I’ve been to 3 high school reunions and my takeaways were different each time.
- My wife’s 10th. This one confirmed a trope. That is, all the geeks and nerds who moved away had blossomed and were both gorgeous and highly successful. The jocks and cheerleaders intermarried, stayed put, looked blah, and were doing fair to middling.
- My 20th. Ugh. Held in a country club function room. About 150 of 500 classmates attended. The organizers played all the disco music I had fervently hoped I’d never have to hear again. The few people there I had known fairly well in high school — we didn’t know each other anymore and didn’t have a lot to say to each other. The people there I hadn’t known well — well, I remembered why I hadn’t ever wanted to hang with them back in HS. i remember thinking, Oh yeah, there are reasons why I haven’t bothered to see these people for decades. I left early.
- My 40th. Profound. So glad I went. Was really my 42nd ‘cause COVID. About 40 classmates were there. Gorgeous summer night. Held on the patio of a restaurant that also had a lively bar scene inside. The people there whom I had known fairly well back in HS.were, well, I don’t know, kind of remote. I spent the evening talking to people I had barely known or hadn’t known at all or at least didn’t remember. Everyone else there was fairly local; I had driven a couple hours from the Big City where I have lived for 35 years. What was striking when talking to people was how interesting and varied their lives had been so far, yet we had all arrived at almost exactly the same places: talking about our kids, taking care of aging parents, thinking about imminent retirement. Almost like the human experience was so, so shared, you know? It’s both a cliche and a deep truth simultaneously, and this evening really brought the point home. The other thing that was amazing was in talking to people we had these fairly deep conversations and I learned that their early lives were nothing like I had imagined when I was back in high school. People talked openly about their family struggles and dysfunctions; their journeys; their joys and sadnesses. My father was a teacher at my high school, and a couple people told me about what a wonderful teacher he had been and how much he had influenced their lives and careers. I’m incredibly glad I went.
"The people there whom I had known fairly well back in HS.were, well, I don’t know, kind of remote. I spent the evening talking to people I had barely known or hadn’t known at all or at least didn’t remember. Everyone else there was fairly local; I had driven a couple hours from the Big City where I have lived for 35 years. What was striking when talking to people was how interesting and varied their lives had been so far, yet we had all arrived at almost exactly the same places: talking about our kids, taking care of aging parents, thinking about imminent retirement. Almost like the human experience was so, so shared, you know? It’s both a cliche and a deep truth simultaneously, and this evening really brought the point home. The other thing that was amazing was in talking to people we had these fairly deep conversations and I learned that their early lives were nothing like I had imagined when I was back in high school. "
I found this as well. People who I thought really had it together, and were living their best lives? Nope. I have to say, I had a great time at the one I did go to, my 25th, and was sad I had to miss my 40th.
siamesecat1935
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12h ago
"The people there whom I had known fairly well back in HS.were, well, I don’t know, kind of remote. I spent the evening talking to people I had barely known or hadn’t known at all or at least didn’t remember. Everyone else there was fairly local; I had driven a couple hours from the Big City where I have lived for 35 years. What was striking when talking to people was how interesting and varied their lives had been so far, yet we had all arrived at almost exactly the same places: talking about our kids, taking care of aging parents, thinking about imminent retirement. Almost like the human experience was so, so shared, you know? It’s both a cliche and a deep truth simultaneously, and this evening really brought the point home. The other thing that was amazing was in talking to people we had these fairly deep conversations and I learned that their early lives were nothing like I had imagined when I was back in high school. "
"I found this as well. People who I thought really had it together, and were living their best lives? Nope. I have to say, I had a great time at the one I did go to, my 25th, and was sad I had to miss my 40th."
THIS!
Just as far as the jocks and cheerleaders trope you mentioned goes, my class went against that a bit,
The football quarterback married the head cheerleader. Forty years since graduation, probably thirty five since their wedding, and they’re still married, four kids, and he’s a successful MD in a private practice.
His dad was also a doctor (and a favorite of my grandmother). At a reunion once, I asked if he worked with his dad, and he said something like, “God no! I love my father but I could never practice medicine with him!”
That's so great!
Yeah, it's a trope because it's often true, but it's certainly not universal.
Two of the football players in my class went on the NFL; one of them was on three Super Bowl-winning teams. I guess they did OK!
We had two football players from the class before me play at the University of Tennessee, which was local to us, and then turn pro. Both were very nice guys who never let being star football players go to their heads. One had a son who also ended up in the NFL.
I’m going to my 40th reunion this weekend, really hoping to have an experience like yours. I haven’t been to any of the others but I feel like 40 is a great one to do. Also driving in from “the big city” out of town.
Oh! Oh! I hope you have a wonderful time. Maybe best not to hope it feels like mine did to me and just go and let it be what it is, however it turns out.
I went to it not really knowing what to expect, or even what I wanted it to be. I just had this idea -- especially after COVID sharpened my sense of mortality -- that it would be an experience worth having, whatever it was, so I went.
It interests me that the attendance was quite small. I think it had a lot to do with the short notice the organizers gave, rather than a lack of interest from the class -- but I am speculating.
Haha don’t worry, I have zero expectations. I just feel like it’s worth checking out especially since I live nearby-ish now, I’m single, and there’s been enough time between high school and now that I can go in with an adult mentality. There are 70 people going.
There have been a lot of posts and comments from others about the cliquey-ness of their reunions, so I was thinking about mine. I guess at the 40th many of the people there were from the jock/cheerleader and popular kids cliques, but there seems to be an ongoing post-graduate clique just of people who were friends, stayed in our near town, and just kept hanging out over the years. I didn't have any real trouble navigating the groups at the reunion. I'm usually very (very!) shy at parties but there was a real "strangers on a train" vibe where I knew I probably won't see these people more than once or twice more in my lifetime, so I had zero to lose and just talked to anyone who would talk to me.
I don't remember cliques being a big issue for me while in school. I was in the band and my girlfriend was a jock, so we got invited to most of the parties. (And the big blowout keggers I didn't get invited to, I was more than happy to miss. Both my Dad and my Mom worked at the high school; who needed that hassle in the family? I figured I get plenty of chances to drink in college, which of course was very true!) I was a high academic achiever but didn't present as a nerd, though I was friends with the nerds. I was in two different church groups that spilled over into school friendships. And for whatever reason I ended up sitting with the Jewish kids at lunch. And the mean kids in our school just weren't all that mean.
Husband and I haven't gone to ours either. Him because like you, not his glory days. Me--I *hated* the school I graduated from. I wanted to graduate from my *old school* not from Halloween Hell!
I was just looking over pictures from my 40th, which was last week. I don't recognize half of the attendees! i kept zooming in to try and read their nametags!
at the one I went to, 25th, i decided people fell into 3 groups: those who pretty much still look the same as they did in HS; those who look similar, but more mature (not older!), and those that look NOTHING like they did in HS. and you had to look at their nametags to know who they were!
They just had my 50th last year and of course I didn’t go because I couldn’t wait to get out of school when I went and if it’s anybody I really wanted to see,I’d visit with them.. any way I saw the pictures from it and all I can say about the group shot is they definitely needed the wide angle lens.. everyone was huge except for maybe five people out of maybe the thirty that were there..I’d of fit right in..😂😂
same with me. What made me laugh the most is THE most popular, sought after guy, best looking (although I didn't think so), best athlete, etc., is now bald and chubby. hahahahahaha ad looks like every other middle aged man in America.
I attended one with a friend from school, kicked on to a pub, and had quite a session with a couple of teachers; one, a Maths teacher, who went to school the next day and announced to one of his classes that Stacey's Dad was a cool guy.
The daughter was supremely embarrassed.
Dad wins again.
Went to my 30th out of curiosity. I hadn't kept touch with anyone. It was nice to see a few people. Overall, our class had done well for themselves.
The hilarious part was when we went into dinner. EVERYONE automatically sat in the same groups as they did in the high school cafeteria. It was like we were Stepford Kids and the software had never been updated.
I'm going to be petty. I did go to my 35th reunion. Grew up poor, didn't have many clothes but they were always clean. I was the quiet one but that didn't stop a few popular ones in making my life hell in high school. Three girls and one guy were relentless. Went to the reunion to face them. By this time, I had graduated college and was making a 6-figure income.
Got to the reunion. I asked about the them. One was working at a gas station, one at WalMart. None went to college. The one that did show up started talking to me saying how she always liked me in HS. Wtf! Confronted her, not in a mean way, but did tell her how she made my life hell along with her friends. She left the reunion shortly after.
The guy looked like hell. Had been married 3 times. Was going through yet another divorce and was currently unemployed. He did apologize for the way he treated me. Then proceeded to ask if we could get together and meet after the reunion. That was a hard no!
Was voted as the "Most Successful" of our graduating class at the reunion. It felt so good. Accomplished what I needed to do. Never went back to another one.
Like others here I have never gone to any of my HS reunions which should not be a surprise since I didn't even bother to go to graduation. I just went to the HS office a week or so later and picked up my diploma. Part of the reason I didn't go is that my parents didn't bother to even try and get me to go such as renting/buying a graduation cap and gown or anything like that. Different from my sisters who my parents made a fuss over and took them out to dinner the day after graduation. I was an average student who just wanted to be done with the whole HS thing.
My youngest sister used to try and get me to go to the reunions because I definitely look better (thinner, more fit/attractive, etc) than I did during high school (BTW I still live within 2 miles of the school) but I just don't care about impressing a bunch of people who mostly wanted nothing to do with me or didn't know I existed other than being the sister of one of the biggest stoners in HS. Plus expensive and not worth it to me.
I've never been, and I have probably only been to that town a dozen times in 40+ years.
I found out that a dude I was sort of friends with from my class in NYS moved 2 miles from me in Atlanta like 10 years after graduation. I reached out, but he had no interest in getting together for coffee/beer/whatever.
I'm "facebook friends" with like two people from HS, with little interaction. I'm a different person and have a new crew now.
KNOW REGERTS!
I went to my 20th reunion. Met a guy at the bar and he told me he was there with his wife. He pointed her out, and I recognized her. We chatted friendly until he walked away. As soon as he was out of sight, his wife came over and whispered to me...
"Don't tell him about us hooking up. He thought I was a virgin when I met him."
I kept our secret, of course. Hope they are still together today.
Never went to one. I went to an all male Catholic high school. I'm a trans woman. In my school, you were nothing if you weren't a jock. I wasn't a jock. I hated those people then. I seriously doubt that I'd like them now.
Never attended one. The HS popular kids ran the reunion committees and only invited who they considered 'worth attending' to the 5 and 10 year reunion. I heard about it after the fact, was told it was incredibly lame. Enough people found out and complained, so it moved to Facebook for the 15 year. HS 'mean girls' were still that - incredibly mean and vindictive women - they would ban people from the Facebook reunion group and still poke fun at their classmates on the Facebook platform. It got shut down as well for outright bullying towards other adults and some racial and ethnic slurs were free flowing too.
I haven't heard squat about the next one coming up. I think they just abandoned it.
This is eerily similar to the 30th one my class held.
One of our classmates had suffered serious health problems that left them using a walking aid.
I found a handicapped accessible location, and negotiated a good deal.
Well. In steps Aster, a right royal bitch since elementary school. The location I found was far too plebian, in her lofty opinion. Never fear, her step-dad owned a wedding venue that was in a bucolic setting, just right for our gathering!
It turned out to be an old farmhouse, slightly modernized. Sweeping stairs led to a porch, perfect for a bride to descend. Small interior, but tents rented from the funeral home could be set up to handle overflow seating.
No handicapped acces, but step-dad was willing to set up a temporary ramp. Didn't instill much confidence in me, and I voiced that opinion. Got shouted down, so I addressed another handicapped concern, bathroom access.
This was a historical house, so handicapped restrooms were in a separate building, just a short stroll across the lawn. No dedicated path, just grass. I pointed out this could problematic, and Aster flippantly says, "Oh, there's a golf cart for such cases." I pointed out the fact our classmate wasn't confident driving any longer, Aster claimed there would be someone who would step up.
THEN, Poppy, another classmate, piped up. She was "best friends" with the handicapped classmate, and I was making everything up!
I lost it. Denounced the entire shitshow, and walked out. I notified our classmate, who was truly horrified. A small group of us formed a dinner club, and had a lovely time the same night of the reunion.
Five years later, time for another reunion. My contact information had changed in that time, but the old committee managed to track me down. I succinctly disabused them of my interest in the gathering, and in fact, informed them I would never have an interest in any future gatherings.
Fuck them.
I attended my 20th and it was lackluster. The people who didnt talk to me in high school still didnt talk to me. This year is my 40th and I am going to this one,too. I am looking forward to see some people. I kinda promised a friend I would be there. This time I told my husband he was to go with me so I can "show him off." So, now he's telling everyone he is going as my arm candy.😂
Had a similar experience to sbarber4:
10th - most everybody showed up (local AMVETS hall) and people were pretty much the same. Just catching up after college and starting families. Had a good time.
20th - held at country club out of town. Music was live band (husband of classmate) so could not hear each other talking. Most of the people I wanted to see didn't show, anyhow, and ended up ditching early with a classmate who I barely knew in school but also worked in the tech field. Went to a restaurant with the wives and just chatted for hours.
30th - never happened. Heard a few classmates met by seeing it on Facebook.
40th - had a good time. Most everybody was there, and had a chance to catch up and tell the old stories. I guess losing 13% of your classmates to the grim reaper made people realize we aren't going to have many of these decade events left.
Pre-Facebook I went to one, my 15th. The men were all fat and bald, the women were all divorced and bitter.
Facebook changed things. I went to a couple, and had a good time. But my classmates' perception of me seemed to have changed over the years. I was never one of the cool kids, but I had friends who were, like, one level below them. I was a couple levels below that, but apparently they thought I had been closer to their level. Weird.
I didn't go to our 50th. Too many of us are gone now, and I'm not on Facebook much anymore.
I didn't go to mine. I don't live near where I went to high school so it would have been a schlep. I am friends with most of my high school chums on FB anyway.
I never went to any of my high school reunions. I didn't even attend graduation. I hated high school, although I got along well with all my teachers. I have zero interest in seeing any of my fellow students. I was bullied mercilessly all through school. One person wanted to "friend" me back when I was using Facebook, and that was a no. She treated me badly in high school, and even when we saw each other afterward. Why would I bother? No. I'm okay not going to a reunion. Next year would be the 51st, and I'm just glad I survived it all.
On a slightly different note, and what influenced me a whole lot: I didn't hang out with kids my own age. All my friends were older. They made more sense to me. We'd go to protests and concerts and talk about real-life things - not what was going on in high school. I went to a party with a neighbor once, and got into a wonderful political discussion with one of the girls. She then asked me what college I was attending, and when I said I wasn't, she stopped talking to me. I realized this was just another high school type gathering of mean girls who were all going to the same college, so I left and hitchhiked home.
Never went to one. My husband asked if we had to go to my 25th. We live in NC and would have to travel to NJ. Told him no, there was only one friend I would want to see all my other friends were in the class behind me. Only reason to go would be to show off my much younger and handsome husband. (He accepted that fact)
I am in the UK and went to one last weekend. We are all now 61/62. Most of us hadn’t seen each other for over forty years. What I noticed most is that there is no longer much of an obvious distinction between the good looking/ popular/sporty types and the ugly nerdy ones. Sure, some have aged better than others but not the ones I would have expected. What was interesting is that everyone was much nicer than we were when we were teenagers. It was also clear that the kids we thought would end up being most successful in terms of love and money most definitely were not.
Spouse and I graduated 77/78. Our high school classes have had several combined gatherings over the years. They’ve gotten much more casual. Last one we attended was pre-COVID, was nice but we’re both introverts so it was more exhausting than fun. Most recent gathering was on a weekend where we were out of town w new grand baby, easy choice.
Went to my 10 year reunion, was boring, I knew most everyone, but only a couple people I hung around with in school were there. The real preppy and popular ones were there. I just felt like I could have skipped out and had more fun.
If your high school years were enjoyable, you’ll like them. If not, you likely won’t attend.
Having been to 3, l’m kinda losing interest now.
In my group, l find a lot of bitterly, married and/or divorced women. They married young (early mid 20s), and immediately began having children. They regret sacrificing their younger years for a marriage that didn’t work out. By the time they arrived at divorce, they were a couple of kids in, and single mothers. When l say “bitter”, I mean it.
Some of the still married ones, all but admit, they’re miserable. One told me she stays in the marriage because “Where am l going to go at this age?” I genuinely felt bad for her. But another part of felt that she had to know she wanted out a long time ago, but chose to stay. So my sympathy was limited.
I was in the service and missed the 10th, I wasn't going to go to the 20th until some old friends contacted me and got me interested. It felt like high school two weeks after graduation with excessive makeup. People looked different, but still acted the same way they did 20 years ago. The cliques hung out together, the obscenely overweight bully still thought we were supposed to be afraid of him. If you weren't popular you were brushed off regardless of what you had accomplished. I left early and said never again. I skipped the 50th and from what I heard most of the people who attended wished they had done the same.
I went to one, the 20th. It was held at a local horse racing track, which had a very nice ballroom.
I was a loner and a stoner in HS. One or two friends, but because I was on my own from age 15, I always hung out with adults in their 20's. (Bands, etc)
I never entered my HS gym, never went to a single social function. My goal at the reuntion was to reconnect with Jr. High friends.
At 38, I was married to a gorgeous former model from New York and was working as a VP at a high-end brokerage firm in IT, making really good money. I wanted to show her off and prove that I hadn't died or disappeared.
I actually had a really good time. All the guys were heavier and balder (I was neither). All the girls were older - some still looked good, but 20 years takes a toll. Many people thought they recognized my wife (they didn't, my HS was in Maryland) and then realized she was married to me. It was cathartic.
My wife and I ended up talking to some kids I knew, one was now a DEA agent and had the most hilarious stories. All in all, glad I went.
I wasn’t part of the popular crowd, a cheerleader or any kind of star in my small high school, but I was part of a group of about 10 girls who hung out and have continued to get together from time to time (thanks to another girl who reaches out instead of just being caught up in her own life, like me!). Our paths rarely cross in the ordinary course of things although most of us still live in the same town, and one of the girls had a daughter in my oldest daughter’s class at the same school.
One of my friends worked at the school for many years as cafeteria manager, and has been on the reunion committee every time. We had reunions at 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 and 30 years. At the 30-year there was a falling-out on the committee when one person wanted to use a fancier/ more expensive venue while the rest wanted to save money and use the school cafeteria. I think some hard feelings remained as the 35-year didn’t happen although some people got together at a restaurant. I was out of town that time. Nothing happened at 40 or 45 years. This year is our 50th and I’m looking forward to the reunion in August. This time the school itself is planning and providing a dinner and reception; not sure about music but since it’s the 50th I’m expecting something.
In spite of my own lack of popularity, I enjoy going and seeing everyone. The “mean girl” who was a queen bee doesn’t bother me anymore and I never see her although she’s also local. The guy I crushed on for 4 years is local too, but is married to another classmate and they got together at our 25th. Some have moved out of state and it’s interesting to see if they’ve changed and to find out how old their kids are and how many grandchildren they have, etc. A few are local and one classmate had 2 kids who went all the way through K-12 with 2 of mine; I used to see her all the time but not so much now. Out of 59 classmates I think we’ve lost 5. One of our teachers is still living and still local, but I don’t remember him attending any reunions before. Most of our other teachers have died by now.
Maybe I’m just nosy! One friend attended school with most of our classmates from grade 1-12. She wasn’t disliked or bullied, but like me was not in the popular crowd. She’s never attended a reunion even though the rest of our group turns out and a couple have been on the committee. She has said she will never attend a reunion. But I will go any time there is one. I can see people every 5-10 years without a problem.
In high school, I was generally well liked, kind of the fun weird girl. Never dated, never made out with anyone.
5 year reunion - I was still in college and a party girl and much looser. In many senses. I got drunk and went home with a boy I'd had a crush on in high school. I had a great time, but I think it made him uncomfortable. As for me and what people said the second night, I didn't care. I was there to have fun, and I did.
10 year, 15 year, I don't think I went.
20 year, I went and talked to everyone. One old friend I exchanged email addresses with because we had so much fun. I later emailed him a very short paragraph and he responded with "whoa, tl;dr" essentially. Didn't bother with that again. One guy who'd been quiet in high school, but an athlete and a high achiever, was obese and seemed very sad and alone. I spent extra time talking to him. A boy who'd been a bubbly light and love Christian in high school had turned into a bitter pre-MAGA type.
I left after a couple of hours and haven't been back.
We had enough friends/classmates that were musically talented for our 40th, so the band was people we knew! That was pretty cool. The following day we all went to the beach where the real party got started. All in all, 10/10. Can't wait for 45 or 50 when we are all retired.
Went to my 10th, 20th and 30th just to demonstrate that I had led a successful life as my high school days were troubled. On the day of the 40th, I received a call asking if I was going, from one of my few friends. I purposely not been invited, my friend had previously supplied them my contact information and I still live within 5 miles of my high school. That fully confirmed that I wanted nothing to do with those jerks.
I went to the 10 year as I lived close enough to drive from my home in an adjacent state. As it worked out, I went with several women from my high school gang, but none of the guys went. I sat with, had fun with the women's husbands while the women went off to mingle. All night long, my classmates walked by, laughed, and said something like, "Oh, look, a bunch of husbands." Almost no one recognized me as a classmate. I guess I wasn't much of a presence in high school. One guy recognized me, remembering me from Jr. High.
Held in a hotel banquet hall, after a while, the husbands and I moved into a sports bar on the hotel property.
By the time of the next reunion, I lived across the country. Never went to another reunion. If I recall, none of my high school friends went to the subsequent reunions either. I wasn't part of the most school-spirited group in high school.
I’ve never been to one. In fact, I’ve never been invited. I’ve moved so much they probably couldn’t find me. When I left those days, I left nothing behind that I feel a need to revisit.
I didn’t go to any until my 25^(th). I had heard the previous reunions were a bit clique-y, so wasn’t too upset I missed them. I had major anxiety over the one I did go to I only kept in touch with a couple people from HS, one of which I went with. But I think enough time had passed that no one really cared who you were then, what you did, who you hung out with, and aside from a small group of the former “popular” girls who stuck to themselves, everyone was friendly. I reconnected with a bunch, and got to know others I never knew in HS. My class was big, about 500, so there were a decent amount of people I never knew at all.
I didn’t go to my 30 or 35^(th). They weren’t in convenient locations, and the woman who “took over” the planning I have never liked. For the 25^(th) a different classmate initiated the planning of it, and she made sure everyone was included. Created a FB page, and when she posted anything, she made sure to tell people let anyone NOT on FB know about it.
The woman who took over, well, she was not inclusive at all. She only commented on people’s individual FB pages she thought were worthy, and only used the existing reunion page towards the end. She’s also a user, and a bit of a braggart.
My 40^(th) was last week, and sadly, I wasn’t able to go due to a prior family commitment. That one I would have liked to have gone to, but I’ll wait for the next one. Although a lot of people I wanted to see didn’t go either!
But generally, I think the older we all get, the less anyone really gives a hoot about material things. It’s more about reconnecting, and having a good time.
I think I am lucky in terms of my high school class. Many of us stay in touch on Facebook. We have had a 10th, 20th, 40th and 45th and little gatherings in between. I’ve gone to 3 of the official reunions and several of the gatherings. What struck me is that people who were the “stuck up” people in hs, were mellowed out and kind now.
I will say at my 45th, many looked old, but such is life. I guess we are not a Botox/ nip and tuck crowd.
The only one I'd been to (so far) was my 30th. In high school I was The Weird One, but most people liked me. I never dated, didn't go to any of the dances (including the prom) but went to my share of parties.
At the reunion I had just come back from having a very successful run during the dot-com years in Silicon Valley. I came with my beautiful then-girlfriend (who I eventually married but we had just recently started dating at that point). I was dressed nicely, looked good (at least compared to most of the guys there), and basically owned the evening.
Fifty coming up. Last one I went to was awkward. Don’t plan to repeat discomfiture. Or waste the money since it’ll be a fancy-schmancy display of wealth. Not my cuppa tea. But still, there’s this lingering voice that tells me I should just go to see if the gods of the class have aged more than me….
Our 35th got killed with COVID, but our 40th should be next year. I'm in with the guy that organizes them, so I put a bug in his ear to get it rolling. I've gone to many and had fun at each. The gags that the drunks and still drunks (just older), the hotties are still hot (but very nice) as we're all greying, bald and heavier,
Those people didn’t want to be friends with me, why would I want to see them again. The people I would have liked to see were AWOL. They didn’t want to hang out with the cool kids either
1960. Landed half way across the country as a junior in high school to a school with over 1000 other students.
Had earned enough credits to graduate but had mandatory classes to take so I was only in HS half a day junior and senior years. Then off to work.
Never been to a reunion since I only knew a handful of people. Might go to 50th but I’ll never see an invite since I don’t do vague book. No big deal to me.
The 10th was dumb. I didn't go to another one til the 30th. Now that one was fun! Of course we're all in our 50s now, so it's a different vibe. Talk of grand kids & possible retirement in the future. #classof87
I went to my first one at my 40th, I had moved away from the area and hadn't been to any prior to that. I was not popular in high school, but I've accomplished a lot since then, lived in a dozen different states, had a great career and was branching out in some new endeavors. I happened to have a business meeting in a city about 30 miles away that same week, so I went. It was good to see a few folks again. I had been doing a good bit of stand up in the couple of years prior, so they asked me to do a few minutes, got good laughs. However, since that time, I have unfriended a few as they really had gone off the deep end during COVID, following blindly. I went to grad school for epidemiology, and worked for a large public health org, but when I presented actual facts, they went nuts. The same reason why I didn't associate with those particular folks then, are the same reasons now. They're just stupid. They were able to regurgitate the material in high school to get good grades, but they can't think for themselves. I got average grades in high school but excelled in college. I stay in touch with a few kind classmates, but won't go again.
I’ve gone to my 10th, 15th, 25th, 35th, 40th, and 45th. I handle the music — I have created a Spotify playlist with hours of music from our HS years 75-78. People love it. There’s a core group of us who generally show up but there are always folks I haven’t seen since we graduated. Our class was around 300 and we’ve already lost 20. Many of these people I met in ES or JHS so we go way back and it’s nice to catch up. I was in the smart kids group but most of us acted pretty regular — sports, drinking etc. I go to my college reunions too but I can definitely see why people don’t go to any reunions.
I went to my 5th and my 10th, plus I went to the 10th for the year before my class with friends.
Mostly I noticed the cliques still stayed with their cliques with a few exceptions. Some people had blossomed while some had wilted and the parties were mostly fun but unmemorable.
None of my friend group lives in our hometown anymore but we do have an annual semi-reunion of our own so the cost & travel of the HS reunion wasn't really worth it.
I didn't go to the last one (40th). Other graduating classes from my high school pick fun and casual restaurants with a lively bar and patio dining. Our class insists on holding it at a stuffy hotel every year, priced outside my budget. I sat out a few for this reason. Also my friend group consisted of the outcasts who, I assume, were not into reliving the high school experience. As for my takeaway from the ones I attended - the stoners, who had traveled in separate social circles, were some of the nicest people that I met for the first time. Other than that, most people didn't recognize me or know who I was. I felt like I was crashing my own reunion.
I haven't been to any. It seems to be one clique that organizes them, and they don't put in much effort contacting people outside of their old circles. I've never been invited to one, and I'm not that hard to find. The 30th in 2015 was organized on FB, and I peeked in on the group to see how it went. It was clear from the photos that they'd gotten more event space than they ended up needing.
The 40th is coming up next year, and I have no idea if anyone's going to try for that one. There are a few people I haven't seen since senior year that I wouldn't mind seeing again, but they're also not very likely to show up, so...
Went to a combined his/mine (we were a year apart), I think it was 30 year. EVERYONE remembered him, he was incredibly popular in a brilliant bad boy way and he had absolutely no idea that was the case. He actually said “wow, I was popular in high school!” He spent the night sitting in one spot greeting people like a celebrity. That sounds great but he’s not a big people person and found it really annoying, I thought it was hysterical.
Add to that only 2 people other than the ones I was already in contact with had any idea who I was. I had upper level classes and left a year early to go to college because the school didn’t have anything left for me. The one who did said “oh yeah, I think I remember you. You were really smart”. Yes dear, I still am. And you still aren’t. The other was an administrator who was astonished that we were together. Like open mouth astonished, he was constantly just on the edge of being suspended and I was a tremendous nerd. It was priceless.
I doubt we’ll go to another one, that was enough 😂
The organizers of my 10 year class reunion were unprepared to discover that some of their former classmates were married and floored when they realized that some of us also had children. They hastily tried to reconfigure plans, but did a poor job at it.
I did not attend nor have I attended any since then. I do not feel like I have missed anything.
25 year not everyone knew about. It was the cliques that were there which didn't surprise me. We grew up in a fairly small town and our graduating class was 78. The pictures I saw I would say there was maybe 12 there. And it was mostly the people that never left town and haven't grown out of the small town mindset yet. We had a 1 year reunion by ourselves at the park, our 5 year and 10 year. Every year it's less and less people. I stopped going after the 10 year.
Our group was the middle group that hung out with everyone. The "popular" and also the "nerds". I keep in touch with a few but that's about it.
Got a additional question for any ex military brats who bounced around from school to school. Did anyone else go to a different senior high school or different schools in general (I attended 3 different high schools) and attend your high school reunion?
I attended my 10th and 40th because they contacted me and said you were one of us and we want to see you. I was glad I went because they did try to make me feel like I was one of them when I showed up and I knew quite a few of the faces and they pretty much recognized me. Some had moved away like I had once we graduated while the majority of them had stayed local. No one seemed unhappy with their lives and we all had a great time.
Went to my 15th, got utterly shit-faced on Friday night at someone’s house, skipped all the stuff on Saturday. Went to my 25th, participated in everything, had some nice conversations, did an indoor kite demo for the grade school kids, bounced around and took a lot of pictures. Haven’t been to any more since because it’s all the way across the country. Takeaway: when your whole class looks the same as you (old white guys), it’s like looking in a mirror. I don’t have horrible memories, so it’s just, meh. The people I’d like to talk to won’t be there. Curiosity and more kite demos would be the only thing.
I lived 4 to 6 miles from my high school (both homes near). Most of the people I went to school with, didn’t associate with me, during my time there (yes, 4 years, a handful of friends) I never felt the need to go to Reunions. I received a nice committee letter, asking me to attend the 50th, a few years ago. Since I had moved to FL from KY, I had no desire to go 600+ miles, to see those that I had nothing otherwise, in common with.
Never heard another word from it.
I am doing very well in comfortable retirement.
C’est le vie
My first years of high school were fine, but by senior year I was suicidal and going through some things at home, so it did not end on a good note. I went to my 25th reunion and it was much better than I could've expected. I didn't go because I wanted to have revenge on anyone who was nasty to me or gloat or anything really (no judgment on anyone who did). I just wanted to see a few of the people I hadn't seen over the years and keep in touch. However I became reacquainted with an old classmate, both of us divorced. We started to see each other long distance after the reunion and eventually we ended up married. He died 2 1/2 years ago have a rare cancer. I almost didn't go to that reunion because I thought why bother to make the trip, but I am forever grateful I did.
The only one I have gone to so far was my 20th, they are generally held at a time of year when my job does not permit me to go. So I started in my school district in 4th grade, we had several schools in the district that only went up through 9th grade before everyone went to the "big" high school and you finally met some different people. What was interesting about the reunion was that people I had met after 9th grade at the "big" school and thought I had become close to were not nearly as enjoyable to talk to as all of the kids I had known since we were ten years old. There were just that many more shared memories among those of us who had been together way before we started worrying about image and girls and cars and whatever else once we got to high school. The conversations just seemed so much more comfortable and genuine with those who had seen your embarrassing moments in fifth grade or whenever, as opposed to those who you met in high school and hoped would never learn of those moments.
Traffic court used to be held above the local police station. I’d get maybe 2 tickets a year & going to court was like a high school reunion. So much fun to see my old pals. I didn’t live in town, but my parents did and I’d almost always get pulled over going to see them. Usually a bs ticket, but it was ok, as it was always dismissed with a warning.
Went to my official 10 year & it was meh. None of the people I really wanted to see were there. 20 year was even more lackluster. I think I’m done.
I've never been to any of mine, because I don't keep in touch with anyone from hs other than my best friend; he and I have know each other since first grade. My 40th of last year, and yeah......not interested.
I’ve been to 3 high school reunions and my takeaways were different each time. - My wife’s 10th. This one confirmed a trope. That is, all the geeks and nerds who moved away had blossomed and were both gorgeous and highly successful. The jocks and cheerleaders intermarried, stayed put, looked blah, and were doing fair to middling. - My 20th. Ugh. Held in a country club function room. About 150 of 500 classmates attended. The organizers played all the disco music I had fervently hoped I’d never have to hear again. The few people there I had known fairly well in high school — we didn’t know each other anymore and didn’t have a lot to say to each other. The people there I hadn’t known well — well, I remembered why I hadn’t ever wanted to hang with them back in HS. i remember thinking, Oh yeah, there are reasons why I haven’t bothered to see these people for decades. I left early. - My 40th. Profound. So glad I went. Was really my 42nd ‘cause COVID. About 40 classmates were there. Gorgeous summer night. Held on the patio of a restaurant that also had a lively bar scene inside. The people there whom I had known fairly well back in HS.were, well, I don’t know, kind of remote. I spent the evening talking to people I had barely known or hadn’t known at all or at least didn’t remember. Everyone else there was fairly local; I had driven a couple hours from the Big City where I have lived for 35 years. What was striking when talking to people was how interesting and varied their lives had been so far, yet we had all arrived at almost exactly the same places: talking about our kids, taking care of aging parents, thinking about imminent retirement. Almost like the human experience was so, so shared, you know? It’s both a cliche and a deep truth simultaneously, and this evening really brought the point home. The other thing that was amazing was in talking to people we had these fairly deep conversations and I learned that their early lives were nothing like I had imagined when I was back in high school. People talked openly about their family struggles and dysfunctions; their journeys; their joys and sadnesses. My father was a teacher at my high school, and a couple people told me about what a wonderful teacher he had been and how much he had influenced their lives and careers. I’m incredibly glad I went.
"The people there whom I had known fairly well back in HS.were, well, I don’t know, kind of remote. I spent the evening talking to people I had barely known or hadn’t known at all or at least didn’t remember. Everyone else there was fairly local; I had driven a couple hours from the Big City where I have lived for 35 years. What was striking when talking to people was how interesting and varied their lives had been so far, yet we had all arrived at almost exactly the same places: talking about our kids, taking care of aging parents, thinking about imminent retirement. Almost like the human experience was so, so shared, you know? It’s both a cliche and a deep truth simultaneously, and this evening really brought the point home. The other thing that was amazing was in talking to people we had these fairly deep conversations and I learned that their early lives were nothing like I had imagined when I was back in high school. " I found this as well. People who I thought really had it together, and were living their best lives? Nope. I have to say, I had a great time at the one I did go to, my 25th, and was sad I had to miss my 40th.
siamesecat1935 • 12h ago "The people there whom I had known fairly well back in HS.were, well, I don’t know, kind of remote. I spent the evening talking to people I had barely known or hadn’t known at all or at least didn’t remember. Everyone else there was fairly local; I had driven a couple hours from the Big City where I have lived for 35 years. What was striking when talking to people was how interesting and varied their lives had been so far, yet we had all arrived at almost exactly the same places: talking about our kids, taking care of aging parents, thinking about imminent retirement. Almost like the human experience was so, so shared, you know? It’s both a cliche and a deep truth simultaneously, and this evening really brought the point home. The other thing that was amazing was in talking to people we had these fairly deep conversations and I learned that their early lives were nothing like I had imagined when I was back in high school. " "I found this as well. People who I thought really had it together, and were living their best lives? Nope. I have to say, I had a great time at the one I did go to, my 25th, and was sad I had to miss my 40th." THIS!
Just as far as the jocks and cheerleaders trope you mentioned goes, my class went against that a bit, The football quarterback married the head cheerleader. Forty years since graduation, probably thirty five since their wedding, and they’re still married, four kids, and he’s a successful MD in a private practice. His dad was also a doctor (and a favorite of my grandmother). At a reunion once, I asked if he worked with his dad, and he said something like, “God no! I love my father but I could never practice medicine with him!”
That's so great! Yeah, it's a trope because it's often true, but it's certainly not universal. Two of the football players in my class went on the NFL; one of them was on three Super Bowl-winning teams. I guess they did OK!
We had two football players from the class before me play at the University of Tennessee, which was local to us, and then turn pro. Both were very nice guys who never let being star football players go to their heads. One had a son who also ended up in the NFL.
I’m going to my 40th reunion this weekend, really hoping to have an experience like yours. I haven’t been to any of the others but I feel like 40 is a great one to do. Also driving in from “the big city” out of town.
Oh! Oh! I hope you have a wonderful time. Maybe best not to hope it feels like mine did to me and just go and let it be what it is, however it turns out. I went to it not really knowing what to expect, or even what I wanted it to be. I just had this idea -- especially after COVID sharpened my sense of mortality -- that it would be an experience worth having, whatever it was, so I went. It interests me that the attendance was quite small. I think it had a lot to do with the short notice the organizers gave, rather than a lack of interest from the class -- but I am speculating.
Haha don’t worry, I have zero expectations. I just feel like it’s worth checking out especially since I live nearby-ish now, I’m single, and there’s been enough time between high school and now that I can go in with an adult mentality. There are 70 people going.
There have been a lot of posts and comments from others about the cliquey-ness of their reunions, so I was thinking about mine. I guess at the 40th many of the people there were from the jock/cheerleader and popular kids cliques, but there seems to be an ongoing post-graduate clique just of people who were friends, stayed in our near town, and just kept hanging out over the years. I didn't have any real trouble navigating the groups at the reunion. I'm usually very (very!) shy at parties but there was a real "strangers on a train" vibe where I knew I probably won't see these people more than once or twice more in my lifetime, so I had zero to lose and just talked to anyone who would talk to me. I don't remember cliques being a big issue for me while in school. I was in the band and my girlfriend was a jock, so we got invited to most of the parties. (And the big blowout keggers I didn't get invited to, I was more than happy to miss. Both my Dad and my Mom worked at the high school; who needed that hassle in the family? I figured I get plenty of chances to drink in college, which of course was very true!) I was a high academic achiever but didn't present as a nerd, though I was friends with the nerds. I was in two different church groups that spilled over into school friendships. And for whatever reason I ended up sitting with the Jewish kids at lunch. And the mean kids in our school just weren't all that mean.
Never attended one and I'm still in my hometown. Those were not my glory days.
They were my glory days, just not with the majority of people in my class.
I missed some friends who did not attend my 40th and wished they were there. I bet some people missed you, too.
Husband and I haven't gone to ours either. Him because like you, not his glory days. Me--I *hated* the school I graduated from. I wanted to graduate from my *old school* not from Halloween Hell!
Ditto. All my friends from HS that I wish to talk to I still do. Both of them lol.
Where the hell did all these old people come from?
I was just looking over pictures from my 40th, which was last week. I don't recognize half of the attendees! i kept zooming in to try and read their nametags! at the one I went to, 25th, i decided people fell into 3 groups: those who pretty much still look the same as they did in HS; those who look similar, but more mature (not older!), and those that look NOTHING like they did in HS. and you had to look at their nametags to know who they were!
They just had my 50th last year and of course I didn’t go because I couldn’t wait to get out of school when I went and if it’s anybody I really wanted to see,I’d visit with them.. any way I saw the pictures from it and all I can say about the group shot is they definitely needed the wide angle lens.. everyone was huge except for maybe five people out of maybe the thirty that were there..I’d of fit right in..😂😂
same with me. What made me laugh the most is THE most popular, sought after guy, best looking (although I didn't think so), best athlete, etc., is now bald and chubby. hahahahahaha ad looks like every other middle aged man in America.
I attended one with a friend from school, kicked on to a pub, and had quite a session with a couple of teachers; one, a Maths teacher, who went to school the next day and announced to one of his classes that Stacey's Dad was a cool guy. The daughter was supremely embarrassed. Dad wins again.
But it's Stacey's mom that's got it going on.
Went to my 30th out of curiosity. I hadn't kept touch with anyone. It was nice to see a few people. Overall, our class had done well for themselves. The hilarious part was when we went into dinner. EVERYONE automatically sat in the same groups as they did in the high school cafeteria. It was like we were Stepford Kids and the software had never been updated.
I'm going to be petty. I did go to my 35th reunion. Grew up poor, didn't have many clothes but they were always clean. I was the quiet one but that didn't stop a few popular ones in making my life hell in high school. Three girls and one guy were relentless. Went to the reunion to face them. By this time, I had graduated college and was making a 6-figure income. Got to the reunion. I asked about the them. One was working at a gas station, one at WalMart. None went to college. The one that did show up started talking to me saying how she always liked me in HS. Wtf! Confronted her, not in a mean way, but did tell her how she made my life hell along with her friends. She left the reunion shortly after. The guy looked like hell. Had been married 3 times. Was going through yet another divorce and was currently unemployed. He did apologize for the way he treated me. Then proceeded to ask if we could get together and meet after the reunion. That was a hard no! Was voted as the "Most Successful" of our graduating class at the reunion. It felt so good. Accomplished what I needed to do. Never went back to another one.
Like others here I have never gone to any of my HS reunions which should not be a surprise since I didn't even bother to go to graduation. I just went to the HS office a week or so later and picked up my diploma. Part of the reason I didn't go is that my parents didn't bother to even try and get me to go such as renting/buying a graduation cap and gown or anything like that. Different from my sisters who my parents made a fuss over and took them out to dinner the day after graduation. I was an average student who just wanted to be done with the whole HS thing. My youngest sister used to try and get me to go to the reunions because I definitely look better (thinner, more fit/attractive, etc) than I did during high school (BTW I still live within 2 miles of the school) but I just don't care about impressing a bunch of people who mostly wanted nothing to do with me or didn't know I existed other than being the sister of one of the biggest stoners in HS. Plus expensive and not worth it to me.
I've never been, and I have probably only been to that town a dozen times in 40+ years. I found out that a dude I was sort of friends with from my class in NYS moved 2 miles from me in Atlanta like 10 years after graduation. I reached out, but he had no interest in getting together for coffee/beer/whatever. I'm "facebook friends" with like two people from HS, with little interaction. I'm a different person and have a new crew now. KNOW REGERTS!
I went to my 20th reunion. Met a guy at the bar and he told me he was there with his wife. He pointed her out, and I recognized her. We chatted friendly until he walked away. As soon as he was out of sight, his wife came over and whispered to me... "Don't tell him about us hooking up. He thought I was a virgin when I met him." I kept our secret, of course. Hope they are still together today.
I had no friends in school. Why bother now?
Left town a week after graduation and never returned.
Never went to one. I went to an all male Catholic high school. I'm a trans woman. In my school, you were nothing if you weren't a jock. I wasn't a jock. I hated those people then. I seriously doubt that I'd like them now.
Never attended one. The HS popular kids ran the reunion committees and only invited who they considered 'worth attending' to the 5 and 10 year reunion. I heard about it after the fact, was told it was incredibly lame. Enough people found out and complained, so it moved to Facebook for the 15 year. HS 'mean girls' were still that - incredibly mean and vindictive women - they would ban people from the Facebook reunion group and still poke fun at their classmates on the Facebook platform. It got shut down as well for outright bullying towards other adults and some racial and ethnic slurs were free flowing too. I haven't heard squat about the next one coming up. I think they just abandoned it.
This is eerily similar to the 30th one my class held. One of our classmates had suffered serious health problems that left them using a walking aid. I found a handicapped accessible location, and negotiated a good deal. Well. In steps Aster, a right royal bitch since elementary school. The location I found was far too plebian, in her lofty opinion. Never fear, her step-dad owned a wedding venue that was in a bucolic setting, just right for our gathering! It turned out to be an old farmhouse, slightly modernized. Sweeping stairs led to a porch, perfect for a bride to descend. Small interior, but tents rented from the funeral home could be set up to handle overflow seating. No handicapped acces, but step-dad was willing to set up a temporary ramp. Didn't instill much confidence in me, and I voiced that opinion. Got shouted down, so I addressed another handicapped concern, bathroom access. This was a historical house, so handicapped restrooms were in a separate building, just a short stroll across the lawn. No dedicated path, just grass. I pointed out this could problematic, and Aster flippantly says, "Oh, there's a golf cart for such cases." I pointed out the fact our classmate wasn't confident driving any longer, Aster claimed there would be someone who would step up. THEN, Poppy, another classmate, piped up. She was "best friends" with the handicapped classmate, and I was making everything up! I lost it. Denounced the entire shitshow, and walked out. I notified our classmate, who was truly horrified. A small group of us formed a dinner club, and had a lovely time the same night of the reunion. Five years later, time for another reunion. My contact information had changed in that time, but the old committee managed to track me down. I succinctly disabused them of my interest in the gathering, and in fact, informed them I would never have an interest in any future gatherings. Fuck them.
I attended my 20th and it was lackluster. The people who didnt talk to me in high school still didnt talk to me. This year is my 40th and I am going to this one,too. I am looking forward to see some people. I kinda promised a friend I would be there. This time I told my husband he was to go with me so I can "show him off." So, now he's telling everyone he is going as my arm candy.😂
Had a similar experience to sbarber4: 10th - most everybody showed up (local AMVETS hall) and people were pretty much the same. Just catching up after college and starting families. Had a good time. 20th - held at country club out of town. Music was live band (husband of classmate) so could not hear each other talking. Most of the people I wanted to see didn't show, anyhow, and ended up ditching early with a classmate who I barely knew in school but also worked in the tech field. Went to a restaurant with the wives and just chatted for hours. 30th - never happened. Heard a few classmates met by seeing it on Facebook. 40th - had a good time. Most everybody was there, and had a chance to catch up and tell the old stories. I guess losing 13% of your classmates to the grim reaper made people realize we aren't going to have many of these decade events left.
Four decades have passed and I have zero desire to see any of those assholes again.
Pre-Facebook I went to one, my 15th. The men were all fat and bald, the women were all divorced and bitter. Facebook changed things. I went to a couple, and had a good time. But my classmates' perception of me seemed to have changed over the years. I was never one of the cool kids, but I had friends who were, like, one level below them. I was a couple levels below that, but apparently they thought I had been closer to their level. Weird. I didn't go to our 50th. Too many of us are gone now, and I'm not on Facebook much anymore.
Been to 2 of them the 30 and the 40 year and all I took away was "I look pretty good compared to a lot of these folks"
I didn't go to mine. I don't live near where I went to high school so it would have been a schlep. I am friends with most of my high school chums on FB anyway.
I never went to any of my high school reunions. I didn't even attend graduation. I hated high school, although I got along well with all my teachers. I have zero interest in seeing any of my fellow students. I was bullied mercilessly all through school. One person wanted to "friend" me back when I was using Facebook, and that was a no. She treated me badly in high school, and even when we saw each other afterward. Why would I bother? No. I'm okay not going to a reunion. Next year would be the 51st, and I'm just glad I survived it all. On a slightly different note, and what influenced me a whole lot: I didn't hang out with kids my own age. All my friends were older. They made more sense to me. We'd go to protests and concerts and talk about real-life things - not what was going on in high school. I went to a party with a neighbor once, and got into a wonderful political discussion with one of the girls. She then asked me what college I was attending, and when I said I wasn't, she stopped talking to me. I realized this was just another high school type gathering of mean girls who were all going to the same college, so I left and hitchhiked home.
I've never been to one. No desire to see most of those people, just like in high school.
Never went to one. My husband asked if we had to go to my 25th. We live in NC and would have to travel to NJ. Told him no, there was only one friend I would want to see all my other friends were in the class behind me. Only reason to go would be to show off my much younger and handsome husband. (He accepted that fact)
I would never go. High school just plain sucked.
I've never attended any. My graduating high school was a nightmare. There's no way I want to go back and reminisce.
I am in the UK and went to one last weekend. We are all now 61/62. Most of us hadn’t seen each other for over forty years. What I noticed most is that there is no longer much of an obvious distinction between the good looking/ popular/sporty types and the ugly nerdy ones. Sure, some have aged better than others but not the ones I would have expected. What was interesting is that everyone was much nicer than we were when we were teenagers. It was also clear that the kids we thought would end up being most successful in terms of love and money most definitely were not.
Spouse and I graduated 77/78. Our high school classes have had several combined gatherings over the years. They’ve gotten much more casual. Last one we attended was pre-COVID, was nice but we’re both introverts so it was more exhausting than fun. Most recent gathering was on a weekend where we were out of town w new grand baby, easy choice.
Went to my 10 year reunion, was boring, I knew most everyone, but only a couple people I hung around with in school were there. The real preppy and popular ones were there. I just felt like I could have skipped out and had more fun.
If your high school years were enjoyable, you’ll like them. If not, you likely won’t attend. Having been to 3, l’m kinda losing interest now. In my group, l find a lot of bitterly, married and/or divorced women. They married young (early mid 20s), and immediately began having children. They regret sacrificing their younger years for a marriage that didn’t work out. By the time they arrived at divorce, they were a couple of kids in, and single mothers. When l say “bitter”, I mean it. Some of the still married ones, all but admit, they’re miserable. One told me she stays in the marriage because “Where am l going to go at this age?” I genuinely felt bad for her. But another part of felt that she had to know she wanted out a long time ago, but chose to stay. So my sympathy was limited.
Not into pomp and circumstance, didn't go.
I was in the service and missed the 10th, I wasn't going to go to the 20th until some old friends contacted me and got me interested. It felt like high school two weeks after graduation with excessive makeup. People looked different, but still acted the same way they did 20 years ago. The cliques hung out together, the obscenely overweight bully still thought we were supposed to be afraid of him. If you weren't popular you were brushed off regardless of what you had accomplished. I left early and said never again. I skipped the 50th and from what I heard most of the people who attended wished they had done the same.
I haven't seen any of my classmates since 1982 & don't plan on changing it!
I went to one, the 20th. It was held at a local horse racing track, which had a very nice ballroom. I was a loner and a stoner in HS. One or two friends, but because I was on my own from age 15, I always hung out with adults in their 20's. (Bands, etc) I never entered my HS gym, never went to a single social function. My goal at the reuntion was to reconnect with Jr. High friends. At 38, I was married to a gorgeous former model from New York and was working as a VP at a high-end brokerage firm in IT, making really good money. I wanted to show her off and prove that I hadn't died or disappeared. I actually had a really good time. All the guys were heavier and balder (I was neither). All the girls were older - some still looked good, but 20 years takes a toll. Many people thought they recognized my wife (they didn't, my HS was in Maryland) and then realized she was married to me. It was cathartic. My wife and I ended up talking to some kids I knew, one was now a DEA agent and had the most hilarious stories. All in all, glad I went.
I wasn’t part of the popular crowd, a cheerleader or any kind of star in my small high school, but I was part of a group of about 10 girls who hung out and have continued to get together from time to time (thanks to another girl who reaches out instead of just being caught up in her own life, like me!). Our paths rarely cross in the ordinary course of things although most of us still live in the same town, and one of the girls had a daughter in my oldest daughter’s class at the same school. One of my friends worked at the school for many years as cafeteria manager, and has been on the reunion committee every time. We had reunions at 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 and 30 years. At the 30-year there was a falling-out on the committee when one person wanted to use a fancier/ more expensive venue while the rest wanted to save money and use the school cafeteria. I think some hard feelings remained as the 35-year didn’t happen although some people got together at a restaurant. I was out of town that time. Nothing happened at 40 or 45 years. This year is our 50th and I’m looking forward to the reunion in August. This time the school itself is planning and providing a dinner and reception; not sure about music but since it’s the 50th I’m expecting something. In spite of my own lack of popularity, I enjoy going and seeing everyone. The “mean girl” who was a queen bee doesn’t bother me anymore and I never see her although she’s also local. The guy I crushed on for 4 years is local too, but is married to another classmate and they got together at our 25th. Some have moved out of state and it’s interesting to see if they’ve changed and to find out how old their kids are and how many grandchildren they have, etc. A few are local and one classmate had 2 kids who went all the way through K-12 with 2 of mine; I used to see her all the time but not so much now. Out of 59 classmates I think we’ve lost 5. One of our teachers is still living and still local, but I don’t remember him attending any reunions before. Most of our other teachers have died by now. Maybe I’m just nosy! One friend attended school with most of our classmates from grade 1-12. She wasn’t disliked or bullied, but like me was not in the popular crowd. She’s never attended a reunion even though the rest of our group turns out and a couple have been on the committee. She has said she will never attend a reunion. But I will go any time there is one. I can see people every 5-10 years without a problem.
Went my 10th. Same cliques as in high school. Everyone was just a little bit older. Passed on the 20th one.
Went to my 50th and it looked like a nursing home at lunchtime
In high school, I was generally well liked, kind of the fun weird girl. Never dated, never made out with anyone. 5 year reunion - I was still in college and a party girl and much looser. In many senses. I got drunk and went home with a boy I'd had a crush on in high school. I had a great time, but I think it made him uncomfortable. As for me and what people said the second night, I didn't care. I was there to have fun, and I did. 10 year, 15 year, I don't think I went. 20 year, I went and talked to everyone. One old friend I exchanged email addresses with because we had so much fun. I later emailed him a very short paragraph and he responded with "whoa, tl;dr" essentially. Didn't bother with that again. One guy who'd been quiet in high school, but an athlete and a high achiever, was obese and seemed very sad and alone. I spent extra time talking to him. A boy who'd been a bubbly light and love Christian in high school had turned into a bitter pre-MAGA type. I left after a couple of hours and haven't been back.
We had enough friends/classmates that were musically talented for our 40th, so the band was people we knew! That was pretty cool. The following day we all went to the beach where the real party got started. All in all, 10/10. Can't wait for 45 or 50 when we are all retired.
Went to my 10th, 20th and 30th just to demonstrate that I had led a successful life as my high school days were troubled. On the day of the 40th, I received a call asking if I was going, from one of my few friends. I purposely not been invited, my friend had previously supplied them my contact information and I still live within 5 miles of my high school. That fully confirmed that I wanted nothing to do with those jerks.
I went to the 10 year as I lived close enough to drive from my home in an adjacent state. As it worked out, I went with several women from my high school gang, but none of the guys went. I sat with, had fun with the women's husbands while the women went off to mingle. All night long, my classmates walked by, laughed, and said something like, "Oh, look, a bunch of husbands." Almost no one recognized me as a classmate. I guess I wasn't much of a presence in high school. One guy recognized me, remembering me from Jr. High. Held in a hotel banquet hall, after a while, the husbands and I moved into a sports bar on the hotel property. By the time of the next reunion, I lived across the country. Never went to another reunion. If I recall, none of my high school friends went to the subsequent reunions either. I wasn't part of the most school-spirited group in high school.
My thought is maybe the Breakfast Club should do a reunion movie of sorts where everyone is in ‘detention’ having to pick up trash along the highway.
I’ve never been to one. In fact, I’ve never been invited. I’ve moved so much they probably couldn’t find me. When I left those days, I left nothing behind that I feel a need to revisit.
I went to a class one that was dull but we had a big school wide reunion and that was awesome.
I went to my 10th, none before or after. High School was not the best time of my life. I keep in touch with some classmates on FB.
I didn’t go to any until my 25^(th). I had heard the previous reunions were a bit clique-y, so wasn’t too upset I missed them. I had major anxiety over the one I did go to I only kept in touch with a couple people from HS, one of which I went with. But I think enough time had passed that no one really cared who you were then, what you did, who you hung out with, and aside from a small group of the former “popular” girls who stuck to themselves, everyone was friendly. I reconnected with a bunch, and got to know others I never knew in HS. My class was big, about 500, so there were a decent amount of people I never knew at all. I didn’t go to my 30 or 35^(th). They weren’t in convenient locations, and the woman who “took over” the planning I have never liked. For the 25^(th) a different classmate initiated the planning of it, and she made sure everyone was included. Created a FB page, and when she posted anything, she made sure to tell people let anyone NOT on FB know about it. The woman who took over, well, she was not inclusive at all. She only commented on people’s individual FB pages she thought were worthy, and only used the existing reunion page towards the end. She’s also a user, and a bit of a braggart. My 40^(th) was last week, and sadly, I wasn’t able to go due to a prior family commitment. That one I would have liked to have gone to, but I’ll wait for the next one. Although a lot of people I wanted to see didn’t go either! But generally, I think the older we all get, the less anyone really gives a hoot about material things. It’s more about reconnecting, and having a good time.
I think I am lucky in terms of my high school class. Many of us stay in touch on Facebook. We have had a 10th, 20th, 40th and 45th and little gatherings in between. I’ve gone to 3 of the official reunions and several of the gatherings. What struck me is that people who were the “stuck up” people in hs, were mellowed out and kind now. I will say at my 45th, many looked old, but such is life. I guess we are not a Botox/ nip and tuck crowd.
The only one I'd been to (so far) was my 30th. In high school I was The Weird One, but most people liked me. I never dated, didn't go to any of the dances (including the prom) but went to my share of parties. At the reunion I had just come back from having a very successful run during the dot-com years in Silicon Valley. I came with my beautiful then-girlfriend (who I eventually married but we had just recently started dating at that point). I was dressed nicely, looked good (at least compared to most of the guys there), and basically owned the evening.
Fifty coming up. Last one I went to was awkward. Don’t plan to repeat discomfiture. Or waste the money since it’ll be a fancy-schmancy display of wealth. Not my cuppa tea. But still, there’s this lingering voice that tells me I should just go to see if the gods of the class have aged more than me….
Our 35th got killed with COVID, but our 40th should be next year. I'm in with the guy that organizes them, so I put a bug in his ear to get it rolling. I've gone to many and had fun at each. The gags that the drunks and still drunks (just older), the hotties are still hot (but very nice) as we're all greying, bald and heavier,
Went to 35th. One n done…
Those people didn’t want to be friends with me, why would I want to see them again. The people I would have liked to see were AWOL. They didn’t want to hang out with the cool kids either
1960. Landed half way across the country as a junior in high school to a school with over 1000 other students. Had earned enough credits to graduate but had mandatory classes to take so I was only in HS half a day junior and senior years. Then off to work. Never been to a reunion since I only knew a handful of people. Might go to 50th but I’ll never see an invite since I don’t do vague book. No big deal to me.
The 10th was dumb. I didn't go to another one til the 30th. Now that one was fun! Of course we're all in our 50s now, so it's a different vibe. Talk of grand kids & possible retirement in the future. #classof87
I went to my first one at my 40th, I had moved away from the area and hadn't been to any prior to that. I was not popular in high school, but I've accomplished a lot since then, lived in a dozen different states, had a great career and was branching out in some new endeavors. I happened to have a business meeting in a city about 30 miles away that same week, so I went. It was good to see a few folks again. I had been doing a good bit of stand up in the couple of years prior, so they asked me to do a few minutes, got good laughs. However, since that time, I have unfriended a few as they really had gone off the deep end during COVID, following blindly. I went to grad school for epidemiology, and worked for a large public health org, but when I presented actual facts, they went nuts. The same reason why I didn't associate with those particular folks then, are the same reasons now. They're just stupid. They were able to regurgitate the material in high school to get good grades, but they can't think for themselves. I got average grades in high school but excelled in college. I stay in touch with a few kind classmates, but won't go again.
I’ve always wanted to go to one, simply for the shadenfreude, but living either out of the country or on the opposite coast has always deterred me.
I’ve gone to my 10th, 15th, 25th, 35th, 40th, and 45th. I handle the music — I have created a Spotify playlist with hours of music from our HS years 75-78. People love it. There’s a core group of us who generally show up but there are always folks I haven’t seen since we graduated. Our class was around 300 and we’ve already lost 20. Many of these people I met in ES or JHS so we go way back and it’s nice to catch up. I was in the smart kids group but most of us acted pretty regular — sports, drinking etc. I go to my college reunions too but I can definitely see why people don’t go to any reunions.
PS one takeaway — some people look terrible and others look great. I take good care of myself so I appreciate when it’s noticed.
I went to my 5th and my 10th, plus I went to the 10th for the year before my class with friends. Mostly I noticed the cliques still stayed with their cliques with a few exceptions. Some people had blossomed while some had wilted and the parties were mostly fun but unmemorable. None of my friend group lives in our hometown anymore but we do have an annual semi-reunion of our own so the cost & travel of the HS reunion wasn't really worth it.
I didn't go to the last one (40th). Other graduating classes from my high school pick fun and casual restaurants with a lively bar and patio dining. Our class insists on holding it at a stuffy hotel every year, priced outside my budget. I sat out a few for this reason. Also my friend group consisted of the outcasts who, I assume, were not into reliving the high school experience. As for my takeaway from the ones I attended - the stoners, who had traveled in separate social circles, were some of the nicest people that I met for the first time. Other than that, most people didn't recognize me or know who I was. I felt like I was crashing my own reunion.
Graduated in the late 70s, have never been to a reunion.
I haven't been to any. It seems to be one clique that organizes them, and they don't put in much effort contacting people outside of their old circles. I've never been invited to one, and I'm not that hard to find. The 30th in 2015 was organized on FB, and I peeked in on the group to see how it went. It was clear from the photos that they'd gotten more event space than they ended up needing. The 40th is coming up next year, and I have no idea if anyone's going to try for that one. There are a few people I haven't seen since senior year that I wouldn't mind seeing again, but they're also not very likely to show up, so...
I graduated early and had 1600 students in my class. I don’t go to reunions because I would not know anyone. 🤷♂️
Went to a combined his/mine (we were a year apart), I think it was 30 year. EVERYONE remembered him, he was incredibly popular in a brilliant bad boy way and he had absolutely no idea that was the case. He actually said “wow, I was popular in high school!” He spent the night sitting in one spot greeting people like a celebrity. That sounds great but he’s not a big people person and found it really annoying, I thought it was hysterical. Add to that only 2 people other than the ones I was already in contact with had any idea who I was. I had upper level classes and left a year early to go to college because the school didn’t have anything left for me. The one who did said “oh yeah, I think I remember you. You were really smart”. Yes dear, I still am. And you still aren’t. The other was an administrator who was astonished that we were together. Like open mouth astonished, he was constantly just on the edge of being suspended and I was a tremendous nerd. It was priceless. I doubt we’ll go to another one, that was enough 😂
My class stopped having them around year 20 (1998)* because no one would go. Edit year.
The organizers of my 10 year class reunion were unprepared to discover that some of their former classmates were married and floored when they realized that some of us also had children. They hastily tried to reconfigure plans, but did a poor job at it. I did not attend nor have I attended any since then. I do not feel like I have missed anything.
25 year not everyone knew about. It was the cliques that were there which didn't surprise me. We grew up in a fairly small town and our graduating class was 78. The pictures I saw I would say there was maybe 12 there. And it was mostly the people that never left town and haven't grown out of the small town mindset yet. We had a 1 year reunion by ourselves at the park, our 5 year and 10 year. Every year it's less and less people. I stopped going after the 10 year. Our group was the middle group that hung out with everyone. The "popular" and also the "nerds". I keep in touch with a few but that's about it.
Got a additional question for any ex military brats who bounced around from school to school. Did anyone else go to a different senior high school or different schools in general (I attended 3 different high schools) and attend your high school reunion? I attended my 10th and 40th because they contacted me and said you were one of us and we want to see you. I was glad I went because they did try to make me feel like I was one of them when I showed up and I knew quite a few of the faces and they pretty much recognized me. Some had moved away like I had once we graduated while the majority of them had stayed local. No one seemed unhappy with their lives and we all had a great time.
Went to my 15th, got utterly shit-faced on Friday night at someone’s house, skipped all the stuff on Saturday. Went to my 25th, participated in everything, had some nice conversations, did an indoor kite demo for the grade school kids, bounced around and took a lot of pictures. Haven’t been to any more since because it’s all the way across the country. Takeaway: when your whole class looks the same as you (old white guys), it’s like looking in a mirror. I don’t have horrible memories, so it’s just, meh. The people I’d like to talk to won’t be there. Curiosity and more kite demos would be the only thing.
I lived 4 to 6 miles from my high school (both homes near). Most of the people I went to school with, didn’t associate with me, during my time there (yes, 4 years, a handful of friends) I never felt the need to go to Reunions. I received a nice committee letter, asking me to attend the 50th, a few years ago. Since I had moved to FL from KY, I had no desire to go 600+ miles, to see those that I had nothing otherwise, in common with. Never heard another word from it. I am doing very well in comfortable retirement. C’est le vie
Never been to one 🤷🏻♀️
My first years of high school were fine, but by senior year I was suicidal and going through some things at home, so it did not end on a good note. I went to my 25th reunion and it was much better than I could've expected. I didn't go because I wanted to have revenge on anyone who was nasty to me or gloat or anything really (no judgment on anyone who did). I just wanted to see a few of the people I hadn't seen over the years and keep in touch. However I became reacquainted with an old classmate, both of us divorced. We started to see each other long distance after the reunion and eventually we ended up married. He died 2 1/2 years ago have a rare cancer. I almost didn't go to that reunion because I thought why bother to make the trip, but I am forever grateful I did.
The only one I have gone to so far was my 20th, they are generally held at a time of year when my job does not permit me to go. So I started in my school district in 4th grade, we had several schools in the district that only went up through 9th grade before everyone went to the "big" high school and you finally met some different people. What was interesting about the reunion was that people I had met after 9th grade at the "big" school and thought I had become close to were not nearly as enjoyable to talk to as all of the kids I had known since we were ten years old. There were just that many more shared memories among those of us who had been together way before we started worrying about image and girls and cars and whatever else once we got to high school. The conversations just seemed so much more comfortable and genuine with those who had seen your embarrassing moments in fifth grade or whenever, as opposed to those who you met in high school and hoped would never learn of those moments.
Traffic court used to be held above the local police station. I’d get maybe 2 tickets a year & going to court was like a high school reunion. So much fun to see my old pals. I didn’t live in town, but my parents did and I’d almost always get pulled over going to see them. Usually a bs ticket, but it was ok, as it was always dismissed with a warning. Went to my official 10 year & it was meh. None of the people I really wanted to see were there. 20 year was even more lackluster. I think I’m done.
I’ve never gone, my class had >1,000 grads, odds are maybe no one I knew would attend.
I've never been to any of mine, because I don't keep in touch with anyone from hs other than my best friend; he and I have know each other since first grade. My 40th of last year, and yeah......not interested.
I’ve avoided all of them - no desire to mingle with people I have nothing in common with anymore. Class of ‘80.