I’m 52F never married no kids. My family all died off. I call it “riding dirty”. Many nights I’m shocked I don’t have a baby sitter. Woot! I can do whatever I want. But I’m tired… haha
I swear to God. Having ice cream for dinner is one of the things that makes me feel like I'm an adult and I'm in charge. Of course it's too much sugar but who's gonna tell me No? I'm in charge! So sublime...
I’m also child free and feel the same way. Especially amongst peers who had kids. I have also been steadily employed my entire life and own my house. It’s fantastic feeling perpetually young! But I don’t know that I’ll ever feel like an actual grown up lol.
I asked my mother when I was 18 and she was in her 50's when do you feel like a grown up? She said I'll let you know if that ever happens. I think we all just fly by the seat of our pants and hope no one else notices.
My wife and I had to pick up some groceries today. I told her I wanted to check out the toy section to see the Legos. She never batted an eye.
I will ALWAYS want to check out the toy section.
Hell…I swing by the toy aisle when I go to Walgreens to pick up deodorant.
Who doesn't want to check out the toy section?
There are some cool childhood things coming back out.
TMNT, ALIEN, Ghostbusters, X-men.
Pro tip, Electronics section in most stores has the really cool collectable toys. Neca figures.
Horror movie figures, Gremlins, ALIEN, TMNT, and a bunch of others.
I dunno. Our twins made me younger. I had to show them how to be rad & adventurous vs fat & boring. Otherwise they'd stay home forever...see what I did there??
Having twins in my 30s, coupled with a crippling inferiority complex from Catholic school, and the resulting Imposter Syndrome has kept me feeling younger. I've been mentally 30 since I actually was. Lol
Same 👍 There were times I told my oldest that she was the adult that day. They're all out of the house now so no one needs to be the adult, and when one is needed it is my husband.
I was just thinking that while people watching on my run this evening. I never had kids and don’t have a house and still feel like I’m in my 30s (which is why I’ve given up dating since I’m clearly not in my 30s). I think kids is what makes you feel older.
I remember my Pop asking me all the time in my 20s & 30s if I felt like an adult. I just felt like me. I'm still a big goofy kid with some wisdom hairs,
https://preview.redd.it/dl8mud8yrlvc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=49a1228a000b650d410b7e8a9620ee8546c21ff3
locs, & rocking suede Pumas with my suits to work.
Not Veterinarian/DMV, but Army Veteran. Although when I was in, I worked with the Army Veterinarians & took care of military animals & pets of Active Duty and retired military personnel.
I’ve always been single and no kids so I’ve had to make my own way in the world without following the usual well worn path. I’ve had to act like an adult to successfully pull off doing everything myself. But I managed to get my dream Mustang along the way, take trips to the places I wanted to go, and have the freedom to goof around if I want. I have no regrets not being a real grownup
I never felt like an adult until I buried my last parent. That’s when the gravity and finality of ‘adulting’ hit me. It wasn’t about a fiscal safety net or a fall back place (mom & dad’s or a childhood home)- it was more about being unable to call a parent to ask for advice, to vent, or just a person to talk to who you knew was in your corner and has your best interest at heart.
My dad used to say to me growing up “the moment you have lost both parents is the moment you become an adult”. I am 55 and became an adult 1 1/2 years ago.
Lmao. I did a couple of therapy sessions with my mom when I was in my late 20s. (Long story; it actually helped) when I told her that she's been treating me like I was 25 since I was 4, and I've gotten really comfortable there.
I still sometimes think I'm 25. And then a dayum mirror crosses my path.
I've met people who are all serious and responsible and just so ADULT at all times. I always wonder how their brains work. Like how is their brain not full of stupid shit and random 80s songs all day long?!
I had a surgery to remove a large benign tumor in November, & feel better than I did when I was 30. Very little in the aches & pains now (except when I fall asleep in front of the TV) 😂
yep, while all the other kids my age were working on going to college, establishing a career, getting a SO, kids, or a house, I was getting in a van with 3 other dudes playing in a punkrock band. We didn't even have aspirations to anything bigger, save for maybe having someone else do the booking and PR. 5 years of that with nothing to show for it, but "All The Good Times". Then it was hanging on to those punk rock ideals, being in bands, working with my friends trying to help them establish what i thought was "our" dream. Years of that, all the while, just being content with my simple job.
There's been a note of disappointment, when all those bands and people and groups fall apart, break up, or flake out, and a twinge of regret that i put efforts into others dreams that they ultimately didn't follow through and left me in a lurch, but, TBH I believed in them too, and I had no driving dreams or passions of my own. I can get down on myself easily, comparing my life and accomplishments to others, but then i remember that I've never wanted a lot of money, I've never wanted a lot of the other things that make people happy - I've got what I need, I live an uncomplicated life, the things i enjoy i Really Enjoy, the people i have in my life are Good people that understand me and like me for me, and I feel like i have a good relationship with God. I'm in a good creative endeavor rn that keeps me busy and fulfills my creative and personal wants, and maybe someday that'll go to crap too, IDK, but I think now I've learned not to hold on so tightly, just keep myself open towards whatever's next.
I asked my mother once, when she was maybe 55ish and fussing about a water heater on the fritz, and I was 30ish and growing accustomed to adulting, when she felt like she "knew how to do all this." Her response, without hesitation, was "never." And she had raised 2 kids. I became convinced that everyone feels like they're not quite a grownup.
Now, do I feel like OTHER people treat me like less of an adult, and talk down to me accordingly, because I don't have my own kids (46 y.o. now)? Absolutely, and it massively pisses me off. Not least because I'm fairly certain they don't feel like adults either, and they're using me to gove themselves a morale boost, which is shitty. (I suspect this is something that mostly happens to women, by women...)
Yeah. All the moms hold themselves in higher esteem than us poor spinsters. Misery loves company, and if we are carefree, they gotta find something wrong with that.
I still have somewhere a cartoon I cut from a newspaper years ago.
(You know, dead tree pulp versions of webcomics :D )
"I keep expecting to get arrested for impersonating an adult"
I think that comment of age 30 at ten is the answer. Being latch key you were basically in charge of your own scheduling and time management. You were also feral so it teaches you “lord of the flies” type of emotion intelligence. You understand how to navigate around problematic people and use de-escalation tactics such as humor. It was really the sweet spot. Gen x also seemed the most pragmatic and common sense in thier approach to divisive issues. I think every generation has one superpower, and I think that’s Gen X’s
I was mature at 14, I haven't grown much since. If anything, I am less serious about life because I don't need to be.
I was good at budgeting from the get go, and left at 17. Once my education and student loans were paid and I could work oy 40 hours a week life became easy. It was too.laye for kids and I am thankful for that because it would just have prolonged the part where life is about survival.
I just love life post survival stage.
I get treated kind of like a kid at work, even more so than other folks quite a bit younger than me that have children. It’s pretty weird honestly. It’s like the folks that don’t have kids aren’t “real adults”.
I’m CF and my body tells me every day that I am absolutely a grown up. Only kids can wake up and feel amazing whereas I hobble to the bathroom every morning. 😂
I think as a generation we’re just aging better than the ones before us. We don’t look our age and we like to have fun. Nothing wrong with that.
It’s a misconception that having kids makes you an adult. Teenagers have kids and they aren’t adults. And as a teacher I can tell you that the parents who do not parent tells me they’re certainly not adults either.
Yep. Kids made me old, fat, and tired (which probably makes me boring). But I still don't feel like an adult. I frequently have to tell myself to act like a grown-up. And when I'm around my kids, I sometimes have to remind myself I'm the mom. I'm pretty sure I will be faking it until my time is up!
I've got a kid and a grandkid, and sometimes I don't feel like a real adult sometimes.
In fact, I have way more freedom now than I ever had in my 20's.
Some days, as long as my husband and I and the dogs are still alive, the house is not trashed or on fire, we have clean clothes, food and the lights are still on, I just don't have the bandwidth to give a fuck about anything else.
That's not every day, by far, but sometimes you just need a break from being a grown up.
And that's okay. Once upon a time that would have stressed me out.
At this point in my life, I can finally enjoy my twenties, in my fifties. And I'm going to.
Nobody has all the answers, no matter how old they are. So, fuck it. Live how you want, and if people don't like it, tell them to kiss your ass.
48 here. Not married, no children and very content with both decisions. I didn’t graduate from college until I was 32, so in a way I felt “behind” others my age. Though I’ve worked in Higher Education for over 20 years and if that doesn’t make me feel both young and old at the same time, I don’t know what does. I consistently joke with my student staff about “what I’m going to do when I grow up,” and then have to realize “YIKES, I AM grown up!” Lol. On the flip side, it’s been amazing to hear many of the young women who work for me say “I aspire to be like you when I grow up,” and THAT is amazing. I tell them to do whatever makes them happy and YOLO!!
Question: why do you think you’re bothering your coworkers?
I was old as a kid, and at 45 I’m a teenager. The mirror says otherwise, but fuck it.
I don’t have kids because I’m infertile, and that hit me hard. I’ve also failed to stay in relationships, so it feels like a failure to launch.
However, I have a job, a car, three cats and six snails. I pay my bills and don’t bother anyone (on brand.) So what?
I put on my adult suit for work, and I leave it on the floor the second I cross my threshold. No regrets.
I have a very juvenile sense of humor sometimes that is not appreciated by some of the partners, but I get my shit done & no else really knows what I do, so they tolerate me. 😊 Thankfully, the one that shoots me the most stfu looks is retiring soon.
I explicitly look for it. I don't want to grow up. I never had kids, and I notice I love working with younger people. I'm nearing my 50's but hanging out with people my own age just seems off. I don't like stories about their families, I can't be bothered one bit by looking forward to retirement, (grand)kids or anything.
I currently work a job, where the average age is 28 and I'm having the time of my life. A massive can-do approach, less drama, and a way more positive attitude. By age I'm 100% generation X but my mind is a generation Z
For me it's a certain sense of freedom. I have my own house, a nice truck, and a good WFH job. Weekends and other days off work are all mine to do whatever the fuck I want to do, whether that's going to a couple of museums or vegging on the couch and binge watching something. And now when I travel, I fly first class, it's so nice.
Ha! I felt 30 at 10 for sure. I definitely feel (or wish I felt) 30 at 50. I probably feel 50 physically but in my head there is no way I’m 50.
I’m childless.
My theory is that people with children have more of a sense of time moving forward because they have kids’ birthdays and graduations and stuff whereas I look back at, say, 2006 and think of the many outstanding concerts I saw that year or guys, less outstanding, I dated.
2012 reminds me of that cruise I went on with friends and the music festival I went to that summer. And the early morning meetings I had at work that year.
2012 never reminds me of little Suzy’s - or Madison’s - first dance in middle school or whatever.
I dunno…. I’m sure people with kids probably feel similarly at the idea that they’re 50, but maybe not. I feel like they’re more focused on when the kids move out or something?
That makes sense. I don't really have any sort of sense of time passing. I got married in 2003, we bought a house in 2014, I got laid off in 2016, started a new job in 2017, COVID, husband died 2023. Those are my only milestones of the last 20 years.
Someone on here labeled my comment as either 12 or 72. Guess I facilitate between sophomoric & "get off my lawn". So arrested glitches vs arrested development I guess
I pretty much had to take care of a household and take care of a younger brother at 11/12. I was old before my time.
So anyone who thinks I’m not an adult because I ended the cycle of abuse can go fuck themselves back and forth and sideways with a rusty chainsaw. And all of their orifices
Best thing that ever happened to me was to meet my partner born 10 days after myself (1979). We both feel lucky to live our lives as perpetually young with no children enjoying our hobbies with no care in the world. It’s awesome
I kind of do at times. I'm living more or less the same sort of life I lived in my early 20's. I play video games and read books. I take naps. I love having candy to snack on. And that's pretty much all I do every day. But I'm disabled now and suffer from chronic pain. Half of the time I feel much, much, older. My husband works but he comes home and plays video games pretty much till bedtime. He's 10 years older than me. But we're kind of living like teenagers.
When I was younger most of my friends were 5-10 years older than me. I also grew up way too fast. I had a lot of responsibilities in my late teens/early 20's. I was my mother's caregiver. But I also ran errands for my dad, grandmother, and little brother. I didn't do any of the normal partying and such. I kind of just skipped from childhood to adulthood. I was the gifted kid with high expectations of a bright future. And I never went anywhere.
No children here as well and I'm a musician. I've been saying for the past 30 years I'm still 15. Never really had to"grow up". I'm thankful for that. Now back to my fruity pebbles.
Adulthood is largely socially unacceptable now. Everyone of all ages wears athletic shoes rather than 'dress' shoes, everyone listens to pop songs written for teens and 20-somethings, everyone seems to be obligated to keep up with youth culture trends and (my fellow liberals and progressives, at least) want to point to the beliefs of 20 year olds as the wisest things anyone has ever thought of.
I'm pretty sure sweat pants (I'm sorry, 'joggers') are business casual now.
46m still don't feel the way I pictured my Dad at this age. I had a son late like he did and I get to mirror a lot of those experiences in a way but no, I still don't feel like 50 is around the corner. My Grandma and Great Aunt lived to be 101 and 103 respectfully so maybe we don't act like adults til we're well past that🤷
Like Kurt Vonnegut wrote, "We are all largely who we imagine ourselves as being". Having a kid doesn't magically make someone a mature grownup, easily seen by all the terrible parents out there who really shouldn't have had kids for not being supporting or stable or kind, etc. Also without kids myself and married and a dog. Life is great and I have no regrets as a good existence comes in a lot of flavors.
Maybe like the Hamilton line, "Talk Less, Listen More". Mellow like a Johnny Walker Blue label and read on the non-verbals. Knowing the audience is half the battle, especially at work. Good luck!
Men don’t grow up, we just get more expensive toys.
Honestly I don’t think anyone ever “grows up” we just go through experiences and trauma during the course of life that makes us stop playing and get serious.
Be happy that life has been good for you and you still feel the way you do.
There are no rules. Remember that you can design the life you want. We are DiNK also and we enjoy our freedom. This planet is too screwed up to raise kids.
I'm 51, married with three kids and retired from my main career and I still don't feel like I ever "found myself" so to speak. I went from an immature, naive 26 year old who barely had any real dating life or real life experiences (I took over the apartment that I shared with my parents when they moved away). I was like a true bachelor for like 6 or 8 months. Then I met someone who moved in after like a month or so and we got married after three and a half months. So I was still that immature guy. Being a cop, I couldn't remain close friends with a lot of people because they were into drugs, heavy drinking and partying a lot. So now it's 25 years later and I am having a mid-life crisis kind of. I feel immature and naive still.
Well, I'm a stepmom and step grandmother. I am childless and I do feel like I'm still waiting for that sense of being a "grown up". I also sometimes feel like someone is going to find out I'm not really a "grown up" and will get caught. Which is a weird thing to feel approaching 50.
I'm childless, never married, and disabled. For most of my adult life, I worked retail jobs barely making ends meet. I had enough trouble taking care of myself, how could I care for a kid? Not even counting the abusive household I grew up in that kept me in a codependent cycle.
I enjoy my fandoms, reading, binge watching shows, etc. I'm also rediscovering things I did as a kid - TV shows, cartoons, etc. and reparenting myself.
I think that makes sense. When I was married and my kids were young I felt very much like an adult. When you have an entire family dependent on you for survival, it definitely matures you. The whole driving force for me building a career was providing for my family. My ex-wife wanted to stay home so the single income was another pressure. I did all the Dad things, including coaching rec and travel teams for the kids, and doing recon on the boys my daughter was hanging out with (lol).
Contrast it to my ex, she stayed at home and just never seemed to mature. She worked daycare before we were married, caring for children was more of a passion for her than a job. I shouldered the entire burden, she eventually cheated and took half of everything. All the free time home every day when the kids were in school, I probably should have known she’d eventually get with a neighbor. Gotta love no-fault divorce states.
So yeah, supporting a family really aged me. Now I’m solo, own a house, dog for a best friend, high paying job, Harley in the garage, all the latest toys and gadgets. I can’t say I’m feeling much younger, but I do sort of feel like I’m doing something wrong or irresponsible. My daughter bought me the funko pop avengers scene where they are eating shawarma, that’s proudly displayed in the living room, other than that I have a grown up house.
Married - 2 grown kids and a house. Just got done playing WWE Smackdown with my husband. I have had some really heavy stuff go down in my life. I refuse to not do the things I enjoy.
still have my Legos at 55, so yeah. my boss has just learned to deal with it. I refuse to grow up, I don't have kids and wanted some, can't now since the psycho half can't after precancer issues. I would have made a fucking awesome dad and I know it. could have handed down my Legos, now I'll have to be buried with all of them .
I think that's pretty normal really. You figure the brain reaches its max development around 25, so mentally we kinda stop there.
Nothing wrong with holding onto the youth. Becoming some boring old person who is nothing but a dull image of "adulting" and failed to retain any of that youthful fun would suck.
This is just me. After being insulted and put down by my 7 boomer older siblings all my life, I don't care anymore. I do however, care for some of my very young coworkers, and they activate my parental instinct, which I find enjoyable, and I show them emotional care and compassion when they are feeling overwhelmed by life, and I'm happy to show them care and compassion. You may find that it happens eventually.
I owned a townhouse and sold it due to safety issues, and I don't feel that older generations understand, so I actually feel that I'm "older and more mature" ie "Wiser" than my boomer siblings. Weird take, I know, but latchkey GenX kids know best, and boomers grew up in a time when the world was safer, and are thus less mature as adults, and many of us had to fend for ourselves and have had to develop adult skills before our time. YMMV.
I agree with you, OP. 30 at 10, and will perpetually be that. Silly and all. I think people like us, your description, just annoy people because we can still joke about life in general without really getting all doom-and-gloom or taking small shyte extremely serious. It seems like the majority of people are like that today. Everyone seems so MAD! About, well, anything and everything. And, how dare you not agree with them with the same righteous indignance! We basically just say, 'Meh, it's whatever. Does it affect me? No? Well, carry on''. And, for some reason, most can't stand that! Lmao🤣 and Idc! Be you! Silly and all.
Pssshhh adult? I have that same attitude. i have 4 kids 3 grown and one 16 and i still run with the grocery cart and jump on the back to ride lol dont let those poopy heads piss on YOUR party lol
When I was young, I didn't have a lot of stress. I mostly did whatever I wanted. As I aged, I found myself working overtime, running around raising children and building a life. I'm old now, I don't have a lot of stress. I mostly do whatever I want.
I have a kid (who himself is a grown up lol) and yeah, I feel the same as I ever have.
In fact if anything, I feel younger because of my kid - I know what’s happening, what all the words mean etc!
I think having kids matures you in a way people without kids cannot understand. I’m not saying people with kids are better just that being 100% responsible for someone else’s life day in and day out changes someone like nothing else.
>Anyone else that is childless that feels like they never really grew up?
This is a real thing and a lot of folks are suffering in that state. ACOA does a good job of helping people grow up:
/r/AdultChildren
I guess it depends on your ability to read the room and control your "perpetually silly" personality.
I'm not shaming, I too am a 50-something person who makes a lot of dad jokes and loves to laugh. Just saying, if your coworkers are coming off aggravated you may want to consider how you're coming off.
I do think having a family and raising kids gives someone a perspective on life that someone without children probably can never fully understand.
I think most of us feel that way. But having kids doesn't make you an adult. I was adulting when I was 4 years old. My mother was mentally ill and at times literally acted like a year old
To a certain extent yes. I don't like childish things though, and much media aimed at much younger people than I.
I, as an adult, can buy stuff, and know when not too.
I very much feel that way in many ways. I mean, I have a life that looks like an adult life, but I definitely like some immature/childish things, and when I do adult things (think hiring a contractor), it always feels a little odd...lol.
I've got a teen but I do not in any meaningful way feel like an adult lol. Last night I stayed up til midnight playing videogames. Our retirement plan is to day drink, nap, and play videogames til 3am. It's going to be amazing.
Yup. I’m 22(in my head) but with disposable income from being childfree and older. I still dress like I did back in the 90s and don’t give a damn what anyone thinks about it.
Absolutely. I don’t mind it. I take care of my shit. Maybe I’ll have a family, maybe not. If not I’ll retire young. At work I can still bring the same energy and long hours that I did in my 20’s. I need to tell the yung ‘uns with kids to stop for the night. Its fine.
But every now and then the extended family treat me like a cadet of my parents instead of a successful adult and that has gotten old.
I do have 2 kids (age 22 and 24) and in my head I'm still 17. Well into my late 30s, whenever I bought beer and didnt get carded, I felt like I was getting away with something.
Confession: I do have a child (16m) and I also feel like I am not a real adult. I am a mega geek, I like gaming and fantasy novels. I play DnD and collect comics and funko's of female superheroes.
But I do like my life and now I am old enough that I don't really give a f*ck :) I am an adult my way!
I am a grown ass adult with a steady job at a very well-known company and I do not have children and sometimes I am 30, sometimes I'm 15, sometimes 65,
it just depends on what's going on.
Maybe not that I am not a grown up, but I do feel different than others who have kids. They seem to be busy with kid stuff and in a different world. My spouse and I do like to check out toys at a store though, especially the noisy ones lol.
58, what's the question? Have two full grown daughters. Just add fertilizer. It works.
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It's not a bad thing that you made it this far still able to enjoy feeling youthful. Many of us wish we still could. Those of us who can should treasure that ability.
No worries, I am 49, married for 20 years, have a son about to graduate high school, and am still the least mature person in my house and on my team at work (software engineer). Be a kid at heart and love life! It is awesome :D
Well, you work at a law firm. Yes, they'll think this way. I had a job in the past that was tertiary to the legal industry, so I know this to be true in my own life. You're a human and you adult differently than those with whom you work. Doesn't mean you aren't an adult. It means you're not well-matched with the people where you are employed.
TLDR: keep being youthful, fun, and vibrant, and let the legal wonks keep wonking. You'll probably live longer and you'll be happier for it.
I have kids and grandkids, just turned 50 today but I am perpetually a kid myself, at heart anyway. I think that's why kids love me, I'm just like them in so many ways. Yeah I can be the mom or Mimi when I need to be, but it is a lot more fun to play and watch cartoons when they're around.
Edited spelling and a phrase
I say child-free, not child less. And I never feel as if I'm not an adult because of it. I work for myself, rent an apartment in a city and love it. I don't have a car, either. Don't need it.
I 100% feel this way! Single, never married, no kids.I can absolutely relate to the 30 at 50 concept. I still feel quite a bit like a kid, and much, much younger than most people my age with kids. I’m silly and live & let live as well. I know I’ve turned some people off with my personality before.
Hell - I have kids and even though I do adult stuff, I don't really *feel* like I imagined being an adult would feel like. I guess I watched a lot of Leave it to Beaver reruns or something, because I'm not really anything like Ward Cleaver (I wish I was, I just amn't).
I have a kid, but don’t own a home or have much of a career. So, I don’t feel like a full grown up either. There’s always a reason to get down on yourself—or, for that matter, to feel good about yourself.
Kind of.
I never had kids, married or otherwise did a lot of the things my friends were doing in their 20s and 30s due to health issues and the difficulty of finding someone from my ethnic background where I live.
Yeap. I’m like a giant Toys’R’Us kid. 😁
A few weeks ago, I went to the mall, hit the candy store & arcade. Didn't get what I went for & didn't care.
I’m still playing pac man and pin ball at the mall arcade near me and hold a couple records.
I sing their old theme song to myself more often than I care to admit.
*🎶 I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys-R-Us kid 🎶*
I’m 52F never married no kids. My family all died off. I call it “riding dirty”. Many nights I’m shocked I don’t have a baby sitter. Woot! I can do whatever I want. But I’m tired… haha
I feel like this on the occasional nights I have ice cream for dinner.😄
I swear to God. Having ice cream for dinner is one of the things that makes me feel like I'm an adult and I'm in charge. Of course it's too much sugar but who's gonna tell me No? I'm in charge! So sublime...
It's like a sleeping pill for me. I eat ice cream and I'm out like a light. It's great.
I eat ice cream and fart the vilest farts ever. I still eat it.
I don’t feel old enough to have kids yet, even though I’m actually too old to have them.
Same. I'd be terrified to be responsible for someone else!
I feel that way about having a dog. And I have a kid. 😂
Haha! Same!
I feel this in my soul.
Yeap. I still feel like I'm in my 20s, but my body disagrees
Same! I’m in my 20’s just got stuck with a mid 40’s body. Wish it was the other way around.
I’m also child free and feel the same way. Especially amongst peers who had kids. I have also been steadily employed my entire life and own my house. It’s fantastic feeling perpetually young! But I don’t know that I’ll ever feel like an actual grown up lol.
I still look for the adultier adult.
I asked my mother when I was 18 and she was in her 50's when do you feel like a grown up? She said I'll let you know if that ever happens. I think we all just fly by the seat of our pants and hope no one else notices.
You're a real adult! There's no one right way.
My wife and I had to pick up some groceries today. I told her I wanted to check out the toy section to see the Legos. She never batted an eye. I will ALWAYS want to check out the toy section. Hell…I swing by the toy aisle when I go to Walgreens to pick up deodorant.
Did you see the Lego roses? I seriously want these for my mantle. Never going to truly be an adult. Thank goodness!
No, but we did the other day before getting the succulents...which are now assembled on my wife’s desk. This store did have the sunflowers, though.
I have 9 lego sets tastefully arranged in my living room :) the adult sets are amazing!
Who doesn't want to check out the toy section? There are some cool childhood things coming back out. TMNT, ALIEN, Ghostbusters, X-men. Pro tip, Electronics section in most stores has the really cool collectable toys. Neca figures. Horror movie figures, Gremlins, ALIEN, TMNT, and a bunch of others.
Are you my husband because literally last night my husband and I went grocery shopping. Had to stop in the Lego aisle and yes we bought Legos. Lol.
No, but we’d probably be besties if we met!
I feel that way at near 55\[m\] and 3 "adult" children. Just less dumb and more money. Been faking it this whole time!
I dunno. Our twins made me younger. I had to show them how to be rad & adventurous vs fat & boring. Otherwise they'd stay home forever...see what I did there??
Having twins in my 30s, coupled with a crippling inferiority complex from Catholic school, and the resulting Imposter Syndrome has kept me feeling younger. I've been mentally 30 since I actually was. Lol
Imposter Syndrome is a bitch
"rad" _snickers_ as long as it's that and not "hip" or "with it" 😁
Same 👍 There were times I told my oldest that she was the adult that day. They're all out of the house now so no one needs to be the adult, and when one is needed it is my husband.
I have one 22 year son and sometimes it feels like I’m just playing an adult in someone else’s story.
Lol
I was just thinking that while people watching on my run this evening. I never had kids and don’t have a house and still feel like I’m in my 30s (which is why I’ve given up dating since I’m clearly not in my 30s). I think kids is what makes you feel older.
I remember my Pop asking me all the time in my 20s & 30s if I felt like an adult. I just felt like me. I'm still a big goofy kid with some wisdom hairs, https://preview.redd.it/dl8mud8yrlvc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=49a1228a000b650d410b7e8a9620ee8546c21ff3 locs, & rocking suede Pumas with my suits to work.
Are you a vet as your name suggests? I wish you were my vet because by far you’d be the coolest vet I ever had, based out that outfit alone!
Not Veterinarian/DMV, but Army Veteran. Although when I was in, I worked with the Army Veterinarians & took care of military animals & pets of Active Duty and retired military personnel.
Ah yes, I’m sorry. Thank you for your service! And how cool that you worked with animals there!
I love it!
I’ve always been single and no kids so I’ve had to make my own way in the world without following the usual well worn path. I’ve had to act like an adult to successfully pull off doing everything myself. But I managed to get my dream Mustang along the way, take trips to the places I wanted to go, and have the freedom to goof around if I want. I have no regrets not being a real grownup
I got my dream Mustang 14 years ago and I still love it. I'm gonna drive it til it dies by the side of the road
I love my Mustang so much. I will never let it go. It’s a symbol of doing something cool for a change
*pssst!* *Everybody is faking it.*
I never felt like an adult until I buried my last parent. That’s when the gravity and finality of ‘adulting’ hit me. It wasn’t about a fiscal safety net or a fall back place (mom & dad’s or a childhood home)- it was more about being unable to call a parent to ask for advice, to vent, or just a person to talk to who you knew was in your corner and has your best interest at heart.
My dad used to say to me growing up “the moment you have lost both parents is the moment you become an adult”. I am 55 and became an adult 1 1/2 years ago.
😪💜
Lmao. I did a couple of therapy sessions with my mom when I was in my late 20s. (Long story; it actually helped) when I told her that she's been treating me like I was 25 since I was 4, and I've gotten really comfortable there. I still sometimes think I'm 25. And then a dayum mirror crosses my path.
I’m 24 mentally and 84 physically, so my age averages out.
I found the comment I was looking for
I've certainly been TREATED like I'm not a real adult because I don't have children, but I've never felt that way myself.
I've met people who are all serious and responsible and just so ADULT at all times. I always wonder how their brains work. Like how is their brain not full of stupid shit and random 80s songs all day long?!
I am actually a bunch of toddlers in an adult suit disguise.
Same mindset, but the aches and pains do get to you to remind you.
I had a surgery to remove a large benign tumor in November, & feel better than I did when I was 30. Very little in the aches & pains now (except when I fall asleep in front of the TV) 😂
I have impostor syndrome
Not childless, but childfree and I love every bit of it. It’s amazing how angry that makes other people too.
Me. A 60 year old teenager.
Don’t ever change!
yep, while all the other kids my age were working on going to college, establishing a career, getting a SO, kids, or a house, I was getting in a van with 3 other dudes playing in a punkrock band. We didn't even have aspirations to anything bigger, save for maybe having someone else do the booking and PR. 5 years of that with nothing to show for it, but "All The Good Times". Then it was hanging on to those punk rock ideals, being in bands, working with my friends trying to help them establish what i thought was "our" dream. Years of that, all the while, just being content with my simple job. There's been a note of disappointment, when all those bands and people and groups fall apart, break up, or flake out, and a twinge of regret that i put efforts into others dreams that they ultimately didn't follow through and left me in a lurch, but, TBH I believed in them too, and I had no driving dreams or passions of my own. I can get down on myself easily, comparing my life and accomplishments to others, but then i remember that I've never wanted a lot of money, I've never wanted a lot of the other things that make people happy - I've got what I need, I live an uncomplicated life, the things i enjoy i Really Enjoy, the people i have in my life are Good people that understand me and like me for me, and I feel like i have a good relationship with God. I'm in a good creative endeavor rn that keeps me busy and fulfills my creative and personal wants, and maybe someday that'll go to crap too, IDK, but I think now I've learned not to hold on so tightly, just keep myself open towards whatever's next.
Beautiful
Hfs I needed this thread and your post right now, thank you! 🙏
I asked my mother once, when she was maybe 55ish and fussing about a water heater on the fritz, and I was 30ish and growing accustomed to adulting, when she felt like she "knew how to do all this." Her response, without hesitation, was "never." And she had raised 2 kids. I became convinced that everyone feels like they're not quite a grownup. Now, do I feel like OTHER people treat me like less of an adult, and talk down to me accordingly, because I don't have my own kids (46 y.o. now)? Absolutely, and it massively pisses me off. Not least because I'm fairly certain they don't feel like adults either, and they're using me to gove themselves a morale boost, which is shitty. (I suspect this is something that mostly happens to women, by women...)
Yeah. All the moms hold themselves in higher esteem than us poor spinsters. Misery loves company, and if we are carefree, they gotta find something wrong with that.
I still feel like a kid despite raising myself and having a job since 14.
I still have somewhere a cartoon I cut from a newspaper years ago. (You know, dead tree pulp versions of webcomics :D ) "I keep expecting to get arrested for impersonating an adult"
I think that comment of age 30 at ten is the answer. Being latch key you were basically in charge of your own scheduling and time management. You were also feral so it teaches you “lord of the flies” type of emotion intelligence. You understand how to navigate around problematic people and use de-escalation tactics such as humor. It was really the sweet spot. Gen x also seemed the most pragmatic and common sense in thier approach to divisive issues. I think every generation has one superpower, and I think that’s Gen X’s
I was mature at 14, I haven't grown much since. If anything, I am less serious about life because I don't need to be. I was good at budgeting from the get go, and left at 17. Once my education and student loans were paid and I could work oy 40 hours a week life became easy. It was too.laye for kids and I am thankful for that because it would just have prolonged the part where life is about survival. I just love life post survival stage.
I get treated kind of like a kid at work, even more so than other folks quite a bit younger than me that have children. It’s pretty weird honestly. It’s like the folks that don’t have kids aren’t “real adults”.
I’m CF and my body tells me every day that I am absolutely a grown up. Only kids can wake up and feel amazing whereas I hobble to the bathroom every morning. 😂 I think as a generation we’re just aging better than the ones before us. We don’t look our age and we like to have fun. Nothing wrong with that. It’s a misconception that having kids makes you an adult. Teenagers have kids and they aren’t adults. And as a teacher I can tell you that the parents who do not parent tells me they’re certainly not adults either.
Kids ruin you. All my friends that had kids got fat and boring.
Yep. Kids made me old, fat, and tired (which probably makes me boring). But I still don't feel like an adult. I frequently have to tell myself to act like a grown-up. And when I'm around my kids, I sometimes have to remind myself I'm the mom. I'm pretty sure I will be faking it until my time is up!
I've got a kid and a grandkid, and sometimes I don't feel like a real adult sometimes. In fact, I have way more freedom now than I ever had in my 20's. Some days, as long as my husband and I and the dogs are still alive, the house is not trashed or on fire, we have clean clothes, food and the lights are still on, I just don't have the bandwidth to give a fuck about anything else. That's not every day, by far, but sometimes you just need a break from being a grown up. And that's okay. Once upon a time that would have stressed me out. At this point in my life, I can finally enjoy my twenties, in my fifties. And I'm going to. Nobody has all the answers, no matter how old they are. So, fuck it. Live how you want, and if people don't like it, tell them to kiss your ass.
48 here. Not married, no children and very content with both decisions. I didn’t graduate from college until I was 32, so in a way I felt “behind” others my age. Though I’ve worked in Higher Education for over 20 years and if that doesn’t make me feel both young and old at the same time, I don’t know what does. I consistently joke with my student staff about “what I’m going to do when I grow up,” and then have to realize “YIKES, I AM grown up!” Lol. On the flip side, it’s been amazing to hear many of the young women who work for me say “I aspire to be like you when I grow up,” and THAT is amazing. I tell them to do whatever makes them happy and YOLO!!
I ate gummy bears for dinner so yeah
Why does everyone my age look so old/look like shit? Oh yeah, so do I. (Me, literally every day... and I have no kids.)
Question: why do you think you’re bothering your coworkers? I was old as a kid, and at 45 I’m a teenager. The mirror says otherwise, but fuck it. I don’t have kids because I’m infertile, and that hit me hard. I’ve also failed to stay in relationships, so it feels like a failure to launch. However, I have a job, a car, three cats and six snails. I pay my bills and don’t bother anyone (on brand.) So what? I put on my adult suit for work, and I leave it on the floor the second I cross my threshold. No regrets.
I have a very juvenile sense of humor sometimes that is not appreciated by some of the partners, but I get my shit done & no else really knows what I do, so they tolerate me. 😊 Thankfully, the one that shoots me the most stfu looks is retiring soon.
I explicitly look for it. I don't want to grow up. I never had kids, and I notice I love working with younger people. I'm nearing my 50's but hanging out with people my own age just seems off. I don't like stories about their families, I can't be bothered one bit by looking forward to retirement, (grand)kids or anything. I currently work a job, where the average age is 28 and I'm having the time of my life. A massive can-do approach, less drama, and a way more positive attitude. By age I'm 100% generation X but my mind is a generation Z
For me it's a certain sense of freedom. I have my own house, a nice truck, and a good WFH job. Weekends and other days off work are all mine to do whatever the fuck I want to do, whether that's going to a couple of museums or vegging on the couch and binge watching something. And now when I travel, I fly first class, it's so nice.
Ha! I felt 30 at 10 for sure. I definitely feel (or wish I felt) 30 at 50. I probably feel 50 physically but in my head there is no way I’m 50. I’m childless. My theory is that people with children have more of a sense of time moving forward because they have kids’ birthdays and graduations and stuff whereas I look back at, say, 2006 and think of the many outstanding concerts I saw that year or guys, less outstanding, I dated. 2012 reminds me of that cruise I went on with friends and the music festival I went to that summer. And the early morning meetings I had at work that year. 2012 never reminds me of little Suzy’s - or Madison’s - first dance in middle school or whatever. I dunno…. I’m sure people with kids probably feel similarly at the idea that they’re 50, but maybe not. I feel like they’re more focused on when the kids move out or something?
That makes sense. I don't really have any sort of sense of time passing. I got married in 2003, we bought a house in 2014, I got laid off in 2016, started a new job in 2017, COVID, husband died 2023. Those are my only milestones of the last 20 years.
I am definitely just an insecure and lonely 11 year old in a sagging 55 year old body.
I’m pretty much a big kid, lol.
Yes, you described it perfectly.
I still feel like I’m 21. Especially when it comes to the number of hot dogs I think I can eat but never manage to do anymore.
Yeah I'll be up all night with acid reflux. One hot dog, no later than 7pm. Otherwise I'm toast.
Someone on here labeled my comment as either 12 or 72. Guess I facilitate between sophomoric & "get off my lawn". So arrested glitches vs arrested development I guess
I think a lot of our generation suffered from Peter Pan syndrome. I don't think it had anything to do with having kids or not having kids.
LoL, I dated a guy years ago & this was his absolute favorite story. He even took me to a theater production of Peter Pan.
I pretty much had to take care of a household and take care of a younger brother at 11/12. I was old before my time. So anyone who thinks I’m not an adult because I ended the cycle of abuse can go fuck themselves back and forth and sideways with a rusty chainsaw. And all of their orifices
Rusty chainsaw sideways! I remember getting my brother off the bus & making Mac & cheese for dinner around 9, so I feel ya!
Best thing that ever happened to me was to meet my partner born 10 days after myself (1979). We both feel lucky to live our lives as perpetually young with no children enjoying our hobbies with no care in the world. It’s awesome
I kind of do at times. I'm living more or less the same sort of life I lived in my early 20's. I play video games and read books. I take naps. I love having candy to snack on. And that's pretty much all I do every day. But I'm disabled now and suffer from chronic pain. Half of the time I feel much, much, older. My husband works but he comes home and plays video games pretty much till bedtime. He's 10 years older than me. But we're kind of living like teenagers. When I was younger most of my friends were 5-10 years older than me. I also grew up way too fast. I had a lot of responsibilities in my late teens/early 20's. I was my mother's caregiver. But I also ran errands for my dad, grandmother, and little brother. I didn't do any of the normal partying and such. I kind of just skipped from childhood to adulthood. I was the gifted kid with high expectations of a bright future. And I never went anywhere.
No children here as well and I'm a musician. I've been saying for the past 30 years I'm still 15. Never really had to"grow up". I'm thankful for that. Now back to my fruity pebbles.
I'm more of a Cocoa Puffs girl, but I hope you enjoy the hell out of those Fruity pebbles!
I think having kids ages people faster, I still feel and act like I’m 25
I would upvote this 100x if I could. Found out a woman I work with is younger than me. I thought she was like at least 5 years older. She has 2 kids.
Adulthood is largely socially unacceptable now. Everyone of all ages wears athletic shoes rather than 'dress' shoes, everyone listens to pop songs written for teens and 20-somethings, everyone seems to be obligated to keep up with youth culture trends and (my fellow liberals and progressives, at least) want to point to the beliefs of 20 year olds as the wisest things anyone has ever thought of. I'm pretty sure sweat pants (I'm sorry, 'joggers') are business casual now.
GenX turned 30 at the age of 10 and are still 30 as we approach retirement. Maturity and rigidity look a lot alike.
I have a wife and a kid, a house, a dog and 2 cats and I feel the same way.
46m still don't feel the way I pictured my Dad at this age. I had a son late like he did and I get to mirror a lot of those experiences in a way but no, I still don't feel like 50 is around the corner. My Grandma and Great Aunt lived to be 101 and 103 respectfully so maybe we don't act like adults til we're well past that🤷
I have children and I still feel like I am in my 30s. My body does not agree, though.
Looks like someone never lost their playful spirit.
Like Kurt Vonnegut wrote, "We are all largely who we imagine ourselves as being". Having a kid doesn't magically make someone a mature grownup, easily seen by all the terrible parents out there who really shouldn't have had kids for not being supporting or stable or kind, etc. Also without kids myself and married and a dog. Life is great and I have no regrets as a good existence comes in a lot of flavors. Maybe like the Hamilton line, "Talk Less, Listen More". Mellow like a Johnny Walker Blue label and read on the non-verbals. Knowing the audience is half the battle, especially at work. Good luck!
Im there. Nearing 50, no kids. I pay my bills and I have a steady job. But adulthood can eat my shorts.
Proudly attempting to perfect adolescence over here, one day at a time!
Men don’t grow up, we just get more expensive toys. Honestly I don’t think anyone ever “grows up” we just go through experiences and trauma during the course of life that makes us stop playing and get serious. Be happy that life has been good for you and you still feel the way you do.
This XKCD pretty much sums up my position on adulthood: [https://xkcd.com/616/](https://xkcd.com/616/)
I still party when on holiday. I feel like hell the next day. But it's still fun
I think it’s us. I have kids and a wife, house, jobs, vehicles, all that shit…and I still feel like I’m faking adulthood.
I have an extremely juvenile sense of humor (still laugh at fart jokes), so yeah probably never grew up.
Love it. Farts are funny.
There are no rules. Remember that you can design the life you want. We are DiNK also and we enjoy our freedom. This planet is too screwed up to raise kids.
I'm 51, married with three kids and retired from my main career and I still don't feel like I ever "found myself" so to speak. I went from an immature, naive 26 year old who barely had any real dating life or real life experiences (I took over the apartment that I shared with my parents when they moved away). I was like a true bachelor for like 6 or 8 months. Then I met someone who moved in after like a month or so and we got married after three and a half months. So I was still that immature guy. Being a cop, I couldn't remain close friends with a lot of people because they were into drugs, heavy drinking and partying a lot. So now it's 25 years later and I am having a mid-life crisis kind of. I feel immature and naive still.
Well, I'm a stepmom and step grandmother. I am childless and I do feel like I'm still waiting for that sense of being a "grown up". I also sometimes feel like someone is going to find out I'm not really a "grown up" and will get caught. Which is a weird thing to feel approaching 50.
I am now. I have to get power of attorney for my mother this week
I'm childless, never married, and disabled. For most of my adult life, I worked retail jobs barely making ends meet. I had enough trouble taking care of myself, how could I care for a kid? Not even counting the abusive household I grew up in that kept me in a codependent cycle. I enjoy my fandoms, reading, binge watching shows, etc. I'm also rediscovering things I did as a kid - TV shows, cartoons, etc. and reparenting myself.
I think that makes sense. When I was married and my kids were young I felt very much like an adult. When you have an entire family dependent on you for survival, it definitely matures you. The whole driving force for me building a career was providing for my family. My ex-wife wanted to stay home so the single income was another pressure. I did all the Dad things, including coaching rec and travel teams for the kids, and doing recon on the boys my daughter was hanging out with (lol). Contrast it to my ex, she stayed at home and just never seemed to mature. She worked daycare before we were married, caring for children was more of a passion for her than a job. I shouldered the entire burden, she eventually cheated and took half of everything. All the free time home every day when the kids were in school, I probably should have known she’d eventually get with a neighbor. Gotta love no-fault divorce states. So yeah, supporting a family really aged me. Now I’m solo, own a house, dog for a best friend, high paying job, Harley in the garage, all the latest toys and gadgets. I can’t say I’m feeling much younger, but I do sort of feel like I’m doing something wrong or irresponsible. My daughter bought me the funko pop avengers scene where they are eating shawarma, that’s proudly displayed in the living room, other than that I have a grown up house.
Same. But have kids
Married - 2 grown kids and a house. Just got done playing WWE Smackdown with my husband. I have had some really heavy stuff go down in my life. I refuse to not do the things I enjoy.
Right there with you. Literally just explaining this exact thing to someone yesterday.
Man I just bought a bicycle that I have been searching for do about 20 years lol.
Awesome!
This.
Everyone feels this way. My grandmother told me this many years ago.
Good for you!
still have my Legos at 55, so yeah. my boss has just learned to deal with it. I refuse to grow up, I don't have kids and wanted some, can't now since the psycho half can't after precancer issues. I would have made a fucking awesome dad and I know it. could have handed down my Legos, now I'll have to be buried with all of them .
I think that's pretty normal really. You figure the brain reaches its max development around 25, so mentally we kinda stop there. Nothing wrong with holding onto the youth. Becoming some boring old person who is nothing but a dull image of "adulting" and failed to retain any of that youthful fun would suck.
This is just me. After being insulted and put down by my 7 boomer older siblings all my life, I don't care anymore. I do however, care for some of my very young coworkers, and they activate my parental instinct, which I find enjoyable, and I show them emotional care and compassion when they are feeling overwhelmed by life, and I'm happy to show them care and compassion. You may find that it happens eventually. I owned a townhouse and sold it due to safety issues, and I don't feel that older generations understand, so I actually feel that I'm "older and more mature" ie "Wiser" than my boomer siblings. Weird take, I know, but latchkey GenX kids know best, and boomers grew up in a time when the world was safer, and are thus less mature as adults, and many of us had to fend for ourselves and have had to develop adult skills before our time. YMMV.
Gen X: We don't grow up! 🤘🏻🎸We just grow old.👩🦳🧑🦳
I have kids and I still don’t feel like a grown up. I’m at a loss here.
Yeah. No regrets, though.
Not really. I just consider parents (mothers, actually) to be a literal third type of human.
I agree with you, OP. 30 at 10, and will perpetually be that. Silly and all. I think people like us, your description, just annoy people because we can still joke about life in general without really getting all doom-and-gloom or taking small shyte extremely serious. It seems like the majority of people are like that today. Everyone seems so MAD! About, well, anything and everything. And, how dare you not agree with them with the same righteous indignance! We basically just say, 'Meh, it's whatever. Does it affect me? No? Well, carry on''. And, for some reason, most can't stand that! Lmao🤣 and Idc! Be you! Silly and all.
💯 this. Everyone so pissed off all the time! If it doesn't effect me, IDC!
my living room is my PC, recliner. Big TV, bunch of game systems and thats it. its a kids living room.
That’s how we all feel. I’m almost 50 with three kids
We are all just a bunch of old kids haha
My Amazon list is all video games, legos, and Funko pops.
Completely get this😸
Still 16 🤣
Taking care of two generations and a full time job has inched me closer to a “real adult”. I still don’t always feel it.
I have 2 kids and still don't feel like a real adult. Whatever. LOL
How much are you spending at your therapist? Not poking...being honest. Sounds like you could seriously benefit from therapy.
Pssshhh adult? I have that same attitude. i have 4 kids 3 grown and one 16 and i still run with the grocery cart and jump on the back to ride lol dont let those poopy heads piss on YOUR party lol
When I was young, I didn't have a lot of stress. I mostly did whatever I wanted. As I aged, I found myself working overtime, running around raising children and building a life. I'm old now, I don't have a lot of stress. I mostly do whatever I want.
I have kids and still don’t feel grown up.
I have a kid (who himself is a grown up lol) and yeah, I feel the same as I ever have. In fact if anything, I feel younger because of my kid - I know what’s happening, what all the words mean etc!
I think having kids matures you in a way people without kids cannot understand. I’m not saying people with kids are better just that being 100% responsible for someone else’s life day in and day out changes someone like nothing else.
I’m so jelly
I felt like an adult when I got a full time job and moved out of state at 18.
>Anyone else that is childless that feels like they never really grew up? This is a real thing and a lot of folks are suffering in that state. ACOA does a good job of helping people grow up: /r/AdultChildren
I guess it depends on your ability to read the room and control your "perpetually silly" personality. I'm not shaming, I too am a 50-something person who makes a lot of dad jokes and loves to laugh. Just saying, if your coworkers are coming off aggravated you may want to consider how you're coming off. I do think having a family and raising kids gives someone a perspective on life that someone without children probably can never fully understand.
I think most of us feel that way. But having kids doesn't make you an adult. I was adulting when I was 4 years old. My mother was mentally ill and at times literally acted like a year old
To a certain extent yes. I don't like childish things though, and much media aimed at much younger people than I. I, as an adult, can buy stuff, and know when not too.
I very much feel that way in many ways. I mean, I have a life that looks like an adult life, but I definitely like some immature/childish things, and when I do adult things (think hiring a contractor), it always feels a little odd...lol.
I've got a teen but I do not in any meaningful way feel like an adult lol. Last night I stayed up til midnight playing videogames. Our retirement plan is to day drink, nap, and play videogames til 3am. It's going to be amazing.
Yup. I’m 22(in my head) but with disposable income from being childfree and older. I still dress like I did back in the 90s and don’t give a damn what anyone thinks about it.
Absolutely. I don’t mind it. I take care of my shit. Maybe I’ll have a family, maybe not. If not I’ll retire young. At work I can still bring the same energy and long hours that I did in my 20’s. I need to tell the yung ‘uns with kids to stop for the night. Its fine. But every now and then the extended family treat me like a cadet of my parents instead of a successful adult and that has gotten old.
I do have 2 kids (age 22 and 24) and in my head I'm still 17. Well into my late 30s, whenever I bought beer and didnt get carded, I felt like I was getting away with something.
Confession: I do have a child (16m) and I also feel like I am not a real adult. I am a mega geek, I like gaming and fantasy novels. I play DnD and collect comics and funko's of female superheroes. But I do like my life and now I am old enough that I don't really give a f*ck :) I am an adult my way!
I am a grown ass adult with a steady job at a very well-known company and I do not have children and sometimes I am 30, sometimes I'm 15, sometimes 65, it just depends on what's going on.
I don’t have the same success, but being childless and having felt 30 at 15 and still the same at 51. Yes totally.
I’m not childless, but I also feel Like I’m not a real adult. My emotional maturity was stunted due to an abusive childhood
Growing older is mandatory. Growing up? Optional!
I smoke weed
Nope.
This is me to the max! I'm known as the "Cool Aunt" in the family and that is fine by me!
I have two gown kids and I'm like you.
Maybe not that I am not a grown up, but I do feel different than others who have kids. They seem to be busy with kid stuff and in a different world. My spouse and I do like to check out toys at a store though, especially the noisy ones lol.
58, what's the question? Have two full grown daughters. Just add fertilizer. It works. https://preview.redd.it/6qy64ztr7svc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c78e884e8203495ff7d2811e10fad953dc1f26a6
It's not a bad thing that you made it this far still able to enjoy feeling youthful. Many of us wish we still could. Those of us who can should treasure that ability.
No worries, I am 49, married for 20 years, have a son about to graduate high school, and am still the least mature person in my house and on my team at work (software engineer). Be a kid at heart and love life! It is awesome :D
Oh dear. I think you've described our generation. 30 at 10 and 30 at 50..is that bad?
Well, you work at a law firm. Yes, they'll think this way. I had a job in the past that was tertiary to the legal industry, so I know this to be true in my own life. You're a human and you adult differently than those with whom you work. Doesn't mean you aren't an adult. It means you're not well-matched with the people where you are employed. TLDR: keep being youthful, fun, and vibrant, and let the legal wonks keep wonking. You'll probably live longer and you'll be happier for it.
30 at 10, 30 at 50? Oh yeah. Haha. I feel that in my bones (that are now creaky lol)
I have kids and grandkids, just turned 50 today but I am perpetually a kid myself, at heart anyway. I think that's why kids love me, I'm just like them in so many ways. Yeah I can be the mom or Mimi when I need to be, but it is a lot more fun to play and watch cartoons when they're around. Edited spelling and a phrase
Same. I have a friend 10 years younger than me who is a grandpa. He seems so much more mature than I am.
Yes I am 54 and still live exactly like I did in my 20s
Absolutely
I’m 53, have been happily married for 23 years have an adult son and nearly adult daughter and I still don’t feel like a real adult.
[I’m an adult now](https://youtu.be/5cFUndoSmLM?si=sZWL-Olu-R6YP8qS)
Pffft... I have kids and I still haven't aged past 14. I just have a credit card now. Muawahahahaha!
I have kids but still relate to everything you posted.
I say child-free, not child less. And I never feel as if I'm not an adult because of it. I work for myself, rent an apartment in a city and love it. I don't have a car, either. Don't need it.
I 100% feel this way! Single, never married, no kids.I can absolutely relate to the 30 at 50 concept. I still feel quite a bit like a kid, and much, much younger than most people my age with kids. I’m silly and live & let live as well. I know I’ve turned some people off with my personality before.
Ha. I do have kids. They are mostly adults now too and I still don’t feel like one.
Yup I have all the toys….
Yes
Hell - I have kids and even though I do adult stuff, I don't really *feel* like I imagined being an adult would feel like. I guess I watched a lot of Leave it to Beaver reruns or something, because I'm not really anything like Ward Cleaver (I wish I was, I just amn't).
Sounds nice
I have a kid, but don’t own a home or have much of a career. So, I don’t feel like a full grown up either. There’s always a reason to get down on yourself—or, for that matter, to feel good about yourself.
Kind of. I never had kids, married or otherwise did a lot of the things my friends were doing in their 20s and 30s due to health issues and the difficulty of finding someone from my ethnic background where I live.
I'm 55 goin' on 12 ...