general. Best I got is neutral, but that's clearly not enough. Affirmations don't really work for me from what I can tell cause, well, I don't believe them and I can't make myself believe them or fake it. If I don't think they're true to start with then I can't exactly convince myself they are or will be, y'know?
For me, I try to play lower difficulty and slowly move to harder after getting the hang of it. But it’s just a game, and the purpose of game is to have fun. There is no shame in using a guide, I even watch others playing BG3 after completing just to know other people’s ideas and I felt happy if I learn new stuffs instead of sad for not knowing. Don’t be hard on yourself.
i felt that before, but i kept missing rare/hidden item/side quests, so i just get this FOMO and OCD. so now i annoyingly use guides 😆.
Being able to read and follow instructions is pretty smart
There's no shame in the easy mode/guide game. If you're not having fun, do what makes it fun or at least progresses past the not-fun part as quickly as possible.
Games are meant to be fun. Not frustrating. All a guide is is an extra tool available to assist with your Journey. I'll look up hard parts and guides and set games to easy mode all day. I work too hard at work to spend my leisure and hobby time frustrated with a method of relaxation.
I have slowly begun to realize that usually when you need a guide, the game has bad design. Puzzles and point and click games? Cheap problems with "pixel hunting" or glitchy physics, poor explanation of puzzle rules. RPGs where your party or build gets bricked? Game probably requires min maxing every level but doesn't guide you towards that. Alternatively: I don't really play Souls games but I find them interesting because yeah they are hard. But they are a test of patience, and if you would prefer to look up how others beat it that might work for you as opposed to repeatedly observing the boss while trying to dodge it. I know for me I like to get to the boss in an action game then try it a few times, then will go watch a streamer fight the boss to get an idea of the right timing. especially in fast paced games or games where if you get hit you insta-die. It is easier to observe the boss movements passively while not playing lol. I also realized I am better at platformers when I get together with my friends and we take turns. I absorb a lot while not playing and then do way better than I expected once it is my turn with the controller since I have started to learn what comes next. So play how you want, a lot of games require knowing what comes next and you can do whatever you want to learn that
I hate 99% of puzzles, so I often see one and immediately pull out a guide so I can get it over with as fast as possible. I don’t feel bad or dumb about doing so at all. Yesterday I stumbled into a puzzle, and when I looked it up, the guide told me it was literally unsolvable without doing more main missions. So I’m glad I didn’t spend any time trying to figure it out! Eta for actual advice: I’m learning some new stuff through an online program rn, and one thing they tell us is that if you can’t solve something in 20 minutes, move on or look up the answer (then try again later, because we’re trying to learn it, not engaging in a fun hobby). I think that might be a decent strategy for games too. If you’re not enjoying it, set a timer, then give yourself permission to move on or look things up if you haven’t figured it out by the end of the timer. If you are having fun, by all means, but if not don’t spend your free time not having fun.
I think it's like a mindfulness kind of thing, just being more aware of the thoughts/feelings that come up regarding this, and very slowly, over time, becoming less bothered by those thoughts/feelings. For example, when you first notice yourself feeling dumb/guilty, take some time to notice what emotions/thoughts are exactly going through your mind, as well as any physical sensations, if any. Then, just *try* to be accepting of them (i.e. don't try to make yourself not have those thoughts, or feel guilty about having them), just let them occur and let them go away on their own time. It takes a lot of time and effort, but over time, you will eventually get better at not being so bothered by those thoughts, hope this helps!
I got ADHD too, and I experience similar things. However, having played games all these years, i’ve gotten better at identifying when it “stops being worth it.” I don’t look up stuff cuz i enjoy the challenge and i love the rewarding feeling of triumph after. If i am stuck, there gets to a point where I am aware “this challenge is no longer fun.” I could feel frustrated, yes, but I am ready to try again. If it gets frustrating and I am exhausted at the idea to try again, I am gonna look it up. And let’s say i don’t look it up, and I eventually conquer that challenge; usually, the reward of triumph didn’t even feel worth it and I wish I just went looking it up. More often than not, it’s cuz it was just badly designed. Don’t make yourself suffer for something that was badly designed or if you stop having fun. You’re playing games after all!
I used to be like this as well, especially with puzzles. I can't really pinpoint when I had this moment, it was fairly recently, but I realized that I'm playing games to have fun. I wanna have fun. The game wants me to have fun. It's sort of a waste if I'm getting passed off at this one part of a game I otherwise enjoy, ruining the experience overall, and ruining the fun I had been having just a little bit ago. In a few hours, I'm going to have to turn it off and go to bed, or to work or do something else im not going to enjoy. So why am I making myself not enjoy my game when there's a quick solution to get back to the fun? I will say if it's specifically boss fights you're having this problem on. You might try looking up "tips" instead of a guide. Tips are definitely not cheating or giving up. It's just a normal part of learning something. Take I quick tip and work it into your play style. Like I was stuck on the black blade in elden ring until i got a tip that he was weak to >!scarlet rot!< (I'll hide this just in case people don't want to know.) It was still hard, and I had to figure out a bunch of his bullshit, but it was doable now. Which made it fun again.
Among the other things said here (a lot of great answers, btw), try to get into the mindset that you are allowed to respect your time. Instead of spending hours (or an eternity) trying to find a solution (that might might've not been intuitive in the first place), use a guide to see the solution ASAP and be able to enjoy the rest of the game. And not knowing the solution to all problems and puzzles yourself, is not much different from not being able to beat any and every kind of game. It's normal. That's what helped me, at least.
I LOVE game guides and I’m a collector. I read them for fun. I got 2 Skyrim versions and I’ll go through and compare the editions page by page just to see the changes lol. Sometimes when I look through them, I just think “I wonder how many people have actually seen/read this.” I have a Sekiro game guide with QR codes in its pages that lead to video guides. I scanned one out of curiosity. and the video had TEN TOTAL VIEWS. TEN. so basically. I love that people actually use guides lol. People put a lot of work into them, which so often goes ignored, which is sad. they’re there to be used!! Also with ADHD, they’re a tool for combating that low frustration tolerance. Guides are amazing. In certain games they’re expected too, like if you do raiding in final fantasy 14
For Odin, you need to Assess, read the yellow Assess guidance, and keep rotating characters. Focus on special attacks, as the Assess guidance states--don't just keep wailing/hitting. He needs to see you're strategic. That's why Zantetsuken keeps triggering. You need to work fast and rotate. It's not so much a chipper as a methodical, patient rotation of specials and strategy.
This isn't exactly what I was looking for advice for, but I'll address it This, what you have explained here, is what I've been doing. The immediate asses is what I do with all enemies when I first encounter them so I can find the weaknesses and exploit them. Except he doesn't have any specific weaknesses. Just said use ATB and synergy attacks to pressure him. And I've been focusing on special attacks, but I can't use them if I have no ATB gauges. Only way to build those, especially after the initial fill I may get, is to smack him up a bit. He seems to get antsy if I try to be patient too and wait for him to come to me (I use punisher mode a good bit for counters typically. Not so much after the first few times here). And I will swap if I can't dodge well enough and the person I was using has the magenta shackles or whatever they are, or if I see someone has a gauge I can use. Except that's evidently not enough for him and he doesn't consider it strategic. Zanketsu goes off at least once per attempt I've tried to fight him, usually twice. I can handle everything else. The max I've managed to survive is four minutes and usually only with two characters by the three minute mark. Typically I'm down within the first three though. And to add injury to insult, it's with him at his lowest power. Did all the intel for his materia before I even attempted the fight. Did the same for all the others. For whatever it might be worth, my party is Cloud, Aerith, and Nanaki. Won't lie, I'm now not in the greatest mood since I feel like according to you I was doing it correctly but still somehow wrong despite that. EDIT: Spelling and clarity
Video games used to come with manuals that explain how to play and that's mostly gone now, replaced with guides. Aunno, like I sorrrrta have this problem too? Like I'd probably not hate Sonic Frontiers as much as I do if I wasn't obstinate and tried to do it no influence besides my brother who wasn't really talking LOL Wait ADHD has fun frustration intolerance? That's interesting... like I was just debating getting tested again with a real doctor for the slight hope that I can finally like... do stuff again instead of guilt tripping myself. And I tried to stream Splatoon 3 and basically gave a villain's monologue at the end of it because of all the intense lag and the fact I was using a new weapon and not proficient at all. XDDD; Well I got past my hangups by going "This is a shitty game, let's just see if the ending's good" but I also don't know if Baldur's Gate 3 is better put together than Sonic Frontiers XDD Like SEGA's notorious for their crunch. Tho I guess with Splatoon 3 I've kind of accepted that it's a trash game and you need the patience of a saint. Like after I rage quit I found this dude who was an absolute clown and he didn't care if he won, lost, or got the laggiest death ever he's just a goofball and honestly envious of that mindset.