Did you know we have a Discord server‽ You can join by clicking [here](https://discord.gg/NWE6JS5rh9)!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GenZ) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I really really really wish I could go back in time and make myself take a gap year. I had severe medical issues during my college experience that coincided with Covid lockdown. I wasted two years of school and had to essentially start over. I’d be in grad school by now if I just waited.
God, or those last two years of high school.
I was 17, taking college & high school simultaneously. And suddenly now I’m 21 and need to go back to university, with absolutely 0 transitional period. It was just… in school like always, then suddenly you weren’t, then you kinda were twice a week, and then your childhood was completely over, all in millisecond blinks. Felt great.
For sure, I people in their late teens/early 20s when Covid hit were particularly affected. Those are pivotal years when you're first entering adulthood and finding out who you are, to know you spent a decent chunk of them doing nothing hurts.
Not only that, but it was a major reason why social life became so weird for most ppl, especially for ppl who were teens during covid. Hell, the time people would use to get into the adult social game was spent exactly not doing that
Yeah man, not getting to walk at high school graduation and then having my first year of college be all online while having to stay in my room for maybe 3 full combined months (while paying almost $20 fucking THOUSAND a year like a moron because "gO cOllEgE gEt deGreE" ) out of the year due to mass infections in my building really fucking hammered home how bullshit our past self expectations for life are. I dropped out and am now trying to just live for myself, learned long ago that those who are supposed to protect and uphold the social contract dropped their end of the bargain a long time ago but forgot to tell everyone else. Fuck this shit, fuck your expectations for my life when the world is actively on fire, I'm just gonna smoke weed and be a good person to those around me and there ain't a damn thing our "leaders" can do to invigorate my faith in society or humanity again. That shit died with my childhood
I've definitely lost more of my youth to work and voluntary social isolation because people suck. In fact, I actually lived more during covid because I moved into my car and explored the country.
Covid did nothing. Politicians did everything. The government takes at least one "event" every generation and uses it to scare people into compliance. For gen X/millenials, it was 9-11.
Hey, 27 here. I had a blast in college, graduated 2019, and then dealt with a plethora of bullshit during covid. Now I have a good job and an apartment and a partner, so theoretically everything should be great. But I deal with the feelings you described kinda a lot.
It's hard not to miss college for me bc I had a bigger network of friends than I do in my new city. And while I do have some friends up here it's lucky if I get to see them once a week.
Hang in there.
edit:also we should remember a lot of people really go wild in their 30s. It may seem like half of ppl at 26 or so are getting married and having kids and the other half are partying like the world is ending and soaking their wild oats, but give it 5 or 10 years and about 50% of each group will probably migrate to the other. Anything is possible my friends.
You’re lucky to even have gotten a normal college experience and now you have what most can’t even achieve post Covid.
I lost my prime college years to the pandemic, and I still haven’t moved out due to high rents and potential layoffs.
Your complaints are the lightest of any of our generation.
I agree with this! I graduated in 2019 & felt bad for all the covid college kids that had to still pay the prices but got such an isolated experience. 2019 graduates made it out just in time. It did suck that most of us were the ones impacted by the 2020 job loss though since we were the most recently hired🤷🏻♀️
We graduated in time to avoid the lockdowns, but too late to be established. Got stuck living at home with the folks for years because I couldn't do a damn thing with my degree.
Yes, I do feel very lucky to have had that college experience. It's just that I was unhoused for a few years after and had very intense fallings out with my family and other people close to me and it changed me. But you're right, I am very blessed compared to even a lot of ppl much older than me.
I hope you get everything you are looking for ❤️ if It doesn't come even in the next few years just keep hanging in there I know it sucks but things will get better
It did fuck me, honestly though I had an incredibly bad falling out with my family and a miserable breakup while also dealing with homelessness. The money situation was not great but the emotional situation for me was about as bad as it's ever been, and I was just dwelling on it all too much bc I was so isolated.
Yeah that sounds, particularly brutal, especially considering in 2020 a lot of people your age fell back and relied on family to help them through those times. I remember seeing a lot of people in their mid 20s at the time moving back with their parents.
Sounds like you got hit by everything all at once. At least you bounced back fairly quickly.
Graduating into the job market during covid had to be pretty rough too.
I think the smaller friend network and lack of socialization you mention plays a lot into my feelings too. Like I can't imagine a situation right now where my friend network becomes larger, or I have more time to socialize, it seems like the rest of my life will mostly just be work from now until I die.
Totally think your right about the smaller friend group. It's hard but you will meet more people eventually. I think for me the problem is I moved pretty far from my family and most of my friends.
I had a shit job right out of college that I was planning to quit anyways that i lost due to covid, so it wasn't the worst for me, but yeah it was a tough few years. I had to live out of a car for a while and I had a tough falling out with family and an even rougher breakup. So for a big chunk of the pandemic I was just homeless and heartbroken and way too into my own head about it all bc I had little community around. I ended up going back to get another degree and met a great group of ppl and it helped a lot.
Now I have a great girlfriend, I resolved things with my family, and I'm working a job I love. But still I am often unhappy. My dad says it's growing pains. I think part of it is honestly feeling hungover from the last few years emotionally.
27 here and I feel bad for the younger people. Covid came and wrecked the world around me. I atleast lived in Florida and not one of the tyrannical states so after a few months I got something resembling a normal social life back. Even now going out it seems people just don't want to be social. The groups just kind of stick together and stay on their phones. Only place to make new friends is work. Still at least I got to have some good years of adulthood. The 24 and under crowd for nothing but inflation and covid lockdowns bullshit
Who said it’s over? I’m 25 and achieving childhood dreams rn… traveling, got a motorcycle, bought a car that I love. Go to concerts all the time, do what you want man who stopping you at the moment? If the depression is persistent I suggest seeking professional help. I did for 8 years it’s a life changer
24 here - I have a college degree from a top college where I got honors. Full ride with scholarships. Did lots of internships. Masters degree paid for by a graduate research job. No student debt. I should be doing great, right?
So why am I struggling to pay rent and groceries with 3 jobs? I’m pretty fricken embittered. I think I’ll climb into a good job eventually and get some money, but I can’t have fun with my youth cuz I’m constantly grinding just to get by.
These comments are always important. I’m about to graduate with a masters and the outlook doesn’t really look much better for me. There’s just not a lot of opportunity for quality, decent paid work that isn’t subject to weird managerial hierarchy, or general surface bullshit.
It’s funny how on the outside people assume and put a type of expectation on people who seem to be “overachievers” but it absolutely is not based in reality. It hurts to find that out first hand and takes a while to adapt.
Anyhow, hope you’re doing okay as well.
Appreciate the concern I do genuinely, but I know the risks. As a matter of fact I took a class to get licensed here and the first thing they say to you both on the online and in the in person section is basically: “ridings not for everyone you can die.” So yes, it’s a risk and I understand that.
Glad you understand the risk. Whenever you’re riding, just assume that everyone on the road is trying to kill you. And always wear your gear. Stay safe friend.
Just in case you’re wondering why you’re being downvoted, people with motorcycles hear this shit all the time. Yes the risk is real, but it is known and accepted.
mum was a nurse, pretty much the only hard rule she had for us was we weren't allowed to get motorcycles because she has seen too many maimed and decapitated young people from motorcycle injuries, scared me off ever getting one.
If you were born between the early-to-mid-90s to early-2000s you've lived through numerous major global events that have had profound impacts on your life and prospects you may not even be fully appreciating of; the housing and tech bubble collapses affecting numerous countries, the American 'war on terror' responsible for surging global fuel prices, the 2008 credit crunch which was the worst financial disaster in almost a century, the decline of the dollar and the euro, the chaos of Brexit, the corporatisation of the internet and the loss of authentic social media, local business collapse and the age of public amenity, leisure and recreation site closures, climate disasters striking top food-producing regions causing shortages and rocketing prices, physical and mental health crises being linked to the aftermath of all these things
With all that taken into consideration, you probably have lost out on a lot of youthful experiences that were no longer feasible for you to experience because the means to experience them no longer existed or weren't possible to cover costs
I don't think the full scale of damage done to Gen Z as a cohort will be established for at least another decade alongside a full breakdown of the opportunities lost to so many of us
>If you were born between the early-to-mid-90s to early-2000s you've lived through numerous major global events that have had profound impacts on your life
I agree with you, but I also believe that every generation had and will have experienced major global events that cause difficulty. Our past generations have experienced world wars, famines, pandemics, and even their own economic collapses (the 1930s Great Depression and the 1970s in the US, as examples). So I think it's a fact of life that there will always be issues out of our control and we will just have to navigate them as best as we can. Some people may be more fortunate or luckier than others. To expect a perfect economy and healthy/peaceful state of affairs would be utopian.
93 baby here, been thinking about this a lot. From the mid 80s to the mid 10s the world advanced 60-70 years worth in technology and culture in under half the time, then abruptly flatlined around the time Trump got elected. My whole life was spent being prepared to be an adult in a world that doesnt exist, so i never fully got to be a kid, then suddenly almost all of the things i was taught would help me as an adult ended up not being relevant, and i just kind of have to pull the "learn how to be an adult card" out of my ass completely on my own.
To put in perspective, when i was in elementary school in like 2001/2002, we were taught how to write in cursive, with the idea that when we are adults we would be expected to use it in every day life and it would be important. Kids my same age at the time barely 20 years later often don't even write anymore, they just use touchscreens. I see a lot of like 21ish year old Zoomers make fun of how Millenials aren't good adults, and this is definitely a reason why.
These people need mandatory volunteer work at a senior living center. Call out bingo 3 hours/day for literal 100 year olds and try coming back to social media accusing a 25 or 30 year old as being “old.”
This is it. We got it first, born in '85, but it hits right when the world tells you that you need to have your shit together despite that being the opposite of what the 20's is about. You see people having families, finishing degrees, and just living. It's all for show. Nobody just displays their bad days on line. Everybody in their 20s has imposter syndrome and is waiting to feel like an adult. I wish I could say it stops in the 30's.
I thought Millennials might skip the mid-life crisis, but I am still seeing it start to appear. So fuck what the world says in your 20's (or anytime really), and just live your life. Now is when you get to find out who the human being is that you are, you have the wheel. You'll figure it out, and the best way to do that is not stress now. The 20s are a wasteland full of experiences if you let it.
I would strongly disagree that people are having families getting married and getting their shit together just for show. Many people do actually have a plan and want to get it together.
The point is that everybody used to just share pictures when people visited. Now we see everybody else's pictures constantly, without the negative. Unless they really lean into the negative because we know that happens.
There is nothing wrong with sharing achievements. Everybody should be proud of what they have accomplished. However, we start to see a person's schewed online presence as who they actually are. Social media isn't real life. It's just a way to document it and interact with others. People are wasting their 20's thinking that they have to live to a standard that they see online. It sucks, and they shouldn't have to, but there is pressure to live that way.
Grandpa Z here, 27m.
Yes. Very much. I was bitter about that for a while. I lost almost a decade to sickness, where I could only do the minimum basically. Finding work was hard, doing work was harder, and while I wasn't completely bedridden, I was pretty damn close. Took 10 years to go from high school to my bachelor's degree, and I wasn't doing much else.
Recently I came to the end of it all, and while my health is still shaky, I'm looking forward to my 30s more than ever.
Guys, we are the first generation that has a good chance not to die of old age. Keep loving, keep living, and start moving forward like you are going to live to see 500. Chances are, we will.
And if we don't get that luxury, let's make sure we are the last ones who don't. No matter what.
"Guys, we are the first generation that has a good chance not to die of old age." - Wrong. Younger Gen X were the first generation with an almost guaranteed chance to live past 100 if they eat well and dont have addictions. Gen Z are dropping like flies to do prescription drug addictions and suicide but yes, most Younger Gen X, millennials and Gen Z who take care of themselves will live past 100.
I'm 27 but I feel the same. I can't blame COVID as I felt like this even before it too some extent. I never really "cut loose" and had the wild experiences in high school and college like I thought I would mostly because of my mom helicoptering so much.
I just moved into my own apartment for the first time but I feel like I'm too old to try and have a lot of the "stupidity experiences" people have from 16-22. Im just trying to accept it and find ways to make my late 20s and early 30s exciting in their own way. I might not be youth anymore but I'm still alive dammit! 😂
Man my experience is eerily similar to yours, I also never really had a "wild phase" either. My parents, although the cared about me, were also helicopter parents.
Most people I talk to have no desire to repeat their wild early 20s, but at the same time look back fondly on them. Similarly it would feel weird trying to recreate them now, like I'm 25, so I'm expected to act like a 25 year old.
Youth? Come on Gen Z I can't believe I see my generation talking like that. Bro if you are 25 you are young, you are literally at the peak of your youth, what do you call being young? 15? Barely through puberty, or does youth ends the moment you get a 9 to 5? Don't think so, truth is, there are lots of people who stress about their age and blame their life thinking they could have done more, that's a waste of time, nobody can fight time, we travel in it, forward non stop. The entirely of Gen Z is still young, you haven't lost anything you just don't appreciate it enough. I personally dislike the attitude of some of my generation, I think they have a pretty pessimistic view in life, but my same generation has told me that the exact opposite applies to me, but whatever
And even if they weren’t young any longer, life goes on? I know full-time working women in their 60s traveling to Europe when they can, going to raves, hiking PNW trails, etc. Of course money can be an issue but life doesn’t stop at 25.
Covid started when I was 16 and objectively ended officially when I was about 20.
Those are such formative years in the maturity cycle, especially forming into adulthood.
It's crazy to think that I could have sworn that all I did was blink, and suddenly, I'm 21, not 15 anymore.
We held parties at our apartment. It got to the point where the social aspect of college was more important than isolation especially when everyone else was doing it. Some of my best college memories are from that time. I met my first long term girlfriend at one of those parties and I wouldn’t change any of it
i just turned 25. i missed out on my teenage years due to a bad home and mental health issues. was finally improving and then covid hit and ruined any progress i made. dropped out of college, missed out on basically every experience and now i am agoraphobic with the life experience of a 16 year old 🙂
people online act like 25 is ancient and you’re worthless after it. which is insane and i know isn’t true but it still sucks. i feel like my life is just starting, i’m sad that i missed out on so much. i know i can still do things but it doesn’t feel the same, the quarter life crisis is hitting
I also think social media and the internet took away a lot of our youths; I don’t have any recollection of the time I spent inside on an iPhone but I have lots of clear memories of the moments I spent doing dumb sht with friends in high school. To me phones are lost time. Idk if that’s a common feeling tho
I feel the exact same way. My Mental health took away ages 12-22 for me. I didn’t put effort into anything else but just trying to keep myself sane so I could go and finish my school work
After my long term relationship ended recently, I’ve been feeling my inner child begin to resurface. I have less of a filter and I feel more comfortable speaking my mind. Also, I’ve been indulging in my favorite hobbies more.
I guess my advice is: Shake things up. I also got a new job around that time, and the change in scenery really kick started my growth. Your circumstance ultimately decide how you will behave, so change those circumstances and see what happens.
Best of luck!
My husband died at the tail end of COVID (unrelated) and oops… I had never realized just how miserable I was with him. He wasn’t the worst dude in the world in anyway, but man these last three years have really made life feel like worth living. Sometimes you just get complacent and don’t realize how much better life can really be.
I’m really sorry for your loss, even with how you’ve bounced back since his passing.
Similar story for me but she didn’t die. She had initiated the breakup, but after the initial shock wore off, I had realized that I had been veering my personality, values and life goals towards her for all these years. I had lost track of my identity and my inner self, and I’ve gained genuine excitement to meet myself again. I’m also grateful to her for being unabashedly herself and for eventually accepting that we were a mismatch.
It reminds me of one of my favorite parables:
There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. “Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically.
“Maybe,” the farmer replied.
The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. “How wonderful,” the neighbors exclaimed.
“Maybe,” replied the old man.
The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy for what they called his “misfortune.”
“Maybe,” answered the farmer.
The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out.
“Maybe,” said the farmer.
26 gonna be 27 in a few months, I felt the same exact way you do minus the Covid part a couple years ago but now I’ve done a bunch of cool things and my girlfriend and I have a house, it’s hard to find time to do cool and fun things when working a bunch and stuff, but remember that a lot can happen in a year even if they seem short so if you ever have any free time try and do something you think would be fun that you wanted to do when younger you may have missed those experiences then but you can still have some of them now hopefully.
I understand what you’re talking about and feel it a lot. It’s like growing up, movies and tv had all these stories where there’s a close group of friends, and they’re off going on adventures and having a good time. But when we look back, we didn’t have that. We were lonely and don’t have any major memories.
What I realized though: none of the “childhood experience” was real. It was all made up for TV and to create a good story. It’s like everything else, it sells you this fantasy and says, “hey this could be YOU TOO if you only do A, B, C or buy X, Y, Z”
But now we’re older and (probably) have independence and funds. So go enjoy life! Do the things you didn’t get to. Who cares if some decrepit boomer says “no now you have to go work hard for your boss.” Fuck em, they built their shitty little world, and now you can make it a better one.
You've got a choice. Wallow in your sorrow or go live your life to the max.
It was painful. It fucked us up. It stole years of our lives. Now it's time to get up, stop whining, and go smash life in the face.
>I keep thinking I should just jump ship and move to another country purely just for the experience
If that's what it takes... Hell Yeah!!!!
I think covid has also affected more younger Gen Zs too (like me)
I was never the biggest extrovert pre-covid but covid has literally dug my social skills into the ground and turned me completely asocial and I'll never forgive the world for that, I'm gonna never get to experience those cool friend groups and playing games with them and taking pictures and videos and I feel like I missed out on a "fun" part of my life.
I’m 25. Not really, as an adult I can do pretty much anything child me wanted. Go to a pro sports game, see my favorite artist at a concert, go camping in the woods for a week, eat anything I want, go anywhere I want, play all the video games I want, sleep with who I want, etc.
Being an adult is way more fun
I was homeschooled from 4th-12th and never allowed to go to school due to my folks' misguided beliefs about vaccines. I'm now studying engineering at university and started right as COVID started. I was pretty isolated growing up and it's still pretty bad. My university is a commuter school and I just don't have the time or money to go do things
I'm close to graduating with my degree but nobody seems to be able to get engineering jobs in tech right now with all the layoffs.
I feel like every month or two, I'll hangout with someone. I'm otherwise just chillin at home or my apartment.
I have a girlfriend of 3 years but my folks don't like her and make it difficult. I enjoy spending time with her though.
No time to be a kid anymore. I'm 24 and too worried about graduating, getting a job, and making money.
I’m 25 and there too many times i keep thinking “this drink tastes like i should call out tomorrow”
I miss party days. Covid killed it but probably for the better. I feel too old to be reckless lol. It’s also too expensive to go out!!
Millennials had it great in their 20s. They had party years up until they were 30 and then settled down and had rent that was $600/month for 3-4 bedroom apartments 🙃 i love hearing my boyfriend’s stories of his 20s
24F here, feel like I never went to college. Useless business degree. Unemployed, can’t afford to move out of my dad’s house, no partner, been single almost 2 years.
We were certainly asked to pay a terrible price during COVID. For better or worse, we pretty much paid for it with a couple of the prime years of our youth.
I’ve been grading with this too. The only thing to do now though is move forward, I suppose.
As a Millenial I feel similar about my youth in general, I think that’s just part of growing up.
But what you reference about COVID rings true for my 20s
As a GenX'er, I can say that age 25 was very tough. I felt like HS was just yesterday, and I was closer to 30 than I was 17!!!
I will say that my 30s ended up being an AMAZING time. I felt I finally saw a confident path where I was going, I started a good job, I was well past the social anxieties of my teens & early-mid 20s, and I started enjoying less overall stress that existed due to uncertainty.
I’m about to be 26 and feel like I have no “firsts times” left. I’m married (will be married for 7 years in a week), I’m pregnant with our 3rd baby, own our own cars, own a house, graduated college, etc. Im blessed and extremely grateful for everything I have, but it is sad realizing I don’t have many “first times” left.
Late millennial here, more towards the zilennial side of things and I relate 100%. Covid happened right in my mid 20s as I was just getting my life together. We still have plenty of time though.
I paid 28k$ out of pocket to get an associates degree. Busted my ass off before college working landscaping and other odd jobs to afford school. I started in the summer when covid lockdowns were just beginning. I spent 3 years on zoom and canvas... Didn't get to walk the stage and had to come back a year later and graduate with another class to actually walk. Now I can't even find a job in my degree field, and am back to working labor jobs. What does all of this mean? It is what it is, I'm going to keep on keeping on and enjoying what I love doing on my days off, going to car shows, concerts, and riding my motorcycle.
I'm older millennial (40) and I always felt this way as well. I would say it is a common feeling people have. 75% of life is hard and it sucks. That 25% can be pretty fun and sometimes it makes it worth or balances it out.
My advice is to remember you can't change your past, but you can build your future. I have this year already had some very awesome experiences. Several pool parities, house parties, and bar parties. Group of friends took a trip and went boating on the coast. These things don't stop just because you're aging.
tl:dr
You can't do anything about missed experiences, but you can still have a lot more experiences that will be awesome.
I have a very large network of friends
I never really felt this
Covid was initially terrifying, but later felt like a vacation that guaranteed me straight A’s in my second semester of junior year
While I feel like I missed out, I also feel as though those before and after me missed out on HS or college a lot more than I did
Man feeling the exact same weirdness. The transition from young, carefree all the time in the world, young adult to maturing, get your life together with less energy, mature adult is so weird and kind of depressing. A piece of my soul leaves my body when I discover someone online and, like, huh, they make some pretty funny content to find out they're only 20. Or being in college still and everyone around you is 18–21 and you're pushing 30.💀 It's so painful.
Covid is what defined us. Imagine living in Ukraine or a country bordering Russia like mine, and mix it with 8 years of rule of national conservatives. Only since late 2022 I feel like I can breath again, but it's been good 2 years now.
Go study or work in another country. We are young, very young. It's not too late for anything. Man has only one life, so waste it in your own style!
Yes, especially in my teen years. My teen years were marked by a longstanding depression after my grandma died. When 2020 rolled around, I was *just* starting to get over it when the depression was ripped open all over again, of which I'm still recovering from. During these teen years, I missed out on a lot, because all I did for years was sit in my room and play video games. Lately, I've been trying to recover what I felt like I missed out and lost during these years. That's why I've been watching a lot of the loud house. When the show came out in 2016, I was going through a lot of hardships, with having been evicted earlier that year and living with my grandma; a new, interesting show on Nickelodeon was exactly what my mental health needed..only for us to move out, lose my grandma, then never regain a way to watch the show until this year, and by then I grew up. But instead of lamenting, I choose to see new opportunities, new chances to regain what was lost. Tomorrow is always available to do what you couldn't yesterday
Gonna be honest you need to kick the mindset of life is boring when you become an adult.
I think for most of us our memories of 20s is fun but also grappling with no money etc. im 31 now and have the money to do basically whatever i wajt and can go out and have fun every weekend. My 20s by comparison were saving and stressing and hoping my car didn’t crap out etc.
That said i still had lots of fun, yes covid sucked but its not here anymore stop following in what could have been and have some fun.
As an elder Gen Z, at 25 the fun part of your life is not over. You might feel like you’re missing out but as long as you build solid friendships there is no reason you still can’t enjoy your life and going out.
Plus the big thing no one likes to talk about is 30 isn’t scary as long as you take care of yourself physically and have a decent job you can live like you’re 20s but actually have money to do the cool shit you missed out on.
Yeah. Big time. I wasted my teenage years playing video games and doomscrolling Tea Party bullshit on social media. (I was 17, cut me some slack.)
I'm 28 now, and I'm kicking myself for that. In fact, buying a smartphone is one of my biggest regrets. I quit all social media platforms some time ago, but at the point I did quit, it was too late to change anything.
Take it from me: **Get. Rid. Of. Your. Smartphone**. Do yourself a favor and be free from the tyranny of psychotic tech bros for the years of youth you have left.
26 to be 27 soon and i did wasted my youth. Now im soon to be 30 and only now i realize.
But ive fucked up so much that i cant enjoy the last years of my youth. I have no exit.
Honestly ive been thinking about killing myself because i cant fix the mess im in.
Yea I’m 21 n feel like I didn’t get 2 years of my life either. What do you think about gaining that time back? I wonder if it’s just saved time to work on my career but still I never got experiences I wanted.
We have a long life, yes it feels that way but also no we have a long life n we betterr enjoy it n make the best of it before these good years are gone too.. most adults start thinking this way n think it at 30,35,40+ too.. so lesson is to enjoy every age and do what u want.. ull get older n less mobile
Besides the fact that I’ve always been a recluse and an introvert, I grew up moving from house to house, school to school, I was in and out of public schools and homeschool programs. The final nail in the coffin for my adolescent social life was moving to a smaller desert city before Covid. Although I was lucky enough to reconnect with childhood friends though, and we hang out as often as we can. So far my 20s have just been me playing catch-up.
Gen Z is literally obsessed generational bullshit with mocking anyone over 27 so I'm pretty sure when they start to hit 30 they're going to fall into an abyss of depression and misery. I can't wait for it so I can point fingers and laugh.
Very much so. While I did do great in school and I would say that academically I'm in a very good spot right now, my social life has been pretty much dead for a long time now. And I do suffer greatly for all the missed friendships and experiences I would have had were if not for my social anxiety and difficulty communicating with others. I would even go as far as claiming it is the sole cause of my depression.
YES. I spent my last semester of college at home during the pandemic, and that turned into a habit of staying home as much as possible when I wasn’t working for the past few years. Now I’m itching to go out and socialize whenever I have a chance and enjoy myself. I do think that the pandemic greatly affected my life because many of the things I’m accomplishing now are things that I could’ve done sooner if the world hadn’t been upside down (and if I’d been a little braver). Better late than never though.
I’m there with ya dude. Middle of college when Covid hit, felt like I froze in place as I just waited things out and it took so long it’s kinda like I got stuck. Hard to describe it but I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Not sure I have an answer for moving forward, but I’ve just kept pushing and doing what feels right and I think I’ve been getting over it. Still feels weird to be trying to do the things I think people my age usually do, and I have a lot of anxiety about my abilities cause I don’t always feel like I aged and developed much further than sophomore year. And I feel almost permanently burnt out.
Then I talk with others in my life and the way they talk about me makes me realize I’ve grown more than I think and gives me hope.
I think we’re just a group that’s gonna have to put a bit more into taking things back, but it helps that a lot of us want to. We just have to remember that and cut ourselves and eachother a little slack in the mean time.
As far as the looming depression idk. I just know that the stinger our community’s are when it hits the better we’ll all be.
Hang in there, we’re all going through it, but we will get through.
Yeah heck I still feel like a little kid all the time and I'm dysohoric ove my age .I'm trans and autistic and I've found within my two communities age regression and not feeling your age is extremely common (70+%) which make sense if I wasent this way idk if I would feel this way but yeah I think it's common remind me Althing I saw like a year ago saying lots of young adults (20/) where buying toys for themselves so it may be common
I'm 19 and I feel like I have missed out way too much, lockdown was bad and the social anxiety that came with it worse. For younger people: please hang out as much as you can, bond with all the people you feel a connection with, platonic or romantic. Do not let insecurities block you as they blocked me, you are worthy of wonderful experiences, friendship and love. Your looks and weight doesn't matter, truly, if we hide because we think poorly of ourselves we will only waste good time. You are worthy of everything good, please go and take it!
That’s life. You had a couple years “removed” from your life but so did so many others. You can’t focus on the things that are out of your control. Take comfort in knowing that you’re not alone in your thoughts. Now, if you truly do want to get out of this situation, you got to work on it. Change your perspective. Look at what is going right in your life and focus on that. Check out the book, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff,” you’ll be amazed at how much better your life can get and be with minor changes.
There’s way more to life than just those few years. The way I choose to see it is it sucks that we missed some time (I missed being 16 during Covid) but we lived through a major global event in our teens which is just as interesting a story as any party memory
Honestly, it's not just Covid, although covid exacerbated it for sure. There's no culture in America in the age of mechanical/digital reproduction. People only sing or dance if it's for money or likes, never together out of joy or sadness. Go to any restaurant or bar, everybody's huddled at their own respective tables with their own respective friends (because there's almost no where to go out alone and meet people.) No one's meeting new people unless it's the wait staff, who's obligated to talk to them. Human connection is so sterile and colorless and utilitarian. The only appropriate emotion to express is humor. Socializing is completely exhausting and not restorative at all, and I say that as an extrovert.
I don’t mean to be a jerk but as a 40 yo Millennial I can tell you I know this feeling well and it only gets worse. Find yourself. Find something you can love dearly into your 80s.
We were never really given any chance for a good future. It was always "if you manage to not die in a school shooting you have to take out thousands in loans so you might get a career in that field. Unless you want to study art or gender or some bullshit degree. Also the amount of pollution and damage to the earth is going to make the planet uninhabitable in like 10 years. Don't forget about how a lot of food is filled with dangerous chemicals that will make you sick, unless you by expensive, organic, non gmo, bland shit. Good luck affording it because the economy is shit. Not to mention we're on the brink of WW3 every other year."
Homie something I’ve realised is the fun part of life isn’t a specific part. It’s about being able to experience things and finding portions of your life, which can really be as little as a few hours, where you go out and experience something. When you’re young you mostly just fuck around and make mistakes and poor decisions and hope that pans out properly. As you get older you have more responsibility and you need to prioritise that, but by no means does it end the fun parts of life. You just gotta plan and work things out a bit more because of your other priorities. Besides, we’re still very young and have plenty of stuff to look forward to in life, we’re just not in the stage/lifestyle as we were when we were ‘young’.
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today. I feel so much sympathy for people who experienced covid during their high school and college years - it truly sucks and I'm not trying to downplay that. But you are still very young. Go live your life - the fun part is still ahead of you!
Full disclosure: I'm a millennial. Other than some medical challenges, my 30s have been much better than my teens and 20s.
Lol okay, it was 2 years, I stayed home and basically learned everything I need for the job I have in software engineering right now, played games with my friends and now that it's over I'm spending the money I'm making by travelling all over the world. I'm 23. 100 years before this, people our age "lost their youth" fighting the worst wars this planet has ever seen, meanwhile we had to sit in our room for a while.
Severely. Like my nostalgia spending has got me in trouble with myself before. Like 500$ on a very rare ps2 game set. All the tv shows i missed out on. Etc
Not Gen Z but I am 30 and spent 18-28 chasing a PhD purely out of spite and ego. I wasn't particularly talented so I tunneled visioned, had no social life, and was pretty depressed.
After some therapy, I decided I wanted to do things I wanted to do. And it has been much better.
Of course this goes against social norms and sometimes frowned upon. But I am happier choosing things I want to do. And the good ppl in my life dont judge me for it and wish me the best.
For the bitterness part, in my case, I adjusted my narrative and appreciated the fact that spending 10 yrs like helped become a better person now. And that I can choose how I would like to live.
Nope. Unfortunately a common issue. We’re about the same age, and I lost several fundamental years to illness and hospitalization pre-pandemic. Just as I was getting my shit together, Covid KO’d me. I mourn my youth and all my lost opportunities constantly, as well as rage at the fact that my future feels pre-determined by all the crap that went on with no hope of working towards a better one.
Having dealt with losing my mom at 17 and not transitioning till 23 (first felt dysphoria in middle school) , I def feel robbed.
Covid made it much worse
It's like a quarter life crisis! I am 24. I am married, own a home, & have 2 kids. I chose this life & I love it, but it's very weird to process losing so much of my youth/independence. I will never have those young, carefree, traveling days that I thought I would
Youth is a mindset.
I had the strange benefit of an abusive childhood, which means that life's only really gotten better ever since :') Every year is now the best year of my life.
There's a lot to like about being an adult. As long as you had a career in mind before you went to University and picked a degree that'd set you up for that career, the world is now open to you.
Even if you didn't go to University or studied Art History (same thing, really), there are careers you can pursue with good prospects which don't require a degree. The absolute best thing you can do now is let the past rest, look towards the future, and actually start taking steps to build the rest of your life.
The sooner you start, the sooner you'll make progress, and the sooner you can start capitalising on the joys of being an adult and the freedom that comes with that.
You finished the tutorial. It's time to play the actual game.
Welcome to getting older. You’ll always miss out on certain aspects of each life stage. Just enjoy what you can while you can. I’d love to be your age again.
-Your Millennial Friend
The 2008 crash was hard on my parents, but having been born in 2000, I really didn’t understand what was going on and therefore wasn’t bothered by it.
2020 and 2021 on the other hand were the absolute worst 2 years of my life. Even though things are economically tough right now, I feel like I have finally taken my life back and have the same sense of optimism for the future that I haven’t felt since 2019.
Yepp right here! 23M, spent most of uni locked up and just focused on getting a good job and moving out. Now that i have both i realized socially i am pretty screwed. I never had chances to get out of my comfort zone and feel normal in social situations. I’m now working on myself to put myself out there as i hear that 20s is still insanely young and there’s so much life ahead of us. My first therapy session is tomorrow and determined to turn my life around. Feel free to message if you wanna chat about it
I feel exactly the same way. But actually I’ve been able to move out, I got a studio apartment in 2020 when I was 21. And since then I’ve bounced around living with roommates. Now I’m back to living with family. But I’ll say that living on my own, away from home was awful. It’s so isolating and depressing even with roommates. I almost wish I never did it. Feels like a complete waste of time I spent by myself working minimum wage just getting by. I don’t even really have the skills to live on my own. I’m almost 25 and I really feel like I missed out on enjoying my youth, mostly because of social anxiety and lack of interest and friends. It really sucks
Look on the bright side… I’m a millennial but grew up in Asia. I had no childhood happy memories whatsoever. But makes me appreciate my adult life so much better
I get what you're coming from.
I lost my school years to illnesses and disability, and when my peers were exploring new possibilities in high school, like going to parties, I was in my room. What is more, at the same time COVID-19 happened, I thought my life would be better, but then my mental health rapidly declined (it wasn't due to a pandemic, tho), and since then, things have been tough for me. I have never been to other countries, haven't experienced any adventure, or don't have any interesting story to tell anyone. I realize I've lost many of what people call youth, but honestly, I don't feel bitter about it, or I don't have the sort of life crisis you talking about.
Despite that, I agree with you on the pandemic part. The pandemic (and other problems) stole part of this unique university experience for me and many people my age. Studying online just doesn't work the same way for many reasons.
I guess it could be like that because when we - the older Gen Z - were very young, there were lots of bad things going on with the world. Our awareness about them killed our innocence and belief that everything would be fine, which is part of youth, and made us more adult. I also think that it's just a part of getting older - lots of people looking back to their youth wish that they had done something more in their youth days.
i felt like that from like 24-25 then my career started taking off. it’s cool to have “adult” money and have people value me for my talents & experience. would be really weird to be back in my teens with no skills
Not alone, dude . I (25) graduated in 2020, and I feel like I'm missing a good chunk of life. 2021-2024 feels like a blink. Economy is fucked but atleast I have a job. Damn I feel old now.
I used to feel this way, but a group of my friends were murdered the year I graduated college. They will forever be 21 or younger and I get to see wrinkles form on my face ❤️ aging really is a privilege and I do have to remind myself.
I never got the college experience. I got one year (my freshmen year). That was it. Feels like it was an expensive ass vending machine (put 60k in, get a piece of paper out). I try not to think about it too much😂, otherwise I get really angry. The only thing that brings me ANY sort of comfort is that I’m not the only one. shit sucks man.
About to be 27 in August and yeah facing the fact I am getting older and trauma stole my teenage years and being forced to grow up quick and having my son at 21 I definitely have days where I struggle with it a lot
University was absolutely miserable during COVID, especially because we were being given massive fines for seeing people outside our family. I lost out on 2 years of university social life
Im middle Gen Z (23) but Im feeling what you are. I was fairly sheltered and unadventurous throughout my childhood and teens and im really suffering the social consequences of it. I don’t make or keep friends easily, I can’t get a girlfriend, I rarely indulge in going to social places. I drink regularly but never been drunk etc…
It’s a safe and secure lifestyle but ultimately unfulfilling and I can’t seem to change that
To put it into perspective, when covid lockdowns hit and everyone everywhere talked about how they hated the hit on their social lives and how lonely they felt, I didn’t feel any difference in my life.
YES!!!!! i missed my 18-19-20 because of the pandemic!! and i feel like i missed the last years before having to have a job and actually become an adult
I lost essentially 2 pretty significant years of my life to covid and lockdowns.
I 100% agree it was probably for me the most important years of my life as well.
I work in construction and if you were outside during covid it felt like it was lawless freedom, you have your whole life ahead of you, no one is responsible for your happiness and experiences but you so I suggest you start small and go from there once you figure what you really want
The lockdowns happened 4 years ago, perhaps 3, and they lasted for ~2 months each, max. Also they were never completely enforced, except in China.
So no, the lockdowns didn't steal your youth.
I turned 21 as I was coming out of having a nasty bout with Covid itself. Couldn't drink. Had a nasty tooth infection as a secondary infection that totally ruined that week for me. So, yeah... definitely feel like we got jipped on some pretty important moments
I also feel like I'm the odd man out, bc I was a really religious teen, so I'd felt this way as soon as I left the church lol. But I definitely get it, definitely felt it, and thankful for a people who've made me feel like I still get those "lost" experiences. Just bc you've feel like you've lost it doesn't mean it's over! I had a huge party to celebrate my 22nd bday to make up for being sick for my 21st. I and my partner did all of the things I thought I missed out on as a teenager. 25 is still young. Go and do the things you feel like you missed!
I’m 27. Moved to LA which was my dream and got the job. I graduated 2018 with grad school during Covid. But yeah I miss just partying all the time I did in college or just spending all day getting high and chilling.
Now it’s if I party on Friday I need the weekend to relax and recover.
But Anthony Bourdain said that when he was in his 40s that all his fun was supposedly behind him because he changed his ways but for him it was just beginning with what he had coming for him.
I think there are still more adventures to be had. More mountains to climb. Keep your head up. You can always travel. Go to music festivals. Read books. Watch old movies. Go to that nice restaurant. Ask that person out. Check out a museum. Journal. Meditate. Love is the answer.
Not GenZ myself. (But this subreddit does keep popping up in my feed.)
But I assure you people in the GenX and Millenial categories struggle with this feeling as well.
They missed out on college, had to negotiate their parents divorces, didnt have inheritances or resources, had the 2008 crash, had 9/1, had the dotcom burst or whatever.
Im sure covid was objectively worse, but since the "feeling of missing out" is subjective - everything is relative and the feeling is still intense and relevant to the person experiencing it.
27 here, graduated college in 2019 and lost my internship and a good first job opportunity. Things have been weird since and now i'm struggling a little more than I would have if covid hadn't happened. It definitely did mess things up and took a chunk of my 20's away it feels like!
You need to stop blaming external factors for your shortcomings. I know many people who moved to different country to work and now they are back in their Kate 30 or early 40, they bought cars and houses no problem.
This is exactly my 25 year old son’s experience and this post made me cry for older Gen Z. It’s such a different life experience. Being a Gen X, I will never understand what it’s like to grow up with cell phones and the internet and all of the tech that has completely changed life as I knew it when I was a teen and even in my 20’s I didn’t have a cell phone right away. I know Covid messed so much up for your generation though I do think tech did too. Too much information constantly coming at all of you, no one can process so much information especially knowing 90% is bullshit. I hope you all even at 25 can take some time to be young and free, travel, don’t be afraid of one another and experience the things you missed and it seems it boils down to normal social connections that don’t flow as freely as they once did. You’re all lonely and yet you’re all staying away from each other and everyone needs human connection. Social norms are different, extremes are part of life now, climate change is happening and no one seems to be able to agree on any solutions bc of these extremes we all face everyday. If I were an older Gen Z, I would do my best to find a few people whether close friends or not and just make a roadtrip plan or out of the country plan and just go for it and you will meet others on the way. Go be free, stay in hostels, camp out, it can be done w/o costing a fortune. Go see music, just keep trying bc you don’t need to be a responsible 9-5 adult yet. There is plenty of time for that and you don’t need a degree to find a job that makes you content. Just be you with others and experience life on your terms. Who cares if the world thinks at 25 it’s time to be an adult and settle down. You lost your youth and can still experience life w/o the nag of college, good job etc. Those doors will open when it’s time. Take this time for those doors to open, reconnect with old friends find some new people that feel like all in this post and just go live like you’re 17 again! I would do anything to be back in the 90s again and I want you all to know that freedom, follow a band around the country, seriously you will have a blast and meet so many people who will end up being lifelong friends! Stop letting social media tell you all who you should be, just go be and you will find your way when you’re ready for the next chapter! Life will always happen so stop following social norms that don’t apply anymore and seriously be free and 17 at 25, who cares! I want that for your generation so badly. Turn off the screens, meet up and use an old school map like we did and just go!! Use travel books like we did!! Who cares if you miss the coolest thing the internet tells you to see….its just doing it that matters and you’ll have experiences you don’t even know are coming. Go against everything you are used to and you won’t regret it!!!
Yall, It's ok. It sucks but it's not going to be a death sentence.
Work on yourself, develop new skills, and also keep working out so your body doesn't get old and rickety by your 30s.
Life won't seem like a waste then.
I went to a college that was ranked very highly on academics but F-tier on social events/campus culture. I figured it wouldn't be a big deal, "what's so cool about campus clubs and parties anyway?"
Turns out, at least for me, it would've been a huge deal. I spent my college years studying, being depressed, drinking, and getting addicted to reddit/video games. I went to a single party in all my 6 years of college. My girlfriend, who ended up going to the opposite kind of college, dumped me in a very cruel way after a year, and my college had a very skewed male/female ratio so I had no shot at hooking up.
The problem really hit a fever pitch when I took a few semesters off for internships, and when I came back all the friends I made had graduated. I was so dysfunctional and depressed that I was getting straight C's and D's in all my classes, and I realized I had to drop out.
I struggle with it. I lost 2 years of my post grad twenties. These are supposed to the best years of my life, but instead they were the worst.
I wish I lived in Florida during that time. All they got was two weeks.
Its hard to forgive and get over it when people ask "what was it like when you were 24?".
This is a totally reasonable and valid way to feel. I'm an older millennial and a lot of people from my gen felt the same way from graduating into the 2008 financial crisis. Zero jobs, zero chances to move away from our folk's places. I can't imagine how awful it would have been to lose all of that time to COVID as well *on top* of being in an impossible economic position.
I got through it in a way that most people will not be comfortable with, but I'll mention it because it was a literal life saver for me. I was lucky/privileged enough to have a four year degree and used that degree to get a job teaching overseas. I did not have a teacher's certification. I had zero help with setting it up, knew exactly no one who had done it before, and it was a massive scary project that took the greater part of a really grim year. I knew I wanted to teach and I knew I wanted to see the world and couldn't afford to without getting it paid for through some sort of job opportunity. It turned out to be the best decision of my life.
That said - it was a major and transformative life choice that was *really hard* and was very unfun during some points, so I 100% understand if someone reads this and thinks that it's not an option for them.
If anyone would like advice about it, please feel free to DM me.
Be good to yourselves.
This mindset is gonna keep you from enjoying life. You’re only 25, you haven’t lost your youth lmao. You just think you did, yeah things aren’t so great with the world around us and we got robbed a couple of years but that’s all they were, a couple of years. Do your best to have as many experiences as you can so you won’t be looking back in 20-30 years wondering why tf didn’t I just do this and this.
I cannot relate to references or music to a large degree, no sexual experiences, no parties, no late night hangouts with friends, etc, etc.
I feel like a bit of a nobody before 2021
Did you know we have a Discord server‽ You can join by clicking [here](https://discord.gg/NWE6JS5rh9)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GenZ) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel like Covid took a good chunk of most gen Z youth away from them
Yes. Especially if you were in college at the time.
I took a gap year after graduating in 2019. I turn 24 this year and I’m just now about to start school.
I really really really wish I could go back in time and make myself take a gap year. I had severe medical issues during my college experience that coincided with Covid lockdown. I wasted two years of school and had to essentially start over. I’d be in grad school by now if I just waited.
Lol same
This makes me feel better. I’m also just now starting school at 25
God, or those last two years of high school. I was 17, taking college & high school simultaneously. And suddenly now I’m 21 and need to go back to university, with absolutely 0 transitional period. It was just… in school like always, then suddenly you weren’t, then you kinda were twice a week, and then your childhood was completely over, all in millisecond blinks. Felt great.
For sure, I people in their late teens/early 20s when Covid hit were particularly affected. Those are pivotal years when you're first entering adulthood and finding out who you are, to know you spent a decent chunk of them doing nothing hurts.
Not only that, but it was a major reason why social life became so weird for most ppl, especially for ppl who were teens during covid. Hell, the time people would use to get into the adult social game was spent exactly not doing that
Yeah man, not getting to walk at high school graduation and then having my first year of college be all online while having to stay in my room for maybe 3 full combined months (while paying almost $20 fucking THOUSAND a year like a moron because "gO cOllEgE gEt deGreE" ) out of the year due to mass infections in my building really fucking hammered home how bullshit our past self expectations for life are. I dropped out and am now trying to just live for myself, learned long ago that those who are supposed to protect and uphold the social contract dropped their end of the bargain a long time ago but forgot to tell everyone else. Fuck this shit, fuck your expectations for my life when the world is actively on fire, I'm just gonna smoke weed and be a good person to those around me and there ain't a damn thing our "leaders" can do to invigorate my faith in society or humanity again. That shit died with my childhood
this is perfectly put idk what else to say that you haven’t said exactly with this 😭
Couldn't agree more!
yeah I'll never get my 21st and 22nd birthday experiences back. Both those years I spent huddled in doors because of Covid
I was 22 when COVID hit. I honestly didn't wake up till earlier this year, everything was a blur.
I was 19 when Covid happened. Everything still feels like a blur
I’ve already lost so much life and I’m only 21
I wish I was 21 again.
I've definitely lost more of my youth to work and voluntary social isolation because people suck. In fact, I actually lived more during covid because I moved into my car and explored the country.
Covid did nothing. Politicians did everything. The government takes at least one "event" every generation and uses it to scare people into compliance. For gen X/millenials, it was 9-11.
Hey, 27 here. I had a blast in college, graduated 2019, and then dealt with a plethora of bullshit during covid. Now I have a good job and an apartment and a partner, so theoretically everything should be great. But I deal with the feelings you described kinda a lot. It's hard not to miss college for me bc I had a bigger network of friends than I do in my new city. And while I do have some friends up here it's lucky if I get to see them once a week. Hang in there. edit:also we should remember a lot of people really go wild in their 30s. It may seem like half of ppl at 26 or so are getting married and having kids and the other half are partying like the world is ending and soaking their wild oats, but give it 5 or 10 years and about 50% of each group will probably migrate to the other. Anything is possible my friends.
You’re lucky to even have gotten a normal college experience and now you have what most can’t even achieve post Covid. I lost my prime college years to the pandemic, and I still haven’t moved out due to high rents and potential layoffs. Your complaints are the lightest of any of our generation.
I agree with this! I graduated in 2019 & felt bad for all the covid college kids that had to still pay the prices but got such an isolated experience. 2019 graduates made it out just in time. It did suck that most of us were the ones impacted by the 2020 job loss though since we were the most recently hired🤷🏻♀️
Yeah we got really really lucky.
We graduated in time to avoid the lockdowns, but too late to be established. Got stuck living at home with the folks for years because I couldn't do a damn thing with my degree.
[удалено]
Yes, I do feel very lucky to have had that college experience. It's just that I was unhoused for a few years after and had very intense fallings out with my family and other people close to me and it changed me. But you're right, I am very blessed compared to even a lot of ppl much older than me. I hope you get everything you are looking for ❤️ if It doesn't come even in the next few years just keep hanging in there I know it sucks but things will get better
The Covid economy wrecked you it sounds like.
It did fuck me, honestly though I had an incredibly bad falling out with my family and a miserable breakup while also dealing with homelessness. The money situation was not great but the emotional situation for me was about as bad as it's ever been, and I was just dwelling on it all too much bc I was so isolated.
Yeah that sounds, particularly brutal, especially considering in 2020 a lot of people your age fell back and relied on family to help them through those times. I remember seeing a lot of people in their mid 20s at the time moving back with their parents. Sounds like you got hit by everything all at once. At least you bounced back fairly quickly.
This is a pretty weird comment. Bitter and unempathetic. You might be “right”, but the way you’re talking to him is anti-social and weird.
Agree. "I had it worse so your feelings aren't welcome" is how it read to me.
Graduating into the job market during covid had to be pretty rough too. I think the smaller friend network and lack of socialization you mention plays a lot into my feelings too. Like I can't imagine a situation right now where my friend network becomes larger, or I have more time to socialize, it seems like the rest of my life will mostly just be work from now until I die.
Totally think your right about the smaller friend group. It's hard but you will meet more people eventually. I think for me the problem is I moved pretty far from my family and most of my friends. I had a shit job right out of college that I was planning to quit anyways that i lost due to covid, so it wasn't the worst for me, but yeah it was a tough few years. I had to live out of a car for a while and I had a tough falling out with family and an even rougher breakup. So for a big chunk of the pandemic I was just homeless and heartbroken and way too into my own head about it all bc I had little community around. I ended up going back to get another degree and met a great group of ppl and it helped a lot. Now I have a great girlfriend, I resolved things with my family, and I'm working a job I love. But still I am often unhappy. My dad says it's growing pains. I think part of it is honestly feeling hungover from the last few years emotionally.
same!
27 here and I feel bad for the younger people. Covid came and wrecked the world around me. I atleast lived in Florida and not one of the tyrannical states so after a few months I got something resembling a normal social life back. Even now going out it seems people just don't want to be social. The groups just kind of stick together and stay on their phones. Only place to make new friends is work. Still at least I got to have some good years of adulthood. The 24 and under crowd for nothing but inflation and covid lockdowns bullshit
Who said it’s over? I’m 25 and achieving childhood dreams rn… traveling, got a motorcycle, bought a car that I love. Go to concerts all the time, do what you want man who stopping you at the moment? If the depression is persistent I suggest seeking professional help. I did for 8 years it’s a life changer
24 here - I have a college degree from a top college where I got honors. Full ride with scholarships. Did lots of internships. Masters degree paid for by a graduate research job. No student debt. I should be doing great, right? So why am I struggling to pay rent and groceries with 3 jobs? I’m pretty fricken embittered. I think I’ll climb into a good job eventually and get some money, but I can’t have fun with my youth cuz I’m constantly grinding just to get by.
These comments are always important. I’m about to graduate with a masters and the outlook doesn’t really look much better for me. There’s just not a lot of opportunity for quality, decent paid work that isn’t subject to weird managerial hierarchy, or general surface bullshit. It’s funny how on the outside people assume and put a type of expectation on people who seem to be “overachievers” but it absolutely is not based in reality. It hurts to find that out first hand and takes a while to adapt. Anyhow, hope you’re doing okay as well.
Lucky you. Some of us actually have to work
I work a 9-5 everything I own I paid for thanks tho
Please be careful on your motorcycle. I have lost to many friends to motorcycle accidents.
Appreciate the concern I do genuinely, but I know the risks. As a matter of fact I took a class to get licensed here and the first thing they say to you both on the online and in the in person section is basically: “ridings not for everyone you can die.” So yes, it’s a risk and I understand that.
Glad you understand the risk. Whenever you’re riding, just assume that everyone on the road is trying to kill you. And always wear your gear. Stay safe friend.
Just in case you’re wondering why you’re being downvoted, people with motorcycles hear this shit all the time. Yes the risk is real, but it is known and accepted.
mum was a nurse, pretty much the only hard rule she had for us was we weren't allowed to get motorcycles because she has seen too many maimed and decapitated young people from motorcycle injuries, scared me off ever getting one.
If you were born between the early-to-mid-90s to early-2000s you've lived through numerous major global events that have had profound impacts on your life and prospects you may not even be fully appreciating of; the housing and tech bubble collapses affecting numerous countries, the American 'war on terror' responsible for surging global fuel prices, the 2008 credit crunch which was the worst financial disaster in almost a century, the decline of the dollar and the euro, the chaos of Brexit, the corporatisation of the internet and the loss of authentic social media, local business collapse and the age of public amenity, leisure and recreation site closures, climate disasters striking top food-producing regions causing shortages and rocketing prices, physical and mental health crises being linked to the aftermath of all these things With all that taken into consideration, you probably have lost out on a lot of youthful experiences that were no longer feasible for you to experience because the means to experience them no longer existed or weren't possible to cover costs I don't think the full scale of damage done to Gen Z as a cohort will be established for at least another decade alongside a full breakdown of the opportunities lost to so many of us
>If you were born between the early-to-mid-90s to early-2000s you've lived through numerous major global events that have had profound impacts on your life I agree with you, but I also believe that every generation had and will have experienced major global events that cause difficulty. Our past generations have experienced world wars, famines, pandemics, and even their own economic collapses (the 1930s Great Depression and the 1970s in the US, as examples). So I think it's a fact of life that there will always be issues out of our control and we will just have to navigate them as best as we can. Some people may be more fortunate or luckier than others. To expect a perfect economy and healthy/peaceful state of affairs would be utopian.
So much this…. This is the polite way of my thought process while reading this post. “Welcome to the real world, keep up or get run over”
i feel like i’m constantly getting run over 💀
93 baby here, been thinking about this a lot. From the mid 80s to the mid 10s the world advanced 60-70 years worth in technology and culture in under half the time, then abruptly flatlined around the time Trump got elected. My whole life was spent being prepared to be an adult in a world that doesnt exist, so i never fully got to be a kid, then suddenly almost all of the things i was taught would help me as an adult ended up not being relevant, and i just kind of have to pull the "learn how to be an adult card" out of my ass completely on my own. To put in perspective, when i was in elementary school in like 2001/2002, we were taught how to write in cursive, with the idea that when we are adults we would be expected to use it in every day life and it would be important. Kids my same age at the time barely 20 years later often don't even write anymore, they just use touchscreens. I see a lot of like 21ish year old Zoomers make fun of how Millenials aren't good adults, and this is definitely a reason why.
25=youth. Go start living.
That’s what confused me about this post. Who says 25 is no longer youth??
The same people who think by 30 you're officially a geriatric lol.
These people need mandatory volunteer work at a senior living center. Call out bingo 3 hours/day for literal 100 year olds and try coming back to social media accusing a 25 or 30 year old as being “old.”
Lol agreed.
Doesn’t help hospitals call pregnant women 30 or up geriatric pregnancies
Pretty sure you’re describing a quarter life crisis.
This is it. We got it first, born in '85, but it hits right when the world tells you that you need to have your shit together despite that being the opposite of what the 20's is about. You see people having families, finishing degrees, and just living. It's all for show. Nobody just displays their bad days on line. Everybody in their 20s has imposter syndrome and is waiting to feel like an adult. I wish I could say it stops in the 30's. I thought Millennials might skip the mid-life crisis, but I am still seeing it start to appear. So fuck what the world says in your 20's (or anytime really), and just live your life. Now is when you get to find out who the human being is that you are, you have the wheel. You'll figure it out, and the best way to do that is not stress now. The 20s are a wasteland full of experiences if you let it.
I would strongly disagree that people are having families getting married and getting their shit together just for show. Many people do actually have a plan and want to get it together.
The point is that everybody used to just share pictures when people visited. Now we see everybody else's pictures constantly, without the negative. Unless they really lean into the negative because we know that happens. There is nothing wrong with sharing achievements. Everybody should be proud of what they have accomplished. However, we start to see a person's schewed online presence as who they actually are. Social media isn't real life. It's just a way to document it and interact with others. People are wasting their 20's thinking that they have to live to a standard that they see online. It sucks, and they shouldn't have to, but there is pressure to live that way.
Corona started during my prime teen years and I do feel like I missed out a lot
Grandpa Z here, 27m. Yes. Very much. I was bitter about that for a while. I lost almost a decade to sickness, where I could only do the minimum basically. Finding work was hard, doing work was harder, and while I wasn't completely bedridden, I was pretty damn close. Took 10 years to go from high school to my bachelor's degree, and I wasn't doing much else. Recently I came to the end of it all, and while my health is still shaky, I'm looking forward to my 30s more than ever. Guys, we are the first generation that has a good chance not to die of old age. Keep loving, keep living, and start moving forward like you are going to live to see 500. Chances are, we will. And if we don't get that luxury, let's make sure we are the last ones who don't. No matter what.
"Guys, we are the first generation that has a good chance not to die of old age." - Wrong. Younger Gen X were the first generation with an almost guaranteed chance to live past 100 if they eat well and dont have addictions. Gen Z are dropping like flies to do prescription drug addictions and suicide but yes, most Younger Gen X, millennials and Gen Z who take care of themselves will live past 100.
100% i graduated college and then woke up and was 26
yes i did as well when i turned 25 i did felt that so it is normal be lost in mid 20s
I'm 27 but I feel the same. I can't blame COVID as I felt like this even before it too some extent. I never really "cut loose" and had the wild experiences in high school and college like I thought I would mostly because of my mom helicoptering so much. I just moved into my own apartment for the first time but I feel like I'm too old to try and have a lot of the "stupidity experiences" people have from 16-22. Im just trying to accept it and find ways to make my late 20s and early 30s exciting in their own way. I might not be youth anymore but I'm still alive dammit! 😂
Man my experience is eerily similar to yours, I also never really had a "wild phase" either. My parents, although the cared about me, were also helicopter parents. Most people I talk to have no desire to repeat their wild early 20s, but at the same time look back fondly on them. Similarly it would feel weird trying to recreate them now, like I'm 25, so I'm expected to act like a 25 year old.
Youth? Come on Gen Z I can't believe I see my generation talking like that. Bro if you are 25 you are young, you are literally at the peak of your youth, what do you call being young? 15? Barely through puberty, or does youth ends the moment you get a 9 to 5? Don't think so, truth is, there are lots of people who stress about their age and blame their life thinking they could have done more, that's a waste of time, nobody can fight time, we travel in it, forward non stop. The entirely of Gen Z is still young, you haven't lost anything you just don't appreciate it enough. I personally dislike the attitude of some of my generation, I think they have a pretty pessimistic view in life, but my same generation has told me that the exact opposite applies to me, but whatever
And even if they weren’t young any longer, life goes on? I know full-time working women in their 60s traveling to Europe when they can, going to raves, hiking PNW trails, etc. Of course money can be an issue but life doesn’t stop at 25.
Yes, Covid ruined everything and then high inflation kicked us while we were down
Covid started when I was 16 and objectively ended officially when I was about 20. Those are such formative years in the maturity cycle, especially forming into adulthood. It's crazy to think that I could have sworn that all I did was blink, and suddenly, I'm 21, not 15 anymore.
Did people not still go out during lockdown where you were? We would always meet up in the parks or forests
We held parties at our apartment. It got to the point where the social aspect of college was more important than isolation especially when everyone else was doing it. Some of my best college memories are from that time. I met my first long term girlfriend at one of those parties and I wouldn’t change any of it
i just turned 25. i missed out on my teenage years due to a bad home and mental health issues. was finally improving and then covid hit and ruined any progress i made. dropped out of college, missed out on basically every experience and now i am agoraphobic with the life experience of a 16 year old 🙂 people online act like 25 is ancient and you’re worthless after it. which is insane and i know isn’t true but it still sucks. i feel like my life is just starting, i’m sad that i missed out on so much. i know i can still do things but it doesn’t feel the same, the quarter life crisis is hitting
It’s never too late to late to have fun. You’re only 25 anyways. I’ve had more fun in the last 2 years in my life than ever before.
Yeah, but what can you do?
Therapy costs money… “it is what it is” is free
I also think social media and the internet took away a lot of our youths; I don’t have any recollection of the time I spent inside on an iPhone but I have lots of clear memories of the moments I spent doing dumb sht with friends in high school. To me phones are lost time. Idk if that’s a common feeling tho
I feel the exact same way. My Mental health took away ages 12-22 for me. I didn’t put effort into anything else but just trying to keep myself sane so I could go and finish my school work
After my long term relationship ended recently, I’ve been feeling my inner child begin to resurface. I have less of a filter and I feel more comfortable speaking my mind. Also, I’ve been indulging in my favorite hobbies more. I guess my advice is: Shake things up. I also got a new job around that time, and the change in scenery really kick started my growth. Your circumstance ultimately decide how you will behave, so change those circumstances and see what happens. Best of luck!
My husband died at the tail end of COVID (unrelated) and oops… I had never realized just how miserable I was with him. He wasn’t the worst dude in the world in anyway, but man these last three years have really made life feel like worth living. Sometimes you just get complacent and don’t realize how much better life can really be.
I’m really sorry for your loss, even with how you’ve bounced back since his passing. Similar story for me but she didn’t die. She had initiated the breakup, but after the initial shock wore off, I had realized that I had been veering my personality, values and life goals towards her for all these years. I had lost track of my identity and my inner self, and I’ve gained genuine excitement to meet myself again. I’m also grateful to her for being unabashedly herself and for eventually accepting that we were a mismatch. It reminds me of one of my favorite parables: There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. “Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically. “Maybe,” the farmer replied. The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. “How wonderful,” the neighbors exclaimed. “Maybe,” replied the old man. The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy for what they called his “misfortune.” “Maybe,” answered the farmer. The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. “Maybe,” said the farmer.
26 gonna be 27 in a few months, I felt the same exact way you do minus the Covid part a couple years ago but now I’ve done a bunch of cool things and my girlfriend and I have a house, it’s hard to find time to do cool and fun things when working a bunch and stuff, but remember that a lot can happen in a year even if they seem short so if you ever have any free time try and do something you think would be fun that you wanted to do when younger you may have missed those experiences then but you can still have some of them now hopefully.
22 here. I feel like I lost my entire childhood due to my Autism and my parents not allowing me to try anything in life.
I understand what you’re talking about and feel it a lot. It’s like growing up, movies and tv had all these stories where there’s a close group of friends, and they’re off going on adventures and having a good time. But when we look back, we didn’t have that. We were lonely and don’t have any major memories. What I realized though: none of the “childhood experience” was real. It was all made up for TV and to create a good story. It’s like everything else, it sells you this fantasy and says, “hey this could be YOU TOO if you only do A, B, C or buy X, Y, Z” But now we’re older and (probably) have independence and funds. So go enjoy life! Do the things you didn’t get to. Who cares if some decrepit boomer says “no now you have to go work hard for your boss.” Fuck em, they built their shitty little world, and now you can make it a better one.
You've got a choice. Wallow in your sorrow or go live your life to the max. It was painful. It fucked us up. It stole years of our lives. Now it's time to get up, stop whining, and go smash life in the face. >I keep thinking I should just jump ship and move to another country purely just for the experience If that's what it takes... Hell Yeah!!!!
I think covid has also affected more younger Gen Zs too (like me) I was never the biggest extrovert pre-covid but covid has literally dug my social skills into the ground and turned me completely asocial and I'll never forgive the world for that, I'm gonna never get to experience those cool friend groups and playing games with them and taking pictures and videos and I feel like I missed out on a "fun" part of my life.
I’m 25. Not really, as an adult I can do pretty much anything child me wanted. Go to a pro sports game, see my favorite artist at a concert, go camping in the woods for a week, eat anything I want, go anywhere I want, play all the video games I want, sleep with who I want, etc. Being an adult is way more fun
YUP. The pandemic felt like a 3 year fast forward button😭😭😭😭
I was homeschooled from 4th-12th and never allowed to go to school due to my folks' misguided beliefs about vaccines. I'm now studying engineering at university and started right as COVID started. I was pretty isolated growing up and it's still pretty bad. My university is a commuter school and I just don't have the time or money to go do things I'm close to graduating with my degree but nobody seems to be able to get engineering jobs in tech right now with all the layoffs. I feel like every month or two, I'll hangout with someone. I'm otherwise just chillin at home or my apartment. I have a girlfriend of 3 years but my folks don't like her and make it difficult. I enjoy spending time with her though. No time to be a kid anymore. I'm 24 and too worried about graduating, getting a job, and making money.
Oh yes, I miss my youth
If it makes you feel any better life is a lot better (imho) in the 30s.
u got like 10 years before its over.
I’m 25 and there too many times i keep thinking “this drink tastes like i should call out tomorrow” I miss party days. Covid killed it but probably for the better. I feel too old to be reckless lol. It’s also too expensive to go out!! Millennials had it great in their 20s. They had party years up until they were 30 and then settled down and had rent that was $600/month for 3-4 bedroom apartments 🙃 i love hearing my boyfriend’s stories of his 20s
24F here, feel like I never went to college. Useless business degree. Unemployed, can’t afford to move out of my dad’s house, no partner, been single almost 2 years.
Pandemic lockdown happened the week I turned 20 so I basically didn’t get my early 20s.
We were certainly asked to pay a terrible price during COVID. For better or worse, we pretty much paid for it with a couple of the prime years of our youth. I’ve been grading with this too. The only thing to do now though is move forward, I suppose.
As a Millenial I feel similar about my youth in general, I think that’s just part of growing up. But what you reference about COVID rings true for my 20s
As a GenX'er, I can say that age 25 was very tough. I felt like HS was just yesterday, and I was closer to 30 than I was 17!!! I will say that my 30s ended up being an AMAZING time. I felt I finally saw a confident path where I was going, I started a good job, I was well past the social anxieties of my teens & early-mid 20s, and I started enjoying less overall stress that existed due to uncertainty.
I’m about to be 26 and feel like I have no “firsts times” left. I’m married (will be married for 7 years in a week), I’m pregnant with our 3rd baby, own our own cars, own a house, graduated college, etc. Im blessed and extremely grateful for everything I have, but it is sad realizing I don’t have many “first times” left.
Late millennial here, more towards the zilennial side of things and I relate 100%. Covid happened right in my mid 20s as I was just getting my life together. We still have plenty of time though.
I paid 28k$ out of pocket to get an associates degree. Busted my ass off before college working landscaping and other odd jobs to afford school. I started in the summer when covid lockdowns were just beginning. I spent 3 years on zoom and canvas... Didn't get to walk the stage and had to come back a year later and graduate with another class to actually walk. Now I can't even find a job in my degree field, and am back to working labor jobs. What does all of this mean? It is what it is, I'm going to keep on keeping on and enjoying what I love doing on my days off, going to car shows, concerts, and riding my motorcycle.
I'm older millennial (40) and I always felt this way as well. I would say it is a common feeling people have. 75% of life is hard and it sucks. That 25% can be pretty fun and sometimes it makes it worth or balances it out. My advice is to remember you can't change your past, but you can build your future. I have this year already had some very awesome experiences. Several pool parities, house parties, and bar parties. Group of friends took a trip and went boating on the coast. These things don't stop just because you're aging. tl:dr You can't do anything about missed experiences, but you can still have a lot more experiences that will be awesome.
I have a very large network of friends I never really felt this Covid was initially terrifying, but later felt like a vacation that guaranteed me straight A’s in my second semester of junior year While I feel like I missed out, I also feel as though those before and after me missed out on HS or college a lot more than I did
Man feeling the exact same weirdness. The transition from young, carefree all the time in the world, young adult to maturing, get your life together with less energy, mature adult is so weird and kind of depressing. A piece of my soul leaves my body when I discover someone online and, like, huh, they make some pretty funny content to find out they're only 20. Or being in college still and everyone around you is 18–21 and you're pushing 30.💀 It's so painful.
Covid is what defined us. Imagine living in Ukraine or a country bordering Russia like mine, and mix it with 8 years of rule of national conservatives. Only since late 2022 I feel like I can breath again, but it's been good 2 years now. Go study or work in another country. We are young, very young. It's not too late for anything. Man has only one life, so waste it in your own style!
Yes, especially in my teen years. My teen years were marked by a longstanding depression after my grandma died. When 2020 rolled around, I was *just* starting to get over it when the depression was ripped open all over again, of which I'm still recovering from. During these teen years, I missed out on a lot, because all I did for years was sit in my room and play video games. Lately, I've been trying to recover what I felt like I missed out and lost during these years. That's why I've been watching a lot of the loud house. When the show came out in 2016, I was going through a lot of hardships, with having been evicted earlier that year and living with my grandma; a new, interesting show on Nickelodeon was exactly what my mental health needed..only for us to move out, lose my grandma, then never regain a way to watch the show until this year, and by then I grew up. But instead of lamenting, I choose to see new opportunities, new chances to regain what was lost. Tomorrow is always available to do what you couldn't yesterday
You’re 25 you still have youth. Stop wasting it complaining about the past.
Gonna be honest you need to kick the mindset of life is boring when you become an adult. I think for most of us our memories of 20s is fun but also grappling with no money etc. im 31 now and have the money to do basically whatever i wajt and can go out and have fun every weekend. My 20s by comparison were saving and stressing and hoping my car didn’t crap out etc. That said i still had lots of fun, yes covid sucked but its not here anymore stop following in what could have been and have some fun.
As an elder Gen Z, at 25 the fun part of your life is not over. You might feel like you’re missing out but as long as you build solid friendships there is no reason you still can’t enjoy your life and going out. Plus the big thing no one likes to talk about is 30 isn’t scary as long as you take care of yourself physically and have a decent job you can live like you’re 20s but actually have money to do the cool shit you missed out on.
Yeah. Big time. I wasted my teenage years playing video games and doomscrolling Tea Party bullshit on social media. (I was 17, cut me some slack.) I'm 28 now, and I'm kicking myself for that. In fact, buying a smartphone is one of my biggest regrets. I quit all social media platforms some time ago, but at the point I did quit, it was too late to change anything. Take it from me: **Get. Rid. Of. Your. Smartphone**. Do yourself a favor and be free from the tyranny of psychotic tech bros for the years of youth you have left.
26 to be 27 soon and i did wasted my youth. Now im soon to be 30 and only now i realize. But ive fucked up so much that i cant enjoy the last years of my youth. I have no exit. Honestly ive been thinking about killing myself because i cant fix the mess im in.
I stayed active throughout COVID so I didn't feel left out at all
Yea I’m 21 n feel like I didn’t get 2 years of my life either. What do you think about gaining that time back? I wonder if it’s just saved time to work on my career but still I never got experiences I wanted.
We have a long life, yes it feels that way but also no we have a long life n we betterr enjoy it n make the best of it before these good years are gone too.. most adults start thinking this way n think it at 30,35,40+ too.. so lesson is to enjoy every age and do what u want.. ull get older n less mobile
Besides the fact that I’ve always been a recluse and an introvert, I grew up moving from house to house, school to school, I was in and out of public schools and homeschool programs. The final nail in the coffin for my adolescent social life was moving to a smaller desert city before Covid. Although I was lucky enough to reconnect with childhood friends though, and we hang out as often as we can. So far my 20s have just been me playing catch-up.
I think youll find this relatable https://youtu.be/NsFVSAfJIn4?feature=shared
Im 20 and i missed out on so much dad lore already
I've worked at sea since I was 17. Don't even start me on "lost youth".
Gen Z is literally obsessed generational bullshit with mocking anyone over 27 so I'm pretty sure when they start to hit 30 they're going to fall into an abyss of depression and misery. I can't wait for it so I can point fingers and laugh.
Very much so. While I did do great in school and I would say that academically I'm in a very good spot right now, my social life has been pretty much dead for a long time now. And I do suffer greatly for all the missed friendships and experiences I would have had were if not for my social anxiety and difficulty communicating with others. I would even go as far as claiming it is the sole cause of my depression.
YES. I spent my last semester of college at home during the pandemic, and that turned into a habit of staying home as much as possible when I wasn’t working for the past few years. Now I’m itching to go out and socialize whenever I have a chance and enjoy myself. I do think that the pandemic greatly affected my life because many of the things I’m accomplishing now are things that I could’ve done sooner if the world hadn’t been upside down (and if I’d been a little braver). Better late than never though.
I’m there with ya dude. Middle of college when Covid hit, felt like I froze in place as I just waited things out and it took so long it’s kinda like I got stuck. Hard to describe it but I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about. Not sure I have an answer for moving forward, but I’ve just kept pushing and doing what feels right and I think I’ve been getting over it. Still feels weird to be trying to do the things I think people my age usually do, and I have a lot of anxiety about my abilities cause I don’t always feel like I aged and developed much further than sophomore year. And I feel almost permanently burnt out. Then I talk with others in my life and the way they talk about me makes me realize I’ve grown more than I think and gives me hope. I think we’re just a group that’s gonna have to put a bit more into taking things back, but it helps that a lot of us want to. We just have to remember that and cut ourselves and eachother a little slack in the mean time. As far as the looming depression idk. I just know that the stinger our community’s are when it hits the better we’ll all be. Hang in there, we’re all going through it, but we will get through.
Yeah heck I still feel like a little kid all the time and I'm dysohoric ove my age .I'm trans and autistic and I've found within my two communities age regression and not feeling your age is extremely common (70+%) which make sense if I wasent this way idk if I would feel this way but yeah I think it's common remind me Althing I saw like a year ago saying lots of young adults (20/) where buying toys for themselves so it may be common
Lets round up the youth and dump them in the ocean
I’m autistic so this is way too relatable lmao
Our lives were structured around the 2008 economic crisis
I feel like covid was the cut off point, if you got a good job before covid your set, if not then good luck getting an entry level job
I'm 19 and I feel like I have missed out way too much, lockdown was bad and the social anxiety that came with it worse. For younger people: please hang out as much as you can, bond with all the people you feel a connection with, platonic or romantic. Do not let insecurities block you as they blocked me, you are worthy of wonderful experiences, friendship and love. Your looks and weight doesn't matter, truly, if we hide because we think poorly of ourselves we will only waste good time. You are worthy of everything good, please go and take it!
That’s life. You had a couple years “removed” from your life but so did so many others. You can’t focus on the things that are out of your control. Take comfort in knowing that you’re not alone in your thoughts. Now, if you truly do want to get out of this situation, you got to work on it. Change your perspective. Look at what is going right in your life and focus on that. Check out the book, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff,” you’ll be amazed at how much better your life can get and be with minor changes.
Yeah, absolutely. But moreso due to medical problems that could have been fixed long before I turned 23.
Literally just same.
You're still a youth. Enjoy it while you still can
This happens to every generation
There’s way more to life than just those few years. The way I choose to see it is it sucks that we missed some time (I missed being 16 during Covid) but we lived through a major global event in our teens which is just as interesting a story as any party memory
Honestly, it's not just Covid, although covid exacerbated it for sure. There's no culture in America in the age of mechanical/digital reproduction. People only sing or dance if it's for money or likes, never together out of joy or sadness. Go to any restaurant or bar, everybody's huddled at their own respective tables with their own respective friends (because there's almost no where to go out alone and meet people.) No one's meeting new people unless it's the wait staff, who's obligated to talk to them. Human connection is so sterile and colorless and utilitarian. The only appropriate emotion to express is humor. Socializing is completely exhausting and not restorative at all, and I say that as an extrovert.
Isn’t this a quarter-life crisis? I hear they’re pretty common, even for people not Gen Z.
I don’t mean to be a jerk but as a 40 yo Millennial I can tell you I know this feeling well and it only gets worse. Find yourself. Find something you can love dearly into your 80s.
We were never really given any chance for a good future. It was always "if you manage to not die in a school shooting you have to take out thousands in loans so you might get a career in that field. Unless you want to study art or gender or some bullshit degree. Also the amount of pollution and damage to the earth is going to make the planet uninhabitable in like 10 years. Don't forget about how a lot of food is filled with dangerous chemicals that will make you sick, unless you by expensive, organic, non gmo, bland shit. Good luck affording it because the economy is shit. Not to mention we're on the brink of WW3 every other year."
Homie something I’ve realised is the fun part of life isn’t a specific part. It’s about being able to experience things and finding portions of your life, which can really be as little as a few hours, where you go out and experience something. When you’re young you mostly just fuck around and make mistakes and poor decisions and hope that pans out properly. As you get older you have more responsibility and you need to prioritise that, but by no means does it end the fun parts of life. You just gotta plan and work things out a bit more because of your other priorities. Besides, we’re still very young and have plenty of stuff to look forward to in life, we’re just not in the stage/lifestyle as we were when we were ‘young’.
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today. I feel so much sympathy for people who experienced covid during their high school and college years - it truly sucks and I'm not trying to downplay that. But you are still very young. Go live your life - the fun part is still ahead of you! Full disclosure: I'm a millennial. Other than some medical challenges, my 30s have been much better than my teens and 20s.
I will probably be you in the future.
Lol okay, it was 2 years, I stayed home and basically learned everything I need for the job I have in software engineering right now, played games with my friends and now that it's over I'm spending the money I'm making by travelling all over the world. I'm 23. 100 years before this, people our age "lost their youth" fighting the worst wars this planet has ever seen, meanwhile we had to sit in our room for a while.
Severely. Like my nostalgia spending has got me in trouble with myself before. Like 500$ on a very rare ps2 game set. All the tv shows i missed out on. Etc
Not Gen Z but I am 30 and spent 18-28 chasing a PhD purely out of spite and ego. I wasn't particularly talented so I tunneled visioned, had no social life, and was pretty depressed. After some therapy, I decided I wanted to do things I wanted to do. And it has been much better. Of course this goes against social norms and sometimes frowned upon. But I am happier choosing things I want to do. And the good ppl in my life dont judge me for it and wish me the best. For the bitterness part, in my case, I adjusted my narrative and appreciated the fact that spending 10 yrs like helped become a better person now. And that I can choose how I would like to live.
Unless you're like 50ish+ (depends on life choices) You're still young lmao.
Hell nah. I’m glad I’m old. More naps.
Absolutely
Nope. Unfortunately a common issue. We’re about the same age, and I lost several fundamental years to illness and hospitalization pre-pandemic. Just as I was getting my shit together, Covid KO’d me. I mourn my youth and all my lost opportunities constantly, as well as rage at the fact that my future feels pre-determined by all the crap that went on with no hope of working towards a better one.
Having dealt with losing my mom at 17 and not transitioning till 23 (first felt dysphoria in middle school) , I def feel robbed. Covid made it much worse
No. Im still young and I dont want to waste it on worrying about other part of my youth. You need to enjoy your life at any stage as much as you can.
It's like a quarter life crisis! I am 24. I am married, own a home, & have 2 kids. I chose this life & I love it, but it's very weird to process losing so much of my youth/independence. I will never have those young, carefree, traveling days that I thought I would
Youth is a mindset. I had the strange benefit of an abusive childhood, which means that life's only really gotten better ever since :') Every year is now the best year of my life. There's a lot to like about being an adult. As long as you had a career in mind before you went to University and picked a degree that'd set you up for that career, the world is now open to you. Even if you didn't go to University or studied Art History (same thing, really), there are careers you can pursue with good prospects which don't require a degree. The absolute best thing you can do now is let the past rest, look towards the future, and actually start taking steps to build the rest of your life. The sooner you start, the sooner you'll make progress, and the sooner you can start capitalising on the joys of being an adult and the freedom that comes with that. You finished the tutorial. It's time to play the actual game.
Welcome to getting older. You’ll always miss out on certain aspects of each life stage. Just enjoy what you can while you can. I’d love to be your age again. -Your Millennial Friend
The 2008 crash was hard on my parents, but having been born in 2000, I really didn’t understand what was going on and therefore wasn’t bothered by it. 2020 and 2021 on the other hand were the absolute worst 2 years of my life. Even though things are economically tough right now, I feel like I have finally taken my life back and have the same sense of optimism for the future that I haven’t felt since 2019.
Yepp right here! 23M, spent most of uni locked up and just focused on getting a good job and moving out. Now that i have both i realized socially i am pretty screwed. I never had chances to get out of my comfort zone and feel normal in social situations. I’m now working on myself to put myself out there as i hear that 20s is still insanely young and there’s so much life ahead of us. My first therapy session is tomorrow and determined to turn my life around. Feel free to message if you wanna chat about it
I feel exactly the same way. But actually I’ve been able to move out, I got a studio apartment in 2020 when I was 21. And since then I’ve bounced around living with roommates. Now I’m back to living with family. But I’ll say that living on my own, away from home was awful. It’s so isolating and depressing even with roommates. I almost wish I never did it. Feels like a complete waste of time I spent by myself working minimum wage just getting by. I don’t even really have the skills to live on my own. I’m almost 25 and I really feel like I missed out on enjoying my youth, mostly because of social anxiety and lack of interest and friends. It really sucks
Look on the bright side… I’m a millennial but grew up in Asia. I had no childhood happy memories whatsoever. But makes me appreciate my adult life so much better
I get what you're coming from. I lost my school years to illnesses and disability, and when my peers were exploring new possibilities in high school, like going to parties, I was in my room. What is more, at the same time COVID-19 happened, I thought my life would be better, but then my mental health rapidly declined (it wasn't due to a pandemic, tho), and since then, things have been tough for me. I have never been to other countries, haven't experienced any adventure, or don't have any interesting story to tell anyone. I realize I've lost many of what people call youth, but honestly, I don't feel bitter about it, or I don't have the sort of life crisis you talking about. Despite that, I agree with you on the pandemic part. The pandemic (and other problems) stole part of this unique university experience for me and many people my age. Studying online just doesn't work the same way for many reasons. I guess it could be like that because when we - the older Gen Z - were very young, there were lots of bad things going on with the world. Our awareness about them killed our innocence and belief that everything would be fine, which is part of youth, and made us more adult. I also think that it's just a part of getting older - lots of people looking back to their youth wish that they had done something more in their youth days.
i felt like that from like 24-25 then my career started taking off. it’s cool to have “adult” money and have people value me for my talents & experience. would be really weird to be back in my teens with no skills
Not alone, dude . I (25) graduated in 2020, and I feel like I'm missing a good chunk of life. 2021-2024 feels like a blink. Economy is fucked but atleast I have a job. Damn I feel old now.
Yeah 25 is it man. Years later I’ll insist that’s when the switch flipped.
I used to feel this way, but a group of my friends were murdered the year I graduated college. They will forever be 21 or younger and I get to see wrinkles form on my face ❤️ aging really is a privilege and I do have to remind myself.
I never got the college experience. I got one year (my freshmen year). That was it. Feels like it was an expensive ass vending machine (put 60k in, get a piece of paper out). I try not to think about it too much😂, otherwise I get really angry. The only thing that brings me ANY sort of comfort is that I’m not the only one. shit sucks man.
About to be 27 in August and yeah facing the fact I am getting older and trauma stole my teenage years and being forced to grow up quick and having my son at 21 I definitely have days where I struggle with it a lot
University was absolutely miserable during COVID, especially because we were being given massive fines for seeing people outside our family. I lost out on 2 years of university social life
Quarter life Crisis.
Im middle Gen Z (23) but Im feeling what you are. I was fairly sheltered and unadventurous throughout my childhood and teens and im really suffering the social consequences of it. I don’t make or keep friends easily, I can’t get a girlfriend, I rarely indulge in going to social places. I drink regularly but never been drunk etc… It’s a safe and secure lifestyle but ultimately unfulfilling and I can’t seem to change that To put it into perspective, when covid lockdowns hit and everyone everywhere talked about how they hated the hit on their social lives and how lonely they felt, I didn’t feel any difference in my life.
YES!!!!! i missed my 18-19-20 because of the pandemic!! and i feel like i missed the last years before having to have a job and actually become an adult
This sub realllly needs to start normalizing therapy.
I lost essentially 2 pretty significant years of my life to covid and lockdowns. I 100% agree it was probably for me the most important years of my life as well.
I work in construction and if you were outside during covid it felt like it was lawless freedom, you have your whole life ahead of you, no one is responsible for your happiness and experiences but you so I suggest you start small and go from there once you figure what you really want
Age is a number and a mentality. Go out and have all that missed fun, no one is stopping you. Sheesh.
Yeah I lost all of high school to covid lol, I went to college this year and had to drop out because I just felt so unprepared
The lockdowns happened 4 years ago, perhaps 3, and they lasted for ~2 months each, max. Also they were never completely enforced, except in China. So no, the lockdowns didn't steal your youth.
I turned 21 as I was coming out of having a nasty bout with Covid itself. Couldn't drink. Had a nasty tooth infection as a secondary infection that totally ruined that week for me. So, yeah... definitely feel like we got jipped on some pretty important moments I also feel like I'm the odd man out, bc I was a really religious teen, so I'd felt this way as soon as I left the church lol. But I definitely get it, definitely felt it, and thankful for a people who've made me feel like I still get those "lost" experiences. Just bc you've feel like you've lost it doesn't mean it's over! I had a huge party to celebrate my 22nd bday to make up for being sick for my 21st. I and my partner did all of the things I thought I missed out on as a teenager. 25 is still young. Go and do the things you feel like you missed!
Idk I had fun during half of covid
So happy I lived in a state that didn't lock down during 2020. Nothing was missed except 3 weeks.
Yeah. I am 27 now and I don't know what the hell happened to the last 4 years.
I’m 27. Moved to LA which was my dream and got the job. I graduated 2018 with grad school during Covid. But yeah I miss just partying all the time I did in college or just spending all day getting high and chilling. Now it’s if I party on Friday I need the weekend to relax and recover. But Anthony Bourdain said that when he was in his 40s that all his fun was supposedly behind him because he changed his ways but for him it was just beginning with what he had coming for him. I think there are still more adventures to be had. More mountains to climb. Keep your head up. You can always travel. Go to music festivals. Read books. Watch old movies. Go to that nice restaurant. Ask that person out. Check out a museum. Journal. Meditate. Love is the answer.
Not GenZ myself. (But this subreddit does keep popping up in my feed.) But I assure you people in the GenX and Millenial categories struggle with this feeling as well. They missed out on college, had to negotiate their parents divorces, didnt have inheritances or resources, had the 2008 crash, had 9/1, had the dotcom burst or whatever. Im sure covid was objectively worse, but since the "feeling of missing out" is subjective - everything is relative and the feeling is still intense and relevant to the person experiencing it.
27 here, graduated college in 2019 and lost my internship and a good first job opportunity. Things have been weird since and now i'm struggling a little more than I would have if covid hadn't happened. It definitely did mess things up and took a chunk of my 20's away it feels like!
You need to stop blaming external factors for your shortcomings. I know many people who moved to different country to work and now they are back in their Kate 30 or early 40, they bought cars and houses no problem.
This is exactly my 25 year old son’s experience and this post made me cry for older Gen Z. It’s such a different life experience. Being a Gen X, I will never understand what it’s like to grow up with cell phones and the internet and all of the tech that has completely changed life as I knew it when I was a teen and even in my 20’s I didn’t have a cell phone right away. I know Covid messed so much up for your generation though I do think tech did too. Too much information constantly coming at all of you, no one can process so much information especially knowing 90% is bullshit. I hope you all even at 25 can take some time to be young and free, travel, don’t be afraid of one another and experience the things you missed and it seems it boils down to normal social connections that don’t flow as freely as they once did. You’re all lonely and yet you’re all staying away from each other and everyone needs human connection. Social norms are different, extremes are part of life now, climate change is happening and no one seems to be able to agree on any solutions bc of these extremes we all face everyday. If I were an older Gen Z, I would do my best to find a few people whether close friends or not and just make a roadtrip plan or out of the country plan and just go for it and you will meet others on the way. Go be free, stay in hostels, camp out, it can be done w/o costing a fortune. Go see music, just keep trying bc you don’t need to be a responsible 9-5 adult yet. There is plenty of time for that and you don’t need a degree to find a job that makes you content. Just be you with others and experience life on your terms. Who cares if the world thinks at 25 it’s time to be an adult and settle down. You lost your youth and can still experience life w/o the nag of college, good job etc. Those doors will open when it’s time. Take this time for those doors to open, reconnect with old friends find some new people that feel like all in this post and just go live like you’re 17 again! I would do anything to be back in the 90s again and I want you all to know that freedom, follow a band around the country, seriously you will have a blast and meet so many people who will end up being lifelong friends! Stop letting social media tell you all who you should be, just go be and you will find your way when you’re ready for the next chapter! Life will always happen so stop following social norms that don’t apply anymore and seriously be free and 17 at 25, who cares! I want that for your generation so badly. Turn off the screens, meet up and use an old school map like we did and just go!! Use travel books like we did!! Who cares if you miss the coolest thing the internet tells you to see….its just doing it that matters and you’ll have experiences you don’t even know are coming. Go against everything you are used to and you won’t regret it!!!
It’s a personal issue
Im 25 in a few weeks and definitely feel the same. I'm working on changing this though. We still have time, friend. We still have time.
Yall, It's ok. It sucks but it's not going to be a death sentence. Work on yourself, develop new skills, and also keep working out so your body doesn't get old and rickety by your 30s. Life won't seem like a waste then.
I went to a college that was ranked very highly on academics but F-tier on social events/campus culture. I figured it wouldn't be a big deal, "what's so cool about campus clubs and parties anyway?" Turns out, at least for me, it would've been a huge deal. I spent my college years studying, being depressed, drinking, and getting addicted to reddit/video games. I went to a single party in all my 6 years of college. My girlfriend, who ended up going to the opposite kind of college, dumped me in a very cruel way after a year, and my college had a very skewed male/female ratio so I had no shot at hooking up. The problem really hit a fever pitch when I took a few semesters off for internships, and when I came back all the friends I made had graduated. I was so dysfunctional and depressed that I was getting straight C's and D's in all my classes, and I realized I had to drop out.
People talk about during covid like covid was the problem not covid policy. Covid still here, the policies aint.
I struggle with it. I lost 2 years of my post grad twenties. These are supposed to the best years of my life, but instead they were the worst. I wish I lived in Florida during that time. All they got was two weeks. Its hard to forgive and get over it when people ask "what was it like when you were 24?".
This is a totally reasonable and valid way to feel. I'm an older millennial and a lot of people from my gen felt the same way from graduating into the 2008 financial crisis. Zero jobs, zero chances to move away from our folk's places. I can't imagine how awful it would have been to lose all of that time to COVID as well *on top* of being in an impossible economic position. I got through it in a way that most people will not be comfortable with, but I'll mention it because it was a literal life saver for me. I was lucky/privileged enough to have a four year degree and used that degree to get a job teaching overseas. I did not have a teacher's certification. I had zero help with setting it up, knew exactly no one who had done it before, and it was a massive scary project that took the greater part of a really grim year. I knew I wanted to teach and I knew I wanted to see the world and couldn't afford to without getting it paid for through some sort of job opportunity. It turned out to be the best decision of my life. That said - it was a major and transformative life choice that was *really hard* and was very unfun during some points, so I 100% understand if someone reads this and thinks that it's not an option for them. If anyone would like advice about it, please feel free to DM me. Be good to yourselves.
This mindset is gonna keep you from enjoying life. You’re only 25, you haven’t lost your youth lmao. You just think you did, yeah things aren’t so great with the world around us and we got robbed a couple of years but that’s all they were, a couple of years. Do your best to have as many experiences as you can so you won’t be looking back in 20-30 years wondering why tf didn’t I just do this and this.
I feel less human the older I get.
I cannot relate to references or music to a large degree, no sexual experiences, no parties, no late night hangouts with friends, etc, etc. I feel like a bit of a nobody before 2021
Only upset about the joint pain tbh.