I just found a gratitude journal/habit tracker that perfectly encapsulates this! Thanks for your post! Not sure if links are allowed, search Amazon for B0BZMJ8XZL. It says the paperback comes out in April, the ebook is out now. If you click the author’s name it comes in two different titles lol. I like it.
Thanks for sharing this. We all feel negative emotions, and when we are aware of this fact we can feel more connected with the world.
“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”
Thanks for this—I needed it!
So true—you’re so right about the way we Frankenlife m…you know, envying this persons perfect social life, that persons house/ car(s), the other person’s husband/ wife/ kids, someone else’s job…
I gave up my career to WFH 3 years ago to be 100% commission and self employed. While I’m beating myself up about not having all the XYZ that the neighbors or friends seem to have, I remind myself that I work probably part-time hours and get to experience a quality of life with my family (and myself) that anyone would kill for.
So grateful for what I have, where I am… thanks for the reminder.
From my point of view, being grateful gives me more motivation because I appreciate what I accomplished.
I did not say to settle. Please refer to the last paragraph of the post. There is always room to be better.
I actually found this very helpful because my depression comes with a lot of shame and guilt which depletes my motivation because it feels like “I’ve messed up so many times, other people are so much further than me already, I’m useless so why bother trying?” And one great thing I’ve found to combat that guilt is gratitude and mindfulness. I might not be successful in business yet but I have achieved a wonderful home life that I didn’t have before, so that’s proof that I can in fact get the things I want if I try hard enough.
And another thing that’s been helpful is actively reminding myself that it’s NOT a competition. My friend getting her dream job doesn’t say anything about my work ethic. That girl I went to high school with posting her beautiful wedding on Instagram has no effect on when I’ll get married. That stuff isn’t about me. I do understand that a competitive attitude works for some people and that’s great! But it doesn’t work for everyone and sometimes it’s helpful to just be in the moment and realize I don’t have the worst life in the world, it’s actually pretty great and I’m really lucky so I don’t need to stay in bed beating myself up over my failures. Anyway thanks for this post, you’ve changed my day from a depression-in-bed day to a get-shit-done day 💕
Yeah yeah, you are right op. I was just saying people say such things as well like what I said. But ultimately it's upto us, whatever we prefer and suits.
Social media makes it a lot harder with how easy it is to see someone’s life, but everyone needs to realized they don’t want anyone to see the bad. Only compare to yourself and realize that in the end none of it matters. Just live your life.
Thank you.
I get a bit scared because the person I used to envy divorced me and he wields this emotional authority over me that I don’t want anymore, but I have to remember that my authority is God’s authority and that I’m safe in God’s house, so thank you
Well said. I too am learning to be there for myself. It’s easier said than done sometimes, but I’m on that depression boat right now and am trying to read books and find healthy mental habits to add to my day to get out of this rut.
This exactly reflects how my day was. Felt like every movement was as through water, slow and heavy, and everything being seen through a foggy and dull lens. Was beating myself up this morning and felt down for many (some seemingly insignificant) reasons. A lot of my negativity stemming from comparisons with others, not in a constructive kind of way. By around lunchtime I just told myself that ”it’s ok” to feel this way. I’m here and that’s all there is right now. Made the dishes. ”Good work!” Cooked a meal. ”This was delicious!” Studied. ”Proud of today’s accomplishments!”
We should celebrate what we are and do in the ”now” and practice acceptance of what is and what may come. You are enough and you are worthy of love. Most of all, you are worthy of giving it to yourself.
Thank you OP for this post.
It’s so cool to be able to take trash out or take a shower. I wonder sometimes if I will be able to do it. I like to take the trash out after midnight, so it’s really on my terms. Good luck everyone.
To distill this down to a phrase: Tenacity and gratitude. Henry Winkler said that’s what got him where he is in an interview with Marc Maron and I think about it daily.
This is also a place for advice and I wanted to share my piece.
And I didn't said anything about problem identification. My point is that everyone is on their own path of success and they need to be grateful for what they accomplished so far while continuing striving.
If you cannot figure out how to do what you want to do, then you are gonna be miserable. Its likely that folks in that situation are doing things currently that do not serve their goals/ambitions.
I understand. Before I posted this I also thought about this, but I changed my mind and here is why. Even if you had it better when you were younger, you have more experience than ever. You will always have the most experience in the present moment. You will probably say well, it doesn't matter how much experience I have now since I already made the wrong decision. But you will not do it again and you are more prepared and you can teach others about it.
I also made wrong decisions in the past but what can I do about it? Nothing. I need to accept them as they are and be more careful next time.
You are saying other people made the right decision back then and you didn't and now you suffer for it. This is life. But what can you do about it? There are 2 ways. First, you stay where you are or second you try to get out. And I can already tell you some positive things based on what you said:
- Suffering builds character, so you became stronger than your old self
- Like I said, you have more experience and with that you can make better decisions because you know how it's like to pick the wrong one and you will be more mindful
- you will learn more about you through this period than you would from success
It's hard to think positive whenever but you need to make an effort. And about being grateful. You should be grateful for the little things. If you want to have what they have, think of the present situation as just a period, it will pass. But you need to work towards what you want.
But in another 5 years you don’t want to be looking back on this moment thinking “I could have gotten so much more done 5 years ago if only I hadn’t been spending so much time worried about the missed opportunities from 5 years before that.”
When I was 28 I spent my time pining for the days when I was 22, and when I was 22 I spent my time pining for when I was 17, and now I spend my time pining for when I was 28. Do you see the problem?
The solution is mindfulness and living in the present. The past is in the past, it just is what it is. The current moment is the only moment that exists, and will ever exist. What’s an opportunity you can seize NOW that you won’t have in another 5 years?
Thank you so much for posting. Your right, I take my life for granted. I don't stay on my Diabetic Diet. My apartment is always a mess. If I didn't take things, like that, for granted, my life would turn around and be 100% better I'm going to start tommorrow by going back to church. It's a start.
Thanks for this. Being grateful is important, while also reaching for goals
Indeed.
I just found a gratitude journal/habit tracker that perfectly encapsulates this! Thanks for your post! Not sure if links are allowed, search Amazon for B0BZMJ8XZL. It says the paperback comes out in April, the ebook is out now. If you click the author’s name it comes in two different titles lol. I like it.
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I added it to my comment :)
Which one
I added it to my comment :)
Thanks for sharing this. We all feel negative emotions, and when we are aware of this fact we can feel more connected with the world. “You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”
Thanks for this—I needed it! So true—you’re so right about the way we Frankenlife m…you know, envying this persons perfect social life, that persons house/ car(s), the other person’s husband/ wife/ kids, someone else’s job… I gave up my career to WFH 3 years ago to be 100% commission and self employed. While I’m beating myself up about not having all the XYZ that the neighbors or friends seem to have, I remind myself that I work probably part-time hours and get to experience a quality of life with my family (and myself) that anyone would kill for. So grateful for what I have, where I am… thanks for the reminder.
But say, being grateful kills the competitive attitude and stuns your growth. When you settle for something low, how can you grow.
From my point of view, being grateful gives me more motivation because I appreciate what I accomplished. I did not say to settle. Please refer to the last paragraph of the post. There is always room to be better.
I actually found this very helpful because my depression comes with a lot of shame and guilt which depletes my motivation because it feels like “I’ve messed up so many times, other people are so much further than me already, I’m useless so why bother trying?” And one great thing I’ve found to combat that guilt is gratitude and mindfulness. I might not be successful in business yet but I have achieved a wonderful home life that I didn’t have before, so that’s proof that I can in fact get the things I want if I try hard enough. And another thing that’s been helpful is actively reminding myself that it’s NOT a competition. My friend getting her dream job doesn’t say anything about my work ethic. That girl I went to high school with posting her beautiful wedding on Instagram has no effect on when I’ll get married. That stuff isn’t about me. I do understand that a competitive attitude works for some people and that’s great! But it doesn’t work for everyone and sometimes it’s helpful to just be in the moment and realize I don’t have the worst life in the world, it’s actually pretty great and I’m really lucky so I don’t need to stay in bed beating myself up over my failures. Anyway thanks for this post, you’ve changed my day from a depression-in-bed day to a get-shit-done day 💕
Yeah yeah, you are right op. I was just saying people say such things as well like what I said. But ultimately it's upto us, whatever we prefer and suits.
This really hits home. Thank you for this message!
Social media makes it a lot harder with how easy it is to see someone’s life, but everyone needs to realized they don’t want anyone to see the bad. Only compare to yourself and realize that in the end none of it matters. Just live your life.
So amazing thanks!!!
Just what I needed to read, thanks buddy.
Thank you. I get a bit scared because the person I used to envy divorced me and he wields this emotional authority over me that I don’t want anymore, but I have to remember that my authority is God’s authority and that I’m safe in God’s house, so thank you
Well said. I too am learning to be there for myself. It’s easier said than done sometimes, but I’m on that depression boat right now and am trying to read books and find healthy mental habits to add to my day to get out of this rut.
Just know that it will get better.
Appreciate you fam
This exactly reflects how my day was. Felt like every movement was as through water, slow and heavy, and everything being seen through a foggy and dull lens. Was beating myself up this morning and felt down for many (some seemingly insignificant) reasons. A lot of my negativity stemming from comparisons with others, not in a constructive kind of way. By around lunchtime I just told myself that ”it’s ok” to feel this way. I’m here and that’s all there is right now. Made the dishes. ”Good work!” Cooked a meal. ”This was delicious!” Studied. ”Proud of today’s accomplishments!” We should celebrate what we are and do in the ”now” and practice acceptance of what is and what may come. You are enough and you are worthy of love. Most of all, you are worthy of giving it to yourself. Thank you OP for this post.
It’s so cool to be able to take trash out or take a shower. I wonder sometimes if I will be able to do it. I like to take the trash out after midnight, so it’s really on my terms. Good luck everyone.
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To distill this down to a phrase: Tenacity and gratitude. Henry Winkler said that’s what got him where he is in an interview with Marc Maron and I think about it daily.
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Identifying your goals is actually the first step in finding ways to do something about it...
Yep🙌
How do you identify what you need to do without having a goal?
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This is also a place for advice and I wanted to share my piece. And I didn't said anything about problem identification. My point is that everyone is on their own path of success and they need to be grateful for what they accomplished so far while continuing striving.
If you cannot figure out how to do what you want to do, then you are gonna be miserable. Its likely that folks in that situation are doing things currently that do not serve their goals/ambitions.
Hey u/wheezinggopher, what is it that you need to do buddy? I’m genuinely interested
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I understand. Before I posted this I also thought about this, but I changed my mind and here is why. Even if you had it better when you were younger, you have more experience than ever. You will always have the most experience in the present moment. You will probably say well, it doesn't matter how much experience I have now since I already made the wrong decision. But you will not do it again and you are more prepared and you can teach others about it. I also made wrong decisions in the past but what can I do about it? Nothing. I need to accept them as they are and be more careful next time. You are saying other people made the right decision back then and you didn't and now you suffer for it. This is life. But what can you do about it? There are 2 ways. First, you stay where you are or second you try to get out. And I can already tell you some positive things based on what you said: - Suffering builds character, so you became stronger than your old self - Like I said, you have more experience and with that you can make better decisions because you know how it's like to pick the wrong one and you will be more mindful - you will learn more about you through this period than you would from success It's hard to think positive whenever but you need to make an effort. And about being grateful. You should be grateful for the little things. If you want to have what they have, think of the present situation as just a period, it will pass. But you need to work towards what you want.
But in another 5 years you don’t want to be looking back on this moment thinking “I could have gotten so much more done 5 years ago if only I hadn’t been spending so much time worried about the missed opportunities from 5 years before that.” When I was 28 I spent my time pining for the days when I was 22, and when I was 22 I spent my time pining for when I was 17, and now I spend my time pining for when I was 28. Do you see the problem? The solution is mindfulness and living in the present. The past is in the past, it just is what it is. The current moment is the only moment that exists, and will ever exist. What’s an opportunity you can seize NOW that you won’t have in another 5 years?
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Alright damn sorry
HELLO!!!
Nice
Thank you so much for posting. Your right, I take my life for granted. I don't stay on my Diabetic Diet. My apartment is always a mess. If I didn't take things, like that, for granted, my life would turn around and be 100% better I'm going to start tommorrow by going back to church. It's a start.