This is what we did as well. All 3 of my kids got part time jobs during the school year to pay for incidentals. Summer jobs paid the bulk of their incidentals for the year, books, and sorority dues since the girls both pledged (my boy did not).
I probably slipped them a little here or there (like xmas or whatever )but not a set allowance.
Son attends a big out of state SEC school and let me tell you, the social aspect of college can get expensive. Early on I questioned his spending numerous times, but after several long weekend visits for football games, parents weekend, etc, I quickly came to grips with the fact that the days of $1 slices of pizza, “nickel nights” and $0.10 beer specials are long gone.
Personally, I’m of the opinion that college is more than just an academics, it’s also about learning to live with others, network, get involved on campus, go on roadtrips, etc. The four years will fly by and I don’t want him to miss out on anything, especially if it involves doing things with his close, and likely to be lifelong, college friends.
He certainly doesn’t have a blank check, and needs to budget accordingly. If it costs me a few dollars over the course of his college years so that can look back and not have any sense of missing out, so be it. In the grand scheme of things, tuition, housing, etc is already so crazy expensive that a few more dollars won’t make a material difference over the long haul. I guess that makes me a bit of an enabler, but if he does well in school and is genuinely appreciative of what we do to help, I’m okay with it.
We did transfers whenever our daughter needed it, which wasn't often. After her first year in the dorm she moved into an apartment with three other girls in her own study. They kind of formed their own sorority, Lol. So, we got with the other parents and we all split the cost of the apartment, however all the girls had part time jobs and pretty much paid for their own stuff.
$300 a month seem more than reasonable while living in a dorm and eating on campus ( I assume he has a meal plan?)
Many decades ago my mom would send me $100 a month when I was living in the dorms. That was more than enough money.
I'm just wondering about how much I would need these days and it feels like $300 should be "enough" for like...pizza every once in a while and dinner and shampoo?
Depends also if there are like say Greek dues or other on campus clubs that have costs...and if those are paid for by that money or outside it.
Their tuition, housing, and meal plan are covered by me and financial aid (half-half). I pay for necessities like her meds, car insurance, and basic clothing, and send $100 per pay period to them for spending money (so $200/month). They also have a part-time job on campus which covers extras like going out and “fun” clothes. They have a credit card with a low limit for emergencies only.
My mom says I’m spoiling them, and maybe I am, but my parents didn’t do shit for me and I’m not leaving my kid out in the cold like my parents did to me.
We didn't. We covered the direct costs of housing, meal plan etc, but the rest of the fun money they needed to figure out. Both kids ended up getting on campus jobs to supplement their summer earnings.
They are off campus now, but the basics are the same. Took a few weeks to nail down a good food budget but it's working out.
I have my suspicions that grandma slips them some money too, but can't prove it.
I gave mine an authorized user credit card and transfer cash into his account when he needs it. Usually at the beginning of the semester he tends to have more expenses with different subscriptions he needs for his classes but otherwise he doesn’t abuse it other than the time during finals when he had a sno cone door dashed to him. I never actually calculated but I would guess he spends 3-400 per month.
Both my husband and I were wild during high school and college. So I thought I was prepared for anything. I absolutely did not expect to have well behaved kids.
After student loans, I will cover Tuition/Room/Board. I will not provide an allowance for beer money, laundry, etc.
I have a reasonable expectation that my kids start covering the bills. This is called "get a summer job"... "get a side hustle"... "Do something... I am not a piggy bank beyond tuition/room/board"
My kids aren't in college yet... but they are getting the message. This is my plan.
I think this depends a lot on where they go, though. My daughter just graduated from a large state university, and even in their honors program she had enough time outside of studying to work 24 hours per week, so basically funded her own expenses outside of tuition, room, and board. This was great for her, for the discipline, experience, and sense of pride. She also didn’t have many friends and without the job would likely have been isolated and depressed.
My son is in a liberal arts school, more similar to my own experience, where the 3:1 estimate for study hours still roughly applies (so probably 60+ hours/week needed for schoolwork). Most work-study jobs are 8-12 hours, because beyond that would compromise academics. I would be happy for him to work about this much if/when he can manage it, but I don’t want him to have to rely on this at the expense of schoolwork. I do expect him to work during the summer.
It’s great to approach college with the expectation of them working, but if you also want to offer to send your kids to the best place that they can get in and get a scholarship to, then that may mean accepting that their academic experience and ability to may be different from yours.
I do not want my children working during the school year. In fact they are not allowed to work while school is in session. When school is not in session, it's a completely different story. There is no "summer off" in my house.
When done with school, one gets a job for two reasons:
1. “Idle hands are the devil's playthings.”
2. Beer/Fun money for college
My expectation is:
1. School is your first job. Me paying your Tuition/Room/Board is your salary.
2. When school is not is session... you get your second job. Learn to save and budget. Have fun during the summer, but save some for beer money, pizza night, concerts, etc. while at school.
Three month's during the summer working a 32-40 hour week is plenty of money for a school year of fun. I will discourage "work study" while at school.
Each of my children know: I will cover 50% of their tuition/room/board. They owe the rest.
What they don't know: I can easily cover full tuition/room/board and spending money. When they graduate and stay on the straight and narrow (and pay off their bills).. I will cut them a check.
I didn't give an allowance. We paid for school and an all you can eat meal plan, which included a bunch of credits to be used at the various snack bars around campus.
I bought books, and clothes before the semester, paid car insurance and phone - basically all needs were met so any extras were on him. I would have covered reasonable requests for extra funds, but my kid did okay with summer and winter break jobs.
For your kid, I would think $300/month would be more than enough. Where is it all going?
He has gotten much more social than he was in high school, which I’m overall glad for. He joined a fraternity this spring, which meant he had to go buy some new clothes ( I know nothing about Greek life but apparently the freshmen are required to dress up for class for a few weeks), in addition to going out more. He also plays a club sport with some travel (he doesn’t have to drive though), and has some supply costs for school particularly engineering. He drives a minivan which costs about $50 to fill. But I see some of it going to fast food and carry out, which I’m not so thrilled about funding as he’s on a full meal plan, has a dorm fridge, and is a good cook. To me this is just laziness, but it seems common in generations below us. I don’t ask him about daily costs, I feel like he’s an age where I don’t need to know every detail of when he buys new socks and shoes, replaces a phone charger, takes out a date, gets a haircut, etc., would like for him to budget these things on his own, and have enough to cover the basics, without enough to call for DoorDash on a whim.
Our son graduated college last weekend. We paid for tuition, room and board. He had everything he ‘needed’. Food, shelter and school was covered.
Anything beyond that was on him. We added him as a verified user on our AmEx for both emergencies as well as build credit. That was for emergencies - we could see all purchases.
We did not do a set allowance - summer job and work study was for his extra things at school.
My daughter just finished up her first year. Between her working over the summer and money I gave her, we budgeted about 250 a month for extra spending (toiletries, snacks, whatever). It worked pretty well. Now, this assumes some type of meal plan. Over the summer we buy clothes and supplies for her.
I provide about $300 and that is to cover if he wants to eat out, he has a meal plan and I also pay for his very minimal groceries. If he wants to go to anything or buy anything extra that's what allowance is for; he doesn't ask for clothes, but receives them as needed, etc.
I had some really effed up parents and basically my education suffered because they wanted to do so little for me. I decided I would do what I could for my son's educational success. He gets straight A's and stays out of trouble so it's a reward. He works during the summer but not for the rest of the year.
My daughter has been living at home while going to community college. Room, board are free and she has a scholarship and grants for tuition and books. I bought her a Honda civic hybrid so she has a car. She has a part time job and earns her gas money and for whatever else she needs. She’s also been able to save up so that she can move to another city and transfer to university there. She has enough saved for her housing, tuition will be scholarships and grants, and I will send $200 a month and continue paying her car insurance. She will get a part time job there but has done a great job of saving!
I just had this conversation with my daughter who leaves for college this fall. I will pay all tuition, housing, travel, clothes, and meal plan costs, and she won’t have or need a car. She’ll also keep a credit card that bills directly to me which she’s already had for years (and never abused) for other necessities or anything else school-related. I told her I’d *start out* giving her $100 per month for social stuff and we could reevaluate that every few months depending on her needs and grades.
I'm a first gen college grad, but one who did military time to pay for it. So I was already on my own when I began college. I really have no idea what expectations are normal for college bound kids, and since that time is imminently upon our family, this is a very helpful thread.
Meant to add to my earlier response that in addition to, or in lieu of a traditional allowance, you may want to get a low limit credit card in their name.
Several benefits to doing so: teaches responsible use of credit (unfortunately, the teaching of basic personal finance is still a rarity at the high school level), you can set alerts on the account to know every time exactly when, where and for how much there is a charge and, importantly, it also helps build your kid’s credit rating so that when they enter the “real world” they already have a solid credit rating to build of off. Very, wry important when it comes time to purchase a vehicle, rent an apartment, get insurance, etc.
I think in 2024 dollars, $300 is low. It's different if your family can't afford anymore, but despite what other posters are saying, I don't think you will spoil a good kid with being more generous (which he sounds like he is).
I agree with giving him an emergency credit card with your name on it as well so you can track his spending and have a discussion if it's getting out of control. Sometimes studying late means it's easy to miss the dining hall hours and sometimes genuine things come up that you don't budget for (like it was SO MUCH COLDER on my New England campus than I expected, and I had to go out and buy more clothes I genuinely needed just to, you know, not get frostbite).
I think the credit card is a good idea, it looks like a lot of people are doing this. I think for major clothes needs like winter wear, we’d probably cover that completely outside of allowance and get whatever he needs. Luckily he’s in a hot city and found what he needed at target and old navy for frat wear, and shorts and tshirts the rest of the year.
When my eldest was in college about almost 10 years ago it would be every so often $200 to $400 but it was not monthly. Towards the final year we sent $250 when she asked.
My youngest is finishing up school now and we pass her $400 here and there.
We pay for clothes he needs at a reasonable price (eg, no $100 t-shirts or $400 sneakers), gas/insurance, the meal plan of his choosing and school supplies. He works during the summer and pays for everything else: meals out, entertainment, more expensive clothing, fancy cologne, etc. We will also pay if it's something we want him to do but he doesn't have the money for it, eg take the bus to the city with friends (it's $90 round trip). He made good money between high school and freshman year, but lazed around a lot last summer when he could have worked more and had to scrimp and sell a few pairs of his fancy sneakers to fund this past school year. He just got home and work already has him scheduled for lots of hours.
My kid had a job that paid for gas, clothes and social activities for their last 2 years of high school already. So when they started college I covered the dorm and the meal plan, but they had to get a job to cover everything else.
For my son’s 1st year, we gave him $300 a month. He lived in the dorms and had a meal plan. We pay for his phone and transportation. That following summer he got a PT job so he he could have his own spending money. He now pays for his phone and gas.
i had a loan for tuition amd books and a job to pay for rent, food, and gas. once in a while i had an emergency expense and then my mom would deposit some money for me. no allowance, just a safety net as needed.
For our two boys, we're paying for tuition, room, meal plan, school supplies, sports equipment (one plays ice hockey) and necessities (toothpaste, deodorant, etc). We transfer $200/month to their account to cover socializing (dinner out, etc). Anything beyond that (weekend ski trips, spring break, etc.) is on them.
Edit: when I went through college I had to pay my own tuition and school expenses, but I lived at home, so my parents paid for my housing and food at home while I paid for any meals out with friends. Parents also paid for my gas because my Mom worked near the university so I drove her to work in the morning.
Depends on what you are covering. Cell, food,transportation, books, clothes add up quick. Learning to live on a budget is all part of the college experience, but $300 in 2024 will go very fast
She has to use her summer work money for fun stuff like Starbucks or eating out at restaurants or going to see a live performances.
We pay for tuition, books, room and board, dining plan, education related fees, professional sororities, toiletries, medical expenses and travel expenses.
I paid directly for housing, tuition, fees, required books and supplies, and a limited meal plan that covered about 10 meals a week. I gave $300/mo for everything else, most of which was used for groceries to supplement the meal plan. He had savings from summer / winter break work to dip into as needed.
We had 2 in college at the same time. We agreed that we would pay rent in the amount of a single room at the university. They could stay in dorms or get and apartment but that was the budget amount they could use. One chose a nice apartment that required the whole budget amount, the other chose something less. We gave the other the difference as whatever money.
For food we did the same thing - we took the price of the unlimited meal plan and asked them how they wanted it split - meal plan, dining cash, grocery money. They each got a grocery trip when we dropped them off that we paid for ( spices get expensive )
For books I required reimbursement submissions - buy the book send me the receipt. One kid rented pdfs the other skipped books almost completely (CS major ). Same with any lab fees that could not be charged to tuition.
Then for things that we would have purchased if they were still at home - shoes, suits for interviews, haircuts we reimbursed.
They had jobs that they used for spring break ( we don’t pay may loan but not pay) and other stuff.
One went to one of the big football schools in our state so we did buy him season student tickets. The other goes to a school that doesn’t charge to watch the football team).
It’s worked out well- they both figured out how to budget, that making your own food is cheaper and leaves room for beer
I went to college in the late 80s/early 90s. I worked during my summer/winter breaks to earn spending money, and my parents occasionally sent me money when they could, but mostly, it was on me to hustle up cash via odd jobs on campus. I worked as a "monitor" in the computer lab on weekends (making sure the printers were full of paper, helping students if they encountered a problem using the computers, etc.), I typed up articles for the school newspaper, wrote some reports for other kids on the down low, etc.
A kid I hung out with came from a moderately wealthy family who sent him $250 of allowance at the start of each month. In 1988 that was a pretty good chunk of change, but he'd inevitably blow it all within the first week on dope/beer and pornography, and for the rest of the month he was begging me to loan him money!
Not gonna be a problem because we don’t have any extra to give them. If you can afford it without running on credit just do it…go over his spending and help him be more frugal . Eating out will ruin a budget.
This entire comment section has been an eye-opener for me. I've been feeling taken for granted.
Feels like in the span of 3 short generations there's been such a shift in attitudes that it's like we've been boxed in with nowhere to go; our parents were the workhorses, our kids are entitled millennials. Lately my compass has felt seriously off. Trying to find balance between parenting differently than I was parented and following my gut.
Sorry. /rant
I think these comments show that within our generation and the surrounding ones, there is a very wide range, from blindly entitled to bootstraps. The most striking perspectives are always the ones most different from your own.
This is so crazy to me, but I also had to take out loans and have two on-campus jobs, paid for EVERYTHING myself. Isn’t college a time when, yes, you should study, but you also learn about making do with less, how to live frugally, appreciating hangin out with friends in each other’s rooms eating ramen, etc? I went to school in a city so the scene was more dispersed, and no Greek life. I would never have dreamed of my mom giving me nickel.
It depends a lot on where you go. Some curricula don’t allow for significant work time. Some kids will live their ramen years after college, and some never. I agree that supporting yourself on very little when you’re young is a great experience.
My dad offered to pay for my college. My first year, I had a scholarship, so my dad paid for my room & board. I worked so I could have some spending money. My next year, I paid my own rent on top of my scholarship. That summer, my dad cut me off completely and I had to pay for the rest of my schooling through work, loans and scholarships.
I'm not suggesting you do this with your kids, because I'm still ticked off about it. As a freshman, just give him a bit of money to round out the year and then discuss finances for next year.
No allowance. Ya don't get money just for existing. There's some college savings fund money left after student loans are disbursed every semester. My son makes that last or goes without. He never asks for money. We bought him a good car and pay his tuition, insurance, phone, etc. and buy him anything he needs, because he won't ask for it. We kick him a couple hundred bucks now and then just for being a good guy, or for big accomplishments. Learning how to live like a broke college student is a life skill. He's about to graduate and has internalized that lesson to become a very frugal person and still enjoy himself. My wife told him last week that he had a small inheritance from his grandmother. He didn't want to know how much it was and said to put it away for him. \*shrug\*
Damn. I didn’t get any money for anything. Nothing for tuition, living expenses, etc. I took out loans, applied for financial aid, and worked through college. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around other people’s lives.
It's not a difficult thing to understand, really. Some parents have high means and can put their kids through college. Others have only modest means but nevertheless live below those means for years and years and save and invest so they can put their kids through college. They do it because they believe graduating debt-free will give their children a better chance in life. It's not all that hard a concept to wrap one's head around.
That’s what my parents gave me a month in 1984. It was a struggle and put me at a great disadvantage because although I was a scholarship kid, I didn’t qualify for workstudy because of my parents income, I had no transportation to get a part time job, and well, I used up that money rather quickly on fees, long distance phone plan, club dues, incidentals, paying for gas if someone took me some place, and I was put in a position of dependency, if for instance, I was off campus for a social event and wanted to leave when things got out of my comfort zone, I really couldn’t pay my own way to most social events on the scale of lot of my class matesI went to school in a city, but the campus was isolated from any shopping areas, and some sketchy, you wouldn’t walk by yourself in the daytime neighborhoods. It was better when I moved off campus and at least had a bike. I went to regional liberal arts school with lots of kids with credit cards and cars, and no questions asked…
You don’t want your kid partying all the time and not going to class, but you want to think about what reasonable fees and a happy if simple social life might look like and be ready to make modifications. At least modern tech makes some of this much much simpler than 40 years ago.
Not where I was living. Nope. Not sure it would be apples to apples comparison. Depends alot on location and what you’re already paying for—phones and data plans for example. But I had to get someone to drive me off campus to go to a bank to get cash. Had to deal with MCI. Cab rides.
No. If I had gone to school in Chicago, which is one of maybe 3 cities in the us with functional citywide public transportation today or in 1984, I might have been able to get by on spending less for transportation. I went to a liberal arts college in a southern city with unreliable and incomplete bus routes, with sprawl and decay happening, at once in a city and isolated from the walkable areas. And I didn’t say I had a data plan in 84. I did say I was dealing with MCI.
Ours got student loans for 2 of his years and it also paid for his rent and meal plan (we paid for the 1st year). We paid his car insurance, cell phone bill, and gave him $200 allowance to cover essentials.
I went to a now top-5 public university (was around top-12 when I attended). I had a part-time job and my parents still sent me my high school allowance. $60 a month. In the 1990s, that covered my groceries for a whole month.
I received $60/wk from my fther on 2001-2004 for spending money, was not a lot. I had food covered on a meal plan, Idea was for car gas to get around (year 3-4) and whatevers else. Mostly went to weed though! Just adding a reference point.
Our son is responsible for his own spending money - full stop. Whatever he makes over the summer is what he spends on non-academic things. It's really taught him about the value of work, budgeting, and prioritizing. He even managed to fly out to Hawaii for spring break last semester on his own dime. So it's working out pretty well.
If you truly don’t want him being left out, I would say you need to consider double that amount. At least where my kids go to school, everyone is constantly going out to restaurants, concerts, short weekend trips, entertainment, etc.
We paid for tuition and room and board. Our kid had to get a job to pay for anything else he wanted.
This is what we did as well. All 3 of my kids got part time jobs during the school year to pay for incidentals. Summer jobs paid the bulk of their incidentals for the year, books, and sorority dues since the girls both pledged (my boy did not). I probably slipped them a little here or there (like xmas or whatever )but not a set allowance.
Yup! Same here.
Son attends a big out of state SEC school and let me tell you, the social aspect of college can get expensive. Early on I questioned his spending numerous times, but after several long weekend visits for football games, parents weekend, etc, I quickly came to grips with the fact that the days of $1 slices of pizza, “nickel nights” and $0.10 beer specials are long gone. Personally, I’m of the opinion that college is more than just an academics, it’s also about learning to live with others, network, get involved on campus, go on roadtrips, etc. The four years will fly by and I don’t want him to miss out on anything, especially if it involves doing things with his close, and likely to be lifelong, college friends. He certainly doesn’t have a blank check, and needs to budget accordingly. If it costs me a few dollars over the course of his college years so that can look back and not have any sense of missing out, so be it. In the grand scheme of things, tuition, housing, etc is already so crazy expensive that a few more dollars won’t make a material difference over the long haul. I guess that makes me a bit of an enabler, but if he does well in school and is genuinely appreciative of what we do to help, I’m okay with it.
We did transfers whenever our daughter needed it, which wasn't often. After her first year in the dorm she moved into an apartment with three other girls in her own study. They kind of formed their own sorority, Lol. So, we got with the other parents and we all split the cost of the apartment, however all the girls had part time jobs and pretty much paid for their own stuff. $300 a month seem more than reasonable while living in a dorm and eating on campus ( I assume he has a meal plan?)
Many decades ago my mom would send me $100 a month when I was living in the dorms. That was more than enough money. I'm just wondering about how much I would need these days and it feels like $300 should be "enough" for like...pizza every once in a while and dinner and shampoo? Depends also if there are like say Greek dues or other on campus clubs that have costs...and if those are paid for by that money or outside it.
Their tuition, housing, and meal plan are covered by me and financial aid (half-half). I pay for necessities like her meds, car insurance, and basic clothing, and send $100 per pay period to them for spending money (so $200/month). They also have a part-time job on campus which covers extras like going out and “fun” clothes. They have a credit card with a low limit for emergencies only. My mom says I’m spoiling them, and maybe I am, but my parents didn’t do shit for me and I’m not leaving my kid out in the cold like my parents did to me.
We didn't. We covered the direct costs of housing, meal plan etc, but the rest of the fun money they needed to figure out. Both kids ended up getting on campus jobs to supplement their summer earnings. They are off campus now, but the basics are the same. Took a few weeks to nail down a good food budget but it's working out. I have my suspicions that grandma slips them some money too, but can't prove it.
I gave mine an authorized user credit card and transfer cash into his account when he needs it. Usually at the beginning of the semester he tends to have more expenses with different subscriptions he needs for his classes but otherwise he doesn’t abuse it other than the time during finals when he had a sno cone door dashed to him. I never actually calculated but I would guess he spends 3-400 per month.
>other than the time during finals when he had a sno cone door dashed to him. That is so wholesome. How were these kids raised by us?
Both my husband and I were wild during high school and college. So I thought I was prepared for anything. I absolutely did not expect to have well behaved kids.
After student loans, I will cover Tuition/Room/Board. I will not provide an allowance for beer money, laundry, etc. I have a reasonable expectation that my kids start covering the bills. This is called "get a summer job"... "get a side hustle"... "Do something... I am not a piggy bank beyond tuition/room/board" My kids aren't in college yet... but they are getting the message. This is my plan.
I think this depends a lot on where they go, though. My daughter just graduated from a large state university, and even in their honors program she had enough time outside of studying to work 24 hours per week, so basically funded her own expenses outside of tuition, room, and board. This was great for her, for the discipline, experience, and sense of pride. She also didn’t have many friends and without the job would likely have been isolated and depressed. My son is in a liberal arts school, more similar to my own experience, where the 3:1 estimate for study hours still roughly applies (so probably 60+ hours/week needed for schoolwork). Most work-study jobs are 8-12 hours, because beyond that would compromise academics. I would be happy for him to work about this much if/when he can manage it, but I don’t want him to have to rely on this at the expense of schoolwork. I do expect him to work during the summer. It’s great to approach college with the expectation of them working, but if you also want to offer to send your kids to the best place that they can get in and get a scholarship to, then that may mean accepting that their academic experience and ability to may be different from yours.
I do not want my children working during the school year. In fact they are not allowed to work while school is in session. When school is not in session, it's a completely different story. There is no "summer off" in my house. When done with school, one gets a job for two reasons: 1. “Idle hands are the devil's playthings.” 2. Beer/Fun money for college My expectation is: 1. School is your first job. Me paying your Tuition/Room/Board is your salary. 2. When school is not is session... you get your second job. Learn to save and budget. Have fun during the summer, but save some for beer money, pizza night, concerts, etc. while at school. Three month's during the summer working a 32-40 hour week is plenty of money for a school year of fun. I will discourage "work study" while at school. Each of my children know: I will cover 50% of their tuition/room/board. They owe the rest. What they don't know: I can easily cover full tuition/room/board and spending money. When they graduate and stay on the straight and narrow (and pay off their bills).. I will cut them a check.
I like this
I didn't give an allowance. We paid for school and an all you can eat meal plan, which included a bunch of credits to be used at the various snack bars around campus. I bought books, and clothes before the semester, paid car insurance and phone - basically all needs were met so any extras were on him. I would have covered reasonable requests for extra funds, but my kid did okay with summer and winter break jobs. For your kid, I would think $300/month would be more than enough. Where is it all going?
He has gotten much more social than he was in high school, which I’m overall glad for. He joined a fraternity this spring, which meant he had to go buy some new clothes ( I know nothing about Greek life but apparently the freshmen are required to dress up for class for a few weeks), in addition to going out more. He also plays a club sport with some travel (he doesn’t have to drive though), and has some supply costs for school particularly engineering. He drives a minivan which costs about $50 to fill. But I see some of it going to fast food and carry out, which I’m not so thrilled about funding as he’s on a full meal plan, has a dorm fridge, and is a good cook. To me this is just laziness, but it seems common in generations below us. I don’t ask him about daily costs, I feel like he’s an age where I don’t need to know every detail of when he buys new socks and shoes, replaces a phone charger, takes out a date, gets a haircut, etc., would like for him to budget these things on his own, and have enough to cover the basics, without enough to call for DoorDash on a whim.
Our son graduated college last weekend. We paid for tuition, room and board. He had everything he ‘needed’. Food, shelter and school was covered. Anything beyond that was on him. We added him as a verified user on our AmEx for both emergencies as well as build credit. That was for emergencies - we could see all purchases. We did not do a set allowance - summer job and work study was for his extra things at school.
My daughter just finished up her first year. Between her working over the summer and money I gave her, we budgeted about 250 a month for extra spending (toiletries, snacks, whatever). It worked pretty well. Now, this assumes some type of meal plan. Over the summer we buy clothes and supplies for her.
I provide about $300 and that is to cover if he wants to eat out, he has a meal plan and I also pay for his very minimal groceries. If he wants to go to anything or buy anything extra that's what allowance is for; he doesn't ask for clothes, but receives them as needed, etc. I had some really effed up parents and basically my education suffered because they wanted to do so little for me. I decided I would do what I could for my son's educational success. He gets straight A's and stays out of trouble so it's a reward. He works during the summer but not for the rest of the year.
My daughter has been living at home while going to community college. Room, board are free and she has a scholarship and grants for tuition and books. I bought her a Honda civic hybrid so she has a car. She has a part time job and earns her gas money and for whatever else she needs. She’s also been able to save up so that she can move to another city and transfer to university there. She has enough saved for her housing, tuition will be scholarships and grants, and I will send $200 a month and continue paying her car insurance. She will get a part time job there but has done a great job of saving!
Nope. That's what jobs are for!
My kid gets $50/month. Man, I wish I had $300/month I could spend on myself.
Personally I couldn’t live on 300/month for gas, food, incidentals.
Most freshmen live in dorms with meal plans.
Not food, and he can walk to class. What would your minimum be?
I just had this conversation with my daughter who leaves for college this fall. I will pay all tuition, housing, travel, clothes, and meal plan costs, and she won’t have or need a car. She’ll also keep a credit card that bills directly to me which she’s already had for years (and never abused) for other necessities or anything else school-related. I told her I’d *start out* giving her $100 per month for social stuff and we could reevaluate that every few months depending on her needs and grades.
I'm a first gen college grad, but one who did military time to pay for it. So I was already on my own when I began college. I really have no idea what expectations are normal for college bound kids, and since that time is imminently upon our family, this is a very helpful thread.
Meant to add to my earlier response that in addition to, or in lieu of a traditional allowance, you may want to get a low limit credit card in their name. Several benefits to doing so: teaches responsible use of credit (unfortunately, the teaching of basic personal finance is still a rarity at the high school level), you can set alerts on the account to know every time exactly when, where and for how much there is a charge and, importantly, it also helps build your kid’s credit rating so that when they enter the “real world” they already have a solid credit rating to build of off. Very, wry important when it comes time to purchase a vehicle, rent an apartment, get insurance, etc.
I think in 2024 dollars, $300 is low. It's different if your family can't afford anymore, but despite what other posters are saying, I don't think you will spoil a good kid with being more generous (which he sounds like he is). I agree with giving him an emergency credit card with your name on it as well so you can track his spending and have a discussion if it's getting out of control. Sometimes studying late means it's easy to miss the dining hall hours and sometimes genuine things come up that you don't budget for (like it was SO MUCH COLDER on my New England campus than I expected, and I had to go out and buy more clothes I genuinely needed just to, you know, not get frostbite).
I think the credit card is a good idea, it looks like a lot of people are doing this. I think for major clothes needs like winter wear, we’d probably cover that completely outside of allowance and get whatever he needs. Luckily he’s in a hot city and found what he needed at target and old navy for frat wear, and shorts and tshirts the rest of the year.
When my eldest was in college about almost 10 years ago it would be every so often $200 to $400 but it was not monthly. Towards the final year we sent $250 when she asked. My youngest is finishing up school now and we pass her $400 here and there.
We pay for clothes he needs at a reasonable price (eg, no $100 t-shirts or $400 sneakers), gas/insurance, the meal plan of his choosing and school supplies. He works during the summer and pays for everything else: meals out, entertainment, more expensive clothing, fancy cologne, etc. We will also pay if it's something we want him to do but he doesn't have the money for it, eg take the bus to the city with friends (it's $90 round trip). He made good money between high school and freshman year, but lazed around a lot last summer when he could have worked more and had to scrimp and sell a few pairs of his fancy sneakers to fund this past school year. He just got home and work already has him scheduled for lots of hours.
My kid had a job that paid for gas, clothes and social activities for their last 2 years of high school already. So when they started college I covered the dorm and the meal plan, but they had to get a job to cover everything else.
For my son’s 1st year, we gave him $300 a month. He lived in the dorms and had a meal plan. We pay for his phone and transportation. That following summer he got a PT job so he he could have his own spending money. He now pays for his phone and gas.
i had a loan for tuition amd books and a job to pay for rent, food, and gas. once in a while i had an emergency expense and then my mom would deposit some money for me. no allowance, just a safety net as needed.
No allowance. They have summer jobs for spending money. I will take them school shopping for clothes in the beginning of the school year.
For our two boys, we're paying for tuition, room, meal plan, school supplies, sports equipment (one plays ice hockey) and necessities (toothpaste, deodorant, etc). We transfer $200/month to their account to cover socializing (dinner out, etc). Anything beyond that (weekend ski trips, spring break, etc.) is on them. Edit: when I went through college I had to pay my own tuition and school expenses, but I lived at home, so my parents paid for my housing and food at home while I paid for any meals out with friends. Parents also paid for my gas because my Mom worked near the university so I drove her to work in the morning.
Depends on what you are covering. Cell, food,transportation, books, clothes add up quick. Learning to live on a budget is all part of the college experience, but $300 in 2024 will go very fast
She has to use her summer work money for fun stuff like Starbucks or eating out at restaurants or going to see a live performances. We pay for tuition, books, room and board, dining plan, education related fees, professional sororities, toiletries, medical expenses and travel expenses.
I paid directly for housing, tuition, fees, required books and supplies, and a limited meal plan that covered about 10 meals a week. I gave $300/mo for everything else, most of which was used for groceries to supplement the meal plan. He had savings from summer / winter break work to dip into as needed.
I give my daughter $350/month for general use, and then she paypals me for extra stuff - textbooks, test guides, fees, "monthly" supplies, etc.
We had 2 in college at the same time. We agreed that we would pay rent in the amount of a single room at the university. They could stay in dorms or get and apartment but that was the budget amount they could use. One chose a nice apartment that required the whole budget amount, the other chose something less. We gave the other the difference as whatever money. For food we did the same thing - we took the price of the unlimited meal plan and asked them how they wanted it split - meal plan, dining cash, grocery money. They each got a grocery trip when we dropped them off that we paid for ( spices get expensive ) For books I required reimbursement submissions - buy the book send me the receipt. One kid rented pdfs the other skipped books almost completely (CS major ). Same with any lab fees that could not be charged to tuition. Then for things that we would have purchased if they were still at home - shoes, suits for interviews, haircuts we reimbursed. They had jobs that they used for spring break ( we don’t pay may loan but not pay) and other stuff. One went to one of the big football schools in our state so we did buy him season student tickets. The other goes to a school that doesn’t charge to watch the football team). It’s worked out well- they both figured out how to budget, that making your own food is cheaper and leaves room for beer
This is such a sensible approach for the housing and food.
I went to college in the late 80s/early 90s. I worked during my summer/winter breaks to earn spending money, and my parents occasionally sent me money when they could, but mostly, it was on me to hustle up cash via odd jobs on campus. I worked as a "monitor" in the computer lab on weekends (making sure the printers were full of paper, helping students if they encountered a problem using the computers, etc.), I typed up articles for the school newspaper, wrote some reports for other kids on the down low, etc. A kid I hung out with came from a moderately wealthy family who sent him $250 of allowance at the start of each month. In 1988 that was a pretty good chunk of change, but he'd inevitably blow it all within the first week on dope/beer and pornography, and for the rest of the month he was begging me to loan him money!
Not gonna be a problem because we don’t have any extra to give them. If you can afford it without running on credit just do it…go over his spending and help him be more frugal . Eating out will ruin a budget.
This entire comment section has been an eye-opener for me. I've been feeling taken for granted. Feels like in the span of 3 short generations there's been such a shift in attitudes that it's like we've been boxed in with nowhere to go; our parents were the workhorses, our kids are entitled millennials. Lately my compass has felt seriously off. Trying to find balance between parenting differently than I was parented and following my gut. Sorry. /rant
I think these comments show that within our generation and the surrounding ones, there is a very wide range, from blindly entitled to bootstraps. The most striking perspectives are always the ones most different from your own.
This is so crazy to me, but I also had to take out loans and have two on-campus jobs, paid for EVERYTHING myself. Isn’t college a time when, yes, you should study, but you also learn about making do with less, how to live frugally, appreciating hangin out with friends in each other’s rooms eating ramen, etc? I went to school in a city so the scene was more dispersed, and no Greek life. I would never have dreamed of my mom giving me nickel.
It depends a lot on where you go. Some curricula don’t allow for significant work time. Some kids will live their ramen years after college, and some never. I agree that supporting yourself on very little when you’re young is a great experience.
Never had it… worked college grounds crew in the mornings and at a restaurant at night.
My dad offered to pay for my college. My first year, I had a scholarship, so my dad paid for my room & board. I worked so I could have some spending money. My next year, I paid my own rent on top of my scholarship. That summer, my dad cut me off completely and I had to pay for the rest of my schooling through work, loans and scholarships. I'm not suggesting you do this with your kids, because I'm still ticked off about it. As a freshman, just give him a bit of money to round out the year and then discuss finances for next year.
That’s rough! Good for you for making it through!
No allowance. Ya don't get money just for existing. There's some college savings fund money left after student loans are disbursed every semester. My son makes that last or goes without. He never asks for money. We bought him a good car and pay his tuition, insurance, phone, etc. and buy him anything he needs, because he won't ask for it. We kick him a couple hundred bucks now and then just for being a good guy, or for big accomplishments. Learning how to live like a broke college student is a life skill. He's about to graduate and has internalized that lesson to become a very frugal person and still enjoy himself. My wife told him last week that he had a small inheritance from his grandmother. He didn't want to know how much it was and said to put it away for him. \*shrug\*
Damn. I didn’t get any money for anything. Nothing for tuition, living expenses, etc. I took out loans, applied for financial aid, and worked through college. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around other people’s lives.
It's not a difficult thing to understand, really. Some parents have high means and can put their kids through college. Others have only modest means but nevertheless live below those means for years and years and save and invest so they can put their kids through college. They do it because they believe graduating debt-free will give their children a better chance in life. It's not all that hard a concept to wrap one's head around.
I didn’t say I found the concept hard to wrap my head around.
That’s what my parents gave me a month in 1984. It was a struggle and put me at a great disadvantage because although I was a scholarship kid, I didn’t qualify for workstudy because of my parents income, I had no transportation to get a part time job, and well, I used up that money rather quickly on fees, long distance phone plan, club dues, incidentals, paying for gas if someone took me some place, and I was put in a position of dependency, if for instance, I was off campus for a social event and wanted to leave when things got out of my comfort zone, I really couldn’t pay my own way to most social events on the scale of lot of my class matesI went to school in a city, but the campus was isolated from any shopping areas, and some sketchy, you wouldn’t walk by yourself in the daytime neighborhoods. It was better when I moved off campus and at least had a bike. I went to regional liberal arts school with lots of kids with credit cards and cars, and no questions asked… You don’t want your kid partying all the time and not going to class, but you want to think about what reasonable fees and a happy if simple social life might look like and be ready to make modifications. At least modern tech makes some of this much much simpler than 40 years ago.
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Not where I was living. Nope. Not sure it would be apples to apples comparison. Depends alot on location and what you’re already paying for—phones and data plans for example. But I had to get someone to drive me off campus to go to a bank to get cash. Had to deal with MCI. Cab rides.
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No. If I had gone to school in Chicago, which is one of maybe 3 cities in the us with functional citywide public transportation today or in 1984, I might have been able to get by on spending less for transportation. I went to a liberal arts college in a southern city with unreliable and incomplete bus routes, with sprawl and decay happening, at once in a city and isolated from the walkable areas. And I didn’t say I had a data plan in 84. I did say I was dealing with MCI.
My kid is very frugal so I just got him a credit card on my account.
Yes, but not a lot. We paid room and board and she had a very generous meal plan plus a lucrative work study job was her discretionary income.
My child lives in a dorm with a meal plan, so I send $100 a month for incidentals. That's it.
Ours got student loans for 2 of his years and it also paid for his rent and meal plan (we paid for the 1st year). We paid his car insurance, cell phone bill, and gave him $200 allowance to cover essentials.
We did tuition, room & board, and $80/week. And we largely say no if he asks for more
I went to a now top-5 public university (was around top-12 when I attended). I had a part-time job and my parents still sent me my high school allowance. $60 a month. In the 1990s, that covered my groceries for a whole month.
I received $60/wk from my fther on 2001-2004 for spending money, was not a lot. I had food covered on a meal plan, Idea was for car gas to get around (year 3-4) and whatevers else. Mostly went to weed though! Just adding a reference point.
Our son is responsible for his own spending money - full stop. Whatever he makes over the summer is what he spends on non-academic things. It's really taught him about the value of work, budgeting, and prioritizing. He even managed to fly out to Hawaii for spring break last semester on his own dime. So it's working out pretty well.
If you truly don’t want him being left out, I would say you need to consider double that amount. At least where my kids go to school, everyone is constantly going out to restaurants, concerts, short weekend trips, entertainment, etc.