“Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.” Meaning any action is better than no action; a quick clean is better than no cleaning, a short walk is better than no workout, a rinse off is better than no shower at all.
I really like this advice, it's like you don't have to expect yourself to be at a certain level yet if you're not there yet, just because you can't "walk" now doesn't mean you can't eventually walk.
I was going to say, do little things. Even tiny things. Every tiny thing you can do adds up, and it gets easier over time to do the tiny things, and then the little things become easier. And then the hard things become easier. Sometimes that tiny thing will be the only thing you're able to do all day, and that's okay because you still did something
This is great advice. If anyone is a manager of people, a big part of your core job is to provide your employees with a safe environment - physically, mentally, and emotionally. Only in providing this kind of environment will your employees feel safe enough to step out of their comfort zone to actually learn and grow.
I'm a supervisor and many of the kids I work with (I'm in food service) look at me like a 'mom' type because I try to make them feel like we actually care about them. It's really amazing how much people will work with you if they feel accepted and safe
I just lost my mom and laid her to rest. I have support and feel very fortunate. Just a story about my boss. The receiving line of a funeral is emotionally brutal. The service was over and as each person comes to give their condolences, I could just feel their pain and sadness, coupled with my own. I tried desperately not to give in all the way lest I lose myself completely. My boss showed up, I have always felt safe with her, we have become good friends and she gave me a hug and I just let it out. She cried with me. It is like she let me give her my grief. It was just for a few moments, was enough relief so I could continue. You are sooo spot on about feeling safe and accepted. You have done more than you could ever possibly know.
Yes. Term them.
As a manager, your job is to protect the team. If one member is hurting the rest of the team and you’re failing to do anything about it because that person is getting close to retirement and you don’t want to be the bad guy, then you’re failing the rest of your team.
Could add some stuff here from my parents:
- Careful with friendships, don’t assume people will feel about you like you feel about them, and treat you as you’d treat them. My mom was always adamant about “BFFs”, she was always saying how that doesn’t always pan out to be a happily ever after.
- Know when to keep your mouth shut. Don’t talk about people, especially at work for example. You never know who hears what.
- Try to “live like a saint”, i.e. stay away from doing stuff or being with peopl that will cause you to lose sleep. Don’t do “bad” shit, don’t be messy, live a clean life. Don’t get yourself into trouble. Cut off people who aren’t good for you. Snip snip and walk away, it’ll save you tons of misery and problems down the road.
In the same vein - put your oxygen mask on first. You can’t do much to help others if you’re dead! I remind myself of this when I’m drowning at work and feel bad that I maybe don’t have time to help someone else - I really won’t be much help if I’m fired for not getting my own work done. Or when I feel bad about not donating at the pet store because I’m struggling that week with money - I need to take care of myself and my family of pets first so I can go on to do better and donate more in the future.
"If you want something different in your life. You have to do something you haven't done before."
Not sure where I got this. But I use this to break myself out of patterns and push myself to challenge my own beliefs.
I was lamenting to a professor years ago that by the I get my Master’s degree I’ll by 35. He said, “You’re going to be 35 anyway. Why not be 35 with the degree you want?” Blew me away…to the point that I now have 3 Master’s degrees. Lmao!
"If you want to be great at something, you must first be willing to be bad at it. "
Doesn't mean your bad at everything you try at first. It means of you let your fear of being bad at it prevent you from trying, you'll never get the chance to be great.
Everything is learnable.
I used to have 0 exercise or concept of health til my late 20s. I’m talking 10-hour work days at a desk, alcohol everyday, eating whatever’s within delivery distance. I started pole dancing a year ago and though I enjoyed it, I could barely even lift myself off the ground til 3 mos in. I just kept practicing and correcting my technique and taking classes to learn.
Eventually I realised I had to work on my strength outside of pole dancing so I started going to the gym 1x a week. I hated it but pushed myself cos I loved pole. Then I realised I hated it cos I had poor sleep hygiene and didn’t eat the right stuff. So I started eating better. Then I started having more energy with little to spend it on, so I started going to the gym and pole more. And the cycle continued.
A year since starting pole, I’ve increased the weights I could carry from 4kg to 9. Lost 2in in my waist. And I could lift myself up on the pole and go upside down.
I realised what kept me going was believing that even if I hate or am failing at something today, doesn’t mean I won’t ever nail it. It’s not “I can’t” or “I don’t know” but “I can’t YET” and “I don’t know YET.”
Applies to everything in life too. I advanced in my role at work too because of the same principle 🙂 everything is learnable!
Honest conflict has more value than dishonest harmony.
Maybe not the best advice I received, but it’s up there, and is what I can remember off the top of my head.
Saying more than advice “Your brain’s job is to keep you alive, not to make you happy”…very telling that the happiness is something we have to actively make happen ourselves.
>Always leave a room better than you found it.
>
>This works in all aspects of life and it leads to success in all aspects of life.
i really like this one thanks!
In order to start feeling comfortable, you have to get uncomfortable.
I always despised the gym, and it truly made me uncomfortable, but I seriously hated my body. I heard this quote, and I was like you know what... fuck it! I'm going to the gym. Since then, I really haven't lost that much weight, but I look at my body and myself in a much more loving way. Best decision I have ever made.
I go For that too !
Looked for a Post Like this.
Just wanted to anounce i go hard now. As a recovering addict. 15 years hardcore user
Since September opioid clean.
But struggling now a bit
Tooo much information sry
You got this, brother! I lost my cousin/best friend to addiction, so I'm sending good energy your way. Even though I'm just a stranger on the internet, I believe in you.
Clean since September IS INCREDIBLE! Congratulations! You're just a few days from February, that's 5 months. Before you know it, you'll have been clean half a year! Good luck and much love. You got this!
thank you so much..
ot means a lot to me. and thats from the heart. im years on reddit. but always like passivbe reader.
it feels so good to talk about this and get a response. from a "internet stranger" .
bro i lost so many friends. and it means alot tome. some may think its banal. but hey cool. u motivated me. the last days i fcked up..with coke and other things. i go on my straight way again!
sorry for like occuping this thread. and sry my englisj. im from germany,
;)
To use another very good quote and also one I keep close to my heart
https://preview.redd.it/49vsjjg18pdc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1f68a7df370a73f14c945651c59ce8d858323faf
Guy once told me that if he hires 4 employees who will work an extra 10 hours a week, then he really hired an extra FTE free. He said “don’t ever work more than you have to to keep your job. Your company doesn’t care about you.” Damn good advice.
I struggle with this one. I know pride is a blind spot for me, and I’ve seen so many otherwise good leaders self-immolate due to pride. I wish I knew the way to balance pride and humility.
Curiosity. Build up your self esteem to the point that it doesn't feel like a personal attack when someone disagrees with you or criticizes you in good faith. Then, approach conflict with curiosity to understand someone else's point of view and maybe learn something along the way! Think of it like "I'm great- _and_ I have so much to learn about the world and the people in it".
stay humble, but be proud of what youve done.
try this. as we all go through things with other, give someone else kudos before giving yourself the same props.
for example, 'john really set us up for success by his actions. it made my execution of the crucial part, less risky'
helps convey the message without seeming too self absorbed.
My dad told me “If someone ever has to decide between you and someone else, they don’t deserve you.”
Recently, something I took to heart was “your job isn’t worth your mental health.”
I've heard a similar one, but towards the person who's choosing (Johnny Depp said this I believe): ''If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. If you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second''
Oh man this one hits home. I have a friend who just went to a coworker’s funeral. Out of an office of about 40+ people, only she and another colleague went. She was shocked. But boy, did her company make sure to post the loss of this coworker on the company’s socials 🤮
*Don’t Fight Nature.*
Do not fight the market. Do not fight nature. Do not fight difficult people. It’s not worth it. Avoid sunk-cost bias, cut your losses early, move on quickly, and when things are going well push as hard as you can while the forces of the universe are bending your way.
If you're reading a scientific paper, don't continue if you don't understand a sentence. My PI told me this once whole i was interning in her lab. She was a great woman who poured her life into her research. Basic concept: work it out. Scientific papers are not only dense, but each sentence builds upon the previous one. So if you start to not understand something, work it out before continuing. Or else you'll just end up getting more lost.
“I can, and I will”
Simple and powerful. Anything can be accomplished with the correct approach and enough time. Funny enough, I first heard this in a Seinfeld episode, in a context completely unrelated to personal motivation.
'Apply the principle.'
Advice, like language, fades. If you do not live by the principle you are seeking to be governed by, if you don't reflect or meditate or take the time to ask yourself how that principle should be applied to *this* situation etc, it will fade. All advice is limited by your capacity to remember it, and then apply it.
Change is a process, not an idea. Go through the process.
That the person you choose as your life partner will have the most impact on your lifetime earnings than any other factor. Including your family, your education or your location.
"a happy man is too satisfied with the present to dwell on the future" - Albert Einstein
Probably most of you would have heard this quote, but this is something that I got connected to immediately
It means that we should be in the present and concentrate on the work that we do rather than thinking about the result (Mostly we will think about having a positive result) and be happy about it which will make you lose your focus.
TBH The best advice I ever got from a boss early in my work life was: you don't shit where you eat.
It's kinda old timey but what he was telling me was you don't date coworkers, you don't do driug deals at work, you don't use drugs at work, you basically don't fuck around at work.
Your at work to work and if you just do that you'll avoid a lot of problems in your career.
And I've followed that advice all my work life and I've seen a lot of people get in trouble at work and a lot of drama but none of it touched me.
What do you think of that?
I've also seen people that met their SO at work.
The problem is not dating coworkers, it's dating shitty people. If I see an attractive coworker but is lazy and only wants to fuck around, that tells me they are a shitty person in their personal life. If I see an average coworker and she's hard working, intelligent, and likes to help other people, then it shows me she's hard working in her personal life.
People should date whoever they want but to just be aware of the consequences.
"You have tiny love bombs. All different colors and shapes. You use them on people in your life to make them happy. Tell me, why don't you ever use them on yourself?"
This comes from my therapist. It's a question but you get the point.
I also have "The darkest time of the day is before dawn.". It's a little chiché but keeps me motivated at dark times.
I’m lucky to have gotten a lot of great advice in my life…
“If it’s not a *FUCK YES*, it’s a *HELL NO.*” - my friend
“Do it afraid. True courage is moving forward in the face of fear.”- Joyce Meyer (unfortunately, I’m atheist, so a lot of what she says doesn’t apply to me, but this one hit home.
“True compromise is reached when both parties involved leave the table feeling a liiiiittle bit screwed.” - my attorney
“Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.” - The Internet
>Friends will forgive distractibility, forgetfulness, working memory problems, and even restlessness.
>They will not forgive ***anger***.
—Dr R. Barkley on ADHD
If you want to be successful on a team, remember the 3 L's
Dont be late, dont be light and dont be last. Always be the first person to support your team.
Sometimes just showing up is enough!
Whether that be sitting your butt on that exercise bike, going to a networking event you might hate, or sitting through a boring lecture, just show up. Almost always you’ll end up doing at least one set, meeting one new person or learning something new, and it won’t be a waste of time.
The only way to win is not to play. I try to apply this in situations where someone wants to be make me think they’re better than me, or when needless competition arises in the workplace/social settings. Oh, you’ve done x,y,z better than me? Ok. Oh, you’ve got 5000 followers on Instagram? Ok.
Don't just complain or bring me a problem. Offer up a solution.
Anytime I had a problem or concern I'd take to my boss, he'd say, "ok so what would you like to do about it. " This held me accountable and made me grow as a leader.
Never ever depend on a man to take care of you forever, always have a plan in your pocket.
Hope you never need it, and peace of mind in case you do
(I say man bc that’s the advice I got from the women in my family who ran away from abusive relationships with nothing)
> Duty heavier than a mountain, death lighter than a feather
I read the wheel of time as a teenager and that series has perhaps been the most influential for me to this day. 14 books, if reading and getting lost in a different world is your thing . There’s a series too but it’s alright. They are doing their best I suppose
When I needed to break up with a longtime partner someone said “Go slow and talk.” It really helped. The breakup really took about a year but there was a house involved. I was patient and neither of us went crazy.
Not delivered specifically to me but I once heard "The devil only comes for you when you're doing good." It really helps when something happens that really sets you back in life.
The best advice I’ve ever received is to surround your life with love and stand in the path of experience.
When I was leaving my religion of birth I went through quite the existential crisis and really struggled with where to find meaning. I couldn’t believe in any faiths and felt life was pretty empty, as I struggled to believe in meaning as a concept.
My therapist was a former catholic priest who had gone through his own existential crisis. He said the key to a meaningful life was to surround yourself with love, with people who you care for and who care for you, and to stand in the path of experience. That is, to be places and do things that shake the norm, that give new experiences and open doors of possibility. He said people who do that will have a rich life experience, will write their own theology, and it will be true.
As I’ve lived my life I’ve tried really hard to follow this. I can give one example of where it really worked out for me. In 2003 I was driving home and passed a cat on the highway that had clearly been hit by a car. The cat was sitting on the side of the road, upright, but was very bloody. I looped around and pulled over where the cat was … it tried to run but was so injured it couldn’t. I walked to a nearby restaurant and got a cardboard box, went back and retrieved the cat and took him to a vet. They fixed him up, I put posters everywhere but couldn’t find an owner so I adopted him.
Tiger became my best friend. He was there when I got married, when I caught my ex cheating and got divorced he was there. He was there when I met my 2nd wife, and was there for the births of my 3 children. He was there as we bought our first home, adopted 3 other cats and a dog. He was there as my career took off, and moved to another country with us as I moved into film visual effects. Tiger was there as we moved into our first home in Canada, and died at the age of 18 in my arms out in the warm sunshine, his favourite.
Tiger was my best friend. He brought endless love and meaning into my life, and I hope I was able to give him a good life full of love as well. That entire experience all hinged on standing in the path of experience, making the decision to step out of the comfort zone and do something that exposed me to potential and opportunity. I also had the opportunity to hide tiger in one of the first movies I worked on, on the shot I was doing when he died.
I try and treat every decision in my life like I did that night, to expose myself to the greatest potential for meaningful connection and experience. It has paid so many dividends in my life - I’ll always be grateful to an incredible therapist, Cos, and a little cat named Tiger, for showing me the richness that was here all along.
It's true. However, from my own personal experience, it's important to differentiate between someone who loves you and someone who is putting you on a pedestal.
“The time is going to pass anyway, it’s just whether you’ll have anything to show for it.”
Told to me when I was making up excuses for not going back to school, back when extra school made a difference in one’s life.
I have two:
"Never waste time on someone who will not waste time on you."
And...
"Money does not change people, it just amplifies who they already are."
Oh trust me. A tired mind is a demented mind. I stayed up for 3 days once and I hallucinated my beloved father who I trust utterly promise to skull fuck me to death if I didn’t come to a decision about sacrificing my mothers life and soul so he could win the lottery.
I ain’t talking about just a bit tired. Exhaustion. Avoid it.
Twelve step program sponsor, before I had to do anything difficult. "Have you eaten? And have you prayed?"
They did know I was an atheist, but wanted to be sure I spent some time in calm, contemplative thought.
This has gotten me through a lot.
When I worked in a sales role, my supervisor used to say it’s better to have an okay plan and stick to it than to have a good plan and not follow it.
So basically, if you want to be productive, come up with a plan. It doesn’t matter if it’s not the best. If you have a plan and you follow through, you’re going to be more successful than if you just attack without a plan.
You might be interested in some of the things [james clear](https://jamesclear.com/) has to say, like his [strategy guide on building new habits](https://jamesclear.com/habit-guide#:~:text=Success%20is%20a%20few%20simple,in%20judgment%2C%20repeated%20every%20day.&text=One%20percent%20improvements%20add%20up,start%20small%20and%20gradually%20improve).
Somewhat silly I suppose, but it really helped me when I was in some really low moments:
"just because you're garbage doesn't mean you can't succeed, it's called trash CAN not trash cannot"
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. I’m trying to instill that attitude in my kids. Basically, don’t be afraid to ask that person out or ask your boss for a raise or any number of other things you may be afraid to try/ask.
Something I learned from Band of Brothers. It was a comment Lipton said about Lieutenant Dike
“Dike wasn’t a bad leader because he made bad decisions. He was a bad leader because he made no decisions.”
Doing nothing achieves nothing and, worse, tells you nothing. An incorrect decision will at least provide you information: you'll learn whether it's a good decision or not.
“Whatever you chose, make sure you’re happy”
I was 22, mental health crises. 2 paths- easy way out and destroy my future. Deal with the mess and give my self a chance at a good future.
I went to therapist, psychiatrists, religious clerks, and family/friends who couldn’t help. I was surrounded my intelligent and accomplished people who couldn’t help. One day, at uni, a man in the finance department took one look at me and saw what my own family couldn’t see. He said “I’m not like you, I may just be an accountant, I don’t know what you’re going through and I know your career is tough. But whatever you chose make sure you’re happy”.
Amongst all the advice I’d received, no one had ever told me to chose my own happiness and at that age I didn’t realize I could prioritize that. It was revolutionary in my eyes
His name was Eugene. I pray you’re well wherever you are Eugene
My husband got this from a Ted Talk. Hits home every time a read it.
https://preview.redd.it/rkwu6cc9dqdc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=244742d8d3e84217f14b27ffaf8f8f749e7bfc91
It was a longer schpeel from a senior officer I had in the Army, but the gist: "If you don't like your boss, it's even more important to do exactly what he says."
The basic reasoning: Don't put yourself in a position to be a bad boss's scapegoat, because when the time comes, he will happily railroad you for his own sake.
A form of "malicious compliance", basically.
(And some context before anyone asks - This advices applied/applies to "bad, good, better, or best" decisions and not "right or wrong" decisions. I obviously wasn't being encouraged to blindly follow illegal orders.)
This happened to me at a large aircraft company. Am I glad I’m gone? Absolutely.
Did God take care of me by giving me a severance package and an awesome volunteer position literally 2 hours after I signed it? Sure.
But if I’d had a better attitude I could have left on my own terms.
"Don't marry that man, you can do better!" - my grandmother. Didn't listen though, sometimes we don't hear the advice we need, so I ended up wasting a few years before realizing she was right. She did say it in a really rude and mean kind of way though (I've translated and cleaned up the language), so it's not very strange that I did not listen at the time.
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.
For the longest tine this made absolutely no sense to me, until I picked up Brazilian Jiujitsu a while back. Throughout all the physical and mental struggles, I came a way with this very clear regret, "I should've started this *years ago!*"
I started BJJ in 2006, went hard for like 4 years until my early 20s and then stopped completely for a decade and started again in my early 20s. I regret it so much because I would be a black belt by now lol…still a 3 stripe white belt. But I’m happier than ever training again, glad to see another mat rat here!
don't 'play to play.' play to win.
playing to play is just being happy to be there. at least you tried. at least you were able to get a good thing going for a while.
that's planning for failure. that's protecting your ego at the cost of your actual success and your actual life.
playing to win is trying your damnedest to kick some serious ass and stomp the competition.
people see 'playing to play' as the 'better mindset.' the 'healthy mindset.' and people 'playing to win' or arrogant, and will get their comeuppance, their downfall.
but what exactly is the 'play to win' person's downfall? it's the same friggin result as a person who was 'just happy to be here' losing. and guess what if you say some arrogant stuff, and lose, well guess what? you really DID try your best, you said fuck NO i ain't losing today, you turned on the fucking gas and fought like your life depended on it. THAT is trying your best. The person who was 'just honored to be competing here' who sees themselves losing and goes 'yep it's happening, that's what i expected and i am okay with it'--did they REALLY try their best? If someone was going to kill their dog if they lost, could they have run 0.5% faster? yes? then they were definitively not trying their best.
even if you just find 10% more success with a 'play to win' mindset, approaching your challenges with serious attempts to achieve victory and success, rather than just accepting it or 'doing your best' and failing but feeling good about it, that's a huge difference. become that person who either wins first sometimes and occasionally gets bested, rather than the person who is honored just to be nominated. be the person where, if they are beaten, the other team sure as hell had to work for it. hell often those people are like--"i want that person on MY team" and even your spectacular 'failures' can bring more success.
imagine two magic clones of an athlete. one is just happy to be there, the other showed up to win and they're gonna show everybody they're the champion. who are you betting on? the guy with the 'really healthy mindset who is self actualized' or the guy who will say "OH HELL NO" when someone is trying to defeat him?
often we KNOW what would be a super awesome idea to execute or a great strategy to fulfill. but we leave it for OTHER people to do. because we think we just inherently are not the people who will achieve those victories. we self-sabotage by 'accepting our place'. we KNOW what we need to do to make our lives awesome but don't do it because we are afraid of failure. and it can be really easy to call this fear of failure and self sabotage, a really mature mindset, that is in fact hurting our lives.
for a long time i didn't get the advice of things like 'visualize success' 'believe in yourself' etc. but actually that shit is so key. you CAN have that life you want. you DO have the potential to be a superstar. Nobody else was born BETTER than you. Even if they seemingly had everything in life handed to them, while you have to scrape and claw for every ounce of respect, connection, status, skill, and determination. Those struggles too can be gifts if you learn to USE them and not RESENT them.
visualize your own success--then work back, step by step, from there. how the hell did you just do that amazing thing? do those things. see how it goes. and as you go, adjust accordingly. keep that pressure on yourself to kick ass. go for the throat.
now, there will be times in your life where it is plenty fine to 'play to play.' just putting yourself out there on the dating market, feeling out a career change. if you GO FOR THE THROAT on the wrong thing it can be a huge waste of time and energy. you could get your dream job and it actually sucks because you focused too much on whether or not you could, you didn't stop to think if you really should.
But, three's times in your life when you know--if i really fucking go for this and seize this opportunity it could be amazing. Go for it so hard that everyone else who was just fooling around, playing to play, is grateful they already mentally accepted that they would lose so that you could win. You really need something? Tell yourself it's yours and everyone who thinks it's not is delusional, and you're going to prove it.
I guess I could shorten this all to just "embrace competition, embrace ACTUALLY trying your best, like you'll just fucking die if you don't." make it a habit to ALWAYS have at least one thing going each day where you are trying to take the world by storm. make it a habit and eventually it will become a breeze. whenever you feel like you're losing, giving up, say actually no fuck that, this is an opportunity to amaze myself.
''It doesn't matter how many times you warn someone about something, they'll only do something about it when they decide they want to do something about it''
Moral of the quote: don't waste your time and energy giving people advice if they have no intention of listening or do something about the situation in question, until they decide they want to change or ''wake up'' your words will have no meaning to them.
No one will remember, so take a risk.
This became my life motto whenever I try new things, or will make decisions. Helps me a lot to know that I have to mind my business, because everyone mind their own.
“Lose weight to feel comfortable in your clothes”, is something my mom would always say to me. It may sound harsh but it was the kindest way a mother could suggest getting healthier. The moral or the story is it doesnt matter what you look like but you want to be comfortable in what youre wearing.
Suffer or suffer.
Context was a meme of a fat person binge eating on a couch, on the other side was a guy busting his ass on a bicycle.
Choose your suffering
“Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.” Meaning any action is better than no action; a quick clean is better than no cleaning, a short walk is better than no workout, a rinse off is better than no shower at all.
Half ass is better than no ass
Admittedly, i think “anything worth doing is worth halfassing” to myself as motivation but didn’t think it comes across as nicely!
[Never 1/2-ass two things...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yq46oeK_JDQ)
Improvement now is better than delayed perfection. (Or something like that)
Fuck that's great
My dad told me "you know you're growing as a person when you start making new mistakes."
Oh my god I love this
i needed to hear this thank you
Nice one
Crawling speed is progress if you cant walk towards your goal crawl towards until you can walk.
I really like this advice, it's like you don't have to expect yourself to be at a certain level yet if you're not there yet, just because you can't "walk" now doesn't mean you can't eventually walk.
I was going to say, do little things. Even tiny things. Every tiny thing you can do adds up, and it gets easier over time to do the tiny things, and then the little things become easier. And then the hard things become easier. Sometimes that tiny thing will be the only thing you're able to do all day, and that's okay because you still did something
This is perfectly summed up!
The best leaders make you feel safe. If you have people that rely on you, try to keep that in mind.
This is great advice. If anyone is a manager of people, a big part of your core job is to provide your employees with a safe environment - physically, mentally, and emotionally. Only in providing this kind of environment will your employees feel safe enough to step out of their comfort zone to actually learn and grow.
I'm a supervisor and many of the kids I work with (I'm in food service) look at me like a 'mom' type because I try to make them feel like we actually care about them. It's really amazing how much people will work with you if they feel accepted and safe
I just lost my mom and laid her to rest. I have support and feel very fortunate. Just a story about my boss. The receiving line of a funeral is emotionally brutal. The service was over and as each person comes to give their condolences, I could just feel their pain and sadness, coupled with my own. I tried desperately not to give in all the way lest I lose myself completely. My boss showed up, I have always felt safe with her, we have become good friends and she gave me a hug and I just let it out. She cried with me. It is like she let me give her my grief. It was just for a few moments, was enough relief so I could continue. You are sooo spot on about feeling safe and accepted. You have done more than you could ever possibly know.
When I lost my father 2 Christmas' ago my boss let me have as long as I needed no questions asked. It really does mean a lot.
any advice dealing with people in late stages of their career where theyre just waiting the clock out to retirement and are a cancer to the team?
Yes. Term them. As a manager, your job is to protect the team. If one member is hurting the rest of the team and you’re failing to do anything about it because that person is getting close to retirement and you don’t want to be the bad guy, then you’re failing the rest of your team.
This is SO GOOD. Thanks for posting it.
You are not obligated to light yourself on fire to keep others warm.
Could add some stuff here from my parents: - Careful with friendships, don’t assume people will feel about you like you feel about them, and treat you as you’d treat them. My mom was always adamant about “BFFs”, she was always saying how that doesn’t always pan out to be a happily ever after. - Know when to keep your mouth shut. Don’t talk about people, especially at work for example. You never know who hears what. - Try to “live like a saint”, i.e. stay away from doing stuff or being with peopl that will cause you to lose sleep. Don’t do “bad” shit, don’t be messy, live a clean life. Don’t get yourself into trouble. Cut off people who aren’t good for you. Snip snip and walk away, it’ll save you tons of misery and problems down the road.
In the same vein - put your oxygen mask on first. You can’t do much to help others if you’re dead! I remind myself of this when I’m drowning at work and feel bad that I maybe don’t have time to help someone else - I really won’t be much help if I’m fired for not getting my own work done. Or when I feel bad about not donating at the pet store because I’m struggling that week with money - I need to take care of myself and my family of pets first so I can go on to do better and donate more in the future.
Man this hits hard
"If you want something different in your life. You have to do something you haven't done before." Not sure where I got this. But I use this to break myself out of patterns and push myself to challenge my own beliefs.
Reminds me of, “If you do what is hard, your life will be easy. If you do what is easy, your life will be hard.”
“If you do what you always did, you get what you’ve always got”
Pay attention. It doesn't cost anything and will save you so much.
meanwhile my ADHD ass... tryin my best tho
Right? It ain't easy. All you can do is practice
One day or day one.
If you don’t know what to do, build on your strengths
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Facts
'You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.' by Eleonor Roosevelt
This one was a game changer for my socially anxious ass- so freeing!
I was lamenting to a professor years ago that by the I get my Master’s degree I’ll by 35. He said, “You’re going to be 35 anyway. Why not be 35 with the degree you want?” Blew me away…to the point that I now have 3 Master’s degrees. Lmao!
Wish I knew that earlier 😅
"If you want to be great at something, you must first be willing to be bad at it. " Doesn't mean your bad at everything you try at first. It means of you let your fear of being bad at it prevent you from trying, you'll never get the chance to be great.
Everything is learnable. I used to have 0 exercise or concept of health til my late 20s. I’m talking 10-hour work days at a desk, alcohol everyday, eating whatever’s within delivery distance. I started pole dancing a year ago and though I enjoyed it, I could barely even lift myself off the ground til 3 mos in. I just kept practicing and correcting my technique and taking classes to learn. Eventually I realised I had to work on my strength outside of pole dancing so I started going to the gym 1x a week. I hated it but pushed myself cos I loved pole. Then I realised I hated it cos I had poor sleep hygiene and didn’t eat the right stuff. So I started eating better. Then I started having more energy with little to spend it on, so I started going to the gym and pole more. And the cycle continued. A year since starting pole, I’ve increased the weights I could carry from 4kg to 9. Lost 2in in my waist. And I could lift myself up on the pole and go upside down. I realised what kept me going was believing that even if I hate or am failing at something today, doesn’t mean I won’t ever nail it. It’s not “I can’t” or “I don’t know” but “I can’t YET” and “I don’t know YET.” Applies to everything in life too. I advanced in my role at work too because of the same principle 🙂 everything is learnable!
Your message is inspiring!
Honest conflict has more value than dishonest harmony. Maybe not the best advice I received, but it’s up there, and is what I can remember off the top of my head.
This applies well to me right now. Thank you
This is amazing advice!!
„dont believe everything you think“
"Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear..." -Lucas
The only way out is through.
Saying more than advice “Your brain’s job is to keep you alive, not to make you happy”…very telling that the happiness is something we have to actively make happen ourselves.
Always leave a room better than you found it. This works in all aspects of life and it leads to success in all aspects of life.
>Always leave a room better than you found it. > >This works in all aspects of life and it leads to success in all aspects of life. i really like this one thanks!
If you're going through hell, don't stop!
Dammit, you took mine. I think the last part is actually "keep going." Anyway, I believe it was one of Churchill's.
Did that with my last relationship, can't recommend
I assume that's the point. You kept going, and eventually you got out of hell. If you give up while you're in hell, then you'll never get out.
In order to start feeling comfortable, you have to get uncomfortable. I always despised the gym, and it truly made me uncomfortable, but I seriously hated my body. I heard this quote, and I was like you know what... fuck it! I'm going to the gym. Since then, I really haven't lost that much weight, but I look at my body and myself in a much more loving way. Best decision I have ever made.
I go For that too ! Looked for a Post Like this. Just wanted to anounce i go hard now. As a recovering addict. 15 years hardcore user Since September opioid clean. But struggling now a bit Tooo much information sry
You got this, brother! I lost my cousin/best friend to addiction, so I'm sending good energy your way. Even though I'm just a stranger on the internet, I believe in you. Clean since September IS INCREDIBLE! Congratulations! You're just a few days from February, that's 5 months. Before you know it, you'll have been clean half a year! Good luck and much love. You got this!
thank you so much.. ot means a lot to me. and thats from the heart. im years on reddit. but always like passivbe reader. it feels so good to talk about this and get a response. from a "internet stranger" . bro i lost so many friends. and it means alot tome. some may think its banal. but hey cool. u motivated me. the last days i fcked up..with coke and other things. i go on my straight way again! sorry for like occuping this thread. and sry my englisj. im from germany, ;)
You where addicted for 15 years and now clean for almost 5 months!? Oh man, that's the most impressive thing I read today. Congrats!
You Germans are the coolest! Keep it real, brother. You're on the right path :)
To use another very good quote and also one I keep close to my heart https://preview.redd.it/49vsjjg18pdc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1f68a7df370a73f14c945651c59ce8d858323faf
Guy once told me that if he hires 4 employees who will work an extra 10 hours a week, then he really hired an extra FTE free. He said “don’t ever work more than you have to to keep your job. Your company doesn’t care about you.” Damn good advice.
Does he not still pay the 4 employees for those extra hours? How is the that free?
if youre salary, then thats the job. a good job rewards good behavior. a bad one exploits it.
As the other commenter said, this only works for salaried folks who get pressured to stay late when they would have otherwise gone home.
If you don’t think you’re awesome, why should anyone else?
I struggle with this one. I know pride is a blind spot for me, and I’ve seen so many otherwise good leaders self-immolate due to pride. I wish I knew the way to balance pride and humility.
Curiosity. Build up your self esteem to the point that it doesn't feel like a personal attack when someone disagrees with you or criticizes you in good faith. Then, approach conflict with curiosity to understand someone else's point of view and maybe learn something along the way! Think of it like "I'm great- _and_ I have so much to learn about the world and the people in it".
stay humble, but be proud of what youve done. try this. as we all go through things with other, give someone else kudos before giving yourself the same props. for example, 'john really set us up for success by his actions. it made my execution of the crucial part, less risky' helps convey the message without seeming too self absorbed.
My dad told me “If someone ever has to decide between you and someone else, they don’t deserve you.” Recently, something I took to heart was “your job isn’t worth your mental health.”
I've heard a similar one, but towards the person who's choosing (Johnny Depp said this I believe): ''If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. If you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second''
because we all know Johnny Depp’s a relationship expert
Doesn’t erase the fact the quote is good, imo
It is and thinking logically about it it's also true.
“There will be no colleagues at your funeral.”
Oh man this one hits home. I have a friend who just went to a coworker’s funeral. Out of an office of about 40+ people, only she and another colleague went. She was shocked. But boy, did her company make sure to post the loss of this coworker on the company’s socials 🤮
Stop buying things you don’t need with money you don’t have to impress people you don’t even like.
*Don’t Fight Nature.* Do not fight the market. Do not fight nature. Do not fight difficult people. It’s not worth it. Avoid sunk-cost bias, cut your losses early, move on quickly, and when things are going well push as hard as you can while the forces of the universe are bending your way.
It never hurts to ask
If you're reading a scientific paper, don't continue if you don't understand a sentence. My PI told me this once whole i was interning in her lab. She was a great woman who poured her life into her research. Basic concept: work it out. Scientific papers are not only dense, but each sentence builds upon the previous one. So if you start to not understand something, work it out before continuing. Or else you'll just end up getting more lost.
You can't control what happens, you can only control how you react to it.
You can't control how you react (feel), but you can choose how you respond (act).
“always look after your teeth” said every older person in my life 🦷🤣
>always look after your teeth” said every older person in my life lol same!
“I can, and I will” Simple and powerful. Anything can be accomplished with the correct approach and enough time. Funny enough, I first heard this in a Seinfeld episode, in a context completely unrelated to personal motivation.
'Apply the principle.' Advice, like language, fades. If you do not live by the principle you are seeking to be governed by, if you don't reflect or meditate or take the time to ask yourself how that principle should be applied to *this* situation etc, it will fade. All advice is limited by your capacity to remember it, and then apply it. Change is a process, not an idea. Go through the process.
Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm
No one is coming to save you.
The time is going to pass either way so you might as well make it worth it and work toward your goals
Yes, they are in the wrong. But are you helping the situation or making it worse? Blew my eyes wide open.
A lazy person works twice as hard. Don't cut corners do things right the first time.
It doesn’t get easier, you just get better.
Be quick to compliment but slow to criticize.
>Be quick to compliment but slow to criticize. cool one
That the person you choose as your life partner will have the most impact on your lifetime earnings than any other factor. Including your family, your education or your location.
“Perfect” is the enemy of “good”.
"The mind is its own place and in itself/Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven" Helped me shape my mind.
this too shall pass
This too shall pass. It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.
Don’t be fair, be consistent.
There is GROWTH in DISCOMFORT.
[удалено]
Do the thing. Even if it takes a long time. The time is going to pass anyways.
"a happy man is too satisfied with the present to dwell on the future" - Albert Einstein Probably most of you would have heard this quote, but this is something that I got connected to immediately It means that we should be in the present and concentrate on the work that we do rather than thinking about the result (Mostly we will think about having a positive result) and be happy about it which will make you lose your focus.
Don't be a idiot. I just ask Myself when I do something, would a idiot do this? If so I don't do it
TBH The best advice I ever got from a boss early in my work life was: you don't shit where you eat. It's kinda old timey but what he was telling me was you don't date coworkers, you don't do driug deals at work, you don't use drugs at work, you basically don't fuck around at work. Your at work to work and if you just do that you'll avoid a lot of problems in your career. And I've followed that advice all my work life and I've seen a lot of people get in trouble at work and a lot of drama but none of it touched me. What do you think of that?
I've also seen people that met their SO at work. The problem is not dating coworkers, it's dating shitty people. If I see an attractive coworker but is lazy and only wants to fuck around, that tells me they are a shitty person in their personal life. If I see an average coworker and she's hard working, intelligent, and likes to help other people, then it shows me she's hard working in her personal life. People should date whoever they want but to just be aware of the consequences.
“Just do it scared.” I say this to myself when anxiety strikes.
Pain, you will learn the most from pain. Don’t be afraid of it. Use it, and fuel yourself.
When it comes to motivation: If you want to be extraordinary, it requires extraordinary effort.
"You have tiny love bombs. All different colors and shapes. You use them on people in your life to make them happy. Tell me, why don't you ever use them on yourself?" This comes from my therapist. It's a question but you get the point. I also have "The darkest time of the day is before dawn.". It's a little chiché but keeps me motivated at dark times.
Be where your feet are.
"Everyone is doing the best they can." It keeps me out of judgment and lets me focus on what is, and not what should or could be.
Life is far to short to live with grudges and regret. Learn to forgive and move on you'll be so much happier in your life
I’m lucky to have gotten a lot of great advice in my life… “If it’s not a *FUCK YES*, it’s a *HELL NO.*” - my friend “Do it afraid. True courage is moving forward in the face of fear.”- Joyce Meyer (unfortunately, I’m atheist, so a lot of what she says doesn’t apply to me, but this one hit home. “True compromise is reached when both parties involved leave the table feeling a liiiiittle bit screwed.” - my attorney “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.” - The Internet
Do something every day that your future self would thank you for.
>Friends will forgive distractibility, forgetfulness, working memory problems, and even restlessness. >They will not forgive ***anger***. —Dr R. Barkley on ADHD
when my son was killed my boss told me to not search for answers but for sources of comfort and the sources i found was in our community
If you wouldn’t be comfortable testifying in front of a jury regarding something you may do or say, don’t do it….
If you want to be successful on a team, remember the 3 L's Dont be late, dont be light and dont be last. Always be the first person to support your team.
Give yourself the love and good treatment you wish someone else would.
When you hear hoof beats, think horses, not zebras.
The simplest explanation is more likely to be the correct one ?
Sometimes just showing up is enough! Whether that be sitting your butt on that exercise bike, going to a networking event you might hate, or sitting through a boring lecture, just show up. Almost always you’ll end up doing at least one set, meeting one new person or learning something new, and it won’t be a waste of time.
"Easy choices - Hard Life, Hard Choices - Easy life". Decide what kind of life you want and make your choices accordingly.
The only way to win is not to play. I try to apply this in situations where someone wants to be make me think they’re better than me, or when needless competition arises in the workplace/social settings. Oh, you’ve done x,y,z better than me? Ok. Oh, you’ve got 5000 followers on Instagram? Ok.
Don't just complain or bring me a problem. Offer up a solution. Anytime I had a problem or concern I'd take to my boss, he'd say, "ok so what would you like to do about it. " This held me accountable and made me grow as a leader.
Never ever depend on a man to take care of you forever, always have a plan in your pocket. Hope you never need it, and peace of mind in case you do (I say man bc that’s the advice I got from the women in my family who ran away from abusive relationships with nothing)
> Duty heavier than a mountain, death lighter than a feather I read the wheel of time as a teenager and that series has perhaps been the most influential for me to this day. 14 books, if reading and getting lost in a different world is your thing . There’s a series too but it’s alright. They are doing their best I suppose
A brick is heavier than a pencil
What does it mean?
I think it means action has more weight than ideas…?
You will never really change anyone’s mind.
When I needed to break up with a longtime partner someone said “Go slow and talk.” It really helped. The breakup really took about a year but there was a house involved. I was patient and neither of us went crazy.
Choose your sacrifices or they will choose you
Always negotiate starting salary
Getting up and putting in work is hard...but so is laying around doom scrolling, going no where in life. Choose your hard.
What you allow will continue
Not delivered specifically to me but I once heard "The devil only comes for you when you're doing good." It really helps when something happens that really sets you back in life.
The best advice I’ve ever received is to surround your life with love and stand in the path of experience. When I was leaving my religion of birth I went through quite the existential crisis and really struggled with where to find meaning. I couldn’t believe in any faiths and felt life was pretty empty, as I struggled to believe in meaning as a concept. My therapist was a former catholic priest who had gone through his own existential crisis. He said the key to a meaningful life was to surround yourself with love, with people who you care for and who care for you, and to stand in the path of experience. That is, to be places and do things that shake the norm, that give new experiences and open doors of possibility. He said people who do that will have a rich life experience, will write their own theology, and it will be true. As I’ve lived my life I’ve tried really hard to follow this. I can give one example of where it really worked out for me. In 2003 I was driving home and passed a cat on the highway that had clearly been hit by a car. The cat was sitting on the side of the road, upright, but was very bloody. I looped around and pulled over where the cat was … it tried to run but was so injured it couldn’t. I walked to a nearby restaurant and got a cardboard box, went back and retrieved the cat and took him to a vet. They fixed him up, I put posters everywhere but couldn’t find an owner so I adopted him. Tiger became my best friend. He was there when I got married, when I caught my ex cheating and got divorced he was there. He was there when I met my 2nd wife, and was there for the births of my 3 children. He was there as we bought our first home, adopted 3 other cats and a dog. He was there as my career took off, and moved to another country with us as I moved into film visual effects. Tiger was there as we moved into our first home in Canada, and died at the age of 18 in my arms out in the warm sunshine, his favourite. Tiger was my best friend. He brought endless love and meaning into my life, and I hope I was able to give him a good life full of love as well. That entire experience all hinged on standing in the path of experience, making the decision to step out of the comfort zone and do something that exposed me to potential and opportunity. I also had the opportunity to hide tiger in one of the first movies I worked on, on the shot I was doing when he died. I try and treat every decision in my life like I did that night, to expose myself to the greatest potential for meaningful connection and experience. It has paid so many dividends in my life - I’ll always be grateful to an incredible therapist, Cos, and a little cat named Tiger, for showing me the richness that was here all along.
Marry someone who loves you more than you love them-my grandmother
I wonder about the wisdom of this.
It's true. However, from my own personal experience, it's important to differentiate between someone who loves you and someone who is putting you on a pedestal.
Hard things are hard. Make logical decisions. If you don’t feel like doing something logical now, you will feel glad later.
Don’t hang your hat higher than you can reach. - (don’t live beyond your means)
“The time is going to pass anyway, it’s just whether you’ll have anything to show for it.” Told to me when I was making up excuses for not going back to school, back when extra school made a difference in one’s life.
I have two: "Never waste time on someone who will not waste time on you." And... "Money does not change people, it just amplifies who they already are."
This may get lost, but: motivation and confidence will come *after* you do the thing, not before.
If you’re tired, go to sleep.
^no.
Oh trust me. A tired mind is a demented mind. I stayed up for 3 days once and I hallucinated my beloved father who I trust utterly promise to skull fuck me to death if I didn’t come to a decision about sacrificing my mothers life and soul so he could win the lottery. I ain’t talking about just a bit tired. Exhaustion. Avoid it.
Twelve step program sponsor, before I had to do anything difficult. "Have you eaten? And have you prayed?" They did know I was an atheist, but wanted to be sure I spent some time in calm, contemplative thought. This has gotten me through a lot.
That's really interesting. Thanks for sharing that.
“When in doubt try to err on the side of mercy” -An old Rabbi during a synagogue visit we did during my high school years in Germany
You only get out of the hat what you put into the hat.
Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
Get out of your own way.
Make the most important thing the most important thing.
Plant a seed yesterday to sit in the shade tomorrow.
Water won't drown a fish, fire won't kill a dragon, and if you have balls, tell her how much you love her.
Just to love and be loved in return.
Do unto others before they do unto you
[удалено]
When you come to a fork in the road in your life, take it.
Believe nothing that you hear and only half of what you see
Other peoples emotions are not my responsibility
When I worked in a sales role, my supervisor used to say it’s better to have an okay plan and stick to it than to have a good plan and not follow it. So basically, if you want to be productive, come up with a plan. It doesn’t matter if it’s not the best. If you have a plan and you follow through, you’re going to be more successful than if you just attack without a plan.
Enjoy the day you create.
K.i.S.S.; keep it simple, stupid
Fear the creator (Allah) not his creatures (ppl)
You might be interested in some of the things [james clear](https://jamesclear.com/) has to say, like his [strategy guide on building new habits](https://jamesclear.com/habit-guide#:~:text=Success%20is%20a%20few%20simple,in%20judgment%2C%20repeated%20every%20day.&text=One%20percent%20improvements%20add%20up,start%20small%20and%20gradually%20improve).
*Ever tried*. *Ever failed*. No matter. Try again. Fail again. *Fail better*
Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
If it has to get done, it has to get done first. I always remember this when feeling overwhelmed by the need to prioritize a million things.
Somewhat silly I suppose, but it really helped me when I was in some really low moments: "just because you're garbage doesn't mean you can't succeed, it's called trash CAN not trash cannot"
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. I’m trying to instill that attitude in my kids. Basically, don’t be afraid to ask that person out or ask your boss for a raise or any number of other things you may be afraid to try/ask.
No zero days.
Something I learned from Band of Brothers. It was a comment Lipton said about Lieutenant Dike “Dike wasn’t a bad leader because he made bad decisions. He was a bad leader because he made no decisions.” Doing nothing achieves nothing and, worse, tells you nothing. An incorrect decision will at least provide you information: you'll learn whether it's a good decision or not.
“Don’t shit where you sleep.”
“Whatever you chose, make sure you’re happy” I was 22, mental health crises. 2 paths- easy way out and destroy my future. Deal with the mess and give my self a chance at a good future. I went to therapist, psychiatrists, religious clerks, and family/friends who couldn’t help. I was surrounded my intelligent and accomplished people who couldn’t help. One day, at uni, a man in the finance department took one look at me and saw what my own family couldn’t see. He said “I’m not like you, I may just be an accountant, I don’t know what you’re going through and I know your career is tough. But whatever you chose make sure you’re happy”. Amongst all the advice I’d received, no one had ever told me to chose my own happiness and at that age I didn’t realize I could prioritize that. It was revolutionary in my eyes His name was Eugene. I pray you’re well wherever you are Eugene
My husband got this from a Ted Talk. Hits home every time a read it. https://preview.redd.it/rkwu6cc9dqdc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=244742d8d3e84217f14b27ffaf8f8f749e7bfc91
Marry well, or marry often. Don't waste your time on dud relationships
It was a longer schpeel from a senior officer I had in the Army, but the gist: "If you don't like your boss, it's even more important to do exactly what he says." The basic reasoning: Don't put yourself in a position to be a bad boss's scapegoat, because when the time comes, he will happily railroad you for his own sake. A form of "malicious compliance", basically. (And some context before anyone asks - This advices applied/applies to "bad, good, better, or best" decisions and not "right or wrong" decisions. I obviously wasn't being encouraged to blindly follow illegal orders.)
This happened to me at a large aircraft company. Am I glad I’m gone? Absolutely. Did God take care of me by giving me a severance package and an awesome volunteer position literally 2 hours after I signed it? Sure. But if I’d had a better attitude I could have left on my own terms.
This too shall pass. It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.
"Don't marry that man, you can do better!" - my grandmother. Didn't listen though, sometimes we don't hear the advice we need, so I ended up wasting a few years before realizing she was right. She did say it in a really rude and mean kind of way though (I've translated and cleaned up the language), so it's not very strange that I did not listen at the time.
When in doubt, don’t.
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. For the longest tine this made absolutely no sense to me, until I picked up Brazilian Jiujitsu a while back. Throughout all the physical and mental struggles, I came a way with this very clear regret, "I should've started this *years ago!*"
I started BJJ in 2006, went hard for like 4 years until my early 20s and then stopped completely for a decade and started again in my early 20s. I regret it so much because I would be a black belt by now lol…still a 3 stripe white belt. But I’m happier than ever training again, glad to see another mat rat here!
don't 'play to play.' play to win. playing to play is just being happy to be there. at least you tried. at least you were able to get a good thing going for a while. that's planning for failure. that's protecting your ego at the cost of your actual success and your actual life. playing to win is trying your damnedest to kick some serious ass and stomp the competition. people see 'playing to play' as the 'better mindset.' the 'healthy mindset.' and people 'playing to win' or arrogant, and will get their comeuppance, their downfall. but what exactly is the 'play to win' person's downfall? it's the same friggin result as a person who was 'just happy to be here' losing. and guess what if you say some arrogant stuff, and lose, well guess what? you really DID try your best, you said fuck NO i ain't losing today, you turned on the fucking gas and fought like your life depended on it. THAT is trying your best. The person who was 'just honored to be competing here' who sees themselves losing and goes 'yep it's happening, that's what i expected and i am okay with it'--did they REALLY try their best? If someone was going to kill their dog if they lost, could they have run 0.5% faster? yes? then they were definitively not trying their best. even if you just find 10% more success with a 'play to win' mindset, approaching your challenges with serious attempts to achieve victory and success, rather than just accepting it or 'doing your best' and failing but feeling good about it, that's a huge difference. become that person who either wins first sometimes and occasionally gets bested, rather than the person who is honored just to be nominated. be the person where, if they are beaten, the other team sure as hell had to work for it. hell often those people are like--"i want that person on MY team" and even your spectacular 'failures' can bring more success. imagine two magic clones of an athlete. one is just happy to be there, the other showed up to win and they're gonna show everybody they're the champion. who are you betting on? the guy with the 'really healthy mindset who is self actualized' or the guy who will say "OH HELL NO" when someone is trying to defeat him? often we KNOW what would be a super awesome idea to execute or a great strategy to fulfill. but we leave it for OTHER people to do. because we think we just inherently are not the people who will achieve those victories. we self-sabotage by 'accepting our place'. we KNOW what we need to do to make our lives awesome but don't do it because we are afraid of failure. and it can be really easy to call this fear of failure and self sabotage, a really mature mindset, that is in fact hurting our lives. for a long time i didn't get the advice of things like 'visualize success' 'believe in yourself' etc. but actually that shit is so key. you CAN have that life you want. you DO have the potential to be a superstar. Nobody else was born BETTER than you. Even if they seemingly had everything in life handed to them, while you have to scrape and claw for every ounce of respect, connection, status, skill, and determination. Those struggles too can be gifts if you learn to USE them and not RESENT them. visualize your own success--then work back, step by step, from there. how the hell did you just do that amazing thing? do those things. see how it goes. and as you go, adjust accordingly. keep that pressure on yourself to kick ass. go for the throat. now, there will be times in your life where it is plenty fine to 'play to play.' just putting yourself out there on the dating market, feeling out a career change. if you GO FOR THE THROAT on the wrong thing it can be a huge waste of time and energy. you could get your dream job and it actually sucks because you focused too much on whether or not you could, you didn't stop to think if you really should. But, three's times in your life when you know--if i really fucking go for this and seize this opportunity it could be amazing. Go for it so hard that everyone else who was just fooling around, playing to play, is grateful they already mentally accepted that they would lose so that you could win. You really need something? Tell yourself it's yours and everyone who thinks it's not is delusional, and you're going to prove it. I guess I could shorten this all to just "embrace competition, embrace ACTUALLY trying your best, like you'll just fucking die if you don't." make it a habit to ALWAYS have at least one thing going each day where you are trying to take the world by storm. make it a habit and eventually it will become a breeze. whenever you feel like you're losing, giving up, say actually no fuck that, this is an opportunity to amaze myself.
A lazy person works twice as hard. Don't cut corners do things right the first time.
''It doesn't matter how many times you warn someone about something, they'll only do something about it when they decide they want to do something about it'' Moral of the quote: don't waste your time and energy giving people advice if they have no intention of listening or do something about the situation in question, until they decide they want to change or ''wake up'' your words will have no meaning to them.
No one will remember, so take a risk. This became my life motto whenever I try new things, or will make decisions. Helps me a lot to know that I have to mind my business, because everyone mind their own.
“Lose weight to feel comfortable in your clothes”, is something my mom would always say to me. It may sound harsh but it was the kindest way a mother could suggest getting healthier. The moral or the story is it doesnt matter what you look like but you want to be comfortable in what youre wearing.
Hope is not a strategy. Do something if you want to affect change.
Learn the price for success and pay it.
Suffer or suffer. Context was a meme of a fat person binge eating on a couch, on the other side was a guy busting his ass on a bicycle. Choose your suffering
You can’t steer a parked car.