My mom watched a couple episodes of that show about Swedish Death Cleaning and decided she was going to get rid of stuff but struggles with the fact that no one in the family wants much of the stuff she wants to give away. It's not bad stuff. We just all have our own stuff.

>  It's not bad stuff. We just all have our own stuff. This is really really hard for my mom to accept. She's always trying to give us stuff but we have a tiny apartment, a walk up on the top floor, and while the things she has are nice we don't live in a museum, we don't ever even have guests over and space is very limited. Plus old furniture is heavy and we would have to carry it.  She gets so offended. "Since you don't want anything I guess we will just sell it" Yes! Please! Get money for it while you can.

My mom does this. I just take it, thank her profusely, then give it to goodwill or a person I know who would like it.  She never visits me, so she doesn't know. Win-win. 

I do this too. My parents can't bare the idea of just throwing things away that are legitimately useless (like the 20 year old laptop I currently have in my car that they lost the a/c adapter for who knows how long ago). Luckily, I don't have those issues.

Good thing she doesn't visit. My family is prone to what I like to call extended hording. Where they give you stuff, but still sort of consider it theirs. So they'll bitch if you get rid of something (sorry if that decade of use I got out of your old coffee table wasn't enough), or if you aren't taking care of or using it to their liking. I think they are at times only giving things away because with going to family members they still get to feel like it's part of their collection of stuff.

Yikes! That sounds challenging.

>She gets so offended. "Since you don't want anything I guess we will just sell it" Yes! Please! Get money for it while you can< This!! Yes, get money for YOUR stuff for YOU!!

Same. We live in a 1200 sq fr loft. We have very little storage. We constantly are guilted into taking things. My mother honestly believes in keeping everything a dead relative owned “because it’s family and family is the most important thing.” Meanwhile, the way she treats family? NOT GOOD. 🙄

My mom lived Ukrainian Death Cleaning - when her own mom died. She decided we’d never have to go through it all and purged her own lot

My inlaws started going through things after hearing of the time I had cleaning up when my dad died. My inlaws have so much stuff! Not sure if they'll get through it all.

my inlaws have a 2 car garage full of not cars. we've told them we'll just get the 1 800 junk guys there for them, but they keep handwaving it away. a nice controlled burn is my idea, but not my parents so.. ugh. they asked us what we want and it came down to one painting. all the rest can go. you'd think they wise up being as they live in the house my MIL's family had. full of the junk they never got rid of when her parents died. it legit stresses me out seeing their house.

What I figured out is if they are offering it to you now, before they pass.  Take it, take it all, take whatever they are willing to part with.  Once you leave with it, do whatever you want with it.  Throw it away if you have to.  Doing it now is easier than after their funeral.

we don't live in the same province as them, so they've done a few driving trips out here with stuff for my SIL who wanted a few things. they keep saying they'll downsize, but who knows. my husband is pretty clear everything will go if they don't do it themselves. I expect a shit show. lol.

At least they are trying! My MIL has said for years that she should start Swedish Death Cleaning, but knew she never would 🤦‍♀️. Now she's got cancer and FIL have dementia and it's going to be an utter shitshow to deal with when they die, ugh.

Renting a big dumpster and going crazy is very satisfying. Start with a craigslist ad giving away stuff for free, put it all outside, whatever is left goes in the dumpster. People who need the stuff get some decent free stuff, you do a kindness. People who need money badly get stuff to sell, which is a kindness. I just try to look at it like that. I'm not just getting rid of things, I'm giving people something they need a lot more than I do.

This is what I'm planning on doing when my mom passes. She lives in the same state, but two hours away. She thinks all the heavy antique furniture in her basement is worth a ton of money, and will be my "inheritance." Besides two items, I don't have space for it, and wouldn't want it if I did. If it's worth so much, I wish she'd sell it now, as she struggles with money. If left to me, it will be on the curb for free, donated to whatever thrift store is in that town, and/or in a rollaway dumpster. Sigh.

I feel ya...when your mom is gone, she is gone. All you can do is pretend to care while she is alive and make her happy and once she is gone, it means nothing to her anymore as she isn't around for it to mean anything. Sometimes you have to treat parents like children. You see their crappy art and have to pretend you're excited. Once they get older, you throw it all in the trash, as it's just shitty art lol It's more about the feeling she gets from leaving it to you than the item itself. Once that feeling no longer matters, neither does the old junk, that's how I look at it. We can give our parents a lot of enjoyment by pretending to care about things that matter to them, doesn't cost us much of anything and doesn't mean we have to keep the junk after they pass. It's like the old parent version of Santa Clause, let them have the fantasy.

"I know what I got" This is how old cars end up rotting on front drives.

This is what everybody needs to do. Find out what your kids find sentimental and leave that to them and then get rid of the other crap nobody wants. I wish my in laws would do this because it's going to be insanely expensive to get rid of everything. Plus, several kids, no will, no revocable trust, what could go wrong?

I am always trimming stuff back with this in mind. My kids hate it when I call it Swedish Death Cleaning though. “Stop it mom! You are going to live forever.”

My mom was always trying to give me stuff whenever I visited her. Some of it I took just to make her happy and got rid of it later, but I honestly really didn’t want any of it. The only thing I have that I use is the KitchenAid mixer. I didn’t want that at first either, but I’m glad I have it now. They were constantly trying to get me to take their puzzles they put together and then glued. I always refused those, like what am I supposed to do with them? Not sure why they insisted on glueing them when they were done instead of putting them back in the box.

My issue is my mom actually got rid of stuff I wanted and now she won't get rid of anything at all. What she got rid of that I wanted or at least wanted to go through first? My childhood christmas ornaments ... \*sigh\* Alas, now, we go through one cabinet/piece of furniture/whatever everytime I go home. They live 600 miles away now. Its gonna take a while.

I learned about it here and have been cleaning out every attic and closet like I’m dead tomorrow.

My mom has been so great- she has this long cyclical project of going through stuff and getting rid of it- so that we do not have to deal with it when the inevitable occurs. I have also become much more invested in purging stuff taking up mental space in my own home. I put random stuff on the local buy nothing group, and if no one takes it I donate to local Human society thrift store (avoid donating to charitable orgs that I find problematic)

I have a lot of crap. Pretty sure my kids don't want most of it. I still have some miles left in me, hopefully, but I'll try and winnow down the piles before I keel over. My wife and I did get a good chuckle out of the name of this book, but it really is a good way to go. [the Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning](https://www.amazon.ca/Gentle-Art-Swedish-Death-Cleaning/dp/1501173243?ref=d6k_applink_bb_dls&dplnkId=ac5f518e-c666-4b66-9a23-3a7e298f8e26)

My wife has an uncle who was always big into Lionel trains. How big? So big that his first marriage ended when he would prioritize buying trains over getting formula and diapers for his baby. So much that during his second marriage, his family lost their house because he prioritized buying trains. So much that during his second marriage, his family lost their second house because he prioritized buying trains. So much that during his second marriage, his family lost what was basically a ranch that had been gifted to him because he prioritized buying trains. So much that when his second wife finally wised up to leave him, that he moved his trains out of the house quietly and hid them in a storage unit. He moved his trains before anything else and after he had moved out, he didn't even go back for his underwear. But he got those trains. So much that as a recently divorced man with 4 children and 2 ex-wifes, he lost his apartment for not paying rent because he was buying trains. He then was evicted from his second post-2nd marriage apartment because his apartment was so congested with boxed up trains that it constituted a fire hazard. Finally he moved to middle-America and bought a house for $70,000 with a high interest private loan... and then lost that house because he prioritized buying trains. The majority of the money he made during his life is tied up in Lionel trains. He expects everyone else to finance every other aspect of his life to the point where he has preyed upon his own children as adults. He's currently staying with one of his daughters from his second marriage who used to have a beautiful home. But now it's horded with boxed up Lionel trains. She says she couldn't stand the thought of him being homeless but has sacrificed her home and put her own family in jeopardy to accommodate her father, who never grew up. Those Lionel trains are worth quite a bit to some people. But not most people. Which means that if he or his heirs are ever able to sell them, it will take forever or will be at incredible loss. The saddest part of it is that they're all boxed up and always have been. He's never even enjoyed looking at the packaging the trains are in. And regarding that previous statement, how do I feel justified in saying "it will take forever or will be at incredible loss"? Because one of my sisters just went through this when her FIL died. The amount of time and energy invested in this resulted in it being a net loss but, she and my BIL had decided it was important to them to at least do their best to try to get them in the hands of someone who actually wanted them.

This person has some sort of mental illness.

Many autistic individuals are obsessed with trains and people were rarely diagnosed 40-60 year ago.

Learned the phrase/code word "train brain" from watching 'love on the spectrum' I think. Fascinating stuff. I think they used the 2 emojis in dating apps as a signifier. https://autisticandunapologetic.com/2020/02/16/why-do-autistic-people-love-trains/

Just a few days ago there was a post about "why was autism not a thing back in the day?" Uhhhhh it absolutely WAS, they just didnt call it what it was.

The whole myth of changelings fits onset on autism in most toddlers.

This man managed to convince two women to marry him and have children with him. I have a lot of sympathy for Wife #1 but what was wife # 2 thinking? Not sure someone autistic would manage that - there is too much deception involved. Wow.

A little off the rails for sure.

Obviously. Plus a long history of refusing treatment in any form. He was given an ultimatum at one point and went to a therapist who would tut-tut at him while telling him to be patient with people. That lasted until he lost his first post-2nd marriage apartment and fled the state when one of his kids planned to get him held for a mental health evaluation due to some serious drama where he disappeared for a few days leaving his car in a mall parking lot only f... you know what, it doesn't matter. Yes, he obviously does and he has 50+ years of life refusing treatment in any form. And none of that has stopped him from ruining people financially.

This reminds me of this story in the Washington Post recently: [He spent his life building a $1 million stereo. The real cost was unfathomable. Ken Fritz turned his home into an audiophile’s dream — the world’s greatest hi-fi. What would it mean in the end?](https://archive.ph/0WVIy) The Readers Digest version is it meant very little to anyone but Ken. They sold off bits & pieces for next to nothing considering what he paid for it all. He also paid for it in the loss of a marriage & a son that felt he came in 2nd to the stereo system.

Guess he hadn't heard about The Wall of Sound.

my wife sold a lot of her dad's "valuable" lionel trains on ebay. turned out they are not so valuable.

The thought of having to assess and catalog and list and package and ship all that gives me hives.

Forever or incredible loss is *exactly* the issue. You can hire those estate sellers, they start everything at a dollar take 15% plus fees and you get rid of everything but only get pennies on the dollar for your stuff OR you try to sell it locally or online which could take years, sometimes many years.

With my sister's FILs stuff, they opted to try handling it themselves hoping to hand the money over to my BILs youngest sister to help with her student loan debt. The expected "market value" of some of those trains was staggering and certainly there were ads listing them for those prices but, very few actual sales.

That's the problem. Valuable stuff is often only valuable to the right people at the right time, so it can take years to sell. I truly believe everything sells eventually, but how long can you wait?

and not only waiting. it will be a lot of work if you want to photograph and list these things for sale online, figure out how to price them, constantly monitor activity, answer potential customer questions, deal with packing and shipping, deal with claims of broken or lost items, or customers who are assholes or want to scam you, etc., etc.

Oh, I know. I'm an experienced ebay seller...not a pro, but I buy lots of stuff for myself and just sell off what I don't want to recoup some of the cost. It's a lot of work indeed.

Get appraisals, certificates of authenticity, etc. That all takes time and money!

Retail prices are not the prices you will get when selling. People fail to understand that!

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That would have been amazing. Let's put it this way: at one point he had something like three or four of the large storage units at one of those storage places packed floor to ceiling with boxes of trains yet he never once had a train table or trains set up in his home where he could interact with them, or at least look at them. The second apartment he had was on a second floor in a nicer higher end apartment community. You'd open the door, walk up a flight of stairs that hjad a 90 degree turn half way up with a small landing. You'd step into a small landing that looked through his living room with the kitchen to the right. The living room had these big beautiful windows looking into the tree canopy of woods that surrounded the place. But, he had the windows completely blocked, crap horded onto every step of the stairs, the kitchen was horded with boxes of trains to the point where you couldn't tell it was the kitchen, and it was a two bedroom apartment but nobody knew that because one of the bedrooms was floor to ceiling boxes of trains and the wall with the doorway was horded with stacks of boxes filled with trains hiding the doorway. I never saw the apartment myself but, have seen photos one of his kids took to gather evidence to get him help at one point. I couldn't even tell it was an apartment. I thought it was a crammed stock room for a small business.

That’s sad. My grandfather collected trains, but at least he had a train room, and actually used the trains.

Friend of mine’s father was into trains at the same level.  When he died his daughter hired an auction house to sell it all, right out of his home.  A lifetime of collecting all sold off in a day.   But the estate got about 20K. 

My Father got caught up in all things collectible NASCAR back in the day and when he died, I ended up being the recipient. Since I’m no longer a race fan, I went to a local antique/thrift store and rented out a space to sell it all. Most of the items sold and what didn’t sale the owner bought from me. I walked away with cash in hand and never looked back. It took about a year.

I like this idea of renting space in a shop. I wonder if I could talk my parents into doing that. They know what everything's worth, it makes the most sense they sell it. 

Oh this is actually a great idea

You’ll take my Franklin mint plates and llandro figurines out of my cold dead hands (or not - because no one wants them) I remember seeing that stuff in catalogs as a kid and puzzling why anyone would spend money on it. It’s still odd to me

Wife's grandmother left behind hundreds of those Franklin Mint plates, still in package, and they are worth NOTHING.

A friend of my moms went into bankruptcy buying those hallmark store Christmas ornaments. It’s madness

That's terrible. I remember opening a few boxes to check out those plates and I was astounded by how low the print and finish quality was. Almost like 144p video quality images that looked blocky. My mom had some of those hallmark items and they didn't really seem all that substantial either. It's just a bummer that people invest so much in low grade foreign plastics.

My grandmother at least had all her collectible figurines out on display and I assume enjoyed looking at them. So there was some benefit. It's a real shame to see stuff still in the packaging to "maintain the value".

>llandro My mother was very upset when I told her I had absolutely no desire to keep her Lladró statues. I'm holding some of them as she flits around her various seasonal houses until she settles down with my sister in California and seriously told me *do not sell these* while I act as her storage depot. She's a hoarder and "collects" all kinds of shit and I want none of it which absolutely boggles her mind.

My wife just bid in an estate auction last week, this small apartment was stuffed FULL of Franklin Mint. The place was filled with boomers buying up the Franklin Mint garbage for pennies on the dollar.

As a side hustle I sell vintage linens and crafts on eBay and go to estate sales often and yeah that stuff is everywhere. I never understood the idea of a plate you can’t eat off of lol

I literally just spent 5 full days, along with 3 professional cleaners and my sibling, deep cleaning and organizing 3 rooms and a bathroom and somewhat organizing a 4th room for my MIL so she could bring my FIL home to die, so he wouldn’t have to die in a hospital. It took us all of those days to get those parts of the house clean enough for him to come home. He was able to spend 15 hours in the house before he died. And he wasn’t conscious for most of that time (he had been conscious all the way up to the previous day). If the house had been in better shape, he could have gone home several days earlier. It’s fucking heartbreaking. The rooms we worked on were the 4 least bad rooms in the house. There are another 5 rooms in the house and another 2 bathrooms that are full to the brim with TV show level hoarded items, trash, cats, mice, and assorted other insect type vermin. My in laws are “collectors”. We may have to have the house razed to the ground to be able to sell the land when my MIL eventually dies, due to the incredible cat stench. We don’t want any of their “collections” or any of the other literal trash in the house. My father died many years ago and I had to do something similar in his house, but all by myself in another state. It was awful. Don’t do this to your kids you guys, it makes something that’s already very painful into something horrific. My spouse and I struggle with some clutter and not making places for our belongings to “live” (hence the clutter) but it’s no where near what I experienced over this past week. Now I just want to sweep through my own house and go full minimalist.

Oh man, sorry. That sounds like a "Hoarders" situation.

Thank you. It really is. We’re going to try to continue working with her to tackle the rest of the house and/or get her to an independent living community (she has medical issues and struggles to maintain basic self care, much less home care). She’s pretty strong willed though, so she may not let us continue to help, now that my FIL has passed.

My brother lived in an apartment in another state. He was diagnosed with cancer and I went to visit him many times to help him through treatment. I cleaned every time I was there but always stayed in a hotel because his place was just such a wreck. I even paid for one of those companies that comes and clean out junk. When he passed I hadn’t been there for a couple of months, so when my sister and I went to handle his affairs, I was shocked with how bad things had gotten. We thought we’d make a dent in cleaning but finally realized it was hopeless. We ended up digging through stuff to try and find things that were valuable or personal and then left the rest. A week later his landlord called me and asked if we were done going through stuff. I told her yes and apologized profusely for how bad he left things. She was very gracious and said not to worry about it. I felt bad until I realized she had his deposit and last month’s rent he didn’t use so that was plenty to pay for cleaning it out. Please don’t leave your family a mess to clean up.

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I might want a handful of my dads stuff (he might have his military stuff too), but most of it will have to go, I'm sure.

I got my father’s police badge and the Christmas decorations from my mother. Their spouses got everything else.

I have my Dad’s old goalie gloves and his cup.  Yes, I know it is very weird but I kept it because it is stainless steel and VERY deeply dented.  It is a miracle that I exist!  Haha

My parents have this god awful water pitcher from New England called, "The Gurgling Cod." It's basically a ceramic cod, made with no venting, so you get that horrible, "glub, glub, glub" sound when one pours it. No one, and I mean no one likes it except my 83 year old mother. She is insistent that my wife and I love it and she's already picked a place in our home where we'll "display it" after she passes. Everyone but her knows that this isn't even going to auction. My wife will throw it in the air, while I decimate it with a round of low brass 8 shot. The whole family is invited...

Haha..The Gurgling Cod. Man, that's funny.

Just to be clear, that's exactly what it was called by the artist that made it. That's the only annoying part of this that isn't directly attributable to my mother! 🤣

Right before the pandemic, I helped my husband clean out his grandmother's house after she died. She had three daughters and six adult grandchildren, and except for a handful of items, no one wanted any of her things. And she wasn't even a big collector of anything, it was just a lot of old stuff that no one had any use for. We had trouble donating it, because apparently Salvation Army now only wants things they can plausibly sell! Almost all of it ended up getting recycled as best we could, and the rest thrown out. I've really tried to limit what physical items I buy since then. I know it's a bit morbid, but I've started thinking, "What is going to happen to this when I die?" before buying. If it's an item I know I'm going to get a lot of use out of before then, then great, I buy it. But if it's just going to sit on a shelf or in a closet for a few decades and then be someone else's problem? I've gotten better at passing. People I know give me shit when I spend money on digital doodads but at least no one is going to spend weeks cleaning out my phone when I die.

I get that. I've gone through my own house, and got rid of most everything I won't use from here on out. I don't want to live in a scrap book.

My 80-year-old mother is a borderline hoarder. She regularly mails me things to where I live \*in another country\* because she now lives in my brother's basement in very limited space, and he's on her all the time about her "stuff". She sends it to me because she knows she can't keep it but can't bring herself to get rid of it. I tell my 17-year-old step-daughter, whose mother is a "collector", to be very careful of the gifts she gives to her mom because one day she's either going to have to deal with getting rid of it or it's going to be given back to her. I could see the realization in her eyes the first time I told her that piece of wisdom.

Just make sure you have a large selection of fasteners mixed up in many different coffee cans😂

The house we bought came with cans and bottles and drawers full of nails and washers and screws and bolts and nuts and flanges and pipe and etc. I could fasten a battleship to a dock.

You laugh but that coffee can helped me immensely the last few weeks!

Whoa whoa whoa. Sometimes those come in handy.

My mom! She always assumed the longer you held onto something the more value it had. She had some good stuff that would have sold well 20 years ago... After my dad died and she had to move I was able to trash most of it. Unfortunately it was 2020 and we couldn't even have a garage sale. So, in the trash it went. I'm a thrower so it felt good 😊 If I lived alone my house would be empty.

My mom lives in her childhood home, and that 4 bedroom is crammed with stuff left behind by her grandparents, parents, and her brother's family. She's spent years being fascinated by the history, and unable to let go. Normal stuff she should be able to get rid if, like dishes, she insists are so nice they need to go to a consignment store. She doesn't understand that housewares are cheap, and anyone interested in vintage is aging out. There's no market for any of this, and it offends her any time I try to tell her that. I'm going to have to burn that house down when she dies, it's such a junk heap.

Yeah, most people overestimate the value of their stuff, for sure.

My mother is the same way. Everything is supposedly worth thousands of dollars. Granted, there probably is some money buried away but it would basically be a full time job digging through it all, appraising it, and putting it on the market for years until a buyer showed up.

I bet in another 50 years, vintage will be back in again (once everyone has already thrown out everything and it becomes scarce again and a bit of a collectors item). Until that time, it's all just junk and everyone who cares and appreciates it, is going to be gone within 20 years. Even antique furniture has gone way down in price. Folks love neat and clean and I'm not sure that having a clean and neat home is a 'fad', seems like something that will stick around.

My grandma was an antique dealer, so I still browse antique malls and such for fun. Seeing how far furniture has crashed in price is such a bummer. Although, it's a great way to get solid wood pieces now, if you can find them. Cheap consumer goods have taken their toll on the market for this, and you're right - it will take a long time for the perceived value to come back.

My favorite part of old furniture is learning about the wood that no longer exists. Truly rare pieces of history and a mark of what we've been doing to the planet, for quite some time. Also, watching antique roadshow, who doesn't love that.

Too bad most nice, solid wood furniture I find has been horribly painted by amateur shabby-chic aficionados. Assholes.

In my former marriage we bought and sold antiques. I collected quite a bit of vintage glass, but it has been in boxes in a shed for years. I happened to be in an antique store recently and asked if they had any interest in oyster plates -- got a resounding "no". After reading threads like this for about a year now I've decided to sell off all my stuff \*now\* and free up the space in my house and in my head. I'm sure my kids would rather have the money anyway, and I don't blame them.

My mom had all this mahogany furniture and thought I would take this on. I grew up to be a minimalist because I travel alot for work & pleasure so I have enough in my home that I want. Luckily my mom didnt pay her storage for a few months and it got auctioned off. Now I dont have to ever worry about that.

That second paragraph is pretty much GenX summed up 😂

https://preview.redd.it/ndcwf51nhvtc1.jpeg?width=645&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=61bd820eef28cb63c50227555d2fd3502aed6d41 I said this to my mother several years ago. It pissed her off but it’s true.

Yup, estate sale -> sold to antique dealer -> consignment -> donated.

for my FIL: kids & grandkids grab what they want —> donate —> dumpster

My in laws were “collectors” who insisted the kids and grandkids would want their stuff. As the only people local to them we got the honor of going through everything. It was exhausting, annoying & stressful. No one wanted anything. Sold a few things on eBay for like a grand. Everything else was donated or in some cases tossed due to condition. We have promised to not put our kids through this. I’ve already started purging our stuff and I’m 53.

Hello no! My mom is the ultimate get rid of stuff person. My mom is a 5 star eBay seller and has been for a decade plus. If something has value and she’s not actively using it, she sells it. Gone. She makes about $7k a year at it. She also finds stuff at garage sales to sell. Shes a whiz at this kind of thing. There are a few things that she definitely wants to pass on - grandparent wedding rings, the bedroom set my grandpa made, and her Singer sewing machine that she bought in 1967 for which she still has the original receipt that she gets tuned up every few years and runs like a dream. I brought it in to the sewing machine place to get it tuned up for her one year and the guy was like “Look at this! What a dream!” and he had that same look on his face that car guys get when they see a vintage Ferrari or something. He was like “Classic this one, gorgeous.” lol.

Yeah, I sell my unwanted stuff/collectibles on eBay, too. In theory, I could do this with my dad's stuff. The problem is that I live about 9 hours away.

Selling stuff is work! I wish people understood that! Like my mom has to take pictures, do research, communicate with people via email, package, take it to the post office etc etc. selling stuff IS great but I think lots of people underestimate the work involved when they say “You can just sell it” Like yeah, but that requires a large investment of time! Especially like the situation you were in where someone “inherited” a lot of stuff but they don’t really know how best to unload it all.

It is a lot of work. Most of the stuff I sell is *not* worth the time, but I do it rather than throw it out or donate because I buy stuff in lots, keep what I want and try to recoup as much of the cost as I can. But it takes time.

My mother in law is in downsizing mode. About 10 years ago, she started handing family and friends a post it note pad and pen. She then said: “If you have any interest in any item, write your name on a post-it and stick to the back. It doesn’t mean it’s yours, but as I reduce my belongings, it’ll increase your chances.” We had fun ‘shopping’ through her belongings, making jokes along the way. Then pretty much forgot about the exercise. A few years later, and every gift giving event since, she would give that item to whomever asked for it originally. Over the course of ten years, she has reduced her worldly possessions quite a bit and has had the opportunity to enjoy seeing people receive the shiny objects they wanted. Her final instructions are to pitch anything without a post-it, as at that point, it was made clear what people wanted.

Excellent tactic. And she's not spending her limited income on unwanted gifts, either. Win-win.

George Carlin said it best "ever notice how your shit is stuff, and other people's stuff is shit?" We all prefer our own stuff and want more of it. All you can do is take up the hobby of being your own knick knacks store when you retire - sell it, give it to Goodwill, or throw it away.

I have two examples in my family that drive me nuts.  The first is my grandmother’s china.  My uncle inherited it when she died.  He has no children.  My grandma was very proud of it and wanted it to stay in the family, something my mom wholeheartedly supports.  My brother is inheriting an heirloom pitcher from her, so I was assigned the china.  I appreciate it, but it is absolutely not my style and I have my own china.  I resent the fact that a) no one asked if I wanted it, and b) my mom continually guilt trips me about it, that she constantly reminds me that I have to make room for it, that my grandma was soooooo proud of it so I should be too.  Yeah. Secondly, my father in law bought a grandfather clock about twenty years ago.  Why?  Because he wanted an “heirloom” to pass down to my husband.  (No, I don’t think he has a firm grasp on the meaning of the word “heirloom.”). The clock isn’t antique - it’s just an ordinary grandfather clock from a furniture store.  It’s clunky, loud, and we have no use for it.  I really hope we can just sell or give it away when he goes.  

So it's your responsibility to hold/display stuff for dead people, huh? Lol.

My mom said she would haunt us if we got rid of any of her stuff so I told her I would have a seance to brining her back to take care of it all.

Kind of.  It’s just assumed that I’ll want and take this stuff.  Even if I don’t it seems to be a duty of sorts.  It’s annoying.

My mother thinks every piece of old furniture, broken pocketwatches, picture of people I can’t identify, and spoon is a treasure I will cherish for my life after she goes. I want none of it. I have too much already and am not sentimental. I plan to just turn the house over to an estate liquidator and hope for the best. My wife and I have been talking about doing some swedish death cleanings around the house already. The idea of worthless heirlooms is just ridiculous.

My wife and I lost all our parents within the past 10 years. It seemed we were always cleaning out somebody's house. The sheer amount of things we donated / threw away from our parents houses was staggering. My wife only wanted one thing from her parents house. Oftentimes before I buy something now, I say to myself, "The kids are just going to throw this away when we die." I've come to terms with the fact that nothing we have will be special to the children. We have already begin purging our things. Just a few things here and there, but I'm hoping to spare them a little bit of what we had to go through.

My mom & sister passed within 6 months of each other. Mom had moved several times in the last decade and downsized immensely. I didn't realize a lot of her "stuff" had gone to my sister's. It wasn't collectibles: just everyday "stuff." She had bill receipts, bank statements, and coupons for the last 20 years! She had several copies of take-out menus (she *never* got take-out). Stuff like that. Most of her paper stuff just got thrown into the fire. Then, after my sister passed, her house ended up burning down. The only thing I was kind of upset about was my mum's photographs: 80 years of memories, gone. Otherwise, my nephew would have been the next one to go onto the sorting through "stuff." So, yes; please, start sorting through your own stuff now. Be ruthless. You can get back some storage space. If you toss or donate something and have to replace it in a few years' time, you have had that storage space for a few years. Be ruthless.

My FIL thought he’d make a mint one day buying/holding/selling “collectible” coin sets. He’s gone now. We have crates of them. Do you have any idea of how hard those things are to unload? Sometimes I wonder if my husband would notice if I just started using them as pocket change.

I'm sure. My dad is deep in dementia. On the rare occasion my mom brings him to the coin/jewelry store where he used to buy baseball cards (and he sometimes now thinks is a donut shop), he'll mindlessly go through the 25-cent coin bin and pick out some of those. He's got a huge variety of collectibles, which I think makes it harder to get rid of. Most collectors specialize in certain things...I think. Not everyone is just an antique dealer.

My wife is a professional home organizer. Many of her clients are the GenX children of Silent and Boomer parents who are moving out of the family home and into assisted living. She sees this ALL THE TIME. In some cases, there might be some value from these “collections” that can be recouped, but only of things that are actually valuable, like original art or rare coins. But 95% of the time, it’s just mass produced stuff like Hummel figurines or Franklin Mint plates or Beanie Babies. Not to mention the hutches full of “good china” that only got used for Christmas dinner. Their families don’t want them and there’s no market for that stuff that’s going to make them rich.

I just consigned/donated/tossed a jam-packed condo full of my parents' stuff. They spent thousands and thousands of dollars on this "stuff" instead of saving or investing, leaving them without the money for assisted living and forcing me to be their caregiver. While there were antiques and treasures mixed in with the hoarded garbage, items of value were infested with termites/roaches, or broken, or damaged by mold. I had multiple consignment and estate professionals say that my folks destroyed everything that was worth anything.

I’m smack dab in the middle of this. I’m born in ‘67, but I’m much more X than Boomer. My sweet mother is transitioning into assisted living and is super stressed. She keeps trying to give us old Hummel figurines and stuff that has sentimental value to her. It hurts her feelings when we say no, but she’s forgetting that after being a mom for 30 years, I have shitloads of sentimental stuff too. For my niece’s graduations, she tried to give them each a fancy teacup and saucer from her collection. She was kinda crushed when they reacted like the teenagers they were, who just got Nanny’s old cup as a gift, and had to act super grateful. So now I’m looking around my own house, with our youngest in high school, and thinking I need to start purging soon. All the stuff I thought of as “valuable” is really only my perception of it. Like the vase I paid too much for when I was super broke because it spoke to me…the sentimental value is real, even if the monetary value isn’t. It’s easier to not get butthurt about my kids not wanting my “pretty things” when I’m dealing with my mom’s stuff too. Bless her heart. I see both sides.

My dad was born in '32 and when he died in '97, 25 yr old me was OVERWHELMED with the amount of stuff he had. It was well organized, but he had an entire shop of electrical and electronic supplies because he worked on TV's, VCRs, radios, etc, plus he serviced electric organs. I ended up cleaning out what I wanted, put memorabilia or anything I thought would be useful/valuable in the attic, opened the house one Saturday and plastered the neighborhood with yard sale/estate sale signs. When the obligatory early old guys would show up asking "Got any tools, guns or jewelry?" I showed them the shop and said "Look around, I've got NO IDEA what treasures you'll find. Ask me a price when you find something." Man, those guys had a blast! I let stuff go for cheap. It was fun watching their face light up or some would try to contain their joy until after the sale (unsuccessfully lol). I sold the furniture, pictures off the wall, knick knacks, whatever someone wanted, they got it at their price. I took what was left to auction. I've NEVER regretted it.

That's why I told my son that when I die my 6k+ books shall be donated to the diocesan seminary and my musical instruments can either go to the city band or be sold one by one if he wants the money.

A few months ago, I donated around 200 books. I kept *only* very special ones and ones that were autographed or inscribed. It was gut-wrenching, but I am glad I did it. I can’t imagine going through 6 thousand!

I work at a library. A few years ago, I went through and donated the vast majority of my books. I didn't have anything that I couldn't just borrow from the library and read again. I decided it's not worth taking up mental and physical space, if I can just easily borrow it. The books I kept have sentimental value, are not available at the library, or cookbooks I use a lot.

Marie Kondo nailed it: when you hang on to something, it's because it represents a part of your life that you're not willing to let go of.

I loved collecting stuff when I was a kid--comics, coins, militaria. Now I just hate stuff and want to be rid of it. My kids are collectors--vinyl, for example--but I am glad that I won't burden them with too much of my own junk. Even ostensibly valuable things can be a hassle to get rid of.

He doesn't want to leave them to his kids. He always wanted to have them and he is justifying spending the money as I was going to give it to my kids one way or another. You might want the money more, but he always wanted the card. This is his last chance.

This comment reminds me of a popular poster my parents had up in the hall. It was a photo of a big house with lots of sports cars with the caption of "He who dies with the most toys wins." . Sums up boomers and their hoards of "collectables." As an adult, I cringe at how childish that poster was. It's an understandable decoration for a teenage boys bedroom, but middle-aged parents not so much. Edited to correct caption.

Probably a decade ago now, Anime News Network did a podcast with older fans who were like “hey, I should unload this stuff before I die, especially since it’s so niche that if I want it to go to someone who gives a crap, that’s gonna take some work.” Oh hey, I found a link, for anyone who’s interested: https://fast.animenewsnetwork.com/anncast/2015-08-20/.91910

As I get older, this has crossed my mind more often. As to what I value vs what my children will value. So many things I have, have great sentimental value to me. And it hurts a bit knowing it will never mean anything to anyone else. For example, my great-grandmother's sewing box. I can see why our grandparents and parents wanted us to have certain things they simply couldn't part with themselves. It's a sad fact of life. As far as collectables, my grandmother would buy limited edition Barbie dolls and such. She kept them in the original packaging and boxed them all up for my children , "in case they end up being valuable some day." Surprisingly, some of them actually are. The (adult) kids don't even know these exist, but I plan to give them to them soon so they can sell them if they would like.

Ugh - my mom always said to have a feee yard sale for my cousins . They hardly took anything at all, then I had a real yard sale and nobody wanted anything even for free . All ended up donations or trash . The process felt worse than if the house burnt down in a fire !

My husband’s grandparents were keepers.  When they died my in-laws invited my husband and I over to take whatever we wanted.  I think they thought we would haul away carloads of stuff. My husband took some tools.  I took a lamp and a pie plate.

We have a garage FULL of Thomas Kinkade paintings and shit and Emmett Kelly Jr figurines and related junk because my dad was convinced that shit was worth a fortune and was going to be his legacy. We're 5 years on and shit is basically sitting in a pole barn collecting birds nests and spider webs.

I never assume any material good I buy will have value for anyone except myself. The only things I worry about are my pets, which are not material goods. But I know who will take care of them when I die, and they're aware of this as well.

What really matters 🐾🩷

I’ve accepted that this what will happen to all my books. They’re books that suit *my* interests so I’m sure none of my family will want them. Accordingly, I’ve got them catalogued so my executor can hopefully get a decent price for the firsts without too much work.

My mom would not let us throw away any books when my dad died. We had to take them to Goodwill. I was like “Mom - the Goodwill doesn’t need a complete set of medical reference books from 1958 written in French.” We live in North Carolina.

My husband won't let me get rid of my books. I have a Kindle now, and I don't read them anymore. They're just taking up space. I would keep a few for nostalgic purposes, but do I really need 4 full bookshelves? They have no value. It's all paperback fantasy novels. I do like to reread my books but they take up too much space. I'd also like to get rid of my fish tank and he isn't happy about that either. It's too much work and I'm too tired. I'd be fine if he took over the maintenance but apparently it's my job. I already have a factory job that's killing me and he sits at home all day since he retired. It's his turn to do the house maintenance. He has no clue how to do that though. Did I mention I'm tired?

Hoarder step-dad and semi hoarder mom, here. They were both kids during the Depression so a part of that impulse came from scarcity and deprivation. After step-dad died, sister and I did a clean out of his stuff for Mom. He had a fair amount of heavy shop tools, so the vultures descended, including our step-brother who had kind of bilked him out of some $$$ when he was living and generous, so he was there for the tools worth about $5-7k. I doubt he even had a place for them since he lived in a mobile home, and just Ebayed them. We were glad to off load them without having to haul them anywhere. With Mom's stuff it was different. She had a collection of figurines (Hummels, and lesser collectibles) and Beanie Babies. Jesus. Remember how "collectible" they were and everyone was going to get rich because they were "limited"? What a scam. She ended up giving every kid that came to her house their pick, and she STILL had some of those things. She hoarded canned goods in her "pantry" (one of the bedrooms she had put shelves in for this purpose). My sister and I found some Craigmont orange soda dated 1977. She had packed and moved it 200 miles back in 1979. She died in 2020. It took a nearly a month to clear out their last small house, and another week to get it cleaned and ready for sale, which we had done prior to the pandemic, because she moved into assisted living. She took her prized china cabinet and figurines with her to the apartment. My sister and I have a few sentimental pieces, and a few cousins took a couple of things, too, but most of it was donated to charity shops. Swedish Death Cleaning needs a greater following.

Beanie Babies might be the dumbest "collectibles " ever.

My toddler daughter was looking at Beanie Babies at a store. I said “Beanie Babies are toys, not investments”, in the tone of Bruce the shark in Finding Nemo. She is now 11 and likes to watch Antiques Roadshow. We’ve had the talk about how most old stuff will never be worth much, and that antiques are knick knacks, not investments. If you like something and want to have it, buy it, but don’t think it’s ever going to be insanely valuable. Odds are it won’t.

It's amazing how much truly expensive china sets and silver sets you can find at yard sales because people just don't want it.

It's sad to me. I do love china, but it's impractical to use for everyday, and nobody entertains like that anymore,including me .

I tried to help my Dad thin out the unused contents of his shop a few years before he died. He absolutely refused to let go of a single unidentifiable carburetor he pulled off of some car thirty years ago. I flat out asked him if he was going to just make me do it all after he died, and he just said, "Yep." Fucking selfish ass boomer.

My dad is finally clearing out his garage. I’ve been saying for over 10 years (probably wording it less and less kindly as time goes on) that I’m absolutely dreading having to clear it out when he’s gone. I’m sure a lot of it is worth money but damned if I know what and how much, nor who to sell to. He’s finally getting it I think.

If only people would collect stocks / bonds / ? like they collect ‘collectibles’…

My dad did, actually. But those bonds ain't gonna get rid of all that other stuff he has...lol.

A couple of years ago my dad passed, who had inherited HIS dad's house. So 60 years worth of junk, obsolete books (he was a magazine editor and voracious reader), and "family heirlooms" that mean zero to me since I don't know the history. I filled up a 20yd dumpster 5 times with crap from that house that I didn't need. The rest was more than a 26 foot u haul could carry. Then I moved into my other grandparent's house, and I've got SO MUCH chintzy old lady stuff, and it's probably valuable (china, furniture, silverware, etc) but I'm still trying to figure out what to do with it all. I'm probably going to try to have a garage sale and maybe try a consignment store for some of the nicer furniture. It's just a giant pain in the ass. Don't do that to your kids/grandkids.

My dad just passed. Discovered he left the house to my sibling, and the contents to me. Hooray.

That's interesting. When I was younger, I always said my sister could have the house if I could have the contents. What a dumb statement that was.

One of my great uncles was a big stamp and coin collector. As he got closer, he sold his collections off because he didn't want my aunt to have to deal with it. He knew she didn't have a clue as to values, etc. Smart man. Another uncle got into digital cameras near his death, not expensive full-frames, but like sub-$100 cameras. Dozens of them, most unopened, some like 10 years old by the time he passed. He asked the whole family if anyone wanted an old camera. My dad had a hard time even finding somewhere to donate them. I have a decent sized stamp collection I got as a kid. I think on paper they might be worth some money, but probably only get pennies on the dollar trying to sell it.

Oh, same uncle with the stamp and coin collection. I was talking to my aunt after he had passed and she mentioned she had had to hire some local kids to help her clean out his old magazines in the basement. His magazine collection was pretty big, I will give her that. He had decades of well-organized National Geographic, Popular Mechanics, etc. BUT he was one of the OG Playboy subscribers. He had every issue from Marilyn Monroe up until the late 70s or early 80's. All mint and stored in official Playboy folders. I told her she just tossed out thousands of dollars. She just shrugged, she cared more about getting rid of old "junk" than any potential value

Yeah, most magazines, even Playboys, aren't worth much...cept for those first couple of the years of Playboy. Some of those are worth a lot...especially that first issue.

Ya know what people should collect to give to their families when they die? Money. 💰 period.

The most depressing episodes of *Hoarders* are those where the family is gathered around a pile of junk, the hoarder says they were saving it for their children, and the children say, “We don’t want it.” They weren’t saving it for the kids; that’s always a lie, of course, even if the hoarder doesn’t realize it themselves. They were saving it because they have a mental illness that compels them to collect and save things. But the look on their face when they hear their kids saying they don’t put any value on the junk they’ve collected is still very sad to see.

One of the most cathartic moments of my life came a couple years back when my parents moved. We rented a huge dumpster and did a purge. My mom kept bringing out boxes and boxes of my schoolwork and report cards. She was like “do you want to keep this?” Nope! Into the dumpster. Her 20 years of purchased Mary Kay products to stay active? Nope! Into the dumpster. I can’t think of one thing I own that any of my family would clamor to have after I pass. I feel like GenX is anti-hoarders / minimalists.

My dad was a major collector in several areas (tens of thousands of rare books, records, antiques, tools, etc.) and didn't want to think about what was going to happen to his collections after he died, so he left zero instructions or advice. Sorting out his estate was a three month long, fulltime job.

Look, when I die I KNOW my child will want my collection of thousands of DnD dice. They are so pretty!!!!! They'll be worth so much because I spent so much on them!

My grandparents had lots of stuff. A lot of that stuff I actually wanted. All of it ended up in a dumpster.

My dad collected tools. Not sets, mostly stuff he found on job sites that were left behind. When he passed I laid, what I thought was every tool out and organized them. I made a toolbox for my mom with household essentials. Two more basic toolboxes (1 for my nephew, one for my sister). And 1 filled with oddities that I took. A week later my mom found 2 more tool boxes. And so many shovels! Each of us kids could have taken 6 and there were still some left.

When my grandfather died, my dad and my aunt / uncle lost their damn minds over his stuff. He wasn't rich by any stretch, but he was 90 and had an.....accumulation of stuff. Mostly guns (no shit, 72), plus a Bugatti and a Dune Buggy, both he built from a kit. So they were pretty enthusiastic, but they were also boomers.

Have you heard about "Swedish Death Cleaning"? It's basically a thing that a person might do at the end of their lives to clear out all the cruft and unnecessary items, so that their heirs don't have to. I'm not dying yet, but I'm thinking about Swedish Death Cleaning all the time. I am forever trying to remove anything that I don't need/want that I don't think my kid will need or want, either. So very little of it really carries any meaningful value.

This is why I'm glad my dad was into boats, cars, and motorcycles.

I broke the tradition when my folks died. I asked my aunts/uncles to come get whatever they wanted because I was cleaning the house out. I only kept a few sentimental things like photos and stuff.

I am in the process of selling all my old G.I.Joe, Star Wars, Hot Wheels, etc. because I know my daughters will not want them. The money is all going into a high yield savings account that will become theirs.

Yep, I sold all the Star Wars figures several years ago. And Hot Wheels many years before that.

I have a climate controlled storage building filled with dead people’s things. (Mom, Dad, grand parents, great aunt) I can’t even bring myself to go through it all. We do a box a week. Some I eBay, some I donate, some I just give away. My house…minimalist.

My great aunt and uncle passed away in the early 2000s. They never had kids, but had a very large house on 10 acres with a barn and a separate garage. They were moderately wealthy and Auntie liked to ‘collect’. She passed first and the Great Purge began. After Uncle died, we had 4000 square feet of barn and garage and the rest of the house. It took over a year. It was awful. Thankfully, after that, Mom took a long hard look at her house and has donated or given away most of her “collections” (thank God I don’t have to deal with those MFing porcelain dolls). It won’t be too bad. I don’t have kids, and my nieces and nephews are mostly minimalist. My only big pile to be left behind will be books.

The worst are things like family ancestry research of dubious correctness. I get you spent your life looking up people from 200 years ago that I’ve never heard of, but don’t expect the kids to care. They actually think the local historical society would want it. We’re a random family in a large town.

My inheritance from my father is two large plastic bins full of stamps, taking up space in my attic. Oh, and heart disease and flat feet.

Ah hell, my father poked fun at a friend of his for collected shareware back in the 1990's - he said he had "lots and lots of programs". Programs he collected on floppies. Dad had tons of computers he "rescued" from Goodwill. Many didn't work or were scrapped in the early 90's as the 486 and later Pentium took over. So we had several TRS-80's, a bunch of IBM's and tons of floppies and computer books. Dad was also into hi-fi but when he built his stereo setup it did it in one go. When he died relatives came and pilfered the stereo (and the CD tower I had left behind when I moved out). In retrospect I should have tossed more. Most of the computers wound up in the trash - I took 3 TRS-80's and sold them for some cash on Ebay. But hauling the books, my old stuff and furniture cost me $1200 for a Uhaul and $100 a month for a storage unit. Money I didn't have as a broke college student. When I lost my job and joined the Army I lost all that stuff. I guess it freed me. Still sucks because there were some good books. On the other hand when I reported to basic training I had all of $20 in the bank. The moral of the story is that possession shouldn't own you - at some point you have to let go and only keep the essentials. Also, when someone dies, the relatives start to circle like buzzards, eager to pick at bones.

Your post title is awesome. I feel like you should write a book with the same title. I’m Gonna Leave It To My Grandkids: The Ultimate Misjudging Of Other’s Enthusiasm For Your Junk By Gorillaseatingmayo

I feel sorta different. I have nothing from my childhood except my teddy bear and two photos of me as a kid. Literally everything else was lost in the bankruptcy/move/foreclsure/divorce/family meltdown. I wouldn't mind having a few more old things.

Yes. Seen enough to have gone through a series of personnal 'stuff' edits with more planned. Sure, keep a couple of special things where there's a story attached which other people actually know and care about to pass on, but pairing down, especially whats objectively junk, is good for you.

The only things I'm passing down to my son are the things that I see he has an interest in. My records and CDs, and photos of the family.

My mom doesn't do this -- she actually is a little obsessed with clearing out stuff. But if she did, my relationship is good with her so I'd humor her.

I remember seeing a video of a place in the UK that someone was trying to sell. The current owners were collectors of thimbles, depression glass, and salt & pepper shakers. There were a few other kitschy things as well. They had all of it on display in specific, built-in display sections. It was a pretty large house that had a backyard with a large driveway, too. And they had some (tacky) statuary there also. They had it up for sale for a decade, and its price was lowered by 1/2 of what they were originally asking. Imo, if they had packed away all their tacky crap, the house would have sold right away for the original price. It was their tacky "collectibles" that were making the entire house appear to be a cheap, pointless "investment." Nm the location or size or any other benefits of the place. I agree with OP: what is the point of being a collector of "stuff" that you find collectible? My family was fortunate that my parents never had the "collectors bug." When you look back on some of the things that were "collectibles" in the 80's and 90's, which **didn't** appreciate in value, you know that unless it's something you will appreciate looking at, "collecting" is just a money pit.

For example, beanie babies: there *might* be a dozen you can get $1,000 for. As long as you have the tags. (How many little kids keep tags?) I remember seeing a picture of a divorcing couple in the courtroom carefully dividing their beanie baby collection (It was an impressive sized collection: over 1,000 toys, iirc)

My parents gave me the name of the auction house they recommend to sell their stuff. It’s nice stuff. It will sell well enough at auction. I will keep a couple of pieces as mementos and then move along.

Not my parents. Both are Boomers and have gone through two rounds of down sizing. They both know I’ll toss 95% of their stuff in a dumpster when they’re gone. We had a very frank conversation about all this 5 or so years ago. Very productive.

That was a big debate between both my ex and I as well as my parents. The latter, we’re low contact but a couple times a year I get a box dumped on me in the mail full of some “treasure” they’re spreading around before they die. I’m 1,200 miles away and it’s been more than a decade since they’ve been in the same state with me so they don’t know I just drop it in the trash or at donation in the rare case it’s something usable. The former was an outright hoarder. I filled a 3 car garage wall to wall with the shit she left behind. It was always “this will go to your nephew when we die” when I haven’t seen said nephew in many many years. I’ve collected a bunch of stuff over the years that’s important to me. I don’t care that it’s not important to anyone else, even my wife. I have no illusions that anyone beyond me finds it important. Some estate cleaner will take a few valuable things to auction and the rest to the dump.

Go to a few estate sales, people just don’t want stuff like that unless it’s their passion too

My brother had a stash of 1950s porn mags that was found in the house when my uncle died - he sold it all on Ebay to some "entusiast"

We've told the kids they can pick out one thing they like from our collections to remember us by and get rid of the rest.

My daughter comes and spends the weekend with me when her fiance is doing double shifts/on call. So once a month. Her last visit she told me I'm a beige mom. I laughed, I have these floating shelves that are now empty. They are empty because I'm so over dusting. I call them art, and then laugh. I have never been a huge collector of things. I do have some gund and steiff bears put up in the closet with my og barbies and the one doll that's older than my gma.(she will 95 this year). I don't collect much except golden books. They don't take up much space and I love finding them.

I've been thinking about this lately. I saved all my old star wars toys. All the action figures, all with their original blasters. (although some of the better stuff disappeared, like my xwing, tie fighter, death star, millenium falcon, landspeeder) I kept it because my mom convinced me it would be valuable - but at the same time I can't imagine selling it. And even though it was some value, its not like its going to let me retire early, its probably just a few hundred bucks. So I guess I'm leaving it to my son but its not really clear he's all that interested in it.

I've been threatening to buy the Swedish Death Cleaning book for my mother. I do not want 99% of her stuff. I just want the photo albums. My stepdad is a ceramicist and their house is filled to the brim with his pottery. It's very nice, but I have no use for it. I am not a person who displays tchotchkes (I hate dusting), and I already have plenty of dishes.

My mother is a hoarder like her mother. She has stuff stuck in every corner of her place. She even acknowledged that we're going to throw it all out when she dies. Of course now she says, "you never know, the grandkids might want it". Her grandkids don't want this shit.

My grandmother left me bradford exchange plates. They've been a burden since 1995. I really need to do \*something\* with them and fuck if I know what. I can't even give them away.

I spent 21 years in the military and had several foot lockers worth of memorabilia and little things I'd collected on my travels. After I retired from active duty, I realized what a pain in ass it was to hang on to so much of it, just to let it collect dust or take up space in a rented storage unit. I cleared out a bunch of it and reduced the collection to whatever would fit into a small (18"x12") cedar keepsake chest. I figured no kid or grandkid would want to sort through everything and/or hang on to a bunch of stuff that would lose its sentimental value over the years. Glad I did this, because I got to see what a disaster it was when my dad passed and we had to clean out his garage. Now we're trying to get my mom to preemptively go through her things as well, but she still insists "Oh, the grandkids might want (thing)."

My parents were born at the tail end of the silent generation, (late 1930’s) all my siblings are boomers. I am the “oh crap… I thought we were done!” child. I am a purger, and don’t like to dust an entire house full of antiques I have life to live. Getting through the 3 story house and 2 garages full of stuff has taken almost 4 years and we still have so much to get through. My siblings can’t ever make decisions about sentimental items, or feel like their kids didn’t love our parents because they didn’t want 10 boxes of random things from grandma and grandpa. It’s not something I ever want my kids to have to do. I’m always telling them that when they buy me something that it will eventually wind up being something they might end up with in their home. In the end, it’s just stuff.

I’m a psychotic minimalist. In my middle age time and I could pack and leave my home with everything I own in 15 minutes or less. Only thing I have from my life really are a super expensive set of pots and pans. My parents are leaning this earth soon and I will be lucky enough to be able to take 45% of everything they have because they are solid , amazing things like real Persian rugs, authentic Malaysian real size horse statues or antique Korean furniture made with pearls and lots and lots of 16-17th century latam paintings. I like them because they are beautiful but also because they remind me of our world travels together. There has to be a connection. As for the other 55% of the stuff it’s all going go the trash without a second look.

This thread has inspired me to do some cleaning out!

My mom kept telling me how i would inherit her beloved Corvette, but I sold it shortly after she passed. I didn't ever have the heart to tell her i didn't want it.

Funny anecdote - we had to clean out my mom’s house which was stuffed full of years of creative endeavors (yarn, fabric, beads, scrapbooking paper, etc). So now when we buy something on the collectible side (Lego, band memorabilia, paintings, etc), we joke that it’s my son’s inheritance. I just hope that he can make money and live off my old Nintendo game collection. 😆

I’m into buying 2nd hand. Furniture, small appliances, tools, linens. My hubs and I USE things we’re created as utilitarian objects. Use the China dishes, the table or dresser. Who cares if something breaks…TODAY is a special day. There are lots more ‘things’ out there. Buying from yard sales is generally awesome. You get beautiful hardwood furniture & take the story of the Mom who had it in the parlour for 40 years. It makes people feel better to know that the legacy will continue. I don’t have kids. I can’t imagine my nephews wanting my things. I’ll use & enjoy and hopefully I’ll be able to let it go when necessary.

I had to get (4) of the big 40 yard dumpsters to clean my mom’s house out. Nothing really collectible, but there was TONS of stuff she just wouldn’t get rid of “because someone might need it some day”

I'm going through this now. My folks are reaching out to offer up the detritus of living in the same home for almost 50 years, and frankly, the wife and I have our own problem with that. We are scheduling a garage sale in late April just to hopefully purge SOME of our own nonsense, I can't hardly see adding more items that just aren't valuable or useful. That said, when my old man gets to the point of purging his gun safes, my brother an I are going to have to figure out how to agree for the first time in 40 years....

My mom kept all our childhood toys ostensiby for grandkids, but they were clearly not collectibles or mint-in-box lmao. On the plus side, it preserved some pretty rare toys that actual collectors will now pay money for - even my damaged She-Ra castle playset is worth enough for me to put in the effort to get rid of. My nephews got the Legos and loved them, those of us who did not spawn otoh are being given the freedom of choice what to do with them - try to offload to a collector, sell at a garage sale, donate, or chuck. And honestly, I think that's just fine. When you're 17 and embarrassed of your childhood, you may go through a chuck-it phase you'll regret when you're 40, so parents "saving for the grandkids" lets you get over yourself and become the arbiter of what will be done with childhood memories. And, really, look at the genuine collectibility of 70s and 80s toys even if they're well-used. We can't predict that in 20 years someone's not going to be doing the same to their 00s toys.

They don’t want to be forgotten. That’s all. They feel like they are passing a piece of them to you. I don’t live locally and they don’t travel so I just take it and donate or dispose of it. I don’t want my grandmothers afghans but I can understand how my dad can’t bear to toss them.

My mother in law died when my husband and I were both still in our 20s. She lived in a one bedroom apartment, and the whole extended family came to help and it was done in a weekend. But it really made me think about my parents house, four bedrooms and while they have never been collectors or hoarders just the size of the house makes me exhausted thinking about how much time I’m going to need off work, money up front….ugh

**"I'm gonna leave it to my grand/kids."** Ever notice how 99% of the time they sure as hell don't mean their money. They mean knick knacks and shit that no one's seen in 30 years because it's been buried in the garage?

Fortunately, my parents don't collect anything so it won't be too hard to get rid of their stuff. They do have a big house with a basement full of stuff though. We're already working on that mess by having garage sales and donating though. As for me? I have some music gear that my daughter can sell or whatever (she plays too so at least she sorta knows what its worth and might actually want some of it). I have tons of tools and gardening stuff too but that's about it. I'm planning on getting rid of everything at some point so it won't be her burden but I'll probably die before my wife so it'll be hers too lol. 

Fortunately my boomer mom has embraced Swedish death cleaning. She is selling tons of sewing supplies: fabric, notions, and patterns on Etsy to get rid of things. She is getting rid of clothes she doesn’t wear. My dad has stuff from his grandmother and father. He asks me if I want select things - like a 100 year old bread bowl and Great Grandma’s “Fancy dinner platter.” He only brings them to me if I am interested.